Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back for another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany, I've missed you
Speaker 1: this week.
Speaker 2: You've been busy. I haven't seen you. I know. It's
Speaker 2: the longest time we've ever gone. Oh my gosh, how
Speaker 2: did you coat you? Poor me?
Speaker 1: It was a tough week. No, I've had two copies
Speaker 1: this morning. I'm feeling jacked. Oh I'm only one d
Speaker 1: So this is a Sunday morning, guys. On Valentine's Day weekend?
Speaker 2: What did you do for V Day? Nothing? Guys.
Speaker 1: We missed our ask Uncut episode this week, and that
Speaker 1: is because there's been a few things going down. But
Speaker 1: one of them was that my grandfather was really unwell
Speaker 1: and I've been done in Wollongong with him. Our family
Speaker 1: has been rallied around him. But you know what, he's
Speaker 1: actually come a bit better over the last couple of days.
Speaker 1: So that was well, I feel like we're getting into
Speaker 1: our suckond sweet already. That was definitely the massive low light.
Speaker 1: But the fact that he's doing a little bit better
Speaker 1: at the moment is great. But he's also a huge
Speaker 1: part of your life, right Yeah, massive, like he was
Speaker 1: my father figure growing up. So it's been Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: been a really, really tough couple of days. So I
Speaker 1: spent most of Valentine's Day with him down at the hospital,
Speaker 1: and then I spent the evening with Matt and we
Speaker 1: had a no phone, no TV takeaway dinner, sitting on
Speaker 1: the couch, just having a chat.
Speaker 2: I love that. I love screen ban and.
Speaker 1: It was enforced by him. We sat down with our
Speaker 1: pizza and I was like, what are we going to
Speaker 1: watch tonight? Matt was like, let's just talk about our.
Speaker 2: Feelings and I was like, you are so weird and
Speaker 2: I like it.
Speaker 1: You were actually messaging me before your screen band, so
Speaker 1: otherwise you were like doing it under the pillow so
Speaker 1: he couldn't see because you told me about your pepperin pizza.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, no, I was still on my screen during
Speaker 1: screen band. Whenever he left the room, I was like,
Speaker 1: Brittany helped me. I have to talk to my partner.
Speaker 1: Dear God, I don't know what to talk to him about.
Speaker 1: Give me some content.
Speaker 2: Oh that actually sounds nice because you two probably actually.
Speaker 1: Don't stop often and just sit there and talk like
Speaker 1: you guys have lives at a million miles an hour
Speaker 1: all the time.
Speaker 2: So it's nice just to sit down and talk.
Speaker 1: It is nice to sit down and talk and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: that's right, we're engaged.
Speaker 2: How have you been dad? How is your Valentine's Day?
Speaker 1: My v day actually escalated super quickly. It was supposed
Speaker 1: to be just like low key. I had a Gallantine's
Speaker 1: Day with my girlfriends. There were five of us, and
Speaker 1: two of them are married. Three of us were not.
Speaker 1: So the two that are married sacrifice their love day
Speaker 1: because they were like stuff that I want to come
Speaker 1: out with the girls so overrated. I feel like, if
Speaker 1: you're in a long term relationship, you can just celebrate
Speaker 1: your love on a totally different day when every freaking
Speaker 1: restaurant in Sydney is not booked out. So I'm all
Speaker 1: for being like, seebabe, stay home with the kids. I'm
Speaker 1: going out with the girls for sure. And we'll get
Speaker 1: to that in a second about what we actually think
Speaker 1: about Valentine's Day. But we went to dinner at Toddy's because.
Speaker 2: We are obsessed with Toddy.
Speaker 1: We went to dinner at Toddy's. We just started drinking.
Speaker 1: The champagne was flowing. Before I knew it.
Speaker 2: I was outside the Royal and I met a guy there.
Speaker 1: Of course he did, yeah, he Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: haven't shown you the video yet. A video surfaced of
Speaker 1: he and I doing the macarina out the front of
Speaker 1: the Royal and I don't even remember it, but my
Speaker 1: girlfriend apparently filmed it. He asked for my number. I
Speaker 1: got mad at him because he didn't remember my name.
Speaker 1: I said, I'll give you my number if you remember
Speaker 1: my name, and he's like, shit, I forgot. Why do
Speaker 1: people always forget my name? Is it not memorable?
Speaker 2: Member, baby?
Speaker 1: It's because you keep meeting guys who are blind drunk
Speaker 1: at the pub.
Speaker 2: No, I'm that was why they don't remember your name.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I gave him my number, but I put it
Speaker 1: in as the girl that you can't remember her name.
Speaker 2: I forgot.
Speaker 1: I even did this fast forward to the next day
Speaker 1: and I get a message from him. So yesterday I
Speaker 1: get a message from him being like, hey, I'm the
Speaker 1: guy that forgot your name, and we've been chatting NonStop
Speaker 1: ever since. He wants to take me out. So that
Speaker 1: was a success. So your Galvalentine's Day, you ditched the
Speaker 1: girls and got a guy's number. I didn't ditch. I
Speaker 1: spoke to him for only for two minutes. We run
Speaker 1: into each other, we did the macarina, we swapped numbers quickly,
Speaker 1: and then I was out, You're wild, You're wild. I
Speaker 1: was sitting on the couch eating pepperoni pizza, watching my
Speaker 1: fiance talk connecting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you connected. I connected with the defil Oh my god.
Speaker 2: You know what we actually talked about. We actually talked
Speaker 2: about podcast topics. So yeah, it was full of romance.
Speaker 1: I do Look, I had a really great night, But
Speaker 1: I think Valentine's Day as a day is overrated. I think,
Speaker 1: go and show your love on a day that's not expected,
Speaker 1: surprising with a gift.
Speaker 2: I think, do that in another day.
Speaker 1: This is my life mantras surprise and delight people. Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day is completely commercialized. We all know that it is
Speaker 1: nice when your partner gives you something on Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: because you're like, ah, you didn't not do it, and
Speaker 1: that's embarrassing. I have to tell my friends that my
Speaker 1: boyfriends are But at the same time, I don't expect anything,
Speaker 1: like I don't need flowers, I don't need a card,
Speaker 1: I don't need any anything on Valentine's Day. I feel like,
Speaker 1: for me when I'm saying I'm like single Brittany, it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Valentine's Day. So ever rated relationship, Brittany
Speaker 1: would be like, bitch, it's.
Speaker 2: Give me how my presences, my chocolate.
Speaker 3: So I think I.
Speaker 1: Will cut you with these roses if you don't get
Speaker 1: them for me. So I think it's very dependent. But
Speaker 1: as a general rule, yeah, but there were so many
Speaker 1: single people out on Valentine's Day it was nuts. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I put this on the I did put
Speaker 1: this on the Instagram. I don't think I put it
Speaker 1: on the Instagram. Why is there a Valentine's Day but
Speaker 1: there's no like single Lady's Day?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I need that.
Speaker 1: Obviously, there's a talk like a pirate Day, but we
Speaker 1: don't have a single Lady's Day.
Speaker 2: Do we have a single Lady's Day?
Speaker 1: You know what?
Speaker 2: There probably is? Did you research that? Did you google it?
Speaker 2: Why would I google that? I'm not a single lady
Speaker 2: for me? For my benefit?
Speaker 1: Other than that, I guess I've been getting a lot
Speaker 1: of dms on an update on you know who?
Speaker 2: So guys.
Speaker 1: One of the biggest questions we get asked every week
Speaker 1: on our Instagram is what the fuck happened to meet Raphul?
Speaker 1: What I want to know also because I don't really
Speaker 1: know what happened to meet Raffle. One day he was
Speaker 1: here or MEETI Raffling and the next day gone. I
Speaker 1: wish there's so much more to the story, and I
Speaker 1: just can't. I just don't want to, like flood you
Speaker 1: guys meat Raffle didn't turn out to be the prime cut.
Speaker 2: Oh, but it that way.
Speaker 1: That was a good analogy. I like that, Yeah, was
Speaker 1: he was? He like beef cheeks, although beef checks are
Speaker 1: pretty good if you slow cook them. You know the
Speaker 1: one that you end up going to the budge and
Speaker 1: you're like, do you have anything left over for the dog?
Speaker 1: You have some chuck steak or minute steak that I
Speaker 1: can feed to Buster.
Speaker 2: I thank you. That would be perfect.
Speaker 1: The long story is he did not treat me very
Speaker 1: well at the end. He wasn't being very respectful. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to go into detail, but he wasn't the
Speaker 1: person you would want your daughter to be with, right,
Speaker 1: And I think that says like I would not want
Speaker 1: my daughter to be with spoken to like he spoke
Speaker 1: to me or treated the way. Well, you're being so vague.
Speaker 1: I need more details. Oh I don't want he's killing me.
Speaker 2: He wasn't. He was not nice to king. So who called?
Speaker 2: Who called it?
Speaker 1: So? Okay the reason I called it, and I was like, look,
Speaker 1: we're in different places, we want different things. I really
Speaker 1: like who you are as a person. Because he hadn't
Speaker 1: gone that downhill yet. Maybe we can still be friends.
Speaker 1: But I just want you to know, like, this was nice,
Speaker 1: but it's not going anywhere. You did the soft break,
Speaker 1: although you did try and do a hard break, and
Speaker 1: then you went to the movies with him, so maybe
Speaker 1: he was getting some mixed signals from you. Okay, I
Speaker 1: did the break, I did the herdbreak, and then he
Speaker 1: didn't understand that. He messaged me and he's like, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? I was going to the movies by myself.
Speaker 1: We discussed this also, PS, guys, going to the movies
Speaker 1: by yourself is fine. I was like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: movies by myself. He's like, well, one a night is come.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, if you want to meet
Speaker 1: me there, meet me there, that's cool. So he just
Speaker 1: didn't really he was really trying. But I was always
Speaker 1: very clear that like it wasn't going where he wanted
Speaker 1: it to. Went to the movies, and I think he
Speaker 1: thought that that was like, you know, an opening and
Speaker 1: gain gonna get married. So then I had to do
Speaker 1: the second cut where I messaged him again and it
Speaker 1: was so I mean, I'll read it to you.
Speaker 2: I sort of told you did it on Valentine's Day week,
Speaker 2: no wonder.
Speaker 1: He was depressed and he did not handle it well
Speaker 1: like he's He just became different person. He was like aggressive,
Speaker 1: he was rude, the things he was saying to me.
Speaker 1: I actually said to him, I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know who you are right now as who deals well
Speaker 1: with rejection. Then I think that's what it is. I
Speaker 1: think his ego took a hit. I don't think he
Speaker 1: actually probably likes me that much. It was more ego
Speaker 1: he couldn't get what he wanted. Isn't it funny how
Speaker 1: some people take it as such a person like and
Speaker 1: of course it's personal, like no one wants to be rejected,
Speaker 1: but they take it as such a personal attack, And
Speaker 1: I think it's a massive reflection on who that person
Speaker 1: is and their personality.
Speaker 2: If they they don't deal with that well, and putting.
Speaker 1: That back on you and being angry and aggressive because
Speaker 1: someone doesn't want to date you is never gonna get
Speaker 1: you anywhere in the first place anyway.
Speaker 2: But also, I have been shut down and let down
Speaker 2: so many times.
Speaker 1: I have been in a position where I've wanted to
Speaker 1: date someone and they said, oh, I just don't think
Speaker 1: it's going anywhere. And I didn't go full psycho. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh cool, okay, by like nice, No, you're
Speaker 1: not my penguin. Dude, You're not my penguin.
Speaker 2: Like that's anyway.
Speaker 1: Guys, I'm really sorry that didn't work out for you,
Speaker 1: because I know you're all rooting for me. But onwards
Speaker 1: and upwards, I'm actually going to take a break from dating. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no no. So pretty said to me, I'm
Speaker 1: taking a break from dating. She goes, I've deleted all
Speaker 1: of my dating app I did, I'm done, and then said,
Speaker 1: but I re downloaded them two days later and I'm
Speaker 1: back on.
Speaker 2: But I needed that cleanse for.
Speaker 1: Forty eight hours, Like she's just had some wakening. Guys,
Speaker 1: any of you know that are on dating apps that
Speaker 1: this happens, It's a vicious cycle. Oh, I'm done with this.
Speaker 1: I don't want anything part of it. I'm going to
Speaker 1: go meet someone the wild. You delete your apps, and
Speaker 1: then twenty four hours later you're like, oh, what if
Speaker 1: someone's newies in the area, Like trying to find myself
Speaker 1: a new sausage sizzle in I go off to Bunning's.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: The idea of a sausage sizzle and a dating app
Speaker 1: just has so many other underlying metaphors there as well.
Speaker 1: I might suggest that is my next date. I might
Speaker 1: be like, do you want to get a sausage sizzle?
Speaker 1: That's very seductive, just trying something outside the box. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get into some real content. I'm sure guys have
Speaker 1: had enough of my stories for now. In every episode
Speaker 1: we do also do an accidentally unfiltered and last week
Speaker 1: I told a really stupid story about the time that
Speaker 1: I sent out a mass email with instead of kind regards,
Speaker 1: I wrote kind retards. It was very, very upsetting on
Speaker 1: traumatic time in my life. However, I do have another
Speaker 1: accidentally unfiltered moment that is from the past, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to trudge it back out from the deep depths
Speaker 1: of where I've kept it stored. Yes, I was dating
Speaker 1: this guy and we'd been together for a little while.
Speaker 1: There was a little bit of an overlap with his
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend when we got together, which I didn't know
Speaker 1: about at the time but then found out about, and
Speaker 1: it made me very crazy, which I know. We've talked
Speaker 1: about how crazy I can be in past episodes. So
Speaker 1: if anyone's listened to, like the last episode, for example,
Speaker 1: I have a tendency to go a bit Stage five
Speaker 1: crazy girl. By all your stories since probably the last
Speaker 1: four months that you've told me have been like, okay,
Speaker 1: so this is one time was a bit crazy, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, babe, I don't think it was this one time,
Speaker 1: Like I think you were just crazy guys.
Speaker 2: Crazy is all situation.
Speaker 1: Although a genuinely think that we we've all got the
Speaker 1: crazy flame. It's just some people enhance, some people fan
Speaker 1: the crazy flame, and other people put it out.
Speaker 2: I just dated guys preparing a hole on it.
Speaker 1: They had explained dated guys for a very long time
Speaker 1: that fucking put meth lade and spirits on my crazy flame.
Speaker 2: That's what happened.
Speaker 1: So this was a guy who one hundred percent doused
Speaker 1: my crazy flame in metho.
Speaker 2: He had an ex girlfriend.
Speaker 1: There was a bit of an overlap, and instead of
Speaker 1: being a normal human that's very well rounded and blaming him,
Speaker 1: I blamed her because it's always fun to blame the
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend for everything right and because your partner's just perfect.
Speaker 2: So I became a little bit obsessed with her and
Speaker 2: I would hate stalk her.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you did it on social media. So
Speaker 1: I hate followed his ex girlfriend, which he didn't know about.
Speaker 1: But I would always look at what she was doing.
Speaker 1: I was like, became obsessed with his ex girlfriend. I
Speaker 1: would look at what she was doing. I would like,
Speaker 1: you know, see who she was talking to. And I
Speaker 1: think at the end of the day, I actually just
Speaker 1: trying to make sure that they weren't still in contact.
Speaker 1: But I really, really, really like to a point where
Speaker 1: it was not appropriate, would like look at her Instagram
Speaker 1: or check it, no, not her Instagram, Instagram didn't exist,
Speaker 1: then look at her Facebook.
Speaker 2: This one day.
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people have done this
Speaker 1: in the past by typing in a guy's name who
Speaker 1: they had a crush on, but I back when Facebook
Speaker 1: used to be that you would type it into the
Speaker 1: search bar your status updates.
Speaker 2: I already know where this is going. I can see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So instead of like having a situation where a
Speaker 1: lot of girls have written in the guy they like,
Speaker 1: I have been dating my boyfriend at the time for
Speaker 1: a whole year, whole year, and I typed his ex
Speaker 1: girlfriend's name into my status updates.
Speaker 2: I stated my status was really drunk.
Speaker 1: I dated my status and then just went on with
Speaker 1: my night, like totally didn't know that I'd done it
Speaker 1: until I got home seven hours later and my boyfriend
Speaker 1: was like, should we talk about the reason that you
Speaker 1: have Sarah and whatever her name was. Her name was
Speaker 1: not Sarah.
Speaker 2: As you're currently what are you doing, Sarah Williams. That's
Speaker 2: what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Literally, that's what I did. And so that was a
Speaker 1: real eye opener that I stopped. I stopped hate following
Speaker 1: her and I pulled my.
Speaker 2: Head in does she know? Oh my god? Everyone saw it.
Speaker 2: Every single person saw it. It became the joke of the
Speaker 2: town for about a week. So did do your boyfriend
Speaker 2: like did you stay together? Or was he like, you're
Speaker 2: being a creep.
Speaker 1: We stayed together for like four years, but yeah, because
Speaker 1: he thought I was a creep, totally total creep, and
Speaker 1: I am a creep, but I'm less of a creep now, guys.
Speaker 1: I've grown, I've developed. I'm like a caterpillar and now
Speaker 1: I'm a butterfly. You know what, I made a lot
Speaker 1: of mistakes in the past, and I'm better for it now.
Speaker 1: Can you please keep remembering these mistakes you've made because
Speaker 1: they're so funny? No, I feel like next week we
Speaker 1: need to get back to your accidentally unfiltered guys, so
Speaker 1: please keep writing into us. If you have had something
Speaker 1: happen to you which is absolutely outrageously ridiculous, then jump
Speaker 1: onto our Instagram at Life Uncut podcast and send us
Speaker 1: your stupid as stories because I'm sick of divulging my
Speaker 1: own to you now.
Speaker 2: So should we get into today's topic?
Speaker 1: Yeah, guys, look, we have a topic today about the one?
Speaker 2: Who is the one?
Speaker 1: Who?
Speaker 2: How do you know where the one? What is it?
Speaker 2: Not in here? Are you? The one? Probably?
Speaker 1: My girl? One?
Speaker 2: Is that a thing?
Speaker 1: The one? What is the one? How do you know
Speaker 1: if you've met the one? How do you know if
Speaker 1: your current boyfriend or girlfriend is the one?
Speaker 2: How do you know?
Speaker 1: This is what we're going to be talking about today
Speaker 1: because it does come a point in your relationship where
Speaker 1: for some people, it just they just know, it just
Speaker 1: makes sense. They're like, I know that my partner is
Speaker 1: the one, Whereas for other people, they may find themselves
Speaker 1: down the line in their relationship thinking, how do I
Speaker 1: know is this person the person I'm supposed to surpand
Speaker 1: my life with. Is this what it feels like when
Speaker 1: you've found the one? And maybe you think, out of
Speaker 1: the seven point six billion people in the world, that
Speaker 1: there is only one person for you. And if you
Speaker 1: do think that and you find them fan lartitastic, but also.
Speaker 2: Maybe you think there's more than one person.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, guys, we did a little bit
Speaker 1: of research. We went straight to a really really reliable,
Speaker 1: peer reviewed, scientifically trialed and tested source.
Speaker 2: Did we my parents?
Speaker 1: So, guys, in this little experiment of hours of trying
Speaker 1: to discover how people know and what it means, I thought,
Speaker 1: my parents have been married for forty two years and
Speaker 1: they have been together for forty five years, and I'm
Speaker 1: talking with sickening.
Speaker 2: They're in love. They hold hands walking down the street.
Speaker 2: They are here.
Speaker 1: Actually blame them for my high standards of when I'm
Speaker 1: looking for love, because I've seen it.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 1: What I did was and this was only last night.
Speaker 1: I didn't give them time to think about it. I
Speaker 1: messaged them both and I was like, guys, we're doing
Speaker 1: this segment. I want you to both independently write to me.
Speaker 1: Why you knew each other with the one? What was
Speaker 1: it about each other? I said, don't talk about it. Though.
Speaker 2: I didn't want them.
Speaker 1: To compare because they're very different people. So I thought
Speaker 1: it would be really interesting to compare their answers.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to read you my mom's first.
Speaker 1: Okay, when I met your father, I was in a
Speaker 1: relationship of two years. I think I always knew something
Speaker 1: wasn't quite right, but I just couldn't put my finger
Speaker 1: on it until I met Tony. Not by choice, whichwas
Speaker 1: a sneaky setup, but that night I just knew. It's
Speaker 1: like they say, you just know. The reasons I knew
Speaker 1: were he was handsome, peachressed well, he had nice teeth,
Speaker 1: he had clean feet, he.
Speaker 2: Was tall, and he had nice hair.
Speaker 1: But I just love Okay, we're only halfway through that,
Speaker 1: but I just love that she's like her things. Her
Speaker 1: tick off box was that he had clean feet, very important.
Speaker 1: She's still into that and nice teeth. How did she
Speaker 1: know what his feet looked like. Was he not wearing
Speaker 1: shoes to dinner? No? Hang on, then, she said, now
Speaker 1: I was attracted to his physical attributes. It was time
Speaker 1: to get to know his personality. He spoke nicely and intelligently.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't swear in front of me. Were both old
Speaker 1: school like that where you didn't swear in front of ladies.
Speaker 1: Is she saying this because we swear too much on
Speaker 1: this podcast? Write in and was like, Britney, you saw
Speaker 1: a lot last episode. I was like, so, Mum, I'll
Speaker 1: try to brain it in make the same promises. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: missus Hockley. She said he had a great sense of
Speaker 1: humor and he could dance. She says it was the
Speaker 1: way that he took her on the dates, which I
Speaker 1: think is important. Picnics with salami, cheese, wine, crusty bread,
Speaker 1: pat camping in the snow, watching the sunrise on a hill.
Speaker 1: After the date, I just knew he was the one
Speaker 1: because I loved hanging out his place, not doing anything.
Speaker 1: I just loved being around him. I hated at the
Speaker 1: end of the weekend when I knew we had to
Speaker 1: say goodbye to a Wednesday, I knew he was the
Speaker 1: one because I wanted to have a family with him.
Speaker 1: I knew he would be a great dad. The rest
Speaker 1: of it is history. We're still very happy together after
Speaker 1: forty five years. We do everything together because we are
Speaker 1: best friends. It's not always easy, but the trick is
Speaker 1: to never give up and fight for things. I couldn't
Speaker 1: imagine my life without.
Speaker 2: Him, my love. That isn't that's ridiculous. Wait to him.
Speaker 2: My dad's though.
Speaker 1: Mums was very dot point. She's like, this is the
Speaker 1: reason dot dot dot clean feet, clean teat. She's very
Speaker 1: to the point. My mom My mom loves shows love
Speaker 1: by doing things. You know they love what are they?
Speaker 2: Languages? Love languages, my mom say. She will not come to.
Speaker 1: Me and be like I love you, I'm so proud
Speaker 1: of you. She's not like that, but she will do things.
Speaker 1: You'll come home and she would have done your washing
Speaker 1: and it's folded, or she'll have dinner like she's like that.
Speaker 2: Now, guys, bear with me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read you my dad's When did I know
Speaker 1: NICKI was the one for me? Let me see, it
Speaker 1: took three seconds, it really was. From the first time
Speaker 1: I laid eyes on her, I just immediately knew, and
Speaker 1: I was knocked off my feet. I used to play
Speaker 1: squash on a Thursday night and then go to the
Speaker 1: Kollara Hotel in Sydney for few years. After that specific week,
Speaker 1: a friend of mine said, hey, mate, you're gonna come
Speaker 1: to the pub this week. I really want to see you.
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, cool, I'm gonna go meet
Speaker 1: you at the pub. Let's have a pub drink. Anyway,
Speaker 1: my dad turns up and there's actually two beautiful women
Speaker 1: that walk in, his friend's girlfriend and his friend's girlfriend's sister.
Speaker 1: So anyway, they just start talking. Dad's like the attraction
Speaker 1: was immediate. It was overwhelming. The next day I called
Speaker 1: her and I asked her out, and she said, no,
Speaker 1: but call me in two weeks because she's like, I've
Speaker 1: got some housekeeping to take care of over here.
Speaker 2: Yep, yeap.
Speaker 1: He didn't know that, so he was like, I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I've been rejected in the past and I've had raging
Speaker 1: success and no one's ever said call me two weeks.
Speaker 1: So he called her in two weeks to the day
Speaker 1: and she said, yes, let's go out. Basically, she had
Speaker 1: to go and break up with her boyfriend. So then
Speaker 1: my dad says, what is it about her that I
Speaker 1: can't do without? She's my best friend. I could not
Speaker 1: be married to anyone else because no other woman would
Speaker 1: ever compare. I would never treat her badly in my
Speaker 1: whole life. That's not to say that it's all been easy.
Speaker 2: It hasn't.
Speaker 1: And I know that there are times over the forty
Speaker 1: five years that the thought of leaving has crossed my mind.
Speaker 1: And although she has never said it directly, I'm positive
Speaker 1: that she has had the same thoughts on occasion. But
Speaker 1: let me tell you this, and you can take this
Speaker 1: to the bank and get interest on it. Anything worth, anything,
Speaker 1: is worth fighting for, not fighting over. The good times
Speaker 1: come and go. But if what you have is truly
Speaker 1: what you desire in your heart of hearts, then you
Speaker 1: have to go through the bad times. If it's worth it.
Speaker 1: You make accommodations. You figure out if what you may
Speaker 1: be giving has more or less value than what you
Speaker 1: are getting back. No one is perfect, no one, But
Speaker 1: if you value enough the end result, you'll go through
Speaker 1: all the shit to get there. She has become so
Speaker 1: much a part of me that I can't separate her
Speaker 1: from me. We have, in some ways separate lives and
Speaker 1: totally separate interests, and I think that's important. But we
Speaker 1: always come back together. If you can understand what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say, I'm bugged.
Speaker 2: If I know, like I said, word simply can't explain it.
Speaker 2: She's everything. Okay, I think my dad had a few beers.
Speaker 2: Can we please kill it?
Speaker 1: Dad his own podcast. There's a separate mic over there.
Speaker 1: We can just pop him in here. There's an end.
Speaker 1: I trust her with everything one hundred percent of the time.
Speaker 1: I know she has my back even when I doubt myself.
Speaker 1: She has been with me when I have swored, and
Speaker 1: she has pulled me from the depths more than once.
Speaker 1: She's the reason I keep getting up when I get
Speaker 1: knocked down. She's the reason I get up every morning
Speaker 1: to train at four thirty am before I do a
Speaker 1: full day's work on a construction site. How can I
Speaker 1: expect such a beautiful woman just to want me if
Speaker 1: I don't try to present the best version of myself
Speaker 1: to her, Literally, everyone's relationship, we should just still pack
Speaker 1: up now and die and then he basically it says
Speaker 1: life has been very kind to me anyway. That was
Speaker 1: love letters from my parents.
Speaker 2: Oh that is Britz crying.
Speaker 1: I'm so lucky to have them, and like, doesn't this
Speaker 1: just make you think that it's out there?
Speaker 2: I mean, I know you've known it's incredible.
Speaker 1: I haven't bloody founded, but look, guys and everyone that's
Speaker 1: listening that single.
Speaker 2: It's out there.
Speaker 1: But I think that was why I wanted to do
Speaker 1: this as a topic for this week as well. So
Speaker 1: after spending the weekend with my grandparents, I'm so lucky
Speaker 1: that I still have my ninety four year old granddad
Speaker 1: and my ninety year old grandma, and they have been
Speaker 1: together and married for sixty nine years, which is just
Speaker 1: the most incredible accomplishment. But they still love each other
Speaker 1: and their lives are completely inseparable from each other. We
Speaker 1: live in a day and age where things are so
Speaker 1: disposable now, and we can be very disposable with people
Speaker 1: and with relationships, But there are relationships and there are
Speaker 1: people that do manage to stand the test of time.
Speaker 1: And I think it's incredible to ask your parents and
Speaker 1: be like why, Like why are you the exception?
Speaker 2: How did you make that work?
Speaker 1: One of the biggest things to take from that is
Speaker 1: this whole idea of the compromise and the compromises that
Speaker 1: you make, and understanding that that person is not perfect
Speaker 1: and you're not perfect, and you're not always right, and
Speaker 1: that you have to sometimes give and take in a
Speaker 1: very fluid nature. Like your dad said, things are worth
Speaker 1: fighting for, they're not worth fighting over exactly. That's such
Speaker 1: a good You nail that, Tonal, Tony, you nail that.
Speaker 1: But it's so true because over the years, of course,
Speaker 1: you're going to change and there are going to be
Speaker 1: times of your relationship where you're going to not be
Speaker 1: able to stand looking at that person. You're gonna be like,
Speaker 1: I just You're just everything you're doing is annoying me.
Speaker 1: It's just like the rollercoaster of life. How could you
Speaker 1: be with someone for forty years or like your grandparents'
Speaker 1: seventy years and not have that moment. But it's about
Speaker 1: sticking in it. Whereas I feel like our generation, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you agree, we tend to things get
Speaker 1: hard and we try, we sort of jump ship a bit.
Speaker 1: Like anything in life, there is the full spectrum of it.
Speaker 1: There are people who do treat it with a much
Speaker 1: more disposable nature, because happiness is something that gets drilled
Speaker 1: into us over and over and again like you should
Speaker 1: be happy, you should always be happy, But the reality
Speaker 1: with life is that you're not always going to be happy.
Speaker 1: Then happiness isn't something that you can have as a constant.
Speaker 1: It's something that's fluid. It comes and it goes. But
Speaker 1: commitment and having companionship, those things are constant. And that's
Speaker 1: like this level of comfort that you can have in
Speaker 1: your relationship that can be a constant. But I think
Speaker 1: because we get drilled into us that you're supposed to
Speaker 1: always be happy, that the minute that we don't feel happy,
Speaker 1: we're like, well.
Speaker 2: Something's wrong.
Speaker 1: I need to change something because I'm not happy right now,
Speaker 1: instead of taking the responsibility back on ourselves to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I'm responsible for my happiness and I.
Speaker 2: Need to work towards getting back to that state.
Speaker 1: In relation to that, I think when we're talking about
Speaker 1: how you know they're the one in that situation, are
Speaker 1: you waking up unhappy and upset and depressed because of
Speaker 1: the way that your partner is treating you? Or are
Speaker 1: you picking up like that and your partner is there
Speaker 1: supporting you and trying to pull you out of it,
Speaker 1: Because that's a really.
Speaker 2: Big indication of Are they the one?
Speaker 1: Are they the one there that's like pulling you up
Speaker 1: off the ground and lifting you up and making you
Speaker 1: feel better?
Speaker 2: Or are they the reason?
Speaker 1: Just to backtrack a little bit, what I would like
Speaker 1: to know from you, Britt, is do you believe in
Speaker 1: a soulmate?
Speaker 3: Oo?
Speaker 1: Okay, so straight up, I call them penguins. I have
Speaker 1: my sister and I have always said, like, we're searching
Speaker 1: for our penguin, could they be your penguin when we're
Speaker 1: talking about the one? Because guys, you may or may
Speaker 1: not know penguins mate for life?
Speaker 2: Do I believe there's one penguin?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I don't, And that might be controversial to a lot
Speaker 1: of people. Obviously, I think that some penguins are more
Speaker 1: suited to you than others. But I think there are
Speaker 1: a lot of people out there in the world that
Speaker 1: you could have a really great life with and that
Speaker 1: can offer you so much and you can you can
Speaker 1: live out your days with. But I don't believe that
Speaker 1: in the seven point five billion people, there.
Speaker 2: Is that one, just that one person.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I believe in a soul connection. I believe that
Speaker 1: you can meet someone and you connect on a level
Speaker 1: that transcends the other connections that you have in your life.
Speaker 1: And that's what I feel like I have with Matt,
Speaker 1: is that I really have a soul connection with him.
Speaker 1: But is there only one soulmate? Is there only one person?
Speaker 1: Like if Matt and I were if we were to
Speaker 1: break up tomorrow because something happened and he didn't want
Speaker 1: to be with me anymore, do I feel like I
Speaker 1: would never ever meet anyone else again? No, I could
Speaker 1: meet somebody else again, and there would offer you something different,
Speaker 1: and it would be different exactly, it would be different.
Speaker 1: You would never replace the exact same thing. But you
Speaker 1: can still build those connections. And that's why people who
Speaker 1: you know, maybe they get divorced or maybe somebody passes
Speaker 1: away in a relationship and they able to remarry a
Speaker 1: second time. I'm sure that there was a point in
Speaker 1: their relationship where they felt like that person was the
Speaker 1: one and that was their soulmate. But you know, life
Speaker 1: is long, and we do sort of go through these
Speaker 1: different phases in life where someone who you think might
Speaker 1: be your soulmate in your twenties may not be your
Speaker 1: soulmate in your thirties or your forties, because you may
Speaker 1: not make those decisions to grow together. And so unless
Speaker 1: you're constantly re checking in throughout your relationship every single
Speaker 1: day and making sure that you're growing together and in
Speaker 1: the same direction, that's why people grow apart. That's why
Speaker 1: things change and people change. It is what happens. I
Speaker 1: think timing is everything as well. Like you know this
Speaker 1: saying that people say like, oh, they were the perfect
Speaker 1: person at.
Speaker 2: The wrong time. If it is the wrong time but
Speaker 2: the right person, it's the wrong person exactly like that.
Speaker 1: Someone said that to me once and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's such a cop out, Like what a load of
Speaker 1: shit because I was I was like, you're just making
Speaker 1: up an excuse. I'm just not the one. Don't say
Speaker 1: I'm the one at the wrong time because the time
Speaker 1: wouldn't matter. This is my opinion, guys. I don't think
Speaker 1: there's ever a right time for anything in life. There's
Speaker 1: always going to be a roadblock or I'll just wait
Speaker 1: till I get past this. I'm so busy right now,
Speaker 1: or let me do this, or let me get myself
Speaker 1: here or whatever. There's never going to be a right time,
Speaker 1: an exact perfect moment for anything.
Speaker 2: You make it, you just do it well.
Speaker 1: It comes down to your priorities, right, Because when something becomes,
Speaker 1: when someone becomes the one, and something becomes the right time,
Speaker 1: the one you want, the kids you want, the marriage
Speaker 1: you want, like you know, the little house on the hill.
Speaker 1: That's because your priorities have shifted in life and you're
Speaker 1: opening yourself up and your life up to make somebody
Speaker 1: the priority. You're making a choice, and that's what makes
Speaker 1: them the one as well. You know, there's so many
Speaker 1: different factors that actually have to fall into place before
Speaker 1: you can get to a point in your life and
Speaker 1: be like, Oh, that person's the one. Maybe you're at
Speaker 1: a point in your relationship where you're like, is this
Speaker 1: person that I'm with the one? Like? What questions can
Speaker 1: someone ask themselves to better define how they're feeling about someone?
Speaker 2: Well, I think a.
Speaker 1: Huge one for me is I want to picture how
Speaker 1: they would be with kids. Would they be a good dad?
Speaker 1: Can I picture them running around the house with what?
Speaker 1: Can I trust them with my kids? Can I see
Speaker 1: them bringing my kids up to be really good humans?
Speaker 1: Like if you can't see them in a father figure
Speaker 1: or I mean as a mother, if you can't see
Speaker 1: her as somebody you would absolutely want to raise your children.
Speaker 2: I think that's a pretty big alarm.
Speaker 1: Like assuming that you want to children, we'll assume in yeah,
Speaker 1: you need to be aligned in your core values and
Speaker 1: what you want in life in order to continue to
Speaker 1: grow together in life. I think that there are it's
Speaker 1: a pretty big deal breaker. Not for me, but I
Speaker 1: think for a lot of people, like kids versus no kids,
Speaker 1: you have to have that conversation because there are a
Speaker 1: few things in life that are like absolutely meaning we're
Speaker 1: not compatible, Like this is black and white. These are
Speaker 1: non negotiables in my life. Yeah, And I think kids,
Speaker 1: for a lot of people, you have to have had
Speaker 1: that conversation because if you want them and they don't, well,
Speaker 1: then like where do you go from there? So I
Speaker 1: think one of the things that I really prize the
Speaker 1: most when I have thought about is this person the one,
Speaker 1: like especially with Matt, when I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: am I going to marry him?
Speaker 2: Am I going to have kids with him?
Speaker 1: Is Matt the one I personally had this like overwhelming
Speaker 1: chemistry and that completely unarmored by him. But one of
Speaker 1: the one of the really big questions they think you
Speaker 1: need to ask yourself if you are wanting to figure
Speaker 1: out whether your partner is the one or not? Is
Speaker 1: not so much about them as a person, but do
Speaker 1: they make you a better person? Like do you like
Speaker 1: the person that you are when you're with them? And
Speaker 1: are you proud of the person that you are when
Speaker 1: you're with them? Because, like we said earlier in this episode,
Speaker 1: some relationships really inflame, you're crazy, and they really make
Speaker 1: you behave in a way that you're not proud of,
Speaker 1: or they make you feel insecure, they make you feel unloved,
Speaker 1: And if somebody is in any way making you feel
Speaker 1: that way, then that's not your person, that's not someone
Speaker 1: who is the one. Because yes, relationships are difficult at times,
Speaker 1: and yes there's something that you need to fight for
Speaker 1: at times, but difficult relationships and hard times should not
Speaker 1: be the normal.
Speaker 2: You should be.
Speaker 1: Wanting to be a better person. I feel like like
Speaker 1: when I'm finally find my penguin, I want to be
Speaker 1: I want them to make me feel like I want
Speaker 1: to do more for them or more for myself, or
Speaker 1: work hard or just be the best version of me,
Speaker 1: bringing out the best parts, not the parts that infuriate
Speaker 1: you or like like you know, because we all have those.
Speaker 1: There is this big push to find the romantic love
Speaker 1: at first site, and I think, you know, it's amazing
Speaker 1: that your parents did have that love at first sight.
Speaker 1: But for some people, in some relationships, it doesn't happen.
Speaker 2: And also for.
Speaker 1: Some personality types, some people aren't driven by these huge
Speaker 1: waves of emotions. Some people are very atypical personality types
Speaker 1: where they're very considered and very methodical in their decision making.
Speaker 1: And I think for those people, they may not have
Speaker 1: the relationship where they're totally bald up their feet from
Speaker 1: first meeting because they just approach things differently. So the
Speaker 1: one can still be a slow burn. It doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be this romanticize like all encompassing love at first
Speaker 1: site experience. It could be somebody that you have been
Speaker 1: with for length of time and then you've gotten to
Speaker 1: a point in your relationship where you're like, Okay, what
Speaker 1: do I want? Where is our life? Where is my
Speaker 1: life going? Is it heading in the right direction with
Speaker 1: this person? And are we ready to settle down. There's
Speaker 1: no right and wrong about what makes someone the one.
Speaker 1: It comes down to the person that you put your
Speaker 1: energy into that makes that person the one. Yes, I
Speaker 1: just got super excited from the point you just made
Speaker 1: Like when you said it's your decision, it's so true.
Speaker 1: I meet people all the time that offer different things,
Speaker 1: that want different things. But for some reason, something inside
Speaker 1: of me is like, I'm making a choice not to
Speaker 1: pursue that. I'm making a choice not to go on
Speaker 1: a second date. I'm making a choice not to turn
Speaker 1: this into relationship. And I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: It's like a core part of you inside that just
Speaker 1: knows one day the time will come where someone will
Speaker 1: be like, let's do this, and I'll be like, you
Speaker 1: know what, Yeah, let's it's timing. I don't think you'd
Speaker 1: ever be with somebody that you have to completely change
Speaker 1: yourself for. And if they're making you feel like you
Speaker 1: need to change, then they're probably not the right person.
Speaker 1: They should be complimenting you. But I'm pretty big on sacrifice.
Speaker 1: I think no relationship will ever come where one person
Speaker 1: doesn't have to sacrifice things for the other. And if
Speaker 1: you find yourself doing that, I think that's a pretty
Speaker 1: big indication that you think they're the one. Because you're like,
Speaker 1: I will go without this because I want you to
Speaker 1: have this. I think that you have to be very
Speaker 1: wary in that situation. That it's not a one sided
Speaker 1: thing and that you're both making sacrifices for the relationship.
Speaker 1: I think that that is what is like an at
Speaker 1: testament to the fact that they're the one, is that
Speaker 1: they're they're equally as willing to make sacrifices at what
Speaker 1: you are. Definitely, because otherwise, I mean, there is absolutely
Speaker 1: the situation out there where it's an unhealthy or toxic imbalance.
Speaker 1: And yes, you may think or you may really want
Speaker 1: that person to be the one, but when you sit
Speaker 1: down and you actually ask yourself the questions, like, one,
Speaker 1: am I a better person when I'm with them? Do
Speaker 1: I like the person that I am when I'm with them?
Speaker 2: Two?
Speaker 1: Do they treat me with respect? Do they love me?
Speaker 1: Do I respect them? Do I love them like? Do
Speaker 1: I feel safe in their company? Do I feel like
Speaker 1: they're committed and they're trustworthy? All of these things and
Speaker 1: all of these questions. If you're answering no to any
Speaker 1: of them, then it kind of avoids how you feel
Speaker 1: about them and whether you think they're the one. If
Speaker 1: you can't answer yes to all of those questions, then
Speaker 1: they're not the one. Because what's that perfect meme that's
Speaker 1: like going around. If a guy is constantly making you cry,
Speaker 1: he's not your fucking soul mate. Like, he's not your
Speaker 1: soul mate?
Speaker 2: Is that a meme? I just think we said that,
Speaker 2: didn't we. No, I've definitely seen it on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes we want something so bad that we're
Speaker 1: willing to ignore the red flags and we're willing to
Speaker 1: just completely be blind sided because of what we want.
Speaker 1: And you have to sometimes step outside of yourself and
Speaker 1: ask yourself those questions and really sit down and be
Speaker 1: honest with yourself and go, Okay, well, yes, he may
Speaker 1: be the one for me that I think, but I'm
Speaker 1: clearly not the one for him because he's not treating
Speaker 1: me in the way that I deserve to be treated, in.
Speaker 2: Which case, cut that shit and run. Girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Your partner needs to meet you halfway. You're not going
Speaker 1: to be constantly blown off your feet every single day.
Speaker 1: In a relationship, things spiral up, and they spiral down,
Speaker 1: and they spiral back up again, like you have to
Speaker 1: have the ebbs and flows, so long as underlying there
Speaker 1: is this really deep seated love for each other and
Speaker 1: you feel more for them than what you have for
Speaker 1: your past relationships, you can't expect perfection is what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say. You're never going to get perfection in
Speaker 1: a relationship, exactly like your dad said. No one is perfect,
Speaker 1: it's just us. I'm sorry, nice. I think when you
Speaker 1: find the one, it's it's when they do shit that
Speaker 1: pisses you off and you're still okay.
Speaker 2: And you let it fly where she wouldn't. Is that
Speaker 2: the same You let it fly, you let it slide,
Speaker 2: let it go.
Speaker 1: But I guess you could let it fly as well.
Speaker 1: Probably not like a penguin, though, No, they can't fly.
Speaker 2: They can't get off the ground. Thank you, Brett. That
Speaker 2: was the point I was making, Thank you, David. The
Speaker 2: penguin cannot fly, he does not get off the ground.
Speaker 1: So I was doing some research and there is a
Speaker 1: lady called Levi and Kooka. She's a relationship dating. Wait,
Speaker 1: you did some research for this episode? I always do it, babes.
Speaker 1: They just talk about the horizontal dance of love aka
Speaker 1: sexy times. Basically, they're just saying a sure fire away
Speaker 1: to know that someone is the one is when it
Speaker 1: doesn't just become about sex. Like so the beginning of
Speaker 1: a relationship, you can't keep your hands of each other.
Speaker 1: You know, the infatuations there are so much last and
Speaker 1: you just want to do it every way, which way, place, location,
Speaker 1: time of day.
Speaker 2: I'm so tired.
Speaker 1: That lets me tired thinking about it. But they're saying that,
Speaker 1: like when it gets to the point where you want
Speaker 1: to just hang out and talk like you and Matt did,
Speaker 1: yeah on Valentine's to turn the TV off and the
Speaker 1: screen time off and just have a good chat.
Speaker 2: Well that's how they note.
Speaker 1: That's a sign you can be around each other and
Speaker 1: everything you plan doesn't be around sex. Everything you plan
Speaker 1: becomes about actually spending quality time together. And that's because
Speaker 1: you've moved into the next phase. It's marrying your best friend.
Speaker 1: It's finding someone who you can spend every day with
Speaker 1: and you don't get sick of their company. I genuinely
Speaker 1: don't get sick of Matt's company, and that's kind of
Speaker 1: so gross. But I could spend every day with him
Speaker 1: and we hang out doing nothing. We hang out doing
Speaker 1: like whatever. It doesn't need to be anything exciting, but
Speaker 1: I genuinely enjoy being around his company all the time.
Speaker 1: It's like my mom and dad said, the key to
Speaker 1: their relationship is that they're best friends, and they still
Speaker 1: date nights. They still actually put in the effort. My
Speaker 1: dad will still write love letters to my mum and
Speaker 1: leave them on the kitchen table. It might be like
Speaker 1: three sentences long, but he'll still do that. They still
Speaker 1: walk down to the beach of a night and walk
Speaker 1: the dogs and hold hands. They might not even be talking,
Speaker 1: but they're putting in the effort to be together and
Speaker 1: just doing life. What do you think about open relationships?
Speaker 1: People that date multiple they both agree to it, so.
Speaker 2: I like polyamori.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well no, like someone wrote in and we haven't
Speaker 1: talked about it yet, but so basically she was just
Speaker 1: saying that, like once a year, they have a hall
Speaker 1: pass for each other so they can they're allowed to
Speaker 1: go and hook up with somebody.
Speaker 2: And they've been together for a long time.
Speaker 1: They love each other, but it's almost like a get
Speaker 1: your fantasy out of the way and then come back
Speaker 1: to me, and they don't talk. They have like rules
Speaker 1: where they know that once a year they do it,
Speaker 1: but they don't talk about it, and then they just
Speaker 1: get on with their life.
Speaker 2: What do you think about that? Oh, man, I.
Speaker 1: Think different strokes with different folks like that can work
Speaker 1: for that literally so punny. I think that that could
Speaker 1: work for some people. You'd have to be very like
Speaker 1: a not jealous type of person at all in order
Speaker 1: for that to be able to be sustainable.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I couldn't see.
Speaker 1: I couldn't see myself being in that situation and feeling
Speaker 1: fulfillment from it, because personally, like, I'm not so sexually
Speaker 1: driven that I need to go out and explore to
Speaker 1: in order to be feeling satisfied, Like, I get that
Speaker 1: satisfaction from my relationship in totally. And if Matt was
Speaker 1: to come to me and say that he wanted to
Speaker 1: have an open relationship one day a year, would I
Speaker 1: would throw a huge spanner in the works because it
Speaker 1: would mean that our call values unaligned.
Speaker 2: It's not what I want for my relationship. Well, that's
Speaker 2: the thing.
Speaker 1: These two are aligned. They're saying they both do it
Speaker 1: in which case amazing for them. At the start, when
Speaker 1: I heard it, I was like, oh, that's I'm not
Speaker 1: here for that. But the more I've sad on it,
Speaker 1: because it was weeks ago that I've been thinking about
Speaker 1: it and I thought we should actually talk about it,
Speaker 1: the more I think about it, I'm like, do you
Speaker 1: know what, fifty years is a long time to be
Speaker 1: one person. I get why sometimes people are like I
Speaker 1: wonder after twenty years, wonder.
Speaker 2: What it would be like.
Speaker 1: But if you're on equal terms and you both like
Speaker 1: for that one day, go do it and then come back,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's sort of.
Speaker 2: I would never do it, but I get it. I
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: I am trying to take a more open, like look
Speaker 1: at life and people's opinions, and like I have really
Speaker 1: tried to understand this couple, and I understand it.
Speaker 2: It's not for me, but I get it for them.
Speaker 2: I don't think of myself as a jealous person, but
Speaker 2: I think I'm think you are from what you have
Speaker 2: told me. Hey, I'm not jealous.
Speaker 1: I've just been cheated on, that's yeah, So like put
Speaker 1: you in a different position really, so like I'm not
Speaker 1: jealous now, Like I mean, I don't ever question Matt's actions,
Speaker 1: but you know, like we've said in past relationships, people's
Speaker 1: people's behavior and being lied to and that betrayal because.
Speaker 2: You feel me jealous totally.
Speaker 1: And I love the fact that we're at a point
Speaker 1: in our relationship where we're it's so comfortable, like where
Speaker 1: we're best friends. And where we've gone from that intense
Speaker 1: first part of the relationship where you like it's so
Speaker 1: heightened and a bit crazy and you feel a bit
Speaker 1: like out of your body in love with someone, to
Speaker 1: being in a space where where talk about anything, like
Speaker 1: nothing is off limits in our house. Do you remember
Speaker 1: or do you know was there like a time where
Speaker 1: you were like, oh my god, this isn't just a
Speaker 1: guy I'm dating from National television, this is the one
Speaker 1: Like do you have a moment for you where you
Speaker 1: were like, I think this is forever?
Speaker 2: Was it on the batch or was it after? For us?
Speaker 1: It was weird, I think because almost because like we
Speaker 1: had had that very very intense first like part of
Speaker 1: our relationship, and the thing with being in that experience
Speaker 1: is that it's kind of like you against the world.
Speaker 1: Like when we had finished the show, I really felt
Speaker 1: like our relationship was really galvanized by almost by people
Speaker 1: being like.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna make it.
Speaker 1: Like the negative comments made us bend together even more
Speaker 1: because it made us kind of go, Okay, well, we've
Speaker 1: made a solid commitment to this, like let's give this
Speaker 1: a full one hundred percent shot. So I never ever
Speaker 1: questioned Matt's intentions about whether or not he was in it.
Speaker 1: Once we were in the real world, we could actually
Speaker 1: spend time together properly, and we knew that our core
Speaker 1: values were aligned and we knew that your best mates.
Speaker 1: As soon as those things had kind of been really solidified,
Speaker 1: and I knew that they were real because of his
Speaker 1: actions and not just because of his words, that was
Speaker 1: when I was like, oh, like this is this is it?
Speaker 2: Like I am, I have no doubt.
Speaker 1: And so we had only really been together for maybe
Speaker 1: six months after the show when we were talking like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know that you're the person I'm gonna have kids with.
Speaker 1: I know that you're the person I'm gonna marry. And
Speaker 1: I've never been in that situation so quickly before. But
Speaker 1: we were just one hundred percent on the same page.
Speaker 1: And I never ever doubted his commitment to us.
Speaker 2: Ever.
Speaker 1: You just got there. You don't know how you got there,
Speaker 1: but one day you were just there. But that's not
Speaker 1: to say like when we first met, I still had
Speaker 1: that that instant chemistry. I still had this feeling of like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're going to be a big part of my life.
Speaker 1: Like when you meet someone and you just know, you
Speaker 1: just know that's something with Nick No.
Speaker 2: I remember meeting him, like exactly what you just said.
Speaker 1: I remember meeting him the first day and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're going to be someone in my life.
Speaker 1: Like there's something there. There is no way that this
Speaker 1: is not something. I just think I got really lucky
Speaker 1: with Matt in that, you know, the things he said
Speaker 1: he wanted, he actually genuinely wanted in the real world,
Speaker 1: whereas I have definitely had past relationships where like a
Speaker 1: guy who I dated for almost six years, who I
Speaker 1: was convinced I was going to marry when I first
Speaker 1: met him. I went home and I said to my sister,
Speaker 1: I met the man I'm going to marry tonight. And
Speaker 1: I pursued that relationship and I tried so hard to
Speaker 1: make it work, regardless of the fact that it was
Speaker 1: pretty toxic because of the chemistry and because of this
Speaker 1: overwhelming initial initial like initial feeling that I'd had that
Speaker 1: he was the one.
Speaker 2: I guess guess what, He's not the one.
Speaker 1: He is nowhere on site now, guys, I was wrong,
Speaker 1: and you can be wrong about that.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: Oh so my dad said that after he met my
Speaker 1: mum on that one night he went home to his mom.
Speaker 2: He literally went home and he.
Speaker 1: Said, Mom, I just met the girl I'm going to marry.
Speaker 1: He called it after an hour and she was like,
Speaker 1: how do you know?
Speaker 2: He said, I don't know. I just know, Like he said,
Speaker 2: I can't even tell you. But he walked in.
Speaker 1: The door and was like, I am going to marry her.
Speaker 1: My mom said the same thing. She said, I knew
Speaker 1: after that night that what I thought was right. She'd
Speaker 1: been with this guy for two years, right, and she
Speaker 1: thought she was going to spend a life with him
Speaker 1: until she met my dad, and then she's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is, but I have to end
Speaker 1: my relationship and I've got to go be with this person,
Speaker 1: and I have to be.
Speaker 2: With this person. So I guess that there is really
Speaker 2: it happens.
Speaker 1: And I'm not being so cynical as to say that
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen and that love at first sight is
Speaker 1: not real. It one hundred percent is real, and one
Speaker 1: hundred percent does happen for some people. What I'm saying
Speaker 1: is that we can't expect that as the normal for everyone. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: if you're out there expecting that your one and only
Speaker 1: the one is going to be a love at first
Speaker 1: side experience and you're going to know straight off the bat,
Speaker 1: then you're really doing yourself a disservice. I think that
Speaker 1: that experience is totally the exception.
Speaker 2: It's not the normal one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: It's going to be a long winter if you think,
Speaker 1: wonderful for you and just like be swept off your feet.
Speaker 1: But I do think we've been sold this from like
Speaker 1: this Disney fantasy of what the one is, and that
Speaker 1: sometimes we need to step back and have perspective and go,
Speaker 1: you know, it is okay for it to be the
Speaker 1: slow burn. Everyone's relationships can start in different ways, and
Speaker 1: I think if you have tunnel vision about how it
Speaker 1: needs to be, you're only limiting yourself from having something
Speaker 1: that could be incredibly fulfilling in the long run. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I guess, like I guess to wrap it up,
Speaker 1: if you're thinking if someone could be the one, the
Speaker 1: questions you're gonna ask yourself, Let's think, are your values aligned?
Speaker 1: Do you want families at the same time? Do they
Speaker 1: make you feel like you're being the best version of yourself?
Speaker 1: Do they make you want to be a better person?
Speaker 1: Do you like the person that you are when you're
Speaker 1: with them. Do you trust them? Are they kind to you?
Speaker 2: Do you feel safe?
Speaker 1: Do they acknowledge you and make you feel valued every day?
Speaker 1: All of those things if you can answer yes to
Speaker 1: those questions, and you can answer them yes from yourself
Speaker 1: and also yes from them back towards you and baby,
Speaker 1: I think you found the one. You got your penguin
Speaker 1: got your peg so peng what they what they actually
Speaker 1: do is when they decide that can you say?
Speaker 2: In the David Attenborough Boys.
Speaker 3: Okay, when the male penguin actually decides that he has
Speaker 3: found the one, he will search deeper, day and night,
Speaker 3: all over the land to find a pebble. Once he
Speaker 3: finds the perfect pebble, he presents it to the feet
Speaker 3: of his female penguin. It is essentially an engagement ring
Speaker 3: if if she chooses to accept the pebble, they will
Speaker 3: spend the rest of their life together.
Speaker 1: How was that?
Speaker 2: That was really beautiful? Thank you? All right?
Speaker 1: We always rapped the episode with our little segments Stuck
Speaker 1: and Sweet, where we just break down the week and
Speaker 1: talk about the best and worst things that have happened
Speaker 1: to us, the highlights and the low lights. As you
Speaker 1: will Brittany, what was your low light? Oh, so lend
Speaker 1: me you're a suck baby girl. Look I had a
Speaker 1: solid suck this week. Actually, sometimes might a really insignificant
Speaker 1: like the last Magnum was eaten by someone. I feel
Speaker 1: like most people have like a week where things are
Speaker 1: generally pretty good, and then you have like a very
Speaker 1: benign suck, and then sometimes you're gonna have a real
Speaker 1: life suck. So I have been working like an absolute
Speaker 1: boss lately, and I don't talk about it a lot.
Speaker 1: No one really even knows I work. Half the time,
Speaker 1: I just put on my Instagram because caause everyone just
Speaker 1: thinks you're an influencer. I know my Instagram this week
Speaker 1: because I get so many people like do you even work?
Speaker 1: And I got so frustrated because I was like, if
Speaker 1: only you knew. Anyway, a lot of my nights at work,
Speaker 1: I get home from the hospital at I'll get home
Speaker 1: at one am. When I work, I am the lead
Speaker 1: ct radiographer of emergency, so like I, when I get there,
Speaker 1: I have to be the.
Speaker 2: Boss of people and I have to be there.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I got home really late, like midnight, twelve thirty,
Speaker 1: and I'm just having I was so exhausted. The shift
Speaker 1: was so bad, like so intense. I cried at work,
Speaker 1: not in front of anyone. I had to go behind
Speaker 1: the door and these two roll like tears rolled out
Speaker 1: of my eyes, and I was like, oky, get back
Speaker 1: together and get back out there. But also, like your
Speaker 1: work working in emergency, when you have a bad day
Speaker 1: at work, it really shits on everybody else's bad day
Speaker 1: at work and puts everyone else's day in perspective. Like
Speaker 1: a bad day when you work in emergency in a
Speaker 1: hospital is a freaking bad day. Yeah, it can just
Speaker 1: get it can be tough, and you never know in
Speaker 1: a hospital and in emergency, you don't know what your
Speaker 1: day is going to be like and might be cruisy
Speaker 1: and that's great because people aren't having accidents, or it
Speaker 1: could just go to shit. Anyway, this was like a
Speaker 1: ten hour shift and it was horrible. I couldn't scratch myself,
Speaker 1: I couldn't have a sip of water. And I'm not
Speaker 1: even exaggerating. People that work in it will know. I
Speaker 1: had these two tears roll out. Got back together, I did.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: I got home and I was exhausted, and I was
Speaker 1: supposed to be back at work in the morning, like
Speaker 1: not in like six hours or something. Anyway, I'm having
Speaker 1: the time of my life in bed like I was
Speaker 1: in the deeper.
Speaker 2: Tell us more about it.
Speaker 1: Oh No, it was like I was passed out unconscious.
Speaker 1: I had my eye mask on, I'd had lavender. I
Speaker 1: sprayed lavender on my pillow, like I was knocked out cold.
Speaker 1: And I wake up to my phone vibrate and I
Speaker 1: look at my message and it's my boss, like the
Speaker 1: big boss, and she's like, hey, brute, just thought i'd
Speaker 1: check if you're all right. Where are you, et cetera,
Speaker 1: because you were supposed to be the lead in ed
Speaker 1: at seven am.
Speaker 2: And I look at the time and it's eight am.
Speaker 2: Two more tears came out of my eyes.
Speaker 1: I was like, in the Northern Beaches, I feel like
Speaker 1: you need to drink some more water. If you're only
Speaker 1: able to squeeze two tears at babe, I was just like.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I just rode back and I said, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I've never slept through an alarm in my life. It
Speaker 1: just goes to show you how a tea that was.
Speaker 1: I was like, I will I literally rolled out of
Speaker 1: bed grab my makeup bag because no one needed to
Speaker 1: see me how I looked.
Speaker 2: Put my scrubs on, and I was out the door.
Speaker 2: I got there in an hour.
Speaker 1: And everyone at worked that day, every single person, even
Speaker 1: the doctors, were like, are you all right? You look frazzled,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I'm just not wearing makeup. No,
Speaker 1: it was I hadn't brushed my hair, I hadn't done anything.
Speaker 1: I didn't even have shower. I just rolled out of
Speaker 1: a pen and got to work and like had to
Speaker 1: run the day again. And it was the worst, the
Speaker 1: worst at forty eight hours of my life. Not my
Speaker 1: life exaggeration, but it was bad.
Speaker 2: That was my suck. Not as bad as.
Speaker 1: The people who were coming into emergency. Like that's some
Speaker 1: good perspective, exactly. And I knew, like, I'm having a
Speaker 1: shit day. But guess what, at least I'm not on
Speaker 1: the other side of the counter, the counter, the desk,
Speaker 1: the radiography box. Who knows I am very sciency guys.
Speaker 1: Well then my sweet was my sister, who you may
Speaker 1: or may not know. She's my best friend, but I
Speaker 1: work with her as well. She works in d with me.
Speaker 1: Do we do the same thing? She had known the
Speaker 1: days that I had been through. She'd known that I'd
Speaker 1: been having a really bad time. And I got home
Speaker 1: from work after that second day and on my doorstep
Speaker 1: was like this delivery of chocolate underwear, a photo framed
Speaker 1: of us, like I had a little gift box of
Speaker 1: stuff and it was just the nicest thing. She goes
Speaker 1: to me, Okay, I get that the undies are weird,
Speaker 1: She's like, but they're super comfy, so just roll with it.
Speaker 2: I was like, brill, I'm in. I'm down for whatever
Speaker 2: right now, ladies, let's go.
Speaker 1: But also what I will say is I let myself
Speaker 1: sit in a bad day for a very short time
Speaker 1: and I put into perspective. But for me this week,
Speaker 1: I remember calling you and I was like, I've had
Speaker 1: this shit a day and then you talked me through
Speaker 1: your week and I was like, oh cool, I'm good.
Speaker 2: I was like, I am fucking good. So it's about
Speaker 2: putting it. You's like to be the benchmark for people
Speaker 2: to be like.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, your life is fucked mine
Speaker 1: it's fine.
Speaker 2: But it was like no, and I guess like, I mean,
Speaker 2: you can talk about what you like, but you, for
Speaker 2: me this week, put it back into perspective.
Speaker 1: Plus Fortnite has not been particularly good. I will we
Speaker 1: will actually do an episode in a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: time about some stuff that's been going on and which
Speaker 1: was the main reason why I wasn't able to we
Speaker 1: weren't able to bring you our episode on Thursday last week.
Speaker 1: Not ready to fully go into it just yet, but
Speaker 1: it's some pretty important life stuff that Matt and I
Speaker 1: are going through, and it's also something that I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people will be able to relate to.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, that's something we'll talk about in a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks time. But that has definitely been an overarching
Speaker 1: thing in my life at the moment. Also, then on
Speaker 1: top of that, my grandfather being really really sick, so
Speaker 1: us going down to Wollongong and having to be by
Speaker 1: his bedside was really hard. But in saying that, you know,
Speaker 1: I also completely value the time that I get to
Speaker 1: spend with him and the fact that I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: that as a thirty four year old woman, I'm able
Speaker 1: to still have my ninety four year old grandfather and
Speaker 1: father figure in my life.
Speaker 2: But absolutely, and.
Speaker 1: That's so nice that you can take that moment to
Speaker 1: appreciate how lucky you've been the fact that you know,
Speaker 1: I was able to see him before he isn't with
Speaker 1: us anymore, and he was able to say the things
Speaker 1: he wanted to say to me and was cognizant enough
Speaker 1: to be able to actually say some really important things.
Speaker 1: That was That was my sweet of the week as
Speaker 1: well as myself. Yeah, obviously real life hits you and
Speaker 1: I guess you know. We'd started this podcast because we
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about the small things and the big
Speaker 1: thing with you guys, and talk about the shit that
Speaker 1: happens in life that you know, we can't escape. Laura
Speaker 1: called me during the week and answered. And you know
Speaker 1: when as soon as you hear one word from a person,
Speaker 1: you're like, something bad is happening along it's just your
Speaker 1: voice and you I remember because I started crying down
Speaker 1: the phone too. You were crying and all you said
Speaker 1: was I just can't imagine not having him here, Like
Speaker 1: that's all you said, and it just I just I
Speaker 1: felt I felt that for you, And.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 1: It's funny because we all know, like life, guys, it's pressures,
Speaker 1: and we all know that for every single one of us.
Speaker 1: It's crazy to think it's going to come to an end,
Speaker 1: isn't it. But you, Laura, can take some salacing knowing that, like,
Speaker 1: you are so close with him and you've had an
Speaker 1: amazing life with him, and he has had a long,
Speaker 1: amazing life and absolutely and that's the thing, right, Like
Speaker 1: he's lived the most insanely amazing life and has had
Speaker 1: a you know, his minanner and a partner by his
Speaker 1: side for sixty nine years who just adores him and like,
Speaker 1: I can only hope that I have that in my
Speaker 1: life when I'm his age. So yeah, that was my
Speaker 1: that was my suck and my sweet this week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and guys, it was a bit of a bit of
Speaker 1: a sad one. Normally we're pretty lighthearted in all this,
Speaker 1: but it's funny kind of just set to each other,
Speaker 1: didn't we What do we say? Well, like you just said,
Speaker 1: I just feel like this was really quite a serious
Speaker 1: week for us, and like even the episode, but like
Speaker 1: sometimes life will be like that.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you and I.
Speaker 1: Are going to be ridiculous and silly. And you know,
Speaker 1: someone wrote into me and told me my humor was immature. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I will try to have a more mature sense of
Speaker 1: humor for you. I love your Lolo Debby immature here,
Speaker 1: but like and you're absolute seven year old. More than
Speaker 1: some weeks, life is going to be more serious and
Speaker 1: we are going to be talking about heavier things.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Sometimes life just fucking smacks you down, And you
Speaker 1: know what it's it's how you deal with these situations
Speaker 1: in life, and it's I think the biggest part of
Speaker 1: it is trying to find the best bits in the
Speaker 1: shitty parts. You know, there's always, no matter what what's
Speaker 1: happening in life, no matter how gray and awful it
Speaker 1: might seem at certain times, there is always something that
Speaker 1: you can take that's positive from it if you look
Speaker 1: for that.
Speaker 2: I really truly believe that.
Speaker 1: Anyways, guys, thanks for listening to another episode. Sorry that
Speaker 1: we've got a bit deep there at the end. I
Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed it. Guys, you know the drill. If
Speaker 1: you have any questions for Ask Uncut, which will be
Speaker 1: coming out on Thursday, then send us your meaty, deep,
Speaker 1: dark and dirty questions to our Instagram page, which is
Speaker 1: at Life Uncut podcast. Slide on in there, Britt. We'll
Speaker 1: get back to you when she has the time. I'm
Speaker 1: trying and we will pick out some super relatable, very
Speaker 1: juicy questions to answer on this week's episode of Ask Guncut,
Speaker 1: So make sure you come at us with some good
Speaker 1: ask questions. So, guys, if you have loved this EPP
Speaker 1: or you love our other epps as well, please hit subscribe.
Speaker 2: Subscribe is very important.
Speaker 1: It's what helps us get seen and grow and keep
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Speaker 2: Leave us a review.
Speaker 1: We read every single review and we freaking love every
Speaker 1: single person who has left us a review. And I'm
Speaker 1: bringing some mature humor. Said no, Brittany ever, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: please don'tbe it.
Speaker 2: Were an idiot? Lola di Loo.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh you're on board, Lola, but I don't have
Speaker 1: any more go and Arthur heaps more, but I'm going
Speaker 1: to drop them sporadically.
Speaker 2: Please don't. Okay, So yeah, go enjoy your day.
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