1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 2: Now, I wouldn't have said yes to my parents. 4 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm working, he's Trolley's totally have 5 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 3: your parents tell you to wash the car. 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,319 Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how much fun I had zooming 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,119 Speaker 2: around the shop and Center car park on Trolley's at 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 2: nine point thirty at nine I mean it was and 9 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 2: I was allowed to be there doing it. It was great. 10 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: And now here's the scars of our show, my mum 11 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: and dad. 12 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 2: Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy 13 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 2: Families dot comte Are You and the parenting co parenting 14 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 2: expert and co hosts of Channel nine's Parental Guidance. I 15 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 2: knew i'd get there eventually. I'm here with Kylie, my wife. 16 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: We decided to take on something a little bit different 17 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 2: today and answer the question, should my kids get a job? 18 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 2: How can that help them with their mental health? That's 19 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 2: the conversation for our discussion, Kylie, before we dive into 20 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 2: the broader discussion around this, did you have a job 21 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: when you were a teenager? I can't for ever asking 22 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 2: you this, but I don't remember you ever talking about 23 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 2: it either. 24 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 3: So my mum actually worked for a family friend from home, 25 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 3: that's right. 26 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 2: And I your mum was working remotely before it became 27 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 2: a thing, and. 28 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 3: I had the privilege of being able to work from home, 29 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 3: so I never actually had. 30 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: To deal with a boss. Well your mom was yea, 31 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: your boss yeh. Yeah. And so that work was I think, 32 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: what do you call it, like pieceworks? 33 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 3: So normally I would be doing that in a warehouse. 34 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 3: Was warehouse work yep, you know, kind of packing and stacking. 35 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,400 Speaker 3: But we were able to do it from home. 36 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. Cool. I had more than one job when I 37 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,479 Speaker 2: was a teenager. I was pretty industrious. My first job ever, 38 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 2: I was a checkout chick. Can I say that? It 39 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 2: was a checkout chick at Willworth's. I did that for 40 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,680 Speaker 2: quite a long time. But I worked in a pizza shop, 41 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 2: making pizzas for Bruce's Ossie Pizza at East Gosford. Bruce's 42 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 2: Ozsi Pizza. How good is that? I just love the name, 43 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 2: and he actually made really really good pizzas. I was 44 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 2: a delivery driver. I worked as a trolley pusher. I 45 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 2: worked fruit and vegetable shop. You worked at the Charcoal Chicken. 46 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 2: I worked at the Charcoal Chicken. I stuffed chickens, my 47 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: favorite thing. When people would come in to buy chicken 48 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 2: and chips, sometimes they'd buy half a chicken, and I'd say, 49 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 2: because you know, when you buy a quarter, you say 50 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: which quarter would you like? The wing or the leg? 51 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 2: When they'd say, like a half a chicken, I'd say, 52 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 2: which half would you like? I thought it was so funny, 53 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 2: and they mean like I was some kind of a weirdo. 54 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 2: It's just the kind of guy I am, And I reckon, 55 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 2: I reckon. I've had a whole lot of other jobs 56 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 2: that I've just put out of my memory over the years. 57 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 2: And that was before you left high school. Yeah, that 58 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 2: was all while I was a high school student. I 59 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 2: had so many jobs sacked lots. I did get sacked. 60 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 2: I did get sacked a couple of times. But I 61 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,119 Speaker 2: think that's one of the We're going to talk about 62 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 2: the pros and cons of your kids having a job soon, 63 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 2: but I reckon that's actually one of the pros. I'll 64 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: explore why that is in a sec Economically, right now 65 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 2: is one of the very best times. I don't think 66 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 2: there's ever been a better time. For our kids to 67 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 2: go get jobs. You don't have to have any prior experience. 68 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,519 Speaker 2: Employers are screaming for staff, and they're pretty much saying, 69 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 2: you don't need any skills, you don't need any experience. 70 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 2: You can be a school kid. We'll put you on 71 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 2: the minimum wage, and you can work part time in 72 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 2: the afternoons and after school and on the weekends. And 73 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 2: there is such a demand for staff, especially for casual staff. 74 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 2: And from a statistical point of view, fewer teens have 75 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 2: jobs now than ever before, So teenagers are actually working 76 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 2: less than they used to when we were growing up, 77 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 2: or even ten or fifteen years ago. 78 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 3: Just listening to your big, long list of experience that 79 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 3: you had before your eighteenth birthday, I'm kind of feeling 80 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: like I missed out on a whole lot. 81 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've got I mean, I can't remember all 82 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 2: of those jobs, but when I look back on all 83 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 2: the jobs that I had, I've got really cool memories 84 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 2: of it and what I learned from them. I actually 85 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 2: think that it taught me a lot. And so we've 86 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 2: encouraged our kids to have jobs, but a lot of 87 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 2: parents aren't encouraging their kids to. 88 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 3: My parents didn't want me to have a job. So 89 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 3: why why did you They wanted me to focus on 90 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 3: my schooling. 91 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think, how did that work out for you? 92 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 2: Just incidentally, do you know what I mean? Like, we 93 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 2: make this big to be Oh, kids've got to do well, 94 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 2: You've got to make sure you've got your schooling under control. 95 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 2: But a lot of kids just don't. Actually, they don't 96 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 2: care that much, and having a part time job doesn't 97 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 2: really interfere with it all that much either. 98 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 3: But I think that they were also parents who lived 99 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 3: in fear, and they were concerned about the influences that 100 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,039 Speaker 3: I would be exposed to once I left the home. 101 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 2: Well, that is one of the drawbacks of having a 102 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 2: part time job, which we'll talk about in just a 103 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 2: secon actual why don't we do that now? Why don't 104 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 2: we dive into the pros and cons of your kids working? 105 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 3: So why else do you reckon? Parents are stopping their 106 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 3: kids from getting a job. It's not even so much 107 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 3: that they're stopping I think they're just not encouraging them. 108 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. Sure, Well, actually I know several parents who have 109 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 2: said to their kids, I will continue to give you 110 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: pocket money because I don't want you to get a job, Like, 111 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 2: I'm aware of a number of parents who have taken 112 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: on the responsibility, of the financial responsibility of bringing their 113 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 2: children through because they really don't want them working outside 114 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 2: of the home. 115 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 3: As an outsider, just listening to that conversation, it's very 116 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 3: easy to see how children grow up feeling entitled when 117 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 3: somebody is just handing them over money. 118 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, in each of the cases that I'm describing, the 119 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 2: parents said, I don't want you to get a job. 120 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 2: I'm going to give you pocket money, but here's the expectation. 121 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: So there's been that, and the kids have been pretty 122 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 2: happy to be complying with it, which I find striking 123 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 2: because I wouldn't have said yes to my parents. I 124 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm working. 125 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 3: He's trolley's totally have your parents tell you to wash 126 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 3: the car. 127 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how much fun I had zooming 128 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 2: around the shopping center car park on trolleys at nine 129 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 2: point thirty at nine I mean, it was and I 130 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 2: was allowed to be there doing it. It was great. 131 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 2: I think though, that what we're seeing ongoingly, We're seeing 132 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 2: increased pressure from parents towards kids and increased pressure on parents. 133 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 2: There's a lot of ego involvement here in the sense 134 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 2: that if our children aren't doing well, it's something or 135 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 2: other that it's a reflection on who we are as parents. 136 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 2: The increasing fetishization and intensification of parenting, I think is 137 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 2: really driving this. Plus there's a lot of kids, like 138 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 2: you said, who are pretty content to sit back and say, yeah, cool, 139 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 2: I'll just take your money and I'll just ask you 140 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 2: for a fifty, a twenty or whatever, and parents seem 141 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,039 Speaker 2: to be happy to dish it out. I think with 142 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 2: the current economic instability that we're about to face, based 143 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 2: on rising interest rates inflation, I kind of think that 144 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 2: parents might become a little less willing to hand over 145 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 2: all the cash. But that's a conversation for another day. 146 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 3: Well, I was just thinking, based on my experience growing 147 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 3: up and what people are experiencing these days, that there 148 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 3: is definitely a lift in economic stability than there was 149 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 3: when I was a kid. 150 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, we seem to be doing better as a community overall. 151 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 2: That's certainly not the case for everybody. But there has 152 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 2: been an increase in wealth as property is taken off, 153 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 2: and as long as people are in the market, people 154 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 2: are making more money on that kind of thing. Having 155 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 2: fewer kids as well, and that's going to be part 156 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 2: of it. So let's talk, Kylie, pros and cons of 157 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 2: your kids having a job while they're in their teens. 158 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 3: Do you want to start con? 159 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do the cons first. Let's do the bad 160 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 2: stuff and they'll go to the good stuff. 161 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 3: Okay. I think number one is actually the fact that 162 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 3: it interrupts family life and for parents who are already 163 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 3: feeling time poor, the ability to get their kids from 164 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 3: a to b or be awake at ten o'clock at 165 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 3: night when they finish their shift to pick them up. 166 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 2: So case in point, we've got a fifteen year old 167 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 2: who's got a job at a local shop down the 168 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 2: road and once a week she has a shift that 169 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 2: finishes at ten pm. And I am so grateful, I'm 170 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 2: so overwhelmingly grateful that we have two teenage daughters who 171 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 2: are now adults who say to us, yeah, you guys, 172 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 2: go to sleep, we'll be awake, we'll get we'll get it. 173 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 2: And we're like, oh, thank them, there's that because we 174 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 2: are gone by like eight thirty nine o'clock at night, 175 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 2: and the kids go and get that daughter and bring 176 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 2: her home. But it does it kind of messes up 177 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 2: your plans. And at the moment, we're trying to plan holidays, right, 178 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 2: We're trying to get Christmas organized and work out when 179 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 2: we can disappear for a bit here or a bit there, 180 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 2: and the kids like, oh, yeah, but I'm not allowed 181 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 2: to take time off work because in retail apparently, even 182 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 2: if you're a casual kid employee, you're not allowed to 183 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 2: take the time off. So it's really, really, really complex 184 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 2: in terms of the way it interferes with family life. 185 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 2: Actually sucks well. 186 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 3: Then, and that flows into kids' schooling. So, like you said, 187 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 3: we've got a daughter finishes at ten pm at night. 188 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 3: That means she wakes up the next morning, she's exhausted, 189 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 3: she's groggy, and she's not much good the next day, 190 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 3: and it really does have an impact on her ability 191 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 3: to kind of flourish for the next few days. 192 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 2: It's also the reason that each of the parents that 193 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 2: I was describing before said, I don't want my kids working. 194 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 2: I want them to concentrate on school. It's very important 195 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 2: to me that they get the very best grades that 196 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 2: they can and having employment is going to take away 197 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 2: from study time. Now I disagree with that. I think 198 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 2: that kids need to have that outlet. I think that's 199 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 2: great for their resiliency. There are so many advantages to 200 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 2: having a job, but it's certainly a reason that a 201 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 2: lot of parents will give for why they don't want 202 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 2: their kids to have a job. And I can see 203 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 2: how it could be a con. I think it's a 204 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 2: legitimate con in some context, so we'll leave it in there. 205 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,959 Speaker 2: My big con is money. Like, it's great when the 206 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 2: kids have got their own money, but it's also it's 207 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 2: a double edged sword. Once they've got their own money, 208 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 2: they're no longer accountable to you for the things that 209 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 2: they're spending their money on, and you don't always know 210 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 2: what they're spending it on, how much they've got, where 211 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: it's going, and every now and again the kids can 212 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 2: utilize their money for nefarious means, for things that we 213 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 2: might not want them to be spending their money on 214 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 2: and might not want them to engage in. 215 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 3: Well, I guess that flows into the next thing that 216 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,719 Speaker 3: just opens them up to other influences outside of the home, 217 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 3: whether that be people or like you said, the additional 218 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 3: money and affluence that they feel allows them to do 219 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 3: things that you wouldn't otherwise be doing. 220 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,240 Speaker 2: So I'm inclined to be dismissive of that because they're 221 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 2: going to be exposed to external influencers everywhere they go, 222 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: whether it's a sports club or whether it's the at 223 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 2: school or whatever it might be. But let me argue 224 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 2: against myself for just a sec. Because when our eldest 225 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 2: daughter got her first job and she was working at 226 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 2: Chicko's at fig Tree in Woollongong. When she was working there, 227 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 2: she was not hanging around with other fifteen year olds. 228 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 3: No, And that's what I was about to say. At school, 229 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 3: they're hanging out with kids roughly around the same age. 230 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 2: HPS. 231 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 3: Now they're hanging out with adults, and it's a completely 232 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 3: different playground. 233 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 2: A lot of young adults sort of eighteen through twenty 234 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 2: five in that environment, and all of a sudden, now 235 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 2: fifteen year old's like, can I just hang around at 236 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 2: work until eleven thirty because they're all going. 237 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 3: To Oh, I'm going to go to that party. 238 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I've been invited to so and So's 239 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 2: nineteenth And I'm like, no, you're fifteen, like this is 240 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 2: and so you do encounter those having gone through that list, 241 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 2: it kind of makes it sound like your kid's getting 242 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 2: a job might not be the best idea. Let's talk 243 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 2: about the pros. 244 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 3: Well, there's actually a substantial list for the pros, because 245 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,600 Speaker 3: I think the most important thing our kids learn is independence. 246 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 3: You know, they go from being completely dependent on us, 247 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 3: and then we get to that twelve year old thirteen 248 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 3: year old stage where they really start to buck the system. 249 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,640 Speaker 3: They want to be independent, but they still don't have 250 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 3: the capacity to do everything on their own. By the 251 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 3: time they're ready to get a job, they actually are 252 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 3: at a point where they can start to be a 253 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 3: lot more independent, whether that be catching the bus to 254 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 3: get to work, riding their bike, walking down the road 255 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 3: to the local store. If that's where they get their job, 256 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 3: it really enables them to step up and have a 257 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 3: sense of independence. 258 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 2: What else have you got on your list? 259 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 3: So the second thing I've got is they learn financial literacy. 260 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 3: It's about responsibility and accountability and it plays. 261 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 2: Would they need some oversight from us? 262 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 3: I was about to say we have a huge part 263 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 3: to play in that, but as our children have got jobs, 264 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 3: sitting down with them creating a budget and while they 265 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 3: actually don't know this, we actually kind of force their 266 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 3: savings just because of the way we position things. 267 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,719 Speaker 2: That's exactly right. So we set up all. 268 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 3: Their accounts and they pay board. We get them to 269 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 3: pay themselves, so they actually have a savings and we're 270 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,959 Speaker 3: really on that savings like it's really it's actually an 271 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 3: exaggerated savings account because when you're that age, what do 272 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 3: you actually really need to spend your money on? 273 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, put as much money away as you can, is 274 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 2: what we tell the kids. 275 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 3: Number three. It's another avenue for them to make friends, 276 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 3: another opportunity for social interactions, which is so imperative. 277 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 2: And we've seen that every single one of our kids, 278 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 2: haven't We we've seen them actually really enjoy that social aspect. 279 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 3: Gain competence, and learn new skills. 280 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: Ye. 281 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 3: And like you said with your big long list, the 282 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 3: reality is you kind of look at it and go, 283 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,559 Speaker 3: what did I actually learn? But you learn life skills, 284 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 3: you learn people's skills. So I guess the next thing 285 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 3: on my thing is navigating relationships outside the home. 286 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you don't. 287 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 3: You don't get to have a volatile blow up like 288 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 3: you do with your sister in the bedroom because she 289 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 3: wore your dress when somebody upsets you in the working environment, 290 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 3: So the opportunity to navigate with those relationships outside the home, 291 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 3: I think is probably one of the most important things 292 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 3: I learn. 293 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 2: And as much as we don't want our kids to 294 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 2: have a toxic boss, a lot of bosses are not 295 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 2: quite as nice and nurturing and gentle as we are 296 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 2: as parents, and so they do get to experience what 297 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: the world can be like. And our kids generally come 298 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 2: home and say, I like it here. It's nice. You 299 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,839 Speaker 2: guys are nice to me. People are nice in this house, 300 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 2: generally like it's a good place to be. 301 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 3: As we've watched our older kids obviously go through a 302 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 3: number of different jobs, watching their kind of processing, their 303 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 3: mental processing as they kind of go I really like 304 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 3: this environment, yes, as opposed to that environment and recognizing 305 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 3: that they actually can pick and choose where they work. 306 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 2: So you've pretty much said a number of things that 307 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 2: I had on my list. We haven't compared lists ahead 308 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 2: of time, so I'm just crossing a few of mine off. 309 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 2: Do you have anything else, because I've got a couple 310 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 2: of things that we haven't touched on. 311 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 3: Oh, you just just show off, nor go off. 312 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 2: I just came up with a couple of things. It's 313 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 2: all so I think one of the things that I 314 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 2: love about what I've done is that I did so 315 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 2: many different things, and I found stuff that I loved 316 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 2: and stuff that I hated I forgot. I was a 317 00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 2: furniture removalist and I also worked in radio station. I 318 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: got part time job there. I worked in a printery, 319 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 2: a print shop, doing laminating and printing and that sort 320 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 2: of stuff. As was I mean, I had a lot 321 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,320 Speaker 2: of jobs, but I found the stuff that lit me up, 322 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 2: the stuff that energized me. And it wasn't the chicken shop. No, 323 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,199 Speaker 2: it wasn't the chicken shop. You ate a lot of 324 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 2: chicken every now and again. I still think maybe we 325 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 2: should open one up, because it's pretty reliable income. But 326 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 2: what I learned was to follow my energy. I also 327 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 2: learned what it was like to not like something and 328 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 2: then have to take a big deep breath and say 329 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 2: do I or don't I quit? And learning to quit, 330 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 2: learning to have the courage to front up and say 331 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 2: to somebody, this isn't working out for me, I don't 332 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 2: want to be here anymore. That's a really important life skill. 333 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 2: Another life skill is learning how to deal with the 334 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 2: rejection of being fired. And yes, I was fired from 335 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 2: a number of places, from Bruce's, Lossie Pizza and the 336 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: fruit shop. 337 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 3: Sometimes I wish Mum had fired me and the Laminating shop. 338 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 2: I wasn't fired from Woolworth's. I think I was fired 339 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 2: from the trolley pushing. How do you get fired as 340 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 2: a trolley pusher? You learn the value of money in that, 341 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 2: you learn what it is to work for a minimum wage, 342 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 2: and you discover how hard it is to save up 343 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 2: for that thing. Like Mom and Dad might say, yeah, look, 344 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 2: it's going to be tight, but we can We'll find 345 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 2: the money, we'll fix it up. But when you're as 346 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 2: a child, as a teenager, when you're like, I want 347 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 2: to do that thing. It's going to cost me two 348 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 2: hundred and fifty bucks. Oh my goodness, I have to 349 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 2: work for twenty five hours or eighteen hours or whatever 350 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 2: it is to get that. That's like three weeks or 351 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 2: four weeks or five weeks. That's a lot of work 352 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 2: to be able to get that thing. So it teaches 353 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 2: the value of money in some really great ways. But 354 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 2: I really think one of the most powerful things is 355 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 2: it just teaches you how the world works. Like if 356 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: you want something, you have to go and ask for it. 357 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 2: You've got to put yourself in the position for it. 358 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 2: You've got to create the space where this can happen. 359 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 2: So and you know what, you start to appreciate your 360 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 2: parents a whole lot more as well. I reckon, that's 361 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 2: a pretty good job to get a pretty good reason 362 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,480 Speaker 2: to get a job, because all of a sudden, you're like, Wow, 363 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: my parents worked really hard for me, and it's hard 364 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 2: to earn money, and it's hard to do all this stuff. 365 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 2: And wow, that holiday cost how much? Or that restaurant 366 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 2: meal that we decided to have as a special celebration 367 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 2: for the family that cost how much? I would have 368 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 2: to work a long time to do that. So lots 369 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 2: of advantages, a handful of disadvantages. The one that we 370 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 2: haven't talked about. I think it's good for mental health. 371 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 2: Kids are doing something purposeful, they're outside the house, they're 372 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 2: doing something that makes them connect with others, they're being 373 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 2: physically active. A lot of the stuff that you need 374 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 2: to be mentally healthy can be found in employment, even 375 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 2: as a teenager. 376 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 3: Now. 377 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 2: I know sometimes jobs can lead in the opposite direction 378 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 2: as well, let's acknowledge that. But there's a lot of advantages, 379 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 2: and that's my. 380 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 3: List well, I think it's a pretty comprehensive list. 381 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 2: So if you've got kids that aren't working, I reckon 382 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 2: send them out and get them into it. The Happy 383 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 2: Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rulan from Bridge Media, 384 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 2: with Craig Bruce as our executive producer. If you'd like 385 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 2: more info about making your family happy, please visit us 386 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 2: on our Facebook page, Doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families, or 387 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 2: at happy families dot com dot au.