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Speaker 1: Hello and welcome of the Happy Families Podcast. A couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks ago, we were asked the question why do

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Speaker 1: you decide to homeschool your kids? How's it all going?

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Speaker 1: Should we do it?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: How do you make that kind of decision? And we

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Speaker 1: got a fairly substantial response from a lot of people

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Speaker 1: who are interested. One of my picks, one of my predictions,

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Speaker 1: my trend for twenty twenty six is that the homeschooling

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Speaker 1: situation is going to continue to rise and that schooling

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Speaker 1: is going to become continually individualized as families struggle with

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Speaker 1: issues around bullying and the associated challenges that school can

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Speaker 1: present for a lot of children. Well, today we're answering

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Speaker 1: one of your tricky questions and it extends the conversation further.

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Speaker 1: A mum who's saying, thinking it's time for homeschooling, but

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Speaker 1: I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. That

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Speaker 1: is our conversation today on the Happy Families Podcast. Stay

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Speaker 1: with us. Hello, welcome of the Happy Family podcast, where

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Speaker 1: you get real parenting solutions every single day. This is

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Speaker 1: Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast, so appreciate listening. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: being here every Tuesday on the pod, we answer your

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Speaker 1: tricky questions about pretty much whatever you want. You can

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Speaker 1: ask us anything. We love talking about stuff, especially as

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Speaker 1: it relates to family and relationships and wellbeing and screens

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Speaker 1: and school and discipline, and the list goes on. If

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Speaker 1: you'd like to submit a tricky question, we've got a

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Speaker 1: super simple system at Happy families dot com dot you

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Speaker 1: just scroll down to podcasts, click the record button, start talking.

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Speaker 1: It's literally that simple. Or send us a voice note

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Speaker 1: to podcasts at happy families dot com dot au. Just

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Speaker 1: like this month from New South Wales Central Coasts.

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Speaker 3: Hi, guys, it's Lisa from the Central Coast. You're right

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Speaker 3: justin this is such a great place to live. I'm

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Speaker 3: just out at the world. I watched nickids player as

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Speaker 3: we speak, and it is awesome. This question is mich

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Speaker 3: A Kylie. I guess we are about to start homeschooling

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Speaker 3: our five year old and I'd love to hear more

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Speaker 3: about what your days look like. How do you structure

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Speaker 3: your days thinking about homeschooling and everything else? In last

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Speaker 3: look for to hear from you. Bye.

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Speaker 1: So, first of all, I drew up the New South

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Speaker 1: Wales Central Coast, hence the reference there, and it did

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Speaker 1: sound a little bit blissful and idyllic, didn't it.

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Speaker 2: Well. She also made using the website sound ridiculously easy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Here, I am literally the beach, watching the kids and

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Speaker 1: leaving a voice note by a happy family. Guys, it's

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Speaker 1: super simple. One more point on this. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I've just been given the day off. I think this

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Speaker 1: is your podcast. I'm just going to sit back, relax,

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Speaker 1: and hand it over to you.

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Speaker 2: Because I am going to say the days that you

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Speaker 2: take control of the notes, they're a lot easier to

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Speaker 2: read and my hand written scrawl. So let's see how

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Speaker 2: we go. I was doing the maths. We have been

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Speaker 2: homeschooling now for nearly three and a half years.

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Speaker 1: Yeah wow, and hadn't thought of that.

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Speaker 2: I am still feeling completely inadequate to ansla question. I'd

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Speaker 2: love to give you like a prescribed day.

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Speaker 1: No, that's called school, but that's what school is exactly.

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Speaker 2: Every single day in our house looks different. In the beginning,

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Speaker 2: I had this grand plan that we would, you know,

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Speaker 2: school from nine to eleven or whatever the timeframe was,

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Speaker 2: it really is not important, but that we would have

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Speaker 2: some regimented structure to our day. But again, that's what

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Speaker 2: school does. Homeschooling is this beautiful opportunity for us to

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Speaker 2: be really flexible in the way we learn because some

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Speaker 2: kids actually will learn really good in the morning. Other

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Speaker 2: kids will learn better in the afternoon once they've got

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Speaker 2: all their wriggles out. Like every child.

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Speaker 1: Is going to be different and every day as well,

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Speaker 1: but there is still some structure what.

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Speaker 2: You do there is. So I thought, instead of giving

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Speaker 2: you like a plan of what our day looks like,

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Speaker 2: that I might just kind of cheat a little bit

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Speaker 2: laser and give you four tips that have made the

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Speaker 2: biggest difference to my home soog going journey.

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Speaker 1: Every now and again, when I put a list together,

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Speaker 1: you count me through it. I'm so excited to say,

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Speaker 1: what's number one?

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Speaker 2: Number one is take it slow. When I first pulled

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Speaker 2: the kids out, I was so scared. I was scared

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Speaker 2: I was going to destroy their education for starters. I

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Speaker 2: had no idea what I was doing. I had no

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Speaker 2: idea what to expect, and not at my child.

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Speaker 1: We were pretty gung ho, like, you've got to do

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Speaker 1: this many hours, You've got to do all this stuff,

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Speaker 1: like we were fully here is the strict regimen that

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Speaker 1: you have to follow so that we can do everything perfect.

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Speaker 1: Like at the start we were pretty intense about it.

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Speaker 1: We've loosened up a little bit, just.

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Speaker 2: A little, just a little. But I think the thing

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Speaker 2: that really resonates with me at the moment is the

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Speaker 2: acknowledgment that Rome wasn't built in a day. You're starting

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Speaker 2: something entirely new, and the great thing is you actually

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Speaker 2: get to decide what that looks like. There is an

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Speaker 2: to prescribe the way, There isn't one way to do it,

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Speaker 2: and you don't have to have it all worked out

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Speaker 2: on day one. It's going to take you weeks, maybe

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Speaker 2: even months. For me, I feel like the first year

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Speaker 2: and a half was kind of all trial and error.

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Speaker 2: I was actually learning how to work with my child

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Speaker 2: and she was learning how to work with me, and

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Speaker 2: that was really important for me to grasp. So that

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Speaker 2: kind of leads into number two.

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Speaker 1: Oh can I say, what's the second one?

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Speaker 2: Number two is actually about being gentle to yourself and

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Speaker 2: to your child because you're navigating completely new territory, and

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Speaker 2: not only new territory, but you're taking on a new

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Speaker 2: role in their life. Up until this moment, you've been

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Speaker 2: mum and now you're going to be teacher as well,

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Speaker 2: and that responsibility and that relationship changes a little bit

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Speaker 2: as you navigate that space together. And so for me,

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Speaker 2: what has been really helpful has been trusting my own

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Speaker 2: instincts and recognizing that as her parent, there are some

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Speaker 2: things that I know about her that nobody else knows

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Speaker 2: about her. She has strengths, but she also has challenges.

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Speaker 2: And if I can work to her strengths and kind

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Speaker 2: of support her more in her challenge spaces, then we're

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Speaker 2: going to have a much better experience together. I think

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Speaker 2: it's also really important to remember that you're like, this

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Speaker 2: is a huge, huge learning curve for the two of you,

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Speaker 2: and just like any new relationship, there's going to be

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Speaker 2: some time for you to work out. The Kink's homeschooling

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Speaker 2: relationship is no different.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm listening to what you're saying, and I

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Speaker 1: just I love this idea of your work without you

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Speaker 1: go slowly. The great news is you've got a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of time to make a whole lot of mistakes,

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Speaker 1: and if you try to make it perfect, you're just

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Speaker 1: going to put unnecessary pressure on yourself, especially if you're

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Speaker 1: starting at the beginning.

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Speaker 2: Well, the great thing for Lisa is her child has

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Speaker 2: no what going to happen, what school looks like. So

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Speaker 2: when covid hit Emily was six, she was in her

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Speaker 2: first year grade Grade one. Yeah, they sent home the schoolwork,

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Speaker 2: and I knew straight away that this was not going

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Speaker 2: to inspire exciting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because it wasn't homeschool, it was school at home.

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Speaker 2: And so I just took on a really creative flare.

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Speaker 2: So she had to write her alphabet letters. So each

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Speaker 2: week there was a different letter. So I got her

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Speaker 2: scrap booking, so she would go through magazines and find

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Speaker 2: pictures of words that started with that letter. She loved

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Speaker 2: filling them up. And then we would when we would cook,

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Speaker 2: we would cook with the letters, and just everything we

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Speaker 2: did was about that specific letter.

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Speaker 1: As they get older, obviously you don't get to have well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you can still have a lot of creativity,

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Speaker 1: but the assignments become a little bit more academically oriented. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but you can still be creative, you can still have fun.

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Speaker 1: And by then they're used to working at home and

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Speaker 1: getting the job done. Now, this is the part where

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Speaker 1: we take a quick break. And at this point I

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Speaker 1: always say what's coming up after the break is a

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Speaker 1: hook but you don't know, or a tease but I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

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Speaker 1: So after the break a couple more things that will

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Speaker 1: help any parent considering homeschooling their child. That's a bit

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Speaker 1: where you sort.

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Speaker 2: Of do the hook, Oh you want me to okay?

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Speaker 1: Well, the tease you don't give it all away, you

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Speaker 1: just tease it.

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Speaker 2: So we're going to talk about community matters and we're

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Speaker 2: also going to talk about trying new things.

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Speaker 1: Stay with this, We're back into the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 1: Another tricky question, as per normal on its Tuesday, we

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Speaker 1: answer your tricky questions. Today, Lisa from the Central Coast

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Speaker 1: wants to know if I start homeschooling my child this year,

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Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? Kylie, You've got four

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Speaker 1: things for us. We've covered off the first two.

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Speaker 2: What's next Community matters connecting with us the homeschooling families

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Speaker 2: is such an integral part to the positive experience that

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Speaker 2: you will have as a family.

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Speaker 1: And great news there are more people doing it than

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Speaker 1: ever before, so it's easier and easier to find people

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Speaker 1: who are your people doing this.

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Speaker 2: So I learned this the hard way after Emily's probably

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Speaker 2: first half of the year. She'd been working with a

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Speaker 2: small group and they had been catching up one to

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Speaker 2: two times a week, and she was really enjoying it.

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Speaker 2: But it got a bit tedious in that they were

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Speaker 2: doing the same things, same activities, over and over again,

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Speaker 2: and we were going on a holiday. So I pulled

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Speaker 2: her out for the holiday period, and when we came back,

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Speaker 2: she didn't ask me about the group, and so I

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Speaker 2: kind of looked at and I was like, Oh, it's

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Speaker 2: costing me a lot of money to send her, and

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Speaker 2: I think that we might just see how we go

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Speaker 2: without it. We probably did about six to eight weeks

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Speaker 2: without a group, and at that point that meant she

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Speaker 2: was not doing any social activities at all. And one

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Speaker 2: day we had the most just the biggest emotional meltdown

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Speaker 2: that she'd had all year, and she begged me to

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Speaker 2: send her back to school. And I was like, where

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Speaker 2: is this coming from? And so I sat down with

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Speaker 2: her and I said, I am really happy to talk

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Speaker 2: to talk to you about going back to school, if

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Speaker 2: that's what it is. I said, but can we just

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Speaker 2: kind of look at this a little bit more? Can

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Speaker 2: we explore this a bit more. I said, is it

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Speaker 2: school that you miss? Is it teachers and sitting at

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Speaker 2: your desk and writing, or is it your friends? And

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Speaker 2: she just solved, She said, I just missed my friends.

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Speaker 2: I just missed my friends. And so I realized really

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Speaker 2: quickly that I needed to find help and fast. And

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Speaker 2: so I did what I think anyone would do in

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Speaker 2: my situation, and I stalked Facebook and I put out

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Speaker 2: an sos into the universe of homeschooling families and said,

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Speaker 2: we're desperate, we need a group. And within maybe I

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Speaker 2: don't know, ten or fifteen minutes, I had three different

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Speaker 2: mums tell me about group that was three minutes from

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Speaker 2: our house and they met once a week. That has

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Speaker 2: been the biggest lifeline of Emily's schooling experience over the.

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Speaker 1: Last eight ten months. All the besties are there. She

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Speaker 1: she loves being with those people, and it's branched into

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Speaker 1: other activities, other relationships like it's been. Once you find

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Speaker 1: the group, it's easy.

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Speaker 2: And the great thing about having homeschooling relationships is you're

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Speaker 2: doing life similar So even though your homeschooling day will

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Speaker 2: look different, they're available during the day. Whereas she was

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Speaker 2: trying to fit into her schooling friends. Her old school

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Speaker 2: friends and their lifestyles didn't fit with her.

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Speaker 1: Available nine to three, they had their extracurriculums in.

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Speaker 2: The afternoon, and it was just really hard.

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Speaker 1: So what's the last one.

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Speaker 2: The last one is being open to trying something new. So,

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Speaker 2: like I shared at the beginning, I had this kind

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Speaker 2: of conceived idea, this perception of what homeschooling was going

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Speaker 2: to look like. And essentially I was bringing school like

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Speaker 2: the classroom into my dining room. And it didn't work.

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Speaker 2: It didn't work on any level. Emily hated me, she

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Speaker 2: didn't want to learn at all, and I was miserable.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to be doing this and I didn't

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Speaker 2: want to be fighting with her all the time. But

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Speaker 2: I knew that her being home was the right decision.

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Speaker 2: But I also was desperate to send her back to

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Speaker 2: school in those moments because it was just so hard.

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Speaker 2: So being open to trying new things, open to talking

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Speaker 2: with other families, seeing what's working for them, what's not

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Speaker 2: working for them. It might mean that I don't think

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Speaker 2: in Lisa's situation, she's going to have this, But for

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Speaker 2: families that have already been in the school system, it

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Speaker 2: might mean literally having a term of no learning. Were

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Speaker 2: so structured.

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Speaker 1: Did we do six months? I think we did two

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Speaker 1: terms where we pretty much said to our two homeschool kids,

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Speaker 1: it's just a six month holiday.

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Speaker 2: Well it wasn't. It wasn't quite six months. We took

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Speaker 2: them out at the end of term three, so they

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Speaker 2: had all of time and then to be holiday break.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so we gave them like, what's that like ten

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Speaker 1: sixteen weeks something like that. So it was four months

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Speaker 1: and then when we hit the ground the next year,

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Speaker 1: they were ready. They were like, yeah, we can get

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Speaker 1: into this, and it made a massive difference. Homeschooling is

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Speaker 1: just for us something that we're so glad that we've done.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if we'll ever send her back

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Speaker 1: to school. I mean, every now and again we're like,

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Speaker 1: we really need a break. It would be good to

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Speaker 1: have her at school.

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Speaker 2: From that, I'm not gonna lie, there are definitely days

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Speaker 2: where I wish that I had my days to myself. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but knowing what your why is, knowing why you're doing

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Speaker 2: it is so important because when those days do get hard,

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Speaker 2: you go back to that and you remind yourself of why.

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Speaker 1: Victor Frankel, who wrote men Search for Meaning said, and

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Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing, he who has a why can live with

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Speaker 1: any how. In other words, you can push through whatever

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Speaker 1: you've got to push through if you've got a really

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Speaker 1: good purpose driving. And I feel like that's why we

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Speaker 1: do what we do, at least with that particular daughter. Hey,

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Speaker 1: thanks for the question. If you have a tricky question

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Speaker 1: that you'd like to throw, Oh, sorry before I do that, Hey, Kylie,

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Speaker 1: thanks for running the podcast for me. I still feel

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Speaker 1: like I talked too much. I have to give you

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Speaker 1: another one and try and stay quieter.

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Speaker 2: We'll give it a go another day.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Okay, send you questions to Kylie tricky questions via

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Speaker 1: podcasts at Happy Families dot com dot au. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to email or send a voice note, or use

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Speaker 1: the super simple system at Happy families dot com dot

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Speaker 1: you just like Lisa did from the beach on the

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Speaker 1: Central Coast and let us know what it is that

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Speaker 1: you'd like us to help out with. The Happy Families

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Speaker 1: podcast is as always, produced by the wonderful Justin Ruland

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Speaker 1: from Bridge Media, with additional support and admin from Mimhammond's

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Speaker 1: If you want more info. To make you family happier,

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Speaker 1: you can check out happy families dot com dot Au

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Speaker 1: where we have an amazing course to help families raising

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Speaker 1: ADHD kids. It's all there at happy families dot com

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Speaker 1: dot au. Talk to you tomorrow