1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: Frilly podcasting. 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 2: Now we are doing some great stuff with November coming 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 2: into November very shortly, two days away, one day away 4 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 2: in fact, until you guys can shave down for November. 5 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 2: This November, whatever you grow will save a bro, so 6 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 2: sign up at November dot com. It is the most 7 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 2: important mo that you will ever grow. Particularly give them 8 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: what everyone's been through recently, it's a hell of a 9 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 2: time to throw your weight behind November and everything that 10 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,799 Speaker 2: it supports. So what we're doing is we're having great 11 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 2: chats with great people about their mental health journeys and 12 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 2: hopefully this can inspire you guys, inform you guys, and 13 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 2: hopefully compel you to head along to November dot com 14 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 2: and get yourself a mo boil. 15 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 3: And what is more, today will our guest is the 16 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:50,840 Speaker 3: super talented and genuinely authentic great men that is Deal 17 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 3: Rock Tire singer. 18 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 4: Wow. 19 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 5: That is I've had some credits thrown at me before 20 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 5: interviews in the past, but that is gotta be one 21 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 5: of the best, annuine little authentic. The truth is, I'm 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 5: not even tri Lankan. I just put on a bit 23 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 5: of a tanning every morning, so I don't know how 24 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 5: far that is true, you're. 25 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 6: Pulling off with me, mate, you're pulling it off with me. Still, 26 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 6: I actually do want to talk to you. I know 27 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 6: we're talking about having mental health chats with all the 28 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 6: guests that come on for mochalk. And you gave up 29 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 6: drinking four years ago. My first question to you, is. 30 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 4: Drinking gave me up? As well. 31 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 6: As a mutual breakup, it's autual. 32 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: Breaker they were like the books was like, man, come on, 33 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 1: you've you've had enough champions. 34 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 4: Well, I want to hang over that much worse. 35 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 6: I can imagine why did you drink so much? Though, 36 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 6: you know, the. 37 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: Whole combination things. And it took me about two years 38 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: of therapeu to fully nail it down. 39 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 4: And I reckon. 40 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: It starts with escapism, because I reckon I was so 41 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: afraid to turn in woods and see what was actually 42 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: making me either happy or sad, or anything that made 43 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: me tick or bring me under. 44 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 4: I was just too scared to have a closer look. 45 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: So by you know, going towards booth and then I 46 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 1: didn't have to think about it, you know, like it's 47 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: not even just booze. I would find that I was 48 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: constantly distracting myself with music or podcasts just so that 49 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: when I'm sitting on a tram, I just don't have 50 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 1: to think about what's in my head. And there's also 51 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: another big part of it, which is when I moved 52 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: to Australia as a nineteen year old, I wasn't a drinker. 53 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 4: But turns out I could scull a jug in eleven. 54 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: Seconds and you go for yeah, and a pinting and 55 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: four seconds. So I went from being this unknown international 56 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: student in Melbourne with a country I'd never been to before, 57 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 1: and a week later I'd be at the pub and 58 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: I think you boys had done a fair few the 59 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: law reviews and things like that, but that pub, I 60 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 1: remember being there and someone else said, hey, are you 61 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: the Sri Lankan guy that can spell lies? He's like, 62 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: can you scull? Can you spell my pint? And show me? 63 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: And he I would finish it, and they're like, man, 64 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: come and check this guy out. So all of a sudden, 65 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: this well, I'm a novelty. I'm breaking through you know, 66 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: a scary country. I mean, a new country. I have 67 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: no friends or family here. I have to kind of 68 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 1: make it a well. So my sense of identity and 69 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: value was linked to my ability to spell, and then 70 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you know, it starts snowballing from 71 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: that to getting on the of the Common Student Society 72 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: to becoming the president of the Common Student Society too then, 73 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: which by the way, I've never verified with, but I'm 74 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: sure it might be the only international student to do it, 75 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: because if so, it's voting based, right, and if you 76 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: don't have liked to vote for you, how you break through? 77 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 1: So all of a sudden it was at Melbourne UNI. 78 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 4: It was funny. 79 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: Melbourne UNI went through a big overhaul of their board 80 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: over they had these board meetings because they were changing 81 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: the degrees, like they went from like one hundred and 82 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: twenty plus something of courses on offer to like nine, 83 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: and it was just big, like then this for like 84 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: one hundred and fift years and they're making this big change, 85 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: and they needed a student Body rep. And I used 86 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: to be the version of it because I was the president, 87 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: and I kept thinking, they're sitting at this desk, but 88 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: I'm only here because I'm great at boat races. But 89 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: realized that there's no value to me other than the 90 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: fact that people bought it for me because I can skull. 91 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: So yeah, and then you know that just sort of 92 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: perpetuates the persona that oh you're cool because you drink. 93 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: And you know what, I had a great I've got 94 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: great stories and some really fun ones, but the great 95 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,359 Speaker 1: ones started becoming few and far between, and it was 96 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: just left with the most sadder ones, things like waking up, 97 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: you know, in bed, and I've fallen asleep with a 98 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: wine bottle and it's ruined the mattress. So then I 99 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: keep the mattress over and then then go again another 100 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: week and then wake up with b and I'm like, well, 101 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: I can't keep the mattress again. I just had to 102 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: buy a mattress now. 103 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 4: Or I can stop drinking, you know. 104 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 6: So can I talk to you then about about that 105 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 6: when you did stop drinking, Can can you give an 106 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 6: give us an idea of just how hard it was 107 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 6: to do? Because exfectively, from what you're saying, when you 108 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 6: gave up drinking, you were also setting fire to an 109 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 6: identity that you've built up, which made you feel comfortable 110 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,520 Speaker 6: in this country, which I'm sure helped you in social 111 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,839 Speaker 6: settings and whatnot. So just how hard was it to 112 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 6: then go, you know, I don't drink anymore? 113 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: It was incredibly difficult to walk away. It was almost 114 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: like you have to, as you said, you know, kill 115 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: a version of yourself that you thought was important and 116 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: you valued. And the fear that comes along with it 117 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: is a what am I like? 118 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 4: If I'm not the booze hoound? What am I? What 119 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 4: am I am? I? 120 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: Am I boring to my friends? And you know, because 121 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: everything was sort of starts with grog that I'm like, 122 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 1: I don't know who I look like without it. And 123 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,599 Speaker 1: luckily for me, stand up was the one thing I 124 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 1: never did drunk. I'd always make sure it was sober 125 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 1: before I performed because when I started like, I have 126 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: a fear of public speaking, and I had to learn 127 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: how to get rid of it, like soberly, because I 128 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 1: knew if I gave myself permission to have to be it, 129 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: I just know what I'm like. I don't I've never 130 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: had between four to ten drinks. It's either less than 131 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: four or ten plus, So I knew if there's no 132 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: middle pocket for me, right And so I thought, if 133 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 1: I give myself a couple of beers, there's going to 134 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: be one day where the two become three and the 135 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: three becomes four, and then we're on and I never 136 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,840 Speaker 1: want I loved the idea of stand up so much 137 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: that I never want to. 138 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 4: Disrespect it in that form. 139 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: I didn't mind disrespecting myself in public and doing newly 140 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: runs at UNI, but somehow stand up with this sacred 141 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: space that no, no, you can't. You know ruin what 142 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 1: stand up is, because that's how much I loved it. 143 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,839 Speaker 1: So for me, I was lucky that the comedy didn't 144 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: get intacted. But what would happen is after the gig, 145 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: I couldn't stick around the. 146 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 4: Bars and. 147 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:42,239 Speaker 2: I couldn't trust yourself. 148 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: I had to. I couldn't trust myself. I just would 149 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: feel the pang. It's like a muscle, right, I was 150 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 1: a muscle, and. 151 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 4: It was just fatiguing every night. I'm like, I can't. 152 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 1: If I moved myself away from it, then it's harder, 153 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 1: it's easier. 154 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:55,359 Speaker 4: Sorry. 155 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: And but the problem is I replaced pints of beer 156 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,279 Speaker 1: with pints of ice cream. So all the way home, 157 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: I tell myself, congratulations, young man, you've You've done another 158 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,799 Speaker 1: day without drinking to go. Have A been a whole 159 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: thing of Ben and Jerry's and men. When I say 160 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: the whole thing, I mean genuinely the whole thing, like 161 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: if it could melt and I could just scull it. 162 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: If they are they both reasons for gelada, because I'd 163 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: nail that as well. 164 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 6: So you'd replaced waking up with a champagne bottle with 165 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 6: waking up with a ben and Jerry's bottle. 166 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 4: Oh my god. 167 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was embarrassing, like a paddle bop stick up, 168 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: you know. 169 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 4: So joking on. 170 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 2: So I mean with with the I mean like you 171 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 2: really are like a bit of a peinup boy for 172 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 2: mental health and feeling good about yourself, but in a 173 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 2: lot of ways because you lost the alcohol addiction. Uh, 174 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 2: and we'll call it that, Like I feel like, you know, 175 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 2: addiction comes in all sorts of sizes, but at the 176 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 2: end of the day, it's something that you felt like 177 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 2: you needed in order to in order to feel whole. 178 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 2: So let's go an addiction for that. 179 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: Let's I remember the morning that I had to go 180 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: to my accounting job, and I before after brushing my 181 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: teeth and I had. 182 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 4: A quick drink of Scotch before I went at like 183 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 4: seven in the morning. 184 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: With the day that I called Mom and told her 185 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: that I told Mom that straight away because I wanted 186 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: to be accountable to someone because I knew this is 187 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: the this is the start, like this is how it happens, 188 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: because you go, surely one shot is not going to 189 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: you know, make the biggest difference. 190 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 4: But as soon as I. 191 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: Did it, I went, oh, I better tell mom. You 192 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: can be a thirty two year old man and still 193 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: be scared of mom who is in tulance. 194 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 6: Yes, of course you can. Really that you were literally 195 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 6: like Kesha washing your mouth with a bottle of jam. 196 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: Oh my god, and that was to stay. It was 197 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: next to me. 198 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 4: I thought it was just feeling light didty, but he 199 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 4: was right there. 200 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 2: So we got so we lost the alcoholiction at the 201 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 2: same time, though you you had this huge I'm sure 202 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 2: they connected this huge white loss journey as well, where 203 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 2: you you shared like kilos Like I'm going to be honest, 204 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: like I think from a time and when we saw 205 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 2: your like you know, probably four or five years ago. 206 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 4: Twenty seventeen, I reckon it was yeah. 207 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 2: And then we saw you here the earlier this year, 208 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 2: like you were totally unrecognizable. I mean, how much did 209 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 2: you actually lose? 210 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 1: So it is absolutely connected the two and I can 211 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 1: pinpoint exactly what it is and. 212 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 4: What I lost was so I did a bet. 213 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 1: First of all with a friend of mine. Had we 214 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: even do a podcast about It's called fit Bet, and 215 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: it was he and I were bought about one hundred 216 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: and twenty five killos each and the bet was the 217 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: first person to get under one hundred killos wins a 218 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: thousand bucks. And it turns out all this motivation that 219 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: I didn't have for you know, died and exercise was 220 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 1: back because one of the best ways to deal with 221 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: food addiction is to replace it. Did gambling apparently so, 222 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: But no, it's just I'm not a competitive person, or 223 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,719 Speaker 1: at least I never thought I was, because I never 224 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 1: did sport. And then here it come in alm of 225 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm publicly accountable on a podcast and a mate. 226 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: It's like, if I don't diet or run at this point, 227 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: that means my mate wins a thousand dollars of me, 228 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: And that was somehow worse than diabetes and heart disease. 229 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 2: And it's funny, like, it doesn't matter how many how 230 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 2: many times people tell you that thing's bad for you, 231 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 2: until you've got the right trigger to make you feel 232 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 2: personally accountable, it just doesn't matter. 233 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: Well, It's a pain thing, isn't it. I'm a big 234 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: person of avoiding pain, and the pain of the diet 235 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 1: and exercise were way too bigger than the pain of 236 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: a future issue with you know, health issues that they're 237 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: not connected. Whereas the pain of losing the money to 238 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: my friend was immediate and that was bigger, and the 239 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: pain the pain. 240 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 4: Of going for a for a walk. 241 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: So that's kind of what I even feel like I 242 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,439 Speaker 1: learned from sobriety is that the. 243 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 4: Pain of sobriety was bad, but. 244 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: The pain of the next day, of the shame and 245 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,199 Speaker 1: the guilt and you know, knowing how gross I was, 246 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: was too immediate. So it was easy to click that off. 247 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: With food, it was harder because the punishment is down 248 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: the track. This is a lad reaction, and the flip 249 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: side is that the positive reaction to exercise and diet 250 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: doesn't show up for ages, So like, why am I 251 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: doing this? You know? So from a to cut as 252 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,559 Speaker 1: long story short, I you know, people can listen to 253 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 1: the podcast to find out how the results went. But 254 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: if you look at our pictures, I think it's quite obvious. 255 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: But but I mean, like I always jokingly said, look 256 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: in the middle of the year. We went on holidays. 257 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: I went to Thailand. He went to mill Jura. So 258 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 1: that gives you an idea as people who won the bet. 259 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 6: Gotcha, gotcha, you're in Thailand with the SPADEO, I imagine. 260 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: What's really interesting is the first bout of that I 261 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: lost with about thirty kilos, which I hovered from day 262 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 1: twenty eighteen to the start of lockdown. But since the 263 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: start of lockdown, I mean, it's weird for me to 264 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 1: announce it, but I've dropped another twenty so it's a 265 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: total Now. 266 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 2: I saw you on the project the other day. There's 267 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 2: nothing less. 268 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, And people are worried about me now because they're like, 269 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: are you okay? Because the other way right, because if 270 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 1: you're a person with impulsive behavior like compulsive sorry, like 271 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,559 Speaker 1: it's only a matter of time before you find something 272 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: else to latch onto it. Yeah, And luckily for me 273 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 1: it's it isn't a problem yet. But I keep saying 274 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 1: yes because I'll again similar to calling mom and telling 275 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,839 Speaker 1: her that, you know, I had might have drunk a 276 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: bit too early. 277 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 4: This is what I do. 278 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,719 Speaker 1: I tell people publicly, going hey, this is I'm so 279 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,439 Speaker 1: good so far, but yeah. 280 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 4: Keep an eye on. 281 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 2: The public accountability model. 282 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 6: It's actually a good way to go about it. 283 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 2: Let people know what you're going through. 284 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 4: Egomaniac. 285 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 1: So I love, you know, protecting my ego, and if 286 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,720 Speaker 1: I feel like i've you know, if I put it 287 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 1: out there, I want to make sure that I come 288 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: out one. I always look at it and looking at 289 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: this like again, never playing team sports. I only want 290 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: to play games that I can either win or learn 291 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: from right and for me, I don't want to play 292 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: with you if there's a loss involved. But if I 293 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: know I can at least learn from it, then great. 294 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 1: So by putting out publicly, what's the worst that can have? 295 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: And I've let people know that I might potentially have 296 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: some trouble and some help. But if I don't, it 297 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: means that I keep staying healthy. 298 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,559 Speaker 4: So either way, I went. 299 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:10,319 Speaker 6: Yeah, that's actually good way I put it. I think 300 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 6: Michael Jordan used to look at the game a similar way. 301 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 6: We're all learned. He used to say, yeah, every game, did. 302 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 2: You get that from the Michael Jordan doco? 303 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 4: He got it for me? 304 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 6: Actually deal just on the weight lost one as well. Mate. 305 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 6: I watched a documentary plot last year. It would have 306 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:35,559 Speaker 6: been about the late comedian slash actor Chris Farley, and 307 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,199 Speaker 6: he basically said within that documentary how difficult it got 308 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 6: for him that he was funny because he was overweight, 309 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 6: and there was one particular sketch he did where he 310 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 6: was dancing shirtless next to Patrick Swayze and it really. 311 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 4: Oh no, no, that was a different character. Sorry, it was 312 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 4: the strippers. 313 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 6: Stripper, remember strippers, And Chris Farley said, people only laughing 314 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 6: because I'm fat and Shwayze's ripped, and they were saying like, no, no, no, no, 315 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 6: it's not that. It's not that, it's the whole you know, 316 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 6: the dancing thing. But deep down, Chris Falley knew that 317 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,599 Speaker 6: that's why people are laughing, and yeah, that's why successful. 318 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 6: I want to ask you, dil, given that you've gone 319 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 6: through such a transformation, was it ever a concern for you, 320 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 6: and I know how passionate you are about stand up comedy, 321 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 6: was it ever a concern for you that losing that 322 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 6: weight and losing that identity was going to impact your comedy. 323 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 4: One hundred percent. I was waiting for you to finish 324 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 4: a question because I. 325 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: Was eaching to say absolutely absolutely, because it was in 326 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: twenty sixteen, I did a show which was probably the 327 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: one that propelled me to a bigger audience for the 328 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: first time. 329 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 4: Well, the first sort of leap. 330 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 1: You know, you do a couple of shows and some 331 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 1: people see you. But then twenty sixteen was the one 332 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: that made me go, oh, I've hit a new level 333 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: and this is pretty exciting, like, you know, people are 334 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 1: coming back to see the show. 335 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 4: It was pretty crazy. 336 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 6: So what was what was the show? 337 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 7: Was? 338 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 6: It was a TV special assign and what was the show? 339 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 4: I'm sorry sorry. 340 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 1: It was the center show to the Melbourne Comedy Firstival fixed 341 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: in and it was it had ninety five percent of 342 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: the jokes were about being fat, and I had this 343 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 1: awakening going, oh my god, hang on, does that mean 344 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 1: that if I. 345 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:11,239 Speaker 4: Dropped weight, that means I lose the ability to pay rent? 346 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 4: And so it became this thing again. 347 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: Australia was so great with being able to talk fun 348 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: of yourself and celebrating that, but because of things like 349 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: toll Poppy syndrome, you're scared to ever celebrate successes, so 350 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: you lean too much into talking about your flaws. And 351 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: that's a good mechanism if it means you can get 352 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: through the day. But if you only sell your only 353 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 1: source of feeling validated is through talking about how flawed 354 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: you are, then you'll never choose to fix it because 355 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: why would you Because people wanted to see you. Yeah, yeah, 356 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: they like you being flawed because you're trying to not 357 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: be higher status than them for them. 358 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 4: Sorry. 359 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 1: And so I then basically made a decision that in 360 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, I'm never gonna I'm not going to do 361 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 1: a single joke about being fat, just to see if 362 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: I'm still funny without it. And it was really hard, Like, 363 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: to be honest, I didn't even meet that. There was 364 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: one joke that's still snuck in, and it was about 365 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: how when I first joined Tinda, I put a picture 366 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: of myself in a pool without a shirt with all 367 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: my man boobs out, and the only thing that said 368 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: in my profile was it was just that picture. My 369 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: profile said my passion is fitness and healthy living and 370 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: I and I needed that story to stay in for 371 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: the rest of the show to work. And that was 372 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 1: but but but that gave me confidence, going there's more 373 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: to me than just being fat, you know, I can't talk. 374 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 4: About other things. And then then the proofs in the 375 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 4: pudding if you're part in the part. The following year, 376 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 4: I started losing weight. 377 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: So there is absolutely a link between what you think 378 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: is you know what your self worth is. And this 379 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 1: is how I'll tie it back to the boozing. It's 380 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: because when I first so I had to go step 381 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: by step. I went with dealing with booze first and 382 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 1: then food and then you know what, whatever my next 383 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: frontier is, you know, and let's that Well, it's a 384 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: self esteem thing. So to round it off is that 385 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: it's like, by telling myself I am worthy enough to 386 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: not feel like crap every more after booze meant that 387 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: I deserved to treat myself better. And then at start 388 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: of twenty eighteen, when I sort of had a real 389 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 1: breakdown about how heavy I'd gotten, I was like, you 390 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 1: know what, because in a weird way, I remember feeling 391 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,160 Speaker 1: a lot of shame at news Eve because I didn't 392 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: have a shirt that would fit me. Everything was too tight, 393 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: And I left the Newsier party eleven thirty because I 394 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: didn't want to be around people. I just wanted to 395 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: go home and I was in bed by eleven fifty five. 396 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 4: The next morning. 397 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 1: I remember looking at myself in my you know, the heaviest, 398 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:29,880 Speaker 1: probably the heaviest that I've owe it, I would say, 399 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: And I said to myself, you know what, what's different 400 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: this time is I actually do love you, and because 401 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: I do love you, the guy in the mirror that 402 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to start giving you some good habits and 403 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 1: as opposed to the self hate that would happen, which 404 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 1: was that I was so repulsed by who I was 405 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 1: that why would I treat myself any better? And why 406 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,199 Speaker 1: would I treat myself any better? If everyone you know 407 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: is constantly laughing at how badly I treat myself and 408 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 1: that's what people like about me. I had to kind 409 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 1: of flip the script on that in that way, and 410 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,680 Speaker 1: now it's kind of disgusting how much I do love myself. 411 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 6: I had a rumor that you actually bought the Shane 412 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,120 Speaker 6: Warn ceiling mirror, so you like to look at yourself when. 413 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: It's just a self mistake with a bunch of phones. 414 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 2: It's a fascinating dynamic, though. It is a fascinating dynamic 415 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:24,399 Speaker 2: to think that that you were so heavily enamored with 416 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 2: the way that Australia had come to love you for 417 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,360 Speaker 2: the things that were self destructive, and then in order 418 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 2: to be happier in yourself, you had to shed the 419 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 2: things which you thought had made you successful up to 420 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 2: that point, or which, let's be honest, probably had made 421 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 2: you successful up. 422 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:41,400 Speaker 1: To that definitely. 423 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 8: And I think this really ties it back to what 424 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,199 Speaker 8: you guys said at the start, which is ultimately I 425 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 8: realized what Australia or the audiences, or my friends or 426 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 8: all these people at UNI, what they gravitated towards wasn't 427 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 8: necessarily a particular thing, but it was someone who was 428 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 8: being their authentic self to an extent, you know what 429 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 8: I mean, for me at the time, being self deprecating, 430 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 8: and it was authentic to me. It's what I found 431 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 8: was funny, but it was just enough. 432 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 4: I just had. 433 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 1: I just didn't want to make I just didn't want 434 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: to hate myself anymore. And so when I transitioned into 435 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,199 Speaker 1: learning how to appreciate and have some self assuredness and respect, 436 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: not in an arrogant way, but just a bit more 437 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 1: of an understanding, they still gravitated towards it, because you're 438 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: still being honest. And I think people just like authenticity. 439 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 1: And it's a bit hard to admit authenticity because you know, 440 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: you feel like you're not good enough. That's why I 441 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: would say I have a lot of imposter syndrome sometimes 442 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: because you feel like, you know, I was an accountant 443 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: from Sri Lanka, Like what am I doing? Performing next 444 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: to all my heroes that inspired me to get it 445 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: into Like you get into comedy like you voice similar 446 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: to me, you know, inspired by Hey Mishion Andy or whoever. 447 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 1: Like like I used to listen to them, you know, 448 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 1: in my accounting job and. 449 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 4: Think, well and on, if they're doing it, why can't I? 450 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, like I get to 451 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: be on like podcast panels with them or in. 452 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,679 Speaker 4: Their TV Like to me, it's a pinch. I have 453 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 4: to pinch myself to know that this is all happening. 454 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: But it's because I had to just finally accept myself 455 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 1: or who I am, rather than trying to fit their mold. 456 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: Like there's a big difference between belonging and fitting in, 457 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: And I think I spent too long trying to fit in, 458 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 1: whereas the reality is I just want to belong. 459 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 6: Oh you're a walking saying that's that's phenomenal. Great. So 460 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,560 Speaker 6: you got that from Michael Jordan as well. 461 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 2: How about that very compliment. You're a walking lebron Oh, 462 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 2: amazing chat. I'm sure a lot of people have got 463 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 2: something out of this. The last thing I really wanted 464 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 2: to talk to you about, Dell, was just your We 465 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 2: saw you on the project the other night talking about 466 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:42,120 Speaker 2: your gratitude and the fact that you think you could 467 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 2: possibly be the most grateful person you've ever met, which 468 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:46,640 Speaker 2: is a. 469 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 4: Lot of flex right. 470 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,439 Speaker 2: I don't think anyone anyone boast about gratitude before. It 471 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,479 Speaker 2: was a strange thing to be. 472 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm a goat, like you know, the whole time. 473 00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 4: The whole time. 474 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 2: Well, look I thought it was I thought it was amazing. 475 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 2: And the good thing the thing I like about gratitude 476 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:10,120 Speaker 2: is I like the fact that like it does actually 477 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 2: if you practice gratitude like you actually can change your 478 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 2: neural pathways to change the way that you think and 479 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 2: feel about life. It's not just like a wishy washy 480 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,440 Speaker 2: thing and something that if you're actually doing it every day, 481 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 2: you can actually genuinely change the makeup of your brain 482 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,200 Speaker 2: so that you start thinking differently, so that you create 483 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 2: a new thinking pattern and. 484 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,159 Speaker 1: The shifts up a paradigm the way you look at it. 485 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: It's like think of it as a lens that you're 486 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 1: looking through the world. 487 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you need to as you said before, about 488 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 2: a muscle, Like it's a muscle that you just need 489 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 2: to keep working on in order to be able to 490 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 2: have that. Because just to explain to everyone, like you 491 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 2: have like a thousand different things that try and filter 492 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 2: from your subconscious through to your conscious every minute, every second, 493 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 2: right like at every moment, you're only aware of about 494 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 2: fifty of them. So if you're practicing something gratitude, what 495 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 2: your what your consciousness does is it starts to prioritize 496 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 2: those things which you've been practicing naturally. So if you're 497 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 2: writing around the world going like thinking about all the 498 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 2: negative things all the time, then naturally that's the top 499 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,159 Speaker 2: layer that you're gonna, you know, the top layer of 500 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 2: fifty thoughts that you're going to take off your subconscious subconsciousness. 501 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 2: But if you're practicing that gratitude, then your brain will 502 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,200 Speaker 2: you're gonna you're not going to generate more optimistic thoughts. 503 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 2: The thoughts are already there, it's just what your conscious 504 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 2: mind is looking for, so you will consciously look for 505 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,919 Speaker 2: more of those positive thoughts. So so you've put this 506 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 2: into a place now where I saw you say the 507 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 2: other day, and I don't think I've ever heard anyone 508 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,640 Speaker 2: say this, because I've heard about people writing gratitude journals, 509 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 2: but you said, you said that you're so grateful at 510 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 2: the moment that you actually found yourself being grateful about 511 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 2: the fact that you were writing a gratitude journal, which 512 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 2: is like gratitude inception. 513 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 6: I don't know. 514 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 1: Deep oh that would say three levels, because what the 515 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,919 Speaker 1: actual thing was it was literally so I do a 516 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 1: gratitude journal, but the list is what I wrote in 517 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,399 Speaker 1: that because I that's how much benefit I get from it. 518 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,679 Speaker 1: I try and you know, do it as often as 519 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: I can. 520 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 7: But I realized that I felt grateful for the fact 521 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,399 Speaker 7: that I feel better after writing a gratitude journal, because 522 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 7: that's how manageable my problems are. 523 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? Like that's something in. 524 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:25,280 Speaker 1: Itself to be grateful. I'm grateful that my problems are 525 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: solvable by a bloody list, Like you know, how lucky 526 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: you have to be, Like you know how. 527 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 5: If you go some people's lives are to be said. 528 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, just take a pregnant wrote But I also 529 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 4: think that gratitude sometimes gets lost. 530 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: At least my understanding of what gratitude works for me 531 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: is that sometimes people try and peg their thing they 532 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 1: want to be grateful for to someone else's misery, like 533 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: saying I am grateful because I have a job when 534 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: everyone else is losing their jobs. But that doesn't solve 535 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 1: your job being crappy if you have a crappy job. 536 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? 537 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: Like people think they want to, oh, I should feel 538 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: grateful that I have so I should feel grateful, like 539 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: it's hard. Like you take Australia right, and it's such 540 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: a like one. I'm arguably one of my favorite places 541 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 1: in the world. Others I wouldn't been here for sixteen years, 542 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: but people growing up here would never have experienced war 543 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,199 Speaker 1: and famine. And the idea to empathize with what war 544 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: and famine is you can sort of intellectually go, oh, 545 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,920 Speaker 1: that would be bad, but to sit back and say 546 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: I'm really grateful that I can I have put all 547 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: the time, or that there's no war in front of 548 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: my house, that it's you know, it's not really going 549 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,479 Speaker 1: to have the same effects. Like you know Rose at 550 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: the end of Titanic, you know, when she's hovering on 551 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 1: the board. 552 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 4: If I'm really grateful for this door, because. 553 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 1: I'm not that frozen DiCaprio going down there. It's not 554 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: gonna quite work. She's still gonna feel miserable because half 555 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,200 Speaker 1: a body is still submerged in water. But I find 556 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,679 Speaker 1: the best gratitude for me is to compare it to myself, 557 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 1: you know what has been You know you guys have 558 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: both aware of Hugh van Kylenberg from the Resilience Project, 559 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 1: and his version of it. 560 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,679 Speaker 4: Is to say what went well for me? 561 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: So I do that where I go what would well 562 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: for me today as opposed to last week or yesterday 563 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 1: or last month, like, because then I have a frame 564 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 1: of reference on what was crap and why this is 565 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: now good. Like. So for example, when we had our 566 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,639 Speaker 1: lockdown in Victoria where you're only getting one hour a 567 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 1: day to go out within five kilometers, I decided that 568 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,119 Speaker 1: I'm going to look at everything I go as if 569 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 1: I was a tourist, and I would try and see 570 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: if I was a tourist here, what would I take 571 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,399 Speaker 1: a sealthie of what do I take a photo? I 572 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't actually do it, because you know, there's really so 573 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: much you can take a sealthie of you know, the 574 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 1: expert pub on Birth Street. 575 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:33,360 Speaker 4: But it is still something that you look at and go, wow, 576 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 4: that's marvelous. That has been a lot of drunk people in. 577 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 1: There or whatever, you know what I mean, a bit silly, 578 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: but there's so much more that you start to look 579 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 1: at what I should walk past all the time and 580 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 1: take for granted. But if you just sort of flip 581 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 1: the framing that you're looking at, it true and and 582 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: for me gratitude again, like now, I am very good 583 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 1: at it. And I'm not even ashamed to. 584 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 4: Say, like I said. 585 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,439 Speaker 1: Such a when I started. 586 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:57,919 Speaker 4: What I started. 587 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: The way I should do it is just give myself 588 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: think so and I do it because brushing my teeth 589 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 1: happens subconsciously. So that's the one thing in the morning 590 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,159 Speaker 1: that I'm just suddenly, you know, you're you're almost like 591 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 1: a robot, and you're in front of the fear with 592 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: the toothbrush. And so what I decide is that before 593 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 1: I pick up the toothbrush, I have to think of 594 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: one thing that has gone well in. 595 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,280 Speaker 4: The last day or the yeah, last week. 596 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: Then then once I think of that, I get to 597 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: pick it up. And then but before I can put 598 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,000 Speaker 1: the toothpaste on, I've got to think of a second, 599 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: and then I got to think of a third before 600 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: I start brushing the teeth. So then what happens is 601 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: by the time I'm brushing my teeth for those two 602 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: three minutes, I've got those three thoughts running through my head, going, 603 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 1: oh yeah, that was that pasta was really tasty, or 604 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 1: it was nice sheet in the mom or I did 605 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,040 Speaker 1: much retr and she's way above my leg, you know, 606 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 1: and you and all of a sudden, you're just in 607 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 1: a good frame of mind in the morning because you 608 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 1: kicked off the day going you know, life is because 609 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 1: that's the problem is. Life is really hard, especially in 610 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 1: this last few months. But just because it's hard doesn't 611 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 1: mean that I can't focus on the things that have 612 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: gone well in find all. 613 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,879 Speaker 6: I feel for I don't know if you have a 614 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 6: partner deal work, but the person has to share a 615 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 6: sync with you would be fucking annoyed by for you 616 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:01,880 Speaker 6: to get through your gratefulness journal. 617 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 1: Well, the Tinder lunch had have gimitted away. 618 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 2: Thanks so much for joining us, Like I'm sorry, I 619 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 2: just quickly I just want. 620 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: To say it's genuinely so don't you think it's incredible 621 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: that since twenty seventeen where we met each other and 622 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,160 Speaker 1: with the stuff we talked about, and here we are 623 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: four or five years later and the conversations are I 624 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: just find it so fascinated and three blogs can actually 625 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: have this, and I think it's a testament to what 626 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 1: you already have been doing over the last few years, 627 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 1: since you know, you spoke about openly about some of 628 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 1: the struggles you've had a will and and that you know, 629 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,119 Speaker 1: the particular clip that you guys posted on online, it 630 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 1: was something I remember I personally shared across every you know, 631 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,960 Speaker 1: my you know Facebook page and things like that, because 632 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: if it meant a lot to a lot of people 633 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,959 Speaker 1: out there to know that you know, you're not I 634 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 1: wasn't the only one who was feeling afraid to admit 635 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,919 Speaker 1: that I'm struggling, And all of a sudden, you have 636 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: more and more people with higher profiles doing it. So 637 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,960 Speaker 1: I just want to say congratulations to you guys, and 638 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: actually awesome, thank you so much for doing what you're 639 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,360 Speaker 1: doing this month as well. Like it's it's so refreshing 640 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 1: to not feel like you have to justify talking about 641 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: these things, you know, what I mean, And it doesn't 642 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 1: have to be. It doesn't have to be a sad 643 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 1: topic can be. You know, you can be serious about it, 644 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,920 Speaker 1: but you can still acknowledge it for it's a human 645 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: experience then just because and because of that, it doesn't 646 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 1: mean that we can't have fun with it and laugh 647 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 1: with it, buff at it even. But so the fact 648 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,640 Speaker 1: that you guys are creating that space is I think 649 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: are truly wonderful things. 650 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,359 Speaker 6: So much, thank you, Thank you deal. 651 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 2: That's so kind of you, mate. Well, look, it's been 652 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 2: a pleasure to talk to you, mate, Like honestly, there's 653 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 2: been so much to get out of this, and I'm 654 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 2: sure everybody listening to this right now would be would 655 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 2: be appreciative of the fact that you've been so open 656 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 2: and honest and like particularly like even just you know 657 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 2: exactly the journey that you've been through for you to 658 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,320 Speaker 2: be able to sort of like name and label all 659 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 2: the different things that you've gone through, which I'm pretty 660 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,960 Speaker 2: sure everybody can can associate with in some sort of 661 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,920 Speaker 2: a way. And the fact that you know, you're now 662 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 2: talking so practically about how you can now be happy 663 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 2: is awesome. Like that, that's that's the best part of it. 664 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 2: You know, we're not having a conversation walking away and 665 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 2: going like, oh, geez, wow, what a journey. You know, 666 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,000 Speaker 2: YadA YadA, YadA, let's get him on, doctor Phil. Uh, 667 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,959 Speaker 2: there's actually like you can just say, hey, guys, one 668 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 2: of the ways that I'm feeling a lot better about 669 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 2: myself is just by this little thing I do when 670 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 2: I brush my teeth, which I just think is extraordinary. 671 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,200 Speaker 2: I think that's that's the most fascinating part about all this. 672 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 4: It's not it's not that thank you guys. 673 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: I think, yeah, I think I'm just really lucky that 674 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 1: I identified early on that I love talking about myself 675 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: and and. 676 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 4: That should be a problem in more social circles. 677 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: Luckily, if I have, if I have that issue, while 678 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: I might as well talk about something that's interesting enough 679 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: might potentially help someone. So it's kind of, you know, 680 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 1: a self fulful im prophecy that I'm doing something. 681 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 2: Word to any consume wherever. Look, he's everywhere at the moment. Really, 682 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 2: if you still you got a stand up show on Amazon? 683 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 2: Is that right at the moment? 684 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 4: I do have it, cold bundle of joy? 685 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 1: What are the chances it's going to be so positive 686 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: as a title, but it's you know, it's got a 687 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,240 Speaker 1: fair bit of darkness, is the actually what it does 688 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 1: cover a bit of the stuff we talked about in 689 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: terms of chair shift of identity, and there's also stories 690 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 1: about losing control of my bowels on Spencer Street. 691 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 2: But you know, light and shide if you want to 692 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,880 Speaker 2: see you on Amazon, if you let yourself go and 693 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 2: do it and remember this November, whatever you grow will 694 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 2: save it, bro signuprom November dot com be the most 695 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 2: important mode you ever grow. Thanks for a great motork deal. 696 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 2: We'll hope you see so man. 697 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 4: My pleasure. Gentlemen, thank you so much for having me 698 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 4: see what you're hearing. 699 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 1: Find us on Instagram and Facebook search Will and Woodie