Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and today is our Ask
Speaker 1: Uncut episode. This is where we answer all of your deep,
Speaker 1: dark and burning questions and we do our absolute best
Speaker 1: to give you the life advice that you come here for.
Speaker 1: We absolutely love this episode. Well, I mean, I'm speaking
Speaker 1: on behalf of Laura. I definitely absolutely love this episode.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel a little bit better. It makes
Speaker 1: me feel at a little bit good in the world
Speaker 1: for helping you guys sort out your problems. And we
Speaker 1: actually did pick a We actually did pick a few
Speaker 1: good questions today, and we've got some that we haven't
Speaker 1: really entered, some territory we haven't really entered before. But
Speaker 1: we'll get to that in a minute. Laura, I don't
Speaker 1: even know why I ask you. Have you been doing
Speaker 1: it fun? What have you been up to? How is lockdown? Wait? Wait, wait,
Speaker 1: before we get at that, you're just saying like it
Speaker 1: makes me feel better. My first thought is, like, I
Speaker 1: love hearing about all your problems because it makes me
Speaker 1: feel better about my life. It does. That's how I
Speaker 1: just interpreted what you said. It does one hundred percent
Speaker 1: like you're all fucked. I think that's why so many
Speaker 1: people love to listen to because it makes everyone realize
Speaker 1: that everyone, no matter who they are, no matter what
Speaker 1: it looks like on the outside, everyone is going through
Speaker 1: some shit. No matter how good life someone's life looks,
Speaker 1: how bad someone's life looks, you never know what's going
Speaker 1: on in their life. And I think when you hear
Speaker 1: other people's problems and it just makes people realize they're
Speaker 1: not the only ones going through this stuff that makes
Speaker 1: everyone what makes me feel that little bit better? Well,
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about one thing that
Speaker 1: has happened in my life, which, to be honest, there
Speaker 1: is not a lot. There's really not a lot. But
Speaker 1: this is something that's happened in everyone's life in Australia
Speaker 1: at the moment. Have you seen and maybe you haven't
Speaker 1: seen it because you're not here, but have you seen
Speaker 1: the Quantus ad that is currently on TV. I have
Speaker 1: seen the Quantus ad and maybe I don't know if
Speaker 1: I want to admit it, but maybe I had a
Speaker 1: little cry to myself as well. I am not emotionally
Speaker 1: stable enough to watch an ad like that right now.
Speaker 1: They need a trigger warning before that ad comes on TV.
Speaker 1: I think that collectively, if you haven't seen ad, go
Speaker 1: look it up. It's Quantuses new campaign AD. I mean
Speaker 1: it's thirty seconds, Like how motive can it possibly be?
Speaker 1: But it basically follows one couple, one family, and a
Speaker 1: guy on their journey on like and traveling after this
Speaker 1: whole situation that we're currently living in. Once COVID is
Speaker 1: lifted and people can fly again, one of them goes
Speaker 1: to Disneyland. One of them is going to their wedding,
Speaker 1: and then the other one, the dad is going home
Speaker 1: what you assume is to see his little girl. And
Speaker 1: the thing is it's so crazy about this is that
Speaker 1: it isn't just a Quantus AD. It isn't just an
Speaker 1: ad for travel. It's a pro vaccination AD. And I
Speaker 1: just think it's so interesting how massive corporations, big businesses
Speaker 1: can no longer sit on the sidelines. People are not
Speaker 1: removing themselves or getting you know, this idea about not
Speaker 1: wanting to get involved in the politics around vaccinations. People
Speaker 1: are like, this is so big, this affects every single
Speaker 1: one of us. That even Quantus is like, we are
Speaker 1: going for a pro vax AD because it does affect
Speaker 1: every single one of us, And I mean, look, I
Speaker 1: don't love to be talking about what I'm doing a
Speaker 1: lot over here, because I really feel for you guys,
Speaker 1: and I feel so grateful to be here, but like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be talking about it in the
Speaker 1: sense of, look what I'm doing. But what I do
Speaker 1: want to say is having a vaccination really does matter
Speaker 1: to travel. I get asked to prove my vaccination so
Speaker 1: many places over here. I've been asked as I'm entering
Speaker 1: countries to prove my vaccination that is already happening. And
Speaker 1: I did read a few things in the media, a
Speaker 1: few influencers that were putting sort of some misinformation out
Speaker 1: there saying they're obviously anti vaxxers, and they're like, you
Speaker 1: don't need it. I've traveled, I haven't been asked to
Speaker 1: show it once. And I just read that and it
Speaker 1: made me a little bit angry because that's not true.
Speaker 1: I have definitely been asked to show it. And there
Speaker 1: are a lot of places are in the world right now.
Speaker 1: I haven't been there personally through Europe yet, but I
Speaker 1: know a lot of places in Europe, France and Italy.
Speaker 1: I know New York has started to do it. You
Speaker 1: can't go to a restaurant anymore, you can't go to gyms,
Speaker 1: you can't do anything without a vaccination, or you have
Speaker 1: to get a COVID test that day, like the day
Speaker 1: of that you want to go to dinner, you have
Speaker 1: to go and have a test. So I think everyone
Speaker 1: in the world is just realizing that whether we like
Speaker 1: it or not, or whether you guys like it or not,
Speaker 1: that's the way forward. And that's exactly why Quants has
Speaker 1: got on this ad. But the thing about the ad
Speaker 1: was they didn't mention the word vaccination once, but it
Speaker 1: got the message across in the best way possible. I
Speaker 1: have never seen an ad so good in my entire life.
Speaker 1: How can you in thirty seconds have the most powerful
Speaker 1: message and make everybody falling tears at the same time. Well,
Speaker 1: it just makes you think about the government rollout ad
Speaker 1: that was done you know a couple of months ago,
Speaker 1: which was the woman in bed and she was so
Speaker 1: frightened and she was like hooked up to the VENTI
Speaker 1: later and it was the scare tactic campaign that was
Speaker 1: trying to get people to go and get vaccinated. And
Speaker 1: now look, I mean we have been Britain, I have
Speaker 1: been pretty Switzerland on this podcast. We've not spoken about
Speaker 1: vaccination much at all, and I guess it's because, you know,
Speaker 1: you guys come to us and you come to the
Speaker 1: podcast to get some really uplifting and like funny content.
Speaker 1: We tackle other things that are happening in the world.
Speaker 1: This stuff is being rammed down your throats on social
Speaker 1: media and in the media every single day. You don't
Speaker 1: need to come to Life Uncut to have that same
Speaker 1: message reiterated to you. But the thing I found really
Speaker 1: interesting about this whole thing is that Quantus has just
Speaker 1: done the best pro vax campaign ever. Like you just said,
Speaker 1: brit they have completely trumped what the government did with
Speaker 1: their advertising and it's because instead of trying to scare
Speaker 1: people into doing something, they've used emotion. And the reality
Speaker 1: is is that COVID, for the most of us, has
Speaker 1: been this invisible esque disease. And I say invisible esque
Speaker 1: because like most of us haven't been directly affected by
Speaker 1: majority of us in Australia haven't had somebody who's died,
Speaker 1: but every single one of us does know what it
Speaker 1: feels like to not be able to travel. Every single
Speaker 1: one of us knows what it feels like to not
Speaker 1: be able to see our family members, to feel isolated,
Speaker 1: to feel cut off. And I just think this ad
Speaker 1: has done such an amazing job of really highlighting what
Speaker 1: it is that we're missing out on in life. Instead
Speaker 1: of it being about scaring people around the disease or
Speaker 1: the illness, it's telling people, you know what, this is
Speaker 1: what we can have if you all just go and
Speaker 1: get bloody vaccinated. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: the other part of this as well is, of course
Speaker 1: Quantus has a hidden agenda. Quantus wants us to start
Speaker 1: flying again because they are a company. They are a
Speaker 1: corporation that without unlimited and free travel, they have been
Speaker 1: hugely affected by what is currently happening in the world.
Speaker 1: I actually read that they were giving and I think, like,
Speaker 1: if there's ever a way to give incentive now, look, guys,
Speaker 1: so I don't want you to quote me on this,
Speaker 1: but I read that they're giving away something to do with,
Speaker 1: like a year's worth of travel or a year's worth
Speaker 1: of heavily discounted travel to someone that goes into like
Speaker 1: a pool once you've vaccinated. So once you get vaccinated,
Speaker 1: you go into this lucky dip draw and they'll give
Speaker 1: you a year's worth of travel, and I think, what
Speaker 1: better way? And this isn't a quantus ad, this is
Speaker 1: just something I read somewhere. Guys, what better way to
Speaker 1: give incentive? Because that's what everyone in the world wants.
Speaker 1: And like you said, Laura, Australia is we are so lucky.
Speaker 1: We're a very, very lucky country. And exactly what you'd
Speaker 1: just said, not many people know people in Australia that
Speaker 1: have had COVID or have died from COVID. Here it's everywhere.
Speaker 1: COVID is literally everywhere, and I know so many people
Speaker 1: here personally, people that I've been really close to, people
Speaker 1: I'm close to his family members. It just seems that
Speaker 1: there's not I don't feel like there would be a
Speaker 1: person in the States that doesn't know someone that has had.
Speaker 1: It is worlds away from what Australia is like. And
Speaker 1: like Laura said, we don't want this podcast. We don't
Speaker 1: want to come here and ram things down your throat.
Speaker 1: We don't want to talk. We try not to talk
Speaker 1: about it as much as possible. We try to pretend
Speaker 1: it's not happening, but the fact is it is. But
Speaker 1: any of you guys that know me, and you've been
Speaker 1: listening for a long time. You know that I've worked
Speaker 1: in the medical industry for like the best part of
Speaker 1: thirteen years. You know, I'm very pro vaccination. I was
Speaker 1: one of the first people to get it because I
Speaker 1: was frontline. I had no problems with it, and I
Speaker 1: just think it is the way forward, and it's about
Speaker 1: protecting you and you have not just you as your
Speaker 1: family members and all your loved ones and anyway, that's
Speaker 1: all I'm going to say about it. I am one
Speaker 1: hundred percent all for the quantus AD and I'm all
Speaker 1: for vaccination and getting life back on track. Well, I
Speaker 1: guess the last thing I wanted to add on this,
Speaker 1: and I think it's like the biggest take home message
Speaker 1: about this whole thing is like we have been super
Speaker 1: Switzerland in that we haven't spoken about it. We're not
Speaker 1: Switzerland in our beliefs, but with Switzerland on this podcast.
Speaker 1: And I think a big reason for that is because
Speaker 1: we think you guys are all adults. We're not here
Speaker 1: to preach to you, and that's never been our jam either,
Speaker 1: Like we're not going to force our ideas down your throats.
Speaker 1: And we also truly believe like a lot of us
Speaker 1: have very collective ideas around this sort of stuff anyway,
Speaker 1: But the real take home message from this quantus ad
Speaker 1: is that nobody can really stay impartial to it anymore.
Speaker 1: Like we can't really keep it out of the conversation
Speaker 1: because it does take up so much of our lives
Speaker 1: and it affects every single person. And when corporations and
Speaker 1: companies are jumping on board and putting out tvc ads
Speaker 1: which costs so much money to do that are pro
Speaker 1: vaccination to try and get the bare rolling so that
Speaker 1: life can get back to normal, it just reinforces how
Speaker 1: you really cannot be Switzerland on the whole concept. You
Speaker 1: can't be Switzerland on the conversation. But anyway, like we said,
Speaker 1: let's get into ask on cart. Now is the time
Speaker 1: I'm going to kick it off with one. I think
Speaker 1: it's time that we bring a ask on cart that is
Speaker 1: non relationship because as much as relationships are probably one
Speaker 1: of the biggest hurdles that we have to deal with,
Speaker 1: there's lots of other shit that goes down in life. No,
Speaker 1: bring it. I'm ready. One of my best friends has
Speaker 1: damaged my rental and she tried to ignore it, so
Speaker 1: a few of us were getting ready in the upstairs bedroom.
Speaker 1: There isn't any furniture up there, just a huge mirror.
Speaker 1: That's why we were up there, as there was about
Speaker 1: four of us in total, and I didn't catch on,
Speaker 1: but she was one hundred percent using her mermaid wand
Speaker 1: and was putting it down on the carpet. I didn't
Speaker 1: think anything of it because I have a lot of
Speaker 1: trust in her, and I knew it wouldn't be done
Speaker 1: for long. She was the only one doing her hair
Speaker 1: up there. However, when we were all about to leave,
Speaker 1: I ran upstairs to grab something and I saw the
Speaker 1: burnmarks on the carpet. They were very obvious, and I
Speaker 1: find it really hard to imagine that she wouldn't have
Speaker 1: seen them. I know I'm going to need to replace
Speaker 1: the carpet, but I'm so mad that she didn't pull
Speaker 1: me aside and tell me. We're close enough friends she
Speaker 1: could have done that. Do I confront her about it?
Speaker 1: Should she be chipping in for carpet replacement? Hell? This
Speaker 1: makes me laugh only because if and did I hear
Speaker 1: this right?
Speaker 2: Laura?
Speaker 1: Did you say she was definitely the only one in
Speaker 1: the room doing a hair one hundred percent okay. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: if you're it, girl, you're it. Like, there's no shifting
Speaker 1: blame in here. There's no saying that the dog did it,
Speaker 1: because the dog doesn't live there. You're in a room
Speaker 1: doing your hair. There is now a burnmark on the carpet.
Speaker 1: She's obviously I don't think that she has not seen it.
Speaker 1: I think she's probably panicked and she doesn't know what
Speaker 1: to do about it. She feels really bad. You one
Speaker 1: hundred percent totally can approach her about it and ask
Speaker 1: her about it. I don't think you have to go
Speaker 1: in and be being aggressive or accusatory or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but I think you need to be like, hey, I
Speaker 1: just went into the spare room yesterday and I saw
Speaker 1: that where you were doing your hair, there's like actually
Speaker 1: a huge burnmark from where you put your tongs down.
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Just play dumb and see what
Speaker 1: she says, and she's probably to say, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't see it. Like she's even if she saw it,
Speaker 1: she's obviously uncomfortable by the situation, which is fine. I
Speaker 1: would just say that and then and then have a discussion.
Speaker 1: And I think you're totally within your rights. To say, look,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to replace that now. Obviously, are you
Speaker 1: happy to chip in? I don't know if you can. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is a tricky bit. You can one hundred percent
Speaker 1: ask her, but I don't know how much you ask for.
Speaker 1: And Lauren, what do you think do you think that
Speaker 1: this girl has to pay for the whole carpet or
Speaker 1: do you think there's a bit of ownership in terms
Speaker 1: of like you need to go fifty to fifty because
Speaker 1: it's also your house. Oh I okay, Look I have
Speaker 1: a few other feelings about this. What do you do
Speaker 1: if she says it was me, like, there's the whole
Speaker 1: other thing she might instead of like being like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was embarrassed. I didn't want to tell you. There's
Speaker 1: a good chance that she might gaslight the shit out
Speaker 1: of you and say was me. Yeah. I think if
Speaker 1: she says it's not you, you need to just put
Speaker 1: it to her and say, look, I was in that
Speaker 1: room that day. It wasn't there. The only person that
Speaker 1: went in was you, and then it was there like
Speaker 1: it's science hashtag science' that's my answer to everything. When
Speaker 1: stuff goes wrong, you need to address it with some
Speaker 1: sort of immediacy. I think it's the big lesson in
Speaker 1: this because it's really hard to go back a week later,
Speaker 1: two weeks later, three weeks later, and say, a few
Speaker 1: weeks ago you burnt the carpet, and she's gonna say
Speaker 1: it wasn't me. Maybe you've had somebody else over. It's COVID.
Speaker 1: You've definitely not had anyone else over. But do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like if you had addressed it
Speaker 1: at the time and just been like, oh, dude, there's
Speaker 1: marks on the carpet from where you put your mermaid
Speaker 1: wand I think this would have been resolved very quickly.
Speaker 1: But sometimes we're so scared of confrontation and sometimes we
Speaker 1: don't really know how to go about things. And I
Speaker 1: also blame maybe this is a big call, but I
Speaker 1: blame text messaging. I think we are so scared sometimes
Speaker 1: of having conversations in real life, of just saying, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, this has happened, because we think it's going
Speaker 1: to be huge confrontation, and we are so reliant to
Speaker 1: having those sorts of conversations via text message that we
Speaker 1: have robbed ourselves of the ability to have conversations that
Speaker 1: shouldn't be aggressive. That shouldn't be confrontational in just a
Speaker 1: really matter of fact way. I think that you kind
Speaker 1: of did yourself a little bit of a disservice by
Speaker 1: not pulling it up at the time when it happen. Okay,
Speaker 1: now for what you do now, I think you have
Speaker 1: to give her a call, And I think it's a
Speaker 1: phone call conversation. Like I said, it's not a text message.
Speaker 1: Give her a call and say to her, I saw
Speaker 1: this happen on the night, like I want you to
Speaker 1: know that, Like, this isn't something that I'm just calling
Speaker 1: you about now. I didn't want to ruin the night.
Speaker 1: I wanted us to still have a really great time.
Speaker 1: But on the night I saw that there was damage
Speaker 1: to the carpet. I just I'm going to send you
Speaker 1: some photos so that you know how bad it is.
Speaker 1: And unfortunately the real estate agent has asked me to
Speaker 1: replace it, or you could say, do you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait until our my bond is over and
Speaker 1: everything else, my rental agreement's over, and I'm gonna see
Speaker 1: if they charge me for it, and if they charge
Speaker 1: me for it, I'll let you know how much it is.
Speaker 1: Of course, you can't force her to pay it, but
Speaker 1: you can ask her. I think if your friend damages
Speaker 1: your house because there was super neglectful and left a
Speaker 1: fucking hot iron on the ground, you can ask them
Speaker 1: for a bit of money for it. You shouldn't have
Speaker 1: to front the cost for that. Girl. First question, where
Speaker 1: the hell are you going? Where are you doing your
Speaker 1: hair for? Is that for supermarket? Or like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? Why do you have a life? Because Australia
Speaker 1: is in Lockdow for the best part of a year,
Speaker 1: so I want to know where you're going. Is there
Speaker 1: a secret underground party? No? Exactly what Laura said, that's
Speaker 1: that's all absolutely correct. Text messages are fucking cooked. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they get you can you just can take them the
Speaker 1: wrong way way too easily. The only thing I don't
Speaker 1: know if I agree with Laura and I love when
Speaker 1: we disagree is I don't know if I agree with
Speaker 1: waiting until I don't know if I agree with saying, hey, look,
Speaker 1: let's wait till the Lisa's up in twelve months, and
Speaker 1: if they take it, I'll let you know, because in
Speaker 1: twelve months you're not going to want to go back
Speaker 1: and be like, hey, you remember twelve months ago, Well
Speaker 1: you own me three hundred dollars. She's going to be like, girl,
Speaker 1: get over it. I think you just need to say now,
Speaker 1: like I'll get a quote, just give me that half
Speaker 1: of the money. If I don't have to pay you,
Speaker 1: I'll give it back. And I think you do it
Speaker 1: reverse way, so if the landlord doesn't make me take it,
Speaker 1: I'll give you the two hundred dollars back. But that
Speaker 1: way it's going to be so awkward for you to
Speaker 1: ask down the track when the bond is up. So
Speaker 1: that's what I would do. But you need to front
Speaker 1: it straight away. And if this does happen to anyone
Speaker 1: else's kind of a thing, take a photo of it
Speaker 1: straight away, purely because then it's timestamp so if you
Speaker 1: can see it, it's going to be on your phone.
Speaker 1: It has the date and it has the time. And
Speaker 1: I think whenever you need evidence in these situations, I
Speaker 1: agree with you. Now I take it back, yes, one
Speaker 1: hundred percent, do what brit said. Don't do what I said.
Speaker 1: But I also want to say, from someone who has
Speaker 1: actually damaged carpet in a rental property so they don't
Speaker 1: replace the whole room. If anyone's ever worried about this,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to give you a hot tip. They
Speaker 1: don't replace the carpet in the entire room if it's
Speaker 1: just a little section. What they do is they cut
Speaker 1: out a section and then inlay the carpet into that section.
Speaker 1: So it's actually way cheaper, especially if your landlord has
Speaker 1: carpet like from when they built the house or bought
Speaker 1: the house, like hidden somewhere. Lots of people do. It
Speaker 1: could be not as big a problem as what you
Speaker 1: think it is. And I think we always go into
Speaker 1: these situations thinking it's going to be worst case scenario,
Speaker 1: and it very very rarely is worst case scenario. This
Speaker 1: just reminds me of something, and I can't believe. I
Speaker 1: can't believe I forgot it, and I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: I actually did it. I mean same but different about
Speaker 1: speeling something on the carpet. I was at my friend's wedding.
Speaker 1: This is like the worst thing you could ever do
Speaker 1: in existence. I was at my friend's wedding. I went up.
Speaker 1: I'd had a few drinks, but I wasn't drunk. I
Speaker 1: went up to say congratulations, sit with her, say hello
Speaker 1: for a little while. And I was sitting at her
Speaker 1: table at the long table, you know, like where they
Speaker 1: do the speeches and where they sit at the front,
Speaker 1: and I, for some fucking reason, I decided to drink
Speaker 1: red wine. I tried to decided to take my red
Speaker 1: wine up there. I spilt, Oh my god, my red
Speaker 1: wine on her wedding dress. I'm not kidding. At the wedding,
Speaker 1: at the reception, it wasn't even at the end of
Speaker 1: the night. It was we had hours to go. And
Speaker 1: I have never wanted to sink into the ground more
Speaker 1: in my life. And there was nothing I couldn't pretend
Speaker 1: that wasn't me. I couldn't do anything, and I was
Speaker 1: I was aside myself. I was in tears, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I have ruined your life. I was like,
Speaker 1: what can I do? I'm so sorry? She was blessed
Speaker 1: her soul. It was all down her dress. To be fair,
Speaker 1: it was like the bottom like probably three feet of
Speaker 1: the dress. So it wasn't crisis. I like that You're
Speaker 1: still trying to You're still trying to justify it to yourself.
Speaker 1: You're like, to be fair, it wasn't that bad. No,
Speaker 1: it's like so cooked. The chefs ran and got like
Speaker 1: a leader of soda water and they just drenched it
Speaker 1: in soda water. So she has this drenched dress half
Speaker 1: the red wine and they scrubbed it and it. Guys,
Speaker 1: take this as a tot tip. Most of the red
Speaker 1: wine came out of the dress because we got it immediately.
Speaker 1: But I have never never been more mortified in my
Speaker 1: entire existence. And I can't believe I have remembered that,
Speaker 1: and I can't believe I did it, and I need
Speaker 1: to bury that story again. Let's get into question two.
Speaker 1: I was like, where is this going? What was the resolution?
Speaker 1: What happened? Did you have to pay for a wedding dress? Like?
Speaker 1: Where is this related to the poor person who asked
Speaker 1: the question? No? I was just thinking that has no
Speaker 1: that story was completely irrelevant, guys. I was just thinking
Speaker 1: of when you spill red wine on carpet and I
Speaker 1: just had this PTSD flashback in my head of me
Speaker 1: stealing the red wine on her dress, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, how did I forget that story? Okay,
Speaker 1: question number two, I've got one for you, Laura, And
Speaker 1: I'm actually really interested because I feel like if anyone's
Speaker 1: going to do this, it's probably you. Guys. What is
Speaker 1: the normal way to wipe your ass thoroughly, well and cleanly.
Speaker 1: One of the first things that my partner told me
Speaker 1: when we started dating a few years ago was that
Speaker 1: he actually stands up to wipe his butt. I got
Speaker 1: so weirded out by it, and I have avoided scene
Speaker 1: it since we've been together. I saw it this morning
Speaker 1: for the first time, and I cannot unsee this. I
Speaker 1: cannot get it out of my head. He now he
Speaker 1: wants to teach our children to wipe their butt standing up,
Speaker 1: and I just want to know is this normal? Could
Speaker 1: you please put a pole up? She asked for the pole.
Speaker 1: Could you put a pole up and find out how many,
Speaker 1: if any, wipe their butts standing up? Okay, straight up? No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: This is wrong on so many levels. Why would you
Speaker 1: stand up? When you stand up, your butt cheeks would
Speaker 1: clench together, more like they would be together. How are
Speaker 1: you supposed to get in there? I am living this
Speaker 1: horror right now. I'm trying to potty train Marley, and
Speaker 1: Molly has been taught by Matt to stand up to
Speaker 1: wipe her butt. Okay. I have a theory, and we
Speaker 1: have spoken about this. Brit does remember, but we spoke
Speaker 1: about this topic on the podcast so so long ago,
Speaker 1: and I have thought about it a lot since that day.
Speaker 1: It's just men. Men stand up to wipe their butts.
Speaker 1: Chicks don't because we can reach around from the front,
Speaker 1: but they've got some tackle in the way, so they've
Speaker 1: got to stand up to go from behind. No, Laura,
Speaker 1: you don't wipe your butt from the front. That's the
Speaker 1: number one rule. That is like literally the number one
Speaker 1: rule for hygiene. Do you have to wipe from behind
Speaker 1: and you wipe from front to back. You don't reach
Speaker 1: under and go from back to front. Oh shure, white
Speaker 1: poop in your vagina. I only wipe halfway. I wipe
Speaker 1: it from back to the middle, and then I wipe
Speaker 1: from front to the middle. I never wipe the whole
Speaker 1: way across. That's terrible idea. We can never take your
Speaker 1: advice ever again. Everyone, we just lost all of our listeners.
Speaker 1: They're all gone. They're unsubscribed and canceled a podcast. Oh
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do it from the back. I
Speaker 1: can't reach properly. Okay, I gotta do it from I go. Literally,
Speaker 1: You've got the longest arms I've ever How can you
Speaker 1: not reach behind if you're Okay, look, I know that this
Speaker 1: is technically incorrect. Now I'm gonna regret saying this. I
Speaker 1: go from the middle, like I go from the skin
Speaker 1: part that is fully closed behind. I go backwards so
Speaker 1: it never goes into anywhere or where it shouldn't, but
Speaker 1: it goes the other way. Okay. Anyways, there's a whole
Speaker 1: lot going on. Now that's a lot of information about
Speaker 1: how I wipe my butt. But I think it's just
Speaker 1: men who stand up. I genuinely think because Matt stands up.
Speaker 1: My ex boyfriend stood up. All the guys I have
Speaker 1: dated have been standard operas, and I'm a sit downer.
Speaker 1: I need to ask Jordan because I've never seen him
Speaker 1: wife of his butt, but I'm pretty sure he would
Speaker 1: sit down like I feel like he's pretty normal. I
Speaker 1: don't know anyone else that has stood up. But do
Speaker 1: you mean stand up like completely straight? Or is it
Speaker 1: like a semi hunged over squat. It's just like the
Speaker 1: bent are your legs still ban? Are they straight? Like?
Speaker 1: What are we talking here? How does Matt do it?
Speaker 1: It's like if you're gonna, if you're gonna get yourself
Speaker 1: into perfect squat position, but like just at the top,
Speaker 1: so like it's pretty stood up, but then like bent
Speaker 1: forward a little bit with a little bit of a
Speaker 1: bend in the hip. So the butt is kind of
Speaker 1: like pointing out as though you're going to do a
Speaker 1: death It's the very start of a dead lift. Think
Speaker 1: about that, like a little bit of like a bent
Speaker 1: loose knee, a little bit of a bounce in the knee,
Speaker 1: a little bit of a hinge in the hip, and
Speaker 1: that's how they do it. I guess my question is why,
Speaker 1: that's my question, Why would you make life so much
Speaker 1: harder for me? Why would you engage the quad? Should
Speaker 1: I get Madden? Hey, Matt, Yeah, we need Matt. I've
Speaker 1: just messaged Jordan, but he's on the tennis court. I
Speaker 1: think imagine if he checks his phone mid match, He's like,
Speaker 1: do I wipe my butt? Why do guys stand up
Speaker 1: to wipe their butt? Why do you sit down because
Speaker 1: you're already sitting down.
Speaker 2: I can't remember a time when I wasn't standing up to.
Speaker 1: Matt said, this is the problem. Matt just said he
Speaker 1: can't remember a time where he wasn't standing up to
Speaker 1: wipe his butt, so he was obviously taught to do
Speaker 1: it as well. You can use this microphone. It's so
Speaker 1: nice to have Matthew Johnson on the podcast on a Thursday,
Speaker 1: not just on a Friday.
Speaker 2: This is something that I've wanted to talk about for
Speaker 2: such a long time, but I've never had had the
Speaker 2: balls to do it. I can't remember. I think. I
Speaker 2: think it's just something that just came naturally to me,
Speaker 2: like it wasn't ever something that I had to make
Speaker 2: a conscious effort to do. I do remember one time
Speaker 2: somebody said, just try it, just try and wipe. I
Speaker 2: hated every second of it, trying to wipe sitting down.
Speaker 2: But hey, Britt, I'm going to put it back on you.
Speaker 2: When you wipe, do you reach around behind your backside
Speaker 2: or do you put your hand in front and then
Speaker 2: wipe towards your belly button?
Speaker 1: No, this is you always wipe from front to back.
Speaker 2: From front to back. So do you have to like
Speaker 2: perch You have to perch at the end of the
Speaker 2: toilet seat and then like dip forward to get your
Speaker 2: butt enough room for your hand to reach there. How
Speaker 2: does that work?
Speaker 1: You don't have to sit that far back like I
Speaker 1: don't know how far men do does your butt touch
Speaker 1: the back of the toilet because you're too deep. You're
Speaker 1: sitting way too deep. You don't need to be that deep.
Speaker 1: You can bring yourself forward.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to relax on the toilet bread, I
Speaker 2: sit right back, I recline.
Speaker 1: He also takes his mobile phone in there and stays
Speaker 1: in there for forty five minutes, So let's be real,
Speaker 1: that's the real reason why he's in the toilet.
Speaker 2: Speaking of nature, calls so lovely to be on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Yes on Friday, guys.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have one more thing I want to say
Speaker 1: about this though. I feel like you've misunderstood what I
Speaker 1: said at the start, and I want to clear my name.
Speaker 1: I want to clear my name and vindicate myself from
Speaker 1: being a grub. But how do you put your hand
Speaker 1: in the front, And why would you put it in
Speaker 1: the front and then push it back. Why wouldn't you
Speaker 1: just go to the back and pull it back. I
Speaker 1: still okay, regardless of what you think of me, I
Speaker 1: still wipe from front to back. I'm not wiping in
Speaker 1: the opposite direction. And I just want to make that
Speaker 1: very clear, just because I go from the front between
Speaker 1: my legs and don't go from behind. Also, then I
Speaker 1: just find that so difficult as well. I'm glad that
Speaker 1: we've clarified this. I'm glad that Daily Mail will not
Speaker 1: write an article saying that I wipe poop into my
Speaker 1: own vagina. I don't think we've answered it anyway. To
Speaker 1: actually answer your question, No, I do not think it's
Speaker 1: normal to stand up. Look, I'll check you with Jordan.
Speaker 1: We'll get back to you. I think we definitely need
Speaker 1: a pole. I could be very wrong. Maybe I'm the anomaly.
Speaker 1: Maybe everyone does the half squat, deadlifts stand up and
Speaker 1: I'm the only one that sits. I don't know, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no, you stick by your guns and
Speaker 1: you teach your children to wipe their butt sitting down. Well, look,
Speaker 1: if we learn anything from Matthew Johnson's cameo that he
Speaker 1: just made, it's that if you teach your children terrible
Speaker 1: behavior from a young age, they will continue it into adulthood.
Speaker 1: So if you teach your children to wipe their butt
Speaker 1: standing up, they're going to continue to do it. To
Speaker 1: do it as a thirty four year old man. So
Speaker 1: I think it's important to have these hard conversations with
Speaker 1: your partner, or if you have a girl and a boy,
Speaker 1: then just divide and conquer. You take the girl, he
Speaker 1: can take the boy. The woman that has the tackle
Speaker 1: can stand up, the one that doesn't have a tackle
Speaker 1: can sit down. That's what I reckon. I love it
Speaker 1: here at Life on Cut. We do really tackle the
Speaker 1: hard questions. Don't we want life's biggest mysteries? Oh you
Speaker 1: know what, Someone's going to answer these questions and the
Speaker 1: people are you're asking? All right? Question number three? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I met this guy on a night out and
Speaker 1: we literally just clicked the banter in. The chemistry was
Speaker 1: amazing and the vibe was so good. Nothing happened between us,
Speaker 1: but he ended up telling me he had a girlfriend
Speaker 1: and how complicated it is and how unhappy they are.
Speaker 1: So we ended up going our separate ways that night.
Speaker 1: The next day we were texting and he ended up
Speaker 1: coming to my house. We literally just sat ate dinner,
Speaker 1: talked for hours. Again, nothing happened because he had a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: We have continued to chat, even sometimes talk on the
Speaker 1: phone for hours at a time. I can't believe how
Speaker 1: quickly we have connected. But I just can't keep doing
Speaker 1: this knowing he has a girlfriend. Every time I bring
Speaker 1: it up, he says, how confused he is, and he
Speaker 1: doesn't know what to do. So my question is should
Speaker 1: I just give up? Or should I pursue this because
Speaker 1: I really do feel like our chemistry and sexual tension
Speaker 1: is amazing. I haven't clicked with someone like this in
Speaker 1: a very long time, and I genuinely think this could
Speaker 1: be something help. Okay, I have a lot of feelings
Speaker 1: about this. He is being weak, he is being pathetic,
Speaker 1: and I know that that's a really harsh thing to say,
Speaker 1: but I don't really care right now. If he's saying
Speaker 1: he's so confused and he doesn't know what he wants
Speaker 1: to do, then I very much doubt he has this big, long,
Speaker 1: complicated relationship with his girlfriend that he's currently with. I
Speaker 1: bet you if you asked his girlfriend, she would give
Speaker 1: you a very different answer to what their relationship is
Speaker 1: one hundred percent at this point in time, what he
Speaker 1: is doing is he is monkey branching, and he's setting
Speaker 1: up a next relationship so that he has a guarantee
Speaker 1: before he leaves the one he's currently in. Or alternatively,
Speaker 1: he's not going to leave his girlfriend at all, and
Speaker 1: he's just getting an awesome ego boost through you. I
Speaker 1: think this is so dangerous. You said it yourself. You
Speaker 1: can't keep continuing to do this if he has a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: And I think it's fair of you to give him
Speaker 1: an automatum and say that I don't want you to
Speaker 1: contact me. I don't want to continue this with you
Speaker 1: unless you're single. And it could actually be something, but
Speaker 1: you have some things you need to sort out in
Speaker 1: your life. Go and do that or don't do that.
Speaker 1: That'll be the real deciding factor. And why I feel
Speaker 1: so passionate about this. And I haven't really spoken about
Speaker 1: this relationship at all because out of protection, I guess
Speaker 1: I want to protect the guy. So I dated a
Speaker 1: guy for a period of time and we broke up
Speaker 1: and we got back together, and he had a girlfriend
Speaker 1: and I didn't know he had a girlfriend at the time.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that they were together, but I thought
Speaker 1: we were together, but he was kind of seeing the
Speaker 1: both of us at the same time. And then I
Speaker 1: gave him that ultimatum. You know, there was definitely overlap.
Speaker 1: It was a period of my life that I very
Speaker 1: very much regret. But he promised that he was going
Speaker 1: to break up with her so that we could be together,
Speaker 1: and I went down this exact rabbit hole that you're
Speaker 1: heading down now. Anyway, eventually I put an end to it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, look, you need to go and
Speaker 1: figure out what you want. You need to break up
Speaker 1: with her, but I'm not going to be the person
Speaker 1: that you monkey branch from that relationship into ours. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to allow you to kind of set up
Speaker 1: our relationship, so it's a guarantee, and then you break
Speaker 1: up with her and you can just transition into an
Speaker 1: US and he's now married to her, So he never
Speaker 1: broke up with her. It never came out. And I
Speaker 1: think the big thing with this is like, just because
Speaker 1: someone says something to you and to your face, if
Speaker 1: their actions are not matching up with that, if they
Speaker 1: are saying one thing but clearly doing another i e.
Speaker 1: Being in a relationship with somebody else, then it is
Speaker 1: no guarantee that what they're saying is the truth. And
Speaker 1: I think if you were to ask his girlfriend, just
Speaker 1: like if I was to have asked my ex's girlfriend,
Speaker 1: they would have said very different things about how they
Speaker 1: viewed their relationship and the period of life that they
Speaker 1: were in. I am, Matt going to give you some
Speaker 1: really tough love and You're not gonna want to hear this.
Speaker 1: No one ever wants to hear this. But you are
Speaker 1: doing the wrong thing. It is as simple as that.
Speaker 1: You there is nothing that is okay about what you
Speaker 1: were doing. And I think you know that deep down
Speaker 1: you're saying, I don't know if I should keep doing
Speaker 1: it or like get my feelings involved kind of thing
Speaker 1: irrelevant of that. You need to end this immediately, And
Speaker 1: I think what Laura just said is correct. If you
Speaker 1: have your feelings, like, we can't help who we have
Speaker 1: feelings for. I'm all for that. I've had feelings for
Speaker 1: someone in the past that have been in relationships. I've
Speaker 1: had people have feelings for me in the past that
Speaker 1: have been in relationships. It is unavoidable. Look, you do
Speaker 1: have to let yourselves grow these feelings. You do have
Speaker 1: to be putting yourselves in a situation. And if you
Speaker 1: continue to put yourself in a situation where you're in
Speaker 1: an intimate place, which is your home, you know the
Speaker 1: feelings are there. You're talking NonStop for hours, you're texting.
Speaker 1: She the girlfriend obviously doesn't know that you have this
Speaker 1: hidden secret relationship, or there's no way she would be
Speaker 1: okay with it. It is only a matter of time
Speaker 1: before this turns physical one hundred percent, and that is
Speaker 1: just a line that you cannot cross. What I think
Speaker 1: you have to do, and this is what I always
Speaker 1: try and do in life, is put yourself in somebody
Speaker 1: else's shoes. If you imagine if that was your partner,
Speaker 1: how would you feel if your partner, your boyfriend was
Speaker 1: going to some other girl's house for hours to hang
Speaker 1: out with her, talking on the phone for hours, texting
Speaker 1: her all the time. Because I can guarantee you you
Speaker 1: would not be okay with it. You need to end
Speaker 1: it to say look and just be honest with him.
Speaker 1: I have strong feelings for you if you want it.
Speaker 1: It's like God, I want to sleep with you, like
Speaker 1: I have this connection with you, but I don't want
Speaker 1: to be doing the wrong thing. You're doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: You obviously need to sort out whatever is in your life.
Speaker 1: If he goes and sorts it out, tell him to
Speaker 1: come back, time to come back and date you find me,
Speaker 1: Come call me as soon as you're single, but don't
Speaker 1: call me into them. I cannot tell you, and this
Speaker 1: infuriates me because I've had it so many times. I
Speaker 1: cannot tell you how many men use that line just
Speaker 1: to cheat. They're he's not gonna break up with his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: It's probably not complicated, like Laura said, they probably having
Speaker 1: a great old time. He probably just wants something on
Speaker 1: the side. So many people use that line. Women use
Speaker 1: it too, Like I'm not saying it's just men, but
Speaker 1: it's a line like, oh, it's just it's so tough
Speaker 1: at home, like it's basically over. It's not over yet,
Speaker 1: but we're heading that way. Bullshit, I'm calling bullshit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think the big common denominator in some of
Speaker 1: these conversations and relationships is like, yes, it's complicated, but
Speaker 1: the complication has come because of the new relationship that
Speaker 1: he has with you. I'm going to put money on
Speaker 1: the fact that it wasn't complicated a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I think maybe he has met you, he obviously feels
Speaker 1: that there's a connection as well, But he is hatching
Speaker 1: his bets. He's not making a decision either way, and
Speaker 1: he's either trying to figure out whether you will be
Speaker 1: a sure thing and he wants to jump ship in
Speaker 1: his relationship. But why would you want to allow someone
Speaker 1: to make you an option right now? You are an
Speaker 1: option he is making up his decision as to whether
Speaker 1: he wants to choose his girlfriend who is currently with
Speaker 1: or you, and him saying this is so complicated. Some
Speaker 1: other things I want you to ask yourself, and to
Speaker 1: anyone who's listening to this, if you're in this similar situation,
Speaker 1: because I know that this is common and happens a lot,
Speaker 1: some of the things you can ask yourself to really
Speaker 1: try and unpack whether this is truly a complicated situation.
Speaker 1: Are their kids involved, do they live with each other?
Speaker 1: Are they isolated from their family or their support network?
Speaker 1: Like their big questions that I think could make this
Speaker 1: situation more complicated. It could make breaking up with a
Speaker 1: person more complicated that if they don't have kids, if
Speaker 1: they live down the road from their family, if they
Speaker 1: have great friendships and great support networks, if there are
Speaker 1: no if they don't live together, if there's all these
Speaker 1: other factors that say, actually, it's not that complicated, You're
Speaker 1: just making it complicated because of your feelings. Then I
Speaker 1: think that's when you really really need to kind of
Speaker 1: reassess and go I don't even need to afford this
Speaker 1: person some time to make up their decision, because this
Speaker 1: decision is not a hard one to make. They're just
Speaker 1: choosing to make it difficult because it suits their agenda.
Speaker 1: In addition, and another thing, in addition, this does actually happen.
Speaker 1: You said, I've just never felt like this. You know,
Speaker 1: it's something really special. I feel so strongly that kind
Speaker 1: of a thing. There is a high chance that your
Speaker 1: feelings are heightened because of the situation, because you know
Speaker 1: he's not available, you know it's a bit naughty, you
Speaker 1: know it's a bit promiscuous, you know you're doing the
Speaker 1: right thing. It definitely incites feelings that sometimes are not
Speaker 1: actually there, or it makes you feel like there's something
Speaker 1: more to the situation because it is a level of excitement.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to feel that adrenaline rush in some capacity,
Speaker 1: but this isn't the way to feel it. So you
Speaker 1: just need to be aware of that too. If he
Speaker 1: came to you, would you still feel the same way
Speaker 1: if you met him on a dating app, you went
Speaker 1: out to dinner, he was single, do you think you
Speaker 1: would still have this heightened sense of this is the
Speaker 1: most special relationship I could ever have, or do you
Speaker 1: think that's heightened because of the situations? Just food for
Speaker 1: thought there like being attracted to the drama almost I
Speaker 1: think we've talked about this a lot, like being attracted
Speaker 1: to the intensity of chemistry. One thing you said, Britt,
Speaker 1: which I really like, I really really think you'd hit
Speaker 1: the nail on the head. And I think that, like
Speaker 1: a lot of us can take from this, is that
Speaker 1: relationships and your feelings grow when you put time and
Speaker 1: energy into them. And at the moment you are choosing
Speaker 1: to put time and energy into this person, you're choosing
Speaker 1: to spend all these hours on the phone, You're choosing
Speaker 1: to grow your connection with someone who is unavailable. So
Speaker 1: your feelings are absolutely going to grow, and your connection
Speaker 1: is going to continue to get stronger, and you're going
Speaker 1: to feel more bound to this person. And the issue
Speaker 1: with that is that it's going to make it even
Speaker 1: harder for you to break away, or it's going to
Speaker 1: make it even harder for you to see that maybe
Speaker 1: they're doing the wrong thing by you and also by
Speaker 1: their current girlfriend. So be really careful with who you
Speaker 1: invest your time in, because where you invest your time
Speaker 1: is where your energy and your feelings and everything else
Speaker 1: grows from. I think we summ that up pretty well.
Speaker 1: Pat on the back of a gold Star. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: that is in from us and I ask Uncut. You
Speaker 1: guys know that we will be back. Actually we won't
Speaker 1: be back. Brittany will not be here, but I will
Speaker 1: be back tomorrow on our Batch Uncut episode with Matthew Johnson.
Speaker 1: Sorry about that, guys. I know that it's a I
Speaker 1: promise I'm gonna have a wine. Everyone seems to enjoy
Speaker 1: it when I've had a glass of wine and I
Speaker 1: do those episodes. Look, I won't hold back. You only
Speaker 1: need one. I've witnessed it. She's come to my maybe
Speaker 1: she's come to my house to record a podcast before
Speaker 1: and I was like, you were drugs. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: has happened? She's like, I've just had a wine and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I Am going to have a spicy margarita
Speaker 1: and we are going to record Friday's episode. Anyway, guys,
Speaker 1: that is it from us. Thank you to everybody who
Speaker 1: has listened. If you have a question for Ask Uncut,
Speaker 1: slide on in to our Instagram dms. It is Life
Speaker 1: Uncut podcast. We also have the Facebook group and if
Speaker 1: you are a scallywag and you have not left us
Speaker 1: a review an Apple podcast yet, then we are very
Speaker 1: cross with you, and we want you to go into
Speaker 1: it right now, and we'll love you anyway, so keep
Speaker 1: on listening, but you know the drill. Tell your mom,
Speaker 1: tell your dad, tell your dog and everybody else in
Speaker 1: your life, and share the love because we are love.