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Speaker 1: It's their Happy Family's podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers now.

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Speaker 2: A couple of saturdays ago, Kylie and I were invited

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Speaker 2: along to a conference to speak to fathers of girls.

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Speaker 2: The Fathers of Girls organization exists for dads of daughters

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Speaker 2: and they raise Buttons for Confident Girls, a charity that

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Speaker 2: is designed to help girls who are certainly not born

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Speaker 2: into the most privileged of circumstances and have a range

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Speaker 2: of challenges and difficulties. Great charity doing really really delightful work.

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Speaker 2: At that conference or at that luncheon at the fundraiser,

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Speaker 2: I spoke for a little while, but before I spoke,

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Speaker 2: I decided to throw Kylie in it. In a room

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Speaker 2: of two hundred and sixty men who had had a

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Speaker 2: nice lunch and a couple of drinks, Kylie stood up

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Speaker 2: on stage and grabbed that microphone and spoke to them

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Speaker 2: about being a mother of girls. What we decided to

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Speaker 2: do today is share Kylie's talk in full, and we

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Speaker 2: wanted to share it with you because it applies. It

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Speaker 2: doesn't just apply to mothers of girls or fathers and girls.

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Speaker 2: It's a parenting conversation, but Kylie had these two hundred

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Speaker 2: and sixty men absolutely captivated though their wrapped attention. Many

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Speaker 2: of them were literally brought to tears as Kylie shared

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Speaker 2: her talk. And we're going to share that with you

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Speaker 2: right now. Kylie does have a little bit of hay fever.

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Speaker 2: So if she sounds a little bit, let's word, froggy, Kylie,

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Speaker 2: would you call it froggy a little bit hoarse. We'll

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Speaker 2: come up with another animal that you could sound. But

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Speaker 2: here we go. This is what Kylie had to say

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Speaker 2: at the Fathers of Girls conference.

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Speaker 1: When Justin's first book was published and arrived on our doorstep,

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Speaker 1: it was a monumental moment at our home. There were tears, huts,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of excitement over this reality. Seeing all

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Speaker 1: of his hard work come to fruition and such a

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Speaker 1: tangible form was significant, so much so that we packed

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Speaker 1: the six kids into the car that very afternoon and

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Speaker 1: made the one and a half hour trek up the

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Speaker 1: freeway to visit Justin's nan Margie, who was holding on

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Speaker 1: by a thread. We wanted to give her the first

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Speaker 1: copy and read her the dedication meant just for her.

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Speaker 1: A few months later, I found myself thumbing through its pages,

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Speaker 1: having read it in its entirety. During the proofing stage,

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Speaker 1: I returned for a gentle reminder of things we already

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Speaker 1: knew but was struggling to implement. Around page ten, I

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Speaker 1: was hit with a task. Imagine you are your child

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Speaker 1: as you answer these questions about your parenting. Things like

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Speaker 1: my parents support me. They cansole me when I'm upset.

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Speaker 1: They show they care about me. They have genuine interest

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Speaker 1: in me. They remember things that are important to me.

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Speaker 1: They are available to talk at any time. They ask

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Speaker 1: questions in a caring manner. They spend extra time with

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Speaker 1: me just because they want to. They were willing to

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Speaker 1: talk about my troubles and my interests. I value my input.

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Speaker 1: They make me feel wanted. I was struck by this challenge.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to imagine. I wanted to know firsthand.

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Speaker 1: I craved a concrete proof understanding my successes, failures, and

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Speaker 1: aerism improvement. In a state of quandary, I deliberated on

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Speaker 1: the best way to extract this information from my children.

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Speaker 1: I considered asking a close friend or a neighbor, both psychologists,

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Speaker 1: to spend time with my kids one on one, But

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Speaker 1: the thought of my children sharing my shortcomings with them

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Speaker 1: broke my heart a little. I just wasn't sure I

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Speaker 1: was ready to face my flaws publicly. But would my

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Speaker 1: children be honest if I asked them myself. I decided

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Speaker 1: there was only one way to find out, and that's

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Speaker 1: how PPIs Personal progress interviews began in our home. I

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Speaker 1: needn't have worried about my kids being honest with me.

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Speaker 1: After all, every parent has probably been told by their

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Speaker 1: child at some point after an unpopular request, that they

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Speaker 1: are the worst. Just yesterday, my children didn't hold back,

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Speaker 1: justin played with the other kids in another room while

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Speaker 1: I took each one into the lounde room and went

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Speaker 1: through their list. Seeing myself through my children's eyes was humbling.

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Speaker 1: They truly are pure light. In many ways, they saw

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Speaker 1: the best in me when I felt so inadequate. Yet

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Speaker 1: there were also moments of clarity, a sucker punch to

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Speaker 1: the heart as they opened up and shared things like,

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Speaker 1: you're really good at listening to me unless you're at

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Speaker 1: your sewing machine or Dad's on his phone. You say

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Speaker 1: you're listening, but I know you're not because you never

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Speaker 1: look up La aged four ouch. Over the years, the

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Speaker 1: process is simplified to three simple questions. What's going well

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Speaker 1: our successes, what's not our failures? And where can we improve?

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Speaker 1: This pattern has been refined over the years with each

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Speaker 1: of them. I'd love to say we are meticulous with

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Speaker 1: our timing and have these conversations once a month. We

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Speaker 1: do not, But when we feel a disconnect or a

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Speaker 1: sense of troubled heart, we tap into the our three questions.

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Speaker 1: It might be while snuggling on the bed, driving to school,

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Speaker 1: walking the dog, or over a milkshake down at the

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Speaker 1: local cafe, dependent on each child's needs or wants. Never

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Speaker 1: is this process treated like a formal interview. In preparation

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Speaker 1: for what I might share with each of you, I

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Speaker 1: took the time to sit down with each of my

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Speaker 1: kids and ask them two things. What have you loved

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Speaker 1: about the way Dowd and I have parented you? And

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Speaker 1: what will you do differently with your own family? These

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Speaker 1: were really big questions, but don't worry. I had emotional

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Speaker 1: band aids ready. After all, I really put myself in

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Speaker 1: the thick of it, didn't I. Remembering that first humbling experience,

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Speaker 1: I found this time was no different. Our beautiful girls,

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Speaker 1: ranging from ages twenty five to ten, each bored their

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Speaker 1: souls in eloquent ways, saying essentially the same things. They love,

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Speaker 1: no matter how busy we get. That we prioritize family meals.

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Speaker 1: They love that we've taught them skills in emotional intelligence

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Speaker 1: forage through hard conversations, usually later a night, when they

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Speaker 1: watch their friends navigate challenges. They feel grateful for those

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Speaker 1: tough talks. That's where their emotional muscles get strong. They

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Speaker 1: love that we prioritize their education and interests in whatever

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Speaker 1: form it takes. We ask questions until we find answers.

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Speaker 1: We listen to their needs, and we create a safe

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Speaker 1: space for them to share their hearts. They appreciate that

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Speaker 1: we teach them skills of independence, leaving them feel competent

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Speaker 1: and capable. They know that arguments never last more than

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Speaker 1: a day, and that forgiveness is given freely and salt

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Speaker 1: quickly when needed. They love that we let them make

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Speaker 1: mistakes and help them navigate challenges when they arise. They

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Speaker 1: feel like we have their back even when they get

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Speaker 1: it wrong. I had grand ideas about sharing lessons learned

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Speaker 1: in the trenches, hard won wisdom from the battle front

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Speaker 1: of parent life. Ways in which you might support your

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Speaker 1: wives better, especially as girl mums, or a list of

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Speaker 1: common mistakes dads make with their daughters, but they all

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Speaker 1: paled in insignificance. After my conversations this week, honoring my

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Speaker 1: daughter's hearts and their request, only one lesson that matters.

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Speaker 1: When I asked if they would change anything, they told

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Speaker 1: me there was only one thing. With daddy traveling so much,

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Speaker 1: they recognize I carry a huge responsibility in running the family,

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Speaker 1: which often leaves me exhausted at the end of the

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Speaker 1: day and stretched beyond capacity. If they could change one thing,

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Speaker 1: it would be to have more time time with us

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Speaker 1: what teenager asks for? That? Seriously, Our kids push back

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Speaker 1: a lot as they assert their independence, but deep down,

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Speaker 1: what they want more than anything is our time. You see,

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Speaker 1: to a kid, love is spelled T, I M E.

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Speaker 1: Time is their love language, no matter their age or

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Speaker 1: relationship status. It never changes and they crave it. They

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Speaker 1: need it like we need air to breathe. They want

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Speaker 1: our time to share their hearts, their successes and failures,

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Speaker 1: their heartaches and joys. They want time to laugh, to cry,

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Speaker 1: time to play, and time to create, time to snuggle.

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Speaker 1: Don't be fooled. Don't think that because your kids are

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Speaker 1: all grown up. Even at the ripe old age of

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Speaker 1: eight or eighteen, they are too old for snuggles. They

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Speaker 1: even want time for that. The other night, as I

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Speaker 1: lay half comitosed on the bed after another mammoth day,

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Speaker 1: one of the kids stopped by my bedroom door and

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Speaker 1: asked if I was up for a walk along the beach.

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Speaker 1: It was only seven point thirty, but I was shattered.

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Speaker 1: I explained this to my daughter and sent her on

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Speaker 1: her way. She accepted my decline graciously and understandingly, but

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Speaker 1: as she walked away, my heart pained. This was a

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Speaker 1: bid for connection. So I mustered all the energy I

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Speaker 1: could find and I got out of bed. Let's go,

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Speaker 1: I said. A hope field really came floating down the hallway.

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Speaker 1: We dumped in the car and drove to our favorite spot.

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Speaker 1: Five kilometers later. She was all talked out, but literally beaming.

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Speaker 1: She just needed her mum, time to share her heart

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Speaker 1: with me, time to listen to mine, but ultimately time.

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Speaker 1: As I reflect on this journey of parenting, it clear

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Speaker 1: that the most profound gift we can give our children

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Speaker 1: is our time. In a world filled with distractions, Choosing

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Speaker 1: to prioritize those moments foss's deep connections and reassures them

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Speaker 1: of our love and lets them know they matter. Whether

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Speaker 1: through laughter, conversation, or simply being present, these shared experiences

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Speaker 1: shape their understanding of love and security. So as we

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Speaker 1: navigate the challenges of busy lives and growing independence, let's

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Speaker 1: remember to our girls love is spelled t I m E.

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Speaker 1: Before we know what, our little ones will be all

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Speaker 1: grown up, and we won't only wonder where the time went.

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Speaker 1: We'll always wish we had more of it with them

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Speaker 1: what we could. It might seem like a lot in

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Speaker 1: the moment, but time together isn't just about building memories.

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Speaker 1: When nurturing resilient, confident individuals who know they are valued

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Speaker 1: as a parent, Nothing is more fulfilling than knowing that.

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Speaker 1: Forget the lists, forget the dos and don'ts. At the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, it's the time we spend with

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Speaker 1: them that truly matters.

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Speaker 2: Great stuff, Hey Fever a site great stuff and so

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Speaker 2: well received by a group of men who, well, we

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Speaker 2: didn't know how it was going to go, but they

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Speaker 2: just loved it. They said all sorts of kind things.

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Speaker 2: One guy came up to us afterwards and just said,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do the rest of this lunch.

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Speaker 2: I just want to go home and hug my kids.

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Speaker 2: I just want to spend the afternoon with my kids.

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Speaker 1: I obviously don't get to go with you very often,

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Speaker 1: and I definitely do not get to share the stage

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Speaker 1: with you very often. I was very nervous being in

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Speaker 1: a room full of men. A sea of pink did help. Yes,

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of pink shirt.

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Speaker 2: I wore a blue shirt, and when I got there,

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Speaker 2: I thought, oh my goodness, we've got like two hundred

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Speaker 2: and sixty blocks that are pretty much all wearing pink shirts.

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Speaker 2: eOne didn't really they didn't give me a dress code.

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Speaker 2: I didn't feel good about it.

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Speaker 1: But when you have somebody say something like that, you've

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Speaker 1: got this opportunity to reflect on what's most important. And

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Speaker 1: in that moment, he just wanted to be with this family.

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Speaker 1: That just made my heart melt.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So we hope that as you've listened to

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Speaker 2: Kylie's comments, that that's done the same thing for you,

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Speaker 2: that it makes you want to go and hug your

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Speaker 2: kids and spend time with them and get into that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we say it over and over and over again.

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Speaker 2: I don't know where where the original quote came from.

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Speaker 2: I can't attribute it appropriately, but it's been a mantra

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Speaker 2: of mine. Kid Spell love tim Listening to you talk

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Speaker 2: about that, Kylie reminds me of my gold Flex story

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Speaker 2: that I love to tell. I think maybe we'll do

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Speaker 2: that on the podcast as we move towards the summer holidays,

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Speaker 2: just as a reminder that we've got to find those

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Speaker 2: moments and savor them and cherish them. But I'm really

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Speaker 2: glad you shared that. Thanks for doing that, especially with

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Speaker 2: the annoying hay fever that's just come back and given

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Speaker 2: you a big bite today. The Happy Families podcast is

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Speaker 2: produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. For more information

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Speaker 2: about how to make your family happier and get that

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Speaker 2: time working just right, you can visit us on our

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Speaker 2: socials on Instagram and Facebook or Happy families dot com

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Speaker 2: dot a