WEBVTT - BEVERLY KILLS UPACK'S AND UNTUCKS DOWN UNDER! 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:01.720 It's in the news today, but it was actually on 0:00:01.800 --> 0:00:04.040 TV Reload the podcast last week Their Life. 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:07.640 Welcome back to TV Reload My Dame's Benjamin Norris and 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:10.200 on this podcast, I go behind the scenes with the 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:13.560 biggest players in television. Each episode you will get a 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:18.480 front row seat with content makers like executive producers, writers, editors, 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:21.640 and casting agents, plus the talent that we all see 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:25.079 on our screen. TV Reload reloads the shows that you 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:28.080 are currently watching and gives you a better insight into 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:32.440 our television industry and our streaming services. Today. On the podcast, 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:35.839 I have a feisty yet confident Ozzie Queen from RuPaul's 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:39.080 Drag Race Down Under Us Series two. Today's guest is 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:42.320 Beverly Kills. From day one, she was in it to 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:45.480 win it, and she was certainly not taking any prisoners. 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:48.040 The rest of the Queen's did at times seem to 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:51.400 struggle with Bev's uber confidence, and some would say she 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.279 was the least self aware, while others could see her 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:57.760 take on the competition to be well just competitive. There 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.560 was plenty of screen time for Bev, and with no 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:04.120 eyebrows and an undeniable pretty face, fans of the show 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:07.319 could not argue that producers had struck gold with her 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:10.800 casting on the second series of down Under. It all 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.080 seemed to come to her head with the numbers down 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.759 to five and a few strong words from her fellow 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.880 Queen's who unanimously felt it was Bev's time to go. 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:23.080 We will talk about her confidence or false confidence, depends. 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:23.560 On who you talk to. 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.479 If RuPaul taught her some life lessons and what about 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:30.920 that final lip sync? Was she intimidated by Queen Kong? 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:34.760 And how she feels about her co stars. Now, however, 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:37.600 let's get started with today's guest. I'd like to welcome 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.920 Beverly Kills from RuPaul's Drag Race down Under season two 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:42.600 to TV reload. 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:45.520 The cooking at drag Race now as well? Is that 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:46.640 the audience gets it. 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.440 Hurry up next, it's Beverly Killed. 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:52.760 You are stronger than that voice and it will never 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.600 go What happened when you got someone to the character? 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:56.520 That's kind of. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:57.440 Wasn't that funny? 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.200 I don't think that we had the bite to communicator 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:04.160 empathy to each other. Beverly Kills. 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:08.519 I'm sorry, my DearS, but you are both up for elimination. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.640 And I'm going to do a live reaction recap of 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:13.560 Muriel's wedding. 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.680 Thank you for sharing your heart and your love of 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:19.000 drag with the world. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:20.920 There was something in me that was like, I'm not 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.839 surviving this, but what I can do is make Queen 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:24.760 Kong Earnhus. 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.240 Spot Hi Beverly Kills. How the hell are you? 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:29.840 You know what? I have a bullet wound prosthetic on 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:32.680 my head and I'm in full enough drag at eleven 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:34.760 forty five am so I've had better days, but it 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:35.440 alls had worse. 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.639 Do the words top and five sound good to you. 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.400 I'll take it like I'd love top four or top three, 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:43.640 but better than top ten. I'll take five, you know, like, 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:46.200 And also it's top five out of not just the ten, 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:49.600 it's top five out of everyone who applied. That's pretty cool. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:51.160 That's the one thing that they keep coming back to. 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:53.480 So whenever I'm like, you know, people see the negative 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.079 self talk on the show, especially in this episode, but like, 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.919 whenever that voice pops in, I'm like, no, stop your 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.440 Beverly Kills. The top fivee of Drag Race down Under. 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:02.680 You can do. 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:07.239 Anything, absolutely, you know. Your relationship with RuPaul was great television. 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:10.320 He seemed like he really cared about your journey. Is 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.480 that TV magic or have you walked away with some 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:14.320 good advice from RuPaul? 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.520 I think the best advice. I'm so glad it got 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:18.760 aired because I really wanted everyone else to see that 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:21.079 as well. And it was on the Snatch Game episode 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:22.959 where I got a bit upset on stage and he 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:26.359 was like, I remember that when he first started talking. 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:28.640 I was like what because I was like, like cried 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:30.720 for my makeup and I could feel my contact like 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:32.679 slowly dislodging, and I'm like, what the fuck do you 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.960 want RuPaul like, and he's like, that negative voice will 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.440 never go away. And I thought he was just gonna stop, 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.960 and I was like, thanks, fuck you too, but then 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:43.920 he was like, you are stronger than that voice and 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:46.800 it will never go So just no, life is shit. 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:48.960 All you can do is just move forward. And I 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.000 was like, huh. The most successful drag queen in the 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:56.040 world does have some good points, interesting very well deserved, 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:59.200 and I like he's just earned that and he just rude. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:03.040 Just that's it, and that's why he's rue Paul, because 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:07.320 he can understand here's this clever, quiet empathy and get 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:10.240 he just everything he sees he gets it, but he 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:12.320 doesn't need to sit you down and tell you. All 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:13.840 he can do is just drop a bye to wisdom. 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.320 And in that moment when RuPaul said that to me, 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.880 it was like just clarity. It was brilliant. 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:19.480 Well when he. 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.320 Sort of said that, he still didn't really know who 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.920 you were. And then later on he sort of made 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:25.719 a comment saying, do you think that being such a 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.760 good looking kid has maybe held you back in some way? 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:31.880 So I wondered whether or not being such a gorgeous 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.359 kid your whole life that has held you back in 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:34.800 any way? 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:35.520 What do you think? 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:37.240 The first of all, thank you for the compliment, RuPaul, 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.240 I am taken. I think RuPaul is too, so that 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:40.160 might make it a bit weird. 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.520 But like, I don't think he was sitting. I don't 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:43.400 think that's where it was going. 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:46.240 Well, you know, he can have two Australian husbands if 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:50.760 he wants. But I don't know. I've never never been 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:52.960 shy being vulnerable or wearing my heart on my sleeve. 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:55.039 I felt like you had the most amount of screen 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:58.320 time this season. I've felt like and you know what. 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:01.520 I finished that season and watching the first episode knowing 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:04.159 I was safe episode two. Knowing I was safe, they 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.640 did not let me off the camera, and I did 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:10.560 not think I was like the main subject. I couldn't 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:14.599 fucking rest every episode on screen talking and I'm like, 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.440 give Bev a break, like, leave me alone. 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:19.680 Have you been happy with the way in which you 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.000 came across them? I mean, some great pieces to camera 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.360 and you were always in the drama. 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:27.360 Was I happy in the moment? No, but I look 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:30.800 back on it and it's harmless in the moment. I 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:33.920 remember when the premiere happened, and you know this, You've 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.159 done reality TV, and I think most of the audience 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:37.560 and the good thing that drag Race now as well, 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.000 is that the audience gets it. They understand the edits. 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:43.520 They understand that every single argument, agreement, success and failure 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:48.320 has context. So having that first episode of me literally 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.880 lining up the girls and insulting each of their outfits 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.400 one by one, they could have done that with anyone. 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:55.640 And so when that happened, I remember I was in 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:57.320 my premiere outfit and I just like, you know that 0:05:57.400 --> 0:05:59.279 gift of Homer going into the bushes is that's what 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:04.159 I felt like, not me, but I had like three 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:08.840 people online message me. I read the comments guilty is 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.160 charged on her three people, Max be like, I think 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:12.520 you should have done that, you had more respect for 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:14.359 the other queens. And then but I look back on 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:16.880 that and I'm like, that's fucking hilarious, like serious, Like 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:18.880 I don't know. I think it's all good. Like the 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:22.880 fans have they've loved my highs and they have related 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.160 to my lows, and I think that's all I can 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:25.560 ask for. 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:25.960 Well. 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.040 A conversation that has come up a few times from 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:32.040 viewers and other eliminated queens is where does Beverly Kills 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:33.760 get her confidence from? 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.000 I am a drag queen. I played dresser as a 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:42.720 living It's confidence of the drag, right, Like people use 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:45.520 the word fake a lot or like false confidence, and 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:47.640 I'm like Jesus Christ, like if I walk into a 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:50.200 booking meek and shy, that's a bit awkward. You need 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.600 to walk in with that with that confidence. Was some 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:55.839 of it false? Yeah, of course it was because I 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:58.120 wanted to push myself to do really well. Was some 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:01.480 of it warranted? Yeah, it was because I thought I 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.600 deserved it or did the best. Again, it's just it's 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:05.920 just honesty, I think, And the important part is I 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:08.040 said this with every interview pretty much, is that like 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.360 honesty is important because you know, if you ask me 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:12.040 for your opinion, not I'm not gonna lie to you 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:14.400 and I'm not gonna let you down. With that brutal 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:18.240 honesty also comes loyalty. Those attributes are much more important 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.560 than like not disrupting the piece. Sure, I'm a scorpio, 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.960 I will shape the room for the greater good. 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:25.520 But you also said fake it to you make it 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:27.440 a few times as well. You know, it's not exactly 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:30.160 like you were hiding with that confidence. You were like, no, no, no, 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:32.480 I might might not be the most confident person in 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:34.480 the room. I'm just trying to be no. 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:35.080 Oh my god. 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:35.200 No. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:36.880 And it was the same thing, like, you know, Mini 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:39.320 had that issue with me telling the judges that a 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.200 great time working with Pamara and then I tell the 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:42.840 girls I didn't have a good time working with Pamara. 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:45.280 I think, what Mini and I know this about each 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.680 other now, But what was missing there was that two 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.640 things can be true at the same time. I was 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.600 so proud of the work I did with Pamarra, Like 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:54.640 we put that together with two we're a Taurus and 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.240 a Scorpio, like, are you joking? Like that was not 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.840 going to work? And we made like a pretty decent 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:02.320 Was it the worst of the group, Sure, but it 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:04.840 was a pretty brilliant set. And then so I told 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:06.800 the judges, I'm so proud of the work we did, 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:10.200 and I told the girls working with Pamara was really tricky. 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.920 It was hard. I didn't felt listened to, and that's true. 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:15.560 At the same time, yeah, it's a very good point 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.680 to make, you know, you also proved that you could 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.960 throw shade pretty well. It would seem like you knew 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:24.360 those boundaries in your banter between the queens at times 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:25.320 better than they did. 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:27.320 You know, it looked. 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:30.520 At times where you were being on Rupol's drag race 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:32.560 and throwing some shade and then they were looking at 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:34.880 you like you were talking a different language. Is that 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:37.320 an example of you being a huge Ruphole super fan 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:40.240 and you're just leaning into the experience, or with those 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:43.320 other girls really challenged by what you were saying. 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:47.040 I think the latter I think that personally on the show, 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:49.720 I think that they might have used that first point 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:51.760 of like, oh, Bed's just ticket, She's just a young 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:54.400 queen who's been raised on social media and it's fuzz 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:58.840 confidence and she's gonna use words as like boots wig sligh, 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.320 But like that's all, it's all just in jest sort of. 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.200 It's all just an ironic use of the word to 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:06.640 be honest, because I think it's ridiculous. But when it 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.320 came to like my relationships with like the more experienced 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:11.880 queens and the reasons why they would be so taken 0:09:11.880 --> 0:09:14.600 aback when I would throw shade or hold them to 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:16.880 the same standards they held me to, I think it 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:19.040 took them aback because I think they might have had 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:21.280 being in the competition, you will get sort of neutralized. 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:23.040 You will walk in and you're all equals. For me, 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:24.760 at least that was the case. But for them, they 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:26.640 walked in being like I am this person, I have 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:28.240 this chip on my shoulder, and I'm here to win 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.440 and prove exactly who I am. Where I walked in 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:32.360 being like, you don't know me, but let me introduce myself. 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:34.640 So I think maybe that sort of difference in our 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:37.160 understanding of who we are when it comes to the 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:39.960 competition might have maybe changed it. But at the end 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:41.800 of the day, now the competition's done and we're all 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:44.080 in the real world, we all get each other like 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.240 one hundred percent. Like the season two group chat goes 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.360 off every day and we're augamzed. 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.080 Well, the others kind of stood back to what you 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.480 do your thing, and in some cases they left you 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:57.440 on your own and waited until this episode to pass judgment. 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:58.960 Is that a fair assessment. 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:01.760 I think the reason why I snapped the way I 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:03.679 did was because, like I just felt like I was 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:05.679 being kicked when I was down. I think that's the 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:08.240 main reason why I snapped. And it was like, this 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.440 is so not helpful advice. It's the least from helpful. 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:13.800 If someone's upset, don't be trying to, like, you know, 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.120 give them a solution. Just I'm just upset, man, Like 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:18.480 I'm just let me be sad, like this this is me, 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:20.520 This is this is who I be. You don't have 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:22.960 to accept it. You can just say like, I don't 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.640 really like understand you, but like I respect you. But 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:29.280 they were like, because we don't understand you, we think 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:32.280 that we've put this judgment on you, And that was 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.800 quite frustrating for me as well. I think a lot 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:37.920 of the context that was missing was that especially the 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.280 viewersiden't sye was that Aubrey had been doing drag for 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:43.480 like a year eighteen months. When I was doing Drag Race, 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:45.360 I had only been doing drag for like two and 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:47.760 a bit years, so I'd only had like about nine 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:50.160 months more experienced than Aubrey. But she was like, oh, 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.679 she's young, She's getting there, Whereas for some reason, the 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.719 standards that I was up to was like I had 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:56.599 to know everything. I don't. I don't claim to be 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.040 a super experienced queen. And then so when I was 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:03.360 in the top five, it was everyone had ten years 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:04.640 of performing experience on me. 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.719 I wonder if there's some jealousy, because I'm trying to 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:11.520 work out how that was sort of miscommunicated from their behalf. 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:13.040 I don't think it was jealousy at all. I don't 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:14.840 think those girls are jealous. I think it was I 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:17.680 just don't think they understood. Uh no, actually no, I 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:19.560 think they did understand. I don't think that we had 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.360 the ability to communicate our empathy to each other. We're 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.720 in a competition, and the empathy is in the back 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:26.280 of our brain, but at the front of our brain 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.680 is the competition. So we sort of you sort of 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:32.320 willingly ignore your not your professionalism, but like just the 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:35.319 way that you communicate with people. I don't blame Hannah 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:38.800 for the argument that we had, but I think she 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:42.280 knew why I was upset, and because of the context 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.240 of the show, she wasn't able to listen to it. 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:46.440 It was interesting, though, because Hannah and Queen sort of 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.760 called you false and it just came out of nowhere, 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.200 just all of a sudden, sou I'm like, you know, 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:53.040 Hannah went stop, you need to stop and sort of 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.200 had this very well put together thought of you that 0:11:56.320 --> 0:12:00.000 maybe was new, you know when that was put upon you. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.640 So how did you process their opinions and pick yourself 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:04.840 up and can continue with what you had to do. 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.240 I usually process people's opinions at me by screaming at them, 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:10.480 telling them to fuck off, And in that case, I 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:12.880 think it worked brilliantly. I think I snapped at her, 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.079 and I only think she got it when I launched 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.240 back at her, and I think I just I took 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:20.000 every bit of what she said and just sort of went, 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:22.640 listen to what you're doing to me. You're calling me false, 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.559 And that's like a brilliant way to gaslight someone like 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.280 because when you call someone false. How do you come 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.439 back from that? Because then everything is like you are false, 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.880 you are this. And in the moment, I was out 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:34.719 of my element, self critical, frustrated, scared, upset because I 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:36.760 pretty much knew I was going and I was all 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.520 of those things. And I think hannahnow willingly or not, 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.679 didn't like She just ignored it, and she was like, 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.120 the most important thing right now is that we figure 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.160 out why you being fake with us, And I'm like, 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.920 there is more important things. I'm pretty upset because I'm 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:50.560 pretty sure I'm going home and you guys have had 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:52.559 a lovely stroll to the top four. I guess that's 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.240 where my upsetness came from. But again, I don't blame 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.839 her for what happened, and that's fine. Sister's fight. 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.480 The way that you felt versus the w that you 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:04.080 came across, was there a miscommunication there? Is it like 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.240 you were brought up in some way to love bomb 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.400 your opponent as a way to disarm them? 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:09.840 Just can you give me like a rundown of how 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:10.400 it went. 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:13.520 At the start of the episode, Queen Seat of said, look, 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.240 I'm very sorry. She just said, I don't want to 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.840 apologize to you. Because then you'd think that you know, 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.000 she was wrong, and then she sort of said, I'm 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.160 so sorry of the way what happened last week. If 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:26.480 that ruined everyone's day and had this big moment, and 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:28.800 then you sort of jumped in and were like, you know, 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:30.520 I just want to say that I love you. At 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.840 that point, you could have been able to really hammer 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.360 it down the point with Queen and there was some 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:38.079 resolutions still to be had in that situation. 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:39.319 That's where I thought. 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:41.640 Maybe the girls would see that you were being false, 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:43.040 so you weren't being true to yourself. 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:45.760 I guess there's an element of truth to what you're saying. 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:48.600 I was just over the conflict, to be honest, I 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:52.520 wanted a solution. I suppose I don't like fighting with 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.120 people just as much as the next person. I don't think, yeah, 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:56.839 I don't think I was love bombing. I think it 0:13:56.920 --> 0:14:01.240 was I do love them, and that's our relationship now, 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:04.280 and you know, I don't if if we were to 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:05.920 do conflict resolution on the show, would be there for 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:07.560 hours and hours and hours and hours and hours talking 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:09.640 about the nuances of our relationship and the show, and 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:11.960 it's not possible. I just wanted to be like, look 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.600 all good, I do not hate you, you don't hate me. 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:16.439 We're moving on. You know. 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.920 It's interesting though, because like, arrogance and confidence are often confused, 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:22.480 and I think that with you on the show at times, 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:24.600 and I don't know how you felt by watching the show, 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.400 were you like, wow, I'm coming across so confidently. I 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.360 wondered whether or not arrogance at times was actually a 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:32.400 lack of confidence. 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:35.600 I think confidence is confidence and then arrogance is unearned confidence, 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:37.920 and it's sort of it was a bit of both. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:39.920 To be honest, again, like I was a fake it 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.840 to you make it is not my life's mantra, but 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.400 in that moment, I fucking needed it. So I was like, 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.440 I really need to push myself here and just fucking 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.960 go for it. And if I don't feel great about this, 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:50.880 I just need to make it look like I'm doing 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:53.040 my best. Don't let them see a sweat, you know. 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:55.480 But I think by holding that all in is why 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:59.600 I would have those quite high emotion moments, because I 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:01.320 would it all in and then be like, fuck, I 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:01.840 can't do that. 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:04.080 So well, what is it that you've learned from conflict? 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:04.600 You know? 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:07.680 What have you learned from those moments with the other girls. 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.360 I don't know, I think I don't I don't know 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:12.200 if it was necessarily that it was like lessons to 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.680 be learned. I think it was more just about like 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.560 showing that everyone is very different. We all have a 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:20.800 different idea of what our success looks like, or what 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.560 drag looks like. I think Drag Grace is a brilliant 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.560 showcase of drag, but it's also a brilliant showcase of 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.920 the human spirit and how we adapt to different situations, 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:32.440 especially as queck people. We've all got these different ideas 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.320 of what it means to be excellent, and you know, 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:37.920 it's our relationship to ourselves in relationship to others. So 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.760 I think it's sort of like an expose on the 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:40.320 queer mind. 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.520 And in a way, Mini predicted that you would be 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:44.800 the next target. When I spoke to Minnie Cooper, I 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:46.360 was like, what do you think is going to happen? 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.040 Because it kind of felt like there was a bit 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.200 of segregation happening with Minnie. And I said, with you 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:53.920 gone from that conversation, what's going to happen now? And 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:55.920 Mini kind of said, well, I kind of feel like 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.520 it's going to go to BEV was that good foreshadowing 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:01.080 on good insight from her perspective. 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:04.000 Brilliant foreshadowing. The second she left, it changed the same 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:05.560 that there was a new There was a new target, 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:07.200 and it was me. I'm not saying a group the 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.360 group targeted me, but I. 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:09.720 It felt that way. 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:11.320 I was the black sheep with the group, was the 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:15.240 most the most unlike them. So therefore I was not 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:19.400 part of the group that in the competition, and it 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.000 sucked to be in that because it like literally zapped 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:23.720 me right back to that thing that feels like, this 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:25.520 is your high school science class and you know everyone's 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.520 picking their science lab buddies and it's like, oh, you 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:29.520 guys just want to do with us. 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.360 No matter how old you get, you can still remember 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.960 that feeling of not being picked in the science class. However, 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:35.720 yeah it was in science, it was sport. 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.480 I'm so glad we didn't do the fucking captain's pick 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.200 thing because I was last every single time. 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.960 Why was Spanky so accessible, because you know, there was 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:45.880