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Speaker 1: You're listening to willin Woodie.

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Speaker 2: We're playing. I just finished playing some of our chat

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Speaker 2: with Ned Brockman, the guy around from Coddersload to Bond

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Speaker 2: nine forty six and a half days. Fascinating conversation, although

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Speaker 2: I've got to admit I was listening to a lot

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Speaker 2: of it, and I think for a lot of people

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Speaker 2: listening as well who aren't used to setting goals for themselves.

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Speaker 2: You can listen to someone like that and they can

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Speaker 2: say things like this.

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Speaker 3: There's no genetic predisposition to be able to wake up

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Speaker 3: better than someone else. If I'm going to wake up

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Speaker 3: four am. Yah, I'm gonna wake up four am. There's

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Speaker 3: no one better at.

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Speaker 2: That doing that.

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Speaker 3: That's a choice. You have to wake up every morning

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Speaker 3: and choose that, because for you to get what you

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Speaker 3: need to do, you have to choose that. Can you

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Speaker 3: have to choose that every single day, And that's what

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Speaker 3: that's showing up.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people that can listen to that,

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Speaker 2: and they can get exhausted by listening to that, and

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Speaker 2: it can immediately deter them and they can go why

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Speaker 2: would I want to live like that? And I think

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Speaker 2: that leads me to the fact that a lot of

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Speaker 2: us have got really bad relationships with goals, how we

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Speaker 2: set them for ourselves and how they can be really

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Speaker 2: something that leads to a lot of ANSAs and depression.

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Speaker 2: And that's what kicks off this today.

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Speaker 1: It's will do it.

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Speaker 2: To health?

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Speaker 1: Did I?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Great to have that opener back?

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Speaker 2: It's a great hope night. The only reason the segments back.

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Speaker 1: Let's be honest.

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Speaker 2: So I've had a bad relationship with goals before, really

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Speaker 2: bad relationship with goals because I was taught that achieving

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Speaker 2: was the thing that was going to make me happy.

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Speaker 1: So if you didn't achieve the goal that you set

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Speaker 1: for yourself, you would be where you'd fall into a

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Speaker 1: hole exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: And I think that there is far too much of

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Speaker 2: an emphasis on goals in society. And I think the

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Speaker 2: goals can be a really good motivator, but also there

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Speaker 2: can be a source of a lot of anxiety and

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Speaker 2: depression because they are a source of comparison. If you're

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Speaker 2: not reaching your goal, then you're thinking about why haven't

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Speaker 2: I reached that goal? What have I got to do

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Speaker 2: to get there? And they become stressful And it's funny

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Speaker 2: we mentioned the word burnout before in the chat with Ned.

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Speaker 2: It can be a source of burnout because thinking about

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Speaker 2: is I'm going to be happy when I get to

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Speaker 2: the goal. And I think that the reason for that

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Speaker 2: is because, as I said before, you've got a bad

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Speaker 2: relationship with the goal. So I'm going to borrow heavily

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Speaker 2: from and I've borrowed from his stuff before. A guy

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Speaker 2: called James Clear who wrote a book called Atomic Habits, who.

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Speaker 1: I've spoken about before.

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Speaker 2: But he's a guy who was a He was a

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Speaker 2: prodigy baseball player, looked like he was going to be

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Speaker 2: playing pro and then he got a baseball back to

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Speaker 2: the head, had his face knocked in and had to

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Speaker 2: go through rehab and was literally a matter of, you know,

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Speaker 2: moving a fingernail at a time to get all the

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Speaker 2: way back. And the whole book's about the fact that

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Speaker 2: as a society, we've got this huge emphasis on what

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Speaker 2: your goals are. But goals are useless if you don't

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Speaker 2: have the way that you're going to get to your goal.

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Speaker 2: And I would go one step further by saying a

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Speaker 2: goal is destructive if you don't know how you're going

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Speaker 2: to get to your goal, because if you don't know

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Speaker 2: what the steps are to get to the goal and

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Speaker 2: all you're doing is thinking about your goal, but you

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Speaker 2: don't have a roadmap as to how to get there,

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Speaker 2: or your roadmap is too stressful as to how to

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Speaker 2: get there, then goals can become really destructive.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm in an awareness of the sacrifices as

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Speaker 1: well is very important because if I want to become

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Speaker 1: the Prime Minister of Australia, for example, that might be

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Speaker 1: a real goal of That might be a real goal

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Speaker 1: of mine.

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Speaker 2: It sounds better.

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Speaker 1: But one thing I might not be considering is Okay,

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Speaker 1: So if I to become the Prime Minister, that means

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Speaker 1: I'm probably going to be working really, really really long hours, right,

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Speaker 1: So what's that sacrificing time with my friends, with my family. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And I think I think a lot of people can

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Speaker 1: look at goals and go, yeah, I want to be that, Yes,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not willing to think about what that means,

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Speaker 1: like really for the sacrifices after.

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Speaker 2: It is exactly what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: Oh brilliant.

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Speaker 2: So I reckon, there's two ways to have a healthy

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Speaker 2: relationship with the goal you set. So the first thing is,

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Speaker 2: if you're going to set a goal for yourself, you

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Speaker 2: actually need to ask yourself, and he talks about this

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Speaker 2: innatomic habits, what is it actually going to take for

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Speaker 2: me to get there? So, if you want to have

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Speaker 2: a good relationship, how good are you? How much do

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Speaker 2: you want to sit down and listen to the person

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Speaker 2: that you're spending most of your time with, because that's

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Speaker 2: part of being in a good relationship, listening to the

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Speaker 2: person that you're with. If you want to strive to

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Speaker 2: get fit, do you have an activity that you like

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Speaker 2: doing enough?

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Speaker 3: Have you found an.

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Speaker 2: Activity that's going to get you fit? Because if you

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Speaker 2: hate running and you go, hey, I'm going to run

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Speaker 2: for half an hour a day, guess what, It's not

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Speaker 2: going to.

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Speaker 1: Work or even the time. So it's half an hour

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Speaker 1: a day, right, So what are you missing out on

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Speaker 1: that half an hour every single day that's ready to

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Speaker 1: go on that run?

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Speaker 2: There's the opportunity cost. So think about what it actually

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Speaker 2: takes to get there, and it might only be small.

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Speaker 2: Like for me, I want to be a writer, so

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Speaker 2: I try and write for half an hour a day. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I like doing that, but it means that I

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Speaker 2: have to go I'm going to give up some time

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Speaker 2: somewhere in that time the second part about it is

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Speaker 2: and I think this is what I find so interesting

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Speaker 2: about Ned's philosophy. Ned's whole philosophy is just show up.

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Speaker 2: And I think the really interesting thing about that is

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Speaker 2: if he thought the whole time, hey, I'm running from

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Speaker 2: cod'sload to bond eye. If he's thinking the whole time,

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Speaker 2: I've got three and a half thousand ters to go,

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Speaker 2: If he's thinking about the goal all the whole time

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Speaker 2: going to he's gonna He's not gonna make it. He's

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Speaker 2: not gonna get past day two. But his philosophy is

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Speaker 2: if I can just show up. And I think a

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Speaker 2: part of showing up is showing up and then put

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Speaker 2: down the goal. And that's what he talks about in

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Speaker 2: Atomic Habits all the time is he goes, goals are great.

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Speaker 2: See yourself a goal. You might want to be the

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Speaker 2: prime minister. Stop laughing when I say that, Please don't.

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Speaker 2: You might want to be a lot of character.

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Speaker 1: Bring that up. I'm coming for your Albert.

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Speaker 2: You want to be the Prime Minister of Australia. Set

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Speaker 2: that goal for yourself and then put that down because

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Speaker 2: it doesn't matter anymore that that's your goal. What matters

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Speaker 2: now is what are you going to do to get there?

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Speaker 2: Get into politics, probably that'll be your first step. But

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Speaker 2: you're going to have a really unhealthy relationship with the

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Speaker 2: things that you do to get to your goal. If

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Speaker 2: all you're doing is thinking about what the goal looks like,

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Speaker 2: does that make sense?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because then you're very unmindful in all the steps. Yes,

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Speaker 1: But if you're always thinking about the finish, yes, and

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Speaker 1: you're not actually focusing on the process, that you need

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Speaker 1: to do it again exactly.

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Speaker 2: And that's actually the chat had in this room as

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Speaker 2: a team when Ned left right is I think I

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Speaker 2: mentioned it's like when you get to and I know

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Speaker 2: this is a very small analogy for what he did,

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Speaker 2: but it's like when you get to two weeks out

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Speaker 2: from Christmas break, yeah, right, as soon as you go, hey,

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Speaker 2: i've got two weeks till Christmas, and you start thinking

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Speaker 2: about the fact that that's Christmas, that's your goal. The

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Speaker 2: next two weeks of shit, Yeah, everyone everyone hates being

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Speaker 2: at work.

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Speaker 1: You don't enjoy it because all you're thinking about is

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Speaker 1: how much you're going to enjoy the Christmas brain right, Yeah, totally,

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Speaker 1: you're also sorry. Just like talking about post interview, we're

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Speaker 1: talking to a guy who ran from Codslow Beach to

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Speaker 1: Bondo Beach, and you said, and he said, oh mate

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Speaker 1: in a lot of fruit. And then you said to him,

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Speaker 1: oh sin fig last week and it was awful looking

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Speaker 1: at any fresh fruit and bench you literally made that

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Speaker 1: complaint to a man who ran.

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Speaker 2: Across the Oh mate, just had to show up at

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Speaker 2: the breakfast him.

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Speaker 1: More of the boys on the Full Show podcast, all

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Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio app oh where I mean get your

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Speaker 1: podcast