Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land.
Speaker 2: Sea and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respect to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Speaker 1: islander peoples today.
Speaker 2: This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, Anna, welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: My name's my name's Laura, and Matt is sitting across
Speaker 2: from me imitating me making faces and this is just
Speaker 2: going to be a shit show.
Speaker 3: I have said this before. I like to be referred
Speaker 3: to as Matty J.
Speaker 2: Matty J.
Speaker 3: Matt.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I feel like we're close enough that I can
Speaker 2: use your abbreviated name by now absolutely not Maddy Jay
Speaker 2: is joining us on the podcast, and here we have
Speaker 2: a man, a man, a completely unqualified man, but still
Speaker 2: a man to answer all of your questions from a
Speaker 2: male's perspective.
Speaker 3: What an intro here, I am. Thank you so much, Laura,
Speaker 3: it's very kind of you.
Speaker 2: You are wait I'll start again. The love of my
Speaker 2: life yep, the better half, my better half, specifically, the
Speaker 2: smelliest man in this house. There we go, Maddie J.
Speaker 3: You're not wrong. It's great to be here, Laura, thank
Speaker 3: you so much for having me. I love answering these questions.
Speaker 3: This is my favorite episode to fill in on life
Speaker 3: on cut.
Speaker 2: Did you get any specifically, because I know that you
Speaker 2: did a bit of a caller on your social media
Speaker 2: as well, were there any that really stood out?
Speaker 3: To be honest? I would say ninety percent of the
Speaker 3: questions that were submitted on Instagram were all about people
Speaker 3: wanting to know about the foot mold that we did,
Speaker 3: Like did we get foot cramps when we did the
Speaker 3: foot mold? What would we have done if the kids
Speaker 3: had worken up like whilst we're mid because we had
Speaker 3: to stay in that little five minutes old for five minutes.
Speaker 2: It was Yeah, it was a risky It was a
Speaker 2: risky thing. If you don't know what we're talking about,
Speaker 2: you can jump onto Instagram. We created the possibly the
Speaker 2: weirdest piece of content that's ever existed.
Speaker 3: Do you know who actually reached out was because I
Speaker 3: bought this off Amazon. It was about sixty bucks. It's
Speaker 3: a hand mold that you know, you make a cast
Speaker 3: of your hands holding together.
Speaker 2: Like a beautiful keepsake a cast of your hands, Except
Speaker 2: Matt has been wanting to do this for weeks, Like
Speaker 2: he bought this mold casting kit of Amazon weeks and
Speaker 2: weeks ago and he.
Speaker 3: Schooling, You're like, oh no, I'm tired, I'm busy tonight.
Speaker 2: He made me link TOES with him, which anyone who
Speaker 2: kind of has a foot a version is going to
Speaker 2: hate this part that we linked Toes and we made
Speaker 2: a foot mold together and now it is sitting on
Speaker 2: our mantlepiece for all of our guests to be repulsive.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful. The company who actually make it's an Australian
Speaker 3: company who make that foot mold package thing. They read
Speaker 3: message and said, we've never seen anybody do this, but
Speaker 3: thank you so much. We think I listen, Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: really really kind of you.
Speaker 2: It's always good to get a very lukewarm bit of
Speaker 2: gratitude from someone.
Speaker 3: But I highly recommend it anyone out there who wants
Speaker 3: to kill some time, do something weird beautiful keepsake foot
Speaker 3: molds and you know what, you might think it's disgusting,
Speaker 3: but I actually had someone offer me in amount of
Speaker 3: money for photos of my feet.
Speaker 2: How much money were they offering should we start an
Speaker 2: only feet?
Speaker 3: Well, I wasn't actually considering it, but I was just
Speaker 3: intrigued to know, like, what's my market value?
Speaker 2: How far did you take it? Did you write back
Speaker 2: and say how much will you pay for photos of
Speaker 2: my feet?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I said what's your budget?
Speaker 2: And what do they say?
Speaker 3: And they say, well, how much do you want?
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I got your price.
Speaker 3: It was hard because I didn't know what the you know,
Speaker 3: what the standard price is. They only wanted photos of
Speaker 3: my soul, not mouthul toes, which is a good thing,
Speaker 3: because you know, my big toe is so big, it's
Speaker 3: like weirdly enlarged. I used to lie to people when
Speaker 3: I was a kid and say I broke both big toes,
Speaker 3: which is why they're so big.
Speaker 2: Matt has a particularly bulbous big toe, so big, it's
Speaker 2: not the only thing that's bulbous. Okay, Laura, please, So
Speaker 2: how much money can you make from selling foot picks?
Speaker 2: Did you actually get a did you get an amount?
Speaker 2: Did you drill it down?
Speaker 3: Look, I'm glad you asked, so I responded, I said,
Speaker 3: what's your budget? They said, how much do you want if.
Speaker 2: You're only showing part of the foot. Do they get
Speaker 2: a discount with like, no toes, just the soul?
Speaker 3: Well, I would give a full soul plus toes. I
Speaker 3: would give them the package. And I didn't write back,
Speaker 3: which was kind of good. A good tactic is to
Speaker 3: play hard to get, because then they came back and said, look,
Speaker 3: I'll give you two fifty.
Speaker 2: For one photo of your foot.
Speaker 3: I think it was for one photo. Maybe, I'm not sure.
Speaker 3: If it's expected that you at least send three or
Speaker 3: four didn't confirm. But then I wrote back and said,
Speaker 3: not for me, thanks very much.
Speaker 2: Are you telling me we could have made two hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty dollars all you had to do was send
Speaker 2: photos of your feet? Yeah, well I thought we were doing.
Speaker 2: After this episode, they're not.
Speaker 3: Even that good the fee. I would feel bad charging
Speaker 3: two fifty. I was almost just going to send them
Speaker 3: off and just be like, hey, look, don't worry about
Speaker 3: the money, just enjoy this. This one's on me.
Speaker 2: Reel them in with a little like a little taste test,
Speaker 2: and then maybe you can up your price if they
Speaker 2: do like it and want more after that. It is
Speaker 2: very tempting not here to yuck anyone's young. I understand
Speaker 2: that I like feet. Yeah, I mean, I have nothing
Speaker 2: against feet. I'm not someone who has a foot version.
Speaker 2: But it is a bold ass just to slide into
Speaker 2: someone's DMS and say we don't have any connection, you
Speaker 2: don't know me, but I will give you two hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty dollars for a picture of your feet.
Speaker 3: That's good money. I'd like to think that that's a
Speaker 3: really premium price.
Speaker 2: I like to think that this is a new savings
Speaker 2: plan for us in a way that we can make
Speaker 2: a little bit of income on the side. I will
Speaker 2: hold those feed out.
Speaker 3: Hey, social media starts to slow down a little bit.
Speaker 2: That's the root I'm going to take You are a
Speaker 2: content creator. Actually, speaking of content, what a segue that
Speaker 2: was you Recently, If anyone hasn't seen, there is an
Speaker 2: Instagram post that Matt created it is I mean, it's
Speaker 2: a little bit blasphemous. It didn't get the best feedback
Speaker 2: from some people.
Speaker 3: You few Christians out there were a little bit angry,
Speaker 3: which I.
Speaker 2: Understand, totally understand. We dressed up as Adam and Eve
Speaker 2: and it was all around. How unfortunately women got the
Speaker 2: short straw, like we truly did.
Speaker 3: It's so unfair we.
Speaker 2: Get when we got periods, we got childbirth, we got menopause.
Speaker 2: There is a lot of things.
Speaker 3: We can pay. I mean, we could go on and on,
Speaker 3: and that is.
Speaker 2: What the skid is about. Now. Matt, when he creates
Speaker 2: these skits, he always scripts them out, and you would
Speaker 2: think that a lot of them are kind of free flowing,
Speaker 2: but there's a lot of work and time and energy
Speaker 2: and comedy that goes into it.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much for acknowledging my hard work.
Speaker 2: And we have to keep it all under a one minute.
Speaker 2: So Matt had scripted out the conversation that went between
Speaker 2: God essentially and Adam and Eve. And one of the
Speaker 2: things that God said to Adam and Eve in this
Speaker 2: skit was well, I.
Speaker 3: Wasn't sure this part. Now. I rode tested it on
Speaker 3: Laura because I wasn't sure if it was too crass.
Speaker 3: I was like, can I put this in there?
Speaker 2: I'm sure it was God speaking to Eve and he
Speaker 2: was like, and Adam won't be able to find your glitterus.
Speaker 2: This is what it was written down. It was typed up,
Speaker 2: but Matt was reading it out to me aloud, and
Speaker 2: I would love for you to kind of just let's
Speaker 2: role play this reenact exactly how you said it, I.
Speaker 3: Said, and Adam won't be able to find your Cletoris?
Speaker 2: Sorry?
Speaker 3: My what Cletaoris?
Speaker 2: Sorry?
Speaker 3: Which I now.
Speaker 2: Know is the dinosaur that's in my vagina, My Cletorus.
Speaker 3: It's coming for us. Run scene from Jurassic Park, this
Speaker 3: giant clatorus jomping down the road.
Speaker 2: It was only last week that I discovered that my
Speaker 2: thirty five year old soon to be husband, not only
Speaker 2: can most men not find the clitterists, but there are
Speaker 2: some who don't know how to even pronounce the word.
Speaker 3: It's a hard word to say.
Speaker 2: Say it now.
Speaker 3: I just want to say clatorus in my head, that's
Speaker 3: how it's pronounced clitteris. Surely there's other men out there.
Speaker 2: You said it with such conviction that I found myself
Speaker 2: googling what is the correct way to say clitterous? I
Speaker 2: was like, have I been saying it wrong?
Speaker 3: With these years? Can I blame everybody else out there
Speaker 3: who has never once corrected me?
Speaker 2: How many times do you think that you've hooked up
Speaker 2: with girls in the past? And you were like, there's
Speaker 2: your cladoras, Omaha, there it has.
Speaker 3: My whole life, I've always been like, why are they
Speaker 3: calling this weird face? I thought I was doing a
Speaker 3: good job. Yeah, look that was so good. I admit it.
Speaker 3: I've learned. I've moved on. I'm learning. You're never too
Speaker 3: old to learn, Laura.
Speaker 2: Every day is a school day, That's what they say.
Speaker 2: But general what else? I feel really validated by this.
Speaker 2: There is a study that spoke volumes to me. Not
Speaker 2: only did it speak volumes to me, but so many
Speaker 2: of you sent it to me. Now, I have said
Speaker 2: so many times on this podcast that one of the
Speaker 2: most arousing things for me that if you, Maddie Jay,
Speaker 2: want to get me into the sack, all you have
Speaker 2: to do is pick up some spray and wipe, wipe
Speaker 2: down a couple of benches, fold a few towels correctly,
Speaker 2: fold them correctly in threes, and then maybe vacku and
Speaker 2: that is it. That's all I need. And now there
Speaker 2: is concrete proof that I am not alone. There was
Speaker 2: a study by The Conversation and it was published in
Speaker 2: the Journal of Sex Research, and this is what it said.
Speaker 2: It found that women in equal relationships, that being equal
Speaker 2: in terms of housework and mental load, were more satisfied
Speaker 2: and had higher sexual desires than those in unequal relationships.
Speaker 3: Who is commissioning this type of research.
Speaker 2: It truly seems like a bit of a waste of money, right.
Speaker 3: Like it's just the obvious. It's like saying women.
Speaker 2: Women are the ones who are commissioning this type of
Speaker 2: research to try and encourage their men who haven't done
Speaker 2: any cleaning to do more cleaning. We will fuck you
Speaker 2: if you clean the house.
Speaker 3: How obvious do you guys have to make it? Surely
Speaker 3: every guy up there knows. It's like, that's we're not
Speaker 3: getting the hints from our partners that we need to
Speaker 3: have scientists out there and be like, guys do the laundry.
Speaker 3: They're like, they will sleep with you.
Speaker 2: I mean, it makes sense, right.
Speaker 3: Men are still like, I just don't know what she wants,
Speaker 3: Like what do I have to do out there? The
Speaker 3: scientists are like, listen.
Speaker 2: This should not come as a surprise to anyone. I
Speaker 2: think nobody feels sexually aroused or their sexual desire when
Speaker 2: there's that resentment that's building when there's this idea, or
Speaker 2: you're living in a household where you're taking on the
Speaker 2: majority workload, where you're taking on not only just the
Speaker 2: physical domestic duties, but also the mental workload, and your
Speaker 2: partner comes home after a day of work, which in
Speaker 2: most sexual relationships majority of women are also working throughout
Speaker 2: the day, and then they're also working throughout the night,
Speaker 2: and then they're expected to have sex, and nobody is
Speaker 2: in the mood, and everyone has a headache, and most
Speaker 2: people are feeling quite tired.
Speaker 3: I'm fine with it. I don't mind.
Speaker 2: You don't mind cleaning, or you don't mind no ache.
Speaker 3: I don't mind a messy house, like I could cook dinner.
Speaker 3: I don't need to clean the dishes before I have sex,
Speaker 3: like it's fine. Like I don't mind having sex with
Speaker 3: dirty laundry on the floor in the bedroom.
Speaker 2: See, I find it completely unarousing. I don't want to
Speaker 2: have sex around filth.
Speaker 3: But we're in the bed, We're not around the dirty
Speaker 3: laundry or the like the dirty floor as it's always
Speaker 3: been the case. It's after kids. I feel like kids
Speaker 3: is when that starts to turn for people.
Speaker 2: I think progressively, Like if I look back on my twenties,
Speaker 2: I think I was fine with a messy house in
Speaker 2: my twenties, especially my teens, could not occurred less that.
Speaker 2: As I've gotten progressively older, my standard for cleanliness has
Speaker 2: also increased.
Speaker 3: Just one second, Laura, I've got to put away a
Speaker 3: couple of things.
Speaker 2: Hang on a second, All right, let's get into the
Speaker 2: questions that you all asked. Now, there were so many
Speaker 2: that came in which were look.
Speaker 3: At all these towels that I've followed more shut out?
Speaker 2: You like that I have one which I'm very interested
Speaker 2: in hearing your response to. As a man, is it
Speaker 2: true that some guys can't finish using a condom? I've
Speaker 2: started dating a guy, super respectful, he's kind, he's intelligent,
Speaker 2: he could even be my penguin. After a few dates,
Speaker 2: we were naked and we were about to go all
Speaker 2: the way when he said that he didn't have a condom,
Speaker 2: so I said, I don't have unprotected sex. He was
Speaker 2: respectful and we left it, so he didn't have sex
Speaker 2: on this occasion. Good round two, which was only a
Speaker 2: week later, we went to have sex again and he
Speaker 2: didn't bring a condom, and this time I said, it's fine,
Speaker 2: I've brought them. But after a long session he said, sorry,
Speaker 2: I can't finish using one of these. So he took
Speaker 2: it off and he finished himself off with his hand.
Speaker 3: Okay, is this normal.
Speaker 2: I'm so confused. Are some guys unable to finish using
Speaker 2: a condom?
Speaker 3: I think? So? Do you know the issue here? Though?
Speaker 3: I reckon I would put money on the fact that
Speaker 3: he's just masturbating too much.
Speaker 2: Tell me why you think that.
Speaker 3: Well, there's a huge difference even when we have sex.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I can last two minutes. Sometimes I can last.
Speaker 2: It's a blissful two minutes, let me tell you.
Speaker 3: But sometimes you know, we don't I don't know when
Speaker 3: we're going to have sex. Like for me, you know,
Speaker 3: it could be could be tonight, could be tomorrow, could
Speaker 3: be next week. I'm not sure. But sometimes you know,
Speaker 3: I will masturbate for my hand up. I'll say I
Speaker 3: do it. And it's always awkward when when let's say
Speaker 3: I've masturbated that day and then you're like, hey, I'm
Speaker 3: in the mood, and I'm like, okay, well, obviously I'm
Speaker 3: going to last a bit longer here because I've just
Speaker 3: done the deed, whereas if it's been if it's been
Speaker 3: a week or well, maybe longer, I'll last like a minute.
Speaker 3: I'm they're raring to go, right, OK.
Speaker 2: So you think that he's masturbated on the day before
Speaker 2: he's gone on this day or before they've had sex,
Speaker 2: and if he hadn't, he was if there was more
Speaker 2: sexual tension, sexual build up, he would be able to come,
Speaker 2: regardless of whether he'd warn a condom or not.
Speaker 3: Obviously, it's slightly desensitized when you're wearing a condom, There's
Speaker 3: no question about it. But I think I don't care
Speaker 3: who the guy is. I don't care how much sex
Speaker 3: they've had in their life. If they don't masturbate for
Speaker 3: a week and have sex wearing a condom, I'll come
Speaker 3: in five minutes.
Speaker 2: That is a big and ballsy It's very big.
Speaker 3: I mean, I got confident, I went with it. I'm
Speaker 3: no scientist. But can the guys who did the research
Speaker 3: about doing chores finding it sexual, can they do some
Speaker 3: research about guys having sex without masturbating.
Speaker 2: Okay, but there has been Okay, there has been billions
Speaker 2: of dollars put into the production and manufacture of condoms.
Speaker 3: Oh, they're very good.
Speaker 2: They have made them as thin, as durable, as sensitized
Speaker 2: as humanly possible. It is almost like, I mean, it's
Speaker 2: not like you're not wearing anything at all. You can
Speaker 2: still tell your own condom. But it is very thin.
Speaker 2: It does not impede sensation that much for him to
Speaker 2: completely say that he cannot come wearing a condom. I
Speaker 2: do also think he's gotten that in his head, like
Speaker 2: he's like, mentally he doesn't want to wear one. He
Speaker 2: knows that if he kind of implies that enough that
Speaker 2: eventually you're going to turn around and take your own
Speaker 2: contraception into your hands, or this will just be the
Speaker 2: case he will have to finish himself off. So I mean,
Speaker 2: I think, don't back down. I'm like, if you want
Speaker 2: him to wear a condom, even if you're confused, even
Speaker 2: if you're kind of like, why is why is he
Speaker 2: not getting there? Don't feel guilty, and don't change what
Speaker 2: you want and how you want your contraception to be,
Speaker 2: because like, ultimately that's the most important thing.
Speaker 3: And just tell him to stop masturbating every single day.
Speaker 3: You know, some guys masturbate like twice a day.
Speaker 2: What do you think is probably average? Like if you're
Speaker 2: going to say, amongst your friends and the conversations that
Speaker 2: you've had, I'm sure every time you catch up with
Speaker 2: your mates you ask them how frequently they're masturbate? But
Speaker 2: how often is normal for a guy to masturbate.
Speaker 3: I think when you're younger, you're doing it like every day.
Speaker 2: Multiple times a day, or just wants a day.
Speaker 3: I mean on a Sunday and it's you know, you
Speaker 3: bit hungover and you're by yourself. Maybe a couple of times,
Speaker 3: maybe four, five?
Speaker 2: How many times do you think is you're older, Like,
Speaker 2: what's a normal amount to masturbate if a guy is
Speaker 2: still going to maintain a active and like enjoyable sex
Speaker 2: life with their partner where it's not impeding on their
Speaker 2: ability to have good sex.
Speaker 3: I don't know. Sometimes now I'm a very busy guy, Laura,
Speaker 3: because I've obviously got two girls, and you know, I'm
Speaker 3: doing so much work around the house. I've literally every
Speaker 3: night I've got a fold towers for an hour. Maybe
Speaker 3: I think maybe like once a week maybe for me,
Speaker 3: I try and save myself, or when we have sex,
Speaker 3: I try and give you everything of me.
Speaker 2: You're such an angel. All this is a very exposing
Speaker 2: podcast episode. We are very sorry. I did not expect
Speaker 2: it to go there. Okay, all right, I have another question,
Speaker 2: and this one's a little bit more serious. Help. I'm
Speaker 2: in a pickle and I'm not sure how to approach
Speaker 2: a situation.
Speaker 3: I'm imagining someone who's litually stuck in a giant pickle,
Speaker 3: being like, can someone please call the police. I've found
Speaker 3: myself submerged in a giant pickle. I don't know how
Speaker 3: I got here, sorry, continued.
Speaker 2: I'm looking for advice. I did something I shouldn't have
Speaker 2: while my boyfriend was a sleeping I went through his phone.
Speaker 2: I didn't have any intention of finding anything. However, lately, oh,
Speaker 2: come on, you did have intentions. If you do a
Speaker 2: little bit of a dig, you think that maybe there
Speaker 2: might be something there. But she said that lately their
Speaker 2: sex life hasn't been great, almost not too much masturbating.
Speaker 3: There's a common theme here.
Speaker 2: Well, she said, the sex life hasn't been great, almost
Speaker 2: non existent for around three months, which has been really
Speaker 2: getting to me as I've opened up to him how
Speaker 2: I would like more affection. What I wasn't expecting was
Speaker 2: some photos I found in his recently deleted folder. So
Speaker 2: in his images, in his recently deleted images, there were
Speaker 2: multiple images of my friend's bag from when she stayed
Speaker 2: at my house, followed by individual images of her underwear followed.
Speaker 2: This was two fo and there were screenshots of his
Speaker 2: ex from twenty eighteen, So he'd gone back onto his
Speaker 2: ex's profile and screenshot photos on Instagram, and he'd also
Speaker 2: screenshot a photo from his snapchat of them together. How
Speaker 2: do I approach this situation because the photos don't imply cheating,
Speaker 2: but they are very fucking weird.
Speaker 3: Very strange, very strange. Why would he take a photo of.
Speaker 2: Your friend's underwear.
Speaker 3: Friends underwear and the bag as well? That's quite concerning.
Speaker 3: That's that behavior is a little bit creepy, if you
Speaker 3: ask me.
Speaker 2: I agree. I read this and I was like, I
Speaker 2: think so many of us have been in the situation
Speaker 2: where we have found something like you did the wrong thing.
Speaker 2: Going through your partner's phone is an invasion of privacy.
Speaker 2: But I still think that so many of us have
Speaker 2: been in the situation where we've done it. I know
Speaker 2: that I have seen things in your phone, not because
Speaker 2: I intentionally went through your phone, but I was like,
Speaker 2: how do I explain to you that I've seen something
Speaker 2: that I shouldn't have seen because you're going to think
Speaker 2: that I'm going through your phone. And one thing that
Speaker 2: comes to mind is and you might not. I don't
Speaker 2: know if you remember this map. It was before the
Speaker 2: logis in twenty nineteen. We were in bed together and
Speaker 2: I had taken some photos on your phone and I
Speaker 2: was going through the photos and then I had accidentally well,
Speaker 2: actually I deleted a few because I looked really ugly,
Speaker 2: but I also deleted one where I thought I looked
Speaker 2: great and I wanted to undelete the photo. Sure, so
Speaker 2: I went into the deleted photos and there was a
Speaker 2: photo of a girl in there. Nothing that was lude,
Speaker 2: but it was obviously a selfie that had been taken
Speaker 2: by her and sent. And I was like, why do
Speaker 2: you have a selfie? Like, who is this girl? She's
Speaker 2: not someone who you're talking to on Who is who
Speaker 2: would be sending you a picture of themselves which is flirty,
Speaker 2: not inappropriate in terms of like there being like a
Speaker 2: you know, sex sexual or anything. But it was like,
Speaker 2: obviously a flirty, cute picture of a girl that had
Speaker 2: sent it.
Speaker 3: What was my excuses? Again? What did I say in
Speaker 3: that situation?
Speaker 2: So it was a picture that one of your friends
Speaker 2: had sent in a WhatsApp group of a girl that
Speaker 2: they were dating, That's right. So it was actually one
Speaker 2: of the guys through on the Bachelor with Matt Clancy
Speaker 2: had sent the photo of his new girlfriend, and you know,
Speaker 2: and like I said, it wasn't an inappropriate photo. It
Speaker 2: was just like, this is the girl I'm dating. But
Speaker 2: it had automatically saved your camera roll and you had
Speaker 2: deleted it, so it had a.
Speaker 3: You were very angry that day.
Speaker 2: I was fucking I was like because, like I guess,
Speaker 2: coming from someone who had been cheated on I for
Speaker 2: a long time in our relationship, was worried about the worst,
Speaker 2: Like I was worried about what could happen. And it
Speaker 2: was hard to bring it up with you because I
Speaker 2: didn't want you to think that I had purposely gone
Speaker 2: through your phone or that I was, you know, insinuating
Speaker 2: that something had happened. It was really hard for me
Speaker 2: to bring it up with you because ultimately I had
Speaker 2: still gone into a part of your phone that I
Speaker 2: hadn't asked if that was okay, Like I'd still gone
Speaker 2: into your deleted items. Whether I was intentionally looking for
Speaker 2: something or not, it was a bit of an invasion
Speaker 2: of your privacy. So bringing that up, I felt like, God,
Speaker 2: how's he going to respond to this? But also I
Speaker 2: had to bring it up because I was the curiosity
Speaker 2: got the better of me. Now in this situation, I
Speaker 2: think you have done the wrong thing and you have
Speaker 2: to own that. But you have to bring it up
Speaker 2: because this kind of weird maa hanging.
Speaker 3: If you like, what do you say? Because I think
Speaker 3: it's one thing to have because initially, when I thought
Speaker 3: it was just an old photo of his X, I
Speaker 3: didn't know it was photos of her friend's bag and
Speaker 3: friend's underwear.
Speaker 2: Like that's okay, Maybe you can lie, maybe you can
Speaker 2: use my story, Maybe you can say I was going
Speaker 2: through your photos, I deleted something and I saw these
Speaker 2: obviously lyings very bad, but like maybe you can use
Speaker 2: my excuse that might soften the blow. But ultimately, if
Speaker 2: you're a bigger and braver person, I think you should
Speaker 2: admit to it, because I think that the honesty of
Speaker 2: saying I went through your phone. Partly because I'm feeling
Speaker 2: really insecure, I'm feeling like you don't love me anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like we don't have the same sexual chemistry
Speaker 2: that we used to have. Something's lacking, and I found
Speaker 2: it really hard to bring that up with you. And
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I went looking and this
Speaker 2: is what I found, and I'm really confused. Can we
Speaker 2: talk about this? I think that's really important.
Speaker 3: Yeah. To me, I think that's a really tricky conversation
Speaker 3: to have because I think this guy is checking out.
Speaker 2: I think, but do you not even think if he
Speaker 2: is checking out, isn't it worth Oh totally?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, for sure you have the conversation. But I think,
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know what kind of guy it is.
Speaker 3: But normally, when you're in a situation where you've been
Speaker 3: found out, it's so much harder to say, do you
Speaker 3: know what this is how I'm actually feeling. I think
Speaker 3: his reaction would be like it was nothing. I just
Speaker 3: you know, I thought it was your underwear, Like I
Speaker 3: thought it was your bag, and it was just a
Speaker 3: photo that popped up on Snapchat and I'd screenshotted it
Speaker 3: by accident and deleted it. I think majority of guys
Speaker 3: would just give crappy excuses to shift the blame, and
Speaker 3: also to not have sex for three months. I would
Speaker 3: see that as a long period of time. So I
Speaker 3: think there's major issues here.
Speaker 2: I mean that is obviously in any conversation, somebody can
Speaker 2: be defensive. Somebody can turn around and say, you know,
Speaker 2: put it back on you. But at least if there
Speaker 2: are some huge cracks and some huge flaws, you're opening
Speaker 2: up the platform for him to be honest, you know,
Speaker 2: and for him to say what it is that's happening,
Speaker 2: and if he is wanting it out or if he
Speaker 2: is completely unsatisfied in the relationship, it is an opportunity
Speaker 2: for him to say, Look, this is how I have
Speaker 2: been feeling.
Speaker 3: I've gone through and you know, obviously you're going back five, six,
Speaker 3: seven years and as soon as you get into a
Speaker 3: new relationship. I've never gone through and then cleaned out
Speaker 3: every single photo. I'm not talking about news or anything
Speaker 3: like that, just you know, like shots on holiday, on vacation,
Speaker 3: when you're at the beach together. I've not gone through
Speaker 3: and cleared out everything because I don't have time. And
Speaker 3: there's been moments where I've gone through and tried to
Speaker 3: find an old photo and I have gone through and
Speaker 3: looked at photos from a vacation where they're really loving
Speaker 3: photos of me and my ex partner and gone on,
Speaker 3: do you know what, I will delete them because I'm
Speaker 3: there right now in twenty fourteen. But that's the only
Speaker 3: time I've done it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I guess like, that's the other thing. I mean,
Speaker 2: he's another situation that could have arisen with the whole
Speaker 2: X thing. Has he deleted all the other photos of
Speaker 2: his ex from his phone? Like is there no photos
Speaker 2: of his X on his phone? And were these photos
Speaker 2: that he'd screenshot a long time ago and he realized
Speaker 2: they were still in his phone so he's deleted them.
Speaker 2: They're not like he's just currently gone back and screenshot
Speaker 2: these photos to then delete them, which is weird. So
Speaker 2: there could be an innocent answer to the things that
Speaker 2: are upsetting you if you bring it up. But the
Speaker 2: one that I think is way fucking weirder is the
Speaker 2: photos of your friend's underwear. Like I would be very,
Speaker 2: very very uncomfortable by that, And I think that the
Speaker 2: only way to get some sort of resolutions and to
Speaker 2: get some sort of peace of mind around this is
Speaker 2: to have a conversation with him and see what he
Speaker 2: says in that instance.
Speaker 3: And as much as you want to bring up the
Speaker 3: conversation with your partner to find out what his motive
Speaker 3: was here with these photos, I think it's really important
Speaker 3: to do it on behalf of your friend because they've
Speaker 3: had such an invasion of privacy coming into your house
Speaker 3: and having those types of photos taken.
Speaker 2: Okay, next question, Now, this is one that I have
Speaker 2: very strong feels about. Do you need to resolve a
Speaker 2: fight before going to sleep with your significant other.
Speaker 3: I think it's a very good call to do it.
Speaker 3: I always try to resolve a fight before before we
Speaker 3: go to bed. That has been I think, I think
Speaker 3: since we started dating, Laura. I think maybe once or
Speaker 3: twice we've had a fight and I've slept with my
Speaker 3: back to you or vice versa.
Speaker 2: I can't stand it. Also because I just don't sleep
Speaker 2: like you would go to sleep straight away and then
Speaker 2: sleep U still in nine hours? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I'm so angry. I'm laying in bed staring at your back,
Speaker 2: like I fucking hate you. If I don't I love you, But.
Speaker 3: I pretend that I'm sleeping, but you're so angry. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm really angry, and I'm like, I'll pretend like I'm
Speaker 3: breathing heavily, but actually I'm like, I should have said this,
Speaker 3: and she said that, and that really hurt my feelings
Speaker 3: and I hurt her feelings and I shouldn't have I
Speaker 3: try as best as we can. I think, like the
Speaker 3: biggest argument we've ever had where I think we didn't
Speaker 3: talk to each other for maybe three or four hours.
Speaker 2: I think it was at the opera house. I was
Speaker 2: pregnant and you were drunk.
Speaker 3: I was not even drunk. You threw a glass at me.
Speaker 3: I did not.
Speaker 2: It was a plastic cup, if you're a plastic cup
Speaker 2: at you. Yeah, yelled at you at the opera house
Speaker 2: and we caught me emotional, hormonal, and I was like,
Speaker 2: you're just being an arsehole. It was a bad one.
Speaker 2: It was a very bad one.
Speaker 3: But in my head, I knew that after we got
Speaker 3: home and we got into bed, I knew that I'd
Speaker 3: have to like roll over and tap you on the
Speaker 3: shoulder and apologize because I didn't.
Speaker 2: We went to sleep. I did what would Really, that's
Speaker 2: the one time we didn't make up before. Really we
Speaker 2: made up the next day, okay, and then we said
Speaker 2: we will never do that again.
Speaker 3: It's funny when I talk to other couples and they
Speaker 3: take the approach of when they have a really big argument,
Speaker 3: they just go to bed and then they pretend like
Speaker 3: it didn't happen. I'm like, oh my gosh, how do
Speaker 3: you do that? I always maybe it's petty. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I always need to for every big argument, not the
Speaker 3: small stuff, but for every big argument. I feel like
Speaker 3: we need to sit down, talk it through, what happened,
Speaker 3: why did you behave like that, apologize, make sure the
Speaker 3: other person has their feelings heard. I think that's so
Speaker 3: important and that resolution. I can't I can't progress unless
Speaker 3: there has been that, Like everyone's had their moment, had
Speaker 3: their say, and we can move on well.
Speaker 2: I also think in this come down to argument styles, right,
Speaker 2: Like people fight differently in the same way that we
Speaker 2: have different love languages. We all communicate differently and fight differently.
Speaker 2: When we're mad and we're pissed off. Do I think
Speaker 2: you need to resolve a fight before going to bed.
Speaker 3: No, but you need to have that little peck and
Speaker 3: say I love you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you need to be like, even though I'm
Speaker 2: very cranky at you right now, even though I'm very cross,
Speaker 2: I still love you because And this goes for fights
Speaker 2: that are like you know I'm talking about when you
Speaker 2: are irritated and pissed off and you've said and you've
Speaker 2: gotten cranky about something, but the actual thing that you're
Speaker 2: cranking about is pretty inconsequential when you actually get down
Speaker 2: to the crux of like why are you annoyed at
Speaker 2: your partner? What is it that's upset you? If it's
Speaker 2: a big thing, like you know, if there's infidelity, if
Speaker 2: it's a you know, if there's a big catalyst as
Speaker 2: to why you're fighting. No, it's unreasonable to expect and
Speaker 2: put the pressure on yourself that you're going to roll
Speaker 2: over and be like, I love you, everything's fine. Sometimes
Speaker 2: things are not fine. But if you know that you're
Speaker 2: going to wake up in the morning and it's going
Speaker 2: to be okay, then I think one of you or
Speaker 2: both of you have to be the bigger person that
Speaker 2: rolls over and says, I'm very cranky, I'm very cross
Speaker 2: that I love you, and we can talk about the
Speaker 2: rest of it in the morning, but give me a cuddle,
Speaker 2: because otherwise, otherwise you hold on to being right so much, yes,
Speaker 2: and you're just fighting, and you're really being like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna wait until they apologize, because you want to
Speaker 2: be right, and sometimes it's better to have peace than
Speaker 2: to be right.
Speaker 3: There are times in my head I'm like, there is
Speaker 3: no way that I'm going to apologize first this one's
Speaker 3: on Laura. And then after an hour, I'm like, nope,
Speaker 3: stay strong, Maddy Jay, this is it. This is all
Speaker 3: on Laura. And then after like two or three hours,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I did say this, and I could have
Speaker 3: done this better. And we always have this moment where
Speaker 3: we look at each other, like You'll come into the
Speaker 3: room and I'm in the kitchen and we look at
Speaker 3: each other and we were making up. Now bring it in.
Speaker 2: You're coming.
Speaker 3: Always say yeah, You're like, cell me out, Okay, got
Speaker 3: a couple of cranky's in there. We're gonna squeeze the matter.
Speaker 3: There's a few more in there. One would be and
Speaker 3: I I hate it so much, and you were like,
Speaker 3: there's still a cranky.
Speaker 2: In there, And it always ends up making you laugh
Speaker 2: and then we get over it. But no, I really
Speaker 2: do think.
Speaker 3: I think it's how fucking old are we?
Speaker 2: These are the people you come to for relationship advice.
Speaker 2: We fucking don't know what we're doing.
Speaker 3: You'll be sixty and you'll be like, can you get
Speaker 3: a couple of the quankies in there? Our kids will
Speaker 3: be like, what the fuck are our parents doing?
Speaker 2: But I also don't you think, like you know when
Speaker 2: it comes to going to sleep and being angry, you
Speaker 2: rob both of you of a peaceful night sleep, you know,
Speaker 2: and it's and then it builds and you get that
Speaker 2: resentment and you just get angrier and angrier, and then
Speaker 2: you're both tired and angry the next day that you
Speaker 2: didn't try and resolve something. So I think even if
Speaker 2: you can't resolve it, making sure that the other person
Speaker 2: still knows that you love them, because when you're angry,
Speaker 2: even if it's something petty, often you can feel so
Speaker 2: angry that in that moment you're like, I fucking hate
Speaker 2: my partner. That you don't hate them, you're just angry.
Speaker 2: So I think having the rational mind come in and go, Okay,
Speaker 2: this will pass. I know that this isn't a deal
Speaker 2: breaker in our relationship, So I'm not going to treat
Speaker 2: this argument as though it is the deal breaker of
Speaker 2: our relationship, because that can do more damage. I think.
Speaker 2: I'm want to go one more question, and this one
Speaker 2: is completely on you, Matt. Okay, why don't men wash
Speaker 2: their hands when they go to the toilet and why
Speaker 2: do they constantly touch their dick and balls?
Speaker 3: Do you remember last night I was on the couch
Speaker 3: and I was on my phone and I was doing
Speaker 3: that little I was doing the announcement to say, hey,
Speaker 3: if you have any questions, submit it here for usk
Speaker 3: and cut. No one could see where my hands were,
Speaker 3: but I had my hands on my I was cupping it.
Speaker 2: Why did Why are you cupping it while you're putting
Speaker 2: it an Instagram thing up?
Speaker 3: It just feels good when I cut my balls, okay,
Speaker 3: but why, I don't know. It just feels. It feels secure.
Speaker 2: I think it's the same for women, though, because we
Speaker 2: often just hold a.
Speaker 3: Bread like we'll be say, like you hold your clatorus.
Speaker 2: Often you'll be doing something and you just hold the
Speaker 2: right breast or the left breast. Mine's my left one.
Speaker 2: I think I find that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it feels it just feels good. In terms
Speaker 3: of washing hands, oh gosh, you really popped on the
Speaker 3: spot here. I mean, I always wash my hands no
Speaker 3: matter what I'm doing in the bathroom, because that is
Speaker 3: the hygienic thing to do.
Speaker 2: You are disgusting. What do you wash your hands after
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 3: We look? I mean, do you do you mean to
Speaker 3: tell the truth or.
Speaker 2: What you're disgusting?
Speaker 3: I'm building resilience.
Speaker 2: You cook food with those hands.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I do. Look sometimes it's it's winter right now,
Speaker 3: the water comes out, it's extremely cold, and I can't
Speaker 3: bother to wait for it to warm.
Speaker 2: Up, and it's disgusting. It's absolutely yes, because there's an
Speaker 2: expectation that women always wash their hands, and we do
Speaker 2: always wash our hands when we go to the toilet.
Speaker 2: It's like very normal. That's ingreain in us since we're little,
Speaker 2: Like why is it as women?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? I think it's the same for men,
Speaker 3: Like is it though?
Speaker 2: Then? White have been one day just stopped doing it.
Speaker 3: Because it's why I feel awkward here telling you that.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's so much judgment.
Speaker 3: Look, sometimes I'll do like a fake.
Speaker 2: Wash, you know, like who are you faking it to?
Speaker 3: Because okay, okay, all right. Look, let's say it's a
Speaker 3: sporting event and there's a guy next to me at
Speaker 3: the sink. Except I don't want I don't want wet hands.
Speaker 3: I don't want to, you know, And I.
Speaker 2: Haven't had a rather penis fingers I had.
Speaker 3: I haven't had to open any doors, and so sometimes
Speaker 3: I'll just like put the water on and I'll like
Speaker 3: make it look like I've splashed my hands under the water.
Speaker 3: But really, I've just done it to make it look
Speaker 3: like they're being washed, and I walk out.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like we've actually gotten to an answer
Speaker 2: from this. All we have resolved is the fact that
Speaker 2: Matt is also a disgusting man who doesn't wash his hands.
Speaker 3: You cannot attack me like that.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3: I think it's just men are bloody lazy and any
Speaker 3: any way that we can cut corner.
Speaker 2: Ah, there we go. We have the answer answer that
Speaker 2: everyone has been looking for.
Speaker 3: Men are just really bloody lazy, and it doesn't matter
Speaker 3: what the activity is. It could be sex, washing your hands,
Speaker 3: washing the car. If we can cut a corner, we'll
Speaker 3: bloody do it.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't think let's not stereotype all man like
Speaker 2: summer grain.
Speaker 3: No, we're pretty shit. Let's be honest. So you always
Speaker 3: wash your hands.
Speaker 2: Every single time I go, the time I wash my hands.
Speaker 3: Look at you so fucking perfect on your high horse
Speaker 3: over there.
Speaker 2: Do we have time for one more, even if it's
Speaker 2: just a quickie?
Speaker 3: Sure?
Speaker 2: Do you believe that there is such a thing as
Speaker 2: punching above your weight in a relationship? I feel like
Speaker 2: the guy I'm dating is much more attractive than what
Speaker 2: I am. And I also think that some of his
Speaker 2: friends think this about me. Also, do you think that
Speaker 2: this is something I should be concerned about?
Speaker 3: Not concerned, but it's definitely a thing, like.
Speaker 2: I'm not a fie.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm doing it right now my relationship.
Speaker 2: No, of course, they can be different levels of attractiveness.
Speaker 3: I just gave you the world's biggest compliment and you
Speaker 3: just zoomed on past.
Speaker 2: It because it's not true. It's not true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's not true, but I was trying
Speaker 3: to be sweep. It's like it's a last question.
Speaker 2: Okay. I think this is so problematic and it makes
Speaker 2: me feel so angry for you, and I also feel
Speaker 2: upset that you think that you are not as attractive
Speaker 2: as your.
Speaker 3: Partners are not worthy as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this makes me really sad. And the reason why
Speaker 2: this makes me really sad is because I would hope
Speaker 2: that for everyone that the least important thing in life,
Speaker 2: that the least valuable thing that you bring to a
Speaker 2: relationship is your level of attractiveness, because I would hope
Speaker 2: that you have so many other great qualities, like you know,
Speaker 2: whether you're funny, you're a fucking interesting person. And I
Speaker 2: think of Celeste Barber with this. Celest Barbara. I remember
Speaker 2: her doing an interview and she was talking about she
Speaker 2: always talks about her husband. She's like, you know my
Speaker 2: husbod husband, Yeah, and she said, the least interesting thing
Speaker 2: about me is the way I look. And I love
Speaker 2: that because I think you can shin up in a
Speaker 2: relationship and you can be such a fucking great, interesting
Speaker 2: person that keeps things spicy, that you know, brings interesting conversation,
Speaker 2: that stimulates your partner in so many other ways. Do
Speaker 2: not devalue yourself, or question your relationship, or question the
Speaker 2: reasons why your partner finds you attractive because of this
Speaker 2: that you're basing it on your looks. And I think
Speaker 2: that by doing that, by questioning your worthiness, by questioning
Speaker 2: your value purely based on your looks, all you're doing
Speaker 2: is devaluing your relationship.
Speaker 3: But it's really easy to say that. But at the
Speaker 3: same time, when you're dating, like that first couple of weeks,
Speaker 3: like the first month, so much of your own self
Speaker 3: worth does come down to looks because that's all you're
Speaker 3: able to see, Like, you haven't been able to show
Speaker 3: them that you're really intelligent and really funny and also
Speaker 3: really patient and caring and kind like those parts come
Speaker 3: later on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I think if somebody has opted into a relationship,
Speaker 2: like if you're dating someone and your insecurities are around
Speaker 2: the way that you look, but they're choosing you. They're
Speaker 2: actively in that relationship. They have picked being in a
Speaker 2: relationship with you, they spend their time with you, they're
Speaker 2: not giving you any question to doubt their commitment. You
Speaker 2: can create such a level of insecurity in your relationship
Speaker 2: by questioning like what is it in me that they
Speaker 2: find attractive? And that ultimately has nothing to do with
Speaker 2: them and them showing up in the relationship. It has
Speaker 2: to do with your self worth and how you view
Speaker 2: yourself and what you think you bring to that relationship.
Speaker 2: So this isn't a question so much about like can
Speaker 2: someone be punching up or punching down? It's how do
Speaker 2: you view yourself? Is the most important question.
Speaker 3: God, your good Laura, Ben goodness me.
Speaker 2: That is your peptok Ladies and gentlemen, that is my
Speaker 2: brand for the day.
Speaker 3: I absolutely bang on.
Speaker 2: But I think back. The reason why I think I
Speaker 2: really like this question is because when we first started
Speaker 2: dating There were definitely times where I felt insecure and
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you see in me? And
Speaker 2: then that made me question my level of attractiveness and
Speaker 2: my self worth, and then I pitted myself against other
Speaker 2: people who had been on the Bachelor, other bachelorettes, or
Speaker 2: people that had won the Bachelor in the past. And
Speaker 2: I think the only person who suffers in that situation
Speaker 2: is the one who's doing all that questioning, is the
Speaker 2: one who feels not good enough. No one else even
Speaker 2: knows that you're having these thoughts and these feelings, but
Speaker 2: because really fuck with your mental health because.
Speaker 3: I was having those thoughts as well.
Speaker 2: Were you?
Speaker 3: Nah? I knew I was pretty good back then. I
Speaker 3: was a bachelor. Look at you.
Speaker 2: You're like a fine one, my love. You're only getting
Speaker 2: pen with as Oh now.
Speaker 3: Five years on, I'm washed up. I'm like, shit, what
Speaker 3: have I got to offer? I don't even wash my hands,
Speaker 3: you don't even wash.
Speaker 2: Like you still got some ams on you. All right?
Speaker 2: That is it from us, Guys. If you have loved
Speaker 2: speaking to Matt, he will be back next week or
Speaker 2: next week's Thursday episode. Haven't told you that yet, but
Speaker 2: you will. Yeah, well, I mean depends on if BRIT's
Speaker 2: back or not. If she's back, we're going to kick
Speaker 2: you to the curve. But if she's not, we'll have
Speaker 2: another Thursday episode with Mattie Jay.
Speaker 3: Can I ask because I have been working very hard
Speaker 3: Laura Burn on the merch? Are we as merchs? Is
Speaker 3: it out yet? Are we talking about it?
Speaker 2: It's not released yet, but we are talking about it.
Speaker 3: I've teased it because obviously you posted about it on
Speaker 3: Life on Cut, on the socials.
Speaker 2: It's coming very soon, coming soon, So I think the
Speaker 2: merch will be available on Sunday, but we're going to
Speaker 2: keep everybody updated across social media as soon as we
Speaker 2: have exactly the day that it's dropping. You will know
Speaker 2: via Instagram. You can jump on it's at Life on
Speaker 2: Cut podcasts. But the merch is gender neutral and it
Speaker 2: is fullken awesome.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, whoever has been working on those products
Speaker 3: has just done a really stellar job. But I don't
Speaker 3: know who it is, Laura, but we should applaud that
Speaker 3: person because blood, sweat, and teas have gone into these
Speaker 3: sweaters when you order, when they arrive, you'll see this
Speaker 3: blood and sweat all over them. That is from me okay.
Speaker 2: I Matt has been working very hard behind the scenes.
Speaker 2: He's our unpaid intern. We're paying him in love. It
Speaker 2: would be a true HR disaster they knew what I'm paying.
Speaker 3: Him in This has been such an ordeal, but Matt's.
Speaker 2: Been the one who actually has made the merch happen
Speaker 2: this year, and we're so grateful for everything you do
Speaker 2: for life on cart The.
Speaker 3: Jumper should have been here eight weeks ago in winter.
Speaker 2: Summer.
Speaker 3: Thank goodness, right now the temperatures have dropped.
Speaker 2: I was just looking outside and I was like, thank goodness,
Speaker 2: it's perfectly blue skies and the sun is shining, so
Speaker 2: that we're right in time for summer to drop our merds.
Speaker 3: Oh, where are these jumpers? They're coming, They're coming Sunday.
Speaker 2: Anyways, that is it from us, and you know the drill.
Speaker 2: If you love the episode, jump onto Apple Podcast leave
Speaker 2: a review. Beatty Jay, thank you so much for joining
Speaker 2: us on this episode.
Speaker 3: Laura. As always, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Speaker 2: And tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog,
Speaker 2: and tell your friends and share the love because we
Speaker 2: love love h