1 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome to Outspoken. You're joined by journalists Amy 2 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: Sophie and Kate Torbo. Now today we've decided to dub 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 1: our episode He's just not that into You. So today 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: we're going to dissect what we've all learned about the 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 1: dating world now we're thirty and hopefully given insight into 6 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: how you can find a nice man after putting up 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: with some dickheads. And I'm sure we can all relate 8 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,159 Speaker 1: to that. Can't be putting up with dickheads, especially you, 9 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: Kate very much so not currently obviously in the past. 10 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: So we're going to be dissecting a few topics, and 11 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: of course we're going to share so some pretty embarrassing 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: stories along the way. I thought we should first start 13 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: off by addressing some signs that maybe he's just not 14 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: that into you. I feel like, when you're twenty, you 15 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 1: start your Google all these things, or why doesn't he 16 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: like me? What should I do? So? If you're just 17 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: opening up about her past Google, I feel like everyone 18 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: does it, though, Well, what are some of these signs? Well, 19 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: I think a major one that I've learned along the 20 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: way is if you're the one initiating all of the dates. Yeah, 21 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: definitely been there, done that many times. It's the worst 22 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: feeling because I feel like they initiate the first date 23 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,639 Speaker 1: and then you know, you have a few good dates, 24 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: and then this always seems to happen to me. I'm 25 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: then the one sort of setting up the dates and 26 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 1: sort of having to be on their back about it. 27 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: I think that's quite common though. I've seen a lot 28 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,839 Speaker 1: of people and heard a lot of people talking about 29 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 1: how they'll have this amazing date and then the guy 30 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: will just basically ghost them or they will have to 31 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: do all of the chasing. Do you guys think it's 32 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: a power play in the early you know, in the 33 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: start of a relationship, or is it just someone that's 34 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: not into you. At the time I thought it was, 35 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: I thought, oh, you know, this is just the normal 36 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: back and forth, because it's happened quite a bit to me. 37 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: But now that I'm actually in a good relationship and 38 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: that shit didn't go on at the start, I actually 39 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: do think it's a sign that the person isn't into you, 40 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: or that they've got other options and you're not very 41 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: high up on those options. Yeah, that's the thing. If 42 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: a man really likes you, he's got going to want 43 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: to see you all the time. He's going to be 44 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: wanting to come up with nice dates and things to do. 45 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: And at the time, if you do like someone, you 46 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 1: do want to believe that there must be a reason 47 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: that they're always busy, that you know, maybe they don't 48 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: have any date ideas. It's a pretty obvious sign, you know, 49 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,399 Speaker 1: when they go like hours and hours without replying, because 50 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: let's be honest, everyone's got their phone super glued to 51 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: their hands. Yeah, what are the other signs? Well, I 52 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: mean this seems pretty obvious, but maybe not when you're twenty. 53 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: That if he's not interested in things you do or like, 54 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: and quite frankly, the only thing he's interested in his sex, 55 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: it's a pretty big sign that he is only looking 56 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: for one thing. What else have we got? Well, another 57 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: major sign, and it does sound pretty obvious, is that 58 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: he's never done anything nice for you whatsoever. Sometime my 59 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: whole like four to five year relationship with my ex boyfriend, 60 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,399 Speaker 1: and I think it is hard when maybe you don't 61 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: feel great about yourself, you don't expect these things. I 62 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 1: think as you grow older you do expect more out 63 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 1: of our liationship and you just think someone meeting up 64 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: with you is enough. Well, I'm going to put it 65 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: out there. It's slightly embarrassing. But at thirty years of age, 66 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: well actually I was twenty nine. I received my first 67 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: and only ever Valentine's Day flowers from my now boyfriend. 68 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: And that is despite having a boyfriend for five years. Yeah, yeah, 69 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: he didn't believe in Valentine's Day. I don't know, and 70 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: it's just a dickhead. And you know, this guy also 71 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: forgot my birthday and then pretty big one, and then 72 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: he was in we were doing long distance at the time. 73 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: He was in Melbourne, and then he decided that he 74 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: would come over for my birthday party, which was the 75 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 1: week after my birthday, and I chipped in for the 76 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: flights for him to come across. And he didn't bring 77 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: me a birthday president and said, oh me coming across 78 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: was your birthday present, then proceeded to ruin my birthday. 79 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: Now I'm not party. He also never gave you a compliment? 80 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: Did he like? Not one? But do you think that's 81 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: what made you like him more? The fact that sometimes 82 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: when you were together, he you know, when he was 83 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: slightly nice. It felt so good to get that reassurance 84 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: or you know, or not in reassurance, but for him 85 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: to actually be nice because he was so awful most 86 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: of the time. Yeah, I suppose it's hard to reflect 87 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: on because you know, it's sort of is pretty an 88 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 1: indictment of you when you're talking about these things that 89 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: you used to put up with. But he was my 90 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: first boyfriend, and this was coming off the back of, 91 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: you know, not a great time at high school, confidence 92 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: being pretty low, so it really was a case of yeah, 93 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 1: I hadn't experienced anything different, so it was kind of like, oh, 94 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: you know, I can change him, and you know, I'll 95 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: get this tiny, little nice bit of him and then 96 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: it just gets taken away. So I think it was 97 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: more of a toxic continuous Well that's the thing as well, 98 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: because in our society, it seems quite unusual, especially when 99 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: you're in your early twenties, for men to actually want 100 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: to be in a relationship, and I think a lot 101 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: of them display that kind of player behavior. So it 102 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: does make you feel special when they've chosen to spend 103 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: their time with you, and I feel you just get 104 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: used to being treated that way because that's all you've 105 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: ever known. I suppose one big red flag that I 106 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 1: picked up on was the fact that my ex boyfriend 107 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,279 Speaker 1: had such a reluctancy to call me his girlfriend, Like 108 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 1: it literally took I don't even know what was it, 109 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: like two years again, it's an indictmond on me. But 110 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: and do you know what, I've noticed that on a 111 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: lot of reality shows that some of these stunning people 112 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: will go on and they'll say, oh, I've never had 113 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: a boyfriend or a girlfriend before, and people look at 114 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: them like they're weird. But I feel like, because people 115 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: are in that mindset where they just want to be 116 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: players and not be not settled down, that it is 117 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: rare to find a boyfriend that wants more. I think, 118 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: as Leanne from Love Island put it, she's been in 119 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: lots of situationships, but not actual relationships. And it's so 120 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: true because you can date these people for so long 121 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: and there's just like no label, you know, you just 122 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: go with the flow and you don't want to actually ask, 123 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: Like it's such an awkward thing to be, like, oh, 124 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: I think what we like boyfriend and girlfriend. It's almost 125 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: like a proposal these day. Asking someone to be your 126 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: Girlfriend's so funny because my now boyfriend brand and he 127 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: didn't realize that he had to ask me to be 128 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: his girlfriend, like that's a thing. Hey, Well, I said 129 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: to him, Well, we had the discussion of what we were, 130 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, I automatically assumed that I was 131 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,160 Speaker 1: your boyfriend because he'd been hanging out for a few weeks. Look, 132 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 1: that was shocking for me, because, yeah, your situation was 133 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: different because you literally became boyfriend and girlfriend after the 134 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 1: first date, really, which is so unusual. It was after 135 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: a few weeks, but that had been that came off 136 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: the back of dating someone who for three months didn't 137 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: want to call me their girlfriend or make any sort 138 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: of title, and then he had some elaborate you know, 139 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: brought me this bunch of flowers to ask me to 140 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: be his girlfriend. So I don't know, I mean, in 141 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: your previous relationship. Yeah, but isn't I feel like it's 142 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: just an excuse to talk to other girls, and without 143 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: putting a label on it, to be fair, I think 144 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: it's different if you've known the person, as in Sophie 145 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: previously was sort of in a friend sort of she 146 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: knew her boyfriend. Should we put it? Should we have 147 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 1: we explained how Sophie met No, I don't think so 148 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: so funny enough, Brandon used to be my intern when 149 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: I was working at the Thunderbirds and he we've all 150 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: joke that Sophie's a cougar. So he's five years younger. 151 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: He's four and a half. Oh oh my god, he is. 152 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: Wait so you're wait, but you're turning thirty one and 153 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: he's currently twenty six twenty six Yeah, his birthdays in 154 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: October what so okay, sorry, four and a half years 155 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: younger anyway, So I was also premature straws anyway. Anyway, 156 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: So yeah, when I was a comms manager the Thunderbired's 157 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: Brandon was my intern, and he went on to get 158 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: a full time job and then we moved actually and 159 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: worked together full time for another what three years in 160 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: total at yes, thirty six six eight was literally his 161 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: work wife, and then Sophie his not wife. I had 162 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: a different work husband. Yeah, but anyway, anyway, so yeah, 163 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: it's quite funny. So Brandon one day was like he 164 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: saw Sophie at a Thunderbirds game and was like, Oh, 165 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: your sister's hot, and like we're obviously because we're identical. 166 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: I was like, this is a bit all good. I 167 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,679 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, anyway, So he literally from the moment 168 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: he saw Sophie at the game had eyes only for 169 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: her and did tell me that when he first saw 170 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: me at the stadium that he fell in love with me. 171 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: Then I'm glad. Can I just add it on? I 172 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: thought it was love at first sight? Can I at him? 173 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: I'm highly offended because I met Brandon before Sophie as 174 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: your sister, and we hung out and we actually had 175 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: a lot in common, as in, we all love video stuff. 176 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: I wasn't interested at all, but I love that. I 177 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: love that. No, I was interested, but I wasn't interested 178 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: at all. But you know, it worked out well that 179 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: he was interested Sophie. He never said any of that 180 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: stuff about me. Well, I copped it so much at 181 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: work because everyone just thinks it was so funny that, like, 182 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,719 Speaker 1: Brandon was working with me full time but then dating Sophie, 183 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: And there were so many times when I had to 184 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: be like, look, we're not dating he's dating my sister. 185 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: I think from there, so you should explain your first 186 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: date with Brandon. And we've been talking for a few weeks, 187 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: and it was kind of awkward because he had told 188 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: Kate a lot about his ex girlfriend and he had 189 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 1: been with this girl for four years and basically she 190 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: kind of she dumped him over Facebook. Over Facebook, yep. 191 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: I mean they were pretty young at the time, so 192 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: there are girls out there that are obviously really mean 193 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: to boys as well. Yeah, so she led him on 194 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,679 Speaker 1: for a few months that you know, maybe she'd want 195 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: to get back with him, and then she invited him 196 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: to her house and to tell him that she had 197 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: a new boyfriend. So but this was while she was 198 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: like kind of dating him again. Well I'm not really. 199 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: They've kind of been talking on and off anyway, and 200 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: he backed that up by telling her that he was engaged. 201 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 1: I told him that I don't think she ever would 202 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: have believed that. Well, the best bit was this got 203 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 1: really crazy. So when Brandon and I were working together, 204 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: we had to go down to the airport and there 205 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: were some Thunderbirds international players that were arriving in Adelaide 206 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: was like eight o'clock at night, so we had to 207 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: film them arriving and interview them. And the funniest thing 208 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: has happened. We're standing at the international gate and all 209 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: of a sudden, Brandon's ex girlfriend is getting off a 210 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: flight from Europe, and Brandon's like oh my god. And 211 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 1: at the same time, obviously, these two Thunderbirds players are 212 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,560 Speaker 1: walking off, so Brandon's trying to film and the ex 213 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 1: girlfriend walks straight up and tries to hug him, and 214 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: I was like, keep bolming, keep helming. So he has 215 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: to shrug this girl off and she's probably thinking, oh, 216 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: he's come to see me, like maybe he wants to 217 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,439 Speaker 1: get back with me. And then the funniest thing was 218 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 1: he then had to go talk because her parents are there, 219 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: go talk to them, and then he came back over 220 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: to me and my friend Adam, and as he's walking up, 221 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: he puts his arm around my shoulder and goes, just 222 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 1: don't do anything, keep walking. So he told them that 223 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,079 Speaker 1: I was his fiance. And it's so funny because we've 224 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 1: got this like love hate brother sister relationship where like 225 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: we don't touch it obviously at all, like we just 226 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: don't want it to be near each other. And I 227 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: was like, get off me, and it was just it 228 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: was just like a TV show, like you couldn't even 229 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 1: come up with this shit. Well that night, we'd only 230 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: been talking at this stage, and he messages me to say, 231 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: you're my fiance now. So we've had we had this 232 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: on running joke that I was the girl, even though 233 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 1: it was Kate who he'd been now like engaged to whatever, 234 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: So if he already was a bit full on at 235 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: that stage when we started speaking and anyway, he told 236 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,439 Speaker 1: me he was over in Bali, and I thought, oh, 237 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 1: he's in Bali, you probably won't speak to me much. 238 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: Spoke to me twenty four to seven and he told 239 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 1: me that he had three tiers of dates that he 240 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 1: takes girls on. And it's pretty funny because we went 241 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 1: to read these messages back on our anniversary and we 242 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: were just both like cringing, So you have to scroll 243 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: pack a fuck Fairwell, I was gonna say, I remember 244 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: after like when you guys have been dating for a while, 245 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: going out for a while. Literally his date was just 246 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: like sitting and eating food in this room. Tears food, 247 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: he did, What food is that? He did say there 248 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: were three level levels of dates. I had to go 249 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 1: back to find them. He said, one was chilled. Then 250 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: that's that is that like Netflix and chill? He said, 251 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,679 Speaker 1: Shield is like your average movie night, not bad? Is 252 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: that what you do every minut And his second one 253 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 1: is kind of like a dessert night and a nice 254 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: walk and whatnot, and then the other what not so 255 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: brand and the other one is the extravagant one that 256 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: you have to see to believe. So did you go extravagant? 257 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: Was other time you did the extravagant day? And are you? 258 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: Am I boring everyone shitless? So am I continuing on this? 259 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: I think people want to hear what the extravagant date 260 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: was or should we tell it? From our point of view? Yeah, 261 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: maybe we should so. From Kate and my perspective, it 262 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: was all a bit of fun, wasn't it, because we 263 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: knew Brandon before and we just thought it was hilarious 264 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: that they're actually going on a date together. The best 265 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: bit was at our house that we were living at 266 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: at the time. It was like, this really fancy house. 267 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: I have missed that so much, and it had one 268 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: of those cameras out the front where you could see 269 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: the person waiting at the door when they rang the doorbell. 270 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 1: So Amy and I like sprinted over and we could 271 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: and I've actually got it on my snapchat. We filmed 272 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 1: Brandon at the door and then he was like, We're like, hello, 273 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: come in, brother, And it's so funny because our house 274 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: I look back at that snapchat was an absolute tip, Like 275 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 1: how embarrassing. Anyway, poor Brandon's come in and you know, 276 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: Sophie and him have gone off, and we were, like, 277 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: being immature as we were, we were like, oh, I 278 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: want to find out like what they're doing, where they're going. 279 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,319 Speaker 1: So they started snapchatting us like a few little clues 280 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: here and there. Anyway, so if you can tell us 281 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: what actually happened, and then we'll follow up what happened 282 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 1: with us. It was pretty cute because apparently he'd taken 283 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 1: his mom and dad and sister to scope out some 284 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: of the locations and I think, is that just blows 285 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: my mind? And then his mom and sister had a 286 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: bit of a hand in helping him organize food anyway, 287 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 1: so they cut up a bunch of fruit. Yeah. Anyway, 288 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 1: I arrived in the car, and what's funny now is 289 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 1: his car is an absolute shit tip, Like nowadays, I 290 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: can't even get my I have to put my feet 291 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: on like bottles and fucking rubbish. Anyway, his car was 292 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: immaculately clean. I hopped in the car and he handed 293 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: me a golf ball and said, oh, you've got a 294 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: guess where we're going. Oh, minigolf anyway, So he took 295 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 1: me to mini golf, which ended up being closed, so 296 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: he had to think quickly. He didn't think about that 297 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: one through. He had to think quickly on his feet, 298 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: so he went to mini golf at glenelg We then 299 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: went for a little beach stroll and he had come 300 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: up with some questions to ask one another, like anyway, 301 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: and he came up with questions and whipped them out. Wow, 302 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: then it's like a love island. Then he asked me 303 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 1: if I wanted to get ice cream down at Glenell, 304 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 1: but we hadn't had dinner yet, so I'm like, I 305 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: felt bad. I didn't want to spending all his money 306 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: and I was like, no, no, that's fine. Anyway, Then 307 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: we drive back. He heard that margarita pizza was my 308 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: favorite food. We're going to picked up Margharita pizza. Can 309 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: I just add I loved it. He had asked Kate 310 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: what your favorite food was and it was pizza in 311 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 1: the teller. Oh, I forgot about that anyway. So then 312 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: he drives up to this lookout area near his house 313 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: and and he opened the back of his ute and 314 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: he'd set up all these like pillows and blankets and 315 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 1: chairs and like a little like kind of his laptop 316 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: with movies on it. And then later and then he 317 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: had an eski full of Natella which he bought a 318 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: spoon because because there's a joke that I just eat 319 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 1: Natella like a peg with a spoon. You do anyway, 320 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: And yeah, so that was pretty much the really cute 321 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: date he took me on and he won me over 322 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 1: with that. It gets more interesting. So we found out 323 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: about said date and we've got a we've been sent 324 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 1: a snapchat of the location. So Amy and my two cousins, 325 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 1: my adult cousins, who are what six foot five and two, 326 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: we decided that we were going to go see if 327 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: we could do a drive by. And we also got 328 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: my friend Adam, who's like six foot five in the car. 329 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: So we're in Little Master two. Just to put it 330 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 1: in perspective, Adam is a father of three and has 331 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: a wife and he skipped out on well he said 332 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: his wife, he said, Joe was asleep, so he'll come 333 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 1: and join us. So we picked him up. Anyway, the 334 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 1: cars absolutely packed the brims and our cousin and was like, yeah, 335 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 1: I know where that is anyway, So like, it was 336 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: bloody miles away and we found them and so we 337 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: were like, oh fuck, Like you know that moment, we 338 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: were like, oh god, if they see us, they're going 339 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: to get so mad. So we yelled out something, can't 340 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: even remember what. Then we drove off and but we 341 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 1: snapped a photo. Anyway, they had no idea that we 342 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: were there, and it only came out later that we'd 343 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: been there. And it's just this on running joke. So 344 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: to pay me back, I went on a date and 345 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: they bloody all turned up and scoped out the restaurant 346 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: until I walked out. It was so embarrassing. Oh I 347 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 1: remember that down at Henley b Yeah, it was so good. 348 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: And we got this amazing snapchat of you exiting the 349 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: date and everyone was laughing in the background. I don't 350 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: even think you saw us though. The worst bit was 351 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: I knew you'd do something like that. But you know, 352 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: when you're late, you can feel like you're being watched, 353 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 1: but you don't know where you are, sorry, where they are. 354 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: We're talking about different levels of dates. I think we've 355 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: all had dates that haven't gone too well. Kate, do 356 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: you have well, okay, I know you have a few 357 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 1: stories about those. Well, I've been a mug that thought, 358 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 1: you know, it's nice to put her on dinners. Actually 359 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: I've got two. There was one guy that I invited 360 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: over for dinner, and you guys actually helped like clean 361 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: up the Christmas like we didn't have. It was I 362 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 1: think it was like February and the Christmas tree was 363 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: still up, both Christmas trees, but we had two Christmas trees. Anyway, 364 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: So Amy and Sophie Conney, when I was at work, 365 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: packed with the Christmas decorations, cleaned the whole house, made spaghetti, 366 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: you know, really put an effort in and we and 367 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: so when I exited the house. Yeah, so they were 368 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: over at Mum and Dad, so everyone knew that this 369 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: dinner day was going on. The guy rocks up eats 370 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: and then told me he had he rocked up late 371 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, ropped up late, told me he had 372 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,679 Speaker 1: a movie on. So stayed for I think it was 373 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 1: like forty five minutes, and then left and didn't even 374 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: invite me to the movie that he was seeing with 375 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 1: people that I knew. It is so rude. It was 376 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: so rude. And then another one was there was another 377 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: guy and this was more perplexing because he taken me 378 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: out on all these like quite decent dates to nice 379 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: restaurants and movies and paid for the bill and all that. 380 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, well, I'm gonna show that, 381 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,879 Speaker 1: you know, I'm putting in an effort and I'll make 382 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: him dinner. So and isn't that what every guy wants? Yeah? 383 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: So yeah, Amy, And so if you've got you know, 384 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 1: we're gonna leave the house. And they actually we went shopping, 385 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: and I always get a bit embarrassed planning things, so 386 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: like I felt awkward, you know, picking out the food. Anyway, 387 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 1: the day of the date comes and I messaged him saying, oh, 388 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 1: so what time are you coming? Oh? Sorry, I've got 389 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 1: something on and I was just like I remember walking 390 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: down and I was like, fuck, like this is bullshit. 391 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,679 Speaker 1: Like I was more like I didn't really care. It 392 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: was just more that I was embarrassed. That's right. It 393 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: is embarrassing when you've told all your family or friends 394 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: about this person and you do feel like such a mug. 395 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: I think that's half the reason why you do do 396 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 1: the You know, when you're not getting as many messages back, 397 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: that's when you do start like it's you've got a 398 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 1: bit of pressure on you because people know about it. 399 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: So you're like, oh, I'm sure there's some sort of 400 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: misunderstanding why they're not replying. It's not because they're not interested. Well, 401 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 1: back to first dates, who do you guys think should pay? Like, 402 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 1: do you think you should split the bill or do 403 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: you think the guy should pay or do you think 404 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 1: initiated the date should pay. I'm like, we're obviously all feminists, 405 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: but I think there is something kind of romantic still 406 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: about a man offering to pay for you. At the 407 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: same time, I feel like you should, as a woman, 408 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: offer to pay half. But there should be one offer 409 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,679 Speaker 1: to pay half, and that should be shot down. Yeah, 410 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 1: I think, I mean it does, as you said, depend 411 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: who initiated the date. But you know, I think just 412 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: you know said that chivalry is still alive. I think 413 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: the guy should say no, I'll get it. The girl 414 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 1: should say oh no, are you sure, and then they 415 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,199 Speaker 1: go yeah, And then I think it's fair that in 416 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: a second or third date you should pay for something. Well, 417 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 1: even if you go to the movies, if he pays, 418 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: then you pay for the popcorn or drinks or something. 419 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: When you're actually in a serious relationship. I think that's 420 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: totally different. I think that, you know, for me, I 421 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 1: like to be equal in my relationships, and I don't 422 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 1: expect rees to buy all my dinners and stuff like 423 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: that would just be ridiculous. Yeah, that's the thing. It's 424 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,680 Speaker 1: the start of a relationship when someone's trying to woo 425 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: you and win you over. What about when a girl 426 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,919 Speaker 1: might earn more than a boy, Do you think that 427 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: it's different then that she should pay. I don't feel 428 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: it's different, but I feel like if you earn a 429 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,679 Speaker 1: lot more money than someone, perhaps don't be suggesting to 430 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: go to like four course meals and you know, maybe 431 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 1: go somewhere that was not of course, sorry, somewhere that's 432 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 1: like within their budget. I think it definitely depends on 433 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,160 Speaker 1: the lifestyle people are used to. So I think if 434 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,199 Speaker 1: you're like loaded and your partner's not, I think that 435 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: you should sort of let them dictate the dates as well. 436 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: And then if you want to do something particularly nice 437 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 1: and you're the one earning more than I think it 438 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: would be okay to pay pay the way for that date. 439 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 1: Do you know what, though, when I think of first dates, 440 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 1: it just takes me back to you know, being in 441 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 1: your early twenties and going on like those cringe coffee 442 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,119 Speaker 1: dates cheatoyah, And I remember going out. I went on 443 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,400 Speaker 1: a few dates with this prison guard of all occupations, 444 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: and the date didn't cont you know, so we went 445 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: for a coffee date. We then went to the movies, 446 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: and then it went back to the coffee date. What yeah, 447 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,159 Speaker 1: you went back to coffee. No, I'm saying like the 448 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: first day was didn't progress And yeah, it didn't progress 449 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,440 Speaker 1: at all. Yeah, And you know when you're kind of like, oh, 450 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 1: I feel like this is a first date situation where 451 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 1: you get to know someone and know if you want 452 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: to spend any more money or have you ever heard 453 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: of those people who they'll do so many elaborate dates, 454 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 1: And I think it's because they've got nothing to talk 455 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 1: about that they needed to be doing something. I think 456 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 1: if you can have coffee or multiple dinners with somebody 457 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 1: and you've got heaps to talk about, I think that's 458 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,400 Speaker 1: a good sign that this relationship is going somewhere. Yeah. Well, 459 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: one of the points I came across for someone not 460 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: being into you was someone not making an effort. I 461 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: suppose that comes into dates as well. And I remember 462 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,439 Speaker 1: you were particularly pulled off Amy when I think it 463 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,200 Speaker 1: was a second or third date and the guy rocked 464 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: up to your house in great tracks with pants my 465 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:48,200 Speaker 1: most hated of tracks of pants. Yes, this particular person 466 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: also didn't like chocolate. They like cheese better, so I'd 467 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: put on a cheese board and they rocked up in 468 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 1: track pants. So I wasn't very impressed. I don't think 469 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: there was a third date after that. I think even 470 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 1: if you're like, it's nice for people to feel comfortable 471 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: around you, but I don't really think you should be 472 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: rocking up to someone's house in tracksuit pants. Date three, Well, 473 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: that's a good question. What are some deal breakers for everyone? Well, 474 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: you know, from past relationship, it seems like I didn't 475 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 1: really have any. But you know, now that I've got 476 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 1: a bit more respect for myself, cheating would get a 477 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: deal breaker. Well, I got broken up with because one 478 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: guy's deal breaker was it he liked to argue in 479 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: a relationship. So I don't even going out with you 480 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: have been good at that. Yeah, I know he should 481 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: have waited to get to know me. I've only been 482 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,880 Speaker 1: going out for three weeks, and like we caught up 483 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,680 Speaker 1: most nights during those three weeks, he was pretty flown. 484 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 1: And how many texts was moment? Like three thousand text 485 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 1: messages or something or something crazy anyway, or what period 486 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,199 Speaker 1: for three weeks? Three weeks? Anyway, I don't think it 487 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 1: was that many, but it was a fair few. And anyway, 488 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 1: so he told me that his mum was ten years 489 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: older than his dad and that, you know, I got 490 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,679 Speaker 1: the vibe that he likes a woman to tell him 491 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: what to do. And anyway, I was heading over to 492 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: his house for dinner and to watch a movie, but 493 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: I thought I felt like something was up, Like you know, 494 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: when you met the person isn't messaging back as much. Yeah, anyway, 495 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,159 Speaker 1: I get there, and you know, when you've got the 496 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 1: vibe that someone doesn't even want you there he was 497 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 1: hanging up his washing on the line, and yeah. So 498 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 1: then he just stands at the kitchen bench while I'm 499 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,119 Speaker 1: sitting on the table and tells me, oh, you're sorry, 500 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I was sitting on the lounge. Anyway. He 501 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: starts a conversation by telling me after three weeks that 502 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: he can't see himself marrying me and that I'm not 503 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: argumentative and he loves to have a fiery relationship where 504 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 1: he argues with his girlfriend, and I mean, I thought, well, 505 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 1: I don't really have much to argue with you about. 506 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: But then it turned out that his ex girlfriend also 507 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,920 Speaker 1: worked in the newsroom. We were out at that time, 508 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: and she was a very fiery character and told him 509 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,199 Speaker 1: to break up with me, so that there was a 510 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,680 Speaker 1: bit more to that story. But maybe he was trying 511 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,399 Speaker 1: to like initiate a fight and seeing your reaction, like 512 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: if you'd been like, fuck you, I wonder stay with me, 513 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: I tell brand in that story. Now he's like, God, 514 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: he should have got to know you a bit longer. 515 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: I know. That's the funny thing when Savi, because I 516 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: was in Melbourne at the time. I'm dealing in my 517 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 1: own drama, and when Sabby reign, I was like, did 518 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: you even know you? It's quite funny. It's funny now 519 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 1: to laugh. It wasn't funny at the time. Well, it 520 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,119 Speaker 1: is interesting the vibes that you can actually be putting 521 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 1: across that you don't realize. Because when I started going 522 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 1: out with Dale, he actually thought I think it's called nagging. 523 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: That's what he told me. It's where you it's where 524 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: you give like you don't really give that person very much, 525 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,919 Speaker 1: and it's like sort of it's kind of like you 526 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,919 Speaker 1: ghost them a bit, but it makes you, you know, 527 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: treat me and keep him keen. Remember Amy going on 528 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: a first date with Dale and Kate had Dale as 529 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: if you had gotten Kate had left, what did you 530 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 1: You were on a date with someone else, And I 531 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, Amy's going in a day. I've 532 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 1: got the house myself. I invited Brandon over and we're 533 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: going to make dinner. Anyway, you you lost it because 534 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,600 Speaker 1: you didn't want us to like see you leaving for 535 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,880 Speaker 1: your first date and like the clothes that you picked out, 536 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:10,520 Speaker 1: like you were very get So if he's such a bitch, 537 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 1: look just I don't know what. Everyone has been in 538 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: each other's business the whole. But to be fair, that 539 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: happened with me. I had to go down on a 540 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: date and I was like, yeah, that's so mean. The 541 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 1: reaction every was like, oh, where are you galleying? You're 542 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 1: such a because you rocked up on my first day. Yeah, 543 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 1: I know. Anyway, moving on, This wasn't on the first date, 544 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 1: but we've had a few dates and I remember we 545 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 1: went to play mini golf and he felt like the 546 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 1: hot spot in that later a bit of me, and 547 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: he just assumed that we were hanging out for dinner, 548 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 1: but I had plans with you guys and my cousins, 549 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,160 Speaker 1: and he thought that was me trying to blow him 550 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: off and pulled him around and it was so awkward. Yeah, well, 551 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do anyway. To be honest, 552 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,640 Speaker 1: you are quite hard to read sometimes. Well, I think 553 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 1: it made him really like me. So girls, there's a 554 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 1: tip out there. Act a bit cold. But the thing 555 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: is he sort of kind of he'd been messaging me 556 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 1: a lot, and then he kind of on the messaging, 557 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: so I was like, oh shit. So I messaged him 558 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: and asked if he wanted to catch up because it 559 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: was his birthday. And I remember, Kate, you were like, 560 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: for fuck, stake, Amy, don't let this slip out of 561 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: your hands. You need to do a nice gesture. So 562 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: I ended up making him this enormous chocolate cake, and 563 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 1: I got him a little present. I got him a 564 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: sushi maker, so we made sushi at his house, and 565 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 1: I think that's when he realized that he really really 566 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 1: liked me. And that's when I got an invite to 567 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 1: his friend's birthday. So I feel like, I feel like 568 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: you need to sort of be cool but then not 569 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 1: too cool that they just don't. Yeah, you've got to 570 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: You've got to be willing to put your feelings on 571 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,960 Speaker 1: the line and make yet I feel like, it's not 572 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,440 Speaker 1: like you have to be like I really like you. 573 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,639 Speaker 1: You just have to do a probably gesture. Yeah, you 574 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: just have to do some gestures which show you actually care. Well. 575 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: We should probably also talk about a few red flags, 576 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 1: because in my first relationship there were some massive red 577 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: flags that I didn't really take much notice of. The 578 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: first was probably my ex boyfriend's twenty first birthday, and 579 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,479 Speaker 1: that was a memorable night that is still being spoken 580 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: about to this very day. I've got vision of it 581 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,880 Speaker 1: if you would go off on YouTube, if I could 582 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: be bothered to upload it. Now. What should have been 583 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: the first red flag for me? He was wearing a 584 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 1: top hat with a monocle and had arranged to be 585 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 1: riding in a horse and cart with his friends. What 586 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 1: is his wedding when he didn't ask me to be 587 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: in the horse and cart with his friends? First red flag? 588 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: The second would be that he invited girls that he 589 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 1: had been with previously to the party. Second red flag. 590 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,879 Speaker 1: The third red flag was that he got increasingly drunk 591 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,920 Speaker 1: throughout the night, where he couldn't really even hold a sentence, 592 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 1: and this was the first time my parents were meeting 593 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:46,160 Speaker 1: his parents. It then got increasingly worse. So it came 594 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,439 Speaker 1: to the twenty first speeches, and I had a little 595 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 1: feeling that they weren't going to be so great. He 596 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: was worried that his friends were going to tell some 597 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: embarrassing stories. So you know, there's like a ding ding ding, 598 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:02,119 Speaker 1: like the speeches are on, and they wheel his grandmother 599 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 1: up in a wheelchair, so she's nice and close to 600 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 1: hear the speeches, right near the speaker, that's right. So 601 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:12,679 Speaker 1: they unfolded by the friends revealing his nickname was Anaconda. 602 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 1: Another new nickname. I hadn't heard of. Wood's fish fingers. 603 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: We can all use our agitation there. They then proceeded 604 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: to point out girls in the crowd that he slept 605 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 1: we had the wheel one revealed that he had sex 606 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 1: in a rubbish bit, revealed that he had slept with 607 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: two girls whilst we were dating at the time. That 608 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 1: was a fun one to find out as well in 609 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 1: front of your parents. And then they also said that 610 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 1: he really has a thing for girls called Sophie because 611 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: he used to date another girl called Sophie to individual, 612 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 1: you know, point you out in the crowd too. And 613 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 1: the evening ended with our mother being called a milk 614 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 1: and me having to take him home with his own 615 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 1: mother and to lie him down on his single bed 616 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 1: and undress him from his tuxedo. I think you should 617 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,560 Speaker 1: clear it up that your ex boyfriend didn't call mother milf, 618 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: just his friends did. Oh yes, I had to explain 619 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,959 Speaker 1: to mum what a milk meant. I think she was 620 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: secretly wrapped. And to top it off, this twenty first 621 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 1: birth that cost his family ten thousand dollars. He was serious. Yeah, alcohol, 622 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 1: he'd drank, but anyone in earth. So it was. It 623 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 1: was a memorable night, and the worst thing was me 624 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: being a nice girlfriend and a mug. I felt really 625 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: sorry for him instead of being angry, and I went 626 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 1: home the next day and wrote a twenty first speech 627 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: about all the lovely things he had achieved and how 628 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 1: lovely he was. Wow. Yeah, well, I've got mug written 629 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: across my face because I've got another red flag that 630 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: I wanted to bring up, which is your boyfriend. Sorry, 631 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 1: the guy that you're dating treating his mum like shit. 632 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: So the guy that I was with, his mum was 633 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: lovely and she basically did everything for him. And you know, 634 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: he was I think like twenty eight at the time, 635 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: and I'd moved across to Melbourne to live with him, 636 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 1: and we used to go to his family's house about 637 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: once every Sunday or you know, every weekend for dinner. 638 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,239 Speaker 1: He would get there and act like a child and 639 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 1: sit on the couch or his mum fussed over him. 640 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 1: Isn't that so unattractive when people get at clay children 641 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: in front of them. Oh, and it was like she 642 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 1: got so I found this funny. So she would pull 643 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: him that she'd make tea and then she would like 644 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,719 Speaker 1: wait to get it to the perfect temperature, like putting 645 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: cold water and you know, just making sure it was light, 646 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: did the tea bag pass it over? And I'm like, 647 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm like, I can do my own 648 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 1: tea anyway. So maybe she did that for your tea. 649 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 1: She did it for me too, Yeah, And no, he did. 650 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: And I remember one particular night and she, you know, 651 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 1: slaved over and you know, made the meals that they'd requested, 652 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 1: and she was working, starting on the dishes, which no 653 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 1: one helped it with and except me, I think I offered. 654 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 1: And then they're watching some crap on TV and you know, 655 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,239 Speaker 1: the mom's knocking the pants around. They go, would you 656 00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 1: shut up? And I was like, oh my god. And 657 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 1: then there was always in this other instance where we 658 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: were going to Noosa and and his mom had to 659 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: come over and help him pack and she was like, 660 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,240 Speaker 1: He's like, oh, have I got everything I need? You? 661 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 1: You've got your stockies, you've got your ducks, you've got 662 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,360 Speaker 1: your this, you got you this. And I'm like, what 663 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 1: the fuck do you know what? I feel like some 664 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 1: moms do such a disservice to their sons because you 665 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: might think that that's really nice for them to have 666 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 1: done that when they're growing up, but it ruins them 667 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: for when they're in a relationship. Like I must say, 668 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 1: I think Dale had to do a lot for himself 669 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 1: growing up. His mum was obviously lovely, but she taught 670 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: him how to do things for himself, and he's so 671 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:42,120 Speaker 1: good about, you know, ironing and cooking. It's those guys 672 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 1: that you don't want to end up with, the ones 673 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,800 Speaker 1: that their mom's done everything. I think It's also their 674 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: dads too, because Reese's dad is like a maze and 675 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: his mum. He's both got beautiful parents. And his dad 676 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: does a lot of the cooking because he loves it, 677 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 1: and I like, Reese's picked up on that and is 678 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: so good around the house. So it does, it does 679 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 1: make a difference. My ex boyfriends mum would iron things 680 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 1: perfectly when we went overseas. She literally ironed every bit 681 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 1: of clothing and somehow folded it up in a way 682 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: so that it stayed like no perfect iron. His underpins, yea, 683 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: his jobs tee towels, white ones. So do you know 684 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 1: what just reminded me of? You know, we're talking about 685 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,480 Speaker 1: mothers and their sons. Remember Amy Schumer stand up bit 686 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: and she's like, you get those mothers that are like 687 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 1: two over the top and they're like, oh, I wanted 688 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:37,040 Speaker 1: to fuck my own son. I don't know if they 689 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,360 Speaker 1: those mums were that kind of mum, but no, you 690 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: definitely hear about them, the ones with the new girlfriend's 691 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: never good enough. Well, theory I've heard is that it 692 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: ends up that you actually want your son to date 693 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 1: someone like you that has the same sort of qualities 694 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: as you. Moving on to another red flag. This one 695 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 1: emerged you know again in this past hideous relationship. Boys 696 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: then compliment girls in front of you. So I was 697 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 1: out at the SB having dinner and my boyfriend at 698 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 1: the time decided to tell me that the bartender behind 699 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: the bar was a eleven out of ten? How would 700 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 1: anyone think that that was accepted? But then proceeded in 701 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,880 Speaker 1: front of our work colleagues to give me a four 702 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 1: and a half out of ten? What like this was prior? 703 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,680 Speaker 1: Like this was all you know, where the half come from? 704 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 1: It was the same individual. I have to tell this 705 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: story because it's actually hilarious. I remember, I don't know 706 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 1: how this came about. But so when Kate was going 707 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 1: out with this person, this guy actually lived at his workplace, 708 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,720 Speaker 1: so they had a bedroom for him to stay in. 709 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 1: And when he left to go to Melbourne that some 710 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 1: of the staff got left to sort of pack up 711 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 1: his room and they discovered a polaroid that they I 712 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 1: had it, not that it was given to me, but 713 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 1: it was amongst some stuff that I had been given, 714 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 1: like this book of alls, and it kind of like 715 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,959 Speaker 1: fell out of the pages. And let's just say this 716 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,480 Speaker 1: polaroid was a picture of him with his dick in 717 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 1: his hand. Well that's real vintage though, like you know, 718 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,680 Speaker 1: that's before mobile phones. Well, the most hilarious thing was 719 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 1: is that when Kate was moving out of recently, like 720 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: we've been broken up what like three and a half years. 721 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: So Kate had been nice and kept this box of 722 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,040 Speaker 1: his stuff and I don't think he'd ever had that 723 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,760 Speaker 1: thing where you handed stuff back because he's still in Melbourne. 724 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: And so I remember Kate was moving out recently and 725 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,920 Speaker 1: we found the box and the Polaroid was still in there, 726 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,240 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god. And I remember, 727 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: just because that's a bit of a shitster, I stuck 728 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: it on the fridge and I had this hilarious magnet 729 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,640 Speaker 1: that I got on holiday that's of a nice cream cone, 730 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 1: and I put it over his private part and I 731 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: remember I said to I literally just put it up 732 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,560 Speaker 1: to see if Kate noticed that it was on the fridge. 733 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: And then I said to her cousin, Oh, could you 734 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 1: go even pick up that magnet for me? And he 735 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 1: was like, aha, yeah, the said polaroid has now been 736 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 1: destroyed and thrown out all the rest of his crap 737 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,520 Speaker 1: that I held onto, But I never I never received 738 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 1: my beautiful bedspread back, and I'm still pissed off about that. 739 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,880 Speaker 1: Do you sometimes think when people do that whole breakup 740 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,840 Speaker 1: thing and they hand stuff back, do you think sometimes 741 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 1: it's psychological warfare what people put in the box. I 742 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 1: was definitely a big fuck you. I've actually never been 743 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,960 Speaker 1: given anything back that I gave anyone. I actually sold 744 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 1: a necklace on marketplace is a future necklace that I got, 745 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,600 Speaker 1: which was very out of charage to let me say, 746 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 1: because as I said, he forgot my birthday several times 747 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,880 Speaker 1: or didn't give me a gift. Do you know what's hilarious? 748 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 1: Because my boyfriend's been engaged before, and when he moved 749 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: in with me, he came with all this beautiful, like 750 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,360 Speaker 1: beautiful pots and pans and stuff, and I was like, 751 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,920 Speaker 1: what are they ease from? And he's like, from our 752 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,279 Speaker 1: engagement party, but we never used them. I was like, oh, 753 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,440 Speaker 1: that's all right. My ex boyfriend gave me nothing of 754 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,160 Speaker 1: worth the cell. I remember one Christmas, he's like, oh, 755 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 1: you will not believe what mum's got you. You won't 756 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,040 Speaker 1: believe it. I've been hearing about it. Leave it. I 757 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:05,800 Speaker 1: opened up this small little package and it's this chicken 758 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 1: do you have? Can you put it on the story 759 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,359 Speaker 1: And the only thing that was kind of cute about 760 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 1: it was that his mum collected them, so she wanted 761 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 1: me to start my own collection. But why would he 762 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:20,279 Speaker 1: find that so interesting? I have no maybe sentimental. I 763 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,800 Speaker 1: got a great Christmas present from said dickhead ex boyfriend. 764 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,399 Speaker 1: It was so thoughtful. He handed over a bag which 765 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,880 Speaker 1: had a car. It was I think I had a 766 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,799 Speaker 1: some wrapping paper in a card that was meant to 767 00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: do with a bracelet his mum had bought me and 768 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: he didn't even wrap it in the paper. The car 769 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,799 Speaker 1: that they're being provided that's currently on sale a marketplace too, 770 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,560 Speaker 1: if anyone wants really. Yeah, yeah, had a few my 771 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,359 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend the last birthday we celebrated together and then 772 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,399 Speaker 1: he dumped me, like about a week and a half later. 773 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,160 Speaker 1: He bought you That was after your holiday in Thailand. Yeah, 774 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,439 Speaker 1: that was after my birthday anyway. He bought you guys 775 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 1: a waffle machine which he wrapped, and then he bought 776 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,839 Speaker 1: me to teacups which were not wrapped, and a very 777 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,960 Speaker 1: cold card with a cown talking about funny things boys? 778 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: Do I remember? Dale had me over to his house 779 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,399 Speaker 1: and I think he's meant to be impressing me by 780 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 1: cooking me dinner, which was very sweet. And I remember 781 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 1: he made sort of handmade pizzas. They were on a 782 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,920 Speaker 1: a bot pizza. You know, he did make it. He 783 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,920 Speaker 1: made the own topping, that's right. And it was so 784 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 1: hilarious because he's like, no, no, I'll sit and make 785 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,840 Speaker 1: the stuff. And he had me watching him. And first 786 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,279 Speaker 1: thing he did, he cracked an egg onto the peach 787 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,000 Speaker 1: is to cook and I was like, oh my god, 788 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 1: what on the tomato? Yeah, like like that was the 789 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,319 Speaker 1: last thing. He cracked the egg over it because he 790 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,920 Speaker 1: really loves egg. Now. She was quite yummy. And then 791 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:42,520 Speaker 1: it's Whenny he brought the pizzas out and he just 792 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 1: got these scissors and just starts cutting the pizzas up 793 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,400 Speaker 1: as if it was so normals. Yeah, with kitchen scissors. 794 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,400 Speaker 1: And I was like, this is so funny. This is 795 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,560 Speaker 1: like Bachelor Pad style living. Wow. God, I think we 796 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,399 Speaker 1: could go on all afternoon. Geez. I feel so bad 797 00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,719 Speaker 1: because there's someone that wrote in to say that they 798 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 1: a mal teaser every time we mentioned our boyfriends, So 799 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 1: I'm sorry you would have gone through about twenty packets. 800 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,840 Speaker 1: They are good among teasers. We're just giving them what 801 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:10,400 Speaker 1: they want. Yeah, yeah, well yeah, if you have enjoyed 802 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: today's episode, we'd love you to send in some of 803 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,520 Speaker 1: your own dating questions and we probably will do a 804 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 1: follow up episode of what it's actually like once you've 805 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: secured the boyfriend and then the reality of living with them. 806 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: But also we're contemplating whether we should get our boyfriends 807 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:29,160 Speaker 1: on the show for their point of view, because we'll 808 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,440 Speaker 1: put a poll up on the Instagram page as to 809 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: whether our boyfriend should appear on the show. There might 810 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: be a lot of rivalry going on to get them on. 811 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,879 Speaker 1: I was gonna say it would also be great if 812 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,400 Speaker 1: people could share some of their dating stories with us, 813 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,919 Speaker 1: and perhaps we could share them anonymously on the show. Yeah, 814 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:47,279 Speaker 1: and obviously, as you've heard, we're not dating experts, but 815 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,160 Speaker 1: you know, we have had a lot of shoe day, 816 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,600 Speaker 1: So if anyone wants any of our opinion on it 817 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 1: or how to trick a boy into being in a relationship. 818 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,680 Speaker 1: And if you did enjoy today's episode with mother, if 819 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 1: you could share on your Insta story, but just tag 820 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,880 Speaker 1: us out Outspoken, Underscore, the under Stork podcast. We're also 821 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 1: on Facebook by the same name, and we're going to 822 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: be bringing up some funk holes and questions and that 823 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: kind of thing, so you should definitely follow us in there.