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Speaker 1: This is the Will and Woody podcast.

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Speaker 2: Darren Hayes joins us right now. It's got a brand

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Speaker 2: new single called all You Pretty Things. This is it

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Speaker 2: queer dance floor anthem, Darren and know it's dedicated to

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Speaker 2: those who lost their lives in the Pulse nightclub tragedy

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Speaker 2: back in twenty sixteen. And it feels like this whole

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Speaker 2: record is pumped full with anthems but also emotion. And

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Speaker 2: it's called Homosexual, so people can get that wherever they

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Speaker 2: get their new records, and you can see Darren Darrenhayes

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Speaker 2: dot com. But the tragedy in this, Darren, is that

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Speaker 2: we're not playing any songs from Homosexual at the moment.

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Speaker 2: So what we're going to do right now and this

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Speaker 2: is a big no no and it could end bad it,

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Speaker 2: but no, no, You're fine.

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Speaker 3: You're in La Ma.

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Speaker 2: You to skip off to a mahido after this, all right?

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Speaker 2: So what look, what we're going to do is this

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Speaker 2: is our boss. We're going to get you to call

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Speaker 2: our boss a b as. I don't know record rap.

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Speaker 4: I can do an impersonation of my record plugger amazing.

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Speaker 5: Who what's their name?

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Speaker 4: Russell?

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Speaker 5: Okay, what's what's the Can I hear the voice?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, good mate, it's Russell.

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Speaker 3: Is quite an old school plugs from the eighties. Alright, great,

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Speaker 3: I'm just scopping so much crap from now and about

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Speaker 3: what we not playing this record?

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Speaker 5: Yes, would be good. I knew it'd be good.

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Speaker 6: All right.

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Speaker 2: So if you could call him as Russell and then

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Speaker 2: when you hear him squirm enough around why they're not

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Speaker 2: playing it, you can reveal that it's actually you.

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Speaker 4: Let's do it.

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Speaker 5: Okay, let's call we're calling now, Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 4: Oh god, hello, hey Russell Thomas.

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Speaker 7: Here mate, howy you doing, Russell Thomas.

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Speaker 6: I'm well thanked Russell Thomas.

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Speaker 8: Mate.

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Speaker 3: I'm just calling you about Darren Hayes record. I just

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Speaker 3: got to get straight to the point, mate. This is

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Speaker 3: a fourth single from this record. He's a an Australian

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Speaker 3: legend and I'm just it's an embarrassment for me, mate,

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Speaker 3: album's out. Not a single song from the record been played.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell the guy. I've got

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Speaker 3: the UK Independence given the record a five star review.

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Speaker 3: It's embarrassing, isn't it. You know he's the voice of us.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know he's not John Farnham. He's obviously

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Speaker 3: the voice. Darren's the other voice. But what do I

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Speaker 3: tell Darren? You know his touring next year? No, we're

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Speaker 3: play on any network. Then we've got the gay situation

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Speaker 3: that's going to come off as homophobic.

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Speaker 5: What what's going on?

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Speaker 7: Hang on?

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Speaker 6: Hang on?

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Speaker 8: Hang on? Russell ahead, did you get my number? Listen?

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Speaker 3: I've been in the business a long time, mate. I'm

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Speaker 3: weasily squeezily. I can get in there right up there

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Speaker 3: finding out why and.

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Speaker 4: How you and who? Okay, you're on that spot right now.

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Speaker 4: You're not playing Darren Hayes. What's going on?

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Speaker 5: I haven't get on the record.

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Speaker 8: Have I heard the th Chance.

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Speaker 2: Songs?

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Speaker 5: Briani Branie? It's will and Woody, It's Will and Woody.

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Speaker 2: This is this is actually Darren Hayes.

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Speaker 4: Hello, Darren.

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Speaker 9: The Willow Woody.

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Speaker 10: Podcast thirteen one oh six y five is our number?

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Speaker 10: What went wrong on the first day of work? Were

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Speaker 10: you like our new King who? Unfortunately he was signing

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Speaker 10: some royal documents on his first day, pretty pumped span

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Speaker 10: new King and whatnot. He signed the wrong date for

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Speaker 10: starters and then his pen started spilling ink and didn't

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Speaker 10: work when he tried to sign it. So he's really

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Speaker 10: ballsed at wilbur on his first date.

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Speaker 5: So were you with the ballpoint?

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Speaker 9: That's outrageously good classy wordplay and I would like to

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Speaker 9: let astray. He didn't write that down. No, they didn't

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Speaker 9: set that up. That wasn't a set.

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Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just shooting from the hippy.

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Speaker 5: The didn't play the audio. It does make me. It

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Speaker 5: does make me.

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Speaker 2: It really does make The bit where Camilla Parker balls

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Speaker 2: goes it's going everywhere, and.

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Speaker 11: He goes, it's going everywhere?

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Speaker 9: What happens every stinking dime? Stop using that?

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Speaker 2: As I said, you're the king, mate, you could have

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Speaker 2: you could have any pin and you're.

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Speaker 5: Like every sting. What's the bit that he does in

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Speaker 5: the middle where he goes budget.

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Speaker 9: I think he said bloody bloody thing. Oh he goes, god,

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Speaker 9: I hate this. You've got the transmit.

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Speaker 10: He goes, oh god, I hope this and then Camilla goes, oh,

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Speaker 10: look it's going everywhere and I was like, yeah, no

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Speaker 10: ship share and then Charles goes, I.

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Speaker 9: Can't bear this, buddy thing.

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Speaker 5: That's what he says. Just getting.

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Speaker 10: Let's go to Christie now thirty one oh sixty five. Christy,

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Speaker 10: you had a shocker on your first hour of work.

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Speaker 6: I did. I'm a support worker and Alie, I work

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Speaker 6: for a totally blind client. And I said to him

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Speaker 6: when I was directing him into the bathroom, do you

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Speaker 6: want me to turn the light on for you?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 9: Wow?

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Speaker 8: Wow?

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Speaker 9: Did he did?

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Speaker 8: He?

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Speaker 5: Christ he did?

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Speaker 4: He laughed.

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Speaker 6: It was very funny, and I'm like, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 6: He goes, it's all right, don't worry.

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Speaker 5: Oh that's nice, Christy. Thanks cool. Love that love bit

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Speaker 5: of human there, cracking cool.

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Speaker 9: Let's go to to lease here to Leise what happened

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Speaker 9: on your first day work?

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Speaker 12: So I was looking at KFT and then I stoot

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Speaker 12: gravy on my hand on the very first day and

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Speaker 12: I hid it for about an hour and it was

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Speaker 12: stinging so bad. And then I go to like the girl.

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Speaker 12: Another worker finds me and she goes, what's he doing?

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Speaker 13: Please?

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Speaker 14: And then I just three weeks off and he just goes,

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Speaker 14: I'm so disappointed in you.

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Speaker 12: And I thought I was going to be screened up.

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Speaker 9: To Leise, you just spilled a bit of gravy, right,

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Speaker 9: It's not that bad on my hand. So you had

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Speaker 9: a bit of gravy on your hand and you.

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Speaker 12: Really hot steaming gravy from the like as soon as

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Speaker 12: you make it was boiling.

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Speaker 10: But it's just like a fiable offense, spilling a bit

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Speaker 10: of gravy in the kitchen, like what sort of bloody

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Speaker 10: like operation of a running back there at KF we love,

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Speaker 10: we love KFC, love their products, and no further questions

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Speaker 10: to let's go to Sammy here.

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Speaker 5: Prosecution rests.

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Speaker 9: Sammy.

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Speaker 10: Sammy, you're a landscaper. You had a shocker on your

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Speaker 10: first day.

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Speaker 7: Hi, boys, On my first day, I was the Comebay work.

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Speaker 7: We do a private school and I was up in

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Speaker 7: a high place. I slipped and I cut myself with

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Speaker 7: the hand head you along my thigh about five centimeters

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Speaker 7: deep and I fell onto the floor, passed out and

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Speaker 7: blood everywhere until one of the teachers found.

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Speaker 5: Me, Oh, Sammy.

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Speaker 7: With and to top it off, in the preschool area

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Speaker 7: as well, which I could kind of petrify some kids.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, what did you did?

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Speaker 13: You say?

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Speaker 5: You good in your leg there? Sam What was it?

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Speaker 6: You did?

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Speaker 7: The hand held hedger that you use that landscapers used,

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Speaker 7: which are quite which were quite sharp. We sharpen every

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Speaker 7: morning and.

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Speaker 5: Sharpen them every morning, did you, Sammy?

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Speaker 9: Did you? Also? Did you cut your shirt?

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Speaker 5: Samuraized their hedges.

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Speaker 9: They take it.

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Speaker 7: So I was wearing pants and I cut and cut

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Speaker 7: straight to the pants. I got one pant leg under

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Speaker 7: my legs, one quite quite upper thigh, so luckily the

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Speaker 7: pants was tight, but nothing else.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, hedged the one and only.

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Speaker 2: Will Anderson joins the boys, Really am klcome back?

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Speaker 8: Can I just say it is so nice that you

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Speaker 8: play back in Black by at DC every time that

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Speaker 8: I come on. That is my intro music when I

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Speaker 8: walk on stage, except if you watch my new special

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Speaker 8: Were Logical, where that will not be my music because

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Speaker 8: do you know how much that would have cost me

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Speaker 8: to buy that from AC?

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Speaker 9: So what are you going for?

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Speaker 8: Will?

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Speaker 9: Just like a royalty free song from YouTube or something.

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Speaker 8: That's what I'm going for. And I actually went out

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Speaker 8: before I came on stage in the other and AM

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Speaker 8: and I came to the audio, I actually played them

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Speaker 8: back in Black by a C as I walked out

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Speaker 8: to tell them I was not going to be playing

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Speaker 8: that that I walked out, but I was like hearing

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Speaker 8: it right now when I walk out. The silence in

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Speaker 8: a minute just imagine hearing what you just shurt out.

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Speaker 8: But I cannot really it's going to be on our

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Speaker 8: national broadcaster. So I am going to turn off my

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Speaker 8: emails because there's going to be a lot of complain

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Speaker 8: really like, well, because here's the thing. My stand up

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Speaker 8: comedy isn't you know, made to be played on the broadcaster.

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Speaker 8: But you know, it's a great honor. I'm really glad

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Speaker 8: they do it, but it also means for the next

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Speaker 8: two months I'm just like, well, you managed to be funny.

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Speaker 8: I'm growing without swearing. I don't know why you can't

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Speaker 8: do it, and you're standing up comedy comedy. This is

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Speaker 8: not comedy. You know what comedy was, Spike Milligan, That's

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Speaker 8: what comedy was.

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Speaker 5: So the swearing is obviously a big part of it.

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Speaker 2: But then are there other one of the areas that

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Speaker 2: you're going to be dancing in in the stand up

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Speaker 2: that you're worried about, like their particular jokes that you're

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Speaker 2: worried about.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, look, I mean it's fair to say that I

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Speaker 8: do tell The whole special is about the fact that

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Speaker 8: I moved to the anti vaxx capital of Australia at

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Speaker 8: the start of a global pandemic and what it was

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Speaker 8: like to be Because here's the thing. I'm a white,

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Speaker 8: middle aged, you know, sis, Australian man. I've never been

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Speaker 8: a minority before, and I did not like it. Did

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Speaker 8: not like it one single bit. I don't know how

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Speaker 8: the rest of you have put up with. It's really,

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Speaker 8: like I said, a lot of the stories about you know,

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Speaker 8: being in a place where your wisdom is not the

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Speaker 8: prevailing wisdom. So it will be interesting to see how

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Speaker 8: that goes down. Hopefully, because they refuse to use five G,

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Speaker 8: they won't be able to stream it.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much for joining. It's always a pleasures.

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Speaker 9: The Will and Woody podcast.

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Speaker 10: I tried to tell you something really interesting on the

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Speaker 10: show a couple of days ago, Will and you, and you.

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Speaker 9: Swatted me away like I was a mere fly. Do

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Speaker 9: you know why kids lie?

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Speaker 10: No, it's a bit of an explanation, but I think

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Speaker 10: you find it interesting during we'll have the time.

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Speaker 9: Honestly, take this tomorrow.

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Speaker 5: You get on the podcast. On the podcast, than that

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Speaker 5: it might be a podcast, it might be a podcast

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Speaker 5: chat and the genius of that.

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Speaker 2: By the end of the show, you'd forgotten that I'd

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Speaker 2: pushed it to the podcast and we didn't do it

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 10: At the beauty of that is that now we're on

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Speaker 10: radio and I get to share this amazing little nuggetive

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Speaker 10: knowledge that I've learned.

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Speaker 9: Right, So it's about why kids lie?

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Speaker 10: And you said, yes, that you have no idea what

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Speaker 10: So apparently kids lie because all kids care?

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Speaker 5: Did you read this.

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Speaker 2: And amongst your mountain of self help? But you're gonna

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Speaker 2: have to reference it if you continue.

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Speaker 5: It's not I'm not going to allow.

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Speaker 2: It's not going to allow just randomedmblings here.

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Speaker 9: It's a grim name of a book. I want to

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Speaker 9: let everyon know. Okay, I'm okay.

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Speaker 10: There's a book I've read called It's Not Always Depression. Wow,

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Speaker 10: fascinating book, Jesus fascinating and absolutely I highly recommend it.

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Speaker 9: The lady's name is Hillary Swang. No, Hillary Swank did

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Speaker 9: not write the book.

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Speaker 15: Oh.

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Speaker 10: I emailed her him emailed her, yeause I wanted to

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Speaker 10: let her know how much I loved her book. Anyway,

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Speaker 10: she says in her book, the reason kids lie is

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Speaker 10: because all they care about is whether they get in

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Speaker 10: trouble or not. Okay, so a kid doesn't really have

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Speaker 10: any idea of what's right. Or what's wrong, and they

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Speaker 10: don't really care about that. All they care about is

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Speaker 10: am I going to get in trouble for this? So,

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Speaker 10: for example, for a kid, if they go and get

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Speaker 10: some ice cream out of the freezer, they don't care

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Speaker 10: that that's the wrong thing to do. All they care

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Speaker 10: about is will I get away with this and.

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Speaker 5: These otherwise I'll get because if I get in trouble

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Speaker 5: for her.

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Speaker 10: And that is why they lie, because they will openly

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Speaker 10: lie to your face because then they don't get in

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Speaker 10: trouble whether what they've done is right or wrong.

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Speaker 9: They just care about not getting in trouble.

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Speaker 10: One of the most important steps that happens when you

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Speaker 10: go from being a child to an adult is learning

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Speaker 10: that it doesn't matter if you do.

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Speaker 9: Get in trouble or not getting in troubles.

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Speaker 10: You should know what's right and what's wrong, and if

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Speaker 10: you don't start doing that as an adult.

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Speaker 9: It can be a big problem for you.

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Speaker 2: Really, well, that's really interesting. So is that like yesterday

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Speaker 2: when we had this pecan pie in here and you

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Speaker 2: came in here eating a peacan and I was like,

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Speaker 2: did you just take that pecan off the top of

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Speaker 2: the pecan pie? That everyone else is looking forward to

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Speaker 2: eating or to bring your own bag of pecans in,

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Speaker 2: and you said I brought my own peacans. I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: do that. And then when I walked outside, the pecan

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Speaker 2: pie looked like an ancient Egyptian artifact where somebody had

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Speaker 2: just badged it for its for its jewelry, and there

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Speaker 2: was just these gaping dips in the top of the pie.

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Speaker 10: You I've had a slight problem and transition into adult line.

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Speaker 9: I am very much still a child. Will that was atrocious?

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Speaker 16: Say?

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Speaker 5: I mean, as I said before, it was like a

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Speaker 5: badged car. What kind of what kind of scum badges

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Speaker 5: a car? And what kind of scum takes a peacan

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Speaker 5: off a pecan pie?

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Speaker 2: And as I said to you, that's like taking fruit

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Speaker 2: from a pavlova.

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Speaker 9: Now, hang on, that's not fair everyone else, that's the

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Speaker 9: best part of the pan. Chance, give me a chance.

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Speaker 9: Answer me.

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Speaker 8: This.

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Speaker 9: Where's that pecan pie? Now?

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Speaker 5: Well, no one on to eat it because you took

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Speaker 5: the peacans off. We had to throw it out.

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Speaker 17: To throw it out drastically devalued it because he.

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Speaker 5: Took the best part of it.

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Speaker 9: This is do fired?

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Speaker 10: Did the pecan pie still have peacans on it.

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Speaker 9: Peacan pie was notless it was.

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Speaker 1: Coming up next were The Will and Woody The Will

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Speaker 1: and Woody podcast What's the Veronicas.

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Speaker 17: The announced their solo careers, teasing new singles which they're

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Speaker 17: going to be releasing on the same day each of them.

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Speaker 9: I'm not buying the cheese.

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Speaker 5: Well, you're not buying the cheese.

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Speaker 9: Not buying the cheese. I think this is a market employee.

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Speaker 5: I think that's that's the incorrect expression.

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Speaker 10: Who gures both releasing a single on the same day.

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Speaker 5: You're not picking up what they're putting down.

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Speaker 10: Well, whatever, Will, I'm using this announcement as cheese and

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Speaker 10: I'm not buying it.

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Speaker 9: I don't care how good is cheese is. They're going

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Speaker 9: to release individual songs. I believe that.

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Speaker 5: Do you think they've each had a hand in each

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Speaker 5: other's song?

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Speaker 9: Yeah, that's what I'm reading it.

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Speaker 5: You smell a rat, you smell it raut amongst the cheese?

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Speaker 9: You know I can smell a rat.

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Speaker 5: Will you smell it rout amongst the cheese?

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Speaker 9: Yes?

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Speaker 5: Trying to continue your cheese.

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Speaker 15: In all O.

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Speaker 9: Nice full circle, thanks man, well done.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, a bit of stinky. I'm not going to cheese.

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Speaker 5: I'm over doing it.

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Speaker 2: But the point is, the point is we feel like

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Speaker 2: it's yeah, yeah, it's it's effectively. But woulds It did

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Speaker 2: inspire me because I think, you know, you know, part

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Speaker 2: of me says, it'd be a really.

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Speaker 5: Hard thing to go solo.

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Speaker 9: Oh bloody for so long?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Absolutely, are you and me? How would we go solo?

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Speaker 5: That's the question?

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Speaker 9: How do you reckon you'd go not to?

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Speaker 5: I don't know answer? What about you?

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Speaker 9: Shocking?

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Speaker 5: Shocking? Yeah, it would be a hard time. That'd be

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Speaker 5: a hard time.

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Speaker 9: Totally ruddless. I'd ruddless.

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Speaker 2: I'd probably do a you know, talk show some sort.

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Speaker 9: What would your topic be, what would like your theme be?

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Speaker 5: Or what's your theme?

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Speaker 2: I just take calls, you know, like an a one

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Speaker 2: of those AM I'd become one of those AM guys.

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Speaker 9: You do love to chat.

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Speaker 5: I just take one. I just take calls politics. Give

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Speaker 5: us a call about you know, Barnaby Joyce. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 5: what's he doing?

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Speaker 9: Just doing Barnaby for three hours?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, they're doing the bar three hours at the barn

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Speaker 5: If the Barnes in the news.

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Speaker 9: It's three hours of Barnaby Joyce.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's just hit the you know grass today, guys,

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Speaker 2: don't they do? They charging this in am for a while.

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Speaker 2: They changed the topics up obviously, although.

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Speaker 10: You should just lean into Barnaby Joyce just caught throwing

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Speaker 10: the barn doors open, and it's just stories about Barnaby

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Speaker 10: Joys throwing the barn doors open. And anyway, what was

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Speaker 10: your show throwing the barn doors open?

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Speaker 9: It's just joy story.

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Speaker 5: He's gonna a song and then on the other side.

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Speaker 5: You can stick with that if you want.

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Speaker 9: That's pretty good.

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Speaker 2: I've been told that we've got Tim the Ham on

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Speaker 2: the ham Sandwich at our disposal as well.

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Speaker 5: You and I are going to do.

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Speaker 2: A minute each of what our solo radio show would

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Speaker 2: look like.

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Speaker 5: Only a minute a minute each.

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Speaker 9: Okay, you can do more than a minute if you're

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Speaker 9: I've got a lot here, got a lot of ideas,

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Speaker 9: and it might be Barnaby joy Stories.

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Speaker 5: Doors open?

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Speaker 2: Would you and I talking about doing our own solo shows?

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Speaker 2: What they were, what would they look like? What they

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Speaker 2: feel is obviously the last resort, but you know, one of.

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Speaker 5: Us might die very true.

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Speaker 9: You come off your bike today.

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Speaker 5: I did.

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Speaker 9: That's always Harry, what's with you? And I don't mean

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Speaker 9: to be that wasn't ball joke. That was not a

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Speaker 9: ball joke.

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Speaker 5: I thought you came for me there mate.

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Speaker 9: No, no, that was not a ball joke.

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Speaker 2: Right anyway, So we've got to come with a solo

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Speaker 2: show right now. Yes, we will have had three minutes

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Speaker 2: to come up with a solo show. We've got an

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Speaker 2: opener for each of our shows. This is what my

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Speaker 2: solo show is called.

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Speaker 9: Something's got shut down.

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Speaker 1: It's pierced you off.

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Speaker 9: It's slumming around that really pisses me off.

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Speaker 5: That really pisss me off.

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Speaker 9: I want to get out.

401
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Speaker 5: Just shut up, mate, I'm doing a solo show. Turn

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Speaker 5: mic sof.

403
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Speaker 2: Okay, so welcome back to this really pisces me off.

404
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,679
Speaker 2: Number of things today. I'll just crack in shallow people

405
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Speaker 2: on those stand up scooters, origin series or prequels, which

406
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 2: will like too much on nostalgia and don't actually write

407
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Speaker 2: a narrative more than one pip and a slice of Mandarin.

408
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,120
Speaker 2: Names of things which exists because they rhyme or illiterate,

409
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 2: boob tubes, dustbusters, mighty mouse, people described as rough and

410
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,959
Speaker 2: ready gravel gets in your shoes, can't see the benefit

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Speaker 2: of it when someone drives around like a billionaire because

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Speaker 2: they paid three thousand dollars a month to drive a BMW.

413
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 5: But they actually live with their mum.

414
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,880
Speaker 2: Kids with kids books with cardboard pages that get stuck

415
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Speaker 2: together easily.

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Speaker 5: The little finger.

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00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,879
Speaker 2: The little finger hold on plastic dummies, which makes a

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00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 2: clicking noise when the child spits out the dummy and

419
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Speaker 2: wakes them up. Put some bloody felt in there, you bastards.

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Speaker 11: Kiss me.

421
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 9: Now, you're you're a pretty angry guy.

422
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 5: You just bottle all that. Uph just take it.

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00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 10: This is a pretty good release for you. Just talking

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00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 10: about what annoy we should do it as like a bit.

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Speaker 5: It Wally pisses me off.

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00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,719
Speaker 9: Yeah, you have so many things that are angy. Let

427
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 9: it go, man. Yeah all right, what's okay?

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00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,360
Speaker 10: So my show, Look, I'm leading into what I'm good

429
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 10: at will. I've got a segment called wood He's Believed

430
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Speaker 10: or Not, And I've so incredibly smallly tweaked that.

431
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 9: Bitch time with your host. It's your host Woody. Hey, guys,

432
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 9: welcome to the show. God, put your feet up, relaxed,

433
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 9: A little bit. Nothing annoys us here in Woodyland. We're

434
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Speaker 9: always happy. Now.

435
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 10: Basically, I read out facts to you guys, you can

436
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 10: enjoy those facts. And some of them are real, and

437
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 10: some of them I'm just making up, and I'm not

438
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 10: going to tell you, So here we go. I'm just

439
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 10: going to reel through them. Harry Styles. Harry Styles has

440
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 10: got four nipples.

441
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 9: What do you believe it? Shakira, I can't ride a bike?

442
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 9: What do you believe it? Is it true? I'm not

443
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 9: going to tell you. Jude Law's real name. We never

444
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 9: find out. Jude Law's real name is Jude Lorn. What

445
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:08,919
Speaker 9: do you believe?

446
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 10: The CIA will once spend twenty five million dollars on spycats?

447
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 9: What do you believe this? In Japan, if.

448
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 10: You are deemed drunk in public, the police roll you

449
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,439
Speaker 10: into a burrito?

450
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 5: What do you believe this?

451
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 10: I'll remind you some of these are real, some I'm

452
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 10: just making up. Ashton Kutcher's real name is Christopher.

453
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 9: What do you believe this? Michael J. Fox's middle name

454
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,479
Speaker 9: doesn't start with jay. What do you believe this? Matthew

455
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 9: McConaughey has a phobia of revolving doors? What do you

456
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 9: believe this?

457
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 10: Lord the singer Lord has an Instagram page called Onion

458
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 10: Rings Worldwide, where she exclusively rates onion rings.

459
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 9: What do you believe this your hands and has a.

460
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 10: Twin brother sco out your hands and has a twin

461
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 10: brother and he has a six pack.

462
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 5: Third and one of six five? Can you tell someone

463
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 5: else's kid to shut up on a plane?

464
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 2: WHOA, yeah, well that's Look, it's a question I've always

465
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 2: I'm interested in. I'm very much interested in now obviously

466
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 2: being a dad for a few months, and given that

467
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: my girlfriend's found me or my partner's families on the

468
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 2: other side of the world, we will be spending a

469
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 2: lot of time on planes with Max.

470
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 5: That is what's going to happen. I haven't done it yet.

471
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 9: When you're doing it soon though, aren't you.

472
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 5: We got we're going to Fiji, which is the road test.

473
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 5: That's the first the first test, a.

474
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 9: Big road test. Man didn't want to do like a

475
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 9: little interstata just a.

476
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 2: Well, it's not a big road test, considering that you know,

477
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 2: ultimately it's going to take twenty four hours to get

478
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 2: to the Netherlands. Oh, good points, So we actually it

479
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 2: is about six hours is a baby's depth whizz.

480
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 9: So you're nervous about it a little bit?

481
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, like we've got.

482
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 2: I mean, I've got a pretty solid leather belt in

483
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 2: a cage that we can of.

484
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 5: Course in cases of emergency.

485
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 10: But people might frown on that though you know what

486
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 10: you do at your you might not be able to do.

487
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 9: On a plane.

488
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 5: That's true.

489
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: Ultimately, I figure I can just dumper up with the

490
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 2: overhead luggage if it comes to that.

491
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 10: At some point we're gonna have to say, you're joking,

492
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 10: because you know Child Services will come for you.

493
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 9: They will make they will come for you.

494
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 4: We had so worried.

495
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 5: He actually is.

496
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 9: Yeah, they're calling child Services. They're going.

497
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 5: Rachelle Humes, who's a British pop star.

498
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 2: She's part of S Club eight, didn't quite make it

499
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 2: to the seven, just on the fringe there. She she

500
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: was rattled because her son got told to shut up

501
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 2: during a flight. The kids twenty they're always right in

502
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 2: months when they mayn't want to make the kids seem younger.

503
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 2: He's twenty two months ud, which means he's absolutely cracking

504
00:23:58,920 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 2: it on the flight.

505
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 10: Anyone, as anyone just in this situation, has there been

506
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 10: a stranger or a random that's had to go at

507
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 10: you at all in public?

508
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 2: Like I've had to go at a kid before you've

509
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 2: had to go at a kid, Yes, I have, when

510
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: your parent.

511
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 5: The context and I give you the context. So what

512
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,439
Speaker 5: happened was the back of my.

513
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 2: Chair was getting kicked by a kid, and I didn't

514
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 2: say anything for the longest time, and then I turned

515
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,120
Speaker 2: around and that I didn't say it to the kid,

516
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: and then I looked at the kid and the kid

517
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: was doing it. The kid was doing it to get

518
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,479
Speaker 2: attention from his mum, and his mom just had her

519
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 2: headphones on and was just like watching a movie or

520
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: something and he'd done it.

521
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 5: For close on seven or eight hours at this stage.

522
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 9: Wow, and she just was amazing.

523
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 5: She wasn't giving it any attention.

524
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 2: And so I just kind of got to the point

525
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 2: where I was like, hey, would you mind just either saying, well,

526
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 2: not telling your child to piss off, but would you

527
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: mind giving your kids some attention because the back of

528
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 2: my chair is.

529
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 9: Like, I don't know how longer I can take this

530
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 9: for well, that's reasonable.

531
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 5: I wasn't, you know, the kid to shut up or

532
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 5: put the ball down. I went through the parent.

533
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: And I didn't want to tell them what to do,

534
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 2: but I was just like, hey, no, it's a long flight.

535
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 5: And everything, but can we figure a solution out?

536
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 2: So I would love some advice from parents here because

537
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 2: quite honestly, I haven't taken a baby on a plane yet,

538
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: and I think it's a I think it's a really

539
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 2: easy position in to be not in the parents' shoes

540
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 2: looking at kids.

541
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 5: Going yo, sort your kid out? Third one o six ' five.

542
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 2: Are you a parent that has to take babies on

543
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 2: planes a lot? Do you take your baby on a

544
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 2: plane a lot?

545
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 9: How do you like?

546
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 5: How do we sort this? Because I, yeah, I am

547
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 5: very worried.

548
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 9: How would you respond to someone having to go at

549
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 9: your kid?

550
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 5: Not? Well?

551
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 8: Yeah?

552
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 5: Not well.

553
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 2: The other day I was walking around and I had Max.

554
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 2: I was trying to get it asleep. She was strapped

555
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 2: to me, and I had my puffer jacket zipped up

556
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 2: on the outside to lock the light from getting in.

557
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 2: And this woman was like, can the baby even breathe

558
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 2: in there?

559
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 13: Oh?

560
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 5: Wow?

561
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 2: I promptly told her to go on too a long

562
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 2: walk of a short peer wow in more course language.

563
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 9: Whoa, I was tired? Yeah, no, fair enough? All right?

564
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 2: Advice from Ruth, trust me, right, you just you don't

565
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,679
Speaker 2: do that, Na, you just don't do it.

566
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 5: Six five. How do you get through flights with babies?

567
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,439
Speaker 5: One oh six five? What advice have you got for me?

568
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 5: If you take your kid on a plane a lot,

569
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 5: come fly with me. My fiance is Dutch.

570
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: We're gonna have to take little Max across there a

571
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 2: lot of the time.

572
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 5: I'm really, actually.

573
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 2: Really looking forward to re engaging her with that side

574
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 2: of her.

575
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 5: Culture, her life, who she is.

576
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, like we're gonna have to be taking

577
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 2: here on a plane a lot, and it's going to

578
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 2: start soon. And there's a story today of this woman

579
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 2: who was in s club ten or something eight eight.

580
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 5: So you get lost in the reads there, don't you.

581
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 2: Rachelle Humes, who had a kid who had another parent,

582
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 2: told her son twenty two months old to shut up

583
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 2: during a flight.

584
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 5: I don't want to be in that situation.

585
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,280
Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want Max annoying people to

586
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 2: the point where they're telling you to shut up. But

587
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 2: I understand that we're in an enclosed space where people

588
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 2: traditionally get very anxious, and a screaming child is going

589
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 2: to produce those sorts of reactions.

590
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 5: So I kind of just want to know. I was

591
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 5: want some advice.

592
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 2: How do you deal with this? What's the way through it?

593
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 2: I know there are lots of other parents out there.

594
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: We've got a well of beautiful parents that listen to

595
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 2: us who have called in. Now, before we get to

596
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 2: these calls, very quickly, up for anergan. We're going to

597
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 2: put that down. Your kid can only have it when

598
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: they're two years and over, has to be prescribed by

599
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: a doctor, and apparently like one in five kids turns

600
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 2: them the other way. So if you are going to

601
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: give it to them, you have to do a test

602
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: run first. What don't I recommend leading them with a

603
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 2: babysitter or something for the test run. Imagine if when

604
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,959
Speaker 2: you left the house, right, we've given them a good

605
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 2: shot at vinergan, four out of five times she passes out.

606
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 5: Waching five times. She's going to be hanging from the rafters.

607
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 5: We're back at ten thirty. You have anything you like

608
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 5: from the fridge?

609
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:53,479
Speaker 15: All right?

610
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 5: Jemima's killed on five high. Jemimah, Hi, how are you good?

611
00:27:58,359 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 3: Mate?

612
00:27:58,560 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 5: What are your thoughts?

613
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 18: So look, my advice would be don't give your child

614
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 18: a whistle.

615
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 11: So I was.

616
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 18: Recently on a flight back from Queensland and there was

617
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 18: a boy in front of me, probably would have been

618
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 18: three or four, and he had one of those plastic

619
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 18: whistles around his neck and he blew it the entire flight.

620
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 2: Actually, he would have been handy if the plane crash

621
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: in the old life vest, Yeah, straight on it. I

622
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 2: always thought those things were useless, but nice way to

623
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: occupy the child.

624
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 18: When he kept standing up and like facing me and

625
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 18: blowing it in my face, and after about an hour,

626
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 18: I was like, can you please just shut up? I think,

627
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,719
Speaker 18: and he turned to his mum and he was like, Mummy,

628
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 18: that rude lady told me to shut up, and then

629
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 18: turned around and how to go at me?

630
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 5: He baited a genius child, Lisa.

631
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 9: Have you got a for parents traveling with kids?

632
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 19: I used to live in the States for over five years,

633
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 19: and every time I came to visit on my way home,

634
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 19: I would do a little thank you and thank you

635
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 19: for your paid and little chocolate bars or strange chocolate

636
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 19: bars for the roads behind me, and aside to me

637
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 19: to say thank you for your patients. It's my first

638
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 19: time flying with.

639
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 11: My little.

640
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 19: Hurry in advance. And yeah, idea that when I flew.

641
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 9: That's at idea, that's really smart.

642
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 5: Did you hand them out at the start.

643
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 9: Lisa.

644
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 19: Yeah, so as soon as I one fane, I told

645
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 19: the air hostess that what I was doing, and then

646
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 19: I was like, all fine with that. And if you

647
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 19: get on the side of their hostess, they will actually

648
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 19: take your baby away for you so you can have

649
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 19: a sleep.

650
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 9: Wow.

651
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 19: That happened to me a couple of times when I

652
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 19: flew on my own.

653
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 5: What did you have to give you? A slipper, a

654
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 5: quick fifty or something, and I know.

655
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 19: Just a chocolate bar and a strange Obviously living in

656
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 19: the straight in the States, they've never great advice.

657
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 10: Get on the front foot, proactive, bribe effectively effectively.

658
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 5: That that's a really lovely idea. And she went through

659
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 5: the cabin handing out trucking bars as well to the

660
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 5: other people.

661
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 10: Yeah, that's smart, that is smart idea. Let's go to

662
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 10: Angela here, Angela, what are your thoughts? A couple of

663
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 10: chips on kids.

664
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 9: On a plane.

665
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 14: We were flying to Singapore, and I swear to God,

666
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 14: from the moment we started, he screamed his little lungs

667
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 14: out all the thing. I think his ears are all

668
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 14: over the shop. I think I walked from about Adelaide

669
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 14: to Singapore on that flight, I did lap laugh on

670
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 14: the and I tried to disperse it so there wasn't

671
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 14: all the noise concentrated at the same time. And I

672
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 14: remember I'm about my seventeenth lap holding the baby. Someone

673
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 14: muttered something under her breath, and at that stage I

674
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 14: was beside myself, not knowing what to do, and I

675
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 14: turned around. I said, sorry, have you got something you know?

676
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 14: Have you got something to help me? And she said no,

677
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 14: just move on because obviously what you're doing isn't working.

678
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 14: And I had to steel myself and I just said,

679
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 14: what would you do? And she said that's why I

680
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 14: don't have children. And I just and I don't know

681
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 14: what came over me, because I never do this. I'm

682
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 14: so non confrontational. I just said, well, thank God for humanity.

683
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 14: The whole plane erupted and I started clapping and cheering me.

684
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 5: What a story. Something to remember.

685
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: Will Woody back some more in just a bit the

686
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: Will and Woody Podcast six five.

687
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 5: What did you accidentally lick?

688
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: And the reason we're doing that is because your partner, Mim,

689
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 2: revealed to me the other day.

690
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 5: It was funny.

691
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: You were you were exiting the room, you were on

692
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 2: the way out of the room and Minni, who just

693
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 2: has an eye for a stitch up, particularly if it

694
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 2: involves throwing you under a bus, which I actually love

695
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: about you. You were you were a metor from the door,

696
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 2: and she just got a little bit too excited as

697
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 2: you were just within earshot. But she leaned into the

698
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: microphone and she told me this.

699
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 10: I will tell you that he's been like looking up

700
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 10: like if she like vomits after I've just breastfed, he

701
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 10: like licks like the vomit.

702
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 9: You joking the other day, but then the the day he.

703
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 14: Did it and it was just vomit, and then started to.

704
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 9: Please they will.

705
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 5: Use that all right, so can we before we get

706
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 5: to these calls?

707
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, why do you lick up your baby's regurgit tainted vomit?

708
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 9: So as you would know because you have a baby.

709
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 10: You're holding your beautiful child with two hands, and some

710
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 10: of you you don't know when a month's gonna come,

711
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 10: when a spew is gonna come, they'll just be look

712
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 10: happy and then boom, a spew like a spear comes

713
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 10: out of the mouth. So naturally, because my hands are occupied.

714
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 10: I always try to maintain the integrity of her outfit

715
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 10: because changing their outfit is bloody annoint.

716
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 9: So the quickest way.

717
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 10: To get that milk spew is to just quickly get

718
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 10: your tongue out and lick her face or lick it

719
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 10: up really quickly. Now, before you say that's disgusting, most

720
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 10: of the time, it's just straight milk out, like it's

721
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 10: just breast milk straight out because she takes it, takes

722
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 10: too much breast milk, and it's just like sipping up

723
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 10: breast milk. And as I've said a number of times

724
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 10: on this show, I absolutely love the sweet almond milk

725
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 10: taste of breast milk.

726
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 9: So happy days. And it just so happened.

727
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 10: There was no way of knowing that this particular on

728
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 10: this particular day, it ended up being a spew. And

729
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 10: let me tell you something, baby's view tastes just like

730
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 10: adult spew.

731
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 20: So it was literally like I was licking it was

732
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 20: licking up vomit and then I started dry reaching in

733
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 20: front of my It was all It was a bit

734
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 20: of a nightmare, really, but point remained, it was accidental,

735
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 20: and that's why we do the fun to me.

736
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 9: So we got Stella here, Stella, what did your.

737
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 2: On so many levels, just get a cloth put a

738
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 2: bib on her.

739
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 5: I don't even know where to begin with this.

740
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 9: I've got to be quick. You have to be quick.

741
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 5: Just put a cloth around her neck. Everyone else does that.

742
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 9: I'll get a cloth.

743
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 2: Stella thirty one and sixty five. What you what'd your

744
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 2: dad leak?

745
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 16: Hey?

746
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 6: Guys, okay, mate.

747
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 5: What'd your dad there?

748
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 13: Basically, my brother was a baby, my mom was changing

749
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 13: his nappy, and my dad was sitting on the couch

750
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 13: eating foo peanuts. And then my dad what's on the

751
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 13: floor When he went to go back to the kitchen,

752
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 13: saw the peanut on the floor. Peanut in inverted commerce

753
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 13: it And it turns out it was actually my brother's.

754
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 2: Oh oh, this would be good, but I didn't know

755
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 2: it would be that good. If if that's our injury,

756
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 2: that's our entry. Call my god, Lisa, what did you

757
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 2: accidentally lick?

758
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 5: Oh?

759
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 15: Yes, well I pieced the lid of the super glue

760
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 15: and it was on my A big lot of it

761
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 15: was on my finger, and I naturally just licked it

762
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 15: and my tongue and my roof of my mouth and

763
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 15: my lips.

764
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,359
Speaker 5: Oh, my brilliant How did it get undone anymore? How

765
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 5: did it? How did it come undone.

766
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 15: Just after a while it goes all hard and you

767
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 15: can slowly install it apart.

768
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,919
Speaker 5: How long was your tongue? How long was your tongue?

769
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 15: Up there for probably well a couple of minutes, and

770
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 15: slowly started to break away.

771
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 2: The super down there.

772
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 5: On Monday light. Kim, Kim, what do you accidentally lick?

773
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 16: Hey eyes? I'm a bit of a cereal liquor. Unfortunately

774
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 16: in the workplace.

775
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 4: Oh wow, run the first run, I was.

776
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 16: On a phone call eating yogat, accidentally dropped someone on

777
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 16: the desk and went to lick it up as the

778
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 16: CEO walked past, and just stood there and absolute disbelief.

779
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 5: Off your desk in front of your CEO.

780
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, embarrassing, that's fair play.

781
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 2: That's a wild thing to be doing.

782
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 16: One was the second one was worse. I was walking

783
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,400
Speaker 16: through the office eating chocolate moose. Got back to my

784
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,919
Speaker 16: desk because like oh, ripped off, there wasn't much left

785
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 16: in it. And then someone yelled out screaming someone's pood

786
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 16: on the carpet, and everyone ran out, and just in

787
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 16: front of.

788
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 14: The toilets, what was appeared to be.

789
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 16: A lump of poo sitting in front of the toilet

790
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 16: everyone screaming in dismay, and I've suddenly thought, oh, that's

791
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 16: the rest of my moose. So I ran up to it.

792
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 16: I put out of my hands and knee and gave

793
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 16: it a good.

794
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 13: I was looking in front of everyone.

795
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 16: Oh oh yeah, fifteen years later, it's still the best

796
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 16: story from our workplace.

797
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 5: What so everyone, So hang on a set, Kim. You're

798
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 5: standing there. You know that that's people. There's fifteen people.

799
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:18,240
Speaker 2: Every single one of them thinks that it's human pooh.

800
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 5: You're the only one that knows that it's moose. And

801
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 5: you have two options there.

802
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 2: You either walk away and just let them assume it

803
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: the cleaner comes and picks it up, or you dive

804
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 2: in there and make them all think that you eat

805
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 2: human feces.

806
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 8: Yeah.

807
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 16: I got down on my hands and knees and made

808
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 16: it really worthwhile.

809
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 11: That's a hard game.

810
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 9: I want to do that in their office, it's it's

811
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 9: Will and Woody.

812
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 2: Right now, thirty one or six five? Do you give

813
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 2: yourself a more impressive job title?

814
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,919
Speaker 9: Asking the question? Because I mean, everyone's having a good laugh.

815
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 10: Ats I mean Struth or Mighty just when you thought

816
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 10: the jokes would run out, Because he's not the PMN

817
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 10: for anymore. We find out that he gave himself a

818
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 10: whole bunch of jobs and didn't really tell anyone about it. Now,

819
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 10: let's got to Mitchell on thirteen one oh six five. Mitchell,

820
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 10: you've been like Skumo. You've given yourself a more impressive

821
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 10: job title. So let's start off with the impressive job

822
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 10: title and then tell us what your job actually was.

823
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 12: Yeah, good afternoon boys.

824
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 7: I was an underwater theremic technician.

825
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 5: Underderwater ceramic technician.

826
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,919
Speaker 9: And then what did you actually do?

827
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 7: I was a dishwasher in a restaurant.

828
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 9: Not bad under bad.

829
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 5: Match technisic, not bad, amazing Mitch.

830
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 9: That's very good, all right, Pam. Let's start off with

831
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 9: the job title you gave yourself.

832
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 14: I am I'm an illumination advisor.

833
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 9: Illumination advisor. Hang on, you didn't have a job where

834
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 9: it has turned the lights on it off, did you, pan?

835
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 7: I actually work at Seacon Lighting.

836
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 2: Dam No, that's a tough that's I'd almost say you

837
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 2: are an illumination advisor.

838
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 9: You're not really lying, no, because that's it.

839
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 8: Really.

840
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: I don't want to go into it too much, but

841
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 2: everyone's been to a light shop. It's bloody tough going

842
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 2: in there. There's a lot going on.

843
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 9: I've never been so they just sell lights.

844
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 5: Yes, it's very overwhelming. You get in there. It's it's tough.

845
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,720
Speaker 10: Can you ask me that you know when you're drive

846
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 10: past like a beacon light and I don't mean to

847
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 10: be having a crack at beacon eggs all lighting stores do.

848
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 5: I've got the fans going and the lights in.

849
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 10: The middle of the night, you know, when you're walking home,

850
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 10: bit bit drunk responsibly of course, and the lights are

851
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 10: all just bloody on yeah, do they pam, do you

852
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 10: just leave the lights on twenty four to seven?

853
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 7: No?

854
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 14: No, And we don't have all the lights on.

855
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 8: Hell rotes, we have probably fifty percent of the moron.

856
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 15: Right.

857
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 14: What we do is nighttime here we turn everything off,

858
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 14: of course.

859
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 19: Right.

860
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 10: Okay, look at you coming to the defensive beacon lighting.

861
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 10: Let's go now, Nicole, let's cuick off with the impressive

862
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 10: job title and then tell us what you actually did.

863
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 8: Okay, so here it is.

864
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 16: I'm an equine health assistant.

865
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 10: Equine health assistant, yep. And what do you actually do?

866
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 16: I'm a stable hand.

867
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 8: I just shovel horse cut for a livery.

868
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 10: They were bloody good, but I think it'd be remissive

869
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 10: us not to play. A phone call we received on

870
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 10: this show recently from a bloke who gave himself a

871
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,879
Speaker 10: rather extraordinary title for really a nothing job.

872
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 14: So it's a plumbing commissioner engineer and basically what I

873
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 14: do is, once the plumber, the real plumber's finished doing

874
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,720
Speaker 14: the work, i'd basically just walk out through to an iPad.

875
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 12: And look at it.

876
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 14: Yep, she's right. The engineer picks this one off