WEBVTT - What Is Vulnerability Hangover? 🥱

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms Flex and Firms.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>Somewhere, sometime in some place, we all got fed that

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<v Speaker 3>narrative that expressing how we feel would feel good. Why

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<v Speaker 3>it's how you feel? Why you just go up to

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<v Speaker 3>them and let them know that you like them, you

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<v Speaker 3>don't like them, they made you uncomfortable. And then years

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<v Speaker 3>go by, you had a bit of confidence and you say,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to keep doing this thing where I express

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<v Speaker 3>how I feel. And a few of us come to

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<v Speaker 3>the same conclusion. That doesn't feel good. Why doesn't it

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<v Speaker 3>feel good? Well? Today on Flex and Frooms, we are

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<v Speaker 3>discussing the vulnerability hangover. Let's start with this TikTok from

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<v Speaker 3>here with Megs.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm currently having what Brene Brown calls a vulnerability hangover.

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<v Speaker 2>She defines a vulnerability hangover as the gut wrenching feeling

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<v Speaker 2>of shame and fear that pops up right after we

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<v Speaker 2>undertake an emotional risk. For me, like for most of us,

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<v Speaker 2>vulnerability is an ongoing practice. It's not something that comes easily.

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<v Speaker 2>Even though I'm a therapist and have lots of tools,

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<v Speaker 2>and last night I was in a situation where I

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<v Speaker 2>was very vulnerable. And today I literally woke up feeling hungover.

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<v Speaker 2>I felt the shame and the fear, and I felt

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<v Speaker 2>tired and not good in my body, and like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>this is not a great place to be. And so

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<v Speaker 2>here's what I did to move through it. First, I

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<v Speaker 2>identified my feelings and gave myself permission to feel them.

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<v Speaker 2>I even cried a little bit, because for me, that's

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<v Speaker 2>a really great way to release stored emotion. Then I

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<v Speaker 2>called a friend who I knew would be supportive in

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<v Speaker 2>sharing my experience with. And then I checked myself talk

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<v Speaker 2>and what I was telling myself about the situation that

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<v Speaker 2>were really just assumptions. I did all this so I

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<v Speaker 2>can practice being vulnerable again, because it's important.

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<v Speaker 3>Why do you look shell shocked? It's taken you somewhere?

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<v Speaker 3>Has it's taken you somewhere? It took you somewhere?

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<v Speaker 1>Combat us?

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<v Speaker 3>Combat to us. This is what I needed to hear

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<v Speaker 3>a thousand years ago, because as someone whose own family

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<v Speaker 3>has described her as being emotionally detached in the past,

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<v Speaker 3>you could imagine expressing emotions the ones that I once

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<v Speaker 3>deemed bad was just not on my to do list.

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<v Speaker 3>And through getting encouragement from friends, and my therapist to

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<v Speaker 3>share I was looking for a positive feeling afterwards, like

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<v Speaker 3>you know, a sense of empowerment, motivation, happiness, joy, and

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<v Speaker 3>it didn't happen. And I feel as though that's the

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<v Speaker 3>key element we're looking for when it comes to doing things.

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<v Speaker 3>We don't want to do it wants, it's just to

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<v Speaker 3>feel good. And so it frustrates me about that as

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<v Speaker 3>well is it's really hard to reconcile this idea that

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<v Speaker 3>doing good things for yourself won't always feel good because

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<v Speaker 3>in my head, I'm like, what's the motivation by Because

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<v Speaker 3>back in my day, when you just powered through and

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<v Speaker 3>didn't feel anything, it was sick because I didn't see anything.

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<v Speaker 3>And now when I have an issue, I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 3>should have an upfront conversation with that person. I should

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<v Speaker 3>let them know how I feel. You do it every time,

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<v Speaker 3>and then I do it, and then it's like good

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<v Speaker 3>because we got it off our chest, but bad because

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, oh, make just feel say.

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<v Speaker 1>You made it real. You make it real.

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<v Speaker 3>And also you now thrush yourself into the beginning of healing.

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<v Speaker 3>I suppose it just been like, no, it's cool, don't

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<v Speaker 3>even worry about that. I'm fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Without it.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's good to know that there's a word to it.

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<v Speaker 3>Bad to know that. It's like vulnerability. Don't mean spike,

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<v Speaker 3>because that would be sick.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, then there would be nothing to be worried

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<v Speaker 1>about because you would get or you'd be nothing to

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<v Speaker 1>dwell over because you'd be happy to just share everything.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people are better at sharing than others, but I

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<v Speaker 1>think it depends on who you're sharing to. You shared

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<v Speaker 1>one too many people that don't make you feel better.

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<v Speaker 1>We're closing up the hatches. Yeah, so yeah, we've all

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<v Speaker 1>felt that feeling. It's like when you yeah, well.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's cut the cameras. I don't like this is taking

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<v Speaker 3>you personally taking me. I'm fine actually, but watching you

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<v Speaker 3>not be fine is making me I feel uncomfortable. Let's

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<v Speaker 3>wrap it up. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.