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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers. Now. Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson. Today

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Speaker 2: it's a holiday in Queensland, so we're keeping it short

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Speaker 2: and simple so that we can focus on time with

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Speaker 2: our family and so that you can focus on time

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Speaker 2: with your family as well. Today's podcasts just a sixty

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Speaker 2: second tip for making your family happier. Do you get

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Speaker 2: excited when your kids get everything right or do you

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Speaker 2: get excited when your children make mistakes and feel like

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Speaker 2: what they're doing is hard. Studies show that when we

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Speaker 2: praise or reward kids for being brilliant, they actually get

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Speaker 2: caught up in proving how good they are, and this

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Speaker 2: leads to them avoiding things that they could fail at

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Speaker 2: because failure might mean that they're not so good after all.

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Speaker 2: But research also shows that when children make mistakes and

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Speaker 2: we celebrate their determination and persistence, they develop what's called

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Speaker 2: a mastery focus, and they get excited about challenges and

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Speaker 2: they even accept failure. They're never going to be excited

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Speaker 2: about failing, nobody ever is, but they recognize that challenge

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Speaker 2: and failure means that they're mastering they're getting better. It's

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Speaker 2: a counterintuitive finding for confident children. Focus on process, effort,

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Speaker 2: and mastery, not outcome. Teach kids that failures are opportunities

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Speaker 2: to learn, and if success comes easy, play it down, apologize,

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Speaker 2: say I'm so sorry for giving you something so easy.

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Speaker 2: Let's find you a real challenge so that you can

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Speaker 2: really master this thing, and then celebrate real success, not

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Speaker 2: by telling them how great they are, but instead by

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Speaker 2: asking them how they think they did. It's the Happy

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Speaker 2: Families podcast.

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Speaker 1: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 1: to feel bad or in trouble. The Do's and donts

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Speaker 1: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 1: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at Happy

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Speaker 1: families dot com, dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much for enjoying the podcast today. We really

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Speaker 2: hope that you get something out of it when you

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Speaker 2: listen to the podcast and leave ratings and reviews at

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Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts. Others find out about it so that they

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Speaker 2: can make their family happier as well. If you'd like

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Speaker 2: more information about making your family happy, you can get

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Speaker 2: it at our Facebook page Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families,

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Speaker 2: or you can visit Happyfamilies dot com dot au