Speaker 1: That's strange.
Speaker 2: Hold that, Hey, guys, and welcome back to another episode
Speaker 2: of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany, and before I introduced our
Speaker 2: guests today, I'm just gonna say we've had to mix
Speaker 2: it up a little bit. This is Tuesday, but we
Speaker 2: are doing our Thursday's Ask Uncut episode and I have
Speaker 2: a very special guest with me back by questionably popular demand.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure we have.
Speaker 1: Hang on hang on a second, britt A lot of
Speaker 1: people did say we really enjoyed the episode with Mattie Jay,
Speaker 1: and we would like to have him back for more
Speaker 1: episodes because it gives us information that we wouldn't normally
Speaker 1: get access too.
Speaker 2: So you wrote that, but what did everyone else write? No,
Speaker 2: we did get so much amazing feedback. Actually, I was
Speaker 2: almost really surprised.
Speaker 1: Too much, too.
Speaker 2: Much, too much.
Speaker 1: Laura was like, we have created a monster. I was
Speaker 1: stuck in the bedroom. My head was hugely inflated.
Speaker 2: How many burner accounts did you make? No, guys, we
Speaker 2: do have matt back. I guess the good thing about
Speaker 2: having Maddie and he's having that guy's perspective because we've
Speaker 2: never had a guy in the podcast before. But Matc
Speaker 2: is a really good introspective look into the way the
Speaker 2: male mind works.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see I'm arrogant when I say this,
Speaker 1: brit So forgive me if it does come across this way.
Speaker 1: But I am a genius.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's pretty arrogant.
Speaker 1: And I think it would only be unfair to the
Speaker 1: listeners of Life on Cut if I didn't give my
Speaker 1: knowledge to them as well. So you know, I'm here
Speaker 1: to please. I'm a giver. It's great to be back.
Speaker 2: Look, it's good to have you guys. This wasn't actually planned.
Speaker 2: Just so you know what is going on Laura. Laura's
Speaker 2: baby is just going nuts. It's having a little disco
Speaker 2: dance party. It's causing her a little bit of a havoc.
Speaker 2: She needs to go and have a little rest and
Speaker 2: a time out. We've put her in the corner in
Speaker 2: another room, and Matt just sort of got thrown in here.
Speaker 2: So how do you feel about this not even being
Speaker 2: like a planned thing? You haven't even had time to
Speaker 2: think about it.
Speaker 1: I was having my first mouth of salmon when you
Speaker 1: rushed out into the living room and said can you
Speaker 1: step up to the plate, And I was like, ah.
Speaker 2: You like I was born for this. I've been waiting
Speaker 2: for this moment.
Speaker 1: Just ripped off my T shirt. My life uncut vest
Speaker 1: was there. Laura is having all sorts of trouble with
Speaker 1: this baby, literally doing a scene from Alien clawing its
Speaker 1: way out. So I'm happy to step up last minute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the time has come where Laura fought us on
Speaker 2: her This is her baby. She does not give this
Speaker 2: podcast up easily. She had no choice. We put her
Speaker 2: in the corner and we're like, you know what, take
Speaker 2: a breather, but tell me what has been happening in
Speaker 2: your life. I feel like I haven't caught up with
Speaker 2: you in about twelve hours.
Speaker 1: It's been a pretty boring week, except accept Britt. I
Speaker 1: had the most extravagant Saturday planned just gone on the weekend,
Speaker 1: had a mate's fortieth, I had the heat wave was on,
Speaker 1: so I was going to go down to the beach.
Speaker 1: I had so much going on, and I had the
Speaker 1: worst case of spitty bums as they call it in
Speaker 1: the medical profession, gashtro gastritis. All right, you show up.
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure if I was going to admit this
Speaker 1: or not. And Laura may edit this out of the podcast.
Speaker 2: She won't.
Speaker 1: But I fell asleep on Friday night fully clothed. I
Speaker 1: went to bed at maybe like five or six o'clock
Speaker 1: thinking I was going to vomit, and I hate vomiting,
Speaker 1: so I just thought I'm going to sleep it off.
Speaker 1: Throughout the night. There was one moment where I woke
Speaker 1: up because I had to fart, and I pushed it out, and.
Speaker 2: I though, shut the bed.
Speaker 1: Please tell me, No, I didn't because I was fully clothed.
Speaker 2: Shut your pants, because that's so much better.
Speaker 1: And Laura didn't sleep in the bed because she didn't
Speaker 1: want to get sick, so she slept in Marley's room.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I woke up the next morning
Speaker 1: and it was six am, and I was like, thank goodness,
Speaker 1: I was wearing shorts.
Speaker 2: Because in your pants didn't even wake you up.
Speaker 1: It was like tiny, tiny bit?
Speaker 2: Was it?
Speaker 1: Tiny bit?
Speaker 2: Are you exaggerated? Was that? No?
Speaker 1: It was a couple of specs.
Speaker 2: You have it there. You have a guy's Matt shot
Speaker 2: his pants on the weekend. Let's leave that story there
Speaker 2: so you find now because I'm sitting pretty close to you,
Speaker 2: that's my question.
Speaker 1: Good, I'm good anyway, that's me. That's the highlight of
Speaker 1: my week? How have you been, britt I.
Speaker 2: Had a little highlight. I actually I don't know if
Speaker 2: it's a highlight. I had a patient at work last
Speaker 2: night and she comes in and I'm doing my stuff
Speaker 2: with her, doing the procedure, and she keeps looking at
Speaker 2: me the whole time, and she goes, God, do you
Speaker 2: know who you look like? And I was like who.
Speaker 2: She's like Brittany from the Bachelor. And I'm like, She's like,
Speaker 2: you probably get that all time, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I do. And she's like, it's literally uncanny. You look
Speaker 2: so much like her. You even sound like her. And
Speaker 2: I was like, that's because I am't Bretty from the Batch.
Speaker 2: Like she started crying.
Speaker 1: She was like, what the hell, hang away? Were you
Speaker 1: wearing a face mask at this point?
Speaker 2: No, she could just see my whole face. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know whether I'm flattered or I'm offended because
Speaker 2: I don't look like what you thought I look like
Speaker 2: or I looked similar like. I don't know how to
Speaker 2: take that. Is that a.
Speaker 1: Compliment on I've had something similar happen to me when
Speaker 1: I was at a cafe and someone came up to
Speaker 1: me and said, I'm not sure if you've heard this before,
Speaker 1: but you look exactly like Maddie J. And I said,
Speaker 1: you know, I played along and I was like, I
Speaker 1: get it all the time, all the time. It's funny,
Speaker 1: like once a week at least. And then she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you could be like his twin. And then I said, look,
Speaker 1: secret out, I am Maddie J. And she was like, no,
Speaker 1: you're not. And I was like, I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I am Maddie J. And I didn't have my wallet
Speaker 1: on me because I was paying on my phone, but
Speaker 1: Buster was there and I'm like, look, it's a three
Speaker 1: legged dogs like it's literally me. I am Maddie J.
Speaker 1: And she didn't believe. She was like, nice, try and
Speaker 1: then she walked off.
Speaker 2: You know who else like it all the time. Who
Speaker 2: if it's not like you look like Brittany Honkley, it's
Speaker 2: like you look like Angelina Jolly.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: In less exciting news. In less exciting news, I finished
Speaker 2: work at midnight last night. You know those days, it
Speaker 2: was the forty degree day, it was a heat wave.
Speaker 2: Then I go to work for my ten hours. It's midnight,
Speaker 2: I'm tired. I walk out to the car park my
Speaker 2: car's dead. It's like you literally can't get a worse
Speaker 2: top off of a day.
Speaker 1: You're thinking to yourself, I'm a good person. I don't
Speaker 1: deserve this.
Speaker 2: Why are doing it dirty? Anyway? It's gonna be a
Speaker 2: couple of grand and I don't have a car, So
Speaker 2: let's just not talk about that one.
Speaker 1: Hey, at least you didn't shit yourself.
Speaker 2: And I always have that. All right, man, I think
Speaker 2: that's enough talk about that. Let's get into some questions.
Speaker 2: You guys know, this is our favorite little segment. You
Speaker 2: get to ride in your deepest, darkest, dirtiest, sexiest. There's
Speaker 2: most questionable questions and we do our best to answer them. So, Matt,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw you under the bus for this one.
Speaker 2: I see you lurking in the Facebook group, so I
Speaker 2: want you to give me a question first.
Speaker 1: All right, I've got one. I've got one. I saw
Speaker 1: this a few days ago on the life on Cut
Speaker 1: Facebook group and I very nearly wrote a response so close.
Speaker 2: So I didn't see I'm still Do you feel like
Speaker 2: you're meddling too much? If you're throwing yourself in there?
Speaker 1: No, I feel like you know the best way I
Speaker 1: can describe it is that It's like I'm a parent
Speaker 1: and everyone right now in the Facebook group for Life
Speaker 1: on Cut is having a little party, and I don't
Speaker 1: want to be the parent knocking on the door being like.
Speaker 2: Hand you wrap it up?
Speaker 1: Hey, guys? Think is everyone okay?
Speaker 2: Here?
Speaker 1: Everyone having fun? So I'm just letting them do their thing.
Speaker 1: But I am sitting back on the sidelines. But this
Speaker 1: one caught my eye. I'm just gonna paraphrase it, but
Speaker 1: essentially somebody had gone on a first date and on
Speaker 1: this first date, they brought up the topic of past relationships.
Speaker 1: But the guy she was on the date with and
Speaker 1: that kind of startled him back and say, I don't
Speaker 1: think this is a topic that we should really touch
Speaker 1: upon for the very first date. She was surprised by
Speaker 1: that because she was saying, well, what does it matter?
Speaker 1: You know, my past relationships have shaped who I am,
Speaker 1: and I also want to find out more about this
Speaker 1: guy and how he's got to where he is right now.
Speaker 1: So she's saying, why can't we speak about past relationships
Speaker 1: on the first date. Do you think it's acceptable or
Speaker 1: should that wait until down the track?
Speaker 2: This one I have mixed feelings about. I'm bored aline
Speaker 2: and I don't like to say this often, but I'm
Speaker 2: a little bit of a fence sinner on this one.
Speaker 2: I have opinions that are strong for both parties. I
Speaker 2: don't think you necessarily should go out of your way
Speaker 2: to bring it up on a first date. It's not
Speaker 2: a checklist for me. I don't want to know about
Speaker 2: I want to know everything about him, but not on
Speaker 2: the first date. I don't think you need to know
Speaker 2: about how he broke up with his ex, why they
Speaker 2: broke up, or they went through, how long they were together.
Speaker 2: I think maybe that's like a second, third, fourth date
Speaker 2: when you want to know more about them now. Of course,
Speaker 2: that shape who he is and my relationships and your relationships.
Speaker 2: Everyone's relationship is going to shape who they are. But
Speaker 2: I think a first date should be a little bit
Speaker 2: more fun, surface level, light hard to get to know
Speaker 2: each other on a bit more of it. I don't
Speaker 2: want to say superficial level, but just have fun with
Speaker 2: it and getting to the deep, dark, nitty gritty later. Also,
Speaker 2: you don't know how traumatic someone's past could be, like
Speaker 2: if someone straight up went to me because people ask
Speaker 2: me that they asked me about my ex I'm not
Speaker 2: going to say he was marrying someone else and had
Speaker 2: a double life for three years and was you know,
Speaker 2: sad secret photos of me and filming me. And I'm
Speaker 2: never going to tell someone that on a first date.
Speaker 1: No, you can laugh now, I forget how traumatic it is.
Speaker 1: So I just imagining if a guy had stumbled onto
Speaker 1: the subject of like, hey, Britt, when was your last relationship,
Speaker 1: and then you went to that that much detail, like
Speaker 1: that's that's a moodkill, isn't it?
Speaker 2: Isn't it?
Speaker 1: Josh?
Speaker 2: So I feel like I don't think he should have
Speaker 2: a problem with it. But I also think if he
Speaker 2: doesn't want to speak about it, he's entitled to say, oh,
Speaker 2: let's get into that another time. I think it's a
Speaker 2: it's okay for him and brush it off.
Speaker 1: I really like his honesty. If I was in the
Speaker 1: first date and Laura was talking about her ex boyfriend
Speaker 1: asking about my past relationships, I guess I would see
Speaker 1: it as though she was still hung up on that person.
Speaker 1: And I guess I would see it is that she
Speaker 1: wasn't ready to start dating other people. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: see it as a big negative.
Speaker 2: I think it's definitely not something that I ask about
Speaker 2: Like I don't go into a first date. I have
Speaker 2: things in my head that I want to know and
Speaker 2: that I want to find out, but most of that
Speaker 2: is surface level, i e. Chemistry level. You want to
Speaker 2: see if the band is there, you want to see,
Speaker 2: if you're interested in the same things, you want to see,
Speaker 2: if you both want the same things. I think the
Speaker 2: trauma or the breakups of the lessons someone has learned
Speaker 2: in the past and what they've gone through is not
Speaker 2: relevant on a first date.
Speaker 1: I'm going to generalize here and I would say the
Speaker 1: vast majority of breakups haven't ended that well. There are
Speaker 1: definitely some out there that you know, I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: really amicable between the two people, but to bring up
Speaker 1: a really negative subject, I think it's only going to
Speaker 1: really kill the mood.
Speaker 2: Well, so I went on, I was dating this as well,
Speaker 2: no stating this French guy. The first date, he asked
Speaker 2: me about my exes.
Speaker 1: But how did he bring up the subject?
Speaker 2: Did it?
Speaker 1: Was? He like, hey, that's a nice watch. Where was
Speaker 1: it from? And he's like, well it's from an ex
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: No, He's straight up was like, so like, you know,
Speaker 2: that do you know the how long? Okay, so I
Speaker 2: think this question's okay, how long have you been single?
Speaker 2: When was your last relationship? That's fine? But then I
Speaker 2: don't think you delve into that more so, I think,
Speaker 2: you know, he asked that, and obviously mine's been a
Speaker 2: very long time. And then he's like, well, tell me
Speaker 2: you sort of like about your ex why did you
Speaker 2: break up? And I just stopped him. It wasn't rude.
Speaker 2: I was like, do you know what, Like, I don't
Speaker 2: think we even need to go there. Let's just let's
Speaker 2: just move on. That's for another time. And he was like, yeah, cool,
Speaker 2: no worries. I think if if the conversation's flowing that
Speaker 2: way and they're open to it, and whoever you're on
Speaker 2: the date with is open to it, sure delve into it.
Speaker 2: Go and ask ask what you want if that's where
Speaker 2: the ViBe's going. But I don't think he can sit
Speaker 2: down with that on the agenda. I don't think in
Speaker 2: your mind you can be like, I need to know
Speaker 2: how many relationships had, how many people he slept with,
Speaker 2: why they broke up, when they broke up? Girls, save
Speaker 2: that for another date.
Speaker 1: If it does organically go there, totally fine, but there
Speaker 1: is so much you could talk about. Why would you
Speaker 1: want to talk about the ex?
Speaker 2: Do you want to know something else? But I'm bringing
Speaker 2: a whole other aspect in hit me, what do you
Speaker 2: got what? I don't know if it's the same for
Speaker 2: you for men. Actually, this is really interesting what I
Speaker 2: have found in the past. So when I date someone now,
Speaker 2: the old Brittany used to go and scroll back look
Speaker 2: at who their exes were, what they looked like, what
Speaker 2: they did together, and it just never ended well because
Speaker 2: they were always beautiful.
Speaker 1: They were always like, Hey, why would you do that?
Speaker 1: For what reason?
Speaker 2: For no other reason? Then I was that I was like,
Speaker 2: this girl was that interested in what his life was?
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, who was? If I knew that
Speaker 2: the person I was dating had been in a relationship
Speaker 2: with some for three years, I want to know what
Speaker 2: that girl was like that kept him captivated for three years.
Speaker 2: So I used to go back, I'm talking years ago,
Speaker 2: and I look at their photos, and it never ever
Speaker 2: ended well because all of a sudden you start to
Speaker 2: compare yourself to them totally, and I just think I
Speaker 2: stopped doing it one day. You know what, I was
Speaker 2: dating this guy he was amazing, He's in London, amazing,
Speaker 2: seems super normal. We didn't like delve into each other's
Speaker 2: past at all until about two months in. I got
Speaker 2: curious and I looked at his ex and she, no joke,
Speaker 2: was like a Victoria supermodel. She was the most beautiful,
Speaker 2: like she was insane, and then I went all like
Speaker 2: weird kookie Brittany, and I didn't know how to handle it,
Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I was like, she was
Speaker 2: in all these designer clothes, you know, everything was like
Speaker 2: Gucci endure, and I had like what I call kama
Speaker 2: but it's km on but like, I'm just I was
Speaker 2: not that kind of person. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: I felt insecure. I didn't feel good enough. I didn't
Speaker 2: feel like I belonged there. I didn't know why he
Speaker 2: liked me, and I ruined the relationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so how good is going to come from that?
Speaker 2: No? So I just decided then I was like, you
Speaker 2: know what, if he's dating me now he's interested in me,
Speaker 2: what he's been with in the past is irrelevant. Do
Speaker 2: you feel like that? Did you delve into people's past?
Speaker 1: Yes? Sometimes I do? Yeah, I mean you still.
Speaker 2: Do do you.
Speaker 1: No, I think we're Laura and I these days, I
Speaker 1: think we're really open about now that we've been together
Speaker 1: for was it three maybe four years? Is it Laura
Speaker 1: coming three and a half, And now I think we
Speaker 1: both will talk about our ex is really openly, so
Speaker 1: it's not a difficult subject. But I think maybe initially
Speaker 1: when she would talk about her ex, I would still
Speaker 1: the thought of Laura being with another guy intimately, initially
Speaker 1: was something that was quite difficult for me to fathom.
Speaker 1: You know, in my little perfect world in my head,
Speaker 1: Laura's only ever loved me and only me, and she
Speaker 1: would never give herself to anybody else. And I know
Speaker 1: that's not true, but it's this little fairy tale that
Speaker 1: I just want to keep going in my head.
Speaker 2: You know, that's a that's actually I was recently reading
Speaker 2: this in a psychology on a psychology lecture. It's a
Speaker 2: real problem where people cannot fathom. People can't fathom their
Speaker 2: partner being with anyone else. But my question is, before Laura,
Speaker 2: I want to know, before Laura, did you look at
Speaker 2: people you were dating's exes?
Speaker 1: Oh? For sure?
Speaker 2: And did it make you feel shit? Yeah? There you go,
Speaker 2: that's the question.
Speaker 1: Don't do it?
Speaker 2: Maybe not all right? I have a question for you now.
Speaker 2: I am going to paraphrase this one because it was
Speaker 2: a long one too. I want to know what I'm
Speaker 2: doing wrong when I go out at night, I go
Speaker 2: into a bar, I'm looking hot, I'm feeling good. I'm
Speaker 2: with my friends. I see guys. They're hot, they're feeling good.
Speaker 2: We're making eyes at each other, and I'm like, yes,
Speaker 2: this is it. They're gonna come talk to me, We're
Speaker 2: gonna hook up, and then nothing. What am I doing?
Speaker 2: How can I get these people to come and approach me?
Speaker 2: Where am I going wrong? Well?
Speaker 1: Hang on, firstly, is this question coming from somebody else?
Speaker 1: So is this coming from you, Brittany?
Speaker 2: Why don't you call me out on the podcast? Man?
Speaker 2: That's not me? Is it?
Speaker 1: Honest?
Speaker 2: It's a real listener. But like I would also like
Speaker 2: to know if you want to tell me that's fine. No,
Speaker 2: this is I think this is actually a really common
Speaker 2: question in this day and age.
Speaker 1: Gosh, I'm trying to cast my mind back to trying
Speaker 1: to flirt in a bar.
Speaker 2: What is like a signal that you're allowed to go
Speaker 2: up and speak to someone or are you intimidated? By
Speaker 2: approaching a woman if they're in.
Speaker 1: A group, totally. If there's a big group of girls,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, really no, I don't care who you are.
Speaker 1: Everyone's worst fear when you're like out trying to pick
Speaker 1: up in a bar, everyone's worst fear is rejection. You know,
Speaker 1: nobody wants that at all. And even worse than being
Speaker 1: rejected is being rejected in front of a crowd. If
Speaker 1: you went up to a group of girls and then
Speaker 1: picked out one of those girls and then said, hey,
Speaker 1: can I do you want to have a chat? Can
Speaker 1: I buy you a drink? And then you got rejected
Speaker 1: with her friends standing in the background.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, is that that bad? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think so. But then there's safety in numbers as well,
Speaker 1: so I can understand what people are hanging out in groups.
Speaker 1: I think something that would really grab my attention would
Speaker 1: be somebody just locking.
Speaker 2: Eyes just for that like extra second, yeah, not like.
Speaker 1: A long, long stare, not like a creepy stare, like
Speaker 1: three seconds yeah. And then you know when you lock
Speaker 1: eyes after a second, then you can give them a smile.
Speaker 1: And you know, when someone gives you a smile, it's
Speaker 1: instinct to smile back. And then I think that's like
Speaker 1: step one of flirting. But then most often, you know,
Speaker 1: I think people would expect that a guy would make
Speaker 1: the first move to approach the girl. But I even think,
Speaker 1: tell me if this sounds weird, but if you were
Speaker 1: in a big group of girls and there was a
Speaker 1: guy that you had locked eyes with, you had smiled
Speaker 1: at each other, would you then separate yourself, like with
Speaker 1: one of your girlfriends so you weren't in like a
Speaker 1: group of six girls, just like to the side, so
Speaker 1: it would be more you would seem more approachable for
Speaker 1: that guy.
Speaker 2: Well, yes, so what I would do because I have
Speaker 2: a lot of male friends and they've all said the
Speaker 2: same thing, So like, this is my advice to this girl. Definitely,
Speaker 2: if you're in a big, tight group of girls, it's
Speaker 2: going to take one really confident, ballsy or really drunk
Speaker 2: dude to feel like he can come and approach you
Speaker 2: and just like at you in front of all your girlfriends.
Speaker 2: What I have done, what I do, what I advise
Speaker 2: people do, is to go, if you see him stand
Speaker 2: in the line for a dream and talking to his friends,
Speaker 2: go and position yourself near him in the line at
Speaker 2: the bar so that it's obvious that he can see you.
Speaker 2: If he wants to make the move, it's then he
Speaker 2: can stand next to you and buy a drink. He
Speaker 2: can come up and chat to you with no one
Speaker 2: else around. You're actually just putting yourself into a position
Speaker 2: where you're both comfortable, no one's going to judge you,
Speaker 2: And if that doesn't work, there's a chance he's not interested.
Speaker 1: The safest place to start having a conversation with somebody
Speaker 1: is when they're in line for a drink, when they're
Speaker 1: at the weakest. That's when you have to pounce.
Speaker 2: But also that's when the guy would have to offer
Speaker 2: to buy you a drink.
Speaker 1: Oh so it's very clever, my friend, what he used
Speaker 1: to do, and I thought it was genius. I thought
Speaker 1: he was very clever for doing this. But he would
Speaker 1: go up to a girl. Sometimes he'd locked eyes with her,
Speaker 1: sometimes he hadn't, and he would just go up to
Speaker 1: her and say, excuse me, are you flirting with me?
Speaker 1: And the girl would be like normally quite confused and goes,
Speaker 1: excuse me. I mean, it's quite obvious to me that
Speaker 1: what you're trying to do right now is flirt with me.
Speaker 1: And I'm very flattered. It would kind of go either way.
Speaker 1: A lot of the time they would laugh and then
Speaker 1: he would then start the conversation. That was his icebreaker
Speaker 1: of just like coming in cold, are you flirting with me?
Speaker 2: I think that is great, and I advise women to
Speaker 2: do that to men too, especially if everyone is out
Speaker 2: with their friends having a drink. People are going to
Speaker 2: be approachable. No one's going to laugh at you. If
Speaker 2: you come up and say something to them, you're going
Speaker 2: to get a vibe. If you go up and start
Speaker 2: a conversation, you're going to get the vibe if they're
Speaker 2: somewhat interested or not.
Speaker 1: But I think if someone smiles back at you, that
Speaker 1: is definitely a good sign. Like if that person doesn't
Speaker 1: want to speak to you, they won't give you a smile.
Speaker 2: I think the thing that we all need to sort
Speaker 2: of get our head around is this fear of rejection
Speaker 2: and failure. I think we've put failure on a pedestal
Speaker 2: a little bit and we think it's a bill and
Speaker 2: end all, But I don't think it has to be.
Speaker 2: The second that I started to not worry about failure
Speaker 2: personally in my life was the second that things started
Speaker 2: to happen for me because you're not scared of anything.
Speaker 2: You're not holding back, which in turn is giving you
Speaker 2: more opportunities in life if you can get the guts
Speaker 2: to go up and speak to that guy, knowing that
Speaker 2: he might say, sorry, I've got a girlfriend. Sorry, like
Speaker 2: I'm just with the boys night. Whatever, what's the worst
Speaker 2: thing that can happen. You're going to turn around and
Speaker 2: walk back to your friends and have a laugh and
Speaker 2: have a drink and have a great night.
Speaker 1: Or he could be the love of your life, or
Speaker 1: failing all that, you can just do it from the
Speaker 1: comfort of your own home, on bumble on your couch
Speaker 1: and your pajamas.
Speaker 2: Absolt bloody lately. All right, I'm going for question number three.
Speaker 2: Long story short, my friends fiance cheated on her with
Speaker 2: her cousin.
Speaker 1: Now we'll wait, Hang on a second, you're already lost.
Speaker 1: Don't you say that one more time?
Speaker 2: So my friend fiance cheated on her with her cousin.
Speaker 2: So it's literally like you cheating on Laura with Laura's cousin.
Speaker 1: She goes a very beautiful cousin, does she.
Speaker 2: Lock him up? Laura? So now the cousin and that
Speaker 2: ex fiance are getting married. Okay, So they've cheated and
Speaker 2: now he's left his partner or the cousin.
Speaker 1: So hypothetical, I have cheated on Laura with her cousin,
Speaker 1: I am now getting married to that cousin.
Speaker 2: And now her family are making her go to the wedding.
Speaker 1: So Laura has now come to the wedding of me
Speaker 1: with a new cousin.
Speaker 2: Now Laura doesn't want to go, but her family is
Speaker 2: saying blood is thicker than water and you should go.
Speaker 2: This friend's saying this is fucked up. I don't think
Speaker 2: she should go, and I told her she should turn
Speaker 2: up in a white dress. What do you guys think.
Speaker 1: This is real? Doctor phil? Like, do you have.
Speaker 2: To go to your ex fiance's wedding who cheated on
Speaker 2: you with your own cousin? Surely not?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you really.
Speaker 2: Do, not rubbish.
Speaker 1: I agree with the family. Blood is thicker than water.
Speaker 1: You gotta suck it up. Find yourself a beautiful dress,
Speaker 1: get your hair did, put some beautiful makeup on, go
Speaker 1: to that wedding, and then find your ex partner's cousin
Speaker 1: and then fuck him.
Speaker 2: A mad We don't teach two wrongs. Make a right here,
Speaker 2: life on cut an.
Speaker 1: Eye for an eye. Absolutely, Look, that.
Speaker 2: Is an option. I'm not going to rule that out,
Speaker 2: but I don't know if you're serious or not. Do
Speaker 2: you think she should actually turn up and go to
Speaker 2: the wedding?
Speaker 1: Whilst I want this to play out like a scene
Speaker 1: of Doctor Phil slash Jerry Springer, I think there would
Speaker 1: be nothing more awkward than going to the wedding of
Speaker 1: your ex partner who is now hooking up with your cousin.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so much wrong with this on so many levels.
Speaker 2: I'm going to straight up say I absolutely would not go.
Speaker 2: Absolutely I don't think you should be going. And this
Speaker 2: blood is thicker than water thing. I I am not
Speaker 2: on part with that, because you can have people in
Speaker 2: your life that are friends, that are not blood related,
Speaker 2: that are more family than your family. If she actually
Speaker 2: is from a family where it's going to cause more
Speaker 2: harm than good, maybe this is a really tightened family
Speaker 2: and they will cast her a side. If she doesn't
Speaker 2: turn up, then I'm going to say, go be the
Speaker 2: bigger person, hold your head up high, don't cause a scene.
Speaker 2: Just just go there, be shadow in the background, do
Speaker 2: your thing and leave. But ultimately it comes down to
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter what the situation is or who's involved.
Speaker 2: If you don't want to do something and it's making
Speaker 2: you that uncomfortable, you don't have to do it. Well.
Speaker 1: You have to listen to your gut, and as hard
Speaker 1: as it must be to go against the wishes of
Speaker 1: your family, if you really feel so strongly that it's
Speaker 1: not the right thing for you to do, you have
Speaker 1: to listen to what your body's telling you.
Speaker 2: I guess sometimes you do just have to put yourself first,
Speaker 2: and your mental health and your happiness and your well
Speaker 2: being is more important sometimes than making somebody else feel
Speaker 2: good for a day. I reckon. That's the wrap on
Speaker 2: that one.
Speaker 1: Hey, did you ever watch Ricky Lake?
Speaker 2: Yes, she was the woman version of like Jerry Spring.
Speaker 1: Wasn't she the best?
Speaker 2: I was pretty Jerry Jerry remember. I just feel like
Speaker 2: they got he got more fights on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, he was was like more low brow.
Speaker 2: He was so low brow.
Speaker 1: HeLa was kind of in between your Oprah and she
Speaker 1: was like a chat show. Oh yeah, that was my
Speaker 1: jam your soft spot. Yeah, feeling very okay. Question four
Speaker 1: the very last question that we have for this episode.
Speaker 1: So here's the situation. I've been detting a guy for
Speaker 1: six months now and things are going really great. We're
Speaker 1: not living together, we haven't told each other that I
Speaker 1: love you yet, but it feels like that is definitely
Speaker 1: the next step for us to take. I was assuming that,
Speaker 1: given Christmas is only a few weeks away, I would
Speaker 1: get the invite to spend it with his family, except
Speaker 1: he hasn't brought it up, and I know that he
Speaker 1: has plans locked in to go into state. Should I
Speaker 1: bring it up and ask him if we want to
Speaker 1: spend Christmas with each other? Is it normal that after
Speaker 1: six months he doesn't want to spend Christmas with me
Speaker 1: and his family? Should I be concerned?
Speaker 2: Okay, so Laura and I actually completely unrelated to this question.
Speaker 2: This is actually funny that this is coming in. Probably
Speaker 2: like two weeks ago, we had this exact conversation just
Speaker 2: so someone else that we knew that were a cup
Speaker 2: we're spending Christmas apart, and we started to chat about it,
Speaker 2: and Laura and I have very opposite opinions on this.
Speaker 2: I don't think you need to spend Christmas together when
Speaker 2: you're just dating, when you just knew, even like even
Speaker 2: a couple of years in. Sometimes, like what if listen
Speaker 2: if I have my reasoning. If you're both close to
Speaker 2: your families and your families are interstate and there's no
Speaker 2: way you can split Christmases, then I think each individual
Speaker 2: is entitled to go and spend it with their family,
Speaker 2: And I don't think it means anything to the couple.
Speaker 2: How don't think it means you love each other less.
Speaker 2: I don't think any of that. Once you have kids
Speaker 2: and you're married a different story. You probably need to
Speaker 2: alternate year to year. When I was in a long
Speaker 2: term relationship and we both of our families were in
Speaker 2: the same city, we split the day, half the day
Speaker 2: with one family, half the day with thegether. Then when
Speaker 2: I was in a relationship where they were in different cities.
Speaker 2: I am so close to my family that even if
Speaker 2: he begged me to spend Christmas with him, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have because we weren't married. My family is just as
Speaker 2: important to me as his family, And I think you
Speaker 2: can spend your Christmases apart and then meet up on
Speaker 2: Boxing Day even the next day. I don't think there's
Speaker 2: anything wrong with that. Now, Laura, you probably think the
Speaker 2: same as Laura, do you know.
Speaker 1: I think spending on Christmas Day on that specific day
Speaker 1: of the calendar can be very tricky logistically. Like you said,
Speaker 1: you know, if people are in different states, it's just
Speaker 1: not going to work out. But in our family, we've
Speaker 1: been very accommodating, where one year we'll have it as
Speaker 1: a Johnson Christmas on Christmas Day, and the following year
Speaker 1: will do it either before or after Christmas, so that
Speaker 1: you know, we can alternate between other families of the partners.
Speaker 1: But I think in that Christmas break, you know, between
Speaker 1: Christmas and New Year, including Boxing Day, I think that's
Speaker 1: the time when you want to spend it with your
Speaker 1: family and the person that you're dating, even if it's
Speaker 1: obviously if it's like a month in, I totally get it.
Speaker 1: But I think any longer than four months, I would
Speaker 1: say that you're in a fully committed relationship and I
Speaker 1: think spending time with your partner and their family is
Speaker 1: exactly what is on the cards for you.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, But does that mean we're.
Speaker 1: Talking about going two years and not spending Christmas with
Speaker 1: that partner and his family.
Speaker 2: I just don't think it's the end of the world
Speaker 2: if one person in this relationship isn't as close or
Speaker 2: their family doesn't mean as much or that day doesn't
Speaker 2: mean as much, then that's fine. But if I'm talking
Speaker 2: if you have two people that love their families, they're
Speaker 2: really close to their families, they got nieces and nephews,
Speaker 2: the whole thing. They always spend Christmas together. Fuck yeah,
Speaker 2: spend it apart. It doesn't mean you to love each
Speaker 2: other any less, but it means that you want to
Speaker 2: go and spend a really special time with your family.
Speaker 2: You're going to speak to your partner, then fly and
Speaker 2: see them the next day.
Speaker 1: I would struggle. I would struggle with that, but.
Speaker 2: I'm so independent, you're a little bit emotionally attached.
Speaker 1: Okay. The one thing that I'm thinking about right now
Speaker 1: is with this question, I wonder why the partner hasn't
Speaker 1: at least brought up the subject of Christmas. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously we're now only a few weeks away. Do you
Speaker 1: think that at some point he would say and explain
Speaker 1: to her, Hey, you know, logistically it's not going to work.
Speaker 1: So this is the plan, and this is when I
Speaker 1: will see you. So I am you know we are
Speaker 1: going to spend time together, it's just not going to
Speaker 1: be on this specific day.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I guess the question is here. Are you
Speaker 2: in a defined relationship or is this casual or is
Speaker 2: this a situationship? Is this possibly more one sided? Like,
Speaker 2: have you guys had the conversation at all to define
Speaker 2: the relationship? Because what if this girl thinks it's more
Speaker 2: than it actually is. That's the only reason I can
Speaker 2: think that he hasn't brought it up at all.
Speaker 1: Maybe he doesn't want the confrontation of letting her down,
Speaker 1: so he's just avoiding this subject because he's like a
Speaker 1: typical male and just doesn't want to have conflict.
Speaker 2: Well, the other thing is some people take longer than
Speaker 2: six months to even want to introduce somebody to their family.
Speaker 2: Like I know for me, that is not the case.
Speaker 2: My family is very open. I could introduce someone after
Speaker 2: a week. It could be months, it could be anything.
Speaker 2: It's like, I don't put parameters. It's not a big deal.
Speaker 2: But for some people, they don't want to let someone
Speaker 2: into their life on a special day like Christmas if
Speaker 2: they're not sure yet that this is going to be
Speaker 2: the person for them. So I think the best thing
Speaker 2: this girl can do is bring the conversation up herself.
Speaker 2: If you are actually in a relationship with this person
Speaker 2: for six months. I think you can say, hey, what
Speaker 2: are plans for Christmas? Like, do you do we want
Speaker 2: to try and see each other or just put the
Speaker 2: feelers out there. I think if you cannot have an
Speaker 2: open conversation after six months with your partner, that there
Speaker 2: are other issues at play. Hang up this podcast and say, babes,
Speaker 2: what are we doing for Christmas?
Speaker 1: Well, don't hang up the podcast just yet. Wait until
Speaker 1: they so finishes, give us a review, and then speak
Speaker 1: to your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but okay, you and I and Laura and I
Speaker 2: are never going to meet on this because we see
Speaker 2: it very differently. You guys think that you have to
Speaker 2: be spending it together for it to be meaningful. I
Speaker 2: think it doesn't have to be so I think it's whatever.
Speaker 2: I don't think you guys should put a lot of
Speaker 2: pressure on it if it's not what you think society's normalis.
Speaker 2: I think whatever's working for you guys as individuals, whatever
Speaker 2: works for you as a couple, Every single person, relationship,
Speaker 2: family is going to do something completely different. You can't
Speaker 2: compare yourself to someone else whatever they're doing. And trust me,
Speaker 2: you are going to look on Instagram on Christmas Day
Speaker 2: and you're probably gonna feel like shit because everyone goes
Speaker 2: and puts all their couple of photos on I get
Speaker 2: every fucking year. But you've just got to like live
Speaker 2: in the moment and live your truth and live your
Speaker 2: best life.
Speaker 1: Ultimately, it's not about spending Christmas together on that specific day.
Speaker 1: It's more so about having the conversation and making sure
Speaker 1: that you are at the forefront of your partner's mind
Speaker 1: and they are thinking about you.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, that was sweet and deep, ma'am.
Speaker 1: Don't hey, don't know, Britt. You can't give a compliment
Speaker 1: like that and then laugh. You can't. We you're meant
Speaker 1: to say something like that, which is very sincere, and
Speaker 1: then be silent.
Speaker 2: Okay, well done, Matt. Guys, that is it for ours,
Speaker 2: gun Cart. I'm sorry that this week we have had
Speaker 2: to have a little mixed around. We've obviously put this
Speaker 2: on the Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Don't you dare apologize on the podcast. That is something
Speaker 1: that we should embrace and not apologize for. And brid
Speaker 1: I don't know if Laura mentioned this, but we do have.
Speaker 1: We do have three weeks left of the Babble before
Speaker 1: we break for the end of the year, and I
Speaker 1: would love to have the two of you on.
Speaker 2: If that's okay, Just remind me what's the bubble again.
Speaker 1: It's the number one pop culture podcast every Monday every Thursday,
Speaker 1: and make sure you listen.
Speaker 2: Well, this is my official invite, Matt. I would love
Speaker 2: to come on as a guest. Thank you. When I
Speaker 2: just you have your people call my people. But guys,
Speaker 2: that is it for this episode. We did have a
Speaker 2: little mix up this week, but you know sometimes we
Speaker 2: do that when life throws us some curve balls. Please
Speaker 2: keep your questions coming in. If you have questions, send
Speaker 2: them into our Instagram Live Uncut podcast, but just make
Speaker 2: sure you put at the top ask uncut so that
Speaker 2: I can differentiate them. If you have any accidentally unfiltered
Speaker 2: the funny stories, write them in because we love them.
Speaker 2: If you have any can't believe they said that literally,
Speaker 2: we want to hear all your stories. Also, don't forget
Speaker 2: to jump on and join our discussion group on the
Speaker 2: Facebook page. So don't just go to the Facebook page
Speaker 2: it's Life Uncut, but go in a little bit deeper
Speaker 2: to the discussion group and that is where all the
Speaker 2: magic happens, and that is where you'll see Maddy Jay lurking.
Speaker 1: Can I just say on that point, Brittany, if there
Speaker 1: is a question, knowing that I won't be on the
Speaker 1: podcast for another few weeks, maybe months, if there is
Speaker 1: a question that you would like me to specifically answer,
Speaker 1: please tag me in that question when you post it
Speaker 1: on Life on Cut in the Facebook group, and I
Speaker 1: will gladly reply.
Speaker 2: That he's been waiting for his invite for like one
Speaker 2: You know, guys, that's it for today. Please tell your
Speaker 2: mom or your dad, tell your friends, tell your dog,
Speaker 2: tell your cousin, tell your cousin'sionce at the wedding, and
Speaker 2: share the love because we love love