Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh Sweety Pies today will be full of nonsense, but
Speaker 2: you'll enjoy it anyway. We've had a listener DM that's
Speaker 2: talking about how Australian men suck. This is a direct
Speaker 2: quote do not us was on us, but I might
Speaker 2: have said it in my time. I wouldn't say it
Speaker 2: in my time, I promised miss you already enjoy the potty.
Speaker 1: You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kita.
Speaker 2: Do you reckon that restaurants and pubs should be child free?
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: It's very interesting that we start this conversation with just
Speaker 2: a simple question because you might not notice about me,
Speaker 2: but I like children a lot.
Speaker 1: I like babies a lot. I like toddlers so much. Children.
Speaker 2: When you get to a back like the seven six
Speaker 2: to six to eighteen, bool don't really do it for me.
Speaker 2: But between zero even in the womb, from in the
Speaker 2: womb to about six, I'm obsessed with them. They're the
Speaker 2: most smart, creative, inquisitive, cerebral people to ever exist. The
Speaker 2: amount I can learn from having a conversation with a kid.
Speaker 2: And also I recognize that I'm a bad person around kid.
Speaker 2: I'm asking for consent. I'm assessing if they're comfortable, I'm
Speaker 2: being mindful of like the words I'm using, if they understand, like,
Speaker 2: it's just fantastic. And I still don't want kids in
Speaker 2: pubs and restaurants. I still don't want them around. I
Speaker 2: really feel like it's not just kids and adults. I
Speaker 2: feel like certain lifestyle like life milestones or the age
Speaker 2: group you were in, should be separate. I don't even
Speaker 2: think eighteen and thirty five year old.
Speaker 1: Should be in the same venue. It's weird.
Speaker 4: You disagree for me, Nah, I agree, it's weird.
Speaker 1: It's not great.
Speaker 2: We had a listener, dear must off the back of
Speaker 2: our discussion about Splendor. We both went and we both
Speaker 2: mused and marveled. I noticed the child population was hefty.
Speaker 2: I know, I don't have the stats, but I would
Speaker 2: say about fifty between thirty and fifty percent of the
Speaker 2: attendees were under the age of sixteen.
Speaker 3: No, babe, that's a gross overestimation. I'd say ten percent.
Speaker 2: And even ten is too many. Either way, it was
Speaker 2: too many kids for me to be noticing kids constantly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it wasn't one or two artists vip babies.
Speaker 4: In the back. We did have a bit of a ticker.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there were kids. I would look left, kids look right,
Speaker 2: kids look left, kids look right. Anyway, So Sally dmd
Speaker 2: us on flex and rooms ig and asked us to
Speaker 2: read this article from the Guardian. Leading quote is I
Speaker 2: don't come here to enjoy other people's children. So we've
Speaker 2: got Martin, who's the owner of the Whippet in a
Speaker 2: boutique child free restaurant in York, and he says, being
Speaker 2: in the industry thirty odd years and also out shopping
Speaker 2: out in public places, how parents view the responsibility of
Speaker 2: children and how that has changed is quite mind blowing.
Speaker 2: It feels as though the kids are now the responsibility
Speaker 2: of everybody all the time.
Speaker 1: Boyd continues.
Speaker 2: None of the demands were particularly outrageous at his child
Speaker 2: free place. But the sheer volt apple juice with water
Speaker 2: in it, baby chinos. Heat this up and not too much.
Speaker 2: Remove the mushrooms, the onion, the salt, the pepper. Then
Speaker 2: there was the glaring at people who swear, vape or
Speaker 2: give any other indication that they are an adult in
Speaker 2: a pub. And this is also interesting because last week
Speaker 2: we talked to a listener who was at a Lizo
Speaker 2: concept and he said that because it was an all
Speaker 2: ages concert. When he was in the mush, there were
Speaker 2: other parents policing what other attendees could or could not
Speaker 2: do in proximity to their kids. And this is this
Speaker 2: is a chill gig, this is an all ages mush.
Speaker 2: It's not crazy. And yet it's like, if you don't
Speaker 2: want someone vaping near your kid, move your kid. Facts like,
Speaker 2: are we not.
Speaker 1: At a gig?
Speaker 3: They're using their child as collateral to be parents. So ray,
Speaker 3: sorry to say it, but you are the real problem.
Speaker 2: When I say kids and adults shouldn't share the same spaces,
Speaker 2: I feel as though it sucks for the adults I
Speaker 2: have to be with the kids. They call them parents,
Speaker 2: you know, like it's not fair that they be ostracized
Speaker 2: from certain spaces because they have a kid. That's not
Speaker 2: fair and that's prejudicing the wrong reason. But it would
Speaker 2: make sense that venues be better equipped to handle children.
Speaker 2: And we understand, I mean a lot of restaurants understand
Speaker 2: their core demographics, a lot of pubs understand their core demographics.
Speaker 2: Why don't you create a system where it's not a
Speaker 2: blight on attendees to have children here.
Speaker 1: Exactly, a little crash, a little play area.
Speaker 4: Our celles do that kind of thing pretty well.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: McDonald's has the play.
Speaker 1: Area I had. Maybe do they still have them?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think we're just living in the inner city bybe Oh,
Speaker 4: we'll see.
Speaker 1: Do kids not live in the inner city?
Speaker 4: Hopefully not?
Speaker 1: Hello, love one.
Speaker 4: We had a.
Speaker 3: Listener DM and this is not what I said. But
Speaker 3: she wants to know you Australian men suck.
Speaker 1: We'll see this is okay through me wants to.
Speaker 2: Get ahead of the narrative if she doesn't want to
Speaker 2: cannibalize any of her future eligible options. So she needs
Speaker 2: you to know that she's not the one who's inferring
Speaker 2: that Australian men suck. Because I love she wants to
Speaker 2: be on the right side of history. However, I love
Speaker 2: all men, not all men.
Speaker 4: I love all of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we did get a DM from Eve.
Speaker 2: If you want a DM, if it's flex and frooms
Speaker 2: on Instagram voice mem I preferred. But if you're more
Speaker 2: of a text based specialist, then do that.
Speaker 3: She writes, Okay, flex and Frooms. I'm a longtime listener,
Speaker 3: first time messenger. I absolutely love you guys. I'm from
Speaker 3: the UK and moved to Australia last year. Oh oh,
Speaker 3: sent most of my time in Melbourne hoping to casually
Speaker 3: bump into one of you someday.
Speaker 4: I was wondering what your thoughts are on Australian men.
Speaker 4: This is a very terse topic.
Speaker 3: Myself and a couple of brit friends have found it
Speaker 3: so difficult to date due to perhaps a cultural difference
Speaker 3: in how men behave over here.
Speaker 4: For example, me and a friend had.
Speaker 3: The same experience of going back to a guy's house
Speaker 3: then them implying or expecting us to leave after seven
Speaker 3: and Ozzie girls who's spoken to say that's normal for
Speaker 3: them and what they want?
Speaker 1: Question mark?
Speaker 4: Question mark.
Speaker 3: The men give off such a nonchalant energy, oh my god,
Speaker 3: triggered no sense of interest or excitement. Just to clarify,
Speaker 3: I don't want to generalize, Thank you, queen. There are
Speaker 3: good guys out there, of course, and British guys are
Speaker 3: certainly not all angels. All right, love, have you had
Speaker 3: experiences with non Aussies and all right, love.
Speaker 1: My culture. Have you had.
Speaker 3: Experiences with some Aussies or non Aussies and have you
Speaker 3: seen a comparison.
Speaker 2: It's not often I would like to default to a
Speaker 2: man when asked a broad question to me. But I
Speaker 2: would love to have a census of this directed at
Speaker 2: Australian man to see what to see what the issue is,
Speaker 2: or to see what the contradiction is, because.
Speaker 4: Surely if you're a straight man, you're interested in a woman.
Speaker 3: Like like, no, I'm trying to say his, let her talk,
Speaker 3: let her cook?
Speaker 4: Why may he not acted interesting?
Speaker 1: Can I say a few things?
Speaker 2: And I I hate to paint everyone with a broad brushstroke.
Speaker 4: Yet here we are, But yet.
Speaker 2: Here we are this nonchalant energy that people are rightfully
Speaker 2: so claiming to have experienced with Australian men. I would say,
Speaker 2: Australians very nonchalant.
Speaker 4: And at what cost?
Speaker 1: And at what costs?
Speaker 2: And I think often what Australians are struggling with is
Speaker 2: you're getting a taste of your own medicine and you
Speaker 2: don't like it.
Speaker 3: I don't really have experience with non Australian men, having
Speaker 3: grown up and living in Australia.
Speaker 4: However, we have a special guest in the studio.
Speaker 1: That's true, me saying Australia is not multicultural.
Speaker 2: She's like I don't have an experience, but yes we
Speaker 2: do have someone who has dated in the wild.
Speaker 4: Yes, Sophie, So we welcome to the studio Kyoto team.
Speaker 5: Hi.
Speaker 2: Sophie does our social media In case you're wondering, what
Speaker 2: is this third sometimes fourth voice that pops oh yeah, often.
Speaker 4: Laughing in the background.
Speaker 6: Yes, no, Hi, I've just moved from New Zealand and
Speaker 6: experience I sing a little bit of this Australian dating culture.
Speaker 1: Tell us everything, you know.
Speaker 4: When I saw the.
Speaker 6: DM that came into the page about how Australian men
Speaker 6: and nonchalant, I could not agree more.
Speaker 1: They stuck? Can you put it politely?
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't want to get stuck on
Speaker 2: the term nonchalant because we might not all have the
Speaker 2: same meaning of it.
Speaker 1: But so if you had to pull that out, turn one.
Speaker 2: Word into forty five et agreat, what is the nonchalance
Speaker 2: you're experiencing?
Speaker 6: So I think with Australian men there just doesn't seem to.
Speaker 1: Be the care factor.
Speaker 6: And I don't know if this is because of the
Speaker 6: dating world in general, how there's just so many options.
Speaker 6: But I feel like you come to Australia, maybe you
Speaker 6: meet a guy, maybe it's on a dating app. Maybe
Speaker 6: it's out you go for a little drink and then
Speaker 6: there's just not They're like, you know what, i want
Speaker 6: to put in the effort here. I'm going to try
Speaker 6: a little bit harder. I want to I want to
Speaker 6: do the chase a little bit. They sit back and
Speaker 6: they go, yeah, it's fun, Like, see, maybe should we
Speaker 6: maybe do that? No, tell me what we're doing, want
Speaker 6: me like put in the f There was this guy
Speaker 6: I was talking to on a hinge. Yeah, no, okay,
Speaker 6: multiple roastings could occur, but we'll go with this one
Speaker 6: exchanged one or two messages. I replied to a message
Speaker 6: and he just goes cool, thumbs up, but hush, and
Speaker 6: he goes, well, I'm not here for a bloody pen pal.
Speaker 3: That's rowing.
Speaker 4: I am scarred. I'm not trying anymore.
Speaker 3: He said, listen, less talkie, more touchy.
Speaker 1: So okay.
Speaker 4: And is it different in New Zealand.
Speaker 6: I would say New Zealand is relatively similar to Australia.
Speaker 6: New Zealand there's almost more this lad culture, which I
Speaker 6: do see a little bit in New Zealand where all
Speaker 6: the lads sort of stick together.
Speaker 1: If a couple of the lads.
Speaker 6: In the group have girlfriends, then they all will have
Speaker 6: girlfriends at the same time. If one of the lads
Speaker 6: is like single and then a couple others become single,
Speaker 6: they're all single.
Speaker 4: They stick to each other.
Speaker 6: It's almost like, honestly, oh, solidarity, yes, go anywhere else
Speaker 6: in the world. Do you go up to Europe like
Speaker 6: you were saying, or in America and there's so much
Speaker 6: more forward in a bar that will come up to
Speaker 6: you and be like, hey, can I buy your drink?
Speaker 6: Neither once in Australia has anyone. Maybe this is just
Speaker 6: me ask me if I want a drink in a bar.
Speaker 1: The only time everyone's saying, don't tress.
Speaker 3: You're gonna say, the only time a drink's been bought
Speaker 3: for me when I was underage.
Speaker 1: It's not really are worried experience.
Speaker 2: I've experienced what you've experienced. But in my earlier stages
Speaker 2: of dating. I think it changed when I got older
Speaker 2: because I was just far less. I mean, we all
Speaker 2: have we have different energies in the room. I just
Speaker 2: feel like generally people already perceive me to be hard work,
Speaker 2: so nobody who's going to be nonchalant really is going
Speaker 2: to try and if they do, I'm like, it's not
Speaker 2: it was never going to be u king. It was
Speaker 2: never going to be you. So I think there's also
Speaker 2: that I feel like part of the Australian and biproxy
Speaker 2: and musical and charm is being really agreeable, really approachable,
Speaker 2: a good time, casual, down for a laugh, and I'm
Speaker 2: not giving off that energy in the same way I
Speaker 2: can be all of those things. So I think I'm
Speaker 2: being approached with a different energy. Let's like you're out
Speaker 2: in like an Australian bar or whatever, you know exactly
Speaker 2: what I'm talking about, where people are peacocking in this
Speaker 2: very like.
Speaker 1: I'm one of the girls. I'm one of the lines.
Speaker 5: I'm just so casual and lay back and I'm like,
Speaker 5: let's do a Sean and whatever and don't talk to
Speaker 5: anyone at any time and no topic is too lost
Speaker 5: bar for me, it's Australian cool girl pandemic and Australian
Speaker 5: cool boy pandemic. And if we don't know what that
Speaker 5: looks like, imagine being at a year five prom or
Speaker 5: formal and all the guys are to the left and
Speaker 5: all the girls are to the right, and when they
Speaker 5: eventually join forces pretend to be each other. They all
Speaker 5: kind of devolve into this like one archetype of person
Speaker 5: outside after nine pm, I love music, I love I
Speaker 5: love drinks, and then before you know it, it's two
Speaker 5: am and you start getting desperate, getting against.
Speaker 1: The issue with issue. Bye. You You're desperate and directionless.
Speaker 4: You have never in your life since very sure.
Speaker 1: In that closing statement.
Speaker 4: Flex and frims on Kidis.
Speaker 2: In case you thought the Internet has matured out of
Speaker 2: death hoaxes, you would be wrong. There's a has been
Speaker 2: some would say internet sensation. Lil Tay popped off around
Speaker 2: twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen. Her whole shtick was being
Speaker 2: a really rich, rude baller twelve year old would come
Speaker 2: on the internet, swear, throw money around, wear big jewelry,
Speaker 2: just a hard watch because you kind of like, don't
Speaker 2: say that word, babe, don't say that word, and we'll
Speaker 2: just start fighting the internet.
Speaker 1: That was the whole brand.
Speaker 4: So she kind of like cash me outside girl.
Speaker 2: Yes, baby antagonist, that's exactly it. And so she disappeared
Speaker 2: around twenty eighteen, went into obscurity. That's just kind of
Speaker 2: how it goes, and nobody ever thought about her because
Speaker 2: it was a blip in the radar of the Internet
Speaker 2: until she skyrocketed back to fame in about August twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three, when she was pronounced dead via Instagram. Yep,
Speaker 2: everyone's like, oh, that's so sad, like Lil Tait has died.
Speaker 2: Haven't heard anything about her for a little while.
Speaker 1: Strange.
Speaker 2: Immediately, people were skeptical because her kind of stick was
Speaker 2: a bit like troll ish. She was a troll on
Speaker 2: the Internet. People were kind of like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: just a ploy to garner some clicks and some interest
Speaker 2: for her big comeback. We get what's happening here, And
Speaker 2: so they noticed that the date in which they said
Speaker 2: she was born and died doesn't add up to her
Speaker 2: current age, so it was two years off, which was strange.
Speaker 2: Her family, like her brother and her parents hadn't come
Speaker 2: out and said anything to confirm whether or not she
Speaker 2: was dead. And then law enforcement was contacted and they said,
Speaker 2: we don't have anything on file for this person and
Speaker 2: being dead, so we don't know what's happening here. Anyway,
Speaker 2: the internet' sluse of the world went so far as
Speaker 2: to get meta as in mister Facebook involved to figure
Speaker 2: out if this minor had really died or not, or
Speaker 2: if this was just like fake news. One oh one,
Speaker 2: so Meta came out and said this otherwise dormant account
Speaker 2: had been hacked by someone was an inside job from
Speaker 2: her parents. People say, because they'd already they'd always been
Speaker 2: quite money hungry and were, you know, kind of like
Speaker 2: show parents from the side, pandering to the crowd potentially.
Speaker 2: But I say this all to say, it's been confirmed,
Speaker 2: Lil Tay is not dead, and we're thankful and grateful
Speaker 2: for that. But the bit that gets me is that
Speaker 2: this suspicious, critical, nosy way of the Internet is finally
Speaker 2: paying off for good. It confuses me how people saw
Speaker 2: this announcement of a death and immediately said no, something's
Speaker 2: off and they were right, hunch, because had the internet
Speaker 2: not have done the work of detail, how would she
Speaker 2: have indicated herself. How would she have proven into the
Speaker 2: world that she was not She didn't have access to
Speaker 2: her account, what she was going to make a new one?
Speaker 4: So where is she? Have we heard from it?
Speaker 2: She's online? Okay, she doesn't want to be online anymore.
Speaker 2: So it was part of the whole thing where she's like,
Speaker 2: she wasn't going to come on and defend herself. She
Speaker 2: didn't want to be exposed to people, so the Internet did.
Speaker 1: The work for her.
Speaker 4: How fantastic.
Speaker 1: So this is a good news story to begin with.
Speaker 4: Thank you, lil.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 4: Will take.
Speaker 2: I have said in my time, be careful who you
Speaker 2: date for fear of increasing their stock. I didn't know.
Speaker 2: It wasn't clear that I was speaking very plainly. I
Speaker 2: didn't hear the riddle in my tone what I mean
Speaker 2: by that? Everyone. And this is a cautionary tale, coming
Speaker 2: from someone who has quite positive dating experiences.
Speaker 1: I've seen many an.
Speaker 2: Eligible bachelor bachelorette go down for not heeding this morning. Well,
Speaker 2: we are all reflections of the people we keep closest
Speaker 2: to us, good, bad, neutral, and everything in between. And
Speaker 2: the more time you spend with someone, the more your
Speaker 2: characteristics merge, or at least the perception of your characteristics.
Speaker 2: Everyone thinks I'm funnier because rooms is a comedian.
Speaker 4: I don't want everyone things about me because I'm with you.
Speaker 1: They think you're a businesswoman than you think.
Speaker 4: Shugga shugga.
Speaker 2: But you know, like I can imagine people who maybe
Speaker 2: didn't like my personality now find me far more appealing
Speaker 2: because they like you a lot, or vice versa, right, Like, oh,
Speaker 2: what do they have in common? They must get along
Speaker 2: really well. I want to know more about vice or versa.
Speaker 2: It just happens in small ways. But where it happens
Speaker 2: a lot, and I notice myself catching myself is when
Speaker 2: I see a couple and I observe one to be
Speaker 2: of higher stock, higher quality, higher pedigree, higher caliber than
Speaker 2: their partner, I start to like apply positive characteristics to
Speaker 2: the partner based on what I know about the person
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 1: To be better.
Speaker 2: Right, So let's say I have a best friend and
Speaker 2: he's dating a bum. The more time these two day,
Speaker 2: I start to question my original perception. Oh well, maybe
Speaker 2: like he's actually quite nice, Maybe they're well suited, maybe this,
Speaker 2: maybe that, whatever it might be. The reason why I'm
Speaker 2: warning you is because a lot of people don't recognize
Speaker 2: the exchange when they're dating, the mental exchange, the physical exchange,
Speaker 2: the financial transaction, the emotional transaction, the spiritual transaction. And
Speaker 2: if you're not aware of that transaction happening, it's because
Speaker 2: you're being robbed.
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, it's because you're being.
Speaker 2: Robbed if you can't figure out what is the transaction
Speaker 2: between you and the person you're dating. And I'm not
Speaker 2: saying it has to be higher level. It might be
Speaker 2: with Frum and I. We get along really well, we
Speaker 2: work together really well. It's beneficial for us to share
Speaker 2: our stories to get to know each other better because
Speaker 2: it makes us better friends, better co host. There's a
Speaker 2: transaction happening. If you can't tell the transaction is you're
Speaker 2: being rubbed, babe. They are siphoning from you your energy,
Speaker 2: your clout, your empathy, your patience, your humor, your attractiveness.
Speaker 2: All of that is being siphoned.
Speaker 3: So is the example of that. Like, let's say you're
Speaker 3: dating someone who is like not showing up for you
Speaker 3: in the way that you want, but you're just with
Speaker 3: them because you want company.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Or for example, you might be in a relationship
Speaker 2: with someone where you're kind of like, gosh, like you
Speaker 2: know what, they're just like not the best, Like I
Speaker 2: can't really rely on them.
Speaker 1: But gosh they're hot. Oh gosh, they're hot.
Speaker 2: But then you have to think to yourself, if they're
Speaker 2: not showing up for you and you can't rely on them,
Speaker 2: are you reliable? Is that what they're siphoning from you?
Speaker 2: Are you consistent. Have you opened up their social network
Speaker 2: and given them seventeen new friends they didn't have before?
Speaker 2: Are you always paying for dinner?
Speaker 1: Oh? There it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm not saying be tit for tat.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, be aware of the transaction so you
Speaker 2: can be grateful for what is happening, so you can
Speaker 2: truly appreciate.
Speaker 1: Gosh, this person.
Speaker 2: I respect want to spend their time with me, They
Speaker 2: want to talk to me, they want to share me
Speaker 2: with their friends. But if that's not happening, babes, sumthe's ofs.
Speaker 2: Beware the person you date for you could be what.
Speaker 4: Boosting their stock.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 3: For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.