1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: Oh we're back, baby beautiful. Episode two of this. 2 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 2: It's a couple of deals, a couple of bloody dilves, 3 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 2: one a dilf to be, one a dilf. Yeah, you're 4 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 2: the dilf, Will, I'm a dilf to be and I am, 5 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 2: as you know, will, a massive overthinker. 6 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 7 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 2: And there's a whole bunch of questions and queries that 8 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 2: I've got about being a dad that I'm too embarrassed 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 2: to bring up with my obstetrician, my fiancee, or any 10 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: health professional for that matter. So we provide this safe 11 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 2: space here I'm allowed to just sort of release my 12 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 2: rather embarrassing concerns. 13 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, And there's no judgment from you, is there, 14 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: a big boy? No, no judgment here. 15 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 2: And I should preface because just to save you, you are 16 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: not an expert. No, but your has given me your 17 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: thoughts because you know you've got eleven weeks on me. 18 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 3: Well, we're both sort of airing what's going on? 19 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, bloody eeh, bloody, Just a couple of dils 20 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 2: doing a bit of airing. 21 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 3: All right. 22 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 2: So now last week we actually didn't get I didn't 23 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 2: get through one question, oh yeah, which had a bit 24 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 2: of feedback about it, so you know, I'll try and 25 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 2: keep things on track a bit more. 26 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 3: That's right, because there's a half hour timer that goes off, 27 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 3: isn't there. Yeah, there's a bit of an alarm, right, which. 28 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 4: We didn't which which cut us off last time, mercifully. 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 30 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 2: I only got halfway through my first question. So I 31 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: went to a birthing class on the weekend. Six hours 32 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: of birth in class. 33 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: Actually loved it. 34 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, what sort of birth in class did you do? 35 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: What do you mean what sort? I don't know. I 36 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: don't think they will. 37 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, there's different there's all sorts of different methods and 38 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 4: stuff that you can learn. 39 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 3: You know, we did a hypno birth in class. 40 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: Oh no, I didn't do that. This was I think 41 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: if you had to categorize it. 42 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know there's no standard birth, but standard birth 43 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 2: in class which sort of canvassed a lot of options, right, could. 44 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: Do this, could do this? Right, could try that? 45 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 3: Very open? 46 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 2: How many heat packs should I bring? Where do I 47 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 2: put the heat packs? What positions can you be in? 48 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:09,399 Speaker 1: Right? 49 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 3: Lots of questions? 50 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: What can what can I do to be supporting my partner? 51 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 3: Right? 52 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 4: That's sort of that sort of vibe. Yeah, I think 53 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 4: that's what a birthing class entails. 54 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, but you asked me what type it was. 55 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: I'm telling you there was that one. It was a 56 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: birth in class general. 57 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,679 Speaker 3: How many and how are you going to do it? 58 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 4: Just? 59 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 3: Was it just like you get them all out in 60 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,519 Speaker 3: one quit in one sesshon. 61 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: So hard one session. Won't got another birth in class. 62 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 2: But we have regular comms with the middle contact ran 63 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 2: it Aaron is her name. She's a weapon, real quick 64 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 2: one from birth in class. So we were practicing pelvis 65 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 2: figure rates, do a bit of that action so effectively 66 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 2: mim So my fiance was on all fours and I 67 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 2: had to grab onto her pelvis and do figure rates. 68 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 2: And this is to combat against the body's natural a response, 69 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 2: which is to like keep that all very tight in 70 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 2: your pelvis, which goes against what you're trying to do 71 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 2: to get a baby out, because the pelvis needs to 72 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 2: expand to get the baby's head through. 73 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: So we're doing these figure eights with the pelvis anyway, 74 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 1: got a direction kidding, So how do you feel about that? Like? 75 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 2: Is that is that embarrassing that I It's two part question. 76 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 2: Is it embarrassing that I got aroused. I don't think 77 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 2: anyone else in the class did. There were five couples. 78 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 3: Did mim know, yeah, her botty felt it. 79 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 1: Oh she was. 80 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 3: It was up against your bum. It was you were 81 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 3: up against her bum. 82 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, and maybe. 83 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 3: Why did you put that there? Use your hands? 84 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: Well, no I had to. I was using my hands, but. 85 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 3: You were using your hands. 86 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 2: But if I'm not up against her, then I'm really 87 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 2: reaching my hands forward. 88 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: I don't think you need Maybe they could have been 89 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: separation there. 90 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 3: I don't think you needed to rub you. 91 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: So maybe I was doing it wrong. 92 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 3: It's ever happened in an actual birth. 93 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: Well, this is what I was going to ask you. 94 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: Is it going to be problematic? 95 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 3: If I think so? Do you like when you see 96 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 3: what's going on in there? 97 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 2: You know? 98 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 3: I almost want to. 99 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: Chop it off? Bloody hell is? 100 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 4: But I never want to end up in these areas ever. Again, 101 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 4: May this be the last time we're in this position? 102 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 4: Because Quat's it's confronting. 103 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I definitely, And I've seen a bit of 104 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 2: footage now and I know it's very confronting, very difficult 105 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 2: for her, and obviously a very emotional time. 106 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,679 Speaker 1: But still, if I'm doing those pelvis figure eights. 107 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 3: Well, that's kind of I mean, like, that's the other 108 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 3: thing i'd say about. 109 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 4: I mean, like, again, as we always stress in this podcast, 110 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 4: it's horses for courses, right, what works for you? 111 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 2: I think it's a pretty weird horse if I'm getting 112 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 2: aroused by the birth though, isn't it. 113 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 4: No, No, I'm not talking about you know, you get 114 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,040 Speaker 4: an interaction during a birth and glass. 115 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 3: I had to stay on the ground, by the way, 116 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 3: I was going to say, how did you manage that? 117 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 2: So I was on my knees when I was doing 118 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 2: the figure rates and then air in the mid one life. 119 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,039 Speaker 2: She said, you know, what a good job everyone. Let's 120 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 2: move back to a bit of practical. We'll just go 121 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,119 Speaker 2: back to your seat. 122 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:08,919 Speaker 1: And you were just down there. It's like, I just 123 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: stay down doing cat cows. Stay down? 124 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 3: What would you say you were doing? 125 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: I did know. 126 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 2: I just I just stand on my knees for a 127 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 2: long time. I started, I started stretching. She didn't ask 128 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 2: any questions, Oh my god, what you like? 129 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: Nah? But it was it was it was enough for you. 130 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 3: You were wearing short you don't wear any jocks as well. 131 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 2: Quite often I was wearing underwear, but I was wearing 132 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 2: like a pretty thin board short board shorts and I 133 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 2: was obviously concerned, embarrassed, shamed. 134 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm glad I've spoken about it. But that's just 135 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: a little, quick little story from me. 136 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 4: Well, it just because when you said, like in the birth, sweet, 137 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 4: is that going to happen to me? I found because 138 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 4: you know, so we probably did I'm going to say 139 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 4: probably six or seven birth. 140 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 3: In classes to one of yours. 141 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, you came along to one of ours and we 142 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 4: did hypno birthing. And I mean when you hear hit 143 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 4: the word hypno birthing, you think like they're dangling a 144 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 4: thing in front of their head. It's not about that 145 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 4: at all. It's more Sam didn't want to take any 146 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 4: drugs during the birth, so it's about her ability to 147 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:16,039 Speaker 4: get control of her mind. So and that the birth, 148 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 4: the hypno birthing side of it, was fascinating for me 149 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,279 Speaker 4: because you know, I'm not into manifesting. I don't like 150 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 4: the idea of visualizations and things like that. 151 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:24,799 Speaker 3: I don't think that they work. 152 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 4: I don't believe in them in terms of like if 153 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 4: you think of them as like a I'm wishing for 154 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 4: this hence I will get this. I don't like that. 155 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 4: I like it's as you know, it's it's confirmation by it. 156 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 4: So if I continue to remind myself of this, when 157 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 4: that thing comes up, it will feel as if I 158 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:42,600 Speaker 4: have wished it into being. 159 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: It takes away from the hard work as well, a 160 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: little bit, doesn't it. 161 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: What's that, well, manifestation takes away from now I actually 162 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 2: worked really hard to get that. 163 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what I mean, I can't. 164 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 3: That plays into it a little bit for sure. 165 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 4: But what I but obviously hypnosis is effect is effectively 166 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 4: matfesting repetitively. 167 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 168 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 4: So what you're doing is you're kind of like embedding 169 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 4: your subconscience with subconsciousness with an idea constantly to the 170 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 4: point that you're you're kind of like hardwiring or like 171 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 4: massaging the neural pathways so that when that thing comes up, 172 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 4: that's what your brain falls into, right, So you're kind 173 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 4: of like over and over and over, so you're visualizing 174 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 4: your thinking. And so a big part of the birth 175 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 4: in class was like sem had up in the bathroom 176 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 4: all these flash cards about like what the birth, how 177 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 4: a baby came out of her, and like words that 178 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 4: she would use and that she would look at them 179 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 4: in the shower all the time. My body is this, 180 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 4: I'm going to be okay because of this, I'm confident 181 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 4: in my body. 182 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 3: So that stuff so that when the going. 183 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 4: Gets tough in the birth suite, she can go back 184 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 4: those things. Well, she didn't need to think them up. 185 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 4: It's just like they were there. It's just like, you 186 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 4: can do this. Your body is confident you should be. 187 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 4: So she had them as like reminders. 188 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 3: So that's the way that hypno. But that's why he 189 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 3: had to do it over a period. 190 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 4: Of time, So that kind of like comes automatic, like 191 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 4: someone that doesn't want to do drugs. A lot of 192 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 4: the time in births and I've never given birth and 193 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 4: i don't know all that much about them, but from 194 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 4: what Joe was telling us, a lot of the time 195 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 4: when your midwife that was that was our hippo birthing instructor. 196 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 4: A lot of the times when when women go for 197 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 4: drugs is because it's there at a point where they 198 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 4: can't think, they don't think they can. 199 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: Go any further. 200 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, of course, so you've got that hypno birthing that 201 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 4: hopefully that and it doesn't work all the time, but 202 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 4: you've kind of got those things there to try and 203 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 4: hopefully give you a bit more longevity in terms of 204 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 4: the pain that you're going through, so you like, yes, 205 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 4: I know, I can feel payment. 206 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 3: One of the things that Sam had to a war was. 207 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 4: I can do anything for a minute, because contractions would 208 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 4: come for a minute, so I can do I can 209 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 4: do anything for a minute. 210 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 3: One more. 211 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: That's when we go to the hospital. 212 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 3: I can do one more. 213 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 2: Learned that from Oh yeah, when you get a when 214 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 2: the contraction goes for a minute and coming regularly, give 215 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,440 Speaker 2: us a call or just take them straight. 216 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,079 Speaker 3: You had a birth time a time contractions. 217 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: I don't know there was an app. 218 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was bloody easy either just started get. 219 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: Good contraction men, really good. We're at forty five. 220 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 3: Go on, I sub no he's had an app. 221 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a great idea. 222 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 3: That's all. 223 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 2: The that visualization stuff is super interesting because something that 224 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: Erin talked about I don't think she necessarily put it 225 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 2: under the banner of hypnosis, but she said that a 226 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 2: number of women that she's been the midwife for have 227 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 2: really helped with seems so simple, but one lady had 228 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 2: these blocks with different colors. 229 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 3: On them and. 230 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,719 Speaker 1: She would just sit there during a contraction or during the. 231 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 2: Birth, and she would go yellow red, yellow, red, yellow, red, yellow, red, yellow, red, yellow, red, yellow, red, yellow, red, and. 232 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,320 Speaker 1: Just flipping the blocks. And when she sees yellow, says yellow. 233 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: When she sees red, she sees red, and just in 234 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: that mind of her in like a trance. 235 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 2: And then the other big thing she said was because 236 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 2: she related a birth to a marathon. And she always said, like, 237 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 2: if you're fifteen ks into a marathon, you're not going 238 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 2: to say to someone who's fifteen k in who might 239 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 2: be struggling for you, maybe you should stop. You know, 240 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,200 Speaker 2: you've got twenty five k's to go, it's a long 241 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 2: way to go. You're gonna say, let's just go one 242 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 2: cat of ton. 243 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's just go break it down. 244 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: Let's just go wake it down. 245 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, which which would do a lot. I think, yeah, 246 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 3: well that's well. So the reason I brought up the 247 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 3: what like what we did with. 248 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 4: The birthing class because you your original question was will 249 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,599 Speaker 4: I get a boner if I do figure eates in 250 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 4: the birth state. I didn't use the word boner, but yeah, 251 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 4: will you well erection, I mean, what do you want 252 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 4: to call it will I get a bone. We'll like 253 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,559 Speaker 4: an direction the best way if we're doing figure ates 254 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 4: with the hips. So you were actually there for the 255 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 4: birth class when we did all the positions, the different 256 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 4: positions that sim could do. 257 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 2: Yes, this is weird without context, but I was handcuffed 258 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 2: to you for it. 259 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: But go on, Yeah, I can't be bobbly explaining context. 260 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: But I was handcuffed back there. 261 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. 262 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 4: But I found when we got to the birth sweee, 263 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 4: that you get all this stuff in your arsenal, so 264 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 4: like these are all the different positions and moves and stuff. 265 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 4: And I think it was a little bit helpful early 266 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 4: on maybe, but once sem knew what worked for her, 267 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 4: like what was good for her, like that was it? Yeah, 268 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 4: it was like it was and she did she did. 269 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 4: She didn't use any drugs in the end. She just 270 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,559 Speaker 4: had the tens machine. She was as soon as the 271 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 4: tens machine was working for her. She was like that 272 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 4: all the time. And then it would be like she'd 273 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 4: try she'd go into one position for a while, I'm 274 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 4: going back to that one. I'm going to go on 275 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 4: the shower now. And they were like the kind of 276 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 4: these three points. There was no like, oh why don't 277 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 4: we you know, stop things up and do a bit 278 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 4: of a what was that massage with the towel. 279 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 3: Down all fours into the ribosa. 280 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: She would have told me to get fucked. I've been 281 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: practicing that a lot. It's not about me. This is 282 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: what Aaron said. Aaron said to all the couples in 283 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: this birthing class. 284 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 2: She was like, right, write a list, and this is 285 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 2: this is sort of on on men. What what do 286 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,960 Speaker 2: you need? What do you want in certain times? What 287 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 2: do you want from your birth? And then I can 288 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 2: know that because, as you just said, at no point 289 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 2: can I go. I think it's a good idea to 290 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,719 Speaker 2: try this. It's I don't give a ship what you think, Like, well, 291 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: you can suggest, I said, Then they're quite helpful because 292 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 2: because I might get what I mean. It's like I 293 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,440 Speaker 2: think of the seventh time, if I'm asked for hip, 294 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 2: figure rates me beyond tomor No. 295 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 3: You know, you know the things that are canceled. 296 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 4: But I think it's nice to be kind of light 297 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 4: and proposing things. Oh yeah, because because you know, you're 298 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 4: kind of like a you know, a five year old 299 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 4: playing an NBA game. You might get one shot in 300 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 4: a thousand oh sure. 301 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: You're still there. 302 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,319 Speaker 3: I'd be like yeah, musically, but you know, do you 303 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 3: want to do a bit of war, you. 304 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 4: Know, like I just I'd just be constantly lobbing these 305 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 4: things up, but more often than not, it was. 306 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 3: Get the hell out of my face. 307 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it was nice to know that 308 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,959 Speaker 4: I had a few things, you know, a new total 309 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 4: also need to keep saying as well, Oh yeah, of. 310 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 2: Course, but it's good to know, like what to have 311 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 2: a bit more of a guide as to when you 312 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 2: offer things. So I didn't realize this is about mim, 313 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 2: but Mim said, if I hear noises in the background, 314 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 2: I want to know what those noises were and what 315 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 2: that means for the pregnancy. Whereas me, I'm head in 316 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 2: the sand. So I could have gone into that birth 317 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 2: being like, make sure we don't tell her what that 318 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 2: noise was. 319 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: Where if she gets more anxious if she hears the sound. 320 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, no, the birth plan that the birth plan is 321 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:43,079 Speaker 4: critical and for the hospital staff as well, and it's 322 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 4: a great idea we have, like no, no medication. Didn't 323 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 4: want to know how dilated she was. You get on 324 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 4: the gas, no gas, no nothing. It was all like 325 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 4: but that was it was quite. Yeah, she don wonted 326 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 4: how dilated she was. She didn't want any medication. She 327 00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 4: didn't want to be she didn't want. 328 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: To what is broken? Like, it was quite. 329 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 4: We had them like pinned up on the wall so 330 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 4: that when the next midwife came in and they checked out, 331 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 4: they could go and check it and be like, oh, okay, 332 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 4: So we have to have that discussion every time. So 333 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,319 Speaker 4: there's the there's the playlist. Yeah, get with it. 334 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: Read. 335 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, so yours might say, you know, wants to know 336 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 4: what's going on in the background. 337 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, occasionally partner gets erections. 338 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good warning to have. That's a good 339 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: flag to various different things. 340 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 2: I mean, it's a discreete flag I should give to 341 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 2: all the midwives before. 342 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: I wouldn't mention it, okay, really okay, Well maybe if. 343 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 3: You're about to do the figure aids, like if you're on. 344 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 4: If you're there, m's on all fours and you're there 345 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 4: and she like, do some figure aids. 346 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 2: Because I do think it helped too, Like I think 347 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 2: it loosened up the pelp. Not my not my excitement, 348 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 2: no figure rate itself. 349 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 4: I'm sure it did, Sure it did, But I would 350 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 4: be flagging. Yeah, I'd probably be flagging that if you're 351 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 4: in that situation. 352 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: Could could get excited. 353 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 2: God, that's a weird that is if I fall aside 354 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 2: a midwife and just so you know, can I get excited? 355 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 4: Did mim mum ask you? Have you had like a 356 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 4: chat around your role with like the doctors. 357 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 3: And stuff that that'd be a good thing to talk about, 358 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,119 Speaker 3: because I didn't because. 359 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 2: I we've we've got we've been seeing the same ob Yeah. 360 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but he'll only but he'll only be there 361 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 4: at the crunch time. Oh yeah, so you'll have like 362 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 4: coming in and coming out during the labor and stuff. 363 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 4: Oh right, yeah, Because the only reason I say that 364 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 4: is we so I've spoken to you about this before 365 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 4: the In order to have a contraction that the woman produces, 366 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 4: oxytocin needs to produce oxytocin, right, and oxytocin stops being 367 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 4: released when adrenaline is released, So it's a survival instincts. 368 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 4: So it's like, but you're you're releasing adrenaline because you're 369 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 4: like you're scared or you're intimidated by something. Hence your 370 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 4: oxytocin turns off because you're like, I'm not giving birth here. 371 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 3: This is dangerous. 372 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. 373 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 2: It's like when you go home and you really need 374 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 2: to take a poo and you think you can hold it, 375 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 2: and then when you get to the door and you're like, 376 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 2: oh god, it's it. 377 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, I'm going to let you equate 378 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 3: birth to giving a poop. 379 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 2: Didn't equate that. I equated the oxytocin adrenaline. I was 380 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 2: not a quating verb, but those that's that's your bank. 381 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 2: No oxytose and adrenaline thing, and the adrenaline that you. 382 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: Can hold it. 383 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 4: I don't know if you need oxytosin to take a ship, 384 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 4: but you know what I mean, I know it's a 385 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 4: nice safe space. 386 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 2: Oh god, yes, And you're fiddling with the key and 387 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 2: you're like, I'm going to purp fans. 388 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: Yeah sure, okay. 389 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 4: So and obviously it's different for different people because it's 390 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 4: funny when Mim said, I want to know what those 391 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 4: noises and stuff, so Sam gets very very very socially anxious. 392 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 4: So if there's a new person that comes into a 393 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 4: room and goes like, yo, what's up, And keep in mind, 394 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 4: I mean this is always what always astonishes me about birth. 395 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 4: In general, we're trying to cultivate oxytocin. So off, when 396 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 4: you go into birth sweets, there's like beautiful lamps and 397 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 4: you play your music on. It's lovely la la lah, 398 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 4: and you know you have a chance to put the 399 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 4: music you want on and candles. 400 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,360 Speaker 3: And all this sort of stuff right to try and. 401 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 4: Get this ambience where it's you know, oxytocin inducing oxydosin 402 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 4: is a love chemical. 403 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 3: But then at the. 404 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 4: Same time, you've got a woman who's totally nerd with 405 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 4: strangers coming in and just like putting things in her 406 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 4: vagina to see, you know, how dilated and stuff she is, 407 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 4: which is the anti which is adrenaline that's oxydosed. So 408 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 4: for someone like Sam, every time a doctor came in, 409 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 4: her conjections were happening very naturally. And then every time 410 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 4: a doctor would come in and you know, swing his 411 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 4: dick around and be like right, okay, well not literally 412 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,360 Speaker 4: he's not, you mate, doing figure eights, but he'd come 413 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,199 Speaker 4: in and be like, right, you know how many you 414 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 4: know a bad time? You know we're going to get 415 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 4: induction and are we going to get you know, all 416 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 4: that sort of stuff. See it well exactly because at 417 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,360 Speaker 4: the end of the day, you're holding up a hospital 418 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 4: bed sims exactly as adrenaline would just go and then 419 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 4: the contractions would die in the ass and I'd be saying, 420 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 4: and they're going, You've totally fucked all our momentum. 421 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,400 Speaker 3: Like we were in a great spot there. So but 422 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 3: Sam knew that was going to happen. So I started 423 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 3: having chats with doctors at the door and I'd be like, Yo, 424 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 3: talk to me, She's things are going on in there. 425 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it was a good it was. It was 426 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,640 Speaker 4: a nice middle ground, and Sam trusted me with having 427 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 4: to vet the information before it came to her as well, 428 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 4: because it was also there was sometimes information like towards 429 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 4: the end of the birth, and you know what happened 430 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 4: with our birth. I don't want to go into detail, 431 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 4: but towards the end of the birth, there were conversations 432 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 4: that there's no way Sem needed to know, Yeah, sure, 433 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 4: because it just would have been awful. She'd like, sure, sweet, 434 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,880 Speaker 4: well I've just been wasting. I just wasted the last 435 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 4: seventeen hours, you know, And I just know I could 436 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 4: have wanted her. 437 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 3: To have that information. Yeah, So sure, I don't know. 438 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 4: I feel like that's a That was probably one of 439 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 4: the most useful things I found about the birth was 440 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 4: the who I was the primary channeler of the comms? 441 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,719 Speaker 4: What does SEM need to know? What doesn't SEM need 442 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 4: to know? And it was nice And you know, Mim 443 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,240 Speaker 4: has the same of trust with you as Semon with me. 444 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: It's just old. Listen to get back into figure eights. 445 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 2: I know it's the seventh time he said that he's 446 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,919 Speaker 2: after it. Everyone get out of the room. 447 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, now let me get to my first question, 448 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 4: because we've done it again. 449 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: But this is actually links in beautifully. 450 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 2: So this is that we've talked about birth a bit, 451 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 2: which has been really good, but so straight after. 452 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,879 Speaker 4: The birth, there was a lot I should if we 453 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 4: go on, but I hope, because I hope it's largely 454 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 4: dad that listen to this, Like. 455 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: It's not going to be women. 456 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 2: I think women, if they're wanting to learn something from this, 457 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 2: go to another podcast. 458 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 4: Yeah stress, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think largely all the 459 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 4: things that you or I will say in here, yeah, 460 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 4: whether you finally entertaining as a woman or not. Hopefully there 461 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 4: are some dads or young dads or aspiring dads who 462 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 4: are listening to this who can either a empathize or 463 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 4: be I. 464 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 2: Don't know, because because all you want to do, if 465 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 2: you're a bloke listening to this right now and all 466 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 2: we want to do now with our current children or 467 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,719 Speaker 2: me with my pregnant partners, be like the best support 468 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 2: person you can be. 469 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: But it can be a complicated beast. 470 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you get knowing what you definitely do and 471 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,120 Speaker 2: what's what's the best thing. 472 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 4: Definitely And I was talking to my psych about this 473 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 4: the other day, the sense of judgment that you have 474 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 4: on yourself as as. 475 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 3: Your role, as like what it was your role, and. 476 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 4: Because it's so easy to slip into I mean ultimately, 477 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 4: and you hear these stories all the time, they're there 478 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 4: as a man. 479 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 3: Ultimately, if we're really stripping it back, you don't have 480 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 3: to do anything. You can You can go down to 481 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 3: the fucking cafeteria. You can get yourself a coffee and 482 00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 3: you can read the back page of the sport. 483 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: And some do. We've had those calls on this radio. 484 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 3: Some do, truly, some do. So you've got that option. 485 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 4: But obviously if you you know have if you're in 486 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 4: a relationship with you consider to be a partnership and 487 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 4: you really care for each other. You want your role, 488 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 4: you want to do something. But as you pointed out 489 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 4: just then, it's really hard to find that line where. 490 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 3: You're actually being useful. 491 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:33,360 Speaker 4: Versus you're being you're overreaching, or you're you're almost being 492 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 4: self serving. You know, it's almost sometimes you can forget 493 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,680 Speaker 4: you know, it's saying we were joking about it before, 494 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 4: I want to try my Robosa massage. 495 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 3: It's it's not about you. It's like what do they 496 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 3: want and how can I fulfill that role? 497 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 2: And sometimes it is hard to put because your ego 498 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 2: to an extent away, because you can think that they 499 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 2: want that yes, because you're like, I've been in the 500 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 2: classes and I know that this will feel Better's like, 501 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,639 Speaker 2: as you said, for suggest it, yeah, I don't want 502 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 2: to do it. 503 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: Just roll with it and move on to what they 504 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:04,679 Speaker 1: really need. 505 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 3: And and and the other. 506 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 4: Well, the other really tricky part is and this is 507 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 4: when you're you know, at the thin ende of the wedge, 508 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 4: when you're in the in the in the birthing suite 509 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 4: and it's all happening. Is when you feel as if 510 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 4: they're the thing that they want most mm hmm, they 511 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 4: can't have anymore, and you're you're You've got to read 512 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 4: it and go, at what point do I am? I? 513 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,719 Speaker 4: Because it's you, You're the only person that can do it, 514 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 4: And at what point am. 515 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 1: I going to go? 516 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 3: I can handle that to the doctor. 517 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:47,119 Speaker 4: You can try, But I know Sam would defer to 518 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 4: me in that situation, She'd go, what do you think? 519 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 4: And you you need to have a conversation where you go, 520 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,400 Speaker 4: I know how bad you wanted this beforehand, and whether 521 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 4: that is did you want to have a home birth? 522 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 4: Did you not want to do drugs? Did you want 523 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 4: to avoid an epidural? Did you not want to have 524 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 4: a cesarean? Whatever that is? Did you did you want 525 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 4: to avoid induction? All of those different things that women 526 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 4: can want in a plan before birth, or that you 527 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 4: can want as a partnership before birth. You have to 528 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 4: be open to the fact that any one of those 529 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 4: things can happen. It's a birth, like anything can happen. 530 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 4: So at what point do you have to let the 531 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 4: other person down? 532 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,640 Speaker 3: And and like how how you go about that? 533 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 4: Is it's a hard I mean, ultimately, the safety of 534 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,719 Speaker 4: the baby will always come first, so that kind of 535 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 4: smashes through it. Yeah, but it is a it's a 536 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 4: it's a tricky it's a tricky conversation. Yeah, you constantly. 537 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 4: I feel like I was constantly negotiating in birth class. 538 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,360 Speaker 4: Oh we didn't get that, and as you know, I'm 539 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 4: just not allowed to talk about what happened in our birth. 540 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 4: It was very it was very traumatic, put it that way. 541 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 4: And we went for a long time and ended up 542 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,439 Speaker 4: in exactly the opposite that we wanted it to end 543 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 4: up in. But I felt like I was just negotiating 544 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,399 Speaker 4: the whole time. As Keanu Reeves says in The Replacements, 545 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 4: So quicksand. 546 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,400 Speaker 1: You know, ah, yeah, one. 547 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 4: Thing goes wrong and then the other thing goes wrong 548 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,399 Speaker 4: or I don't I'm wrong. It just didn't go the 549 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 4: way expect. Didn't go to the way expect didn't expect. 550 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 4: And you're constantly just like you're in quicksand you're just 551 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 4: constantly fighting, but you're sinking. 552 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and. 553 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 4: That that you know, that can have a nice first 554 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 4: so but you've got to play that role where you're 555 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 4: kind of the support but also the person to let 556 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 4: her down, which is a shocking place to be. 557 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 2: But I think what I'm taking from that though, is 558 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 2: I want to have that chat with Mim though, so 559 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 2: if this happens, we. 560 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: Can war game it. 561 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, you wore game it. 562 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: Yeah it happens. How do we want to do? 563 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 3: Flow chart? 564 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: If this happens, how do you want to do? 565 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you do it on the spot. I found 566 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 3: like the clock really helpful as well. I'd be like, 567 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 3: you know what if we're still in the. 568 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 4: Same situation now, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll have another chat 569 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 4: about it then. 570 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 571 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 3: If not, let's get those figure outs going. 572 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: Baby, what do you keep saying? 573 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 2: They work a real treat? You mentioned shower before. This 574 00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,040 Speaker 2: isn't my question, but I have thought this before. So 575 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 2: something that Mim and I have talked about is she 576 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 2: was like, if I because she loves being the shower 577 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 2: when she's really hungover, she. 578 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 1: Lies down in the shower. 579 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's shocking for water wastage, but that's just 580 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 2: what she needs. 581 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 1: She needs to lie down in the shower. 582 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so she it's a winner. 583 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 2: She suspects that she's going to spend a long time 584 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,200 Speaker 2: in the shower during the birth. 585 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, have you got a bath? 586 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 3: Have you got you've got a bath in the suite. 587 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 1: If they've got an option, I don't know. She's not 588 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:27,119 Speaker 1: so much a bath person. 589 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 2: She actually had a bath two nights ago, which she 590 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 2: said was really good, but generally speaking she doesn't like baths. 591 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: She prefers shower. Yeah. 592 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 4: Well, as we always says horses of course. Yeah, but 593 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 4: the water things is amazing how that works. I still 594 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 4: remember Seem got in the shower and she was like, 595 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 4: oh yeah, she took the tens machine off. 596 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 3: She was like she don't even know. 597 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 4: Oh wow, the only two natural remedies to birth pain 598 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 4: and movement and water. 599 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: Did you buy the tens machineer? 600 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 3: Did you high waied it? 601 00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: So I can't borrow yours? I got the legs around 602 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 1: the back. 603 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 3: Tens Australia. 604 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, so that was that was pretty good 605 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 2: quoal Yeah, it was good because I was just worried 606 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 2: about you know, when you say you have a scratch 607 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 2: on the d v D and you'd be like, I 608 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,680 Speaker 2: didn't rewind. 609 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 1: It, like I don't want to get to the berth 610 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: and go. 611 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,919 Speaker 3: Were saying that a couple of fresh fresh strips. 612 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 4: If for those listening you don't know what it is there, 613 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 4: it's a it's like it's a they're like pads that 614 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,360 Speaker 4: you put on your on your body and then there 615 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 4: on your lower back, either side of your spine, and 616 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 4: then they emit an electric pulse through your back that 617 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,200 Speaker 4: you press down men of the contraction. 618 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,919 Speaker 1: And it confuses the neural pathway, does it really? It 619 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,359 Speaker 1: makes it wobbly? Oh right, so pain is just a 620 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: neural path Yeah right, it just confuses it. 621 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 2: So every dural blocks it, yep, literally doesn't get through 622 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 2: tens machine makes it wobbling. Right, It's like a bit 623 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 2: confused as to what is being sentered. 624 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: I that's I. 625 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 4: I would recommend putting trying one. Trying to put one 626 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 4: on before because I was in a lot of pain 627 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 4: and I was like, all right, what are we thinking? 628 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,360 Speaker 4: She was like tense machine and I was like, beautiful, 629 00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 4: open the box and I was like. 630 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 3: Oh no, there's a lot going on here. She was 631 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,479 Speaker 3: like what's going on? 632 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know. 633 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 4: And you've got these like strips that you're trying to 634 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 4: pull back. But you'll be fine because you've got a 635 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 4: sexual tension lover, and that it's exactly set up exactly 636 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 4: the same. 637 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 1: Way, and there's the alarm. Actually might be one thing 638 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 1: I'm quite good at. 639 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,439 Speaker 2: Alrighty Once again I did not get to my first question, 640 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 2: but really good one on birth. I'd say, if we 641 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 2: had to retrospectively explain the theme, what did you just 642 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 2: pull out your fans. 643 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 3: As a dog shit bagh? 644 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 2: Your life, your life, it's either a nappy or a 645 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:53,560 Speaker 2: dog shit bag if there was, If I could retrospectively, 646 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 2: so what the theme was? 647 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 1: I think it was birth. 648 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 2: So if you're, as you said before, if you're a 649 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 2: partner going into a berth, that'd be a good listen. 650 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, maybe who knows. 651 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,480 Speaker 4: Again, I can only relay my experience and you can 652 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 4: only you can only bring. 653 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 1: To the for your fears. 654 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, which today was like an erection of the birthday. 655 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 3: That was the whole bit. 656 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,120 Speaker 4: Rewinded back to its inception. 657 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, which, sorry real cook before we finished, did you 658 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 2: get naked in the shower with Sam when. 659 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 1: She was okay? 660 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 3: I just left her alone. 661 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: You didn't get in the shower at all. No, I 662 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: just left her alone because men brought up she wants 663 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 1: me in there? 664 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could definitely do it. 665 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 4: I mean you can, you can if I obviously offered, 666 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 4: but she wanted to. Yeah, I mean we're going with 667 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 4: the podcast over mate, I'm sorry. 668 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 2: Because because I know, because the midwife also was running 669 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 2: the birth in class. We're talking about nudity in the room. 670 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: You because you're in the hospital. 671 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, she said, Look, midwives aren't expecting to walk in 672 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 2: the room. 673 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 1: And see ye speed I think speedos is probably a 674 00:28:59,400 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: good idea. 675 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't be nerdy this year. 676 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 1: I just thought to be really. 677 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 2: Nice though, to be naked to get I don't make 678 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 2: her feel more comfortable if I'm naked as well. 679 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: That was going on in my head. 680 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 2: But yeah, air in the midwife was just like the 681 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 2: midwives don't anything seen. They're trying to get fair enough, 682 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 2: fair enough packed some speedos good