1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 1: This is the Happy Family's podcast. Hi's Doctor Justin Coilson, 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,319 Speaker 1: and this is the podcast that's dedicated to making your 3 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: family happier. Well. Last week I shared the five things 4 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: that every child should hear from their parents every day. 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: This week, I'm turning the tables. I'm flipping it upside down. 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 1: I'm going to talk about the five things that no 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 1: child should hear from their parents ever. And I'll explain 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: why as we talk about these five things as well 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: as that. 10 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 2: In today's Ask Doctor Justin. 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: The question comes from a dad who had a very 12 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: frustrating incident occur in a playground where his friend ended 13 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: up taking it upon himself to discipline somebody else's child 14 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: and it very nilly got ugly. So I'll give my 15 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: suggestions on how to deal with other people's children, both 16 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: at home and in public places. And today my tip 17 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: of the week, well, it's a bit quirky. It's a 18 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: little bit of a life hack that I think will 19 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: help your kids to work out which foot goes into 20 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: which shoe. If you've got little kids and they always 21 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: put their shoes on the wrong feet, I think you're 22 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: going to love this idea. 23 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 3: Have you been wanting to attend one of doctor Justin 24 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 3: Coulson's parenting workshops, but so far your schedules simply haven't aligned. 25 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 3: Then let him come to you. You can have one 26 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 3: of Australia's most respected parenting experts in your loundroom. Learn 27 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 3: how to build a strong connection with your children, how 28 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 3: to really understand them, and how to discipline them in 29 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 3: ways that teach and that everyone can feel good about. 30 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 3: Plus you'll have all of your parenting questions answered without 31 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 3: even leaving your loungdroom. Organize some friends and enjoy an intimate, 32 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 3: thought provoking, fun evening in with a parenting expert in 33 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 3: your loundroom. Visit happyfamilies dot com dot a you slash 34 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 3: loungdroom for more information, or email Kylie at happyfamilies dot 35 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 3: com dot you. 36 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: When I was a child and someone called me a 37 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: name or said something unkind to me, I was taught 38 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: to respond with the old poem sticks and stones may 39 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Well, 40 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: the truth is that woods do hurt. They did hurt me, 41 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,559 Speaker 1: then they can still hurt me now, and they certainly 42 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: hurt our children. Fortunately for me, most of the time, 43 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: the words that hurt me came from people who ultimately 44 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 1: didn't end up meaning a whole lot to me, though 45 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: appears that are now long forgotten. They were teachers whose 46 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: classes are nothing more than a distant memory for more 47 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: reasons than one, I'm sure, and even strangers that somehow 48 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: I managed to offend. But at the time, it all hurt, 49 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: regardless of who said it and whether it hurts now. 50 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 4: Now. 51 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: There's a variation on the sticks and Stones poem that 52 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: goes like this, sticks and stones may break my bones, 53 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: but words can also hurt me. Sticks and stones break 54 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: only skin, while words are ghosts that haunt me. Pain 55 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: from words has left its scar on mind and heart 56 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 1: that's tender. Cuts and bruises now have healed. It's words 57 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: that I remember from time to time. People who matter 58 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: to us deeply say things that cut. 59 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 2: They cut quite deep. 60 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: I've come to believe that sticks and stones may break 61 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: my bones, but words can cause untold damage for a lifetime. 62 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: If you'll indulge me for twenty seconds, you know that 63 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 1: I have a Christian faith. If you've been listening to 64 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: this podcast, and I don't normally share things related to Christianity, 65 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: but I just want to share some wisdom from James 66 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: in the Bible when he said this, for in many 67 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 1: things we offend all. 68 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: But if any man offend. 69 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: Not in word, the same is a perfect man, and 70 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: also able to bridle the whole body. In other words, 71 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: if we don't offend people with the things we say, 72 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: then we're pretty much perfect. Continuing the imagery of the bridle, 73 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: he says this, Behold, we put bits in the horse's 74 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: mouth that they may obey us, and we turn about 75 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: their whole body. Behold also ships, which, though they be 76 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: great and are driven of fierce winds, yet they are 77 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: turned about with a very small helm. And then James 78 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: makes his point, the tongue also is a little member, 79 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: just like the helm, or the or just like the 80 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: bit in the horse's mouth, the tongue is also a 81 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: little member. 82 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: That behold, how great. 83 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: A forest a little fire can burn, but the tongue 84 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: can no man tame. James says, it is an unruly evil, 85 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: full of deadly poison. And then he says this, out 86 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. 87 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 2: These things ought not so to be. I really love that. 88 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 2: I think it's really interesting. 89 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: That out of the same mouth that we out of 90 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: those precious promises and that love to our children, all 91 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,440 Speaker 1: those beautiful things that I talked about that we can 92 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: say to our kids when I shared last week's podcast, 93 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: out of that same mouth, that same little member, we 94 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: also allow these destructive and harsh and even venomous words 95 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: to flow. We speak softly and lovingly and kindly in 96 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: one breath, and then sometimes within ten or twenty seconds, 97 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: we turn around and we berate, and we criticize, and 98 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: we demean, and we embarrass, and we inflict pain that 99 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: just lingers in the soul of our children, and sometimes 100 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: it stays there for a lifetime. There's every chance that 101 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: somebody meaningful to you, maybe even a mother or a father, 102 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: said something to you when you were young that you 103 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: have never forgotten. Even though you know they probably didn't 104 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 1: mean it, they meant it in that moment and it 105 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: stuck with you. So, with that a little bit dispiriting 106 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: thought in mind, here are five things that parents should 107 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: avoid saying to their kids because of the damage that 108 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: these words can cause. The first one, you're useless or 109 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: criticism generally. Now, it probably comes as no surprise that 110 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: research tells us quite clearly that messages like you're useless, 111 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: you're a klutz, you're an idiot, you stupid fool, are 112 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: quite unhelpful for our children. In fact, they're unhelpful for anybody. 113 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: These messages undermine their feelings of worth, They make them 114 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: feel like they're insignificant, and they cause them to question 115 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: their capacity to be valuable to anyone in any circumstance, 116 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: even if we're playing or teasing. I think that these 117 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,479 Speaker 1: messages really damage the security that our children need to 118 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: feel when they're with us. They need secure relationships. So 119 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,279 Speaker 1: the opposite would be that we develop trust and that 120 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: we never ever ever call our children names or labels 121 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: that undermine that trust instead to flip it around. Instead 122 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: of telling them how useless they are, we invite them 123 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: to do things and then we talk about what they've 124 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: done and how capable they are. Now, the second thing 125 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: that we shouldn't say, and I know that this is 126 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 1: going to provoke a reaction, but the second thing that 127 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: we shouldn't say is you're so clever or you are 128 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: the best, You're amazing. First off, I've just said that 129 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: we shouldn't criticize. Now, in the next breath, I'm suggesting 130 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: that we shouldn't praise. 131 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:48,359 Speaker 2: In the last. 132 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: Podcast, I mentioned that I'm going to do an entire 133 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: podcast on praise. This is a sneak preview of what 134 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:57,559 Speaker 1: that podcast might contain. Why shouldn't we praise our kids? Well? 135 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 1: Unexpectedly can be really quite unhelpful for our children. This 136 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: is really counterintuitive, but bear with me for a second, 137 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: because it's been replicated in dozens of experiments with literally 138 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: thousands and thousands of children and students and even adults. 139 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: It is true that praising our kids for being such 140 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: a good boy, or such a smart girl, or such 141 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: a natural musician or sports person, or such a natural 142 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: artist or dancer can give a really big squad of 143 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: self esteem right there in the moment when it's delivered. 144 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: It feels so good when people say these things to us. 145 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: But the problems start a little bit later when our 146 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: kids experience perhaps are set back or a failure, and 147 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: they end up questioning the praise. They're thinking kind of 148 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: goes along the lines of this, hang on, if I'm 149 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: so smart, or if I'm such a natural at this, 150 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: or if I'm such a good kid, but I just failed, 151 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: I just got this wrong. Maybe they're wrong about me. 152 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not so smart after all, I just failed 153 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: that test. Or maybe I'm not so talented I just 154 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: got beaten in that competition, Or maybe I'm not such 155 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: a good musician because I just made fourteen mistakes when 156 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 1: I was playing in Thest Dedford. In fact, studies tell 157 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: us that kids feel that if we praise. 158 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 2: Them, they might not be that good at all. They 159 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 2: actually take the. 160 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: Praise as a judgment that they must need some special encouragement. 161 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: This is the case for kids with low self esteem 162 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 1: in particular, which is kind of ironic because you'd think 163 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: that if you said something nice to somebody with low 164 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: self esteem, you'd make them feel better about themselves. But 165 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: kids with low self esteem. 166 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 2: Actually feel worse. 167 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: And the kids with high self esteem, well, they don't 168 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 1: actually need it because they already feel good about themselves. 169 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: So the praise doesn't really have an impact. But what 170 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 1: it can do is have a negative impact if they 171 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: do start to experience failures or setbacks. Like I said, 172 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: there's heaps and heaps of other research about this topic. 173 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 2: I will talk to. 174 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: You about it in an upcoming podcast, and I'll tell 175 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: you why I avoid praising my kids. But what we 176 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: can do to encourage them instead, because what praise is bad, 177 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 1: encouragement is good, and there is a difference between the two. 178 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,079 Speaker 1: We'll talk about that in an upcoming podcast. 179 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 2: So us two things. 180 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: Don't criticize and don't praise. Try to keep those out 181 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: of your vocabulary. The third thing, why can't you'd be 182 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: more like so and so? I think that it's probably 183 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: pretty evident why this isn't helpful, But let me just 184 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 1: explain briefly. Comparisons, in a nutshell are deadly to self worth. 185 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: Comparisons are terrible because they fuel this idea that we're 186 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: not enough. And by the way, competition does the same 187 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: thing if we approach competition the wrong way. In fact, 188 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 1: i'd argue that competition can do this generally anyway. Feelings 189 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: of not being enough, feelings of being compared to somebody 190 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 1: else and not quite measuring up, can quite literally chase 191 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: our children through their entire lives, because there's always going 192 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: to be somebody that we can compare ourselves to who's 193 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: going to make us feel bad about ourselves. Comparisons are terrible, 194 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,839 Speaker 1: and we need to keep them out of our vocabulary. 195 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 1: The fourth thing, I've actually heard parents say this, and 196 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: I cringe even saying it, because I'm sure if you 197 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: listen to this podcast, you never would say it. But 198 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: please don't ever say something like I wish I'd never 199 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,959 Speaker 1: had you. I probably don't need to explain that one. 200 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,719 Speaker 1: The damage that statements like that, or statements like I 201 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: hate you, they can cause such irreparable damage in some cases, 202 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: especially when it's said in the heat of the moment, 203 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: or especially when it's said in the cold light of day. 204 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: So please, please please bite your tongue, especially when your 205 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 1: teenage daughter slams doors and stomps feats and tells you 206 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: that she hates you, or when you're toddler says it. 207 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: It's not smart, it's not clever, it's not funny to 208 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: look at them and say, well, I hate you too. 209 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: That does nothing to make relationships better or to make 210 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: families happy. And the fifth thing is this because I 211 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: said so. See, as our children start to question this, 212 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: we can often feel quite threatened. We can take their 213 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: questions as an opportunity to tell them that we're powerful 214 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: to demand that ourchildren do as we say simply because 215 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: I'm the parent and I said so. And when we 216 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: do that, we teach our children to look externally for 217 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: somebody to tell them how to behave If we want 218 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: our children to do the right thing, because they understand 219 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 1: the reasons, because I said so is. 220 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 2: Never going to be useful. 221 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: Instead, we can take their questions as an opportunity for teaching, 222 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 1: as an opportunity to say, oh, that's really interesting that you're. 223 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 2: Asking why, why do you think? Why don't you tell me? 224 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 1: Get their input, and if they have no idea, then 225 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: we might spend some time explaining why. 226 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 2: Now, no parent's perfect. There's every chance that our kids have. 227 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: Heard at least some of these words from us at 228 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: some time. But as we limit these phrases or eliminate 229 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: them and replace them with much more constructive phrases, our 230 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: kids will thrive. So five things to kick out of 231 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 1: our vocabulary. Number one, you are useless. We shouldn't be criticizing. 232 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 1: Number two, you're so clever, let's avoid praising. Number three, 233 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: why can't you be more like? We need to kick 234 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: out comparisons. Number four, I wish I'd never had you, 235 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: or I hate you. At number five because I said so, 236 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: so I'd like to hear from you. Go to Happy 237 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 1: Families dot com dot a u slash podcast slash four 238 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: as in the number four, and tell me did someone 239 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,319 Speaker 1: ever say something hurtful to you? What things have stuck 240 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: with you that you just wish you hadn't heard? Leave 241 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: your answer at Happy Families dot com dot us, slash 242 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: podcast slash four and I'll be back in a second 243 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: with some advice for a dad who wants to take 244 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:34,079 Speaker 1: disciplining other people's kids into his own hands. 245 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 4: Toilet training it's a milestone that parents look forward to. 246 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 4: What is the best way to toilet train our children successfully? 247 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 4: Doctor Justin Colson has written a no mess, no fuss 248 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 4: ebook to help called Toilet Training Easiest One Too we 249 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 4: Written for busy parents, you'll whiz through a clearoverview of 250 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 4: toilet training without getting bogged down in too much detail. 251 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 4: At just over twenty pages, the book can be digested 252 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 4: in under thirty minutes. You'll find direct answer. This is 253 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 4: about toilet training based on scientific research, like how to 254 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 4: know when your child is ready to toilet train, myths 255 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 4: and conspiracies, theories about toilet training, and the most pop 256 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 4: popular toilet training approaches and what science says about them. 257 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 4: Some toilet training guides take longer to read than it 258 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,719 Speaker 4: should take to toilet train a child. This is the 259 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 4: fast flowing alternative to get your kids going at the 260 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 4: right time, in the right place and the right way. 261 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 4: Toilet training easy as one too. We available at major 262 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 4: online booksellers now or at Happy families dot com dot AU. 263 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: I received this email from someone who wanted to have 264 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: a pretty serious question answered. This is what the email said. 265 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 1: Dr Justin, my three kids and my friends to little 266 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: ones were playing in the enclosed playground at the tavern 267 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: while we were waiting for our meals to arrive. Four 268 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: of our five kids came out of the playground along 269 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: with other people's kids or crying, within the space of 270 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 1: a few minutes, claiming that another child in there had 271 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: pushed them and yelled at them. 272 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 2: And then another lot of kids came out as well. 273 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: One lady saw and she came up to us and 274 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: told us that she was a school teacher and wanted 275 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: to address the child, but didn't feel right her child. 276 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 2: Was also pushed. 277 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: The final straw came when my mate's little three year 278 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: old girl came out crying, saying this kid had pushed her. 279 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 1: My mate got up and went into the enclosure. I followed, 280 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: and we saw this kid push another kid during this time, 281 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: my mate was not happy. He slapped his hand on 282 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: the side of the playground, which made a very loud noise, 283 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: and in a heavy voice told the offending kid to 284 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: cut it out and play nice. The kid, almost excuse 285 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: the language, crapped his pants. Minutes later, the offending kid's 286 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: parents tried to find out who the adult was that 287 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: readed their child. My mate admits he was probably a 288 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: bit over the top, but he was at his wits 289 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 1: end and enough was enough. The father of the offending 290 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: kid was very angry. After about ten minutes walking around 291 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: huffing and puffing, he and his family left. So did 292 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: my mate do the right or the wrong thing? What 293 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: should parents do if their children are bullied in the playground? Well, 294 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: great question. I'm not sure that there are any hard 295 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: and fast rules here, but I think that there's a 296 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 1: few basic principles that I can share that are helpful 297 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: rules to live by, including the following. Here's the first 298 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: thing I would say, don't ever threat Sorry, don't ever 299 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: threaten or hit or intimidate another person's child, Because no 300 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: matter how big a bully or a brat your child 301 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: might be, how would you feel if a stranger or 302 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: perhaps even a friend, was to hit or frighten your child. 303 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: In most cases, most parents would probably be pretty upset. 304 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 1: They'd like you to deal with their child in nice ways, 305 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 1: in more effective ways. It's just not okay. So what 306 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: other options are there? Well, I'd say option number one, 307 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: find the child's parents. Not all parents are going to 308 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: respond warmly to another adult dobbing on their child, But 309 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: unless a parent appears overly aggressive, I think the best 310 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: thing to do is actually go to the parent of 311 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: the child who's behaving in that anti social way and 312 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: politely let them. 313 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 2: Know what's going on. 314 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: You might say something like, look, I'm sorry to bother you. 315 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you've noticed, but little one seems 316 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: a bit upset. He or she has been hurting some 317 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: of the kids in the playground. I thought I should 318 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 1: come and let you know. Now, if the person in 319 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: that scenario in the email that I mentioned had gone 320 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: and found the boy's father rather than taking things into 321 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 1: his own hands, I think that the father probably would 322 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 1: have responded a bit more calmly. He might have been 323 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: a bit up there, it might have been a bit embarrassed, 324 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: but I don't think he would have huffed and puffed 325 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: while he tried to work out who's scared his child. 326 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: I actually did this fairly recently in a park. The 327 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: parents jumped off their seats and they came running. When 328 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: I mentioned it to them, they were pretty embarrassed about it. 329 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: They got their little one away from the other kids 330 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: straight away, and I actually felt so bad for them 331 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: that I wanted to apologize to them and let them 332 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 1: know that, look, everything's okay. 333 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 2: I just wanted to let you know. 334 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 1: So that's my first tip. Find them and quietly and 335 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: gently say I'm not sure if you've noticed, but there 336 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 1: seems to be some problems in the playground. Your little 337 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: one seems to be upset and seems to have hard 338 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 1: a couple of kids, okay. The second tip is this, 339 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: remember what discipline is and what it's not. If you 340 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: feel that you're the one who needs to deal with things, 341 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: remember that discipline is not punishment. Discipline is not consequences. 342 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 1: Discipline is not being the big adult who frightens people. Instead, 343 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: discipline is about teaching kids good ways to act, and 344 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 1: it's about helping kids solve problems. If a child can 345 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 1: be approached and spoken with kindly and be given appropriate 346 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: and gentle guidance. It's unlikely that other parents are going 347 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 1: to be offended by what we're doing. If we can't 348 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: find the child's parents, we might walk over the child 349 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,360 Speaker 1: and say something. 350 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 2: Like, is everything okay? 351 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 1: You seem to be upset at the other kids, and 352 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: then have. 353 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 2: A conversation with them, And if that doesn't go too well, 354 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,679 Speaker 2: ask if the little guy or a little. 355 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,199 Speaker 1: Girl can walk you to his or her parents, and 356 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: remember again to approach them with a big smile and 357 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: say hi, you must be this little guy's mum and dad. 358 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 1: A third tip that I would give is this, sometimes 359 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 1: it's just best to leave. If a child or her 360 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 1: parents are aggressive or abusive or otherwise being completely anti social. 361 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's best to just find another place to play, 362 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,879 Speaker 1: or find another place to eat, and go somewhere else. 363 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: I know that this is inconvenient, I know that you 364 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: shouldn't have to do this, but sometimes it can be 365 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: the difference between being on edge versus having a really 366 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,640 Speaker 1: nice time out in public. And I think the reality 367 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 1: is some people really are unfortunately quite unreasonable, and there's 368 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: not much we can do about it, if anything at all. 369 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 2: Now, if this was to happen at home. 370 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: Then I would say the child needs to be taught. 371 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: You're going to have a relationship with this child first 372 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: of all, and with the parents, so there's some sort 373 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: of trusts, and I think that this is going to 374 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,359 Speaker 1: be the time where you can actually do a little 375 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: bit of teaching. So I'd recommend separating the kids and 376 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 1: having a quiet chat. You might say to the child, 377 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 1: you seem to be really struggling to get on with 378 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: the other kids today, Is everything okay? 379 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 2: Can I help? Or you might just ask them what's. 380 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,719 Speaker 1: The right thing to do if you're unhappy? Is hitting 381 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: or hurting okay? Or is it something else that you 382 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 1: could do instead? When we ask questions and when we 383 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 1: gently guide our children, we typically get much better results. Also, 384 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,679 Speaker 1: just something that I'd add, I hate it when this 385 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: happens to me, So don't tell the parents. Oh look, 386 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: you know your child was actually a bit of a 387 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 1: problem today. 388 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 2: Is everything okay? 389 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: Because if you've dealt with it, there's probably nothing else 390 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: that needs to be done unless it's really serious. 391 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 2: If you've dealt with it, let it go. 392 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 1: It can be really embarrassing when somebody collects their kids 393 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,159 Speaker 1: and then they get told about all the things that 394 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 1: their kids have done to cause dis harmony. If you'd 395 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,200 Speaker 1: like to ask me a question, you can visit happy 396 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 1: families dot com dot I use slash questions and either 397 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: leave me a voicemail message or email me with your question. 398 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 1: That's happy families dot com dot I use slash questions 399 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 1: and I'll be back right after the break with my 400 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: tip of the week. 401 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,360 Speaker 3: We all love our children, but sometimes they can make 402 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 3: life challenging, and we're all searching for the right answers. 403 00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: In the end, all we want is. 404 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:04,119 Speaker 3: Happy children and happy families. Doctor Justin Coulson is one 405 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 3: of Australia's most respected parenting voices. His seminars equipped and 406 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 3: empowered thousands of parents to make their families happier. But 407 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 3: sometimes getting to a parenting seminar can be tough. Now 408 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 3: you can watch one of doctor Justin's seminars from the 409 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,199 Speaker 3: comfort of your own home and at a time that 410 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:23,120 Speaker 3: works for you. 411 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,919 Speaker 4: In this seminar video available online now, you're invited to 412 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 4: sit in on one of doctor Justin's parenting seminars as 413 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 4: he takes you from confusion to clarity, combining parenting research 414 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 4: with heartfelt stories. You'll discover the three essential keys to 415 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 4: raising a resilient child and creating a happy family. What 416 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 4: your child needs from you from doctor Justin Coulson at 417 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 4: happy families dot com dot Au. Download this ninety minute 418 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 4: seminar now or purchase the DVD at happy families dot 419 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 4: com dot au. 420 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,360 Speaker 1: So this week's tip of the week is for kids 421 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: who struggle to get their shoes on the right feet. 422 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,200 Speaker 1: Here's an idea that is so easy you wonder way 423 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 1: you never thought of it earlier. All you need to 424 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,199 Speaker 1: do is grab a sticker that they really like, slice 425 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 1: it in half straight down the middle, place the less 426 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: left half of the sticker into the left shoe and 427 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: the right half of the sticker into the right shoe. 428 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 1: Every time your child grabs his or her shoes, all 429 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: she has to do is match up the sticker. She 430 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,959 Speaker 1: knows which shoe goes on which foot. It's that simple, 431 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: and that's my tip of the week. That's also it 432 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 1: for this week's podcast. So if you have any questions 433 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 1: that you'd like answered, visit happy families dot com dot 434 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: au slash questions and I will do my best to 435 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: answer you in an upcoming podcast. You can also leave 436 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,120 Speaker 1: a message a voice message or send me an email. 437 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: If you visit that site, happy families dot com dot, 438 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: you slash questions at that page. Also, if you've enjoyed 439 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 1: the episode, you can find the outline, the ideas, the resources, 440 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: and other links in the show notes at happy families 441 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: dot com dot. A U slash podcast slash four that's 442 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 1: with the number four, not the word for And if 443 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: you think that this podcast could make your family happier, 444 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,119 Speaker 1: if it's giving you room to improve and ideas to 445 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: make life better, or if you think that it could 446 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,520 Speaker 1: make other people's families happier, I'd be really grateful if 447 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: you'd visit the same website, happy families dot com dot. 448 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 1: I use slash podcast slash four, and there you'll find 449 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 1: a prepopulated Twitter or Facebook post that you can share 450 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: with your friends, your followers, and get the word out 451 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:16,639 Speaker 1: about the podcast. 452 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,119 Speaker 2: I'd also be really. 453 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: Really delighted if you would rate the podcast on iTunes. 454 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: I've mentioned this before, but it's your ratings that determine 455 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: the likelihood of the podcast being discovered by other people. 456 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: The ratings increase the visibility of the podcast, and it 457 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: helps other people to find out how I can help 458 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 1: them to. 459 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 2: Have happier families. 460 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 1: So that's it for this week. Thanks again for listening, 461 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: and I'll be back next week with another hopefully terrifically 462 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 1: exciting podcast. Until then, remember you don't have to be 463 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 1: the best parent in the world. You just have to 464 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 1: be the best parent in your children's world.