Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order, Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on
Speaker 2: the Money.
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 3: Millennials who want Financial Freedom. We are two weeks into
Speaker 3: the new year, which means I don't know about everybody else,
Speaker 3: but I'm thinking hot and hard about my goals. Last
Speaker 3: week we spoke all about setting up your investment goals
Speaker 3: for the year, but this week I wanted to get
Speaker 3: a little bit more personal because Victoria and I are
Speaker 3: both super goal oriented people. Speaking which Victoria, I haven't
Speaker 3: even said hello to you yet.
Speaker 2: Hello, thanks for having me on your show.
Speaker 3: Jescah, You're welcome anytime.
Speaker 2: I feel like this episode is a goodie because I
Speaker 2: talked to so many people about goal setting and I
Speaker 2: love a good goal. You love a good goal, but
Speaker 2: they're not always that achievable for other people, right, Like,
Speaker 2: goals are not something that absolutely everybody resonates with, which
Speaker 2: is why today we're talking about intentions, because sometimes intentions
Speaker 2: are just a softer way of setting yourself up for
Speaker 2: a really successful year without having the overlying pressure of
Speaker 2: a specific goal. Yep. It's also one of those things
Speaker 2: where sometimes you just can't think of a goal. You're like,
Speaker 2: I just I don't have anything right now, Victoria. My
Speaker 2: life's at a place where it's just not you know,
Speaker 2: working to set them. And I think that this content
Speaker 2: is one for you guys who are setting goals and
Speaker 2: are really excited about it and also want to overlay
Speaker 2: an intention, because to Jess and I this is really important.
Speaker 2: But also if you're not a goal setting kind of
Speaker 2: goal maybe you can set an intention and pick a
Speaker 2: word of the year and be a little bit more
Speaker 2: intentional about things without the added pressure of having a
Speaker 2: really structured list of goals. So we'll kind of touch
Speaker 2: on both today.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely something that I did this time last year.
Speaker 3: If anyone follows me on Instagram, is I spoke about
Speaker 3: how I picked a word for the ya like you
Speaker 3: just mentioned. And it was really fun because I got
Speaker 3: to put up a question box and I asked everyone
Speaker 3: to kind of if they did the same thing or
Speaker 3: if they wanted to do the same thing, to share
Speaker 3: that word with me. And it was one very inspirational
Speaker 3: I got a list of words that I really really liked,
Speaker 3: and I actually picked my word for this year from
Speaker 3: that list.
Speaker 2: Us. So you used the community to pick your intentions,
Speaker 2: so you didn't even set your own. You stole someone else's.
Speaker 3: I copied their test, I'm on. But I really enjoyed
Speaker 3: it because picking a word for the year really helped
Speaker 3: me to kind of ground myself when I was making decisions.
Speaker 3: So last year, people suggested things like gracious or purpose
Speaker 3: or heal or serene, and I ended up going with growth,
Speaker 3: And every time I was making a choice or every
Speaker 3: time I wasn't sure what to do, I would kind
Speaker 3: of come back to that word and go, are the
Speaker 3: growth option? Yeah? Are the decisions that I'm making helping
Speaker 3: me to grow in some way? And that kind of
Speaker 3: I picked a word because I wanted it to apply
Speaker 3: across the board, like personally and professionally, in my career,
Speaker 3: in my social life, in all different aspects. I wanted
Speaker 3: to grow and develop, and I felt like having that
Speaker 3: word really centered me when I was trying to make
Speaker 3: those tougher choices. Did you do something similar?
Speaker 2: Yeah, as you guys know, that is something that I
Speaker 2: have done for the last few years and absolutely adored it.
Speaker 2: It's evading me literally right now what my word was
Speaker 2: because I feel like I've just spent so long picking
Speaker 2: the word that is going to be twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: So I'm a little bit embarrassed to say that. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's where I'm at. Jess, all right, well tell me
Speaker 2: about twenty twenty three. What word have you picked? So
Speaker 2: I have spent a very long time picking this, and
Speaker 2: I feel like it makes a bit more sense if
Speaker 2: I give you a little bit of context. So obviously,
Speaker 2: last year I had a really big year, really big.
Speaker 2: I launched a book, I did a whole heap of
Speaker 2: pr I was working my butt off. We bought a
Speaker 2: mortgage broking firm. We started a collaboration between Kate and
Speaker 2: I to run Zella Money which was obviously in the background,
Speaker 2: far bigger than I guess what you guys see on
Speaker 2: social media. I got married, I went on a honeymoon,
Speaker 2: I did a europe trip like I had it coming
Speaker 2: out my ears. But during that period of time, I
Speaker 2: also wasn't being my best self in a way. I
Speaker 2: wasn't putting myself in a position where I was still
Speaker 2: putting myself out there even though you guys see that.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of things I wanted to do
Speaker 2: that I wasn't doing. So I wanted to do more
Speaker 2: video content, but I wasn't comfortable enough to do it.
Speaker 2: I couldn't find a way to, you know, find the
Speaker 2: theme that I wanted to talk about. I'd like scroll
Speaker 2: through TikTok and be like, oh my gosh, I feel
Speaker 2: like I could have such an impact in this space,
Speaker 2: but I haven't done it yet. So I feel like
Speaker 2: giving you that context that as much as I did
Speaker 2: achieve a lot of shiny things, that's not really what
Speaker 2: I wanted for this year. I think it's about being
Speaker 2: gritty for me. So I feel like somebody who is
Speaker 2: gritty is someone who if they get knocked down, they
Speaker 2: just get back up and try and try again. They're
Speaker 2: not the type of person that are, you know, worried
Speaker 2: about what other people thinks, because they've got grit and
Speaker 2: they've got substance and they are actually the type of
Speaker 2: person that will just go for it. And I feel
Speaker 2: like I haven't been that person. I mean, it sounds
Speaker 2: like I have, please don't get me wrong. Like I mean,
Speaker 2: a book is really impressive, please don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2: But also i'd written one before, so it felt like
Speaker 2: a really safe option. It felt really comfortable for me
Speaker 2: to do that because I kind of knew what I
Speaker 2: was going to get. And this year, I really want
Speaker 2: to try new things, but I don't want it to
Speaker 2: be like new things. So I have chosen the word
Speaker 2: grit this year, And so for me, it's about being
Speaker 2: a bit more gritty and being who I want to
Speaker 2: be and showing up as me on every platform that
Speaker 2: I have and in person as the person that I
Speaker 2: want to be, not necessarily the person that other people
Speaker 2: expect me to be, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3: I love that. That's a really good word and it
Speaker 3: kind of like leans a similar path to mine as well.
Speaker 3: Last year I chose growth, which I feel like served
Speaker 3: me very well and for twenty twenty three, I have
Speaker 3: chosen the word assertive. People who know me personally and
Speaker 3: you would be the perfect example know that I'm a
Speaker 3: little bit more introverted and a little bit more shy.
Speaker 3: I always describe myself as a bit of a doormat,
Speaker 3: and I really want to work on that for twenty
Speaker 3: twenty three. In I guess my social life because I'm
Speaker 3: always that friend who will like.
Speaker 2: To be like professional Jess, real assertive part of any
Speaker 2: of our clients listening to this, it can be like
Speaker 2: Jess a doormat.
Speaker 3: Oh nah.
Speaker 2: But like when you said personal life, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: that makes sense because professional me and personal me they're
Speaker 2: different people. So that makes sends for you as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I want to apply it across the board.
Speaker 3: It's not just socially, but I think that really focusing
Speaker 3: on being confident in what I believe in or confident
Speaker 3: in what I think is right and wrong, and not
Speaker 3: necessarily defaulting to agreeing with people because it's the easy option.
Speaker 3: I do not like conflict, and more often than not,
Speaker 3: I find myself playing the peacekeeping role. And while there's
Speaker 3: definitely something to be said for that, because I'm sure
Speaker 3: a lot of people are listening to me saying this,
Speaker 3: being like I'm a peacekeeper, Like I feel like that's
Speaker 3: a good thing, and it absolutely is. I can be
Speaker 3: it can be for sure. I think it's gotten to
Speaker 3: a point though, where I'm not making choices or I'm
Speaker 3: not doing things that would make me happiest because I'm
Speaker 3: trying to avoid conflict. And so, just like everybody else,
Speaker 3: I know that my thoughts in my opinions are valid,
Speaker 3: and I think that they're good a lot of the time,
Speaker 3: and I just want to be more confident and comfortable
Speaker 3: sharing those with people in like all different settings.
Speaker 2: I totally agree with that. And as much as you say, oh,
Speaker 2: it can be good, it's actually a really big emotional
Speaker 2: burden to carry to be the one that's always trying
Speaker 2: to keep peace with everybody else, because it's like you're
Speaker 2: trying to take both sides of the story and weigh
Speaker 2: on that and carry that and feel as though maybe
Speaker 2: that's Yeah. I just feel like that's a really big
Speaker 2: burden to carry and it's not actually your responsibility. But
Speaker 2: today we're going to actually put a thread in our
Speaker 2: Facebook group because I actually want to hear exactly what
Speaker 2: you guys are up to and what your intentions are
Speaker 2: and what you're picking and what you maybe have picked before,
Speaker 2: and like maybe if you're a little bit stumped, maybe
Speaker 2: put some comments in there that are like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: So I can't really pick a word, but these are
Speaker 2: the types of things that I want to go for,
Speaker 2: and we can all help each other find our intention
Speaker 2: words for this year. I'm looking forward to picking next
Speaker 2: year's year from this list, just like screenshot and save
Speaker 2: them so that we don't have to do the hard
Speaker 2: work next year. I think that's really clear.
Speaker 3: Let's get into setting intentions for the year, because I
Speaker 3: feel like not everybody wants to necessarily set a goal
Speaker 3: it might feel a little bit overwhelming, where intentions are
Speaker 3: a little bit easier to approach. Where can we begin
Speaker 3: with that?
Speaker 2: All right, So first let's define what an intention is,
Speaker 2: because it's something that I feel like a lot of
Speaker 2: our community engage with without realizing. It's kind of like
Speaker 2: a little bit subconscious, but we can actually be really
Speaker 2: intentional with our intentions. So essentially, an intention, JESS is
Speaker 2: more of a like how to for making your life better,
Speaker 2: for making your life the way you want it to be.
Speaker 2: For being in a mindset more consistently that you enjoy
Speaker 2: and to keep yourself accountable for that process. So while
Speaker 2: a resolution, I feel like at the start of this year,
Speaker 2: everyone's been talking about New Year and num like, let's
Speaker 2: set resolutions for the new year. I'm not gonna. I
Speaker 2: am gonna like. I just feel like that tethers you
Speaker 2: to the future with absolutely no clear path forward. That
Speaker 2: it puts you on a trajectory where you're like, I
Speaker 2: am going to go to the gym every day, Like okay, great.
Speaker 2: If we change that from a resolution to more of
Speaker 2: an intention, you could say, I want to be more healthy.
Speaker 2: I want to make healthier decisions this year. So even
Speaker 2: if you don't go to the gym every day, we
Speaker 2: haven't failed that quote goal. We haven't failed that intention.
Speaker 2: So I think it's more about, well, why do you
Speaker 2: want to go to the gym every ye day? And
Speaker 2: as you know, she's on the money, we're all about
Speaker 2: the deep lying issue rather than just like surface level things.
Speaker 2: I want you to dig a little bit deeper. And
Speaker 2: you know, I use gym as a good example because
Speaker 2: I feel like it's the most stereotypical one. I don't
Speaker 2: think people should go to the gym every dayes you
Speaker 2: can jump literally in any type of lake if you
Speaker 2: think that I am going to ever be the type
Speaker 2: of person that does that. But I have been guilty
Speaker 2: historically of setting a goal like that because I think
Speaker 2: that's what's going to create me into this person that
Speaker 2: I want to become, when in reality, I just want
Speaker 2: to be a little bit more holistic. I want to
Speaker 2: be a little bit healthier, and I want to consistently
Speaker 2: make healthier decisions. So from my perspective, I think that
Speaker 2: by setting an intention, you're taking the pressure off yourself
Speaker 2: as opposed to a resolution that I think is quite bound.
Speaker 2: So for me, I think that this is less black
Speaker 2: and white, less do or die, and more Hey, this
Speaker 2: is like the flow of where I would like to go,
Speaker 2: and I can make decisions along the way that aligned
Speaker 2: to that, because sometimes you just need to stay in
Speaker 2: bed and you need to look after yourself, and you
Speaker 2: might go oh far out, Like my intention was to
Speaker 2: make healthier decisions. Oh, I'm feeling pretty flat today. The
Speaker 2: healthy decision here is to give myself more rest. Whereas
Speaker 2: if you had chosen to go to the gym every
Speaker 2: single day and that was your resolution that might not
Speaker 2: actually be the best holistic decision for you.
Speaker 3: All right, sounds incredible. Sign me up, I'm ready to go.
Speaker 3: How do I even begin about figuring out what intention
Speaker 3: they want to set?
Speaker 2: I feel like you've already done it. You've set your intention,
Speaker 2: you've set your goal word. You'd be all over this.
Speaker 2: But what I come equipped with that you didn't come
Speaker 2: equipped with today, Jess is a laundry list.
Speaker 3: I love a list.
Speaker 2: We love lists, not so much laundry. But I think
Speaker 2: it's important to actually start working out. Let's ma recondo
Speaker 2: this a little bit. We did an episode a little
Speaker 2: while ago or maricondoing your Finances, which I'd recommend going
Speaker 2: back to. But find what sparks joy, Find the things
Speaker 2: that make you really happy. Have you heard of the
Speaker 2: law of attraction? Yes, it says that by focusing on
Speaker 2: the things that spark joy, you attract more of it.
Speaker 2: So if we focus on the things that we are
Speaker 2: really excited about, more of them are going to happen,
Speaker 2: and you're going to bring more positive experience into your
Speaker 2: life and actually put yourself in a better position. And
Speaker 2: my favorite example of this is really lame. Are you ready?
Speaker 2: My favorite analogy of this is actually an inside joke
Speaker 2: that I'm going to share with you guys that I
Speaker 2: have with a Milinadi who you guys might know from
Speaker 2: the Property Playbook with Jazz, and it's a yellow Honda Jazz,
Speaker 2: very specific, it is, right, but they're like niche cars, right,
Speaker 2: Like when have you seen or you would have seen
Speaker 2: a bright yellow Honda Jazz, but they are so much
Speaker 2: more common when you're looking for them. And Amy and
Speaker 2: I have this entire text message thread of me taking
Speaker 2: a photo of every single Honda Jazz that is yellow
Speaker 2: that I see and her doing the same, and it's
Speaker 2: just like we might not have talked for a few days,
Speaker 2: but then I'll send her a picture of a Honda
Speaker 2: Jazz and she'd be like, what a beast? That is
Speaker 2: a nice car because I just don't understand that color.
Speaker 2: Do you want to be a mini taxi? Like I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't get it, but it is a car that
Speaker 2: before we started this little trend together, I was like,
Speaker 2: they're never around, like I've.
Speaker 3: I've ever seen one?
Speaker 2: You have?
Speaker 3: You actually have?
Speaker 2: You just haven't noticed it. And the reason I'm giving
Speaker 2: you this analogy is because now Jess you're going to
Speaker 2: go home, You're probably going to drive past one. You'd
Speaker 2: be like, oh, yellow Honda Jazz. But the important thing
Speaker 2: about that is actually law of attraction. You are looking
Speaker 2: for it and you find what you are looking for.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like, you know how you talk about
Speaker 2: manifestation a lot, and this is really aligned to you know,
Speaker 2: something that you're about. It's kind of like, if you're
Speaker 2: looking for something, you're more likely to manifest it. And
Speaker 2: I guess that's where the law of attraction kind of
Speaker 2: comes from, because you're trying to attract something, and it's
Speaker 2: so much easier to attract something you can see or
Speaker 2: something you're fully looking for. It's kind of like when
Speaker 2: you go to the pantry and you're looking for a
Speaker 2: snack but you're not really sure what you want and
Speaker 2: how it works, you're probably likely to not notice something
Speaker 2: that you would have been interested in. And then later
Speaker 2: I'm on the couch with Steve and he walks in
Speaker 2: with a packet of tim Times or something. I'm like,
Speaker 2: what the hell, where'd you get that from? He says, Oh,
Speaker 2: they were just in the pantry. I didn't see them
Speaker 2: because I wasn't looking for them. Specifically. So I think
Speaker 2: if you work out what brings you joy and happiness
Speaker 2: and what gives you purpose, honestly, you're going to be
Speaker 2: able to bring more of that into your life and
Speaker 2: spark more of that joy more consistently because you're actually
Speaker 2: really clear on what you're looking for. So whether that
Speaker 2: is in your relationships or in your workplace, or it
Speaker 2: is a dress that you really really want, you're more
Speaker 2: likely to find it if that's what you're looking for.
Speaker 2: So I think it's really about not just saying, oh,
Speaker 2: here's this goal. It's like, well, what do I like?
Speaker 2: Do I really like being healthy?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: I'm more likely to see healthy options. Do I really
Speaker 2: want better friends? You're more likely to see traits in
Speaker 2: people that you're really attracted to. So I think it's
Speaker 2: about actually finding those things being aware of them. So
Speaker 2: when we start looking like we're looking for yellow Honda
Speaker 2: jazz is, honestly start blowing up my inbox with the
Speaker 2: yellow Honda Jazz. I promise they are everywhere. Also, really
Speaker 2: sorry if you drive a Honda Jazz and people start
Speaker 2: taking photos of your car and you're a bit confused,
Speaker 2: because that's me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I really like mood boards is because
Speaker 3: I feel like when you can visually see something, it's
Speaker 3: like that reminder of like what you want. And I
Speaker 3: feel like unless you want a specific item, like if
Speaker 3: you want a schnellbag, like that's on my mood board
Speaker 3: and you had Paris on your mood board last year,
Speaker 3: and we will yeah, and we went. But it's one
Speaker 3: of those things that if it's visual, you're more likely
Speaker 3: to achieve it. And it's not true like I don't know,
Speaker 3: I'm a bit of a manifestation skeptic.
Speaker 2: I'm all about it. But the reason I'm all about
Speaker 2: manifestation is because I genuinely believe that if you start
Speaker 2: looking for something, you will find it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that can be more abstract in concept as well.
Speaker 3: It's kind of where I was going with that, because
Speaker 3: you might not be able to find a photo of
Speaker 3: wanting to be kinder, like how do you sum that
Speaker 3: up in a photo? But I think if you build
Speaker 3: out that life that you want and those things, and
Speaker 3: maybe something reminds you have kindness or reminds you of
Speaker 3: balance or whatever.
Speaker 2: Can we do a mood board workshop.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that would be so cool.
Speaker 2: I don't know if she's on the money. People want
Speaker 2: to do it, but I want to do it with
Speaker 2: the team, and I think that you're right. It's hard
Speaker 2: to visualize that, but you can put words on your
Speaker 2: mood board, like you've got words on your mood board.
Speaker 2: Last year you had the word growth on your mood board,
Speaker 2: and I feel like you could write it in a cool,
Speaker 2: fond stick it front of mind, like kind great, chuck
Speaker 2: that on your mood board, like a picture of someone
Speaker 2: laughing and being happy. Maybe that's what you're looking for.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I know, like, let's talk about this after
Speaker 2: the episode. I want to do a mood board sash.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, sounds fun. What is the second thing
Speaker 3: that we can do to help us on our road
Speaker 3: to setting great intentions?
Speaker 2: All right, so again I'm a little bit fluffy. We're
Speaker 2: going to set a mantra, Jess. So I am very
Speaker 2: big in the space of positive affirmations and what you
Speaker 2: tell yourself you become. So if you think you are awful,
Speaker 2: and your internal narrative is always that you are awful,
Speaker 2: you are always going to feel awful. But if we
Speaker 2: start coming up with mantras that are aligned to the
Speaker 2: goal that we are setting you are more likely to
Speaker 2: achieve that goal. So we want to make sure that
Speaker 2: our mantra isn't just like a random one that just
Speaker 2: sounds good. It's actually a mantra that you can say
Speaker 2: either when you're meditating in the mornings or taking five
Speaker 2: minutes or I do them when I'm curling my hair
Speaker 2: because I have to use both hands and so therefore
Speaker 2: can't play on my phone, can't do anything else, have
Speaker 2: a whole heap of time with myself that I need
Speaker 2: to use. But it's basically a daily self care practice
Speaker 2: that I, you know, put into force to remind myself,
Speaker 2: like I am happy, I'm healthy, I am kind And
Speaker 2: those are the things that I want to be consistently,
Speaker 2: and I want to remind myself of that, like I
Speaker 2: am so grateful that I have a body that works
Speaker 2: for me. And these things come from my history with eating,
Speaker 2: my history with not being the kindest to myself, with
Speaker 2: not being the person that I want to show up with.
Speaker 2: I think that we can set mantras that become the reality.
Speaker 2: So in my financial mantra, it could be a mantra
Speaker 2: that is, I am great at budgeting, I am great
Speaker 2: at finance, I am great at setting goals, and even
Speaker 2: if you're not, you can start. If you tell yourself
Speaker 2: enough times, you'll become that because you'll start believing that.
Speaker 2: So if you can consistently remind yourself and your body
Speaker 2: that you are good at something, you can actually change
Speaker 2: your entire perception around what that looks like. Even if
Speaker 2: historically you've not been good at budgeting, even if historically
Speaker 2: you've never actually reached a savings goal like you keep
Speaker 2: it front of mind and it absolutely will happen.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: On that note, I would like everybody to know that
Speaker 3: I am really wealthy, because that's what I would like
Speaker 3: to attract into my YEAH this year.
Speaker 2: But I love that though, but everyone can do that.
Speaker 2: I'm healthy, wealthy, and kind incredible.
Speaker 3: Let's go to a really quick break because when we
Speaker 3: come back, I want to hear more about how I
Speaker 3: make my dream life a reality. You don't go anywhere.
Speaker 3: Welcome back everybody. Today we are talking all about setting
Speaker 3: intentions for the new YEAH. Because I feel like we've
Speaker 3: all got that positive vibe right now. New Yeah knew me.
Speaker 3: I'm ready for it to be a good one. In
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three, nothing's going to stand in my way, Victoria,
Speaker 3: what is the next step I can take to make
Speaker 3: that happen.
Speaker 2: We are going to be so wildly optimistic that it
Speaker 2: will make you sick.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 2: I'm probably not. You won't love that, but that's all right.
Speaker 2: But we are going to be optimistic. We are going
Speaker 2: to be positive because too many times we keep telling
Speaker 2: ourselves that they're I don't want to do this, I
Speaker 2: don't need to do this, or like, oh I have
Speaker 2: to do this. Like we get into this negative mind
Speaker 2: frame where I just want to be healthier. Oh I
Speaker 2: have to eat a healthy meal. No, baby, you get
Speaker 2: to eat a healthy meal. We are going to change
Speaker 2: the narrative around the stories that we tell ourselves to
Speaker 2: make them more positive. And it would be crazy how
Speaker 2: many times a day you talk to yourself in a
Speaker 2: negative way without noticing it. So it's not oh, I
Speaker 2: don't want to do that. It's not aligned to my
Speaker 2: goals right now, So friend invites you out and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't really want to do that. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's not aligned to my goals. It's not aligned to
Speaker 2: my values, or it's not aligned to my budget. It's
Speaker 2: not a negative thing, not I don't want to, which
Speaker 2: can innately feel very very negative. Instead of saying that
Speaker 2: you're not going to live in fear, you'll just be like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to trust things more freely this year. So
Speaker 2: changing the narrative around the way we speak to ourselves
Speaker 2: is really important. But it's also one of those things
Speaker 2: that it will put you back in control and you
Speaker 2: are far more likely to achieve far more things. Because
Speaker 2: I hate that I do this so often, and the
Speaker 2: thing that I do so often that I don't like
Speaker 2: is compare budgeting with diets. But I feel like it's
Speaker 2: really relatable.
Speaker 1: Jess.
Speaker 2: If you ever put yourself on a diet once or twice, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm really good at it. I'm not proud of that,
Speaker 2: but I used to do it all the time. The
Speaker 2: first thing that you do when you put yourself on
Speaker 2: a diet is like, oh, I can't have that. Why
Speaker 2: do we focus on what we can't have as opposed
Speaker 2: to what we can have instead of focusing on the
Speaker 2: things that are being taken away from us When we're
Speaker 2: setting a budget, why aren't we focusing on the big
Speaker 2: goal of like, oh my gosh, I've just taken coffee
Speaker 2: off myself. I can't have a coffee. I'm budgeting. That's negative.
Speaker 2: That's not just saying something negative. It's making you feel
Speaker 2: like you are suffering from the decision that you have made.
Speaker 2: Instead of going like, oh, I'm not gonna do that
Speaker 2: because I am saving for a car, a house, I
Speaker 2: am saving my emergency fund, I'm doing something far greater.
Speaker 2: It's not I can't do that or I don't get
Speaker 2: to do that. It's like I get to do something different.
Speaker 2: I get to put myself in a different position. So
Speaker 2: I think it's really around changing our mindset from always
Speaker 2: immediately being negative. And I guess this is why when
Speaker 2: we talk about diets it makes a little bit more
Speaker 2: sense because the second you tell me, Victoria, you have
Speaker 2: to go on a diet, I'll be like, so you
Speaker 2: can't cant eat macas chips, I can't have coke. I've
Speaker 2: gotta have tight coke, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: you start thinking about the things that aren't really able
Speaker 2: to be oxcessed right now, instead of being like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: what can I have? What are the delicious options that
Speaker 2: you know really align with my values so that you
Speaker 2: could be excited about it. So keeping positive and keeping
Speaker 2: optimistic is actually going to mean that you're one again
Speaker 2: more likely to achieve this goal. But how much healthier
Speaker 2: are you all going to be if we start really
Speaker 2: focusing on the positive instead of focusing on what we're
Speaker 2: missing out on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I have to as a like
Speaker 3: nice little byproduct would make you just feel good, because
Speaker 3: like feeling sad or like you're missing out on something
Speaker 3: just isn't a good feeling in general, so as switching
Speaker 3: that mindset might have a nice little flow on impact
Speaker 3: of making you feel just better in general as well,
Speaker 3: which is nice.
Speaker 2: And I feel like there's this underlying narrative of this
Speaker 2: episode that is kind of about positive self talk and
Speaker 2: actually putting yourself in the best possible position by starting
Speaker 2: with yourself. And that's not an accident. That's absolutely something
Speaker 2: that I truly believe in, and it's really about starting
Speaker 2: with yourself. I saw an Instagram quote the other day,
Speaker 2: and obviously Instagram quotes the most legitimate jess and it
Speaker 2: said try saying nothing negative about yourself for one day,
Speaker 2: and then one week, and then one month and then
Speaker 2: one year. And I feel like that was a really
Speaker 2: good quote that resonated with me because you can't immediately
Speaker 2: just not be a negative person. And I'm not saying
Speaker 2: that everybody in our community is a negative person, but
Speaker 2: I'm guilty of this too. Instead of focusing on a
Speaker 2: part of my body or a part of me that
Speaker 2: I don't particularly like, I should really focus on the
Speaker 2: things that I am grateful for, Like I am happy,
Speaker 2: I am healthy, Like I am in a very privileged
Speaker 2: position at this point in my life. And I think
Speaker 2: that I need to focus on those things instead of
Speaker 2: always highlighting the negative things about myself. And we can
Speaker 2: all do that, we can all shift our mindset. But
Speaker 2: the more positive you are, what's your life change? Literally
Speaker 2: from day one to one week, to one month to
Speaker 2: one year, like your entire life will shift, and you
Speaker 2: will become that glowy, happy person that everyone gravitates towards
Speaker 2: because they can't help, but wonder, like, how is just
Speaker 2: just so happy and healthy and glowy and accepting? Honestly,
Speaker 2: It'll change your life. Oh my god, that sounds like
Speaker 2: the dream. Sign me up for that one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: I believe you might have one more thing on your
Speaker 2: cheeky little laundry list for me, I do. There is
Speaker 2: one more hot tip you're gonna like this one. It's
Speaker 2: recruit your friends. I'm not going to do this on
Speaker 2: my own. I'm not gonna be positive well negative Nancy
Speaker 2: across the tables. Being negative Nancy. That makes my life
Speaker 2: way too hard. And I am in a position where
Speaker 2: I want everything to be as easy as possible. I
Speaker 2: want to be positive, but I also want to share
Speaker 2: it with friends, and I feel like it's a really
Speaker 2: good piece of reflection. Time to go, all right? Do
Speaker 2: I have friends that support me? Do I have friends
Speaker 2: that support my financial goals and my life goals? If
Speaker 2: I'm planning on saving for a car, like why don't
Speaker 2: I share that with my friends? If I'm saving up
Speaker 2: for my emergency funds like Jess. I know if I
Speaker 2: said to you, oh, I'm gonna save my emergency, you'd
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, queen, let's do it. What's your plan?
Speaker 2: What's your goal? How do we do this? You know,
Speaker 2: come to my place, I'll make you a hot chocky
Speaker 2: and we'll make a plan for it. Like I want
Speaker 2: that type of friend in my life. I don't want
Speaker 2: that type of friend that's like, oh, so does this
Speaker 2: mean you can't go out for breakfast next Saturday. Oh
Speaker 2: the worst, literally the worst, Like I don't want that
Speaker 2: negativity in my life. So not only are we sharing
Speaker 2: things because if we share our accountabilities, it's more likely
Speaker 2: that we're going to be held accountable, but also can
Speaker 2: we find friends or mentors that are gonna have our
Speaker 2: backs during this process? Like I know I'm not the
Speaker 2: only one that has negative self talk? So Jess, why
Speaker 2: don't you and I go all right, if I hear
Speaker 2: you say one negative thing about you, I'm gonna slap
Speaker 2: you silly and tell you to stop doing that. Does
Speaker 2: that make sense? I think that we need to keep
Speaker 2: ourselves accountable but also question it, and I think that
Speaker 2: you need to actually give someone permission to do that. Right,
Speaker 2: So if I said, Jess, I'm trying to save this year.
Speaker 2: I want to save ten thousand dollars, Like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: finding it really hard. Can you help keep me accountable? Well,
Speaker 2: that's you giving that person permission to kind of question you, like, Oh, Jess,
Speaker 2: like I know that we did XYZ and you know
Speaker 2: we've got this party coming up? Like do you really
Speaker 2: need the new dress? Oh no, I don't. Like, let's
Speaker 2: have a chat about staying accountable. But if I hadn't
Speaker 2: been given permission to do kind of inappropriate of my
Speaker 2: friend to be like questioning your purchase here. Yeah, like
Speaker 2: that's really weird. Yeah, it's a bit weird and it's
Speaker 2: a bit rude, and it's none of their business. But
Speaker 2: if I said to you, Jess, oh, I'm really really trying,
Speaker 2: can you please help me stay accountable, I'm alright with
Speaker 2: you giving me the feedback, and I might be like, oh, yes,
Speaker 2: I budgeted for this, don't worry, and you could be like, great,
Speaker 2: no worries, or it might be a little bit of
Speaker 2: a reflection to remind me of my bigger goal that
Speaker 2: I'm way more excited about the new new dress for
Speaker 2: the weekend.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I really like that. I feel like there's strength
Speaker 3: in numbers, and especially if you have a friend who's
Speaker 3: wanting to do the same thing, you can help each
Speaker 3: other out and keep each other accountable, and it's just
Speaker 3: a really nice way to do things when you're not
Speaker 3: doing them alone.
Speaker 2: I love it. Last point before we go, because I
Speaker 2: know we're trying to wrap it up, is let's go.
Speaker 2: Let's do it. We mentioned earlier this episode that we're
Speaker 2: going to put a thread in a Facebook group about
Speaker 2: setting your word for the year. Let's talk about intentions.
Speaker 2: I want to know yours. I want to know your
Speaker 2: word of the year because maybe it's better than mine
Speaker 2: and I should swap. But I really want to start
Speaker 2: this conversation because off and we struggle with this step
Speaker 2: and often we struggle with finding our niche and finding
Speaker 2: our group of people that are going to really support us.
Speaker 2: Jess It's guaranteed She's on the Money community is going
Speaker 2: to support you.
Speaker 3: So share it there absolutely, And if you're not in
Speaker 3: that Facebook group, please come and join us as over
Speaker 3: two hundred and what is its sixty thousand people joking
Speaker 3: search She's on the Money to find us. And if
Speaker 3: Facebook's not your thing, we're on Instagram as well, where
Speaker 3: it's She's on the Money aus. If you enjoyed the episode,
Speaker 3: we would so appreciate it if you would leave us
Speaker 3: a review. We would love to kick the year off
Speaker 3: with some nice, little positive affirmations of our own and
Speaker 3: that seems like a fun way to do it.
Speaker 2: But I add a ten idea, Jessica.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Should we get out all off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go set our intentions?
Speaker 3: Bye, guys?
Speaker 2: Did buy shared on She's on the Money is general
Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
Speaker 2: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
Speaker 2: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
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