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Speaker 1: Get a I'm Laala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,

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Speaker 1: and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure

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Speaker 1: because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,

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Speaker 1: grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview

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Speaker 1: a different guest about their highs as well as their lows,

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Speaker 1: all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fails. Hello,

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Speaker 1: dear gangles, Now I am bringing you an episode from

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Speaker 1: the archives. One of my first ever fearlessly failing guests.

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Speaker 1: It is none other than Lisal Jones, four time Olympian,

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Speaker 1: nine Olympic medals, author, incredible book called Body Lengths, also

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Speaker 1: one of the hosters at the right word for It

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Speaker 1: of Radio Triple M Rush Hour Plus. On top of that,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure he's don't agree a full degree in psychology.

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Speaker 1: Lisa and I when we both lived in Sydney used

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Speaker 1: to go to events together and.

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Speaker 2: We'd beat We're both virgos. We'd beat each other's like.

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Speaker 1: Wingmen essentially a wing women for events because we'd both

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, this is going to be a full on,

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Speaker 1: but we'd be able to have a cackle about it

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Speaker 1: together and just like have a laugh and laugh at

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Speaker 1: ourselves and have the best time. So I wanted to

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Speaker 1: bring this episode out again because a lot of you

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Speaker 1: missed it because it was one of the first episodes

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Speaker 1: I think it was like, came out in the first

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Speaker 1: couple of months of Feels Failing, Launch so Launching. So

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Speaker 1: this was recorded three years ago, but to this day

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Speaker 1: it is still hands down one of my favorite episodes ever.

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Speaker 2: Trigger warning here as well.

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Speaker 1: We talk a lot about body image, we talk a

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Speaker 1: lot about mental health, and there is suicide talking here

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Speaker 1: as well. Not talk, but like Lisel opens up loads

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Speaker 1: about her I think she really opens up in depth

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Speaker 1: and quite graphically about an experience that she had at

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Speaker 1: a really dark moment of her life. Lisel to this

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Speaker 1: day is always such a sweet soul that even checks

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Speaker 1: in on me when even though we don't live anywhere

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Speaker 1: near each other nowadays. And I'm so proud of you,

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Speaker 1: Chicken that's our nickname for each other as you're here,

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Speaker 1: and I just it's an honor to have you back

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, albeit a rerun.

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Speaker 2: I just hope you.

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Speaker 1: Guys get to enjoy the magic that is Lisel Jones

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Speaker 1: today in this episode. Now Your Monday Epps It'll either

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Speaker 1: be this like a favorite special that will come out,

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Speaker 1: or I've got three people that I'm just trying to

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Speaker 1: lock down in America, but it's tricky to get them

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Speaker 1: locked down.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of.

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Speaker 1: Drama going on in LA at the moment, with not

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Speaker 1: just the Fighter's Stripe but also SAG Strike. Lot's going

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Speaker 1: on in LA, which means a lot of things are

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Speaker 1: up in the air. But I am so honored and

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Speaker 1: proud and excited to bring you this episode with the

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Speaker 1: beautiful Lisel Jones.

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Speaker 3: Okay, we're already laughing.

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Speaker 1: This is like bucket list moment because when this podcast existed,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I've got to get chicken on.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, who is chicken? My name is Lethal Jones. I'm

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Speaker 3: a full time Olympian nine time.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, let's talk about some of

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Speaker 1: that stuff because that's what Australia knows you as the

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Speaker 1: Golden Girl, Lethal Lisel. I heard it commentator say so

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Speaker 1: last night, Dad and I were watching all these old

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Speaker 1: YouTube not old, but YouTube clips from like would it

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Speaker 1: be the two thousand qualifiers?

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Speaker 3: Probably I would have been fourteen? Baby, did you paint

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Speaker 3: your nail?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Well I had to just tacked myself somehow because I

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Speaker 3: was only fourteen, so I was super nervous and everyone's

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Speaker 3: watching at home, so I'll destroying myself and like I so.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe I'm about to admit this to you.

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Speaker 1: I was watching that video and I started crying because

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Speaker 1: I was like, someone puts so much of their life

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Speaker 1: into and also I.

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Speaker 2: Am invested in you.

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Speaker 1: You and I have known each other for quite a

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Speaker 1: while now, and we've.

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Speaker 3: Got some pretty fun memories. We've got we really good memories.

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Speaker 3: And that's the problem. I think when we catch up,

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Speaker 3: there's just too much going on for us to we

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Speaker 3: get We.

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Speaker 1: Be gossiping for like the last half an hour, and

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Speaker 1: we're like, let's put the mics on because and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, this thing. We'll save it for the party.

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Speaker 1: So I hope you guys get to enjoy this and

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Speaker 1: get to hear someone that there's such a true friendship

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Speaker 1: here that's years old.

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Speaker 3: Many many years. And I think we will have to

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Speaker 3: apologize now because we will talk over each other. So

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Speaker 3: I do apologize if I lolla off, and I'm sure, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's just it will be a very fast paced conversation.

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Speaker 3: So you will have to keep up, but we will

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Speaker 3: not respect each other's end of sentences.

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Speaker 2: We're also both Virgos, very.

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Speaker 3: Much so and fully in Virgo.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all your signs all Virgo berger Berg.

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure. I haven't had my chart read, but

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure.

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Speaker 1: So I'm full Virgo and my boyfriend Matt is full Virgo.

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Speaker 2: But I've got one.

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Speaker 1: One part of my sign is in Scorpio, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that makes such a fire. That makes a lot of

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Speaker 1: sense to me, absolutely so inside I like it, but

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Speaker 1: it would.

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Speaker 3: Be interesting to see what what my is it? Venus rising, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so it's got to be when you're born, so they

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Speaker 3: do like every planet and also like your moon rising sunrising,

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Speaker 3: so your sun rising is Virgo. That's right.

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Speaker 1: And then there's anyway, there's so much we'll find. We

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Speaker 1: could go into astrologer. Feel free to write in yes,

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Speaker 1: if you would like to contact us. I would like

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Speaker 1: my chart red please so I can actually see what's

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Speaker 1: going on. But funny enough, and this is a total

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Speaker 1: rabbit hole. We started off at Sydney two thousand hour

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Speaker 1: in astrology, which we both love, but just.

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Speaker 3: Watching I've really obsessed with YouTube. Tarot readings. Really lately,

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Speaker 3: I've done some clips I will there's been a Virgo season,

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Speaker 3: well it's Libra season as we're recording in October now

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Speaker 3: October it is Libra season. But for us Virgos it

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Speaker 3: is very good. It's very very good. We're really in

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Speaker 3: alignments right now. We're very go getters achieving our dreams,

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Speaker 3: which you're doing.

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Speaker 2: Selling, you're getting there. I think that's one thing about

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Speaker 2: being a Virgo.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's one thing that I've loved

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Speaker 1: about you, even though people would see this negative. We

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Speaker 1: are quite self critical, but in a quite a productive way.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I think mine's not very productive. So I think

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Speaker 3: confidence is a big thing, and probably outwardly I look

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Speaker 3: very confident, but I don't feel very confident sometimes.

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Speaker 1: So and let's talk about that. So, first of all,

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Speaker 1: on the confidence thing, I think the thing with you

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Speaker 1: is you're honest and you're very real and you're very

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Speaker 1: What you see is what you get.

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Speaker 2: No bullshit here.

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Speaker 1: Yep, which yes, because you're the same. But tell me

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Speaker 1: about the confidence. Is that something we would say that

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Speaker 1: you're in now or would you say that's something that

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Speaker 1: stemmed from childhood?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I think I've always had that. I think that's

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Speaker 3: a thing where I've always So we work with some

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Speaker 3: emerging athletes, so who are looking at Olympics next year.

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Speaker 3: And the story that I always tell is that I

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Speaker 3: used to sit in the marshaling area and would look

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Speaker 3: at my competitors and so one girl that I used

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Speaker 3: to compete against, Amanda Beard. If you ever get the chance,

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Speaker 3: google her. She was a playboy model. She was She

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Speaker 3: was the most amazing person. She had big presence. If

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Speaker 3: Amanda Beard walked in the room, you knew about it.

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Speaker 3: It was big energy, big and she was American and

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Speaker 3: she was brash and she had the big, you know,

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Speaker 3: American smile that they have. And it took me a

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Speaker 3: really long time to get over my fear of her.

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Speaker 3: She would walk into the marshaling area, I thought, that's it,

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Speaker 3: I'm done here. You know, she's already won it. And

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Speaker 3: so but I never I don't know that throughout my

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Speaker 3: entire career, I ever found that confidence that was genuine

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Speaker 3: that I believed that I was capable and I wasn't

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Speaker 3: just a kid from Queensland that grew up on a

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Speaker 3: property and had horses and dogs and things like that

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Speaker 3: was capable of winning gold. So it's really funny how

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Speaker 3: you can be just that little kid inside. But the

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Speaker 3: funny thing is what I've worked out after a very

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Speaker 3: long time and after I was retired. Everyone has her

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Speaker 3: own issues. Oh, everyone's going through the same stuff. Whether

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Speaker 3: it's issues with parents, you know, relationships with your parents,

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Speaker 3: or things going on at home, or boyfriends or or

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Speaker 3: confidence issues or self esteem or whatever. It is. Everyone's

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Speaker 3: the same totally.

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Speaker 1: And I think you and I have always shared that

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Speaker 1: about about stuff together. I guess we will be like, come,

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Speaker 1: I have a really shit time about this and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I totally stay. And you helped me through a lot

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Speaker 1: of things in my life and my career as well,

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Speaker 1: so to your career and to the confidencing. And that's

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Speaker 1: why I'm so glad you brought up confidence because I

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Speaker 1: watched an interview with you last night and it would

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Speaker 1: have been London Olympics. You would have been twenty seven.

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Speaker 3: Would you have been there? Yes? Yeah, retired when I

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Speaker 3: was twenty seven, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Which is when the fat shaming happens. And I watched

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Speaker 1: this interview and you were like, yeah, I'm not on

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Speaker 1: a holiday guys like you were, So you spoke to

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Speaker 1: media and they were like, how do you feel about

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Speaker 1: this article which they've plastered fat shaming, acting like that

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Speaker 1: you were on a holiday, you weren't taught and trim

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Speaker 1: enough to be an Olympian basically and ripped you to

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Speaker 1: shreds and you and these mics at a state you

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Speaker 1: and you're also there to compete for your country, and

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Speaker 1: the way that you as a twenty seven year old,

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Speaker 1: you were like, guys, you have to work so bloody

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Speaker 1: hard to be on this team.

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Speaker 2: I've taken no shortcuts. You've been You were really to me.

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Speaker 1: You came across it's so confident and like slaying this

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Speaker 1: bullshit that was going on. But it's interesting that you

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Speaker 1: came across that way. You may not have been.

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Speaker 3: Feeling that way though probably at that point might have

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Speaker 3: been the time that I really did feel strongly about

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Speaker 3: what I was feeling. And at the first instance when

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Speaker 3: I found out about it, which was via my roommate

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Speaker 3: Mel Schlanger who Mel right now she's married, she told

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Speaker 3: me about it. So I wasn't on Twitter at the time,

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Speaker 3: but I heard about it, and so having to face

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Speaker 3: this was a moment where I thought I'm going to

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Speaker 3: have to muster every bit of courage that I have

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Speaker 3: just to walk out and pull deck. And I have

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Speaker 3: since seen photos of that time, and I was carrying

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Speaker 3: my gearbag, which is my fins and kitboard and all

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Speaker 3: those sorts of things in front of my stomach because

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Speaker 3: I was so self conscious about it, and I could

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Speaker 3: hear cameras clicking, I could hear them in the stands,

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Speaker 3: I could hear everyone talking and whispering, and I just, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was just the most excruciating time. So I found

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Speaker 3: all the courage to get that together, and I was

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Speaker 3: very vocal about it because it struck something in me

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Speaker 3: that I was really passionate about for other people. So

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Speaker 3: I think there has been times in your life, in

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Speaker 3: my life, and so many women and some men across

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Speaker 3: the world that they have been attacked for what they

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Speaker 3: look like or I don't know, maybe that they are

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Speaker 3: not up to the standard of competition. And I just

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Speaker 3: felt so strongly on behalf of those people, I thought,

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Speaker 3: this is wrong, Yeah, how do you? And it came

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Speaker 3: from a male journalist, some of who had never worked

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Speaker 3: in swimming, and not a sports well a sports journalist,

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Speaker 3: but rugby league. Yeah, not swimming. We had so many

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Speaker 3: great journalists that I trusted and loved, Nicole Jeffreys, Wayne Smith,

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Speaker 3: We had really great journalists and it wasn't them. It

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Speaker 3: was someone else that's came in and permeated that trust

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Speaker 3: that you worked so hard for. I had been on

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Speaker 3: the Australian team for twelve years at this point, I

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Speaker 3: had built so many great relationships and someone came in

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Speaker 3: from left of center and damaged all of that so

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Speaker 3: with really hurtful comments. It felt really personal at the time, and.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely what can I ask just to backtrack? When

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Speaker 1: your mate told you, Meal was like, this has happened?

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Speaker 2: What did she say?

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Speaker 3: She said it in the nicest possible way. She's another virgo,

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Speaker 3: she's her birthday's a day after mine, and she said, look,

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Speaker 3: there's something out there you need to know about it.

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Speaker 3: It is going to affect you. But just so you know,

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Speaker 3: ninety nine percent of people are supporting you and backing.

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Speaker 3: I thought, this is bad. What has happened. It's huge.

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Speaker 3: It was really big. And I just remember because she

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Speaker 3: was on her phone quite a lot that morning and

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Speaker 3: I didn't know what she was doing. I just thought

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Speaker 3: she was awaken, not sleeping very well, and So when

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Speaker 3: she said that to me, my heart just sank and

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Speaker 3: I thought, what has happened. I don't know how to

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Speaker 3: deal with this. I don't know what's going on. So

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Speaker 3: she said it in the nicest possible way, but brutal

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Speaker 3: information to share with a friend who's your teammate and

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Speaker 3: confidante and friend on the team, and she had to

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Speaker 3: share that with me. So that was, I'm assuming, very

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Speaker 3: hard for her to give.

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Speaker 1: Also, can I just say, I've seen these photos. They're

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Speaker 1: not bad photos, like they're getting you like bent over

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Speaker 1: in the most unflat like you. To me, you look

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Speaker 1: very fit. Yeah, look like a fit athlete.

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Speaker 3: Well be honest, I was not my fittest toture. We

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Speaker 3: go through changes, But what the big thing was twelve

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Speaker 3: months earlier I was put on antidepressants. So I was

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Speaker 3: dealing with the fact that I had not only survived

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Speaker 3: thinking about trigger warning here, but taking my own life

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Speaker 3: and was in this place of if I don't have

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Speaker 3: as swimming, who am I? So big? Identity christ totally

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Speaker 3: big broke my foundation basically this identity stuff. So I'm

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Speaker 3: going through really big issues twelve months earlier.

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Speaker 1: But also antidepressants make you put weight on it.

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Speaker 3: But that is why effect, Why does that happen?

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Speaker 1: Was was it an SSRI like selective Serotypony might not

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Speaker 1: ever remember it was, but usually.

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Speaker 2: The side effect is weight gain.

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Speaker 1: And also when you're down, So when you're feeling down,

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Speaker 1: you your the body craves carbohydrate and serotonin.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to make it, Yeah, to make you feel good.

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Speaker 3: So sort of dumping those feel good hormones in your brain.

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Speaker 2: So common to put weight on.

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Speaker 1: They are literally a hand in.

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Speaker 3: Hand, that's right. And so I was definitely affected by that,

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Speaker 3: and so I was just proud that I was there

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Speaker 3: to start with. Absolutely, I had worked my ass off

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Speaker 3: to get there. I was definitely not on a holiday,

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Speaker 3: and I had earned my spot on the team. You

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Speaker 3: have to make it under a certain time. You have

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Speaker 3: to be first or second in Australia. So I had

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Speaker 3: earned my spot on the team. I once in my

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Speaker 3: fifth or six in my event, I can't remember what

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Speaker 3: it was, and I was on the medley relay team

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Speaker 3: which won silver. So you know it's I gained so

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Speaker 3: much strength from that time because I realized I worked

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Speaker 3: so hard just to just to even be on pool

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Speaker 3: deck was a big thing for me. And I still

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Speaker 3: won silver and in my pet event, my favorite event,

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Speaker 3: which is a medley relay. So yeah, it's I take

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Speaker 3: a lot of strength and courage because I had to

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Speaker 3: dig deep. That was soul searching stuff big time. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I have never and I hope i'd no. Actually,

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Speaker 3: I take that back. I don't hope that I never

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Speaker 3: go through that again because I think I learned so

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Speaker 3: much more about myself during that time than I ever

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Speaker 3: would have had the opportunity to had it not happen.

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Speaker 3: And also Whoopy Goldberg defended me.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know. I was like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, you made it.

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Speaker 2: What did she say?

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Speaker 3: She just said something. So the newspaper article came out,

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Speaker 3: which I thought was really bizarre for American TV. So

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Speaker 3: they had picked up on that and just saying, how

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Speaker 3: dare you criticize someone for the way that they look

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Speaker 3: at about the job that they do and things like that,

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Speaker 3: which were all true but really quick sniff at Bufett,

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Speaker 3: you know you've made it when we back to friends

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Speaker 3: to really cool.

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Speaker 1: So but also it's a it's a male's opinion as well.

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Speaker 1: There and I saw an interview where they got someone

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Speaker 1: to speak like another athlete to speak about you and

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Speaker 1: they someone drew a comparison to Ian Thorpe and said,

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Speaker 1: no one said anything when Ian Thorpe was a little

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Speaker 1: bit like out of shape one year, no one' said

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Speaker 1: a word.

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Speaker 3: And it's not your atypical. He doesn't look like Michael Phelps.

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Speaker 3: Michael Felps shredded. Yeah, he never looked like that. He

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Speaker 3: was a bigger man, big muscles, strong or swallen. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and fast doesn't matter. Do we compare Michael Phelps to

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Speaker 3: Ian Thorpe, Yeah, Michael Phelps is an incredible athlete and

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Speaker 3: he shredded, but they're both incredible athletes. What does it matter?

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Speaker 1: And it also makes me think like health is just

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Speaker 1: out the like and healthy messaging and all that, it's

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Speaker 1: just out the window. I wanted it, like, I know,

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Speaker 1: like fat shaming as it sucks. It's happened to me,

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Speaker 1: happened to me recently. Yeah, I was saying to you,

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Speaker 1: and like someone had DMed a photo of me to

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Speaker 1: a friend saying, yeah, she looks like she's put weight on,

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Speaker 1: but accidentally saying and saying where I'd put the weight

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Speaker 1: on in my body and all that crap. And I

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Speaker 1: wrote back, going this isn't meant for me, but it

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Speaker 1: is about me you're talking about. And then they said no, no,

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Speaker 1: it's someone else, and I said, well even worse.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, when you say things like that, the first thing

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Speaker 3: that comes to mind is judgment. I think there's just

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Speaker 3: so much judgment out there at the moment, and I

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Speaker 3: feel really sorry for those people because they must be

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Speaker 3: judging themselves so much.

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Speaker 2: I must self, Oh, you must.

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Speaker 3: Hate yourself so much to project your judgment onto other people.

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Speaker 3: And look, I've been in therapy a lot too, very

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Speaker 3: we're very pro therapy, so that is a very therapy

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Speaker 3: thing to say. And I'm studying psychology.

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Speaker 1: But I saw you say this one when you were

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Speaker 1: co hosting Studio ten, and you were like I you said, struck.

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Speaker 1: You were so clear about having a therapist also having

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Speaker 1: a sports therapist, like you were very and I think

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Speaker 1: you said, oh, I was on a call two days

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Speaker 1: ago with the therapists like you were, And I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. So many people see having a therapist

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Speaker 1: as there's something must be.

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Speaker 2: Wrong wrong with you whatever.

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Speaker 3: You know what, Yeah, I am, I'm mentally everywhere. We're

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Speaker 3: all a bloody mess.

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Speaker 1: I think anyone that has a career in media though,

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Speaker 1: or the limelight. You've got to have a little something

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Speaker 1: something going on.

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Speaker 3: You want to want to be in that position and

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Speaker 3: to be into the public eye. And and We've spoken

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Speaker 3: about this so many times, and I've heard it on

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Speaker 3: your podcast for because I've listened to all your episodes.

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Speaker 3: Of course I'm your biggest fan. But talking about just

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Speaker 3: ego and fake people.

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Speaker 1: Just, oh my god, you and I do we.

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Speaker 3: Call them dingos, which I love, but yeah, it's just well,

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Speaker 3: I mean, no judgment against dingos because I do love them,

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Speaker 3: but the actual dingos of people, and there's just so

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Speaker 3: many fake people out there and it's really hard to

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Speaker 3: weed through that.

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Speaker 1: And you and I would go to events together in

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Speaker 1: Sydney and be like, let's just get each other through this.

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Speaker 3: Please just hold my hand and leave together.

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Speaker 1: Walk in meills still can't.

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Speaker 3: I've got a broken foot at the moment. So yeah.

382
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 3: But anyway, so going back to judgment, it's when people

383
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Speaker 3: project that onto other people. I just think you must

384
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Speaker 3: be such a hurt human bent because what I sort

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Speaker 3: of think when if I watch something on TV, say,

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Speaker 3: for example, and someone might have chosen to maybe be

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Speaker 3: in a TV show a lot of people say, well,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, they must be broke, or they must

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Speaker 3: be so desperate to do that, or they must be

390
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Speaker 3: doing this, or they must be doing that. Why do

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Speaker 3: you care?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why does it matter?

393
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Speaker 3: Why are you judging them?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because there's something like are you jealous?

395
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Speaker 3: Are you jealous of what they're doing? Are you do

396
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 3: you feel insignificant? Do they trigger something in you? What

397
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 3: is it about what they're doing that bothers you so much?

398
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 3: So when someone else does something and I find myself

399
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Speaker 3: sitting there going, oh, oh, I don't know. I don't

400
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 3: even know what an example is, but someone does a

401
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,919
Speaker 3: TV show, is in the paper doing this or that

402
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 3: or saying this or that, and you think, oh, you

403
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 3: know this, Oh I can't believe they would say that.

404
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,120
Speaker 3: Oh you know. Then I look at myself and go, yeah,

405
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,399
Speaker 3: you just what's going on for you? And most of

406
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 3: the time it's jealousy. It's a big one. I just think, yeah,

407
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Speaker 3: you know what, I would have loved that. I would

408
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Speaker 3: have loved that contract, or I would have loved to

409
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Speaker 3: be on that TV show, or I would have loved

410
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Speaker 3: to have done that. So most of the time I've

411
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Speaker 3: got to check myself.

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Speaker 1: But how good that that's how you can see that

413
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Speaker 1: and feel that and see that within yourself like that

414
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Speaker 1: takes introspection? Is that the word I think? Yeah, being

415
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Speaker 1: able to go oh actually, what's in it? Yeah? One

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Speaker 1: last thing on the fat shaming, because I have had

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Speaker 1: it so recently. Have you had it since that stage

418
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Speaker 1: in London? Like, have you had any times where you're like,

419
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Speaker 1: why did someone just comment on my outfit?

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Speaker 2: Or like I've been told I'm too fat to e yellow?

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Speaker 3: I find probably not so openly like that on Instagram. Uh,

422
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Speaker 3: probably more my own self judgement more than anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I have my self judgment too. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I this is going to sound really strange, but when

425
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Speaker 3: you talk about diet culture, I don't know what it is,

426
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 3: but it triggers things in people. And when I have

427
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Speaker 3: said openly I would like to lose weight, I would

428
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 3: like to sit at seventy five kilos. That's where I

429
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 3: feel comfortable, I feel lean, I feel strong. It's really

430
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Speaker 3: funny how that triggers something in people because they all say, oh, well,

431
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Speaker 3: it's all about loving yourself exactly how you are. But

432
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Speaker 3: the weird thing is I have health issues. I have

433
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Speaker 3: PCs so I want my fertility to be good and

434
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Speaker 3: to be firing on all cylinders if I do want

435
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Speaker 3: to start a family. So there's a lot of other reasons.

436
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 3: I think people see the external thing and say, well,

437
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 3: it's not a number on scale. It isn't and I

438
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 3: completely agree with that. But it's about feeling good in

439
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 3: yourself totally, and I don't necessarily feel good in myself.

440
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,239
Speaker 1: And the other thing I would say on that is

441
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,400
Speaker 1: like you fucking do you? That's exactly what makes you

442
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: feel good. I know what I feel good at as well,

443
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 1: and people look at me and go, oh, no, but

444
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 1: you look you look great, and I'm like, thanks, But

445
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't feel it's about what. And I've learned that

446
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: because Joe and I learned from bringing out a weight

447
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 1: loss book. I'm always going to So I wrote a

448
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: diet book years ago, and that gives people they feel

449
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: like they can comment on my weight all the time.

450
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: And I figured out really quick, you're either too fat

451
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 1: for someone or too skinny for someone else, always at

452
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: any weight, at any size you are. And when you realize.

453
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,159
Speaker 2: If that, I'm doing it for me.

454
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: And I just said to you before we saw this podcast,

455
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: my therapist just last week said Lola, please never wear

456
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: yourself ever again. He's like, you are a fit girl.

457
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 1: You train hard, muscle ways more than fat. Stop looking

458
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: at the numbers and that was super hard to do.

459
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: It's so hard to so also for you though, with

460
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 1: the triggering thing. I've read your book, which I frigging

461
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: love people get around this book is it's a couple

462
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 1: of years old now.

463
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,719
Speaker 3: But it is a couple it'd still be out of fun.

464
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 3: I'm booked topeyous. Yes, it's good body lengths.

465
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 1: It's I kind of got put on my Instagram yesterday

466
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 1: and I'd to it again today. But it's so incredible,

467
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: and I me, being a dieting junkie, I went straight

468
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 1: to the what's the chapter called Starving to Swim?

469
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 3: Was?

470
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 2: It's the dieting chapter.

471
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you so that you'd have to weigh in

472
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,239
Speaker 1: certain times of the week and they would weigh like

473
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: if you put two hundred grams on. Well, this is

474
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: while you're training.

475
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, So this was at a time when we were

476
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 3: training at altitude. So what happens at altitude is the

477
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 3: body has to work ten times is hard to hearty

478
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: amount of work, So you might just have a really

479
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 3: easy session, just maybe a float and it will take

480
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 3: it will be so hard you can't breathe. Float so

481
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 3: just where you hop in the water and you don't

482
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 3: do much. Oh yes, so that's a float. There's also

483
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 3: a thing called porridge, which is fuller in a session

484
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 3: that you know the coach has put in and it's

485
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 3: just porridge. It's just to make up numbers. So there's

486
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 3: lots of terminology, but I just means you go to

487
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 3: the pool and.

488
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: You just float shell you don't do much.

489
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 3: But it's really hard at altitude, okay, And so most

490
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 3: of the time anyone who's done altitude training knows you

491
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 3: weight just drops off because you are breathing, you are

492
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 3: sucking in oxygen and you're breathing out so much carbon dioxide.

493
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 3: You just can't keep weight on. And for me, when

494
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 3: I was at Sierra Nevada in Spain, I was this

495
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 3: is the peak of my depression and anxiety, identity crisis,

496
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 3: foundation crisis. How old you have you been there?

497
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: This was just.

498
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 3: Before twenty twelve, so I probably would have been about

499
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 3: twenty five, twenty six maybe, And and so going through

500
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 3: really heavy stuff, my weight did not budge it didn't budge.

501
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 3: So we were doing weigh ins every morning, girls that

502
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: were similar age to me, similar physique to me, dropping

503
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 3: kilos left, right and center. Just every day kilos would

504
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 3: drop off and for me nothing, it just didn't budge.

505
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 3: So my body was working so hard, and because that

506
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 3: mind body connection is so huge, that emotional connection is

507
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 3: so strong, my body just held onto everything. It just said,

508
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,199
Speaker 3: I am protecting you here. I am not going to

509
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 3: let you lose any of those trauma. Yeah, my body

510
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,720
Speaker 3: and my mind was just playing tricks on me.

511
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: But it sounds like the way that you were treated

512
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: was pretty shit. Like I read about the like six

513
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: one twenty Can you explain that?

514
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 3: So that was the letters of the upper That didn't

515
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 3: happen to me directly, but it did. I did hear

516
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 3: these sort of words around, and not from the coaches

517
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 3: that I worked, but coaches externally. So they were the

518
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 3: sort of words that were thrown around about other athletes.

519
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 3: And it stood for letsie alphabet. So six is F,

520
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 3: A is one is a T is twenty so fat

521
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 3: and this is the sort of words that you were hearing.

522
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 3: It's getting much better in sport, Yeah, it's still so slow,

523
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 3: it's there's still written and this is damaging stuff. This

524
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 3: is big trauma to young adults that are growing up

525
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 3: in sports. So we've got to be really careful about

526
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: the way we speak to our athletes. And I was

527
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 3: talking to one of my best friend's husbands and he's

528
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 3: a swiming coach at the moment, and I was just

529
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 3: so incredibly proud of the words that he used, and

530
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 3: it was something about completely different but he reacted to

531
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 3: a situation to hearing about as swimmer's news that she

532
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 3: was going elsewhere, and he said, I held on to

533
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 3: that that I felt I didn't. I didn't handle that properly.

534
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 3: So I came back and apologized. So he's a forty

535
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 3: year old man apologizing to a young girl saying I'm

536
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 3: so sorry. I didn't handle that very well. Wow, And

537
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 3: I said, and you know it is, well, yeah, that

538
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 3: takes heart to say, courage to say, you know what,

539
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 3: I fucked up there and I really didn't handle that

540
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 3: properly and I'm so sorry.

541
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: Huge.

542
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 3: That gives you there's some good there's some really good

543
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 3: eggs out there really helping people and helping young athletes.

544
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 3: And I thought that is so big of you to

545
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 3: reflect on that situation to go I haven't reacted probably,

546
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 3: I am so sorry, huge, amazing, and we need more

547
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 3: good eggs like that.

548
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 1: And I think we need that not just in the

549
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: sports industry, but in every industry as well, everywhere.

550
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 2: I'm sure I remember you and.

551
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: I've shared stories, but we've been in meetings before where

552
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 1: we've been told about I've been told definitely about my

553
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: weight or to change a look, god, to not wear

554
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: a color, or to you know, and it's not okay

555
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 1: at all in any any situation.

556
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

557
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 1: I also read in that part of your book like

558
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 1: there was when you were dieting, and this is where

559
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: I can see. I like numbers and dieting can be triggered.

560
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 1: It triggering, especially if someone that's had to do it

561
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: at such a young age. So that's kind of like

562
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,880
Speaker 1: ingrained in your psyche. But like eating a whole protein

563
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 1: bar was too many calories?

564
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 3: Just half? Yeah?

565
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: Serious, like two protein bars a day if I'm like

566
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: on the yeah.

567
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 3: So, and we had dust finished three hours of training,

568
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 3: so two hours of swimming, an hour in the gym,

569
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 3: so pretty exhausted, but very much reduced to one or

570
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 3: half sorry half a protein bar. Which were They were

571
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 3: probably high calorie, but it was just half. So try

572
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 3: self control of half a protein bar. So yeah, it

573
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 3: was there's just so much control around food and what

574
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 3: you eat. And I've seen so many quotes that people

575
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 3: say athletes athletes train, and athletes train and refuel or something,

576
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 3: they don't diet in an exercise. I don't know that,

577
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 3: you know. I think an athletes diet diet is it's

578
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 3: incredibly strict because you have a goal that you need

579
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 3: to achieve and you need to be as lean as possible.

580
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 3: So but it does bring up a bit of if

581
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 3: you're a controlling person or you want to control the situation.

582
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: But also the brain needs so many calories to function properly.

583
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: Lubs and swimming newses.

584
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 2: The most amount of energy, does it not, it's one.

585
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 3: Of the supposedly, Yeah, because it's so cardiovascular and so long,

586
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 3: with two hours of cardiovascular so it's about it's more

587
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 3: than sitting on a bike two hours straight totally ten

588
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 3: times a week.

589
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: You need at like, don't it wasn't training like four

590
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 1: in the morning, Yeah, four five.

591
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 3: We had to be there at four twenty five because

592
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 3: if you weren't five minutes.

593
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: Earlier you were late. Yeah, that's why you're so punctual.

594
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 2: You've never been late ever one of our dates.

595
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 3: No, usually usually not if something's happened. That's why I'm late.

596
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 3: So usually i'm ten fifty awkwardly ten to fifteen minutes early.

597
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: I'm I got hit quite earlyer ten, I was like vlogging,

598
00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 1: I'm about to go upstairs chicken through. But I'm I

599
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: think that's also virgo, like doubling grains that into.

600
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 3: You do you know how much panic can I get

601
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 3: if I am running late or if I'm on time

602
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 3: panic I will text the person I'm sorry, I'm running

603
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 3: a couple of minutes late. I am outside just getting

604
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 3: a car park updating because it just so much anxiety.

605
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: But that's it's such a good. At acting school, they

606
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: pretend the class starts ten minutes earlier than what.

607
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 3: Is that's right?

608
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: I like it's it's a full of respect to.

609
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 3: Also, you've intrigued me with the acting school because I

610
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 3: have thought that I would like to do improv.

611
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Improv's harder, man, very hard.

612
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

613
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 3: For acting school, I just think is so interesting. I've

614
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 3: thought about singing lessons too. My nana was a good singer. Really, Yeah,

615
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: she was an opera singer.

616
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, she got a song with Matt.

617
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: There you go, Matt.

618
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 3: That would be sitting there with his headphone. So this

619
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 3: is Matt Lola's partner.

620
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: That's so far.

621
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 3: I would have to apologize in the Evans get the

622
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 3: auto tune ready to go, because I would have to

623
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 3: work at it very hard.

624
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: I think there's something to be said for definitely for acting,

625
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: though as far as just personal development. We speak on

626
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: television and in media and it's just great skill. Yeah, voice,

627
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: couse and the I mean you already speak so beautifully.

628
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 3: But on that topic, there is a great there's a

629
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 3: great book and I think it's called Voice or something,

630
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 3: and it goes on to say about how important the

631
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 3: voice is because it's communication. That is, your voice in

632
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 3: the world is so much bigger than you think it is.

633
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 3: And I'm sure you'd love that because you work on it.

634
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 3: But you should never criticize someone's singing voice. That's what

635
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 3: the book said, because that is there what was the

636
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 3: word like a vehicle to go from their heart out

637
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 3: their mouth. So you should need to sing lessons then

638
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 3: well imagine that, Oh amazing.

639
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: I reckon it'd be amazing.

640
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's really fascinating. Voice is so important, so important,

641
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 3: and everyone has a voice. Yeah, it's and even if

642
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 3: you don't vocally have a voice, you have a voice

643
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 3: inside of you. So big stuff. We're getting into deep

644
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 3: I love.

645
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 1: I'm actually glad that you're speaking about deep stuff because

646
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: I did want to go a little bit deep with you.

647
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 2: Which I know that you're comefor your You're so.

648
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: Open and it literally in the kind of.

649
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,479
Speaker 2: Like intro of your book, you talk which I've got

650
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: it here. By the way, I've.

651
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 1: Got to signed yes this book to my favorite chicken.

652
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: It says, by the way, my only chicken.

653
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: We said each others as well the prologue. Sorry, so

654
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: in the prologue, can I share a little bit from

655
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 1: I just want to say, is it Sarah and Nevada?

656
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 3: Might say, Sierra Nevada?

657
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: Thank you?

658
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 2: Cee Longe can't read peenus Sierra Nevada. Okay.

659
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 1: I spent yesterday afternoon on the bathroom floor of my

660
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: room at the Sierra Nevada High Performance Sports Center planning

661
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: to kill myself. Well the best of the Aussie swimming

662
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: team eight talked, kicked a ball or watched TV.

663
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 2: I thought about.

664
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: Slitting my wrists and my legs. Then there's another bit

665
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 1: like literally paragraph down and it's I'm going to do it.

666
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm so clear. I've saved up some sleeping tablets and

667
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: I will take them all. A knife from the kitchen will.

668
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 3: Do the rest.

669
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: I'll sit my wrists, slash my legs, make sure I

670
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: get the big veins. I've googled how much it would

671
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: cost to send a body bag back home from Spain.

672
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 1: It's fifteen thousand dollars or something like that. Pretty expensive,

673
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 1: but I've checked that there will be enough money left

674
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: for Mum to pay for it.

675
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 2: Far out.

676
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 1: First of all, yeah, you are so brave for even

677
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 1: sharing that.

678
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, big stuff.

679
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: That's number one. The fact you've shared that. I don't

680
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: know how many lives you've probably saved.

681
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I hope so because I want to take

682
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: the stigma away that some people think like that. And

683
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 3: that was a big, poignant moment in my life. So

684
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 3: this is what I'm talking about, identity crisis foundation crumbling.

685
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 3: If I'm not if I don't swim, who am I

686
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 3: as a person? I had not done any work on

687
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: me as a person outside of sport. I was always

688
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 3: leasel with the swimmer and I always will be, but

689
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 3: I'm okay with it now because I thought, if I'm

690
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 3: not swimming, what do I I have no qualifications, I

691
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 3: have no work experience. I neglected my friends throughout my

692
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 3: swimming career because I didn't have time to catch up

693
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 3: with them or to do anything. I haven't finished school,

694
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 3: so I thought, if I don't have this, what do

695
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 3: I do? And the problem was, at the time I

696
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 3: was as telling people that I want to retire next year,

697
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: everyone said to me. The first thing they ever said

698
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 3: to me was what are you going to do?

699
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 1: Pressure?

700
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 3: It's so much pressure, and it's really overwhelming. It's like

701
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 3: when kids leave school, when you leave high school and

702
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 3: everyone says to you, Oh, what do you want to do?

703
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 3: I want to study medicine. Oh so you want to

704
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: be a doctor. What do you want to be a surgeon?

705
00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 3: Do you want to be a specialist? You want to

706
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 3: It's so overwhelming you can't process it. And so it's

707
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 3: one step at a time. And I'm seven years retired

708
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 3: now it's twenty nineteen, and I still don't know what

709
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 3: I want to do.

710
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 1: So acting school scene lessons, I believe in you.

711
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 3: Joanna Griggs is on Home and Away once and played

712
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 3: a Swedish backpacker, so there is hope for me yet.

713
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 3: And yeah, so it's amazing. It's the best that. I

714
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 3: just love Joanna Greek. She's one of my fats.

715
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 2: When I could do a show together.

716
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 3: Yes, we brought it up once, didn't We like a

717
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:36,320
Speaker 3: cooking exercising Yeah, very creative but big stuff, really big things.

718
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: But I didn't. And when we were talking about writing

719
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 3: this book with my publisher, I said to Hian, I said,

720
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 3: there is one thing if I do write a book,

721
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 3: it is going to be watson All. I am going

722
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 3: to talk about the big stuff. She said, that's perfect.

723
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 3: That's exactly what we need, because I think there's a

724
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 3: lot of fairy flow stuff around with mental health. I

725
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 3: think we throw a lot of things out there, but

726
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 3: when you really get down to then gritty, some of

727
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,919
Speaker 3: that stuff does not look pretty. It's not nice. And

728
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 3: a lot of these people are having these thoughts because

729
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 3: they're in crisis and they're really at the bottom of

730
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 3: the barrel, and it's not something to take lightly. So

731
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 3: I'm all for medication. If you need to take medication

732
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 3: completely Okay, you just need to get onto it earlier.

733
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,760
Speaker 3: You need to be talking to people. I made that mistake.

734
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,760
Speaker 3: I didn't talk to anyone soon enough totally.

735
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 1: But it was almost like an act of the universe

736
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: kind of having your back where it was like, right

737
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 1: now is the time I'm going to do this. I

738
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 1: want to share that moment, like that moment where you

739
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 1: almost got bizarrely saved.

740
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,479
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's oh, yes, and my coach

741
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 3: walked in. Yes, absolutely, So I had gone not missing,

742
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 3: but I just went upstairs in my room. And that's

743
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 3: the other mistake that I was making was I was

744
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 3: isolating myself. And that's one of the big triggers for

745
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 3: me if I am spiraling into a bit of a

746
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 3: mental health thing. As I start becoming a recluse, I

747
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 3: become a bit hermit and retract from people, and I

748
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 3: don't message people. And so I had started this spiral

749
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 3: of just sitting in my room. And so my coach

750
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 3: Rowan at the time, walked in and just I don't

751
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 3: know who sent him. I don't know what happened, but

752
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 3: he came and walked in at that exact moment. So

753
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 3: I would hate to think if he walked in ten

754
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 3: minutes later or what would have happened. But he is

755
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 3: just I think, my guardian angel, and I just have

756
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 3: so much Yeah, I just have so much love for Rowan,

757
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 3: and not because he saved me at that moment, but

758
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 3: because of who he was as a person. Was just

759
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 3: so genuine, so much care, so much love and just

760
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: saw me as a person, not an Actually I.

761
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: Saw and I reckon it would have been here. I

762
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:39,720
Speaker 1: saw as an interview was he did he stick.

763
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 2: Up for you?

764
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: To media always always come back him literally going guys

765
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: like always you're totally forgetting what she's done for this country.

766
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: That's right.

767
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was really incredible to watch.

768
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 3: And he's one of those good eggs, one of those

769
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 3: good coaches that sees through all the bullshit that we

770
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 3: put out there, all the stories that we tell. He

771
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 3: sees the real person behind and he's willing to work

772
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 3: on it. And he works individually with each athlete to

773
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 3: find what motivates them, what triggers them. And I think

774
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 3: that's such a big person to not only look at

775
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 3: what other people's triggers are, but to actively work on

776
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 3: them and not treat people as a whole as a

777
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 3: big group and think everything's going to work for the

778
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 3: same So he just spent so much time and energy

779
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 3: on me that I could never repay him. So he

780
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 3: was and still is. Yeah, Rosa Gregor search for.

781
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 1: People that are listening because mental health is probably arguably

782
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 1: at its worst.

783
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would agree.

784
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: And what would you say with people that are listening

785
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: that are struggling on some level or have maybe had

786
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: a thought like that or like I'm lost. And because

787
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: when you said, like you isolate yourself, that's a natural reaction.

788
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 2: Even if I'm having.

789
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: Bad I'm like, get me home, get me Netflix and

790
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: a block of chocolate, which sounds harmless and it totally is.

791
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 1: But like if that that's self care when you do

792
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: it once. But when it becomes like you're constantly isolating yourself, Like,

793
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 1: what would you someone's like, I don't.

794
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 3: Know what you know? Get help early. Yeah, even if

795
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 3: it's a counselor. You don't have to go to a psychologist,

796
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 3: you don't have to go big. Just go to a

797
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 3: counselor just talk to someone. And that's where Lifeline and

798
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 3: Beyond Blue and all those things come in. Definitely, one

799
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 3: thing I would say is get off social media. That's

800
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 3: a big one. I start when I start spiraling, I

801
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 3: start getting on social media more, I start comparing, I

802
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 3: start struggling more. It makes me worse. So I have

803
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 3: to detach from social media. That's the big one for me.

804
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 3: And because I get stuck in this comparison spiral where

805
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 3: oh that person's so busy. Oh I'm feeling a little

806
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 3: bit lonely. But those people have got friends around them.

807
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 3: But you don't realize that those people might be feeling

808
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 3: lonely too. So yeah, it's I think this is my

809
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 3: this is what's the prescription for me. Get off social media.

810
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 3: It's big. I think you are flooded with highlight reel,

811
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 3: highlight reel. My life's amazing, Your life is shit. It's

812
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 3: all fake. It's not or No one's showing the videos

813
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 3: of them crying on the bathroom floor, are they. No

814
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,720
Speaker 3: one's showing that. So I've got to get off social media.

815
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 3: Then I've got to go talk to a therapist, whatever

816
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 3: that looks like for you.

817
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 1: I'm reading a book at the moment and he's an

818
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: acting teacher and he said the homework for week one

819
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 1: is no social media, and I was like what, And

820
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: he's like, don't miss read. This is like if you

821
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: need to use it for work, and it's part of

822
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: what you do, like get on there and do the work.

823
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 3: Schedule your posts.

824
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't look Yeah, he said absolutely, Like that's the

825
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: first thing.

826
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 3: What was the idea behind that?

827
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 2: So it's to connect with yourself.

828
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, so you're more connected, you're more present, definitely,

829
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 1: you don't want to be compared. Yeah, but it's also

830
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 1: to get clear.

831
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: Like it makes us foggy and muddy in the mind.

832
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can feel when I do it too much,

833
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: and I'll see like I'll be seeing my boyfriend. I'm like,

834
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 1: we're just sitting.

835
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 2: On that phone and we barely do it. But I'll

836
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 2: catch this pretty quick and I'll be like phone sound yeah,

837
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: and we just that's it.

838
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: Both flip our phones down, love it and reconnect, don't

839
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 1: even look at it, and we go away down the

840
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 1: coast talking really bad reception. So it barely I mean,

841
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 1: it kills me because I can't do an emails, but

842
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: just the email, like the work side of it. And

843
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 1: he's like, I love it. And we watched like because

844
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: we can't even do Netflix or anything like that, we'll

845
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 1: watch a movie with and chat in the ads.

846
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 3: Oh, I love that.

847
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 1: Chat in the ads of Harry Potter last week, and

848
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 1: I just I think it's to create. You can connect

849
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 1: back to yourself, you can connect to others. And the

850
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: whole reason why this podcast exists is because social media

851
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: celebrates success. It doesn't celebrate failure, failure.

852
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 3: Or when you're just plodding away and you feel like

853
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,759
Speaker 3: you get kicked in the face. I had that two

854
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,399
Speaker 3: weeks ago. I didn't post anything about it. I got

855
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 3: kicked in the face three times in a week for

856
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 3: three big things that I really really worked hard for

857
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 3: and I so badly wanted to happen, and they did

858
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 3: not happen for me. I didn't post about it. I

859
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 3: didn't show anyone. I didn't want anyone to know. And

860
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 3: I was crying for a week straight.

861
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,439
Speaker 2: Was this like gigs that fell through?

862
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 3: And they really aligned with all of my values, you know,

863
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 3: helping other people mental health and well being, working with athletes.

864
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 3: It was. It was the most perfect job for me,

865
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 3: and I didn't get it. And There's been a few

866
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 3: times where I've gone for a similar role and haven't

867
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 3: got it, and my self worth went through the floor.

868
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 3: I just felt you know, if I can't even get

869
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: a job like that, what am I good enough to do?

870
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 3: And what? You know? Am I going to have to

871
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 3: work at Cole's. Not that there's anything wrong with that,

872
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 3: but this was big for me because it aligned with

873
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,439
Speaker 3: all my values. So that was that flawed me that week.

874
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: But also understandably, you know what I mean, that's human

875
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 1: to feel shit when you lose something.

876
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 3: But also I didn't post about it. No, I did

877
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 3: not put that on Instagram where I was crying on

878
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 3: the floor for a week straight that I didn't get

879
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 3: a job that I thought I was going to do

880
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 3: amazing things.

881
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 1: In I even remember I get this the same thing.

882
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,280
Speaker 1: So last year I went for a really big auditions

883
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 1: a pilot and the show didn't get green lit, but

884
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: the other people I auditioned against all got gigs in

885
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: television a month later. And so I was like, oh

886
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: am I am I the Am I the shit one?

887
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 1: And I and my self talk was am I the

888
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:14,320
Speaker 1: fat one? Oh yeah? So like my negative self talk

889
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: was maybe I don't look enough like a model and

890
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 1: that's maybe why I didn't get it, and I and

891
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 1: like that's where I went, and I just think you

892
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 1: don't talk about the failure enough and it's actually it's

893
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 1: actually the it's like the meaty shit that actually makes

894
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 1: you who you are and it makes and yes, you

895
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: were so upset and you were on the flop, that

896
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: it's making space for something better.

897
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 2: And it's you don't know when you're in it though.

898
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 3: That trust is so hard. That's so hard to trust

899
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 3: that something is coming when you are rock bottom financially

900
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 3: as well and self worth and what's on the horizon.

901
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 3: That's when you have to dig deep and find something.

902
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: Can I ask a question, because if hit the name

903
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 1: on the head with the financial thing, do you sometimes

904
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,479
Speaker 1: feel like you are merely a dollar sign to someone

905
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 1: that you could potentially work with, Like if you get

906
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: a work gig comes up and they're like, you know,

907
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,800
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, they working with me because of my values?

908
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 1: Or are they working with me because I can get

909
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 1: them X amount? Sometimes I feel like I'm a dollar.

910
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 2: Sign, yeah, right, going to a gig.

911
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: And they're like, well, you know I wanted this thing

912
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 1: with you, and you know I got booked for a

913
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 1: gig recently and I was like, oh, I'm so alignment. Yes,

914
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: this is so great, And I'm like I really want

915
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 1: to talk about mental health and I want to talk

916
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: about failure or I want to talk about yoga or something,

917
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,839
Speaker 1: and they're like, no, you'll be making a recipe And

918
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, you need me to do and

919
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,479
Speaker 1: I get it. It's my qualification, it's my bread and butter.

920
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 1: And that's where I was like, you just need me

921
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 1: to be the nutritionis Lola, you don't really care too

922
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: much about my passions that have because we're changing humans

923
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: were not like this carbon copy. I'm going to rock

924
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: on stage and make raw vegan brownies every time I

925
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 1: go on or whatever it is, you know what I mean.

926
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,320
Speaker 1: Like that shit gets boring for me, and I don't

927
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: believe I'll write another rest just playing recipe book again

928
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: because it's not enough for me and there are plenty

929
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 1: of other people out there doing a better job than

930
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 1: I could do.

931
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I guess I sort of feel maybe I wouldn't.

932
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know whether people would choose me.

933
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,919
Speaker 3: Maybe it's because I haven't looked at it that way.

934
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm more jaded than you.

935
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:27,240
Speaker 3: No, but I think you've got more, you know, more prongs.

936
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 3: You know, you do so many things whereas I sort

937
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 3: of am sport but not really that entertainment side. So

938
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 3: I sort of feel maybe a dollar I do. I

939
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,959
Speaker 3: have trouble with comparison because there's a lot of people

940
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 3: in my position that want to do the same work

941
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 3: that's hard, and there's not many roles where I get

942
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 3: chosen because there's a lot of Giann Rudy is incredible.

943
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 3: She does some of the best work on TV. She's

944
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 3: bloody fantastic at commentary. She looks beautiful on TV. She

945
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 3: used to you, but I don't feel it, you know.

946
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 3: So I lose a lot of gigs because there's so

947
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 3: many people out there doing great things and there's not

948
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 3: many jobs. So I sort of feel with.

949
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 1: That role.

950
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 3: I don't know that I would look at it as

951
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:16,919
Speaker 3: a dollar sign.

952
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like I asked the question wrong.

953
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: Get I get what you're Yeah, I get so from

954
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 1: what I'm hearing from you, as like.

955
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 3: That's such a psychologist thing today, a reframing with I

956
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 3: love it.

957
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,720
Speaker 1: You can tell the people that have had therapy, can't

958
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 1: you know.

959
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 3: I'm like totally replay back what I'm hearing from you.

960
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is what I'm what I am

961
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: hearing is that there are like you said, is a

962
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 1: saturated industry. My industry is also saturated. So there are

963
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 1: a lot of people wanting very much, and there are

964
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 1: a lot of athletes like I watched the Grand Final

965
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: on the weekend, the AML Grand Final, and like the

966
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 1: X the ex good footy players that are good at

967
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: speaking on the sidelines, doing the commentary. And you know

968
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: it makes sense because it's your passion and you understand

969
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 1: the sport, you understand the way it works.

970
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 2: But not everyone is going to.

971
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 1: Get the job of working in television and commentary and speak.

972
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 2: I get I get that.

973
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:13,720
Speaker 1: But there's something you just said was like, I don't

974
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: feel like I am you know, And I think when

975
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 1: that changes, when you feel like, actually I'm fucking worth this. Yeah,

976
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: And I do look fucking good. I am healthy. I

977
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 1: am like Also, no one knows what's on the scale.

978
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: When you said to me, I feel best at seventy five,

979
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I.

980
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 2: Don't know how far she is from that goble. She

981
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:32,799
Speaker 2: feels great to me.

982
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it does come from internal. I know that

983
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,839
Speaker 3: one hundred percent because there have been times where I've

984
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 3: been maybe heavier and I just feel inside me. It

985
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 3: glows out. And you would know that because you go

986
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,359
Speaker 3: to events as well and you just feel it, right,

987
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 3: you just and you have good you're knowing having a

988
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 3: good day because people are attracted to you. Yeah, and

989
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 3: I don't mean that in a sexual way, but just

990
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 3: you attract people.

991
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: Good vibes come out, good vibes come out.

992
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:03,400
Speaker 3: And it's internal. So this external body and the muscles,

993
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 3: and you are not fat. You have fat. You are

994
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 3: not fat healthy, you have fat. Yeah, you need it

995
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 3: to survive. It gives you energy. So but it doesn't

996
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 3: matter what's sitting on the bones. It comes from inside. Oh,

997
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 3: that's so introspective. Is that the word we're looking? Yeah,

998
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 3: I know, it's just you how we've both done so

999
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 3: much therapy. Oh, dear, I'm studying. I'm just studying psychology.

1000
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 3: So I'll just use all I'll use all my sessions

1001
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 3: in training and yeah, but it's really interesting all that stuff.

1002
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:39,080
Speaker 3: Just Yeah, you've you've got to feel it inside, you

1003
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 3: really do. And you have to feel self love and

1004
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 3: self worth. It's it's big stuff. But it takes a

1005
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,919
Speaker 3: long time. I don't have it now. I don't feel

1006
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 3: it right now.

1007
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 2: And I can totally relate to that.

1008
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 1: I understand that, but I also I know you, not

1009
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 1: just as a friend, but I also do know you

1010
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 1: as somebody that can speak very clearly on television and

1011
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 1: read tallyprompters and feel confident and has great intonation.

1012
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 2: We did our holiday trip to Gaya together.

1013
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 3: The best one at If you ever need a retreat,

1014
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 3: go to Guy. It is the best.

1015
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: So I went recently with Matt and that where they

1016
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 1: were literally do you remember what you were here with.

1017
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 3: Them?

1018
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,239
Speaker 1: All phenomenal, But we had to film, not had to,

1019
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 1: but we filmed a bit of content for social media

1020
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: for our pages to kind of like thank guya. And

1021
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: I remember I was filming you and I was like,

1022
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: how the f she got such good intonation and media training?

1023
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: Like I've never had media training.

1024
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 3: I don't know have you had media training, not particularly,

1025
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 3: I've just learned as I went along.

1026
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,360
Speaker 2: You've got this beautiful intonation.

1027
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,359
Speaker 1: You know, you'll you know how to keep your name

1028
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 1: up high and then you'll dip when you need to dip.

1029
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: So intonation is kind of like, well you taint, It's

1030
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: like hey, and welcome to the show. Like it's almost

1031
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: there's a melody to the way you speak, and I

1032
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: was like, fuck, she's made for this. And so I

1033
00:49:55,160 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 1: think for you, like I believe wholeheartedly that you will

1034
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 1: end up doing something that you absolutely love.

1035
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 2: Probably in media, i'd say, yeah.

1036
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 3: Do you know when I felt amazing though, and this

1037
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 3: is where I have done my absolute best work, and

1038
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: I am so proud of the work I did. It

1039
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 3: was actually two thousand and four Commonwealth Games and I

1040
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 3: hosted with Matt White, who is the biggest legend in media,

1041
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 3: and I just don't think he's on TV enough because

1042
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 3: he's just he's so bloody good. He works with no teleprompt,

1043
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 3: no AUTOQ, he writes, no he studies for months before

1044
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,879
Speaker 3: he goes his information list just blows my mind. And

1045
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 3: that the it's on screen chemistry. But don't read into

1046
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 3: that as it's nothing.

1047
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 2: You just get on with it.

1048
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 3: Just get you. And I have chemistry now, absolutely respect

1049
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 3: it is and some people you gel with and some

1050
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 3: people you don't, and you can pick it a mile off.

1051
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 3: But Matt White and I clicked from the minute we

1052
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 3: got on set. And I have never ever in my

1053
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 3: life done better work, never, And I look back on

1054
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 3: that time and think it was a breeze. It was easy.

1055
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 3: I loved it. I was myself. I was cracking jokes,

1056
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 3: talking about really serious topics. Probably been borderline inappropriate for TV,

1057
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 3: but it was great. And I've never and I have

1058
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 3: never found work like that that just lit me up

1059
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 3: inside that I worked with fabulous people. I met one

1060
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 3: of my besties Laws on the trip. I know, I know,

1061
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,839
Speaker 3: And you've known Laws longer than I have. Well, yeah,

1062
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 3: you lived with her.

1063
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:35,239
Speaker 2: I did. I would have been eighteen when I loss.

1064
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: I moved in a long time with my boyfriend at

1065
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,240
Speaker 1: the time was living Laws. And my name is Lauren too,

1066
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 1: and so he had nicknamed for Laws, had nickname for me.

1067
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so and so she's become one of my great

1068
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 3: mates and we have so many mutual great mates. Steph.

1069
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 3: Prem shout out to you, because I've listened to your

1070
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 3: podcast already and it was really beautiful. She just blows

1071
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 3: my mind. But yeah, it's just you've got to find

1072
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 3: work that lights you up, and you don't find it often,

1073
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 3: I don't think.

1074
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: But that's the same I would say for real love

1075
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 1: and real, like real real, may you feel it like this?

1076
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 1: We haven't seen each other for ages and literally.

1077
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 3: It's been a eighteen I know, which makes me sad.

1078
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: But as I was walking out of the elevator, you

1079
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:22,720
Speaker 1: were filming on your Into Stories and I just looked

1080
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,319
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, miss you so much. It

1081
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: was like time had just snapped us back to whenever

1082
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,959
Speaker 1: we would lask giggling over something, Brady or something. There's

1083
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 1: something I i as a viewer that I consumed, a

1084
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: view that lit me up watching you and it was

1085
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: I'm a sleib, get me out of here.

1086
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 3: Yes, And do you know what is you're.

1087
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 2: Gonna because I don't think we've ever spoken about this.

1088
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: It was early. It was like early episode and at

1089
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 1: the very beginning there's you guys like trekking or walking

1090
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: and someone thinks, I say a snake. You're like, no, no, no,

1091
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:58,880
Speaker 1: that's just a legless lizard.

1092
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,720
Speaker 3: Do you remember this, I've seen a few legs.

1093
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing, that's.

1094
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 3: Bortleline we're keeping in that will not be ed to that.

1095
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: Do you do you remember this to the show.

1096
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 4: God, I'm so sorry, amazing, so red, I'm sweating, amazing, hilarious.

1097
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 3: Yes, I do remember that moment, but it's just about

1098
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:35,479
Speaker 3: keeping it real.

1099
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,320
Speaker 1: It's just like the aussy girl.

1100
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 3: I just don't get caught up in that stuff. And

1101
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 3: I used to. I grew up on three hundred acres,

1102
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 3: so we saw red belly black snakes. Yeah, nearly every day,

1103
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 3: carpet pythons. And my dog got bitten by red belly

1104
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 3: black snake. She's lived.

1105
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like super deadly they are to dogs.

1106
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 3: Yeah they're they're not totally venomous to humans, but yeah,

1107
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 3: it's yeah. So I just keep I just you know me,

1108
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 3: You're the same, keep it real, and I tend to

1109
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 3: not get caught up in big exciting moments.

1110
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 1: Usually.

1111
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 3: I wish I was one of those people that was

1112
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 3: easily excitable, but there's a lot of times where I'm not.

1113
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,919
Speaker 1: You just well, I think you just go with the flow,

1114
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 1: and that's what I I just you just keep it

1115
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: so frigging real. I remember I was doing a PT

1116
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,280
Speaker 1: session with you one day, so we had the same PT.

1117
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 3: Also not the thirty for thirty we did for our

1118
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 3: thirtieth birthday. Remember stan Adah shout out to you. He

1119
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:36,280
Speaker 3: made us do thirty reps of thirty exercises. We smashed

1120
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:36,920
Speaker 3: it both.

1121
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: Might I say we both mentioned before this Dan that

1122
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 1: we miss you because we miss you down the best

1123
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:43,400
Speaker 1: pt in the entire.

1124
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 3: Bloody moved away.

1125
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 1: Now I'll have to fill the la for him.

1126
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that sounds so luxurious. And I had to

1127
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:53,600
Speaker 3: visit my personal trainer lives.

1128
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 1: But he remember you and I were training together. He's like,

1129
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,359
Speaker 1: we're going to a joint session today. Girls come together.

1130
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: We're going to be of fun and we're going like

1131
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 1: round for round, so we would have to do the

1132
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 1: same thing. I remember like we're doing medicine ball slams

1133
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: and he'd given lil this like ginormous medicine ball and

1134
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:12,319
Speaker 1: I got given this tiny one.

1135
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 2: You're doing massive box jumps. I was doing like step.

1136
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 3: Ups like you were. You were boxing.

1137
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 2: I can't box jump.

1138
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 3: I think I was doing like little baby that's like

1139
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:22,439
Speaker 3: you still did them.

1140
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking he's looking made me go against

1141
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 1: an Olympic Australian gold medalist olympian here, I'm like what

1142
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, And you looked at me and I

1143
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:39,720
Speaker 1: was like smashed. You were pretty you train so hard.

1144
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: I think it's I've never seen someone on an air

1145
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 1: dine like you. Like you, just like because you're very strong,

1146
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 1: you're upper.

1147
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:52,919
Speaker 3: From Yeah, not great if you want to wear pretty dresses. Though.

1148
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 1: It was so impressive, and I remember you looked at

1149
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 1: me and I was like, I was literally in between

1150
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 1: in each round. I was just like yogi breeding, like

1151
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 1: literally trying to control my breath. And you looked at

1152
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,360
Speaker 1: me and you're like, mate, don't worry. You're like, I

1153
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,800
Speaker 1: feel like a t rex next to you. I was like, mate,

1154
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 1: are you joking? And I was like, you're the fittest,

1155
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 1: strongest tea Recks I've ever met, because I was like

1156
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 1: lose and he was writing our scores up on there. Remember,

1157
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:24,240
Speaker 1: and Dan's rule would be like to try and smash

1158
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 1: you to the point. I remember I say to him,

1159
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 1: whatever you do, I do not want to vomit. Okay,

1160
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want, but I don't want

1161
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 1: don't want to go up. Yeah, And he always he

1162
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: always would get me right and ever.

1163
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,839
Speaker 3: But that was the best. And do you know what,

1164
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:38,959
Speaker 3: and that's the best workout to ever do is feel

1165
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 3: like you're not working out because they were always so

1166
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 3: fun when we worked out together, they were so much fun.

1167
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:47,360
Speaker 1: Me go to protein after and get yes those healthy

1168
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 1: pancakes delicious.

1169
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 3: Oh, that was the life. That's when Sydney was good

1170
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 3: for me. I was not enjoying Sydney towards.

1171
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,359
Speaker 1: This is what I say about Sydney. And I love

1172
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 1: like there'll be Sidney listen and listeners on here. And

1173
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:00,880
Speaker 1: I do love Sydney. I live there for about six years.

1174
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 1: How long did you live there?

1175
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:04,240
Speaker 3: Five and a half, so we were five.

1176
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 2: Both there at similar times.

1177
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 1: And to be honest, you really took me under your

1178
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: wing because I say to people, Sydney has a lot

1179
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 1: more sharks than Melbourne and very hard in the sea.

1180
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 3: I mean human And there is Crenela Sharks in Sydney

1181
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 3: tool Rugby League.

1182
00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:24,600
Speaker 1: Are they good team?

1183
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 3: They are very good.

1184
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 2: It's good names, isn't it.

1185
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 3: It is good. Well I lived in Crenella, oh carrying bars.

1186
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 3: So yeah. But Sydney's hard. It's hard if you don't go,

1187
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,919
Speaker 3: you don't go to school there. It's very it's very

1188
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 3: I just find people. And I don't mean this in

1189
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,640
Speaker 3: a bad way, but yeah, it's just very hard to

1190
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 3: get into groups that give clicking.

1191
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 2: Often you get the vibe like someone wants something from me.

1192
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 2: But we're both we both.

1193
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: Love Melbourne, but also in Melbourne. To me, Sydney still

1194
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 1: feels fun like I'm going to work a few weeks

1195
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 1: and I just love it.

1196
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,240
Speaker 3: I do great work in Sydney. You do fantastic when

1197
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,919
Speaker 3: you go to Sydney, you do great recond Yes, yeah,

1198
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 3: I think Melbourne is heart and soul for you, but

1199
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 3: I think Sydney is your work. Yeah, you're one of

1200
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 3: those people that feels ignited when you go to Sydney.

1201
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 3: Melbourne is that for me? When I come to Melbourne,

1202
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 3: I love I love everything about Melbourne. So my friend

1203
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 3: came here, and the minute I found out he was

1204
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 3: coming here, he was working and studying. I sent him

1205
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,959
Speaker 3: a list of about twenty restaurants that he must see.

1206
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 1: So, oh, we've done a few restaurants.

1207
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 3: So Melbourne is what I know Melbourne is. And it's

1208
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 3: very gray today, it's very rainy. It's my favorite.

1209
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 1: If you're listening, you are more Melbourne than I am,

1210
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: very much. I get a bit over Melbourne.

1211
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, in and out of Melbourne all the time.

1212
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: But it's funny. Now I'm kind of like very at

1213
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 1: peace and very like, oh, this is a cool place

1214
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 1: to be right now.

1215
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 3: I'm homely.

1216
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm learning to be not attached. I think yoga is

1217
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 1: this is word in yoga. I hope I say it right,

1218
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 1: vak viach. It sounds like vigra. That's what I remember.

1219
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 3: Okay, it means to.

1220
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 2: Be non attached.

1221
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 1: And they say so we talk about tapas and abiasa.

1222
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: Abiasa means discipline. So you don't know that as an Olympian,

1223
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 1: you rock up, you got that plenty of that, got

1224
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 1: that black line every day. But it's also about being

1225
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: disciplined but having a no attachment to the out here.

1226
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 2: And I remember when I teaching.

1227
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:20,920
Speaker 1: I was like, I've got to talk to Lisa about this,

1228
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: because how the do you train not wanting a gold medal?

1229
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 1: You don't you don't you want the gold medal?

1230
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 3: Right, it's losing the expectation around it. And when I

1231
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 3: was sort of thinking in my mind about because this

1232
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 3: is fearlessly failing, failing fearlessly, I was thinking about failures,

1233
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 3: and I don't know that I've ever had many. There's

1234
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 3: only a couple I can think of. But the only

1235
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 3: failure in averted commas that comes from it is the expectation.

1236
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 3: I failed to meet my expectation of what I wanted

1237
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 3: to do, or I failed to meet other people's expectations,

1238
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 3: it actually had nothing to do with the winning gold,

1239
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 3: or it was failing to live up to expectations. But

1240
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 3: it's detaching from that, which is so hard. That that

1241
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,400
Speaker 3: gold medal is not you. It doesn't it is not

1242
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 3: it's not you, it's it's external from you. So but oh,

1243
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 3: that took me so long, and I don't know that

1244
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 3: I've ever really done it super well. But I don't.

1245
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 3: I think that's really hard to do.

1246
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 1: They say it's my Therapis says to me, like when

1247
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 1: I get caught up with So it's intrinsic valuestrinsic values.

1248
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 1: So gold medal would be extrinsic, so it would be

1249
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 1: a beautiful Ferrari car, So it'll be a Schnell bag.

1250
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:40,920
Speaker 3: Beautiful things, yes, wonderful thing. I can't afford them right now,

1251
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 3: but no same. But also those things don't make me happy,

1252
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 3: so you get them.

1253
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:48,919
Speaker 1: I do get a moment if I buy a bag,

1254
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 1: get like a little moment.

1255
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:51,200
Speaker 3: But then I don't.

1256
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 1: It doesn't last, no, very surely. Whereas intrinsic values are

1257
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 1: like how you feel in your heart and how some

1258
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,920
Speaker 1: one feels when then we of you and your value system,

1259
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 1: when your passionate, doing what you love you on purpose?

1260
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? What was the dama?

1261
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1262
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 2: Darma?

1263
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 3: Is that why? So I was going to ask you,

1264
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 3: is that why she was called Dharma? And Greg hopefully

1265
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 3: spelling it isn't a right spelling. That's what I thought.

1266
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 3: I thought, maybe look at that she was really Yogi,

1267
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 3: wasn't super.

1268
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's been a revamp of that show. I think,

1269
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 1: oh maybe there were. I don't know, I got it.

1270
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 1: I just got mixed up for two seconds in my

1271
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 1: head with Will and Grace. I don't know, similar same time,

1272
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 1: same time, same era, quickly Because I mean we could

1273
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: talk all day.

1274
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 2: I do.

1275
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 1: Want you to just touch on because I still I

1276
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: think it is still so poignant.

1277
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 2: For now bullying and I know you.

1278
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: Copped it, and I know a few people meant to

1279
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 1: be your I guess colleagues didn't have your back. That

1280
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 1: should have had your back. But you don't need to

1281
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: talk about specifics. But I mean, like being bullied a

1282
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 1: toxic environment.

1283
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 3: People go through that all the time, all the time,

1284
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 3: And it's really funny. I was never through school. I

1285
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 3: sailed through school. I was not popular, I was not unpopular.

1286
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 3: I just sort of sailed through so I never had

1287
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 3: experienced anything like this, but when I came across one

1288
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 3: person that I had to be on the same team

1289
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 3: as them, just I have never dealt with someone like

1290
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 3: that before in the way that and I won't mention

1291
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 3: their name, but I've never dealt with someone with those

1292
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 3: values that are very different to mine to butt up

1293
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:37,200
Speaker 3: against mine that are just very different. And that's okay.

1294
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 3: But it's taken me a long time to see that

1295
01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:42,760
Speaker 3: the values were just very different. We just didn't aligne

1296
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 3: didn't gel And I have a lot of forgiveness for

1297
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 3: that time because I think it came from a lot

1298
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 3: of pain. And this is what we're talking about earlier

1299
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,120
Speaker 3: in the podcast. I see someone who was in a

1300
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 3: lot of pain, that was struggling with a lot of

1301
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:58,160
Speaker 3: whether it be insecurity or self worth. I'm not making judgments.

1302
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 3: That's for them to make up, for them elves to

1303
01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 3: work through themselves. But it's I see someone in pain.

1304
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 3: And so originally, when this happened to me, I took

1305
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,360
Speaker 3: that really personally and thought it was a personal attack

1306
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 3: against me. This person didn't like me, this person liked

1307
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 3: nothing about me, would and would target me and use

1308
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 3: things against me. But now you have like a.

1309
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:20,160
Speaker 1: Little example of something I said.

1310
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 3: It might be little things. Now this sounds really insignificant

1311
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 3: now when I say it, but when I was training,

1312
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 3: it would be things like, oh, why does she get

1313
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 3: to go out to get out so early? You know,

1314
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 3: she's always complaining this. And now I thought, well, because

1315
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:34,200
Speaker 3: I've been around for twelve years, I've been doing this

1316
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:37,320
Speaker 3: for a very long time, and I don't earn my stripe.

1317
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:40,880
Speaker 3: Just little things or little picky things, or little narky

1318
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 3: things about the way I looked, or the way I dressed,

1319
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 3: or or just behind my back, and it just it

1320
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,400
Speaker 3: just grated me, and I confronted it head on. I said, look,

1321
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 3: what is your problem with me? Please? If you have

1322
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 3: a problem with me, just tell me. It's just and

1323
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 3: if you thought it, I thought it and just couldn't

1324
01:03:57,160 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 3: couldn't it couldn't front in that situation. So I just

1325
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 3: see a hurt person who was coming from a really

1326
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 3: insecure place projecting onto me, just almost projectile, vomiting all

1327
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 3: the things that they didn't like about themselves and was

1328
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 3: putting it on me. So this is all my therapy

1329
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 3: coming out. But a lot of people are going through

1330
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 3: this stuff they might work with someone like that. It

1331
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:25,480
Speaker 3: might be their partner might be romantic partner, it might

1332
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 3: be it's just yea narcissism in many different forms and facets.

1333
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 3: So but when we come from a place of hurt,

1334
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 3: that stuff is not pretty and we projected onto other

1335
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:40,400
Speaker 3: people and it's not nice. So I come from a

1336
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:43,880
Speaker 3: place of forgiveness. Never don't have to apologize to me.

1337
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 3: I'm not interested. I see it for what it truly is.

1338
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 3: So but that takes a lot of work because at

1339
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 3: the time it hurts, and it don't have that so much.

1340
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 1: You've now got the perspective to understand, oh, you're saying

1341
01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 1: something mean to me, something you're probably going through it. Yeah,

1342
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 1: But at the time you would have been like, what's it.

1343
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:08,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's the most I think pain I felt

1344
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 3: from someone who another female that I felt should have

1345
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 3: had my back, has probably used things against me, personal

1346
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:20,880
Speaker 3: things against me that I might have offered in forming

1347
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:23,919
Speaker 3: a friendship, and that's been used against me. So it's

1348
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 3: it hurts, It really does, and I didn't realize it

1349
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 3: at the time. I just became really defensive and angry,

1350
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 3: and I felt sorry for myself. But that's a natural totally.

1351
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:35,880
Speaker 2: This is like unpacking.

1352
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 1: But I think what's so cool is that you've said,

1353
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 1: like bullying effing.

1354
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 3: Sucks and it hurts. Yeah, it really hurts because you

1355
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 3: you have then become a target for their murky dark

1356
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:52,760
Speaker 3: energy and they're just spewing it on you and you

1357
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 3: just happen to be the target for it. So I

1358
01:05:55,240 --> 01:05:57,360
Speaker 3: just don't know that you can take that personally. At

1359
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 3: the time, you do take it personally, and but after

1360
01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:05,280
Speaker 3: a few years game perspective, and I just I never say,

1361
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,440
Speaker 3: I try not to say anything bad about that person

1362
01:06:08,520 --> 01:06:11,480
Speaker 3: because I just I don't think you fight fire with fire.

1363
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 3: It's not worth it. It's you've got to grow and

1364
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 3: your spiritual growth is the journey is different for everyone.

1365
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 3: Everyone's at different levels with their spiritual growth. And if

1366
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 3: you're just vibing on a different level, just let it be.

1367
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:26,760
Speaker 1: And I think what you've said that's so empowering is

1368
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 1: like if it does hurt, like it definitely does hurt,

1369
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:34,000
Speaker 1: but don't be afraid to get the help, like get

1370
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 1: a therapist so you can process that, so you can unpack.

1371
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:39,520
Speaker 3: That or acknowledge that it hurts, yes, and feel it,

1372
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:42,920
Speaker 3: feel it, feel every moment. And this is where a

1373
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 3: lot of people and myself included in the past, might

1374
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 3: have used wine, or some people use drugs or whatever

1375
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:50,200
Speaker 3: it is to.

1376
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:53,240
Speaker 2: Dull the whole family block of marvelous chocolate. Thank you

1377
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 2: very much.

1378
01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 3: And it does, yes, and it does. It works temporarily,

1379
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 3: but it's about self love and self care and reminding

1380
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,240
Speaker 3: yourself who you are as a person, that you are

1381
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 3: worthy and you are a good person. As long as

1382
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 3: you're doing the right things, you're not hurting anyone else

1383
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:14,480
Speaker 3: in the process. You've got to come back to that.

1384
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:16,520
Speaker 3: So we want deep. We went real deep.

1385
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:18,560
Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough.

1386
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:21,080
Speaker 3: Thanks Chicken, Thanks for having me.

1387
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:25,200
Speaker 1: Thank you Chicken. I think you've been very honest about

1388
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:28,520
Speaker 1: your failures and you've obviously gone deep, but also like

1389
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:34,640
Speaker 1: you've just been like real and your stuff is going

1390
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:38,160
Speaker 1: to one in power and help others to just know

1391
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 1: that it's okay to feel shit.

1392
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 3: Every now and you don't have to wallow in it.

1393
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:44,200
Speaker 3: You can talk to someone else. They're not going to

1394
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:45,960
Speaker 3: judge you. You can work through it. You can work

1395
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 3: through anything. And in your deepest, darkest moments and your

1396
01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 3: lowest times, dig deep, find what you've got there you

1397
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:53,960
Speaker 3: will learn so much more about yourself. It is a

1398
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 3: real privilege to go to the bottom of the deep

1399
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:58,280
Speaker 3: dark hole to see what's down there, and you'll realize

1400
01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:00,360
Speaker 3: it's not that scary you just got to face at

1401
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:03,240
Speaker 3: front on, but the nicest thing. And you just said

1402
01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 3: it then, being real it's the big thing. Honesty is

1403
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 3: a big thing for me. I wish more people were

1404
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:12,000
Speaker 3: honest about their journeys and showing the shit stuff, and

1405
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 3: it would be so nice because we'd all feel a

1406
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:17,880
Speaker 3: bit more normal and just thinking, oh, yeah, we're all normal,

1407
01:08:17,920 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 3: we're all doing the same stuff. We've all got our

1408
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 3: ound issues sorting the shit out they are and some

1409
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,760
Speaker 3: are just a little bit more public than others. And

1410
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:30,439
Speaker 3: their shit don't stink any different. It still stinks. And

1411
01:08:30,479 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 3: we're all full of shit. We're all full of our

1412
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:32,920
Speaker 3: own shit.

1413
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:35,840
Speaker 1: Well, we're all working through and navigating this weird thing

1414
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:36,679
Speaker 1: cold life.

1415
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:40,800
Speaker 3: And don't judge other people's journey. No, don't judge your

1416
01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:42,599
Speaker 3: own journey. Don't judge it, just.

1417
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:44,840
Speaker 2: Live it and I think, own who you are.

1418
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:50,080
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a big one, Like be honest with yourself.

1419
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:56,120
Speaker 1: And there's something so freeing about being really honest as well,

1420
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:57,840
Speaker 1: Like even for me, my stuff is food. I get

1421
01:08:57,840 --> 01:09:00,360
Speaker 1: triggered by food, like find getting stressed out, like I

1422
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:01,320
Speaker 1: either go one way or the.

1423
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:03,240
Speaker 3: Other emotional eating totally.

1424
01:09:03,439 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 1: And I had an event, actually had I had something

1425
01:09:06,640 --> 01:09:08,720
Speaker 1: coming up with Steph. Steph's taking me away for the

1426
01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 1: Steph Premier taking away for the Hot Springs and I

1427
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,200
Speaker 1: know I've got to shoot straight after it. And I

1428
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,000
Speaker 1: said to her, She's like, let's go to a big lunch.

1429
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 1: Are we going to go and go to Hot Springs?

1430
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:19,360
Speaker 1: And I was like, dude, I know what I'm like.

1431
01:09:19,439 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 1: Two days out of a shoot, I'm going to be scared.

1432
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:24,720
Speaker 1: And I said, can I organize a juice cleans And

1433
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 1: I'll organize one for you if you want to. But

1434
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:29,880
Speaker 1: I said, I just I'm not prepping my food and

1435
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 1: knowing what I'm eating and I'm eating out.

1436
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:32,960
Speaker 2: I said, that's a slippery slope for me.

1437
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,439
Speaker 1: And I've never had the balls to say, hey, I'll

1438
01:09:36,479 --> 01:09:38,240
Speaker 1: be funny about food the lead up to a shoot.

1439
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 1: And she was like, you know, Worris, Let's have a

1440
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:40,719
Speaker 1: really healthy day.

1441
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,960
Speaker 3: And see when you're honest, when.

1442
01:09:43,840 --> 01:09:50,960
Speaker 1: You're open and real, and you are so real Chicken no, never,

1443
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 1: And I just hope that you can see yourself through

1444
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:58,120
Speaker 1: my eyes sometimes when you're like lose a deal or

1445
01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:01,280
Speaker 1: something it doesn't go right, or something feels ikey, because

1446
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:04,240
Speaker 1: I can see the magic in you and I totally

1447
01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:07,080
Speaker 1: believe in you, and I know that even when you

1448
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:10,639
Speaker 1: feel like, uh, that thing didn't work out, or someone

1449
01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:12,639
Speaker 1: else or you're comparing someone else got a great gig,

1450
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:16,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, I would have loved that gig, you

1451
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,680
Speaker 1: are totally going to be You are totally going to

1452
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:19,000
Speaker 1: make it.

1453
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:20,320
Speaker 2: Yeah in whatever way that.

1454
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:22,120
Speaker 1: Looks like, Yeah, I don't.

1455
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,439
Speaker 2: Question that for one single second. You are the real deal.

1456
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:27,960
Speaker 3: And you know what I think we also, I know

1457
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:29,880
Speaker 3: we're wrapping up here, but this is probably one thing

1458
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 3: to leave it on. No one ever has it figured out.

1459
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:36,080
Speaker 3: There is no there's no line that we cross at

1460
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:39,280
Speaker 3: the end of life and go we've crossed the line.

1461
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:42,920
Speaker 3: There is no line. The day you die is the

1462
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,240
Speaker 3: end of the line. But you don't You're not going

1463
01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:47,400
Speaker 3: to cross at thirty years earlier and say across the

1464
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:48,639
Speaker 3: line now, nobody do you.

1465
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:51,000
Speaker 1: Know what you have experienced and shared today where you

1466
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:53,720
Speaker 1: felt lit up thousand.

1467
01:10:53,479 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 2: And four Comwealth Games years fourteen. Sorry, I'm going a

1468
01:10:58,160 --> 01:10:58,599
Speaker 2: long life.

1469
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:01,760
Speaker 3: I was not a good in two thousand and four. Yeah,

1470
01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:04,200
Speaker 3: I was not. I was not a wholesome being in

1471
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 3: two thousand and four.

1472
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:08,200
Speaker 1: But you talked about an experience where you were litter,

1473
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:12,439
Speaker 1: and you can identify with that and remember how that

1474
01:11:12,479 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 1: feels in your art, in how you would have felt

1475
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:17,280
Speaker 1: during the day and when you were doing in the

1476
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:20,400
Speaker 1: lead up. And I bet like it's those moments I

1477
01:11:20,439 --> 01:11:22,400
Speaker 1: know when I'm filming or I'm doing a like I

1478
01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 1: can feel it in my.

1479
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,840
Speaker 3: Heart, your heart glows.

1480
01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:27,840
Speaker 1: And even like doing acting school, like people like what

1481
01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:30,479
Speaker 1: and I'm in acting school. I'm the oldest person by

1482
01:11:30,560 --> 01:11:32,960
Speaker 1: ten years. And I said to my therapist.

1483
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:35,200
Speaker 3: I was like, fuck, I'm the oldest person. If he

1484
01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 3: said you were thirty twenty four in the class, who cares.

1485
01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:41,960
Speaker 2: He goes, that's he goes, that's a superpower because you

1486
01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:42,880
Speaker 2: know who you are now.

1487
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:45,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're he goes, This is a good there's not

1488
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:46,720
Speaker 1: a bad time to come into his career.

1489
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:50,240
Speaker 3: And I said, Helen Mirren one of the most beautiful,

1490
01:11:50,360 --> 01:11:54,520
Speaker 3: most amazing women on screen, so believable.

1491
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:56,320
Speaker 2: Someone said, you say so, Mucky Weaver.

1492
01:11:56,680 --> 01:12:02,639
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's amazing sixties and credible. They're they're great.

1493
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:05,040
Speaker 3: You know, I'll just look up to those people. It's

1494
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:05,800
Speaker 3: so beautiful.

1495
01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:08,080
Speaker 1: I actually think, and I heard you say it's on

1496
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:10,400
Speaker 1: another podcast. In the scheme of things, we're still very.

1497
01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:13,200
Speaker 3: Young, so young, of course, you know, and I.

1498
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:16,000
Speaker 1: Think where I don't know. I think the virgo, the pressure,

1499
01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:19,280
Speaker 1: all of that. And thank you for opening your heart,

1500
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:22,280
Speaker 1: thank you for being for having me. I cannot wait

1501
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:25,599
Speaker 1: to see what's next for you, because I know epic

1502
01:12:25,640 --> 01:12:26,840
Speaker 1: shit is coming your way.

1503
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:28,639
Speaker 3: I'm sitting in a bit of a hole at the moment,

1504
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,800
Speaker 3: but yes, you know I have I do have faith

1505
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:33,200
Speaker 3: and trust something is coming.

1506
01:12:33,439 --> 01:12:36,800
Speaker 1: And also rock bottom or a hole. Someone once said

1507
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:39,479
Speaker 1: to me, you've got two choices. You get to stay

1508
01:12:39,479 --> 01:12:41,600
Speaker 1: there or you get to change.

1509
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:46,240
Speaker 3: I'm growing, I'm definitely I'm going through big growth at

1510
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:47,400
Speaker 3: the moment, big stuff.

1511
01:12:47,479 --> 01:12:48,040
Speaker 2: So same.

1512
01:12:48,160 --> 01:12:51,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that. It's exciting, Chicken.

1513
01:12:52,880 --> 01:12:56,479
Speaker 1: I think you're freaking amazing and I cannot wait to

1514
01:12:56,479 --> 01:12:57,080
Speaker 1: see your star.

1515
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,679
Speaker 3: Has been an absolute pleasure to be on your podcast

1516
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:03,479
Speaker 3: and share my story and I'm so glad you had

1517
01:13:03,479 --> 01:13:06,240
Speaker 3: me on. Yes, let's go on to do bigger and

1518
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:10,679
Speaker 3: better things. Chickens, big love. Sorry I took your sign off.

1519
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:16,920
Speaker 1: I love it. That's a wrap on another episode of

1520
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:18,439
Speaker 1: Fearlessly Failing.

1521
01:13:19,120 --> 01:13:20,920
Speaker 2: As always, thank you to our.

1522
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:25,479
Speaker 1: Guests, and let's continue the conversation on Instagram. I'm at

1523
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:31,360
Speaker 1: Yamo Lollaberry. This potty my word for podcast is available

1524
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:35,480
Speaker 1: on all streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe,

1525
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:38,800
Speaker 1: rape and comment, and of course spread the love