Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms Flex and Firms.
Speaker 2: This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 3: Somewhere, sometime in some place, we all got fed that
Speaker 3: narrative that expressing how we feel would feel good. Why
Speaker 3: it's how you feel? Why you just go up to
Speaker 3: them and let them know that you like them, you
Speaker 3: don't like them, they made you uncomfortable. And then years
Speaker 3: go by, you had a bit of confidence and you say,
Speaker 3: I'm going to keep doing this thing where I express
Speaker 3: how I feel. And a few of us come to
Speaker 3: the same conclusion. That doesn't feel good. Why doesn't it
Speaker 3: feel good? Well? Today on Flex and Frooms, we are
Speaker 3: discussing the vulnerability hangover. Let's start with this TikTok from
Speaker 3: here with Megs.
Speaker 2: I'm currently having what Brene Brown calls a vulnerability hangover.
Speaker 2: She defines a vulnerability hangover as the gut wrenching feeling
Speaker 2: of shame and fear that pops up right after we
Speaker 2: undertake an emotional risk. For me, like for most of us,
Speaker 2: vulnerability is an ongoing practice. It's not something that comes easily.
Speaker 2: Even though I'm a therapist and have lots of tools,
Speaker 2: and last night I was in a situation where I
Speaker 2: was very vulnerable. And today I literally woke up feeling hungover.
Speaker 2: I felt the shame and the fear, and I felt
Speaker 2: tired and not good in my body, and like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is not a great place to be. And so
Speaker 2: here's what I did to move through it. First, I
Speaker 2: identified my feelings and gave myself permission to feel them.
Speaker 2: I even cried a little bit, because for me, that's
Speaker 2: a really great way to release stored emotion. Then I
Speaker 2: called a friend who I knew would be supportive in
Speaker 2: sharing my experience with. And then I checked myself talk
Speaker 2: and what I was telling myself about the situation that
Speaker 2: were really just assumptions. I did all this so I
Speaker 2: can practice being vulnerable again, because it's important.
Speaker 3: Why do you look shell shocked? It's taken you somewhere?
Speaker 3: Has it's taken you somewhere? It took you somewhere?
Speaker 1: Combat us?
Speaker 3: Combat to us. This is what I needed to hear
Speaker 3: a thousand years ago, because as someone whose own family
Speaker 3: has described her as being emotionally detached in the past,
Speaker 3: you could imagine expressing emotions the ones that I once
Speaker 3: deemed bad was just not on my to do list.
Speaker 3: And through getting encouragement from friends, and my therapist to
Speaker 3: share I was looking for a positive feeling afterwards, like
Speaker 3: you know, a sense of empowerment, motivation, happiness, joy, and
Speaker 3: it didn't happen. And I feel as though that's the
Speaker 3: key element we're looking for when it comes to doing things.
Speaker 3: We don't want to do it wants, it's just to
Speaker 3: feel good. And so it frustrates me about that as
Speaker 3: well is it's really hard to reconcile this idea that
Speaker 3: doing good things for yourself won't always feel good because
Speaker 3: in my head, I'm like, what's the motivation by Because
Speaker 3: back in my day, when you just powered through and
Speaker 3: didn't feel anything, it was sick because I didn't see anything.
Speaker 3: And now when I have an issue, I'm like, I
Speaker 3: should have an upfront conversation with that person. I should
Speaker 3: let them know how I feel. You do it every time,
Speaker 3: and then I do it, and then it's like good
Speaker 3: because we got it off our chest, but bad because
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, make just feel say.
Speaker 1: You made it real. You make it real.
Speaker 3: And also you now thrush yourself into the beginning of healing.
Speaker 3: I suppose it just been like, no, it's cool, don't
Speaker 3: even worry about that. I'm fine.
Speaker 1: Without it.
Speaker 3: So it's good to know that there's a word to it.
Speaker 3: Bad to know that. It's like vulnerability. Don't mean spike,
Speaker 3: because that would be sick.
Speaker 1: I mean, then there would be nothing to be worried
Speaker 1: about because you would get or you'd be nothing to
Speaker 1: dwell over because you'd be happy to just share everything.
Speaker 1: Some people are better at sharing than others, but I
Speaker 1: think it depends on who you're sharing to. You shared
Speaker 1: one too many people that don't make you feel better.
Speaker 1: We're closing up the hatches. Yeah, so yeah, we've all
Speaker 1: felt that feeling. It's like when you yeah, well.
Speaker 3: Let's cut the cameras. I don't like this is taking
Speaker 3: you personally taking me. I'm fine actually, but watching you
Speaker 3: not be fine is making me I feel uncomfortable. Let's
Speaker 3: wrap it up. Thank you.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 3: For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.