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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me Lolaberry, author, nutritionist,

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Speaker 1: and yoga teacher join me as we get to know

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Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

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Speaker 1: shaped their dreams.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Fearlessly Failing.

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Speaker 1: With Lolaberry, Uloha, and welcome to your interview section of

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Speaker 1: the pod. So Mondays of for interviews, Fridays and for diaries.

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Speaker 1: This is an interview one with Sam Webb, incredible human

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Speaker 1: being and anytime that I'm missing the Australian accent, I

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Speaker 1: am one hundred percent going to listen to this episode

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Speaker 1: because Sam has an awesome, awesome, Aussie grounded, earthy accent.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, bit jealousy your accent. My friend.

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Speaker 1: The other person that I've been to be on here

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Speaker 1: that has a wonderful Australian accent is Candice.

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Speaker 2: Fox, who's an Aussie author.

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Speaker 1: I think these are going to be the two epps

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Speaker 1: that I listened to and I'm homesick.

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Speaker 2: And need to hear a bit more Australiana ness.

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Speaker 1: So Sam, we're Aussie actor living here in La Land

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Speaker 1: of Dreams. He is also co founder of Living an Incredible,

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Speaker 1: Incredible not for profit organization which is all about breaking

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Speaker 1: the stigma of mental health. I'm going to put all

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Speaker 1: the details in the show notes so you can learn

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Speaker 1: loads about Liven. I know as soon as I get

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Speaker 1: back to Australia, I'm recording this in LA By the way,

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Speaker 1: I am one hundred percent going to buy myself all

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Speaker 1: the live and merch I can get my hands on.

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Speaker 2: Sam is a legend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so over here chasing the American actor's dream. We're

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Speaker 1: on very similar trajectories. We're both in acting school.

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Speaker 2: Also, Sam's been on Sovie.

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Speaker 1: Loads of fun watching and researching the YouTube bids of

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Speaker 1: him being on Survivor, and he's just an all round

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Speaker 1: great human being, super super passionate.

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Speaker 2: A little trigger warning here we do discuss suicide.

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Speaker 1: He is so open, vulnerable and honest in I believe

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Speaker 1: every aspect of his life. And I was really touched

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Speaker 1: to move by this chat. And there are a few

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Speaker 1: moments where I was getting a little bit emotional just

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Speaker 1: hearing him be so he literally has no filter, so

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Speaker 1: super open about really confronting things that have happened to him.

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Speaker 1: I really hope you love this chat, Sam, you are

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Speaker 1: a living legend, my friend, Sam Web.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the pod.

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Speaker 3: Thanks Lola, I'm looking forward to having a good chat

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Speaker 3: yan with you today.

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Speaker 1: Love a yar, my friend, Love a Yan Yep, get

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Speaker 1: company with your mic.

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Speaker 2: You sound great, Yeah, you sound good? Well I have.

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Speaker 1: I want to start this with a massive compliment. You

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Speaker 1: have the best Astrolian accent I have come across, really,

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: Why what makes you think that?

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Speaker 1: So it's like grounded, it's earthy, it's a low register,

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Speaker 1: but it's so like iconically I think it's a Queenslander's accent,

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Speaker 1: which I love. That's my favorite Australian accent. And I'm

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Speaker 1: jealous because mine I lived in Burley for like five

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Speaker 1: years and I had it, Like I fully had that accent,

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Speaker 1: and I'm jealous Mine's gone.

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Speaker 3: You drive up there to get the accent five years. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 3: I appreciate the compliment. I sometimes think I sound like

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Speaker 3: too much of a bogain, so if in my mind

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Speaker 3: I'm trying to tone it back down with it, but nah,

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Speaker 3: I enjoy it. It's I get that. I get that

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Speaker 3: all the time. You've got the thickest accent. Man, Are

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Speaker 3: you kidding? Like it's hilarious?

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Speaker 2: No, it's a take it as a compliment.

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Speaker 1: I think it's amazing actually to cast swap with a

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Speaker 1: another Aussie actor that was here a couple of weeks

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Speaker 1: ago and she was like, hey, can I take you

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Speaker 1: for coffee?

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Speaker 2: I want to hear your accent more.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, I've lost too much of my accent

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Speaker 1: being here, and some catch out for her with her

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Speaker 1: on the weekend so she can hear my accent.

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Speaker 2: I was like, thank you. Maybe my accent isn't too bad.

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Speaker 3: I think your accent's pretty pretty strong.

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Speaker 2: It's reasonably I want.

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Speaker 3: It definitely, definitely not because you've spent a lot of

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Speaker 3: time obviously, and you're from Melbourne.

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Speaker 2: Can you pick the Melbourne.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, that's what I'm going to say. You

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Speaker 3: don't sound like I feel like it when you go

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Speaker 3: further down south, especially like Adelaide, it's very prim and proper.

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Speaker 3: It sounds almost on the English side.

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Speaker 1: Totally, totally.

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Speaker 3: I feel that yours is very much more Northern Australia.

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Speaker 1: From my early days are now paying off because I

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Speaker 1: really want to I really want I love being an

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Speaker 1: Aussie in America and I really want to talk to

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Speaker 1: you about that because we're recording that in the land

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Speaker 1: of dream We're recording this in the Land of Dreams

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Speaker 1: right now. So first of all, you're an Aussie actor, huh.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to dive into all of that. You're

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Speaker 1: also founder of Living, which I think we're going to

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Speaker 1: start there, and I don't want to forget about Survivor

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Speaker 1: because I found so many eclipse of you on YouTube

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Speaker 1: and I can't wait.

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Speaker 2: Was it really the hardest thing ever?

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Speaker 3: Honestly, Like mentally, it was the toughest challenge you've ever done.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm a I'd like to think I was a

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Speaker 3: bit of a like a lone warrior growing up, I wasn't.

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Speaker 3: Most of my friends did tool like trades and handyman

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Speaker 3: work where I wasn't so handy, and I didn't think

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Speaker 3: I was so handy. So for me going on a

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Speaker 3: show like Survivor having defend for myself and build and

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Speaker 3: forage and live literally live off the island for as

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Speaker 3: long as possibly fifty five days, which again I was

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Speaker 3: going above and outside any comfort zone I thought I

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Speaker 3: could in my whole entire life. That was the toughest challenge.

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Speaker 3: Along with the mental side of things, you know, sleeping

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Speaker 3: and the nights were like the horror, So there was

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Speaker 3: a lot of parts of it that were challenging. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: that was some of the more hard ones.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we are going to start with Survivor because I'm

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Speaker 1: too excited. So I saw you do a Ted talk

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Speaker 1: where you were surprised, like you went in there and

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Speaker 1: you were surprised that some people's like MO was to

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Speaker 1: manipulate other people did Was that a thing where people like.

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Speaker 2: Trying to mind game one another in Survivor?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, But I think you know, I went into

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Speaker 3: the game of Survivor very very naive in a way.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, your package was so funny. Your package is

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Speaker 1: on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm one of five kick what

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Speaker 2: is it? Fire?

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Speaker 3: I won a fire. Yeah, I had no idea.

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Speaker 2: You're like, I might find romance.

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Speaker 3: I the two was going in there, just like I

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Speaker 3: am right now, very open minded. Wherever this podcast goes,

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Speaker 3: I'll answer as best as I can, and I'll jump

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Speaker 3: and get involved. But the same is for the game.

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Speaker 3: Like I just got on there and I remember asking

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Speaker 3: one of my tribe mates, and I was holding back

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Speaker 3: for the first a few days because I didn't want

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Speaker 3: people to sort of think, you know, what is he

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Speaker 3: for real, but I had to ask someone to hidden

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Speaker 3: immunity idol, which is pretty bad. Like that's people who

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Speaker 3: are actually Savage Survivor fans must think that's an insult.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't mean to be. It was just I,

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Speaker 3: you know, I didn't grow up watching Survivor, but I

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Speaker 3: but I knew that I wanted to learn it, and

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Speaker 3: I wanted to learn it fully, and by the end

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Speaker 3: of the game, I you know, I'd like to think

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Speaker 3: that I learn everything about it, and I'd do it again.

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Speaker 2: And you've got the number six.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, top six, And I was so stoked to even

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Speaker 3: get that far. But I think what it comes down

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Speaker 3: to is definitely a social game. It really is. It's

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Speaker 3: about building relationships. And yes, in our season, people probably

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Speaker 3: weren't going behind people's backs as much, but stixists it

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Speaker 3: still existed. But you watch some seasons and it's literally

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Speaker 3: all about that. And I find that hard because in

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Speaker 3: my life, I don't like, Yeah, that was sort of

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Speaker 3: like a conflicting with my personal values totally, so going

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Speaker 3: against them on national TV in a setting that's so public.

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Speaker 3: Not when you're playing its public, but when when it's

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Speaker 3: out in the open. I was like it was really

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Speaker 3: hard for me. That was tough.

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Speaker 1: There's a bit that I love that you said that

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I'm open to confrontation. If I have

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Speaker 1: to come in and look after someone, I will.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if I have to come and look after someone,

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Speaker 3: I will.

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Speaker 2: So good.

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Speaker 1: But I think that also mirrors the values that you

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Speaker 1: were just talking about, where like you're very comfortable with

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Speaker 1: who you are as a human being, and that's where

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited to talk about living and also your

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Speaker 1: own personal mental health journey, because it sounds like you've

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Speaker 1: done a lot of work on yourself and you have

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Speaker 1: a really clear understanding of who you are, what you

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Speaker 1: believe in, what you stand for. Can we go back

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Speaker 1: to like your mid twenties now where yeah, you didn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily like I don't feel like from what I've listened,

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Speaker 1: I've fully like binge as much content I could find.

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Speaker 1: A vier from what I've heard is like you, well,

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Speaker 1: one of the people was like, fine, everything looked fine

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Speaker 1: on the outside, but you were actually really struggling.

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Speaker 2: Is that kind of right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, And I think my story is probably not

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Speaker 3: too different to a lot of young men who might

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Speaker 3: be listening to this podcast. Right now, who are out there?

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Speaker 3: Growing up one of five second youngest sports was something

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Speaker 3: that I was. I used to do most of my life,

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Speaker 3: you know, tough it up, get through it and win,

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Speaker 3: win win. Comet with problem solving situations all the time.

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Speaker 3: You need to have a solution for something. You got

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Speaker 3: to fix it, fix six sixty six. Fix if you

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Speaker 3: can't fix it, find a solution kind of thing. And

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Speaker 3: growing up you know with knock about friends who were

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Speaker 3: you know, in sports or build or whatever it was,

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Speaker 3: you know, talking about mental health, it just wasn't even

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Speaker 3: a thing. Yeah, I didn't even know about it, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean, other than having people in my

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Speaker 3: family who directly been affected by suicide, and mental illness

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Speaker 3: wasn't something that we'd spoke about outside. I'd never have

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Speaker 3: a conversation with a friend, like in my early twenties about,

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Speaker 3: you know, how's your mental illness or how's your mental

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Speaker 3: health going? And where are you on the you know,

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Speaker 3: on the spectrum, so to speak, how are you feeling today?

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Speaker 3: Is there something that I can really help you out

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Speaker 3: with looking for warning signs? None of these things was

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Speaker 3: even a part of my vocabulary growing up, as I

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Speaker 3: don't think it was with any of my friendship group

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Speaker 3: or probably a lot of people outside of my friendship group.

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Speaker 1: We're similar ages too, I feel like, especially that possie

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Speaker 1: mentality of like should be right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't know this because when I met you,

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Speaker 1: I thought that you living in America, Like this was

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Speaker 1: the first time that you lived in America when you

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Speaker 1: and I met a few weeks ago. But you were

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Speaker 1: actually here in your twenties in Louisiana.

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Speaker 3: I was in Saint Louis for a year in twenty

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Speaker 3: twelve after I finished university and the Gold Coast I

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Speaker 3: tried to pursue a career believer or not. I'm so

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Speaker 3: glad I didn't in finance. Yeah, but it's truated me

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Speaker 3: very well my personal and professional life. I've used what

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Speaker 3: I studied, and it's helped me in more ways than

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Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong, but I ended up in Saint Louis,

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Speaker 3: Missouri in twenty twenty twelve and literally going through the

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Speaker 3: ringer Like. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at

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Speaker 3: a pretty young age. It was in two thousand and nine,

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Speaker 3: twenty ten, going into college. I probably struggled with it

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Speaker 3: before that, but that was when I really got a

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Speaker 3: chance to speak up and seek professional help, and that

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Speaker 3: was from a number of people in my life that

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Speaker 3: sort of said, you know, we need to get on

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Speaker 3: top of this. They could identify it outside of me,

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Speaker 3: that it was a problem and it was only going

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Speaker 3: to spiral if I didn't get the help that I needed.

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Speaker 3: And with some great people in my corner, I've got

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Speaker 3: a great family and we're all very supportive, you got

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Speaker 3: on I'd like to think I got on track somewhat

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Speaker 3: and I got the help that I needed, and I

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Speaker 3: ended up in America. But that year when I was

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Speaker 3: in the States trying to do finance and I was

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Speaker 3: in a relationship at the time, I just my life

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Speaker 3: really started to spiral. I wasn't really happy with where

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Speaker 3: I was living, my current position in my life. It

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Speaker 3: was just wasn't it wasn't good. Yeah, and yeah, I'd

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Speaker 3: like to say that I learned a lot, but it

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Speaker 3: was probably the hardest time in my life that year

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Speaker 3: and the year proceed like the year after it, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: no proceeding. And that was the year of twenty thirteen.

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Speaker 3: So I got home late twenty twelve, so I could

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Speaker 3: only stand around a year in the States, and then.

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Speaker 2: You went home like the day after Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, literally went on the day after Christmas, and I

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Speaker 3: just it was like this instant release of pressure off

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Speaker 3: my shoulders. But then when I got home, it was

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Speaker 3: like that was just the tip of the iceberg. It

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Speaker 3: was like my life's just started spiraling.

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Speaker 2: And did you because you're on zoloft, weren't you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And you got home when off cold yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, cold turkey yeah yeah, which is a very shouldn't

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Speaker 3: have done it? And I did, And now I was

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Speaker 3: I was self medicating with drugs and alcohol for wow.

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Speaker 3: Probably the next six to twelve months I reckon, especially

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Speaker 3: after getting back and leaving my relationship, which is a

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Speaker 3: long relationship, and leaving what I thought that I was

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Speaker 3: going to, Like I spent so long at college thing

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Speaker 3: and this was the dream life. Yeah, started pursuing it.

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Speaker 3: I was in this job and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 3: I had offers to go work in California to work

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Speaker 3: as a portfolio advisor, like, and I was like, I

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Speaker 3: don't even want that. I'm going back home. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to reevaluate, recalibrate, and see where the world takes me.

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Speaker 3: And then I started just spiraling drinking drugs, hanging out

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Speaker 3: with bad people, and just doing what you do at

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Speaker 3: a young age, I guess, and I learned more than

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Speaker 3: than I probably ever learned my life.

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Speaker 1: I think as well in retrospect, looking back your mid

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Speaker 1: kind of twenties, I think, alike, when you have to

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Speaker 1: you're figuring yourself out, like you're figuring out what you

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Speaker 1: want to do. You're figuring out like you're starting to

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Speaker 1: realize that unless you actually invest in your own mental

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Speaker 1: health as well, you're probably going to trip at some stage.

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Speaker 1: I think that all kind of happens in that twenties.

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Speaker 1: I know it's different for everyone, just like from I

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Speaker 1: think personal experience and like talking to mates and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: That's the real finding yourself and discovering your values and

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Speaker 1: figuring out who you are and what you want to do.

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Speaker 1: I think, But can you talk to me about you

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Speaker 1: got back to Burly and then you started hanging out

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Speaker 1: with Dwayne again. You guys were like besties, but like

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Speaker 1: if you're one of the one of those friends, were like,

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Speaker 1: if you don't see each other, it's okay, and then

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Speaker 1: it's just back to being amazing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly exactly, So get get getting back to Australia

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Speaker 3: Burly heads. Yeah, and yeah, we grew up playing sport together. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he was on the opposing side most of the time

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Speaker 3: and they genuinely get a lot of wins. But we

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Speaker 3: were very competitive growing up and wouldn't hang out with

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Speaker 3: each other all the time. But when we did, it

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Speaker 3: was like nothing changed. We were we were. Yeah, we

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Speaker 3: were quite a similar in a lot of ways. You know.

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Speaker 3: I loved having a good time, loved making trouble, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean, just young guys having alarikans, alarikins,

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Speaker 3: absolute larikans for the for the right way to say it.

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Speaker 3: But and it was two thousand and thirteen, so I

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Speaker 3: started and then I basically got into a new work,

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Speaker 3: which is working for Osteria.

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Speaker 2: Oh great, that's more up your out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah definitely. And I was like, I really like this.

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Speaker 3: And it was in sales, but I've done sales before,

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Speaker 3: and I was like great, And I was around creative people,

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Speaker 3: riders at the department on air and I was really

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Speaker 3: enjoying it. But in my area, I was really good

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Speaker 3: at what I did, but I didn't really enjoy it.

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Speaker 3: Now I was just coming to work, hit my budgets,

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Speaker 3: made commissions, was making pretty good money. But I used

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Speaker 3: to rock up to work every Monday morning, literally hungover.

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Speaker 3: And I was having three day weekends every weekend, and

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Speaker 3: literally this was a year that I like to say

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Speaker 3: it was my turning point. It was a time of

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Speaker 3: hitting rock bottom, but also knowing that I had two

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Speaker 3: choices to make. And I'll take you back a little

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Speaker 3: bit before Dwayne's part, like the story about Dwayne and

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Speaker 3: everything else and why I live and started. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: just you know when you're on that Faires all that

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Speaker 3: Hamps day and he's doing the same stuff over and

325
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Speaker 3: over again, drinking, working, drinking, working, drinking working, nothing was changing.

326
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Speaker 3: I wasn't having any better relationships in my life. I

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Speaker 3: wasn't becoming a better SAM. I was just coasting. And

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Speaker 3: if anything, I wasn't coasting, I was actually declining even

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Speaker 3: further than what I was when I was in America. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: I Dwayne and I reconnected and we hung out and

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah blah. It was around September of

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Speaker 3: twenty thirteen, Dwayne and I woman hang out. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to dive straight into this story right now. But after

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Speaker 3: a number of weekends hanging out and whatnot. It came

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Speaker 3: to the weekend of September fourteen, fifteen's my birthday? Is that? Okay? Okay, Well,

336
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Speaker 3: I'll never forget that weekend because on the fifteenth of September,

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00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 3: Floyd Mayweather was fighting Canelo Alvarezes and Dwayne and I

338
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 3: were planning to watch that because he's an avid boxer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he read that part of his career.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, he was like an amateur and then a

341
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Speaker 3: professional so to speak, and he was amazing. He's really

342
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Speaker 3: good at it. Had a couple of operations on his

343
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Speaker 3: elbow and had a couple of issues with that side

344
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Speaker 3: of things, but overall, very talented, very talented actually at

345
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Speaker 3: everything he did sport wise. And we'd plan to sit

346
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Speaker 3: at the Shark Bar at Miami and to watch That's

347
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,080
Speaker 3: just where most people would go and watch fights, like

348
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Speaker 3: live fights, and we're going to sit there, have drinks

349
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Speaker 3: and Twain and Noy's I used to always say, we're

350
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Speaker 3: going to the top, man, We're going to the top.

351
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Speaker 3: It was his figure of speech that we'd say that

352
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Speaker 3: no matter what happened in life, no matter how good

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Speaker 3: or bad things got, we're going to the top. And

354
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Speaker 3: in my mind, the top is like we're going to

355
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Speaker 3: be an elite. Yeah, Like we're going to achieve every

356
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Speaker 3: goal that we've ever set out to achieve. We're going

357
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Speaker 3: to be with the most amazing people in our life,

358
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Speaker 3: We're gonna have great friendships. Life is just going to

359
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Speaker 3: be unbelievable. And we always used to say we're going

360
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Speaker 3: to the top, man, We're going to the top, even

361
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Speaker 3: when we're down by Nobby's Ark, and that on a Sunday,

362
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Speaker 3: you know, it was like where are you going, Lally,

363
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Speaker 3: We're going to the fucking time. And that was just

364
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Speaker 3: how it was. And anyway, the weekend of September your birthday,

365
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,640
Speaker 3: fourteenth and fifteenth, Dwayne had set up a double date

366
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Speaker 3: with his girl, like his long term girlfriend, almost fiance,

367
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Speaker 3: and her best friend. And he's like, we're going to

368
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Speaker 3: go for a dinner in Knobby's Beach and we're gonna

369
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Speaker 3: have a good time, just the four of us, and

370
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Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah blah. I'd been drinking during the

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Speaker 3: day just with some friends again at the Shark Bar,

372
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Speaker 3: watching football, and then Dwayne was doing the same thing too,

373
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Speaker 3: and he's like, Web, don't worry, let's scrap the plans

374
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Speaker 3: for the for the double date. I've got a better plan.

375
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Speaker 3: I'm getting the girls to pick you up because his

376
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: girlfriend lived just near the Shark Bar, and they're going,

377
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Speaker 3: they're gonna pick you up, and you're going to come

378
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Speaker 3: to my place and we're going to have a little

379
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Speaker 3: barbecue and I get together with a bunch of people

380
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,119
Speaker 3: and on the way through, make sure you picked me

381
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 3: up some beers. Anyway, we did all that, I got

382
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Speaker 3: picked up by the girls. We headed straight at Dwayne's house.

383
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Speaker 3: And Dwayne, being Dwayne, life of the party, very charismatic,

384
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,840
Speaker 3: fun like he's a type of guy that you'll always

385
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 3: have a good time with, you know, you know those

386
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:15,359
Speaker 3: people very jack and rock solid, wouldn't genuinely open up

387
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,439
Speaker 3: about anything, and he would hide his he'd hide his

388
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 3: vulnerabilities at all costs. And Dwayne invited us in let's go.

389
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Speaker 3: Let's go to the fucking up, let's go to this

390
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 3: had an amazing time. Football was on, drinks were going

391
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Speaker 3: and a house party won't be like hopefully and we're

392
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Speaker 3: having a great time. And then I remember it would

393
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 3: have been around ten thirty eleven o'clock that night, Dwayne said,

394
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 3: come come with me, Let's have a chat. And we

395
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 3: had a chat in his room. I remember him shutting

396
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 3: the door. We were in a deep and meaningful and definitely,

397
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 3: I'm not going to lie like we were intoxicated and

398
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 3: everything else to a certain degree, but I was very

399
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 3: aware of what was happening. And Dwayne basically opened up

400
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 3: to me that night. And and I'm going to freeze

401
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 3: right there because at this very moment in my life,

402
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 3: in my year, in that particular time, I wasn't in

403
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,679
Speaker 3: the best frame of mind either. I was literally just

404
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 3: holding it together, trying to survive, trying to breathe, a

405
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,360
Speaker 3: head above water, so to speak. Dwayne called me into

406
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 3: his room that night, let's have a chat, and we

407
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 3: ended up speaking. Now, this is very different than what

408
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 3: I've experienced before because I've never had a one on

409
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 3: one conversation in this capacity with someone like Dwayne, life

410
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 3: of the party, very charismatic, wouldn't share any struggles that

411
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 3: he has generally with anyone, and I have never really

412
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,880
Speaker 3: had those conversations with any dude in my life, let

413
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: alone Dwayne. Anyway, Dwayne's like, wheb, I've I just want

414
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 3: to let you know. Like it was like a kind

415
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 3: of a depressing conversation in a way, because he opened

416
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 3: up to me and said, you know what, WHEB, I've

417
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 3: tried to take my life twice before, not once, but twice.

418
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, I was so caught off guard. I didn't

419
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 3: even see this coming, Like I had no idea, Like

420
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 3: I didn't know that he'd tryed to do this, no one,

421
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 3: I've never heard of this. I knew Dwayne had suffered

422
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 3: with mental health challenges and anxiety depression bi Polo, but

423
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 3: I wasn't really educated on how severe that was for

424
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 3: him and how much that played a part in his life.

425
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 3: And he's the end of his life, I guess, but

426
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 3: and it wasn't until after the fact, But in that moment,

427
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 3: I thought I listened as best as I could, and I,

428
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 3: you know, we were chatting about and he's like, don't

429
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 3: worry where, but I just want to let you know

430
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 3: that I've I've definitely tried it and I definitely won't

431
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 3: be trying it ever again. And we were talking about

432
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 3: a friend that we both lost, a friend's brother and

433
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 3: it was literally only about a year earlier, year and

434
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 3: a little bit earlier. And he's like, it was so

435
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 3: sad and affected so many people's lives and it changed

436
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 3: people's lives. He's like, yeah, I could never do it

437
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 3: to my family. And he was so Dwayne was so

438
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 3: close with his family, you know what I mean, Like

439
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 3: there was nothing from the outside looking in. You look

440
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 3: at Dwayne's life and you'd think it was just really good.

441
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

442
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 3: Perfect, Yeah, and you know, very talented. He was a homeowner,

443
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 3: family only one sister, mum and dad. Everyone to get like,

444
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 3: they're all together, there's no family separations or anything like that.

445
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 3: Great extended family has literally got family everywhere. And and

446
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 3: we're talking and I'm like, man, you know that no

447
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 3: matter how hard or how bad you might feel, please

448
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 3: know that you've got a lot of support and friends

449
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 3: out there that would run to your support if you

450
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 3: needed them, the same way that you would have done

451
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 3: this for Blake, who died a year earlier, you know

452
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 3: what I mean? He goes, yeah, I know, I would

453
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 3: have just been there for Blake, like so many people

454
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 3: would have rocked up. His funeral was huge. I don't

455
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 3: know what he was thinking, why did he do this?

456
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 3: And Dwayne's like, yeah, I know, man, but I just

457
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 3: wanted to let you know that on one of those

458
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 3: guys that actually has the balls to do it. He

459
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,719
Speaker 3: actually said that, he goes, I've actually got the balls

460
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 3: to do it. I remember that because that was really weird.

461
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 3: I would never have said that, even if I knew

462
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 3: that I could do it, he goes. But there are

463
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 3: a lot of people out there web that say they

464
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 3: would do it, but they would never do it. They're

465
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 3: all talk, he goes. But I'm one of those ones.

466
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 3: But I just want to let you know that I'm not.

467
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 3: I would never do it to my family and all that.

468
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 3: This is all great, and Dwayne being great and sorry,

469
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 3: Dwayne being Dwayne looked at me and reassured me. Life

470
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 3: was good, future looked promising, He had all these things

471
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 3: set up. Business was going well, Relationships seemed like it

472
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 3: was going well. And I remember trying to share with

473
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 3: Dwayne about how I was fit, like how I felt too, like,

474
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 3: trying to basically get on his level. And I talk

475
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 3: about this in my TED talk around about trying to

476
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,120
Speaker 3: be the safest person possible so that people can open

477
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 3: up as well and trust you. And I explained to

478
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 3: Dwayne about my struggles and my family history with mental

479
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 3: illness and my own challenges, and him and I could

480
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 3: were very he was for his bipolar disorder. He was

481
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 3: actually medicating on lithicarb, yeah, which can affect your weight, yes,

482
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 3: and it can make you put on weight or change

483
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 3: weight or whatever. And I remember him saying, I didn't

484
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 3: he didn't like it he was taking up. He didn't

485
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 3: like it because it changed his weight and infected him

486
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: with his training and all that sort of stuff. And

487
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 3: I remember going, mate, I was on the same stuff

488
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 3: when I was taking it for a certain certain period

489
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 3: of time and I got off it, and we were

490
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 3: laughing and having back and forth chatter and banner about it.

491
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 3: And we're still having banner at this time too. Even

492
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 3: during this really serious conversation, there was still a lot

493
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 3: of like, how we'll be right, It's all going to

494
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 3: be good, you know, who cares that sort of thing.

495
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 3: And then I remember going, man, everything's going to be great.

496
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: Everyone's here for you if you ever need anything, and

497
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 3: I'll make sure i'm there for you if you ever

498
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 3: struggling again. And I remember going to me, don't worry

499
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 3: where I'm fine. And that was the conversation which ended

500
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 3: in that room and we'd left, and I remember sitting

501
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 3: at the front door of the party that night. I'm

502
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 3: just trying to be specific here, and I was with

503
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: Emily at the time, his girlfriend's best friend, just hanging

504
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 3: out having drinks talking at the front door, and I

505
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 3: remember a little bit of a commotion went down at

506
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,679
Speaker 3: the party and I was like, what happened? What happened?

507
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: And Dwayne's girlfriend at the time was like, Dwayne's left

508
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 3: the party. He's taken off at the back door. He

509
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 3: said he's going to go kill himself. And I think

510
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,160
Speaker 3: he really means it this time, Like he just took

511
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 3: off and he ran off, and da da da da da.

512
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 3: And I literally jumped off out of my seat, literally

513
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 3: jumped out of my seat based on the conversation we'd

514
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 3: only had twenty five minutes earlier. And I ran around

515
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 3: the house, couldn't find him, and I was like, what

516
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 3: is going on here? Man messaging him, trying to call him,

517
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 3: please answer, Please do not do anything stupid. I remember

518
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,400
Speaker 3: the text message I sent to him that night straight away,

519
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 3: a going, please don't do anything we'd spoken about tonight. Brother,

520
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 3: I'm here for you no matter what. That was the

521
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 3: exact text message I sent to him. I'll never forget it.

522
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 3: No response, no answer. I jumped in the car that

523
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 3: night I probably shouldn't have, and I drove halfway around

524
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 3: the Gold Coast looking for him with the two girls

525
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 3: in their car that I got picked up in that night,

526
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 3: a little black beetle thing. Shouldn't have been driving, but

527
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 3: I did. And I remember the first place I went

528
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 3: to look for Dwayne gone, I think he might just

529
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 3: be down here by the water looking out and just

530
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 3: taking to me. Yeah, whatever he's doing, I don't think

531
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 3: he's doing he's going to do anything stupid, just because

532
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 3: we're talking about this. And he reassured me, and I

533
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 3: was convinced. You know, he sold me. He sold me hard,

534
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,479
Speaker 3: and he said everything that I need to hear. And

535
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: I no answer, no response. Our girls are calling him,

536
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 3: no response, nothing. That's really weird. And then I went

537
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 3: to that bridge and I couldn't see him. I remember

538
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 3: doing a U turn under the bridge and I was

539
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 3: looking around. This is a Teller Buddra Palm Beach, Teller

540
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 3: Buddra drive and I remember looking around, couldn't see him,

541
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 3: left right, couldn't see him. I went all right, So

542
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 3: I drove off out there and drove to a different

543
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: place and then no word of him. It was about

544
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 3: two three o'clock in the morning, or maybe even two

545
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 3: around that time, and I remember his mom going she

546
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 3: couldn't get hold of him, and I spoke to her

547
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 3: on the phone at the front of the party and Kim,

548
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 3: she couldn't even She's like, I just he's done answering

549
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 3: my calls, all messages or anything. It was really weird.

550
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 3: It was really strange. And then I couldn't sleep that night.

551
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 3: I remember laying up right like this, just looking and thinking,

552
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 3: trying to stay positive. Everything's going to be okay. And

553
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 3: the next day we're meant to be going to watch

554
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 3: the fight, and I remember seeing his face pop up

555
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 3: on Facebook missing people like has anyone found him? And

556
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 3: no one's found him? And this was like NonStop call

557
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 3: him a I bro, like no one could get a

558
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 3: hold of him, and unbernown at the time, I couldn't

559
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,959
Speaker 3: obviously didn't go to the Shark. By that day, I

560
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,719
Speaker 3: sat with a whole bunch of friends, my brother and

561
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 3: whatnot and people that were Dwayne's friends, and no word

562
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 3: from anyone. And it was about five o'clock that day

563
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 3: in the afternoon. I'd been harm. And I was home

564
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 3: by myself and eating pizza, and I was just just

565
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,160
Speaker 3: there's something eerie about the day. It just didn't feel

566
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 3: right and didn't seem right. And although I tried to

567
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 3: keep positive and I tried to think all the right

568
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 3: things and play back situations in my head, do I

569
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 3: say the right stuff? Did I do anything wrong? I

570
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,719
Speaker 3: hope you listened to that part was his phone in

571
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,919
Speaker 3: his hand when I texted him, maybe it's gone flat.

572
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 3: Like all these different situations running through my mind. And

573
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 3: I remember getting a phone call at five o'clock saying

574
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: that Dwayne had been found dead. And that was the

575
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 3: phone call I'll never forget. That was the worst phone

576
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 3: call I've ever received him my whole entire life, because

577
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: I felt responsible for it. I was with Dwayne. He

578
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,959
Speaker 3: shouldn't have done this, Like I was there in his kit,

579
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 3: like he was in my care. He opened up to me,

580
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 3: and he hasn't done that to anybody. And I'm like,

581
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 3: I'm partly responsible for this. I should be. This shouldn't

582
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 3: have happened. This should not have happened. And I couldn't

583
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 3: believe it to a point where I just lost my

584
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 3: mind and got in the car, and I still didn't

585
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: believe it. I was in must have been shocked or whatever.

586
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 3: And I drove up to the hospital at Southport Hospital,

587
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 3: and I was a company with his whole family and

588
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 3: close friends, and I had to see Dwayne to actually

589
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 3: look at him to know that this was real and

590
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: it wasn't just something that someone had just rang me

591
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 3: and told me. And I remember them taking back to

592
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 3: Kurt in the viewing room that night and seeing my

593
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 3: friend's dead body there as the first dead body I've

594
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 3: ever seen in my whole entire life. And I'll never

595
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 3: forget it. He isn't the same clothes, isn't the same

596
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 3: outfit that he wore that night at the party. He

597
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 3: just looked a little bit more at peace probably and

598
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 3: just laying and I was just like, this is fucked.

599
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 3: How is this even real? This? I was just with

600
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 3: him a few hours ago, you know what I mean? Like,

601
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 3: this guy's young, he has his whole life ahead of him.

602
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 3: And looking over to my right, I see his family.

603
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 3: They'll never be the same again. Yeah, it's one thing

604
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,959
Speaker 3: affecting people like myself and Casey and whoever else friends,

605
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 3: but it's family. It's different. These people will never be

606
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 3: the same again. Ever, their whole life's changed, and everything

607
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 3: from there is just just had spired for a little

608
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 3: bit for a lot of us. And then yeah, we

609
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 3: did our best to try and try and stick together,

610
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 3: to try and make a difference. And that's really where

611
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 3: living started after that.

612
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: When he was really young, was he the same major

613
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: as you? Yeah, so two thousand and how old would.

614
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 2: Have he been?

615
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 3: Twenty four to twenty five? Yeah? Yeah, very young. And

616
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 3: you know we're coming up to Livn's eight year anniversary

617
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: on the on the fifteenth.

618
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 2: And September, say next week.

619
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so next Wednesday something like that, because your

620
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 3: birthday must be Tuesday. And yeah, it's just it wasn't

621
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 3: the it wasn't the ending I was expecting and for anybody,

622
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 3: and I just and then obviously after it all happened,

623
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 3: we learn a lot about it, and I'm still learning

624
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 3: more about Dwayne today, things that I never knew, Like

625
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 3: I wasn't. I was close to Dwayne, but I wasn't.

626
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 3: It was a different kind of class. We probably spent

627
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 3: more time being Larry Cans and playing sport and just

628
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 3: just having fun together then we really did having serious conversations.

629
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 1: Also you would have learned, you would have that would

630
00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: have triggered you to learn a lot about bipolar though.

631
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, like as.

632
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: My school set as a nutritionist, but I love mental

633
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: health and I love the brain and brain chemistry and

634
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: human behavior. It's real passion of mine and bipolar is

635
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: a very specific set of circumstances that that.

636
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 2: Human is going through with highs and lows.

637
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: But you mentioned Tellabudderer Bridge or creek? Is you went

638
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 1: there to have a look? Is that where? Is that

639
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,479
Speaker 1: why you mentioned it? Is that where it happened.

640
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what they found. They found Dwayne there. That's

641
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: where he was found and apparently because where he was.

642
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 3: I know this is just after the fact, but he'd

643
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 3: parked his car around the corner that I didn't quite

644
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 3: see and he was still alive at that stage, but

645
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 3: I didn't turn the corner and sees car. So that's

646
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 3: that's These are things that kind of play on my

647
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 3: mind all the time. But you can only do what

648
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 3: you can do, I guess, And it just happened that way.

649
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 3: And yeah, it was like he was up around the

650
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 3: corner and the camera had him going in towards the

651
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 3: bushes and a walker found him the next day, and yeah,

652
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 3: that person who found him will never be the same.

653
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 3: You know, they say suicide effects at least one hundred

654
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 3: and thirty five people are up to one hundred and

655
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 3: thirty five people. I think the numbers far outweighs that

656
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 3: you can't put a number on someone's life. And yeah,

657
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 3: Dwayne's passing was was really the turning point in my life.

658
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 3: And I look at Dwayne's story in what I've learned

659
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: from it and up until that point in my life going.

660
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 3: I kind of have Dwayne to thank me for being

661
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 3: on the road that I'm on, because I don't know

662
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 3: that I'd be in this situation or even here today

663
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 3: if it wasn't for Dwayne, because I don't know where

664
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 3: I was going. I was going a very dark, dark place.

665
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 3: And I'd be lying if I said I don't have

666
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 3: dark thought not dark thoughts, but I'd be lying if

667
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 3: I said I didn't have bad thoughts or struggles sometimes

668
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 3: in my life. Still today, I do it. That's just me,

669
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 3: and that's good because I can manage it and I

670
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 3: can deal with it. I can talk about it. But

671
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 3: Dwayne's passing and that whole event and living starting was

672
00:32:55,600 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 3: really the turning point in my life that I could. Yeah, whatever,

673
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 3: whatever it is.

674
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I know that living has all come from

675
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: this experience. But thank you for sharing that so specifically.

676
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: Like ah, I was like, oh my, going to cry

677
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: right now, Like it was real. It's it's so confronting

678
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: even to hear it, so for you to share it

679
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: so clearly like that, and it must still be super

680
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: visceral for you.

681
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, of course it will be probably forever.

682
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: Definitely, it's a part of your heart. Yeah, you know,

683
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 2: not to get too hippie on you, but it's like,

684
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 2: I've heard you talk and I.

685
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: I've heard you talk about having suicide ideologies. I hope

686
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: I'm saying that correctly. And I'm pretty sure you said

687
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 1: that that's something that you've definitely experienced in the past

688
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: as well. And I think, because you know the stats

689
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: so well, that's something that's really quite common for humans.

690
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: Experience, the like just exploring the idea year of it.

691
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 2: Is that true? Like is that true? Is that something

692
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 2: that a lot of humans experience?

693
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, absolutely, they say, you know, and not the

694
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 3: quote the exact science and research here, because I'm a

695
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 3: bit of a stickler when it comes to facts and research.

696
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 3: I don't want to just to say it for the

697
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 3: sake of saying it and to make sure I'm right.

698
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 3: But they say a lot of people have thoughts of suicide.

699
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 3: Doesn't mean they're struggling with suicide or they're going to suicide,

700
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 3: if that makes sense. A lot of normal. When I

701
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 3: say normal, I mean just normal people who don't struggle

702
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 3: with mental illness or mental health challenges just might be

703
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,399
Speaker 3: a thought. It's not that they'd act on the thought though,

704
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 3: it's just thoughts, but they're able just to just pass

705
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 3: on and go to the next thing and just forget about,

706
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 3: like it really didn't even happen. And it's when I

707
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 3: say normal, I don't think normal is the right word

708
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 3: to say. Through life, yeah, some people do.

709
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, not to get too morbid on you,

710
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 1: but like, death is something we're all going to experience,

711
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 1: so I think like and I think in your thirties

712
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: you've come to it, and you for you, probably a

713
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: lot earlier because of the experience you've been through, but

714
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: you come like you mentioned that you saw you saw

715
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:11,720
Speaker 1: someone that you loved dead, and for people usually our age,

716
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,479
Speaker 1: like I've seen my grandparent like that, and that feels like, sure,

717
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: it's confronting and it's sad and it's grieving, but also

718
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: feels like part of the human experience. And so I

719
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 1: think there is a stage in your life. I would

720
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: argue for me, it's been my thirties, but I think

721
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 1: for you would have been in your twenties where you

722
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 1: have to.

723
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 2: Realize we're gonna die.

724
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: And so that's where I think that, like that concept

725
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: of having suicidal ideologies is like, well, we have to

726
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 1: face death mentally at some stage if we want to

727
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: be really clear, Like I think this whole experience is

728
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: totally fucked up. As confronting as it would have been

729
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 1: for you, it also would have like there are so

730
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: many positives to your relationship with Dwayne, like going to

731
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: the top, like giving it. You're all being clear on

732
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 1: who you are as a human, and I imagine that

733
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: would have given you even more resolve once, of course

734
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 1: you have. It sounds like you went through all like

735
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 1: healing and mental health support to come out the other.

736
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 2: Side of that early.

737
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.

738
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: But my first experience meeting you, I was like, Oh,

739
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: this guy's going to succeed no matter what. That was

740
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 1: the first feeling I got when we grabbed a coffee

741
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago. And I think, like, maybe your

742
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 1: resolve has come from losing something that you love so

743
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 1: dearly and having to sit and understand yourself at such

744
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,800
Speaker 1: a young age. Because did you get mental health support after?

745
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't have been straight away after Duane's passing.

746
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 3: I think I probably self medicated for a little while

747
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 3: and tried to keep busy to stay on top of

748
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 3: my thoughts. I didn't want to really to talk and

749
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 3: feel about them. Yeah, feel them. I just kept busy

750
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 3: to try and drown them out. But I eventually did. Yeah, absolutely,

751
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 3: And you know a lot of the things I've had

752
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 3: to explore over the years has been very beneficial to

753
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 3: my my personal growth, you know. And I've been able

754
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 3: to learn more about who I am, what ticks me,

755
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 3: what drives me, what doesn't drive me, what I'm interested in.

756
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: And I'm on this path for a reason, you know.

757
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 3: And Dwayne's death was horrific. And the thing is and

758
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 3: why we started living right is when Dwayne was having

759
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 3: a wake, we got shirts made up with his face

760
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 3: on it, and we sold them at the wake and

761
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: literally at one hundred and plus people there, everyone bought one.

762
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 3: We gave the money to his mum and dad. They

763
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 3: gave back to us, saying, just do something good with

764
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 3: the money. And that's where Livin started. Dwayne used to

765
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,879
Speaker 3: always say, we're living, man, We're living. And then him

766
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 3: and I had this little thing, We're going to the top,

767
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 3: and that's where the arrow came in and we're like, well,

768
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 3: let's just make this a thing. And it was just

769
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 3: a passion project. We just want to sell shirts to

770
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 3: raise awareness for suicide. You know. She was a prevention

771
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 3: and mental health awareness. And one thing led to the next,

772
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 3: the next thing led to the next, and then we

773
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 3: had support coming in from everywhere. We pitched it to

774
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 3: a legal firm, we went bono, got it to a charity,

775
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 3: and then ed sort of just took off and it

776
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 3: was more formal, and after two years working multiple jobs,

777
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 3: I was able to step away. I was the first

778
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 3: to step away from my current my job at the

779
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,279
Speaker 3: time to be employed by living full time. And then

780
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 3: Casey followed suit after he stepped out of his building

781
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 3: over to live in and then it was him and

782
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 3: I for a while, and then we started growing the

783
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 3: team and there's stories. It was born out of Dwayne's

784
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 3: passing and his situation and what that event was and

785
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 3: what it meant to everybody, but also what Liven means

786
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 3: to other people who might be struggling now, because I

787
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 3: know Dwayne being Dwayne, this is about other people. This

788
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 3: would be about other people. And there are a lot

789
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 3: of people very similar to Dwayne who have taken their

790
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: life or who are thinking about taking their life that

791
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 3: this is dedicated to. And that's what we need to

792
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:49,320
Speaker 3: do to make a difference.

793
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: And so I'll put all the in the show notes

794
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 1: like no livin dot org and you're all about educating

795
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 1: people and helping people.

796
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 2: I know there's resources as well.

797
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 1: Can I ask, and this is going to sound like

798
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 1: a celeb question, but how did you get it on?

799
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 1: Chris Hemsworth, because that that's how That's when I learned

800
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: about live And I.

801
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 2: Saw the photos of thor On, Yeah, I think he

802
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: was in a hood. How did that happen?

803
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:19,479
Speaker 3: So a friend of ours who was really good friends

804
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 3: with Dwayne, Charlie, he was. He's a Dolly grip first

805
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 3: Dolly grip On on feature films, working at Move where

806
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 3: he's made him on the thor film I Reckon we

807
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 3: could try and get theth hemsworth in the living gigs.

808
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 3: I wear it at work and he asked me what

809
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 3: it was about, So can you get us some gear

810
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 3: and send it to him and we'll give it to him,

811
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 3: and he did and then he just wore it on

812
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 3: set one day in Brisbane and it got all this

813
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 3: publicity because people thought it was like Kanye West's hoodie

814
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 3: and then it was who was that? Where was was living? Me?

815
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 3: Like what is it he's wearing? And then I got

816
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 3: heaps of publicity and we met Chris on set of

817
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 3: thor Casey and I went and met him to thank him,

818
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 3: thanks for his support. And he's very much involved. His

819
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 3: family is very much involved in another organization, which is great.

820
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 3: But we were just very grateful for his support of

821
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 3: wearing it. He's not an ambassador. I'd like to get

822
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 3: him on board as an ambassador one day, or you know,

823
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 3: are an advocate and help support their charities that they support,

824
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 3: but you never know. But we're just grateful for you

825
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 3: can get behind it and help spread the message.

826
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 2: I mean, it works, It definitely worked. One more thing.

827
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: Before we I really I've got a few other like

828
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: really fun things I want to talk. But before that,

829
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: I've seen you talk about toxic masculinity.

830
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 2: Sorry, I know it's so hot in here.

831
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 3: That's good Disauna podcast. I'm going to leave. He ripped.

832
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 1: So I've seen you talk about toxic masculinity, and I

833
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: think it's that I'm fine mentality and like well, especially

834
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: in the struct like I'm a NAUSI guy, like I'm

835
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: super masculine.

836
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 2: I'm the provider.

837
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: I cannot be perceived as weak, and your podcast is

838
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: called ain't weak to speak? So I guess can you

839
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: share a little bit about Because I love the way

840
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,479
Speaker 1: you spoke about toxic masculinity, can you share a little

841
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 1: bit about that?

842
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. My big belief around toxic masculinity is

843
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 3: it's an outdated model that people still, for some reason

844
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,760
Speaker 3: live by. This traditional, outdated model of masculinity is costing

845
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 3: people their lives, especially young man. And I want people

846
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,919
Speaker 3: to challenge that and try and bring in something fresh

847
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,320
Speaker 3: and new, because this is a new generation, new people

848
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 3: understanding things differently. We're hooked up differently these days than

849
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 3: what we were thirty years ago, you know what I mean.

850
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 3: We've got more information, we've got more things going on,

851
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 3: So let's change the way we think about conversations. And

852
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm a big believer that these conversations

853
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 3: need to start from yourself, from within, and in order

854
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 3: to do that, I think it's important to be vulnerable

855
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 3: within yourself to a certain point because people are probably

856
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 3: listening or probably thinking, well, it is weak to speak,

857
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 3: or you say it ain't weak to speak, but how

858
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,399
Speaker 3: do I do that? I think it's important to have

859
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 3: these hard, vulnerable conversations and be honest with yourself first,

860
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 3: and then create that safe space so that other people

861
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 3: can be safe and open with you on a deeper

862
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 3: level about how they're actually feeling. Because you might often

863
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 3: hear well, why don't you just tell someone how you feel?

864
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 3: Why can't you just talk to someone? Unfortunately, people can't

865
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 3: just talk to people. Okay, you have to feel like

866
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 3: you're getting You have to feel like these people understand

867
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 3: you to some level, they get you, they trust you.

868
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 3: So what I challenge people to do, and this is

869
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 3: part of this new model of masculinity, is becoming the

870
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 3: safest person possible so that people around you, a guy,

871
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: a friend that you'd be at a pub with, a

872
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 3: knock about bloke that would normally say, harden up. He

873
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 3: knows that you're safe, you've been vulnerable, you talk about

874
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 3: your challenges. Whether it's perceived strong or whatever else doesn't

875
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 3: really matter. At least that person now knows that this

876
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 3: alpha male of the group or whoever it was, is

877
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 3: now sharing about his experiences and talking about in an

878
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 3: open forum. It's like he's became a leader in that

879
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 3: field now of the new model of masculinity. And it

880
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 3: gives the chances to these other people who are sitting

881
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 3: within the group or somewhere in the group that might

882
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 3: be sitting there holding their emotions, hiding it because they're

883
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 3: worried about what one of the boys might think about it.

884
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 3: Totally be safe. I challenge you to be safe because

885
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 3: you'll get the help that you need if you're struggling.

886
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 3: But you're also going to I'm looking for the right

887
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 3: word here, but you're you're really.

888
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: Gonna you're creating a say, you are.

889
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 3: Going to create that safe area for someone else to

890
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 3: come to you, yeah, and have those conversations with you

891
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:38,959
Speaker 3: that they might not have had with anyone else.

892
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: I love hearing you say this because as I'm sitting

893
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: opposite you talking to you like you've got the whole

894
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 1: alpha male stick. Physically, a voice is a lower register,

895
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: and it's like you are like a though, like you

896
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 1: are a bit of a superhero archetype character. And so

897
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 1: to hear you talk so openly and like probe vulnerability

898
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 1: is so bad testament to you and your podcast and

899
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: everything that you're doing with Live In, because I think

900
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 1: it's so great that you're spreading a message about vulnerability

901
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: on a personal level, but also just like I think

902
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: people seeing someone like you be super open and vulnerable

903
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: is so powerful.

904
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, no one's bulletproof out there, So stop stop

905
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 3: trying to be fake and hold the shit behind, because

906
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 3: it's only going to cost you in your own life.

907
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 3: Like you're not going to advance if you're just going

908
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 3: to keep putting facades on or pretending everything is going

909
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,760
Speaker 3: to be all right, because deep down, the truth always

910
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: comes out one way or another, whether it's abuse, whether

911
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 3: it's abusing drugs or alcohol, or whether it's anger, whatever

912
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: it is. Just start having those truthful conversations. And if

913
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 3: you can't have them with someone in your life, you

914
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 3: don't have anyone that you trust, have them with yourself.

915
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 3: It's about starting to be in acceptance and understanding that

916
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 3: this is a journey and that no one's life is perfect.

917
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 3: I don't care who's life listening to this podcast. I'm

918
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 3: very I'm honest, I'm open. I'll tell it how it

919
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 3: is and I'll be challenged and if I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

920
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 3: But no one's life is perfect. I've never met someone

921
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 3: that said my life is perfect and it's pain free

922
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 3: and it's issue free just because they've got money or

923
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 3: they're successful. Their life is littered with problems. And people

924
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 3: need to understand this and not get the fake ideologies

925
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 3: or ideas that looking at social media and websites and

926
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: podcasts that people's lives are always good, because they're not.

927
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,360
Speaker 3: No one's life is. We need to start bringing people

928
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 3: back to reality, because that's what life is all about.

929
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,240
Speaker 3: If your heart hasn't been broken, you haven't lived.

930
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 2: It's a human experience.

931
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: You're meant to feel pain, and it makes like the

932
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,759
Speaker 1: good times. You're like, WHOA, I've come out of that

933
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: darkness and now I'm having this really positive experience, like

934
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 1: it's yin and yang. One doesn't exist without the other.

935
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: I don't think can we talk about acting we can?

936
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: I'd love to Oh that's what we nerded out.

937
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 3: I can talk about this for an hour if you want.

938
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:03,240
Speaker 2: So those are so okay. You're an Aussie actor.

939
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 1: You I had a lot of fun watching your or

940
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 1: your Neighbors scenes are on or a lot of them

941
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: are on YouTube.

942
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 3: So your name was fringeworthy?

943
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 1: No, no, yeah, Manux Foster, you're kind of a bit

944
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: of a baddie and yeah, a good place, but it

945
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 1: was it was his history like drugs.

946
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 3: Drug got ext trafficking, you know, just the slinging dive.

947
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: Here and that right in Australia, and like most of

948
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 1: our listeners are Australian obviously, like Neighbors and Home and

949
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: Away are like the two pinnacles of the soapies in

950
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: Australia to get on, Like Neighbors is where Margot Robbie

951
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 1: came from. Home and Away is where Chris Hemsworth come

952
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 1: has come from. So you like you've hit the holy

953
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: grail of ossie TV and soaps. I know that was

954
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 1: I think your second time auditioning for Neighbors. When you

955
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: got how like how did it feel when you got on?

956
00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 2: How long? Like did how long did you have to

957
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 2: learn your line? How did it feel on set.

958
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 1: Did you get any prep time with the other actors

959
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 1: or is it like learn the lines?

960
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 2: Be on?

961
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 3: Yeah? So great questions. And I think for anyone listening

962
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,359
Speaker 3: that's inspiring to be an actor and all that sort

963
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 3: of stuff keep going. So it's hard. I'm very grateful

964
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 3: to even have those opportunities to get there, and I'll

965
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 3: cherish them forever. I'll never forget where I started, you know,

966
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 3: as a young guy struggling. I'll never forget that. But

967
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 3: with film and TV, especially Neighbors. Right when I got

968
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 3: cast and I knew I booked the job, I was like,

969
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 3: this is amazing. It was like awesome, Okay, but now

970
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 3: the work starts. It's like, all right, you've booked it.

971
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 3: That is huge. You're going to be on Neighbors, you

972
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 3: know what I mean. But now the actual work starts,

973
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 3: which for me, a big challenge in my craft was

974
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 3: always trying to memorize lines. So for me, I like

975
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 3: to be a bit more. I like to be prepared

976
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 3: as best as I can for certain things and for acting.

977
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 3: I wanted to be prepared as best as I can.

978
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 3: But one thing I was grappling with is you can't

979
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,800
Speaker 3: don't always you can't have the act comes to everything

980
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 3: in life. You can try your best to be prepared,

981
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 3: but you got to get throwed curveballs and it could

982
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 3: be something completely different. I just wanted to learn my lines,

983
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 3: get them down fully, understanding exactly what I was trying

984
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 3: to get across, what message I was trying to convey,

985
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 3: making sure I turned up on set on time, and

986
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 3: I was very professional and I was very easy to

987
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 3: work with. That were the things I wanted to stick by.

988
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 3: Being the first person set. I didn't want to come

989
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 3: across like I'm an intruder, A lab mouth. Is this

990
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,760
Speaker 3: guy I think he is? I was a sam Web.

991
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 3: I'm coming in. I'm serious. I want to work the

992
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 3: best I can. I want to get good feedback, and

993
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 3: I also want to learn from other actors on set,

994
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 3: and I want to respect the show I was on.

995
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 3: It's been around for a lot of years, so I

996
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 3: wanted to respect that as best as I could. So

997
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 3: that's basically what I did. I didn't It wasn't so much.

998
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 3: No prep time was all my own time at home

999
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 3: or before I got to set. As soon as you

1000
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 3: get the set, you're checking in, you're sitting in the

1001
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 3: green room, you're meeting the actors, you get called, you

1002
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 3: go to make up, You get the makeup, you sit

1003
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 3: in the green room, then you get called to your set,

1004
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,800
Speaker 3: and then basically when you're a set, you're do a

1005
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 3: little bit of blocking. Yeah. Some of the directors I

1006
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 3: worked with, it was like, you do the blocking and

1007
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,800
Speaker 3: chat about the scene, do a couple of line runs,

1008
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 3: just holding you holding your sides, and that's great, and

1009
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:12,240
Speaker 3: then it's just like action. Yeah. And because it's Neighbors

1010
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 3: and in Away all these shows, they're very fast. So

1011
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 3: sometimes there was a director I worked with, Kate Kendall.

1012
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 3: She's awesome because she's an actor's director. She worked as

1013
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 3: an actor on the show and now she's a director.

1014
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 3: We got the chance to talk about more about intentions

1015
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 3: and objectives and try and play up a bit in

1016
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 3: the scene, go against what it's look more of the subtext.

1017
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,240
Speaker 3: That's where I learned most. But some of the other directors,

1018
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 3: you're moving so quick, you're just doing it and you go, fact,

1019
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 3: that was so bad. I want to do it again,

1020
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 3: But they just don't do it again. It's just the

1021
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 3: way it is. Yeah, you know what I mean. But

1022
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 3: I'm a student of life. And I'm learning every day.

1023
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,399
Speaker 1: How long would it be so when you get sent

1024
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: your script, how long have you got to be off

1025
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: book like to learn your lines?

1026
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 3: So i'd get my script probably the week before. Okay,

1027
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 3: it's doable, Yeah, very doable. And then you see how

1028
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 3: many scenes are in, and then I just prioritize what

1029
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 3: scenes I'm in first on the block where I'm showing

1030
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 3: up what scenes because as you know, acting isn't always

1031
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 3: in chronological order, so it's not like you shoot the

1032
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 3: first scene first and it goes through the script like that.

1033
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 3: Like I was shooting the climax scenes first and then

1034
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 3: going back to the start, and I was like, oh, okay,

1035
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 3: this is great because I'm learning. I didn't realize this.

1036
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 3: You're not really taught that in acting school. So being

1037
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 3: on set is definitely been super helpful and being on

1038
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 3: a show that that is very I'm very grateful. But again,

1039
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 3: I've got so much to learn, and that's why I'm

1040
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 3: back at acting classes here in LA with you.

1041
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 2: Yes, So I.

1042
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,840
Speaker 1: Love like, I love learning out about acting stuff with you.

1043
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,879
Speaker 1: So I know you've got a history of you've been

1044
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: in theater as well back home, But what's the like

1045
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: what's what would be the ultimate dream gig for you?

1046
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 2: You're in LA You're in the land of dreams.

1047
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I'm I think the biggest challenge was

1048
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 3: getting here setting up shop. So I feel like I've

1049
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 3: finally managed to do that. So it's still yeah, it's

1050
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 3: it's hard. There's a lot of hard work to go.

1051
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 3: But I think just getting here for us in Australia

1052
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:08,320
Speaker 3: or if it's a UK, there's a lot of barriers

1053
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 3: for entry, right. My ultimate goal would be, you know,

1054
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 3: in films obviously, but I also want to be a

1055
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 3: filmmaker at some point in my life. I think that's

1056
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 3: just the creativity. But definitely now I'd love to be

1057
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,839
Speaker 3: in films. That would be like a I just love

1058
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 3: exploring different people, not being so hung up about me

1059
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 3: and in my body. I want to experience empathy and

1060
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 3: understand what other people may feel and use my thoughts

1061
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 3: of how to transform that into their life, because I

1062
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 3: think that's what acting is really all about. It's acting

1063
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 3: truthful and imaginary circumstances. So for me, I just want

1064
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 3: to be truthful but also explore what it could be

1065
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,879
Speaker 3: like to be a murderer or explore what it could

1066
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 3: be like to be a felon of some kind, or

1067
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 3: to whatever it is, you know. I just love the

1068
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 3: idea of creating films would be the pinnacle for me.

1069
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 3: But again, I'm happy to just act. I could just

1070
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:08,399
Speaker 3: act in acting classes for the rest of my life.

1071
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 3: I'm happy I don't have to be making millions of

1072
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 3: dollars to do it because I actually genuinely love doing it.

1073
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 3: It's very therapeutic for me, and it gives me a

1074
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:18,919
Speaker 3: sense of peace that I don't often get in many

1075
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: other areas of my life. That's what I love.

1076
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: I also feel like acting and acting training is a

1077
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 1: study of human behavior, and that's where that like, where

1078
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: you get to try on all these different personality types

1079
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 1: that might not.

1080
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: Be normally within you.

1081
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 1: But one thing I've learned at acting school is I

1082
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 1: know that I'm drawn to other characters over Like, if

1083
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: I get a really like like a really sad or

1084
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 1: really heavy scene, I'm like, oh, here we go.

1085
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 2: This is a real challenge.

1086
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 1: If I get a fiery scene or a funny scene

1087
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 1: or comedy.

1088
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my goodness, I like it.

1089
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 1: Fully we were talking about before carbonates me, but they're

1090
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: really like heavy and depressing and like my teacher will

1091
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 1: always be like you're too you're too fiery, Like you're

1092
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 1: bringing too much of Lola to this character. So like,

1093
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 1: it's great to be challenged, but I think it's also

1094
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,280
Speaker 1: really cool to learn what your best skill sets are,

1095
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: like what you suit like, I could totally see you

1096
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 1: in a Marvel movie.

1097
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 3: Okay, that's great, Yeah.

1098
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. Okay. I have to ask this.

1099
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 1: I know you've been asked before, and I know we've

1100
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 1: got some similarities in this, Like question a favorite movie.

1101
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 3: I've got so many favorite movies, but my favorite movie.

1102
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,680
Speaker 1: I think it might be the same as mine.

1103
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 2: I don't know what you're going to say.

1104
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 3: I've got Rippers, Yes, Blood Diamond, Dark Knight, and Point

1105
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,560
Speaker 3: Break the original og one.

1106
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 2: Have you seen the second remat No?

1107
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 3: I didn't even bother.

1108
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 1: It's it's worth seeing it if you're into extreme sports.

1109
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I just want to stay with my my

1110
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 3: Patrick's ways. Yes, yeah, and Counters so but that and

1111
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,399
Speaker 3: there's so many eight films out there. I've been watching

1112
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,400
Speaker 3: a lot of black and white films lately. I've been

1113
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:08,400
Speaker 3: watching a lot of Stanley Kubrick and Marlon Brando films

1114
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 3: and James Dean and whatever else. I just love that

1115
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 3: because it's very nostalgic and it takes you back in

1116
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 3: a time when I didn't even exist. But it's really cool.

1117
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 3: Filmmaking is great, and I'm becoming more and more obsessed

1118
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 3: with not just acting, but the actual art of filmmaking

1119
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 3: in itself.

1120
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,240
Speaker 2: Totally. What about actor, I feel.

1121
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:32,040
Speaker 3: Like, favorite actor? I've got a few. I'd probably say

1122
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 3: Leonardo DiCaprio is probably my favorite actor. Yeah, yeah, probably. Yeah.

1123
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 3: Heath Ledger was great. I liked his the way he

1124
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 3: could just be someone that he wasn't, but he'd always

1125
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 3: leave parts of himself in each of those characters, which

1126
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 3: I think we all do. But he's just he's unreal,

1127
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 3: hands down, Heath Ledgard it today.

1128
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm a huge fan.

1129
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, but there are a lot of great actors out there,

1130
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 3: you know, there's I don't think i'd want to just yeah.

1131
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,480
Speaker 3: I think everyone's so unique. Everyone brings no one's one person,

1132
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 3: and you can.

1133
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 1: Go through a phase of like so, one of my

1134
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 1: favorite movies that hasn't made your list is The Gentleman,

1135
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 1: which is a guy Ritchie movie, and it's got Matthew

1136
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 1: McCartney and Charlie Hannam Dreamboat, but also like Colin. I

1137
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: think it's Colin Farrell is in it and he is

1138
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 1: like steals the whole movie and he's in it for

1139
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 1: probably seven minutes. You know, like those kind of and

1140
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 1: then you then you go down that rabbit hole of

1141
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: like discovering that actor and you're like, oh wow, you know,

1142
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 1: like so I feel like you go through phases with

1143
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:44,879
Speaker 1: actors like I went through a real Ozark Jason Bateman fan,

1144
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 1: and then went back and watched all of the rested

1145
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 1: development because I love that style of content and shows.

1146
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 3: Okay, so much awesome. Yeah, I love it and there's

1147
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 3: so much inspiration.

1148
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 2: I want to end on.

1149
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 1: I heard you say, and you've referred to this in

1150
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,879
Speaker 1: regards to your acting training about working hard, and you've

1151
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 1: said the hardest workers in the room get the job.

1152
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 2: Would you say that's something you live by?

1153
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 3: Maybe tweak it a little bit, Okay, let's take it.

1154
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:16,959
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1155
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 3: I think I'm a big believer that we all are

1156
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 3: Every human being is talented at something, and that's just

1157
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,320
Speaker 3: being honest. But what that something is could be different

1158
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 3: for everyone. I think acting is a craft that people

1159
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:38,359
Speaker 3: can train to get talented in yes, but if you're

1160
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 3: not a hard worker, that talent's just going to stay stagnated.

1161
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,720
Speaker 3: I think the harder workers will eventually get that talent,

1162
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,200
Speaker 3: and they will eventually get that job because they work

1163
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,279
Speaker 3: harder than just the talent. I don't think talent on

1164
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 3: its own is going to bring your success because you

1165
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 3: could be a lazy talented person. You know, you're throwing

1166
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 3: away your talents. Heaps of people do that all the time.

1167
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:01,200
Speaker 2: It's common in actors exactly.

1168
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 3: And I really do believe. I'm not talking about the

1169
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 3: Rocks mentality of eighteen nineteen hours a day and you're

1170
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 3: going to be a successful actor or business person. I'm

1171
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 3: not saying that, but I am saying be a hard worker.

1172
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 3: I'm a hard worker because I've had to work most

1173
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 3: of my life to support myself and financially and everything else.

1174
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,320
Speaker 3: So and in order for me to get better at this,

1175
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 3: I need to work harder than what I'm currently doing

1176
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 3: because I'm not currently working. So there's something I could

1177
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 3: be doing better, and that's working more, working better at

1178
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 3: my craft, spending more time on my accent, going to

1179
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 3: different teachers, understanding what they're doing right and what's not

1180
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 3: working for me. There's so many things you could do,

1181
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 3: but you've also got to be realistic too. There's only

1182
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 3: so many hours in the day. I don't want to

1183
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 3: tie my eggs up all in one basket. I've got

1184
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 3: other commitments in my life that I've got to do,

1185
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 3: So it's about finding that balance.

1186
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 1: I was I had a lot of fun watching your

1187
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:57,919
Speaker 1: vlogs with you and Nuts and your quarantine vlog where

1188
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:00,920
Speaker 1: you would because obviously in Australia as afer time zone,

1189
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 1: and so you kind of like get up exercise, do

1190
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 1: your acting training for like an hour or so, and

1191
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: dialect work because us ozsies have to have a good

1192
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: general American and then come four pm LA time, which

1193
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 1: is nine am Ossie time, then you click into an

1194
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:19,600
Speaker 1: Australian work day. And I liked that you I love

1195
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 1: that you shared that. I was like, oh, I'm going

1196
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 1: to like get all of my Americana work because usually

1197
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 1: what I'll do is kind of chill the first half

1198
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: of the day and then I'll click into work mode

1199
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 1: at three usually because I'm prepping for all my Australian

1200
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 1: work to click in. But it is really handy if

1201
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 1: you kind of like structure it right out so that

1202
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 1: you're making the most of your time.

1203
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 3: You know exactly it's important. But one thing I do

1204
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 3: want to add to the work ethic side of thing.

1205
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 3: Work ethic is important, but I've realized over the years

1206
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 3: and especially now, and I want to share this is

1207
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 3: you can have a great work ethic and be talented,

1208
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 3: but if your mental health is lacking, I think it's

1209
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 3: all going to lack. I've been really trying to focus

1210
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 3: on setting up every day correctly for me, and that

1211
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 3: consists of self care. I'm a big self care person.

1212
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 3: Of between say six am and say nine nine thirty

1213
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 3: am is all doing things that are going to set

1214
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 3: me up for a great day. And if I miss

1215
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 3: those that period, it's generally a red zone. It's not

1216
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 3: a good place to be for my day. My day

1217
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 3: is never as good if my mornings aren't perfected. And

1218
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,959
Speaker 3: in saying that, I'm pretty agile, so I'm on the road.

1219
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 3: I still I'm disciplined enough to prioritize my meditation or

1220
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:35,040
Speaker 3: my exercise and my getting up early and reading and

1221
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 3: stuff like that, you know what I mean. So I

1222
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 3: feel like that for me, in order to advance my career,

1223
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 3: I've realized that my mental health and physical health needs

1224
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 3: to be at the top of its game otherwise I

1225
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 3: won't last anyway. So that's the honest truth.

1226
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 1: I love that because I think that where I studied

1227
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: at acting school in Australia, they were like, treat this

1228
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 1: like your training for the Olympics, and I like that.

1229
00:59:57,880 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: You're like, well, I need to be disciplined enough to

1230
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 1: get these is self care practices, whether it be exercise,

1231
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 1: good food, meditation. You mentioned reading, Like I've got dialect

1232
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 1: exercises I do every day, you know.

1233
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:10,280
Speaker 3: I like that.

1234
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 1: You're like, well, that's just part of my every day.

1235
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 1: And then I click on to like whatever I need

1236
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 1: to get done from a work capacity with lib and

1237
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: stuff and probably like getting lines down and all these

1238
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 1: other kind of things that just have to get done

1239
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 1: that are on a timeline. But you've still got this

1240
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 1: specific window that's like, that's my non negotiable. And you

1241
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 1: and I've both spoken about therapy, your super pro therapy

1242
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:32,000
Speaker 1: as well.

1243
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, it's a big part of my plan. Yeah,

1244
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 3: even at the top of my like even when I'm

1245
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 3: really feeling great and I'm not overthinking things, I'm more

1246
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 3: in control of the things that I can control, and

1247
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 3: I'm letting go of the things that don't matter. I

1248
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 3: still prioritize that stuff, and speaking to a mental health professional,

1249
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 3: in my mind, is important because I don't just stop

1250
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 3: going and learning lines just because I know how to

1251
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:00,720
Speaker 3: read them now or I understand doesn't mean I can

1252
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 3: understand every script. I don't stop going to the gym

1253
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 3: because I can do twenty push ups and ten sit

1254
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 3: ups or whatever it is. I keep going because I

1255
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 3: just want to maintain that and get better. That's why

1256
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 3: I don't give up on the mental health training as well.

1257
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 2: I love it. I could talk to you all day,

1258
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 2: my friend. You are wondering why let's steal podswap, Now,

1259
01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 2: let's do it. I can't wait. Thank you.

1260
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1261
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 1: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1262
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 1: on Instagram.

1263
01:01:33,280 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 2: I'm at Yamo Lollaberry.

1264
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 1: This potty my word for podcast is available on all

1265
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 1: streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate

1266
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: and comment, and of course spread the love.