Speaker 1: Hi Heart Podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
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Speaker 2: Good Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn. Brady your worth,
Speaker 2: our windows down. That's my worries in the dust. Only
Speaker 2: good fabs are all down.
Speaker 1: I don't much, but yeah, I'll big get and what
Speaker 1: I want.
Speaker 2: It don't matter where.
Speaker 1: This is the picker, Hi guys, it's Britt hopefully and
Speaker 1: Laura Burn and the pick up and it's hump Day.
Speaker 2: It is humped age.
Speaker 1: You know what, though, I feel like this is kind
Speaker 1: of exciting news in my life.
Speaker 2: Probably no one else cares about it. I don't care.
Speaker 2: I care, and probably four other people at least at
Speaker 2: least people in my immediate family care about this. What's
Speaker 2: going on.
Speaker 1: We've been we've been really tossing up baby names, like
Speaker 1: what we should call this new baby, and we've not
Speaker 1: been able to decide on it.
Speaker 2: We talked about it the other week, how I.
Speaker 1: Threw out some names with my friends and family and
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of knocked back.
Speaker 2: Put it that way, So have you come to terms
Speaker 2: with one?
Speaker 1: With you and Matt, we already kind of had settled
Speaker 1: on the first name. We're both pretty unanimously really like
Speaker 1: one of the names that had been in the mix.
Speaker 2: So that's the name that we've settled on. Ok where
Speaker 2: a hundred where a Hundi baby?
Speaker 3: Like what if it's born and then all of a
Speaker 3: sudden it doesn't look like the name you've locked in.
Speaker 1: Nah. I know some people talk about that, but I
Speaker 1: find that odd because all babies kind of look a
Speaker 1: bit weird, like no babies, no babies shoot out and
Speaker 1: you're like, that looks like a David, But then when
Speaker 1: they're a grown up man, they might.
Speaker 2: Look like a David. Oh yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I guess I've never had a baby.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we've picked a name, and we've always picked
Speaker 1: names before birth.
Speaker 3: I know people do it different, any clues, like mainstream different,
Speaker 3: Like where would you place it in the.
Speaker 1: I think a little bit old fashion kind of like
Speaker 1: so Marley is a bit old fashioned, Lola is a
Speaker 1: little bit old fashioned. It's kuldbig Daphne, but it's not. No,
Speaker 1: we didn't know what to do for a middle name.
Speaker 1: We haven't been out to decide because we've already used
Speaker 1: all of the sentimental family names and our other kids,
Speaker 1: so now we're at the bottom of the barrel when
Speaker 1: it comes to middle names. So we thought a nice
Speaker 1: way of getting the kids involved to be part of
Speaker 1: the process of us having a third baby would be
Speaker 1: to ask them what they would want to name the
Speaker 1: baby if they could choose a middle name.
Speaker 3: Just keep it in mind to all of those listening there.
Speaker 3: Five and four, five and four.
Speaker 2: They came up with a middle name that and I
Speaker 2: both thought it was very sweet. We liked it.
Speaker 1: It flows really nicely with the first name. But then
Speaker 1: we discovered it's actually a Disney character. Okay, so all right,
Speaker 1: interesting Disney process.
Speaker 2: Disney, there's yeah, there's your clue, don't old.
Speaker 3: I was trying to think of one, and I just
Speaker 3: the first thing came to away was black white, and
Speaker 3: I was like, that's not it.
Speaker 2: So right, yeah, but no, I don't know what. It's
Speaker 2: been a while since I've watched Disney, I must admit.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Look, we've picked a middle name, we picked a
Speaker 1: first name, and then you know, she's just gonna be
Speaker 1: a Johnson, run of the mill once again, be the
Speaker 1: only burn in the family.
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't wait to hear all about that.
Speaker 1: We had quite a big conversation our podcast this week
Speaker 1: Life on Cut podcast.
Speaker 2: And also privately.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's well, I mean, as two people who
Speaker 1: are not only co hosting together, like we asked such
Speaker 1: good friends and a conversation we've had to navigate recently
Speaker 1: was me telling you that I was pregnant with number
Speaker 1: three and to kind of like let you guys in
Speaker 1: on our friendship over the last six years. Like Britta
Speaker 1: and I, we've been so entwined in each other's lives
Speaker 1: for the last six years.
Speaker 2: I see britt more than I see in my husband.
Speaker 1: And evidence of that is the fact that, like for
Speaker 1: baby number one and baby number two, and also for
Speaker 1: the two miscarriages that I've had in between, Britt, as
Speaker 1: one of my best friends, was the first person I
Speaker 1: told that I was pregnant. She was also the first
Speaker 1: person I told when I was going through miscarriages, even
Speaker 1: before I told my husband.
Speaker 2: And something about it's a bit of a flex. I know,
Speaker 2: I love it, like I'm like, yeah, I'm the number one.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I don't think Matt loves it
Speaker 1: as much as you don't.
Speaker 2: One, No, I also get that.
Speaker 1: I get that, but you know there's been a big
Speaker 1: gap between my last baby and this pregnancy, and a
Speaker 1: lot of things have happened and changed in your life,
Speaker 1: brit You've been through your own fertility struggles. You frozen eggs,
Speaker 1: you've frozen embryos, You've had your own negative pregnancy tests
Speaker 1: at a time when I'm sure you were hopeful that
Speaker 1: they were going to be positive. And it felt like
Speaker 1: a very different conversation this time telling you and I
Speaker 1: knew you were going to be excited for it, and
Speaker 1: I knew you were going to be happy for me,
Speaker 1: but knowing that that might also cause some sadness in
Speaker 1: you at the same time. And the reason why we
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about this is because so much of
Speaker 1: what we talk about on our podcast is around female friendship,
Speaker 1: and these are the conversations that so many women have
Speaker 1: to navigate and navigate sensitively with the people they love
Speaker 1: in their life when maybe their experience in a pregnancy,
Speaker 1: knowing that their friends are not in a similar state
Speaker 1: or able to knowing that some people go through pregnancy loss,
Speaker 1: and how do you do it in a way that
Speaker 1: holds space while also allowing yourself to be happy for
Speaker 1: the news that you carry and Laura.
Speaker 3: And and I obviously had our conversations in private before
Speaker 3: we had them on the podcast Life on Card.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing, like we often do everything with
Speaker 1: Mike's on because it's nice to get everyone's like real
Speaker 1: reaction to.
Speaker 2: Something, but not this kind of stuff. Yeah, and I
Speaker 2: didn't know what that reaction would be.
Speaker 3: Of course, my first overwhelming feeling was happiness and excitement.
Speaker 2: Sadness didn't even end to my brain like there were
Speaker 2: tears as well.
Speaker 3: It came later, for sure, and you feel it. But
Speaker 3: this is why I say you can feel two things
Speaker 3: at once, because I would hate And this was something
Speaker 3: that we did talk about.
Speaker 2: Laura.
Speaker 3: You said that you had almost a level of anxiety
Speaker 3: about telling me because you know that is going to
Speaker 3: come with a whole bunch of feelings that are nobody's fault,
Speaker 3: not mine and not yours, but they're still going to
Speaker 3: be present. When I heard how much you would, I
Speaker 3: don't want to say struggling to.
Speaker 2: Have the conversation. That hurt me even more.
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying I'm not blaming that on you,
Speaker 3: but me thinking, oh my god, my friends don't even
Speaker 3: feel like they can tell me their most exciting I
Speaker 3: hate that, and I never want my friends to feel
Speaker 3: like anything I'm going through means that they can't have
Speaker 3: that conversation with me.
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean I'm not gonna have.
Speaker 3: All the big feelings totally, but it almost in a
Speaker 3: way can isolate that person even more, Like I don't
Speaker 3: feel like I can come to you anymore is something
Speaker 3: in a friendship that is also really hard to hear.
Speaker 3: And I know that you're not saying you don't feel
Speaker 3: like you can come to me, And it's so important
Speaker 3: that you do consider your friends feelings like you did.
Speaker 3: I definitely think you did it the right way.
Speaker 2: I guess for me as well.
Speaker 1: And it's a unique situation because obviously we work together
Speaker 1: and we are very very close friends. People do talk
Speaker 1: about third baby a bit differently to first and second. Yeah,
Speaker 1: first and second, I think is often met with excitement
Speaker 1: and third is met with a bit of like, what
Speaker 1: are you doing?
Speaker 2: And so I.
Speaker 1: Definitely felt as though I had to be more conscious
Speaker 1: around how I navigated third pregnancy conversations, even from like
Speaker 1: a work perspective, because I was like a working I
Speaker 1: think I take my job seriously when I'm just out
Speaker 1: here pumping up babies at the same time. But I
Speaker 1: agree completely with everything you said, Britt. I also think
Speaker 1: that there's another feeling that comes into play with these commons,
Speaker 1: and it's from my side or from the person who
Speaker 1: is able to have a pregnancy. There's a feeling of
Speaker 1: guilt when you know that you have friends in your
Speaker 1: life who you love deeply and endlessly and they are struggling.
Speaker 1: There's a feeling of guilt that it's come easily and
Speaker 1: that you're not able to fix that problem for your friend,
Speaker 1: and as much as you can hold space for it,
Speaker 1: it's like navigating both of those things simultaneously is also
Speaker 1: quite a complex feeling, And I know that there are
Speaker 1: women who, when they see the happy pregnancy announcement on Instagram,
Speaker 1: are in a place where it's really really hard for
Speaker 1: them and they might need to block or mute or
Speaker 1: create some space around themselves for their own protection. But
Speaker 1: that's also why I think it's always been so important
Speaker 1: to us anytime that we have had conversations around pregnancy,
Speaker 1: we've also spoken about pregnancy loss, which has been an
Speaker 1: intrinsic part of my pregnancy journey, is having multiple miscarriages.
Speaker 1: So I do think that sometimes talking about the things
Speaker 1: that are not so spoken about publicly is the antidote
Speaker 1: for both the guilt and the sadness, knowing that everyone's
Speaker 1: kind of going through their own unique fertility journey and
Speaker 1: motherhood journey at the same time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's a tricky conversation to have with your friends,
Speaker 3: especially if there is someone that has been going through
Speaker 3: it for years. And we also had this a really
Speaker 3: brilliant conversation on Life un Cut podcast with Tania Hennessy,
Speaker 3: So if you guys want to listen to that, she
Speaker 3: speaks so openly about it and so beautifully about it.
Speaker 2: But navigating is really tricky.
Speaker 3: But what I will say is something being a hard
Speaker 3: conversation doesn't mean you shouldn't have it. It just means
Speaker 3: you treat it with a little bit more care. But absolutely, yeah,
Speaker 3: remember it's okay to have all these feelings all at once.
Speaker 1: If you ask someone who is struggling with this at
Speaker 1: the moment, or you're going through it in your own
Speaker 1: friendship group, you might want to go and give the
Speaker 1: episode a listen. You can just search Life on cart
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your podcasts, because there's a bigger
Speaker 1: conversation about that right there, Laura, I.
Speaker 2: Have a question for you. We talk a.
Speaker 3: Lot about cheating here and on our podcast Life Uncut
Speaker 3: in terms of all different kinds of relationships and infidelity,
Speaker 3: and I want to know, do you think there's ever
Speaker 3: a time it's okay to publicly humiliate somebody off the
Speaker 3: back of infidelity, which I know seems like an obvious answer.
Speaker 2: Cheating is like.
Speaker 1: The one thing that, like nothing riles people up in
Speaker 1: when it comes to relationships as much as the conversation
Speaker 1: around cheating does. Do I think it's okay to publicly
Speaker 1: humiliate them? No, I think it makes you a bit petty.
Speaker 1: But I've also been in the situation where I've been
Speaker 1: cheated on and at the time really thought about publicly
Speaker 1: humiliating them because you want, you want some sort of vindication,
Speaker 1: You want people to know, you want like their friends
Speaker 1: and their family and their mum to know like what
Speaker 1: an asshole they are.
Speaker 3: Of course, but there's something for me that doesn't sit
Speaker 3: right with the idea of public humiliation.
Speaker 2: Ever.
Speaker 3: I don't know why whatever even is done, there's something
Speaker 3: that when I see it go down, I just really
Speaker 3: feel for them, even if they've done the wrong thing.
Speaker 2: This is exactly what has happened in this story online.
Speaker 3: There's a husband that found out that his wife was
Speaker 3: cheating on him, and it was his fortieth birth day party.
Speaker 3: So we had this huge party with like family and friends,
Speaker 3: and he got up to do his speech, you know,
Speaker 3: like thank you for coming blah blah blah blah. Yeah, Basically,
Speaker 3: he had known his partner was cheating on him, so
Speaker 3: he saved it for this moment. He calls her up
Speaker 3: on stage and he makes it look like he's doing
Speaker 3: this beautiful thank you and he has a gift to
Speaker 3: her and how important she is.
Speaker 2: And all this stuff.
Speaker 3: He gets her to take a wedding ring off because
Speaker 3: he alludes to the fact that, you know, she deserves
Speaker 3: an upgrade. He plans the kiss of death on her.
Speaker 3: He basically kisses her like quite firmly and strongly. But
Speaker 3: the kiss of death is this idea. It's like in
Speaker 3: the it's like a mafia thing. Whence a mafia person
Speaker 3: finds out that someone has betrayed them, they give them
Speaker 3: what they call the kiss of death, which means like,
Speaker 3: I know you've betrayed me and something's about to happen.
Speaker 3: So he does that, which is very dramatic. Now you
Speaker 3: need to listen to how crazy this is.
Speaker 2: After even though it's get her.
Speaker 4: A little song, right, yeah, I know everything, I know everybody, and.
Speaker 3: I wasn't.
Speaker 2: He sounds terrific.
Speaker 3: He goes on to say like he's seen some sexy things,
Speaker 3: he's seen some body parts.
Speaker 2: He starts to go like crazy at her.
Speaker 3: The video goes so much longer than that, but he's
Speaker 3: basically just staying in front of everyone humiliating her even
Speaker 3: though she's done the wrong thing obviously, but the fact
Speaker 3: that this was so premeditated to save it for a
Speaker 3: public moment get her up Lula.
Speaker 2: Into a false sense of security that he's gonna like
Speaker 2: say she's amazing and then go oh, he sounds nah.
Speaker 1: I think like listening to that, he sounds so aggressive
Speaker 1: and sounds truly horrible. And I guess, like I understand
Speaker 1: that if you've been cheated on, your hurt and you
Speaker 1: probably won't to have a big reaction everything, But I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think listening to that, like you almost
Speaker 1: come across as the villain yourself.
Speaker 2: You come across so petty.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've definitely heard of like people standing at
Speaker 1: the altar and waiting until it was time to do
Speaker 1: their vows. And that was the opportunity that they took
Speaker 1: to you know, tell everyone, the family, the friends, everyone
Speaker 1: who's there, to tell them that actually their partner had
Speaker 1: been cheating on them. But we actually received a message
Speaker 1: which is you know, to the pickup, which is kind
Speaker 1: of along this line of things. So this was someone
Speaker 1: who works with an Australia who works in a very
Speaker 1: prominent hospital and it said this one of the doctors
Speaker 1: and a senior executive at our hospital got caught having
Speaker 1: an affair.
Speaker 2: The senior executive was a woman, mind you.
Speaker 1: The husband of the exec used her phone to send
Speaker 1: an email to leak their affair and the email was
Speaker 1: sent to the entire hospital staff.
Speaker 2: Every single hospital staff.
Speaker 1: Thousands of people received the email from her saying this
Speaker 1: is what I've done and this is like the person
Speaker 1: I'm doing with.
Speaker 2: It was like was written by her, It was written
Speaker 2: by the husband.
Speaker 1: It was written well, actually there's a bit more detail
Speaker 1: to this. It was written by the husband and it
Speaker 1: was saying, like just letting you all know what they've
Speaker 1: been doing.
Speaker 2: They're supposed to be on working hours. How humiliating. Look,
Speaker 2: But then is that okay.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think any of it's okay. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, I also understand it. I do understand
Speaker 1: why someone could be so hurt and feel so betrayed
Speaker 1: that they act in a way that's so not congruent
Speaker 1: with how they would normally behave because they just want
Speaker 1: everyone to know what an awful person their partner's been.
Speaker 1: Do I actually think it's okay? Would I ever do it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I think it's totally petty, But I also understand why
Speaker 1: some people feel that's the only option to enact some
Speaker 1: sort of revenge.
Speaker 3: I remember when my ex many moons ago. Now I
Speaker 3: was living his double life and he was marrying someone
Speaker 3: else simultaneously, like complete double life. But I remember when
Speaker 3: I found out, all I wanted to do was out
Speaker 3: him to everyone I knew, like I wanted to humiliate him,
Speaker 3: but I didn't have it in me. So all I
Speaker 3: could bring myself to do was steal all his toilet
Speaker 3: paper from his house, and next time we did a poop,
Speaker 3: he didn't.
Speaker 2: Have anything to wipe his butt. Actually, I don't even
Speaker 2: think that touched the side. Literally it didn't, and that's
Speaker 2: I don't think he can. No, he didn't, he would
Speaker 2: have just had a shower.
Speaker 1: Now, Britt, I feel like I have spoken about Lola
Speaker 1: so much recently for anyone who doesn't know as new
Speaker 1: to the show, Lola is my four year old.
Speaker 2: She is also just a wild cat. She's the personality
Speaker 2: higher of the family.
Speaker 4: She is.
Speaker 1: I've gotten in trouble from saying that she is the
Speaker 1: personality higher of the family.
Speaker 2: She is.
Speaker 1: She comes out with the funniest things. She's just a
Speaker 1: little character. She's hard to maintain and control, and I
Speaker 1: love that about her.
Speaker 2: I love her little feisty spirit. If she was an animal,
Speaker 2: what joking should be like a mere cat, That's what
Speaker 2: I thought too in my head, but.
Speaker 1: One that screams. I don't know if mea cats make
Speaker 1: much noise. I feel like they just are quite meek. No,
Speaker 1: they make sounds.
Speaker 3: One of them has to stand up on the little
Speaker 3: hill and it keeps an eye out for predators, and
Speaker 3: then it makes.
Speaker 2: A sound to all the other mea cats to hide.
Speaker 1: Maybe Lola's like a cross between a mere cat and
Speaker 1: a chimpanzee.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure that's what she done.
Speaker 1: So Lola, recently, we've worked really hard on getting her
Speaker 1: sleeping in her own bed. This year was also like
Speaker 1: the year that we took the dummy away. Like, we've
Speaker 1: had some big progress over the last couple of months
Speaker 1: with Lola going from like giving up the things that
Speaker 1: she was so attached to as like a little kid,
Speaker 1: to really her vices.
Speaker 2: We've got her off the dummyady. She's not smoking anymore.
Speaker 1: She's not she's not doing the babe nothing like. She's
Speaker 1: come good. She's come clean.
Speaker 2: That great.
Speaker 1: So we've done leaps and bounds, so I thought we had.
Speaker 1: We've had a little small regression, small which was except
Speaker 1: kind of embarrassing.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think which it is the dummy regress
Speaker 2: for a bit. But I think you're back on.
Speaker 1: Track, back on track, We're back on trackeeping. So you
Speaker 1: guys might remember quite a while back I talked about
Speaker 1: how Lola went through a phase she was about two
Speaker 1: and a half to three. It went on for far
Speaker 1: longer than I ever wish on anybody where she would
Speaker 1: wear underwear on her head.
Speaker 2: Oh that was my favorite Lola era.
Speaker 1: So she was convinced that underwear was a hat, underwear
Speaker 1: was made for outside wears if she wasn't wearing it
Speaker 1: a hat like on her head. She would wear it
Speaker 1: over her pants, so she'd put underwear on Superman, then
Speaker 1: she would put her leggings on, and then she would
Speaker 1: put underwear over her leggings.
Speaker 3: I that was still a vibe. That's actually very fashionable
Speaker 3: right now. But the undies on her head was my fave.
Speaker 1: We flew to Darwin, We got in the car, we
Speaker 1: drove from the car to the airport, from the airport.
Speaker 2: Through the security, we got on a flight.
Speaker 1: We flew all the way there and she had a
Speaker 1: pair of undies on her head the entire way.
Speaker 2: What happens if you take them off like screw like meltdown.
Speaker 1: She just put them back on. She's just like like,
Speaker 1: there's no taking them off her. She's absolutely not going.
Speaker 3: To have that.
Speaker 1: Or she used to pack extra ones, so like you
Speaker 1: go on a trip or a car trip, she'd have
Speaker 1: a handbag. You'd open the handbag and it'd just be
Speaker 1: seven pairs of undy.
Speaker 2: Smart girl.
Speaker 1: So anyway, look, it's just started again. And I don't
Speaker 1: know what happens. I don't know how she rediscovered it,
Speaker 1: But have a listen to this.
Speaker 2: You've got two pairs on your bomb. She's got a
Speaker 2: pair on her head, a yellow pair on her head.
Speaker 1: She's got one pair that she's wrapped around her knees
Speaker 1: so she can't even walk properly. And she has three
Speaker 1: pairs on a butt Like she isn't weird?
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't get it because she hang on
Speaker 2: up looking at a photo.
Speaker 3: Oh my actual god, she looks insane. You're ware, that's
Speaker 3: the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: No, So then she went upstairs and then she got
Speaker 1: another two pairs of undies and made this really cute
Speaker 1: crossover top out of two additional pairs of undies.
Speaker 2: I was like, that is a fashionista.
Speaker 1: What she's going to start making things out of recycled undies?
Speaker 1: That's not I don't know if that's a brand anyone
Speaker 1: wants to buy in on.
Speaker 2: In a weird Oh, now she's smashing down a lego
Speaker 2: house in her There's a lot going on here. So
Speaker 2: what do you do? You're just gonna lean in. She
Speaker 2: goes to school next year. I think I don't know
Speaker 2: half that. I'm like, like, I love that she's just
Speaker 2: this wild.
Speaker 1: Little unique human, but the other half of me is like,
Speaker 1: I can't let them go to school with undies.
Speaker 2: On it. No school's hard.
Speaker 3: Enough, but she has I don't know if this matters
Speaker 3: in this situation, but she does have them all on
Speaker 3: back to front and inside out, like they're all the
Speaker 3: tags are on the front and that you're a sign.
Speaker 2: Well do we judge her on that? I don't know
Speaker 2: if that's the least of you worried.
Speaker 1: Wait, look at Okay, When I said that she made
Speaker 1: a top out of it, that's what it escalated to.
Speaker 2: Sorry, that's cool. That actually looks really cool.
Speaker 1: I think I've got a top similar this, Okay, And I
Speaker 1: cannot tell you the World War III because I wouldn't
Speaker 1: let her leave the house and go to the cafe
Speaker 1: dress like this. This is what I'm dealing with now,
Speaker 1: and I feel like she just does these things. She'll
Speaker 1: be middle child, and she was put on this earth
Speaker 1: to test me.
Speaker 2: Maybe it'll change when she's middle card.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's maybe it's a little child thing, and now
Speaker 3: she's not gonna be a little child anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't know.