Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 1: on Cut.
Speaker 2: I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. And today's episode, look, we
Speaker 2: really cover the whole gamut. We talk about some very
Speaker 2: silly things. We talk about a new blowdob machine called
Speaker 2: the Auto Blow Ai Plus, but we also have a
Speaker 2: incredibly important conversation with a beautiful woman named Kelly Flinlayson.
Speaker 1: We are talking about Kelly's battle with bow cancer. Kelly's
Speaker 1: such an incredible person, but she's on a mission to
Speaker 1: raise awareness for early detection.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think one of the big take homes
Speaker 2: for me is bow cancer is something that I have
Speaker 2: always attributed to being an old person's problem. Only twenty
Speaker 2: five when she was diagnosed without cancer. She was also
Speaker 2: diagnosed three months after having her little beautiful baby girl, Sophia.
Speaker 2: But one of the things that I think is the
Speaker 2: most incredible part of Kelly's story is just her unbelievable positivity,
Speaker 2: her resilience, and her determination to beat this cancer.
Speaker 1: Guess whose birthday was on the weekend? Not mine? And
Speaker 1: there's only one of the boom probably someone famous, famous, please,
Speaker 1: I mean probably someone famous out there, but it was
Speaker 1: also yours.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I feel like? If you follow
Speaker 2: me on Instagram, you would probably know because I went
Speaker 2: hard this year. I was like, you know what, everyone,
Speaker 2: it's my birthday and I never do that because I
Speaker 2: never celebrate birthday. It was the Big.
Speaker 1: Three zero, so I congratulations thirty again. Everyone thirty for
Speaker 1: the seventh time. Not even I am thirty seven. I'm
Speaker 1: a proud thirty seven year old.
Speaker 2: And the reason why I think this year I was
Speaker 2: so across Instagram. I was so like, it's my birthday
Speaker 2: is because I think it's the first year this is
Speaker 2: self indulgent, but I feel so happy. I feel so indulgous,
Speaker 2: so happy. I feel so content with being thirty seven.
Speaker 2: I think other years I've been like, oh god, thirty six,
Speaker 2: what does that mean? Who am I? I don't know.
Speaker 2: This year, I was just like, yeah, I'm thirty seven,
Speaker 2: and my boobs are much lower than they were.
Speaker 3: The ruh.
Speaker 1: So funny because it does happen as you get older.
Speaker 1: So as you're aging in your twenties towards thirty, you
Speaker 1: start to get a bit petrified of what's going to
Speaker 1: happen in the next decade, like all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: your life is over. But then when you're in your thirties,
Speaker 1: it gets easier every year because you get more comfortable
Speaker 1: with who you are. I think you're start caring a
Speaker 1: lot less. I think you're more open to just going
Speaker 1: after what you want in life, being content, finding your happiness.
Speaker 1: I think it changes the way you feel in the
Speaker 1: way you look at age changes as you get older.
Speaker 1: I don't know that's what's happening to me.
Speaker 2: I agree, but I think we've sold a very different story.
Speaker 2: I think from when I was in my twenties, I
Speaker 2: was told that, well, as you get older, every year
Speaker 2: it gets worse and worse. You should be more and
Speaker 2: more fearful as that time and clock ticks by. And now, look,
Speaker 2: I'm thirty seven, I'm not turning one hundred. But I
Speaker 2: I think, I genuinely think every year for me has
Speaker 2: gotten better and better. And it's not because of any
Speaker 2: achievements that I've made. It's not because of like work
Speaker 2: or anything like that. It's because I feel more comfortable.
Speaker 2: I'm so much less judgmental on myself. And it's such
Speaker 2: a crazy thing because you look back on your twenties
Speaker 2: and you're like, I was so fit. All the things
Speaker 2: that I would think now that I would want to have,
Speaker 2: I had them in my twenties and I was insecure.
Speaker 2: And now I'm thirty seven, and I truly and honestly
Speaker 2: do not care. I'm gonna and I feel great. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to actually change what I just said. Well,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to change it, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: add to it.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: We can edit it out, so so, Brittany, I do
Speaker 1: agree with you. No, I don't want to because I
Speaker 1: don't want to edit it, but I think I think
Speaker 1: now I want to add to it. I definitely do
Speaker 1: think it's an age thing that you do get more
Speaker 1: comfortable as you grow, but I think it also comes
Speaker 1: with where you are at in life. So I don't
Speaker 1: want to group everyone that's aging in their thirties to
Speaker 1: be you know, you get happier every year. It's definitely
Speaker 1: if you feel like you have what you always thought
Speaker 1: you wanted. Now what I mean by that is, I agree,
Speaker 1: you have a beautiful alationship, and you have your kids,
Speaker 1: and you've got a work that you love, so you
Speaker 1: feel very comfortable and whole with your life. There are
Speaker 1: a lot of people out there that every year is
Speaker 1: going by and they might not have their kids yet
Speaker 1: that they've always wanted, or they might not have found
Speaker 1: quote unquote their soulmate, and maybe those birthdays don't hit
Speaker 1: the same. And I say that because I've done that
Speaker 1: in the past too. I'm a lot more comfortable now
Speaker 1: with aging. I still am nowhere near with what I
Speaker 1: want to have in terms of family life and things
Speaker 1: like that, but there's a level of acceptance. But I
Speaker 1: know there's a lot of other people out there listening
Speaker 1: right now that are like, well fuck that. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm thirty seven and I don't have my child yet.
Speaker 1: So it definitely is dependent on your situation.
Speaker 2: I am so glad you said that, because I think
Speaker 2: for me, I'm at a point in life where maybe
Speaker 2: I guess I used to care a lot what other
Speaker 2: people thought of me, and that used to be a
Speaker 2: really big dictator of my happiness, even if in textbook
Speaker 2: I was where I or what I was supposed to be.
Speaker 2: I leveled up to whatever metric I had placed for myself.
Speaker 2: My care for how other people viewed me really affected me,
Speaker 2: and I think that with age, I care less and
Speaker 2: less what people think of me. You know, you always
Speaker 2: have to care to some extent, but.
Speaker 1: Don't leave us bad reviews. We still care.
Speaker 2: We care. I take it back, No that like I
Speaker 2: think that it's just this level of self acceptance. But
Speaker 2: I absolutely agree, britt. Maybe if I wasn't at a point,
Speaker 2: or if I didn't have the things that I always wanted,
Speaker 2: maybe I wouldn't feel that way.
Speaker 1: I still care what people think, not as much for
Speaker 1: it to bother me, but mine is more accepting of
Speaker 1: the fact that sometimes life's journey for us, and I
Speaker 1: don't like the word journey, but the path that we take,
Speaker 1: let's go with it.
Speaker 2: I'll lean into it.
Speaker 1: Let's lean into it. The journey and the path that
Speaker 1: we have been given might not be the one we
Speaker 1: had planned. And with that acceptance comes a little bit
Speaker 1: of reprieve from the stress and the pressure of I'm
Speaker 1: at this age and I don't have what I want,
Speaker 1: because man, I thought I would have three houses, a husband,
Speaker 1: five dogs, two kids, who.
Speaker 2: I pick it fat they were going to have three
Speaker 2: houses in this climate. Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1: When I was twenty, I was like, I'm setting myself
Speaker 1: a goal. At thirty years old, all I wanted to
Speaker 1: do was hustle, be a property mogul. I literally remember
Speaker 1: saying to my boyfriend, I wanted to have four kids.
Speaker 1: I want to be a young I'm thirty six. Nearly
Speaker 1: this year, I'm thirty six, and I'm like a hurricane.
Speaker 1: But my comfort now comes from the acceptance of the
Speaker 1: future and follow the path I want to take now.
Speaker 2: I really want to reiterate that I think, especially as women,
Speaker 2: that we are sold that age is such a defining
Speaker 2: factor on who we are and our value, Like this
Speaker 2: idea that as we get older, we become more invisible,
Speaker 2: that what we can contribute and who we are as
Speaker 2: people is less and less valuable.
Speaker 1: And I think opportunities dry up, Relationship opportunities dry up.
Speaker 1: That's what we're told when we're in our twenty Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: We're told to be all that were supposed to fret
Speaker 2: as each year rolls by that were supposed to be
Speaker 2: a little bit less, Like no one's supposed to go
Speaker 2: into their forties, being like I'm done and forty and
Speaker 2: that's great. We've been sold that that's not how you
Speaker 2: should approach aging, and I think it takes a real
Speaker 2: mindset shift to each year be like, you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be here. And actually it was
Speaker 2: something that Matt's mom said. So, Matt's mum, she's seventy two,
Speaker 2: Ellie love ely fucking phenomenal. I love my mother in law.
Speaker 2: I hit the mother in law jackpot. But she made
Speaker 2: a comment, she was like, gosh, you know how old
Speaker 2: I'm turning this year? And I was like what, She's like,
Speaker 2: seventy two. That's wild. She's like, I'm seventy two, and
Speaker 2: she's like, you know, you know what, no one wants
Speaker 2: to be seventy two. She's like, no one unless you're
Speaker 2: seventy one, then you really fucking want to be seventy
Speaker 2: two and seventy three.
Speaker 1: It's so true.
Speaker 2: It's so true. Anyway, that was it. I had a
Speaker 2: beautiful weekend with the kids. We went up to Cool
Speaker 2: and Gatter Kingscliff area. We did literally everything it used
Speaker 2: to be. We literally did not know. We did every
Speaker 2: single thing you could possibly do in that area. It
Speaker 2: used to be that, like prior to my birthday, I
Speaker 2: just go out and smash margaritas and that would be
Speaker 2: how I would celebrate. And now we go to things
Speaker 2: like fruit World and take the kids Macedamia, Nu picking.
Speaker 2: What did you think of the area?
Speaker 1: What did you think of Cooley and that area in
Speaker 1: Crima because I often think about moving there. I haven't
Speaker 1: told you that, but I often think about movie not yet, No.
Speaker 2: Stop trying to live life or Scotland ear to me,
Speaker 2: or Scotland is an absolutely better siving here. Just speaking
Speaker 2: of Scotland, Britt leaves in two days to go to Scotland.
Speaker 1: I am and head into Scotland.
Speaker 2: And you don't have to say Scotland like that every
Speaker 2: time you say it. I actually can't say it with
Speaker 2: it that like it's a viscual reaction.
Speaker 1: I have to be Scotland.
Speaker 2: So literally, as we sat down to record this episode,
Speaker 2: the first thing brit says, just before we turn the
Speaker 2: MIC's on, was I can't believe I'm gonna have sex
Speaker 2: in two days. I can't fucking wait. Let's talk about
Speaker 2: that for a second.
Speaker 1: That was off my cloru. Sometimes we have a friendship.
Speaker 2: Conversation happy birthday to you, pretty Hockley.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not my birthday and until August, but I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have a pre birthday celebration in two days.
Speaker 2: What are you most looking forward to? What part of it?
Speaker 1: No, let's get into this. No, of course I'm not.
Speaker 1: Look if I just wanted sex, I wouldn't been a
Speaker 1: long distance relationship.
Speaker 2: I would just.
Speaker 1: Be with someone down the road that I can had
Speaker 1: sex with all the time.
Speaker 2: I love Ben. I love him.
Speaker 1: When I'm with him, I feel amazing and he makes
Speaker 1: me feel like I'm blushing right now, I'm so cute,
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like I'm eighteen right now. No,
Speaker 1: but I love this early feeling in a relationship and
Speaker 1: you often forget, you miss it until you have it again,
Speaker 1: the feeling of just like like what I just said,
Speaker 1: when I'm like I'm blushing and I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: seventeen again, I still get really excited at the thought
Speaker 1: of seeing him and talking to him. And maybe that's
Speaker 1: why I do long distance relationships, because I just want
Speaker 1: to hold onto that feeling forever.
Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing, right, Like, when you're in a
Speaker 2: long distance relationship that is prolonged because normally.
Speaker 1: Oh, will never know if we actually hate each other.
Speaker 4: Well never not.
Speaker 2: We'll never figure it out until you're actually together, and
Speaker 2: then it's too late. You spend so many years committing
Speaker 2: your soul.
Speaker 1: I'm like fifty five, and I'm like, damn it, when
Speaker 1: I finally.
Speaker 2: Live with him, we're actually completely incompatible.
Speaker 1: No, but do you know what I'm actually really looking
Speaker 1: forward to jokes aside sex, aside what come away for sex,
Speaker 1: I'm really looking forward to that connection and intimacy physically
Speaker 1: without the sex, just like affection, have someone cuddle you,
Speaker 1: lay in bed and fall asleep with someone, the little
Speaker 1: like kisses that just that little having someone around you
Speaker 1: that doesn't even have to be touching you, but the
Speaker 1: feeling of having someone in your house and near you,
Speaker 1: even if you're not talking. I've lived alone for so long,
Speaker 1: so I often miss that, and I don't need that
Speaker 1: constant talk. So sometimes I liked it as be in
Speaker 1: the same room as someone.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a very different type of connection that
Speaker 2: you get and a type of comfort that you get
Speaker 2: from like your intimate partner. Like friends can fill the cup,
Speaker 2: friends can fill the void. But I think you don't
Speaker 2: feel me like Ben.
Speaker 1: Oh that I had to do the opportunity was saying.
Speaker 2: I will. I'll fill a lot of other ones, but yeah,
Speaker 2: I'll leave that one to Ben.
Speaker 1: I don't have one you fill my cup Aline that
Speaker 1: way either, Laura. In all seriousness though, there's a big
Speaker 1: part of me, and it's probably wrong to say it,
Speaker 1: but Ben really looks after me. And when I'm there
Speaker 1: and I'm with him, I feel like I just don't
Speaker 1: have to think of anything because I feel like in
Speaker 1: my day to day life I have to do everything
Speaker 1: because I live alone. But like when something's broken, I
Speaker 1: fix it. I have to think about all the bills.
Speaker 1: I have to think about paying this, doing this, cleaning this,
Speaker 1: buying this whatever, whatever it is, it's just everything in
Speaker 1: the one household. So it's really nice to have somebody.
Speaker 1: You know, we run our business and we're constantly making
Speaker 1: the decisions. When I'm there, he just looks after me
Speaker 1: so well, and I just feel like I relaxed. I
Speaker 1: know that he's going to help me out. I know
Speaker 1: he's going to do things for me because he does.
Speaker 1: He goes above and beyond, and there's a really selfish
Speaker 1: part of me.
Speaker 2: That just like can't wait to do that you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be on a mental holiday, lots of sex.
Speaker 2: No one couldn't wait for What else.
Speaker 4: Can I bring you?
Speaker 1: Fuck me, feed me and do everything me, love me,
Speaker 1: fuck me, feed me, and I'm happy girl.
Speaker 3: But do you know what? Okay?
Speaker 2: Then going back to my weekend for a second. So
Speaker 2: it's something I wanted to talk to you about because
Speaker 2: I've realized, Actually, no, I'm not going to say that
Speaker 2: I'm the mom that I thought I would never be.
Speaker 2: But I dealt with something on the weekend. After posting
Speaker 2: to Instagram. I dealt with some backlash and a wonderful
Speaker 2: troll told me what a ship parent I was, and
Speaker 2: I kind of wanted to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Oh, you got mum shamed.
Speaker 2: I got mum shamed hardcore. So I put up a
Speaker 2: post yesterday, put up a post on Sunday, and it
Speaker 2: was Matt and I going out for a date night
Speaker 2: for dinner. But obviously we were away with the kids,
Speaker 2: and so we didn't have babysitters, so we brought the
Speaker 2: kids to date night.
Speaker 1: I thought were about to say, so we just left
Speaker 1: the kids at home.
Speaker 2: No, apparently you can't do that with they're three and two.
Speaker 2: We brought them to date night, and also because it
Speaker 2: was like my birthday dinner. But to be fair, they
Speaker 2: probably weren't particularly in the mood to go out for dinner.
Speaker 2: They would have liked to have just eaten at the
Speaker 2: hotel and gone to bed. But you know what, I
Speaker 2: was like, it's my last night, I want to go
Speaker 2: out for a dinner. It was a super early dinner.
Speaker 2: It was six pm. It's not like we're going out
Speaker 2: having rages when we've got the kids with us.
Speaker 1: Totally, the sun was stiller.
Speaker 2: But you know what, every so often when you take
Speaker 2: the kids out for dinner and you just want to
Speaker 2: have a conversation with your partner, You just want to
Speaker 2: sit down and have an adult conversation where the two
Speaker 2: of you were speaking to each other and you're not
Speaker 2: running around after your children. Because trust me, Laura does
Speaker 2: not stay in her seat. She will be in her
Speaker 2: seat for ten minutes and then she's climbing out, And
Speaker 2: the only way to stop her from distracting everybody else
Speaker 2: is to give them your one hundred percent focus, which
Speaker 2: means there's no point in going out for dinner anyway,
Speaker 2: because you don't actually get to speak to each other.
Speaker 1: You may to stay at home.
Speaker 2: So I brought a friend along with me. I brought
Speaker 2: their iPads. You did what I did. I brought their
Speaker 2: iPads and I set them up at dinner. Are the worst?
Speaker 2: Such a neglect and you were so neglectful. And you
Speaker 2: know what I always thought when I, like, before I
Speaker 2: had kids, I was like, I will never be the
Speaker 2: parent that distracts my children with screens. I will never
Speaker 2: be the parent that brings an iPad with me. But
Speaker 2: then you become a parent and you realize how absolutely
Speaker 2: judgmental that is, because sometimes you just need help.
Speaker 1: I don't know one of my friends that have kids
Speaker 1: that didn't say that. Every single person I know that
Speaker 1: had a kid is like, I am never going to
Speaker 1: be that mum. My kid's going to go outside and play.
Speaker 1: They're going and play with toys, wooden toys, not plastic.
Speaker 1: You know, everyone has this idea and of course that's great,
Speaker 1: but no, it doesn't work in reality. Everyone wants to
Speaker 1: be the best possible parent that they can be. Reality
Speaker 1: is a different thing. You have that child that's twenty
Speaker 1: four to seven, and you do need an hour of
Speaker 1: reprieve sometimes, and if that means they sit there and
Speaker 1: watch Bluey or whatever else it is. I think it's okay, hey,
Speaker 1: as long as it's not a twenty four to seven thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But I think also when you say that you know
Speaker 2: everyone wants to be the best parent that they can be,
Speaker 2: I still feel like people. I'm sure there are parents
Speaker 2: who rely too heavily on iPads and screen time because
Speaker 2: it's an easy distractor. I've got no doubt that they exist.
Speaker 2: But I would say the majority of parents still want
Speaker 2: to be the best parents that they can be. Most
Speaker 2: people are very conscious and cognizant of the impact of
Speaker 2: iPads and the impact of letting kids just sit on
Speaker 2: screens for too long, even if it is so easy
Speaker 2: to do. I think, giving people the benefit of the doubt,
Speaker 2: majority of parents want to do a really good job.
Speaker 2: But I posted this yesterday, and this was my photo
Speaker 2: to Instagram, and this was a caption barely post a
Speaker 2: month and triple dumps in one day because I put
Speaker 2: three pictures up in one day. I did. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: went wild anyway, hold me back. And then the rest
Speaker 2: of it was date night, except with a couple of
Speaker 2: overtired hooligans and their iPads because tonight I'd love to
Speaker 2: get through a single conversation without chasing a toddler through
Speaker 2: the restaurant yelling get back in your chair.
Speaker 1: So you actually owned it. You owned the fact that
Speaker 1: you're like, I know that I'm giving them an iPad,
Speaker 1: so you like tried to pre out the trolls from coming.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, I wasn't even pre outing the trolls.
Speaker 2: I was just owning the fact that, like literally ninety
Speaker 2: percent of parents will do it from time to time
Speaker 2: and that it's okay. And I think sometimes, you know,
Speaker 2: having these relatable parenting moments where you see somebody else
Speaker 2: who's on Instagram. You know, we had our kids, We
Speaker 2: took them to so many activities that day. Sometimes you
Speaker 2: can look at how other people are parenting and you think,
Speaker 2: oh god, why do they have it so easy? And
Speaker 2: I also think it's important to show the shade that
Speaker 2: it's definitely not easy for us either, Like we absolutely
Speaker 2: have our moments with our kids.
Speaker 1: So what did you come at you with?
Speaker 2: Why take kids to a date night? Maybe the rest
Speaker 2: of the date nights would have a better time. And
Speaker 2: then there was some back and forth and then this
Speaker 2: person you respond, No, no, I didn't respond. Other people did oh,
Speaker 2: I made it a rule to not bring my children
Speaker 2: on date nights. Luxury has nothing to do with it.
Speaker 2: Respect for other people has everything to do with it.
Speaker 2: But then again, I was taught that as a child.
Speaker 2: And then it goes on to say, as a parent,
Speaker 2: I actually spoke to my children, we didn't put things
Speaker 2: in their hands to entertain them, and now my child
Speaker 2: has respect for people too.
Speaker 1: The audacity.
Speaker 2: I was pretty irate by this because I think I
Speaker 2: can actually imagine because I know you well. The reason
Speaker 2: why I got me so fired up is because it
Speaker 2: comes down to this one reoccurring thing that I see.
Speaker 2: The only people that I ever see shaming mums for
Speaker 2: doing a shit job in their eyes are other mums
Speaker 2: who have already done it. It's other mums who hold
Speaker 2: people up to the standard and say like, you're not
Speaker 2: doing it the way I did it, and so therefore
Speaker 2: you're doing it wrong. And I guess, like, when I
Speaker 2: look at that, I think, you know it's not dads
Speaker 2: are not shaming moms. People who don't have kids are
Speaker 2: not shaming mums. It's other mums. And I don't understand
Speaker 2: why we do it to each other. No, And I
Speaker 2: mean just to really reiterate that. Not that long ago
Speaker 2: when we had Rebel Wilson on the podcast and she
Speaker 2: was talking about being mum shamed, so she I mean,
Speaker 2: she's got a platform of say, twelve million followers, so
Speaker 2: hers would be next level, right, she said the same
Speaker 2: thing she said out of If you look, you know,
Speaker 2: statistically at how many people follow her, She's like, it
Speaker 2: is all mums and women when you go on their pages.
Speaker 1: She's like, it's never a man that comes on to Shamus.
Speaker 1: I wonder why it's hard for me. I'm not a mum,
Speaker 1: but I wonder why that is. Where does that judgmental
Speaker 1: attitude come from.
Speaker 2: I think it comes back to a bit of internalized misogyny.
Speaker 2: I think it comes back to this idea that as mothers,
Speaker 2: we should be sacrificial, that we should be doing everything
Speaker 2: for our children, and that if you prioritize yourself at
Speaker 2: the expense of your child, that you're then putting them
Speaker 2: at a deficit. And I think because that has been
Speaker 2: ingrained in us for so long that when you see
Speaker 2: a mom step outside of that, when you see them
Speaker 2: do something that you think, oh, I would never do that,
Speaker 2: then instantly that reaction, well, I wouldn't say that's for everyone.
Speaker 2: We're so quick to make judgment on something was one paragraph,
Speaker 2: it's one comment, it's one picture. You know, you make
Speaker 2: judgment based on one instance in time, and that informs
Speaker 2: your opinion of that entire person or the entire way
Speaker 2: that they parent. It just comes back full circle. You
Speaker 2: can have grand plans.
Speaker 1: And think you're going to be a specific person in
Speaker 1: any aspect of life. You're going to go into a
Speaker 1: relationship or parenting or a job in a certain way,
Speaker 1: and life has other plans for you. Things change. On
Speaker 1: top of that, we're in a different generation now, where
Speaker 1: our generation, I mean iPads and technology wasn't really around.
Speaker 1: But now your kids are almost at a disadvantage going
Speaker 1: into school if they don't know how to use those things.
Speaker 1: And I hate to say that because I wish we
Speaker 1: lived in a world where the kids did just play
Speaker 1: and they didn't have to be online. But a lot
Speaker 1: of schools, now this blew my mind. A lot of
Speaker 1: schools don't even have chalk anymore, like a chalkboard, you
Speaker 1: know how used to run a chalkboard?
Speaker 2: What? Yes, they use.
Speaker 1: Projectors from an iPad and they all have iPads and
Speaker 1: it's a whole nother world. Some kids don't even know
Speaker 1: what chalk.
Speaker 2: Is, Laura. Everybody yes screwed because of technology. It also
Speaker 2: will be well, well connected and all super lonely. Not
Speaker 2: a nice segue, but I want to talk about blowjobs.
Speaker 2: That is a very weird segue from going from mum
Speaker 2: shaming to blowjobs.
Speaker 1: That's what we do here.
Speaker 2: We cover it's because Britt will be giving a few
Speaker 2: of them this weekend.
Speaker 1: Definitely not like this. Wait, shall I tell you this now?
Speaker 1: I have just shown you a photo, Laura. But there's
Speaker 1: a new it's called auto blow and it's it's AI.
Speaker 2: This is the fucking weirdest segue, Like, let me talk
Speaker 2: about Look, it's a fleshlight that we're gonna be talking about.
Speaker 2: It's AI.
Speaker 1: It's artificial intelligence in a blowdrob. So it's a masturbation
Speaker 1: tool for men.
Speaker 2: It's a flashlight, but it's a fancy flesh light.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a fleshlight on steroid.
Speaker 2: It's like this thing.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna first of all, before we talk about what
Speaker 1: it doesn't gonna describe it to you. When I first
Speaker 1: saw it, I really got soda stream vibe.
Speaker 2: You've got soda stream and I got soft serve machine.
Speaker 2: It looks like a soft serve.
Speaker 1: It's like a little if you guys know what soft serve,
Speaker 1: or like a soda stream where you put the thing in.
Speaker 1: So it's like a little contraption. It's pretty narrow, like
Speaker 1: I don't know how tall it is, maybe twenty centimeters.
Speaker 4: Do you know what?
Speaker 2: We're gonna put a picture of it on our Instagram.
Speaker 2: We'll put a picture up. But then I would not
Speaker 2: looking at me like, can you please not put this
Speaker 2: on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Then it looks like it has this material like this
Speaker 1: soft silicon at the top, then a long Dill dot
Speaker 1: we tube. Then it's got some screws and some locks.
Speaker 1: And I would not want this thing anywhere near my
Speaker 1: deck if I had a penis. But what it is
Speaker 1: is it has a silicone mouth sleeve. It is a
Speaker 1: masturbation to afford the penis. It goes into it like
Speaker 1: a vagina. But it has a remote control and it
Speaker 1: has all these voice command and has all these different
Speaker 1: types of blow job technique. So it goes this soft
Speaker 1: serve part, goes up and down, goes around, changes the tightness,
Speaker 1: does all this blow job start?
Speaker 2: I feel like, you've never seen a flesh light before,
Speaker 2: because you just described a flesh light.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, because flesh lights aren't remote controlled and
Speaker 1: don't do blowjobs. Flesh lights is just it feels like
Speaker 1: a nice, tight, warm apple pipe.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So normally I feel like with okay, this is
Speaker 2: really getting descriptive. If you've never seen a flash light,
Speaker 2: this might be foreign to you. A lot of them
Speaker 2: are manual, so a guy would just get hard, stick
Speaker 2: his penis in it, and then bang it up and down,
Speaker 2: you know, and that's what feels and simulates being inside someone.
Speaker 1: It's just like using a dildo. Like it's manual, you
Speaker 1: still have to It's the same thing for a man.
Speaker 1: So they get their flesh light, they still have to
Speaker 1: manually do it.
Speaker 2: So the thing that's different about this is it has
Speaker 2: almost like a clamp that clamps down on the penis,
Speaker 2: and it's the clamp that moves. I'm making clamp sounds
Speaker 2: very visceral, but it's like screw it. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 2: it is technically like a plastic clamp. But now, the
Speaker 2: thing that is also quite interesting about this, I don't
Speaker 2: know why we're talking about it still, but we're going
Speaker 2: to keep on going down that track is that it
Speaker 2: comes with different sleeves, so you can choose a vagina sleeve,
Speaker 2: you can choose an anal sleeve, or you can choose
Speaker 2: a mouth sleeve.
Speaker 1: They are sold separately, yes, not included in the costs.
Speaker 1: Must by separately, can use together.
Speaker 2: So you can experience a different sensation. And it has
Speaker 2: this AI technology now, so you can literally speak to
Speaker 2: your flesh light and tell it to go down on
Speaker 2: you in different ways, so it'll perform more of a
Speaker 2: sucking motion, more of a sucking twist motion, whatever it is.
Speaker 2: Some people like different, you know, different strokes for different folks.
Speaker 2: That literally applies in this in this instance.
Speaker 1: It has ten blowjob experiences, ten speeds per experience, and
Speaker 1: the edge button to pause your blow job at any
Speaker 1: time so you can edge yourself. Theoretically this is brilliant.
Speaker 1: But why is it now? This is a conversation that
Speaker 1: we were all having off air between ourselves produce Kisha,
Speaker 1: Laura and myself. Why is it that there is something
Speaker 1: about this it's a bit creepy because it's just a
Speaker 1: masturbation tool, right, Why does it feel a little bit off?
Speaker 2: Okay? I feel like for me and we were having
Speaker 2: a laugh about this, like this is how this came up.
Speaker 2: We were laughing about this auto blow AI plus thing,
Speaker 2: and we were like, why does this exist? But I
Speaker 2: think the real question is why do we see female
Speaker 2: sex toys, sex toys like dildos and vibrators as this
Speaker 2: almost empowering movement. We see sex toys for women, like one,
Speaker 2: they don't usually look like body parts, they're usually like
Speaker 2: quite pretty and almost especially on social media now, like
Speaker 2: women posing with their dildos, we see it as kind
Speaker 2: of a take on female sexual empowerment. If a guy
Speaker 2: was to post a photo on social media posing with
Speaker 2: his fleshlight, would we feel the same? Would we see
Speaker 2: it as empowering? I don't think so, Which makes me
Speaker 2: think that we see male masturbation tools and female masturbation
Speaker 2: tools very very differently, and we put them in different camps,
Speaker 2: which technically we shouldn't do. And where does that come from?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, right, that's a big question that we
Speaker 1: don't have answers for. Yes, for me, I like the
Speaker 1: idea of masturbation tools accessories to look as simple as possible.
Speaker 1: I'm talking just a beautiful, smooth, vibrated dildo. I don't
Speaker 1: want it to be hanging from something and plugged in
Speaker 1: and WIPEI and plastic coming off it in all angles
Speaker 1: and shapes. Personal thing.
Speaker 2: You like a chic. You're like a little pink chic
Speaker 2: looking sleepy things, sexy, poor a dildo that looks as
Speaker 2: far away from an actual penis as possible. But when
Speaker 2: I look at this contraption, so even it looks more
Speaker 2: like Keisha's frank green water bottle than it doesn't pis.
Speaker 2: It's pastor purple.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at this now, you guys will put a
Speaker 1: picture up on our Instagram. There is nothing about this
Speaker 1: that I would want to be using in a sexy
Speaker 1: intimate relationship with my partner.
Speaker 2: It literally has blue.
Speaker 1: Plastic everywhere, screws, clamps, corkdowns, has got a voice machine there.
Speaker 1: It doesn't do it for me. I'd be interested to
Speaker 1: see how many people look at this and we'll be
Speaker 1: turned on.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I don't think it's for our demographic
Speaker 2: of females. I feel like this is very much I mean,
Speaker 2: even the coloring of it is very much full man. However,
Speaker 2: I disagree with you in some ways because I think
Speaker 2: the thing about guys pleasure toys or whatever we want
Speaker 2: to call them. Flesh lights, and whatnot is that they
Speaker 2: always seem to look very much like they are mimicking
Speaker 2: a body part. When I think of flesh lights, they're
Speaker 2: literally flesh colored. This the top of it. Yes, the
Speaker 2: rest of it is blue, but the top of it
Speaker 2: is the color of a mouth, or a vagina or
Speaker 2: a butt. Very few vibrators these days are made to
Speaker 2: look like a pedis. I remember, like the old school
Speaker 2: one that were all veiny, and I mean I remember
Speaker 2: finding one under my mum's bed. That's a whole other story,
Speaker 2: but it literally looked like an amputated penis lying under
Speaker 2: a bed, Whereas now you could find someone's vibrator and
Speaker 2: you'd be like, ooh, cute, in offensive. Fine, you might
Speaker 2: not even know what it is. Yeah, I found a
Speaker 2: bag of dicks under my mum's bed as a kid,
Speaker 2: a bag of dicks.
Speaker 1: Do you think I haven't heard this? The only thing
Speaker 1: I will say is I haven't heard what's sound this makes.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if it's like because it's mechanical,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like ring ring, or if
Speaker 1: it's like a blow drum.
Speaker 2: Is like anyway, I think like the big take home
Speaker 2: from this conversation, we're all very confused by it. But
Speaker 2: the take that's my.
Speaker 1: Point, not everything else have a point.
Speaker 2: No, I think there is a point. I think the
Speaker 2: point is almost reframing why do we see sex toys
Speaker 2: in such different ways. I don't think that we're being biased,
Speaker 2: Like I'm thinking it's not just us who thinks this.
Speaker 1: I also think it's very societal. We're just having a
Speaker 1: real moment at the moment where everywhere you look women
Speaker 1: and there's sex toys and women in masturbation and women
Speaker 1: in pleasure.
Speaker 2: It's out in having a moment.
Speaker 1: It's having a moment, and it's out and as loud
Speaker 1: and it's proud and it's amazing. But we don't see
Speaker 1: it as much for the men. So then when we do,
Speaker 1: it's a bit taboo.
Speaker 4: Still.
Speaker 2: Well do you know why as well? It's because male
Speaker 2: sexual pleasure has always been out, loud and proud. It
Speaker 2: has always been in public display. I mean, there's always
Speaker 2: been the conversation about men are sexually driven, that it's
Speaker 2: like very common for men to masturbate. Male sexual desire
Speaker 2: has been well documented and spoken about throughout all of time.
Speaker 2: And the reason why it's almost like the pendulum has
Speaker 2: had to swing so far in the opposite direction is
Speaker 2: because for women, for so long it was taboo, and
Speaker 2: women are reclaiming that now. But it's almost like for
Speaker 2: men that it's become shameful for them to be out
Speaker 2: and proud and sexual about it. I would love.
Speaker 1: Anyone listening if you have used one of these in
Speaker 1: your relationship, or if you're a guy listener you've used one,
Speaker 1: I'd love you to run in and tell us just
Speaker 1: purely curiosity to see how similar it is to getting
Speaker 1: a blowjob. That's what I want to know. That's my
Speaker 1: take home.
Speaker 2: Like contact us and tell us talk us through your
Speaker 2: fleshlight experience. Yeah, like an out of ten. I want
Speaker 2: you to go now.
Speaker 1: And it's called the auto blow a one plus an
Speaker 1: automatic jerk off machine roughly the size and shape of
Speaker 1: a small box with round edges.
Speaker 2: Please, if you have used one, let us know. Just
Speaker 2: Curiosity connects to Wi Fi you can download different experiences.
Speaker 2: You can control the blow job using voice command. But anyway,
Speaker 2: if a Flashlight would like to sponsor this podcast, come
Speaker 2: on board next week.
Speaker 1: Joining us on the podcast today is Kelly Finlayson. Now,
Speaker 1: Kelly is married to Port Adelaide AFL player Jeremy Finlayson.
Speaker 1: They just recently got married, so big congratulations.
Speaker 4: Together.
Speaker 1: They have a baby girl named Sophia. In August twenty
Speaker 1: twenty one, after just giving birth to her daughter and
Speaker 1: at only twenty five years old, Kelly was diagnosed with
Speaker 1: bow cancer. She was otherwise happy and healthy. Kelly has
Speaker 1: been sharing her battle with cancer on social media in
Speaker 1: an effort to raise awareness around the disease, especially in
Speaker 1: young people. Now, at just twenty seven, she has received
Speaker 1: the news that the bow cancer has spread. The disease
Speaker 1: has now metastasized to her lungs, where it has been
Speaker 1: diagnosed as stage for and terminal. I saw Kelly's story
Speaker 1: like many have on Instagram, and knew we wanted to
Speaker 1: help her on her mission to raise awareness for this
Speaker 1: horrible disease. Kelly, welcome to life uncut. Thanks for having me, No,
Speaker 1: thank you for making the time. We of course want
Speaker 1: your most embarrassing moment. We want to throw you under
Speaker 1: a bus. What is your accidentally unfiltered?
Speaker 3: Okay, So I actually had to ask my partner if
Speaker 3: I was allowed to share this because it is quite abassing.
Speaker 1: That's always a good start when you're like, let me check.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I did have to check. So when we were very,
Speaker 4: very fresh.
Speaker 3: It was actually around Easter time, when we're very fresh
Speaker 3: in the relationship, and I obviously have had really bad
Speaker 3: vows for quite some time, and I had left a
Speaker 3: little bit of a Pooh stain on a quick cover
Speaker 3: and convinced him that it was chocolate to the point
Speaker 3: because it was Easter time, to the point that he
Speaker 3: like wiped it.
Speaker 2: No, No, at least you have a baby. You could
Speaker 2: have blamed it on though you didn't have to take
Speaker 2: faul for that.
Speaker 4: No, the baby didn't exist. No, we didn't have babies
Speaker 4: at this turn. This was like three weeks in. Yeah,
Speaker 4: this is very fresh.
Speaker 1: That is actually, Kelly, I'm going to say it, that
Speaker 1: has to be one of the most embarrassing ones I've
Speaker 1: ever had.
Speaker 4: Mortified.
Speaker 2: At least he didn't put it to his mouth. At
Speaker 2: least it was just his nose.
Speaker 1: He smelt it and then did he call it? Was
Speaker 1: he like, babe, I know that's Pooh.
Speaker 3: It was like, no, one, you need to go to
Speaker 3: the gift shot yourself.
Speaker 4: Mortifying.
Speaker 1: Actually, there's not often that I'm It's not often that
Speaker 1: I put myself in the position and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: mortified for this person, but I actually am.
Speaker 3: And at the time, he was in it like an
Speaker 3: apartment building that they had to share launcher on each
Speaker 3: level because he was living in Sydney's obviously really small apartments.
Speaker 3: And I literally took the sheetsps straight away, the quick
Speaker 3: growl straight away and put it into the wash and
Speaker 3: just pretended nothing happened.
Speaker 2: I know that we've just started, We've gotten right in there.
Speaker 2: We started with the poo chat, but I feel like
Speaker 2: we're going to get pretty comfortable and talking about things.
Speaker 2: And I'm guessing that you are now at a point
Speaker 2: in your life where speaking about poo must be something
Speaker 2: that you are very comfortable with. Can you tell us
Speaker 2: we're going to get into talking about your diagnosis and
Speaker 2: everything that has been happening to you over the last
Speaker 2: year and a half, But what was your life like
Speaker 2: beforehand before you found out that something had gone wrong?
Speaker 4: So prior to.
Speaker 3: A diagnosis, we had just had Sophia, so she was
Speaker 3: three months old. We'd just moved home to Adelaide from
Speaker 3: Sydney with Jess's job. Luckily enough, able to get a trade,
Speaker 3: to be closer to family for help with So things
Speaker 3: were actually just going really really well. Obviously having a
Speaker 3: new babies exciting as it is, but then also being
Speaker 3: closer to home, closer to all my friends because I
Speaker 3: grew up in Essay and then went to school in Adelaide.
Speaker 4: So I was like, finally, like gonna start.
Speaker 3: Living my life, living the milk life on the beach. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but no, it didn't turn out that way. Obviously, So
Speaker 3: I was a school teacher, but obviously during COVID didn't
Speaker 3: teach much all online.
Speaker 1: So I was, yeah, were you primary school or high school?
Speaker 4: No? Am a high school math teacher?
Speaker 1: I you I would never have guessed that.
Speaker 3: No, no one really does. I don't come across as
Speaker 3: the most intelligent human.
Speaker 4: But no, no, it's not that.
Speaker 1: I just feel like when I think of high school
Speaker 1: math teachers and I think they're young miles. I don't
Speaker 1: think of the people. I think of those old men
Speaker 1: with the glasses.
Speaker 4: Yeah, old men, I know.
Speaker 3: And funnily enough, all of university obviously, because doing math
Speaker 3: courses were all like engineering courses, they were all like
Speaker 3: middle aged men.
Speaker 1: Imagine the school kids, imagine like seventeen year old kids.
Speaker 1: When Kelly walks all of a sudden, I love math
Speaker 1: very distracting.
Speaker 4: You can imagine the comments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kelly, I mean going back to your accidently on
Speaker 2: filter story. I mean, I know I can't. We haven't
Speaker 2: move on from it because we've got a head back there.
Speaker 2: But I mean your story. And there was a diagnosis
Speaker 2: that came after Sophia was born, but you just mentioned
Speaker 2: that you were having issues with your bows kind of
Speaker 2: a long time before that. Can you give us a
Speaker 2: little bit of context around like what you were experiencing
Speaker 2: and at what point did you realize, Okay, something is
Speaker 2: absolutely not right here.
Speaker 3: So I had about two to three years of symptoms
Speaker 3: in terms of just differences in my found movements and
Speaker 3: stuff like that, and like they're bloating, just anything that
Speaker 3: you kind of relate to period. So like all of
Speaker 3: the symptoms around your period, I was getting, but like
Speaker 3: more than just the week of my period, which I
Speaker 3: thought was just me being a girl. And then obviously
Speaker 3: when I was pregnant, all the pregnancy symptoms were very
Speaker 3: similar as well. So it wasn't until I actually had
Speaker 3: blood in my poo that I.
Speaker 4: Thought something was wrong.
Speaker 3: I thought I was just like everyone else had had
Speaker 3: the lactose intolerance or something like that.
Speaker 1: It's funny that you say that when you say I
Speaker 1: just thought I was being a girl, because you're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just my crazy hormones this week. Yeah, we always
Speaker 1: passed it off as something. But when you went to
Speaker 1: the doctor with these initial symptoms, what did they tell
Speaker 1: you it was? What advice did they give you in
Speaker 1: the early stages when you were like, oh, I don't
Speaker 1: feel right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So initially I went and got seen by nature
Speaker 3: paths and whatnot, and like did all of the herbal
Speaker 3: teas and all of the stuff like that, and then
Speaker 3: I started twenty twenty. I actually did a poo sample
Speaker 3: which must have shown up some sort of discrepancy because
Speaker 3: they booked me for colonoscopy, which then got canceled because
Speaker 3: of COVID because it was an elective surgery or procedure.
Speaker 4: But yeah, so initially it.
Speaker 3: Was literally just avoid these foods and test if it's
Speaker 3: an aalergy to this food, or maybe you were not
Speaker 3: exercising enough, even though I was running marathons, so like
Speaker 3: wasn't an issue not drinking enough water and just like
Speaker 3: the general chitch out of that stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, were you in any pain at the time or
Speaker 2: was it just this kind of you know, symptomatic kind
Speaker 2: of discomfort.
Speaker 3: Yeah, discomfort, Absolutely, no pain. I've never had pain even
Speaker 3: after diagnosis, during all my treatment.
Speaker 4: Never pain.
Speaker 1: How is it that you did your pooh sample and
Speaker 1: they found something wasn't correct right enough to say you
Speaker 1: need to go for a kolonoscopy? But then they can
Speaker 1: cancel the kolonoscopy because they're saying it's elective and you're
Speaker 1: choosing to what do you have to do for it
Speaker 1: to not be elected? What do you have to do
Speaker 1: to say, like if you had markers in your pooh
Speaker 1: to say you required further examination, how can they possibly
Speaker 1: cancel that? Because there must be a part of you.
Speaker 1: Now that's like what if I went earlier, Like what
Speaker 1: if you didn't cancel that appointment and I got my
Speaker 1: testing when I needed it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's right, So like if I that's what
Speaker 3: kind of what I'm advocating for at the moment, is
Speaker 3: like the early detection, because if I had have gone,
Speaker 3: I could have literally just got the polyp or whatever
Speaker 3: was there removed, and I would have never even had
Speaker 3: to have treatment or like a reception nothing like that,
Speaker 3: which is kind of frustrating, But it's because I didn't
Speaker 3: actually have blood in my stool at the time. It
Speaker 3: was just I guess an abnormal amount of some sort
Speaker 3: of nutrients or whatever that they wanted to check if
Speaker 3: I had chrones or something similar to that, like an
Speaker 3: irritable bower rather than just the sensitive bower. So yeah,
Speaker 3: they were kind of checking me more so for that
Speaker 3: because of my age, obviously, which is kind of frustrating
Speaker 3: because it's literally the leading cancer killer for twenty five
Speaker 3: to thirty four year olds. So it's like I didn't
Speaker 3: know that then. I had no idea about boat cancer then,
Speaker 3: but now obviously I know more about it.
Speaker 2: I mean, your three months postpartum, and I would also
Speaker 2: assume that during that phase, there's already so many changes
Speaker 2: that are happening to your body that it's probably possible
Speaker 2: for you to kind of think that maybe this is
Speaker 2: part of the postpartum phase as well. So when you
Speaker 2: went for your colonoscopy and and I'm guessing an endoscopy
Speaker 2: and they did all of the greenings, what was that
Speaker 2: period like and kind of how did you then find
Speaker 2: out how progressed things were in terms of cancer.
Speaker 3: I definitely did just pass off everything as postpartum because
Speaker 3: it was my first child.
Speaker 4: I had nothing to compare it to.
Speaker 2: We can hear her now, I liked out Dady Daddy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I just passed everything off as postpartum because
Speaker 3: I had nothing to compare it to. I had no
Speaker 3: friends that I had had babies either, so it was
Speaker 3: kind of hard to even talk to them about whether
Speaker 3: it was right or not. All I had was doctor Google,
Speaker 3: which is never a good idea. So then when I
Speaker 3: finally saw so, Jeremy actually made a joke about me
Speaker 3: hav each other toilet way too often that we would
Speaker 3: need to drive around with a waterloo because we were
Speaker 3: always stopping off at every petrofesstation to go to the toilet,
Speaker 3: even though I couldn't actually go.
Speaker 4: It was just a tumor in my column.
Speaker 3: That I felt like I need to pass, but I
Speaker 3: couldn't pass it obviously because it's a tumor. But yeah,
Speaker 3: So then we went to a doctor and she was
Speaker 3: like straight away when I said there was blood, she
Speaker 3: was like, that's not good at all, Like, obviously, yes,
Speaker 3: you can have blood and toilet paper from like wiping
Speaker 3: too hard or whatever. But in the actual poo itself
Speaker 3: was like a big scary no no.
Speaker 4: I saw a specialist two days.
Speaker 3: Later, had a colonoscopy within a week, and the next
Speaker 3: day I was seeing a surgeon.
Speaker 4: So it was like very very fast paced.
Speaker 1: So what was the time frame, just to get our
Speaker 1: head around it, what was the timeframe when you were
Speaker 1: supposed to get your colonoscopy originally in COVID to when
Speaker 1: you were actually diagnosed.
Speaker 3: So March twenty twenty and then I got diagnosed November
Speaker 3: twenty twenty one, so eighteen months.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, that must be so frustrating for you.
Speaker 4: So frustrating because it was like so progressed.
Speaker 2: When you got to a point where you and I
Speaker 2: mean this is quite a graphic question, but when you
Speaker 2: got to the point where you were like, okay, there
Speaker 2: is blood now. Was it consistent, like every time you
Speaker 2: went to the toilet you were like, all right, there's
Speaker 2: always blood, yeah, and I need to go and sort
Speaker 2: this out. Was that when the real alarm bells started
Speaker 2: ringing for you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so probably like three days straight of the blood.
Speaker 3: Prior to that, I thought I was just bleeding from
Speaker 3: having a baby naturally, like vaginally, because sorry, every birth
Speaker 3: is natural. But yeah, I thought that there was just
Speaker 3: blood from that because it was eight weeks or so that.
Speaker 4: That can happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then it was like maybe three or four
Speaker 3: days that it just happened in a row a month
Speaker 3: later that I was like, I can't be my period
Speaker 3: already because I'm breastfeeding, Like, surely not.
Speaker 4: So then I was like, it's definitely in my poo.
Speaker 3: And then I'd like actually looked in the toilet bowl
Speaker 3: and for like three days straight it was in there.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I imagine that that moment that you get
Speaker 1: called in the day after to have the discussion about
Speaker 1: what's next. I imagine that's a day now that will
Speaker 1: you know, it literally changed the course of your life.
Speaker 1: What was that day like and was it really just
Speaker 1: jumping into action? Was it like this is it we
Speaker 1: start tomorrow?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So the day of the colonoscopy, I actually found out
Speaker 3: that it was cancer just because the gastro antologist told me.
Speaker 3: He was like, this is what cancer looks like. He
Speaker 3: basically showed me a photo of the insides of my bow,
Speaker 3: and I was like, holy shit, like cancer, I'm twenty
Speaker 3: five at the time, and I was like, that is
Speaker 3: not something that I would have thought it would be. Ever,
Speaker 3: Like I thought they wouldn't give me a nutrition plan
Speaker 3: of how to deal with crones or.
Speaker 4: Something like that.
Speaker 3: And then he was like, way too much to process
Speaker 3: tonight sort of thing, but I've booked you in for
Speaker 3: four point thirty tomorrow. He's a great surgeon, like at Flinder's,
Speaker 3: Like it was just it was also go go go.
Speaker 3: So I literally just went home, had two friends meet
Speaker 3: me home straight away, and like I couldn't even talk
Speaker 3: to them about it because I was like, it's not real.
Speaker 3: Like I was in denial, complete denial. I think we
Speaker 3: all were, to be honest. And then the next day
Speaker 3: I saw the surgeon and he was like, we got
Speaker 3: to send you for a B and C tests. All
Speaker 3: the tests make sure that we know where it's progressed,
Speaker 3: so we know which course of action to take. Like
Speaker 3: if it's only stage one, they just removed cancerous cells
Speaker 3: and basically nine nine percent chance of complete survival, like
Speaker 3: nothing further. Stage two would be maybe a bit of treatment.
Speaker 3: Stage three is like heavy treatment, and the sage four
Speaker 3: is obviously terminal.
Speaker 4: So originally we thought stage three because it was in
Speaker 4: the lymph nodes.
Speaker 3: And then when we had a pet scan it was
Speaker 3: tracking up like that, so like straight away at stage four,
Speaker 3: so it had already moved from the original spot up
Speaker 3: further towards my spine. So it was like basically straight
Speaker 3: away when bam, like got to get it onto this.
Speaker 1: So did they tell you that? And on that day
Speaker 1: they just really don't beat around the bush?
Speaker 2: Are they like this?
Speaker 1: It is what it is.
Speaker 3: They can't beat around the bush, like they can't sugarcoat
Speaker 3: it because it's that wouldn't be fair on me.
Speaker 4: But also like their job is literally to tell me
Speaker 4: this is what we have to do in order to
Speaker 4: prolong the life.
Speaker 2: How do you process that, especially knowing you've just had
Speaker 2: a little baby, your life is heading in this incredible direction,
Speaker 2: and then you just get this unbelievable news, Like how
Speaker 2: do you even process what's going on around you?
Speaker 3: It was denial for a very very long time. And
Speaker 3: also like so while we're going through like the treatment
Speaker 3: side of things, it's kind of just everything's in the
Speaker 3: doctor's hands. There's nothing really I can do other than
Speaker 3: trust that they know what they are doing. So I
Speaker 3: didn't process things until the treatment had finished and I
Speaker 3: was essentially no evidence of disease in July. So from
Speaker 3: November to July I didn't process anything. It was like
Speaker 3: the calm down. After that that I started being like,
Speaker 3: hell is my life forever sort of thing?
Speaker 2: And what does that mean? So if you say that
Speaker 2: you've received a terminal cancer diagnosis, as in stage four,
Speaker 2: but then you are and get to a point of
Speaker 2: being disease free, how do those two things coincide? How
Speaker 2: can you be disease free if you've been given this
Speaker 2: like almost morbid diagnosis.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so basically, any stage four cancer diagnosis is considered
Speaker 3: terminal only because the chances of survival are so slim.
Speaker 3: But the course of action that we took with the
Speaker 3: treatment was so invasive and aggressive it was crazy. Like
Speaker 3: I was literally on my deathbed after each cycle of treatment,
Speaker 3: like it was nothing anyone should ever go through. But
Speaker 3: I knew why I was going through it, if that
Speaker 3: makes sense. So then they've removed all they could of
Speaker 3: the bow and like took it away, so that was
Speaker 3: technically no evidence of disease, but they knew that there
Speaker 3: was the possibility of microscopic cells floating around that doesn't
Speaker 3: shop on any scans until there are certain size and
Speaker 3: obviously in my case that happened. Like I know people
Speaker 3: that had the same diagnosis the exact same time as me,
Speaker 3: and they still have nothing showing up, so they are
Speaker 3: in remission. But I wouldn't be able to get the
Speaker 3: remission card until like five years.
Speaker 4: Down the track.
Speaker 1: Do they when they say you have stage four? Do
Speaker 1: they give you a time frame? You know, you watch
Speaker 1: the movies and you're like, you have three months to live,
Speaker 1: you have one year to live. Could they do that
Speaker 1: for you?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, so they wouldn't and they're not going to do
Speaker 3: that until they literally can't control it. So because the
Speaker 3: chemo works so well for me and my cancer responds
Speaker 3: so well, they were never going to give me a timeline. Obviously,
Speaker 3: they told me like the statistics of the five year
Speaker 3: like seven percent chance of making it five years and whatever,
Speaker 3: But they didn't say like, oh, you've got three months
Speaker 3: to live, go home and get comforted. They were like, obviously,
Speaker 3: we do everything we possibly can, Like you're young, you're fit,
Speaker 3: you can fight this, but it's going to be a
Speaker 3: long road.
Speaker 2: When I think of bow cancer, my very first thought
Speaker 2: is that it's an old people's problem. I would never
Speaker 2: in a million years think that someone's so young that
Speaker 2: it could even be a possibility. Do you feel like
Speaker 2: it's maybe an illness that's been underrepresented in young people,
Speaker 2: that it's something we should be more aware of, or
Speaker 2: do you think you are just such an anomaly in
Speaker 2: this instance.
Speaker 3: No, so I think it's just not talked about. I
Speaker 3: think it's an embarrassing cancer to have. It's not breast cancer.
Speaker 3: It's not like melanoma from being the sun too much
Speaker 3: sort of thing. Like it's not a sexy cancer. Like
Speaker 3: it's not something that I guess you would want to
Speaker 3: have a chat about, even like if you're a twenty
Speaker 3: year old girl, you're not going to tell someone to
Speaker 3: be got blood in you poo, Like it's just not
Speaker 3: something that's talked about.
Speaker 4: But it's so common.
Speaker 3: Like the amount of people that I've met since being
Speaker 3: diagnosed that have also been diagnosed or had polyps removed
Speaker 3: because of the symptoms that I've had is actually outrageous.
Speaker 3: Like I'm like, this is crazy. I'd never heard of
Speaker 3: any of this until I was diagnosed, but now there's
Speaker 3: so many people, Like even just with mind surgeon. Like
Speaker 3: they literally call it the Kelly cancer my surgeon because
Speaker 3: he's had so many people come since that have had
Speaker 3: the exact same thing.
Speaker 4: It's just crazy, which.
Speaker 1: Is actually so amazing in a sense that whether you
Speaker 1: know it or not, now you are making such a difference,
Speaker 1: like the number people that you have already brought awareness to.
Speaker 1: Like when I told a few people that I was
Speaker 1: getting you on because I thought it was really important,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh my god, I've read about Kelly.
Speaker 1: I've booked an appointment because of that, Like you really are,
Speaker 1: and like you just said, people aren't talking about it
Speaker 1: because it's the shit cancer.
Speaker 2: Literally, it's shit.
Speaker 1: It's the pooh, it's the things that the bodily functions
Speaker 1: that people are like ill and not. Like you said,
Speaker 1: it's not a sexy cancer. I don't think any cancer
Speaker 1: is sexy. But I understand what you mean. But you
Speaker 1: really are. You're doing incredible things. But let's talk about
Speaker 1: your treatment. Did you do it all? Because I know
Speaker 1: you can have surgery, radiation, chemo. What were your treatment options?
Speaker 3: Yep, So initially they gave me though they asked me
Speaker 3: if wanted to do my IBF, but then it was
Speaker 3: just basically after my scans, it was like, look, if
Speaker 3: you prolong these two weeks to do the IBF, it's
Speaker 3: going to be too far gone sort of thing, like
Speaker 3: you've got a kid, let's just be happy with her
Speaker 3: and then we'll move on.
Speaker 1: And that's because the chemo can basically kill your chances
Speaker 1: of fertility and conceiving him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. So like I've gone into early menopause,
Speaker 3: so I can come back from that.
Speaker 2: I don't know what was that puriri light before we
Speaker 2: kind of just scooted over that. Yeah, you know, being
Speaker 2: so young and being a new mum and thinking maybe
Speaker 2: you might want to have more kids in the future,
Speaker 2: but not having the opportunity to be able to freeze
Speaker 2: your eggs or go through the IVF treatment. How have
Speaker 2: you processed that? Have you been able to kind of
Speaker 2: make peace with it? Is it something that you're still
Speaker 2: struggling with?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So that was honestly, my biggest struggle was knowing
Speaker 3: that I may not give Sophia any siblings, which is
Speaker 3: so hard, Like we'd always plan to have a big family,
Speaker 3: Like it's just something that I've always wanted, which was
Speaker 3: so hard to Like the hardest pill to swallow out
Speaker 3: of all the pills that I've swallowed the last eighteen months.
Speaker 3: But we've kind of come to terms with it, knowing
Speaker 3: how many options we do have, Like adoptions no longer
Speaker 3: an option because I have a big red flag of
Speaker 3: terminal written next to my name, so like, no one's
Speaker 3: going to give me a child knowing of a terminal diagnosis.
Speaker 4: Regardless of whether I keep remission or not.
Speaker 3: And even then if that's ten years time, that's a
Speaker 3: very big age gap and I'll be having children very late.
Speaker 3: So we do have like the option of like egg
Speaker 3: donors or surroga. See, like I know that there's options
Speaker 3: out there, it's just trying to find when I am
Speaker 3: well enough to even have the newborn or if that's
Speaker 3: something that we even want to do now, knowing like
Speaker 3: how hard it's been having one child with his illness,
Speaker 3: Like if I do relapse in five years time, having
Speaker 3: two would just be even harder.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's the question then, isn't it. So do
Speaker 1: you think you would look at going down that track,
Speaker 1: like what's your criteria? Would you want to wait until
Speaker 1: you had one hundred percent intermission in the clear or
Speaker 1: do you think you would want to do it anyway,
Speaker 1: to continue to grow your family for your husband, Jeremy.
Speaker 3: So I'll never be one hundred percent clear whatever every
Speaker 3: three months, so my check up, it'll be like if
Speaker 3: I do eventually get no evidence of diseas this time around,
Speaker 3: like it will be a scare or await every single time,
Speaker 3: just like waiting for the all clear.
Speaker 4: But I don't think I'll ever be one hundredercent in permission.
Speaker 3: But it will probably I've got to be at least
Speaker 3: twelve one post my second diagnosis to even start working again,
Speaker 3: let alone to start thinking about having a family, like
Speaker 3: whether my uterus can carry again, whether I have to sorrcey.
Speaker 3: Like it's a long process, but we probably won't start
Speaker 3: talking about it to the end of the year.
Speaker 2: Have you felt like you've been able to be the
Speaker 2: type of mum that you wanted to be? You know,
Speaker 2: I think we all had these ideas of what motherhood's
Speaker 2: going to be like, and it's almost like so much
Speaker 2: of your time of motherhood's being robbed by being sick
Speaker 2: or having treatment. Has that impacted your I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't want to say your ability to enjoy being a mum,
Speaker 2: but I feel like feeling like you've been able to
Speaker 2: like connect and have those precious moments with Sophia or
Speaker 2: even just be at home and not in hospital.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I was one hundred percent robbed of my
Speaker 3: first year of motherhood, like completely robbed of it. My
Speaker 3: mum's actually moved in with us last year, and then
Speaker 3: she's just recently again moved back in to be full
Speaker 3: time care of Sophia and me.
Speaker 4: As it is, But no, it wasn't obviously what I
Speaker 4: thought it was going to be.
Speaker 3: I have this time around been able to connect a
Speaker 3: lot more and have given a lot more energy to her,
Speaker 3: which is really nice, especially now that she's so busy.
Speaker 4: But when she was a newborn, she probably didn't even
Speaker 4: know who her mum was.
Speaker 3: If I'm being honest, she would have had about five
Speaker 3: or six women in her life that were around.
Speaker 4: Just as much as I was.
Speaker 3: So she knows who mummy is now, but at the
Speaker 3: time it was just another figure in her life.
Speaker 2: It really does tell really, So I'm so sorry, Like
Speaker 2: I can't comprehend with going through that sort of diagnosis,
Speaker 2: but I think going through it at the time in
Speaker 2: your life where you were going through it, when it's
Speaker 2: such a pivotal I mean, it's such a pivotal time
Speaker 2: for your identity, for you being able to embrace motherhood,
Speaker 2: but also knowing that you had to focus on your
Speaker 2: health and focus on yourself. And I don't mean be selfish,
Speaker 2: but I mean you could only think of yourself in
Speaker 2: that period of time in order to be able to heal.
Speaker 2: And I can't even begin to imagine how the added
Speaker 2: layer of how difficult that would have been for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, quite literally, the mental side of it was the
Speaker 3: hardest part of the entire recovery periods, Like, twelve nights
Speaker 3: away was the most that I did in hospital, not
Speaker 3: saying Sofia because of COVID time she was under sixteen,
Speaker 3: so she wasn't vaccinated so couldn't actually come into the hospital. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so twelve nights away from her was the hardest time, Like,
Speaker 3: it hit me the hardest. And then that was the
Speaker 3: time that I got told that I wasn't in remission
Speaker 3: and wouldn't be in remission until five years had been up.
Speaker 3: So then I was also emotional from that. But yeah,
Speaker 3: it was it was hard. It was definitely hard, but
Speaker 3: we got through it so much, Like so well, because
Speaker 3: of the community we had around us, Like, we're very
Speaker 3: lucky with who we had around us.
Speaker 1: And so let's go over to your treatment options. What
Speaker 1: options did they give you and what did you decide
Speaker 1: to do and why?
Speaker 3: So I didn't really get any options as such. It
Speaker 3: was more so, here's your regime. This is all what's
Speaker 3: gonna work, Like, we need to fight this is as
Speaker 3: aggressively as we possibly can. So we went straight in
Speaker 3: with five weeks of every day having radiotherapy, So twenty
Speaker 3: five days of radiotherapy, got the weekends off over Christmas,
Speaker 3: which was intense, but then also taking chemotherapy tablets. So
Speaker 3: I took eight chemo tablets a day on those days
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 4: So that was my first I guess bout of treatment.
Speaker 4: Once that was up.
Speaker 3: Then I had six intense rounds of the IV chemotherapy,
Speaker 3: which was they literally put me on my deathbed every
Speaker 3: single time, like I was getting toxic shock to the
Speaker 3: treatment every single time I was being admitted.
Speaker 1: What were those symptoms for people listening now that don't know.
Speaker 3: No, I was literally on my deathbed, like I was
Speaker 3: literally hooked up in hospital with like the droops and stuff,
Speaker 3: was so chronically dehydrated, like I was getting toxic shocks,
Speaker 3: so I was allergic to one of the compound drugs
Speaker 3: in the chemotherapy. We didn't know that until afterwards. I
Speaker 3: thought that I was just being completely attacked by this chemo.
Speaker 3: But it was working so well. My markers were coming
Speaker 3: down so well that I just kept going back every time.
Speaker 3: But yeah, now that I know I was allergic to
Speaker 3: it them, I'm like, damn, that kind of wish I
Speaker 3: looked into that more.
Speaker 2: When you say you're allergic to it, do you mean
Speaker 2: one of the carriers of what carries the chemotherapy through
Speaker 2: your body, Like I think one of them is castor
Speaker 2: oil or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I had to stop on my fifth treatment. I
Speaker 3: was meant to do the sick I had to stop
Speaker 3: halfway through my as well. But I was allergic to
Speaker 3: the oxyplaton, which is literally just one of the compounds
Speaker 3: in the drip itself that was going in.
Speaker 4: So this time around they've taken that out and I'm
Speaker 4: like living like normal. It's so good.
Speaker 3: So then I had a bower reception, so they removed
Speaker 3: my rectum and some of my sigmoid column, so about
Speaker 3: twenty centimeters of my bower and then just reconnected it,
Speaker 3: and I had a colostomy for nine months, an't ialiosto
Speaker 3: me for three months, so I literally shout out of
Speaker 3: my stomach. But it's like my colon has been stitched
Speaker 3: to my stomach and I literally poo out of my stomach.
Speaker 4: So like most people think there's like even my dad.
Speaker 3: Thought there was like a hose into my bow that
Speaker 3: would make it come out, but no, I'm literally stitched
Speaker 3: my bow to my stomach and it's an opening on
Speaker 3: my stomach.
Speaker 2: How do you deal with the psychological impacts of that?
Speaker 3: I hated that for a bit in terms of the
Speaker 3: bag on my stomach. It was uncomfortable, especially for someone
Speaker 3: that like I genuinely like what I look like in
Speaker 3: the mirror when I wake up in the mornings, so
Speaker 3: having that there, like I didn't have sex with my
Speaker 3: husband for six months, probably because I was so disgusted
Speaker 3: in myself. He didn't give a shit, but I was
Speaker 3: so disgusted in myself. And then I probably took about
Speaker 3: six months for me to get used to it, and
Speaker 3: then it was kind of like a countdown until I
Speaker 3: was going to get rid of it. And then obviously
Speaker 3: once I got rid of it, I was like, had
Speaker 3: this big opening gash on my stomach. So now it's
Speaker 3: just like his big scar, which I hate, but at
Speaker 3: least it's not an iliostomy.
Speaker 4: But yeah, why was that?
Speaker 1: I mean, you just mentioned that your husband, Jeremy was like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't care us. What was this? Going back to
Speaker 1: the diagnosis, how did he take that? How did he
Speaker 1: sort of jump into action and handle the situation.
Speaker 3: I think he was scared, not so much that I
Speaker 3: was sick, but scared that he would have to be
Speaker 3: a mum and a dad. Like he had done a
Speaker 3: couple of days of just him and sofa and it
Speaker 3: was obviously so hard. He doesn't have nipples, he can't
Speaker 3: feed his child naturally, so like he was scared that
Speaker 3: he was going to have to do the mum and
Speaker 3: dad's side of things, which I could imagine would be
Speaker 3: freaking scary being a single parent without choosing to be
Speaker 3: a single parent. And also once I had started the treatment,
Speaker 3: watching me go through it and seeing me completely obliterated,
Speaker 3: like I was so sick, or just scare the shit
Speaker 3: out of him, like he's not He's used to seeing
Speaker 3: me as the fun, bubbly mom that has fun and
Speaker 3: like even just person with four hours a mom like
Speaker 3: I was a live while I was the socialize I
Speaker 3: was the extrovert, and he was the shy little guy
Speaker 3: in the corner that would.
Speaker 4: Only be brought out of his shell if I was
Speaker 4: with him sort of things.
Speaker 3: So watching me then be the little one in the
Speaker 3: shell was just hard for him.
Speaker 2: Kelly, you are I mean, even speaking to you now,
Speaker 2: like you're so vibrant, you are so positive, you seem
Speaker 2: so incredibly resilient, And I would say, if I didn't
Speaker 2: know any better, I'd say, but you look so well.
Speaker 2: And I can only imagine that must be an incredibly
Speaker 2: frustrating thing to deal with when you are and have
Speaker 2: been so sick, dealing with people be like, but are
Speaker 2: you sure you're that sick? You look so well.
Speaker 3: I literally had someone from up to me and David
Speaker 3: Jones after my most recent diagnosis and I was shopping
Speaker 3: for shoes for Sophia. I remember it so clearly because
Speaker 3: I was so shocked. I had some random lady walk
Speaker 3: up past me about two meters away from me like,
Speaker 3: you look awfully well for someone that's terminally ill.
Speaker 2: I was like, huh, they're like almost like a challenge,
Speaker 2: like are you putting it on? Like? Was that their implication?
Speaker 1: Do you think, like, are you trying to be an asshole?
Speaker 1: Or are you giving me a compliment saying I'm doing
Speaker 1: well looking well?
Speaker 4: I know? I was like, I was like, what just
Speaker 4: came out of your mouth? I like walked the other
Speaker 4: way and had to like process it myself.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is crazy that someone thinks that
Speaker 3: their opinion like that should be heard, let alone in person.
Speaker 3: Like I was like, what, Like, there's trolls and then
Speaker 3: there's that.
Speaker 1: Oh, and I have seen some of the trolls on
Speaker 1: your Instagram that you've spoken about, and it's I was
Speaker 1: speaking of Keish law about it. Nothing makes my blood
Speaker 1: bowl and wi I was like, can you fucking believe
Speaker 1: these people? But you just mentioned your second diagnosis, so
Speaker 1: let's talk about that. So you've gone through your first
Speaker 1: round of chemo for your bowel cancer. What had happened then?
Speaker 1: Did you get good results saying you were in remission?
Speaker 3: No, so no remission, but good results in terms of
Speaker 3: like nothing was showing up on scans, like if there
Speaker 3: was anything there was microscopic doing really really well, like
Speaker 3: come back in three months type thing will rescan you.
Speaker 3: So I was actually due for a scan in January,
Speaker 3: but then had symptoms in December, thinking I had COVID.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've had COVID, but I literally
Speaker 3: just couldn't breathe, and like walking upstairs, I was like
Speaker 3: so puffed. I was like, this is not good. So I,
Speaker 3: being IMMUNI coompromised, I get like this special little nutrient
Speaker 3: drip if I do get COVID, just to like bounce
Speaker 3: me back up.
Speaker 4: And so I went into the hospital and I was like, guys,
Speaker 4: give me the drip. I need the drip.
Speaker 3: I'm screwing, and they, luckily enough, the nurse at the
Speaker 3: time was like, oh, I follow your journey, like we'll
Speaker 3: take things really seriously, like any abnormalities to my health
Speaker 3: kind of they just want to take really seriously. And
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, no worries, We'll do a CT
Speaker 3: scan like easy. And then they thought that maybe I
Speaker 3: had a pneumonia because I had a massive like softball size,
Speaker 3: like bigger than a tenn this bull size mass in
Speaker 3: my chest cavity and that well, first of obviously they
Speaker 3: thought it was cancer because that's the first thing they're
Speaker 3: going to think of it for a cancer patient.
Speaker 4: They were like, look, it's not looking good.
Speaker 3: Like they showed me what it was and they were like,
Speaker 3: but the thing is, pneumonia does mimic cancer in a
Speaker 3: CT scan. So I was like, oh, it's just a pneumonia,
Speaker 3: Like it's fine, just pneumonia, which is crazy to think
Speaker 3: that I would just want that, but yeah, obviously in
Speaker 3: the grand scheme of things, that would be much better.
Speaker 3: And then they sent it off to like all of
Speaker 3: my specialists in Adelaide and they were like, no, not convinced.
Speaker 3: So we only scanned you two months ago, Like can't
Speaker 3: be Like that's huge, Like it can't be what we
Speaker 3: think it is. And there was never any nodes in
Speaker 3: my lungs or anything. So they were like, like, where
Speaker 3: it is. It just doesn't make sense. I was like sick,
Speaker 3: come back in like I stay at home for Christmas,
Speaker 3: just had some antibiotics, felt really good, so obviously thought
Speaker 3: that's what it was.
Speaker 4: Came back here and they did a.
Speaker 3: Scope into my lungs, so bron cost pier rather than
Speaker 3: the like endoscopy into my bow, so it just went
Speaker 3: into my lungs and.
Speaker 4: They found what they thought was a mucus plug.
Speaker 3: Turns out that it was a like a little tiny
Speaker 3: baby tumor in one of my airways.
Speaker 4: So when I woke up, they.
Speaker 3: Were like, you told me to be honest, because I
Speaker 3: was like, don't bullshit me when I wake up sort
Speaker 3: of thing, like I know you don't know who I am,
Speaker 3: because like I've never met this man before. He was
Speaker 3: just doing it for as before my surgeon that does
Speaker 3: my other surgeries. And I was like, I, no, you
Speaker 3: don't know who I am, but don't bullshit me when
Speaker 3: I wake up. Tell me exactly what's going on. And
Speaker 3: he's like, yeah, no, or as, I'll tell you as
Speaker 3: much as I can when I wake up. He's like, look,
Speaker 3: I looked under a scrape myself because I knew that
Speaker 3: you'd want to know what's going on. And he's like,
Speaker 3: it's suspicious activity. Probably can so like you're a cancer
Speaker 3: patient sort of thing, and I.
Speaker 4: Was like, auck, not good.
Speaker 3: Not exactly what I obviously wanted to hear. It's broke
Speaker 3: down in tears. I was there by myself, obviously, and
Speaker 3: they were like, look, we'll send you to the X,
Speaker 3: Y and Z this week and make sure that we've
Speaker 3: got it right, because we don't want to get it wrong.
Speaker 4: He said I would recept it, and he wanted to
Speaker 4: recept it there and then, but just in case it
Speaker 4: had shown up anywhere else. If he recepted, that would
Speaker 4: put me back six weeks for treatment. So he's like, nah,
Speaker 4: we need to do the scans, do it properly.
Speaker 3: And then when I went for scans, it was just
Speaker 3: literally everywhere, so they were like, ah, so keemo was
Speaker 3: your only option otherwise literally sending me home to just
Speaker 3: get comfortable.
Speaker 1: Basically, what the diagnosis Stage four lung cancer.
Speaker 3: No, so it's always bout cancer because that's where it's
Speaker 3: come from. So it's just bow cancer that's spread. So
Speaker 3: it's just secondary cancer that has spread two my lungths.
Speaker 3: So it's still stage four bow cancer because that's where
Speaker 3: the initial.
Speaker 1: But metastasizers to the line.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's right. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it was either go home and get comfortable
Speaker 3: or we're going to go through chemo again. So obviously
Speaker 3: I'm going through chemo again.
Speaker 2: So where are you in terms of your chemo now?
Speaker 2: So which treatment are you up to for this round
Speaker 2: of processing and how are things looking?
Speaker 3: So I am actually half way now of my eighteen
Speaker 3: week course of chemo, and so I'm half way now,
Speaker 3: So I go back in tomorrow morning for my fourth
Speaker 3: round and then I've got five and six.
Speaker 4: But my markers had were obviously.
Speaker 3: Higher when I've got rediagnosed, and they're back into.
Speaker 4: The normal range.
Speaker 1: So that's great.
Speaker 3: Chemo is working really well. Yeah, it's working really well.
Speaker 3: It's not where we need them to be, but they
Speaker 3: are normal.
Speaker 4: So like if I was to go for a three.
Speaker 3: Month check up and that's where my markers were, they
Speaker 3: wouldn't even look further into it. But because obviously they
Speaker 3: know what's going on side, they're gonna finish off my
Speaker 3: three more rounds and I've also got an alternative treatment
Speaker 3: next week in the Gold Coast to try and progress
Speaker 3: that faster.
Speaker 2: Throughout this whole process. And when you get the news
Speaker 2: that discouncer has metastasized to your lungs, like where is
Speaker 2: your mental health at? Like? How do you stay positive
Speaker 2: throughout all this?
Speaker 3: M Yeah, so initially it was kind of like, to
Speaker 3: be honest, it was a bit like whole with me.
Speaker 3: I spent probably two or three weeks after I found
Speaker 3: out just hating everyone and anyone, like anyone would people be.
Speaker 4: Like, it's right, you got through it once, we can
Speaker 4: do it again.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you don't understand how hard it was the
Speaker 3: first time. Like I said, after my first round of treatment,
Speaker 3: I'm never doing again.
Speaker 4: If it comes back, I'm never doing it again. Like
Speaker 4: I'm done.
Speaker 3: But then I changed oncologists and he was rather than
Speaker 3: he's still straightforward, but he's rather than being like we
Speaker 3: have to do this medical medical medical medical medical sort
Speaker 3: of approach, he's like, your quality of life is so importan,
Speaker 3: like this is going to be a really long term
Speaker 3: thing now if we want to make it last, Like
Speaker 3: if we want to prolong your life, we can't just
Speaker 3: think about the next three months. We need to think
Speaker 3: about the next five years type thing. So he changed
Speaker 3: my dosages, changed it up, took out some things, change
Speaker 3: my chemotherapy. He's just taken a different approach, and it
Speaker 3: made me more confident in going into chemo again because obviously,
Speaker 3: like scared shitless to go sit in that chair again.
Speaker 3: Like I was terrified walking into that room. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, no, I can't do it, like I
Speaker 3: want to run away. But yeah, his approach has really
Speaker 3: helped me, really.
Speaker 1: Helped isn't that amazing that just the difference in the
Speaker 1: way a doctor will speak to you can change you
Speaker 1: literally wanting to take the treatment that will save your life.
Speaker 1: But I imagine there is a difference with if you thinking
Speaker 1: you have to go to Helen back to live for
Speaker 1: three months, I imagine you'd be like, I'm not doing it,
Speaker 1: Like let's just do this now, Like that was so bad.
Speaker 1: But when someone gives you the optimism and the positivity
Speaker 1: to say, it is going to be a long run,
Speaker 1: but we can do this.
Speaker 2: It's not just you.
Speaker 1: You're doing it for now. You've got your daughter's sof
Speaker 1: and you've got your husband Jeremy, and I guess there's
Speaker 1: a different outlook on life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's right.
Speaker 3: So I obviously was expecting to be unbelievably ill again,
Speaker 3: but after even five minutes of sitting in the chair,
Speaker 3: I was like, I feel so much better already knowing
Speaker 3: that it was a different regime. So if I didn't
Speaker 3: have Sophia, I don't know if I would have gone again.
Speaker 3: But because I obviously need to prioritize her and her
Speaker 3: having a mom to grow up with, because I couldn't
Speaker 3: imagine growing up without my mom, So yeah, I've just
Speaker 3: prioritized her and everything and it's working, Kelly.
Speaker 2: When you're dealing with so much in your life, an
Speaker 2: overwhelming amount of you know, you've had one cancer diagnosis
Speaker 2: and then another one. How are you able to find
Speaker 2: the positivity and find things to be grateful for when
Speaker 2: there is so many things that you're dealing with in
Speaker 2: one time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So gratitude is something that I try so hard
Speaker 3: to find my three things each day. Like I used
Speaker 3: to do a journal long, long, like well before I
Speaker 3: had any diagnosis, and I always used to find three
Speaker 3: things that I was grateful for, but they were all
Speaker 3: quite I guess, trivial surface level stuff like, for example,
Speaker 3: good health, roof overhead, family, whatnot.
Speaker 4: But yeah, when you are in hospital and you.
Speaker 3: Don't have good health, you don't have your own roof
Speaker 3: over your head, and you don't have your family around
Speaker 3: for a long period time, especially during those COVID times,
Speaker 3: I found it a lot harder to find those three
Speaker 3: things that I was grateful for. And like, listening to
Speaker 3: a podcast the other day of another cancer survivor, He's
Speaker 3: gone through two different, completely separate types of cancer, and
Speaker 3: it just reminded me how hard it was to find
Speaker 3: those three things where like you have to dive a
Speaker 3: little bit deeper, and obviously there is still things to
Speaker 3: be grateful for, like I'm not dead, I'm alive, treatments,
Speaker 3: working and stuff like that, but like I found myself
Speaker 3: finding like I guess still quite humorous and like gentle
Speaker 3: trivial things like oh, the nurse let me sleep overnight
Speaker 3: because I asked her not to do my obs at
Speaker 3: midnight so that I got the extra couple of hours sleep,
Speaker 3: and like I was grateful for her, even though she
Speaker 3: was probably not mean to do that, but like I
Speaker 3: would beg for it, like I need the sleep tonight,
Speaker 3: so that was something I would be grateful for when
Speaker 3: or one day I would be, Oh, I'm grateful that
Speaker 3: my nurse came in and refreshed my waters and my
Speaker 3: flowers and like did my curtains, even though I felt
Speaker 3: like I didn't want to get up and about like
Speaker 3: she forced me, but in a way that I knew
Speaker 3: that I needed, and things like that, or like even
Speaker 3: just when I'm home, I still.
Speaker 4: Do have my daughter, like I'm grateful for her. I'm
Speaker 4: grateful for my partner.
Speaker 3: I am grateful for my family, but like, yeah, those
Speaker 3: times that you don't have them around, it's so much
Speaker 3: harder to see them as something that you're grateful for
Speaker 3: because that they're just not there in your everyday life.
Speaker 3: So I guess still being able to find something positive
Speaker 3: out of such a negative experience really does help your
Speaker 3: mental health go a long way, like a really long way,
Speaker 3: which is I think so important. I think something that
Speaker 3: everyone should do is even if it's not written down in.
Speaker 4: A journal, it's just when they wake up in the morning.
Speaker 3: Like, look, I'm grateful that I get to get up
Speaker 3: and go to the gym this morning. Like, yeah, it's
Speaker 3: a slog, it's five o'clock in the morning, but I
Speaker 3: get to do that.
Speaker 4: Like some people don't get to do that. And that's what.
Speaker 3: People don't realize, Like your health is literally your wealth.
Speaker 3: Like if you are able to do something, you must
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: It's funny you say that you've just reminded me of something.
Speaker 1: It's the idea of changing your mindset. When you say, oh,
Speaker 1: I have to go to work today, you say, I
Speaker 1: get to go to work today, And it's those little
Speaker 1: changes in your day to say, well, I still am here,
Speaker 1: I am still healthy. Enough to get up and have
Speaker 1: the opportunity to go to work instead of I have
Speaker 1: to do this, I have to go to the gym. No,
Speaker 1: you don't have to, but you've got a healthy body
Speaker 1: that gets to So I guess it's that's really reinforcing
Speaker 1: that sort of messaging.
Speaker 4: So reframing it. Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: The fact that you're able to do that is so huge,
Speaker 3: Like there's so many people out there that aren't able
Speaker 3: to when it's not until you can't that you realize
Speaker 3: how badly you wish you could.
Speaker 2: When you have a terminal cancer diagnosis. How has that
Speaker 2: sort of reframed the way you look at life in
Speaker 2: terms of living in the now verse looking to the future.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, obviously, because I'm going through treatment at the moment,
Speaker 3: Like everything's kind of focused into getting myself through this
Speaker 3: slog of treatment, Like I'm not looking for what's going
Speaker 3: to be happening next year, and it is very much
Speaker 3: in twelve week blocks at the moment, which is fine
Speaker 3: because that's all I can really get my head around anyway.
Speaker 3: But just like there's small things in life, like even
Speaker 3: my coffee was too hot, and normally i'd be want
Speaker 3: to complain about that, but like, honestly, if that's the
Speaker 3: worst thing that's happened to me today, then is my
Speaker 3: life that bad. I'm going through a very, very very
Speaker 3: intense treatment for the worst disease you could ever possibly get,
Speaker 3: But I would still complain about my hot coffee and
Speaker 3: then be like, Kelly, wake up to yourself.
Speaker 4: There's so many worse things in the world. Right now,
Speaker 4: it's a hot coffee.
Speaker 1: I remember, we had a girl that fell from the
Speaker 1: sky em Carey on the pot of car.
Speaker 2: She's amazing.
Speaker 1: But something that stuck with me is just she said
Speaker 1: when she was plumbing into a death and she thought
Speaker 1: this is it. Within seconds, everything flashed before her eyes,
Speaker 1: the things that she realized she hadn't done yet, or
Speaker 1: the things that she had been complaining about she didn't
Speaker 1: know why, And then the repercussions of that were every day. Now,
Speaker 1: every day she gets up for the sunrise, she feels
Speaker 1: like she looks at life in a different way. And
Speaker 1: I can only imagine that's something that you feel too,
Speaker 1: when you know that it could be taken away from you.
Speaker 3: And I guess it is such a similar experience, but
Speaker 3: with just such different circumstances.
Speaker 4: Like she was falling to her death.
Speaker 3: I've listened to her podcast as well, when Wade her
Speaker 3: book and stuff, she's literally falling for a death so
Speaker 3: she could see the end, whereas I guess, yeah, I
Speaker 3: do have a terminal illness, and like there is technically
Speaker 3: an end point, but I haven't been given that endpoint,
Speaker 3: and I can't see it, Like it's not in two
Speaker 3: weeks time, it's not in two years time, like I
Speaker 3: don't know when it is. I know what's coming, but
Speaker 3: I don't know when it is, and I feel like
Speaker 3: that's probably a little bit scarier. But I actually use
Speaker 3: that if you can, you must from what she says,
Speaker 3: and I think it's so important.
Speaker 1: Do you think you would rather know the end point? Well,
Speaker 1: you know when you say it's so up in the air,
Speaker 1: like I don't know when it is, do you think
Speaker 1: you would rather know? Or because you just mentioned it's
Speaker 1: quite scary not knowing, So do you think what would
Speaker 1: be easier? Do you think for you?
Speaker 3: So the unknown probably plays on my mind a lot
Speaker 3: more than anything else, which is just a given, like
Speaker 3: that is probably the case with anyone. But I think
Speaker 3: because I know how well my cancer responds to treatment,
Speaker 3: if they gave me an endpoint, it would probably be wrong.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, I'm glad I don't have an end point.
Speaker 3: Obviously I want to live a really, really long life,
Speaker 3: but if it was to be with in two years,
Speaker 3: i'd want to know that too.
Speaker 4: So I guess it's just getting through each block and
Speaker 4: then reassessing.
Speaker 3: So like in four or five weeks time, I'll recess
Speaker 3: and we'll see how far I've come, and if my
Speaker 3: cancers responded to this chemo, I could be no evidence
Speaker 3: of disease and live for eighty years. Like it's just
Speaker 3: a term of like keeping up the maintenance and stuff.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know what you're saying, like rather knowing
Speaker 3: than not, But I don't. I don't want to be
Speaker 3: given a three month diagnosis or sorry, an end date
Speaker 3: and then not happen, if.
Speaker 1: That makes sense, because that'd almost be worse.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because then i'd be like i'd get to that point,
Speaker 4: I'd be like huh.
Speaker 2: And I guess also having that hope to work towards.
Speaker 2: I mean, like hope is something that I think is
Speaker 2: such a powerful emotion, like it keeps us being positive,
Speaker 2: it keeps us moving forward, And I guess in terms
Speaker 2: of your situation, Like to take that away from someone
Speaker 2: feels incredibly cruel.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, well, I'd Trustpotop with so much, and like
Speaker 3: they are so confident that whatever's going on with me,
Speaker 3: like we'll get through it.
Speaker 4: Like even my markers.
Speaker 3: I've just got my marcers back again from the my
Speaker 3: midway mark and they're still stable and which is incredible.
Speaker 4: Oh congrat thank you, which doesn't happen with many people.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so they're confident that in this five weeks
Speaker 3: time I whant to do get my reassessment, I'd be
Speaker 3: able to just move on to the next treatment plan,
Speaker 3: which is the reception. And then once you're a sect,
Speaker 3: there's nothing left until obviously the three monthly check up.
Speaker 3: So then I am still gets going three monthly, but
Speaker 3: I could have ten more three monthlies.
Speaker 4: I could have fifty more three monthlies.
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like it is very unknown, but I'd
Speaker 3: rather be unknown than be given a date that's not real.
Speaker 2: Was there bow cancer that run in your family? Were
Speaker 2: there anything in your life that was a predetermining factor
Speaker 2: for why you were high risk for this? Or is
Speaker 2: it just something that was incredibly unfortunate?
Speaker 4: So maya both my hearts.
Speaker 3: We are actually adopted, so we don't have a family history,
Speaker 3: funnily enough, but my my tumor has been pulled apart
Speaker 3: by every single type of medical scientist and there's no
Speaker 3: genetic factors.
Speaker 4: So literally just like unlucky.
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's no no genetic factors at all, so we're.
Speaker 1: Not sure why. It's one of those things I do
Speaker 1: the CT scans, Kelly, I'm diagnosedic radiographer. About what we
Speaker 1: always used to say is cancer doesn't discriminate. It doesn't
Speaker 1: care who you are, doesn't care how old you are,
Speaker 1: it doesn't care how much money you have, how privileged
Speaker 1: you are. I doesn't care about anything in life. It
Speaker 1: just comes at any time. But talking about privilege, this is,
Speaker 1: I mean, I saw this on your Instagram the other day.
Speaker 1: This is we're going to be talking about trolls now
Speaker 1: and I feel sick saying this, but like, let's fucking
Speaker 1: tear them apart. You were talking the other day on
Speaker 1: your social media about what somebody wrote to you, and
Speaker 1: you've been getting some really interesting feedback, like the lady
Speaker 1: in the shopping center yep, and somebody literally wrote to
Speaker 1: you and said that you're privileged.
Speaker 4: Sick or a NEPO sick if you will.
Speaker 1: Yeah, quote NEFO sick if you will. I love that
Speaker 1: you're laughing because you're a better person than me, because
Speaker 1: I would want to reach through the screen.
Speaker 4: So the thing that got to me normally with it.
Speaker 3: If anyone ever wrote anything to meybe DM because I
Speaker 3: don't want to have that out there for other people
Speaker 3: to see. And I just literally plete block, don't care,
Speaker 3: never read into it. But I've got a really thick skin,
Speaker 3: like I don't care much, my very confident person. But
Speaker 3: they wrote it on a photo of my daughter at
Speaker 3: my wedding.
Speaker 4: I was like, screw you.
Speaker 3: You want people to see this, I'll make sure they do.
Speaker 3: So I talked on it on my stories because the
Speaker 3: fact that anyone could think that I am in a
Speaker 3: privileged situation right now just absolutely grind into my gears.
Speaker 4: I'm literally fighting for my life and.
Speaker 3: Putting myself on social media to save other people's lives.
Speaker 3: Like I don't have a platform because I was on
Speaker 3: Love Island or Big Brother or any other TV series
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 4: Like that's not why I have a platform.
Speaker 3: I have a platform because I'm advocating for such an
Speaker 3: important thing. Like it's just beyond me that someone thought
Speaker 3: they needed to have that opinion heard, Like what.
Speaker 2: Does privilege sick even mean?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 2: What were they even trying to imply by this so
Speaker 2: they could.
Speaker 4: Be a wag for one, which was fun. I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 4: so now I'm just a.
Speaker 3: Person because my partner is a footballer, which it frustrates
Speaker 3: me even more because I literally have no following because
Speaker 3: of him, Like no one's following me because he's a footballer.
Speaker 3: People have following me because of the journey that I'm on,
Speaker 3: Like he's been a footballer for ten years and I've
Speaker 3: only just since being sick, got the platform that I do.
Speaker 3: Like it's not because of him, which kills me. But
Speaker 3: they think that because he's a footballer and earns a
Speaker 3: large wage, that I am then therefore privileged, even though
Speaker 3: for the last two years I haven't been out of work,
Speaker 3: my mom hasn't been out of work, and we go
Speaker 3: to the government trying to get like my disability, like
Speaker 3: even just the healthcare card NAP your partner earns too much,
Speaker 3: Like it just kills me, Like they literally the government
Speaker 3: said to my mom, your son in law should be
Speaker 3: paying your wage if you are working for them.
Speaker 2: So because your mom has given up her life in
Speaker 2: order to take care of you, the expectation is that
Speaker 2: you would pay her for her caring role, as oppriosed
Speaker 2: to it being a caring role that the government would
Speaker 2: help support, which.
Speaker 3: Anyone else would get, so like they would get the
Speaker 3: funding for that. But because my partner's wage, I don't.
Speaker 3: But then the people from the outside, all they see
Speaker 3: is that my partner's a footballer and we should be
Speaker 3: able to afford to get through all.
Speaker 4: This, whereas like, realistically, we're probably getting a lot less
Speaker 4: than if he.
Speaker 3: Was working and earning your average wage and I was
Speaker 3: getting paid by the government for what I'm going through.
Speaker 4: It's just crazy.
Speaker 1: What also means that he has to It's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure on just your partner too to then be
Speaker 1: like I can't even if I wanted to now, I
Speaker 1: can't go on home and just be with my family.
Speaker 1: I can't be with my wife and my daughter because
Speaker 1: I have to literally be the only person that can
Speaker 1: support and unto my family totally. And it would be
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on him as well.
Speaker 4: It is a lot of pressure on like any footballer,
Speaker 4: like they've got so much going on. I know they
Speaker 4: do live a very good life and they have a
Speaker 4: very good job and they're paid.
Speaker 3: Accordingly, but there's so many stresses on that poor man's life,
Speaker 3: and I'm just another stress added.
Speaker 1: To it, really, which I imagine he does not care
Speaker 1: about absolutely, but.
Speaker 3: Like, realistically, I'm just another financial stress because I am
Speaker 3: literally just solely reliant on him, and I no one
Speaker 3: ever wants to be reliant on someone, especially not someone
Speaker 3: that would I feel like the people that would do
Speaker 3: it for you are the people you don't want to
Speaker 3: have to do it for you totally.
Speaker 2: How do you feel, I mean apart from financially, but
Speaker 2: how else do you feel that this cancer diagnosis has
Speaker 2: affected your relationship?
Speaker 3: It has been hard, Like we don't talk about it
Speaker 3: at home at all, So anytime I'm feeling off, I
Speaker 3: just lock off and do my own thing, which we've
Speaker 3: kind of come around to now, Like originally Jeremy was like,
Speaker 3: why don't you want to talk to me? Like I'm
Speaker 3: supposed to be the first you talk to it, And
Speaker 3: I'm like, but then it's real, Like it's real if
Speaker 3: we talk about it, it's not real. If I talk
Speaker 3: about it with the doctors, or the whatever. Like as
Speaker 3: soon as it comes home with us, that's when it
Speaker 3: feels so much more real. So it's affected us kind
Speaker 3: of on a communication level there. We're slowly getting through
Speaker 3: it now, but that and also just like obviously I'm sick,
Speaker 3: I can't I can't do a lot, so like there's
Speaker 3: absolutely no intimacy in our relationship, which for any man
Speaker 3: is and woman, if I'm being honest, is a big
Speaker 3: hit to the relationship. It's kind of like we went
Speaker 3: through a period of just being housemates raising a kid,
Speaker 3: co parenting sort of thing.
Speaker 4: That's that's just how it was.
Speaker 3: Like if I'm on chemo, I can't even kiss him
Speaker 3: because then I'm transferring the chemo to him, and that's
Speaker 3: don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: It's almost like you in a way of protecting him,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to put you through it. I
Speaker 1: don't want to put on you. I don't unload it.
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be in our house.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And like I saw a psychologist quite a bit
Speaker 4: last year.
Speaker 3: Not at the moment, but every time I went there,
Speaker 3: they were like, you're not coming here to talk about me,
Speaker 3: Tell me to talk about Jeremy and that's not what
Speaker 3: we're here for. And I'm like, but that's all I
Speaker 3: care about, Like, all I care about is making sure
Speaker 3: they're okay.
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine. I'm really sorry that you're going
Speaker 1: through this. I was, Yeah, I was talking to my
Speaker 1: sister about it, because she went and she was having
Speaker 1: some issues as well, and she's very public on her Instagram,
Speaker 1: and she went and had her bouse, like she had
Speaker 1: the colonoscoy and everything, and luckily everything came back fine.
Speaker 1: But we were just talking about it, the fact of
Speaker 1: how prevalent it is, and I showed her your profile
Speaker 1: and I was just beside myself at what you're going through.
Speaker 1: I just it's so unfair that that anyone has to
Speaker 1: go through this, let alone someone at your age and
Speaker 1: your situation, the fact that you just had a daughter.
Speaker 1: But what I'm so bewildered by and like blown away by,
Speaker 1: is you are so positive on social media and you
Speaker 1: are a breath of fresh air and you're really advocating
Speaker 1: and even a couple of days ago, I said, how
Speaker 1: are you feeling? Do you want to do this yet
Speaker 1: or you know, you tell me, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling great. You're like you came straight and be
Speaker 1: like and I was like, how can this film be
Speaker 1: feeling great?
Speaker 2: But you just were were sitting here about to be
Speaker 2: in tears and you're like, it's not like, stop stop crying.
Speaker 4: Don't you set me off?
Speaker 1: You really do put things into perspective, I think, and
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people were listening to this
Speaker 1: and we'll feel the same way. Why am I complaining
Speaker 1: about something so frivolous, like so stupid, so minor.
Speaker 3: And everyone does tell me that I'm like doing obviously
Speaker 3: all the things for the right reasons, which I'm so
Speaker 3: glad that people can see that's happening. But like, I
Speaker 3: genuinely feel like I have a purpose in life to
Speaker 3: make sure no one else goes through what I've gone through.
Speaker 4: Like, like I said at the start, like a stage
Speaker 4: one diagnosis.
Speaker 3: Or even a poop pollop can be removed in a
Speaker 3: colonost could be gone, no further following up, all done,
Speaker 3: stage one diagnosis nine and undercent chance of nothing coming back,
Speaker 3: living forever like no chemo, etc. Like the early detection
Speaker 3: is so important and I just don't want anyone else
Speaker 3: to have to go through what we've gone through.
Speaker 2: How important is it to you for people to kind
Speaker 2: of understand the importance of advocating for your own health,
Speaker 2: for taking a responsibility for your own health, that if
Speaker 2: you feel like something is not right, if you've been
Speaker 2: dealing with symptoms or something, not putting that off, not waiting,
Speaker 2: not thinking, oh, it'll be fine, I'll get a check
Speaker 2: up done later in the future. How much is that
Speaker 2: part of your messaging now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's probably the most pivotal part of everything. Really.
Speaker 3: I was understand how scary it would be because I've
Speaker 3: obviously been there, but scary now that they've seen someone
Speaker 3: of a similar age or younger that has gone through it,
Speaker 3: knowing that what can come from the check up or
Speaker 3: come from the colonoscopy, Like I understand that it would
Speaker 3: be absolutely petrifying.
Speaker 4: Like I get it. But the most important part is
Speaker 4: the early.
Speaker 3: Detection, Like if you're feeling some way and feeling like
Speaker 3: this needs to happen, then there's a reason for that.
Speaker 3: If there's even if you don't have the blood in stall,
Speaker 3: obviously that's the most important symptom, and if you do
Speaker 3: have that, then go get checked up.
Speaker 4: Is stupid. But even if there's other symptoms and there's
Speaker 4: a reason why you think you need to see a doctor.
Speaker 3: There's probably something going on, and you can literally save
Speaker 3: your own life just going to see a doctor.
Speaker 4: Like it's as simple as that. That's literally their job.
Speaker 4: And how important do you think it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know that in the early days you
Speaker 1: were given the wrong diagnosis when you were told you know,
Speaker 1: it's ibs, so it's crones all these things. Was there
Speaker 1: a part of you that knew it wasn't and that
Speaker 1: wishes maybe you pushed harder or went to a different
Speaker 1: doctor for another opinion.
Speaker 3: No, I was so naive, Like I was hard of
Speaker 3: the majority of the twenty year old girls that would
Speaker 3: be like, oh yeah, I'm intolerant to lactose and changed
Speaker 3: to oat.
Speaker 4: Milk now, Like it's just things like that. I was
Speaker 4: so naive.
Speaker 3: I had no idea that you can even get power
Speaker 3: cancer the young age. I didn't even know it was
Speaker 3: a thing. Like when they told me this is.
Speaker 4: What bowercancer looked like, I was like, you're kidding, No,
Speaker 4: it's not like I'm twenty five. I do not have
Speaker 4: bower cancer. It just wasn't a thing.
Speaker 2: Kelly. In terms of where you're at now, what is
Speaker 2: next for you? And what do you think lies ahead?
Speaker 3: Yep, So at the moment, it's obviously getting through this
Speaker 3: treatment period, so I've got the three more rounds of
Speaker 3: it with the extra orgentitive treatment between as well, and
Speaker 3: then it's rescanning and reassessing. So originally it was going
Speaker 3: to be rescanning and seeing if the chemo had worked
Speaker 3: and then seeing if we need to do another six
Speaker 3: rounds and then adding in another antibody. But because it's
Speaker 3: working so well, we're hoping that it can just be
Speaker 3: rescan like resect, so take off that third lobe in
Speaker 3: my lung and just get rid of it and then
Speaker 3: move on with my life hopefully three monthly checkups or
Speaker 3: long term management, like we just don't know until we
Speaker 3: get that scan.
Speaker 4: Like it's kind of like twelve week blocks at the moment.
Speaker 1: And what's the alternative treatment that you train if you
Speaker 1: don't mind me on skim So.
Speaker 3: It's hyperbaric therapy, So it's oxygen therapy just starves the
Speaker 3: cancer of any sugars in.
Speaker 4: The blood and it can't move forward, which means the
Speaker 4: chemo can work better.
Speaker 1: And is this something that has any proof that it's
Speaker 1: ever working or are you sort of at a point
Speaker 1: where you like throw something at me and I'll do it.
Speaker 1: I'll try it.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm I've put my tumor markers forward to every
Speaker 3: single trial in Adelaide and then this one here came
Speaker 3: from another girl actually on social media. But she went
Speaker 3: to Mexico and did treatment over there, and I know
Speaker 3: that there is a really good alternative cancer practice over
Speaker 3: there that's got really really good outcomes. But it's also
Speaker 3: like one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for a five
Speaker 3: weeks day, and like nobody's got that type of money,
Speaker 3: nobody's privileged enough to have that around. Yeah, like that's
Speaker 3: going to be my entire life insurance basically spent on that,
Speaker 3: which is just silly. So I've just taken bits and
Speaker 3: pieces from what they're done and found it. In Australia,
Speaker 3: it's still expensive. It's still like five thousand dollars for
Speaker 3: the week, which is in hindsight not that bad, but
Speaker 3: like it's still expensive.
Speaker 4: I'm just trying everything.
Speaker 1: The thing is, it's easy to say something's not that bad, right,
Speaker 1: like in the grand scheme of things, it's five thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: but people still need to find five thousand dollars this
Speaker 1: week for something, and then next week's treatment is another
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars. It's like, yeah, exactly, it's very easy
Speaker 1: to put in this little box and say it's not
Speaker 1: that much to save my life.
Speaker 2: You still need to have it.
Speaker 4: And I'm still paying for something that I didn't ask
Speaker 4: to have.
Speaker 3: Like it's not like I'm going out and buying a
Speaker 3: five thousand dollar holiday, Like I'm going out and buying
Speaker 3: five thousand dollars of oxygen therapy.
Speaker 4: Who wants that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, when a culture on the Goop website, that's probably it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kelly, I just want to say thank you so
Speaker 2: much for giving us your time and for being so generous.
Speaker 2: And we can't imagine what it is that you're going
Speaker 2: through at the moment, but we are so grateful for
Speaker 2: the message and for the fact that even in a
Speaker 2: period of your life that's been so challenging, that it's
Speaker 2: so important for you to advocate for being responsible for
Speaker 2: your health, for going and getting scanned, or if there's
Speaker 2: something that's been niggling and it's been a worry for you,
Speaker 2: going and getting checked. Because I do think that especially
Speaker 2: for people who are so young, it's so easy for
Speaker 2: us to fob it off as being something else, and
Speaker 2: you are like a true testament that we have to
Speaker 2: be responsible for our health. We have to fight for that.
Speaker 2: And just thank you so much for being a part
Speaker 2: of the pod and sharing your story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're doing a very selfless thing. If there's one
Speaker 1: last thing you want to tell anyone listening, anyone right
Speaker 1: now that thinks that there's something a bit unusual or
Speaker 1: something that's been bothered them, what would you say?
Speaker 3: Honestly, just trust you that that's my go to slogan
Speaker 3: at the moment. It's just trusting your gut. If you
Speaker 3: think something's wrong, it likely is, and if it's not,
Speaker 3: then lucky you.
Speaker 2: All Right, guys, you know that we never finish an
Speaker 2: episode without our suck and our suite, our highlight and
Speaker 2: our low light of each every week. Except this week,
Speaker 2: we are doing things a little bit differently, and that
Speaker 2: is that we don't have a suck this week. After
Speaker 2: listening to Kelly share her story and talk about gratitude,
Speaker 2: what we wanted to focus on this week are the
Speaker 2: things that we are very grateful for. Our highs and
Speaker 2: only the highs of the week you can get it off,
Speaker 2: My sweet is.
Speaker 1: I spent the weekend with Mitch Jury. We went off
Speaker 1: to the Gold Coast and we just I've never I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever laughed so much in my nigh life.
Speaker 1: I think it was forty eight hours of non stop laughter,
Speaker 1: to the point that, like in the win, one laughing
Speaker 1: fit and he let out the biggest far because he couldn't.
Speaker 1: He was laughing so hard he was pushing farts out.
Speaker 1: It was so funny. And you know when you're accidentally
Speaker 1: fat and you're mortified, but you're fuck louder.
Speaker 2: Sweet, every time he laughed, he continued to fart. I
Speaker 2: love that, you guys, at that point in the relationship.
Speaker 1: Now, it was so funny. Starting friends, I had a
Speaker 1: very laughing field weekend.
Speaker 2: You also were working on a very special project on
Speaker 2: the weekend, which we will talk about because I know
Speaker 2: how much work and energy has been going into this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's our project.
Speaker 2: But well it's too much, we'll talk it all right,
Speaker 2: Sweet for the week was obviously the weekend, obviously my birthday,
Speaker 2: but we did one thing which was like the true standout.
Speaker 2: We did this. It's called an eco to were but
Speaker 2: basically we went and took the kids mud crabbing, and
Speaker 2: we took them fishing, and then we had this amazing,
Speaker 2: beautiful seafood lunch.
Speaker 1: All these experiences that weren't on the iPad.
Speaker 2: We did lots of things where the children did not
Speaker 2: have the iPad, and it was it was amazing. It
Speaker 2: was really wholesome family time. That was great.
Speaker 1: That is so cute. I have so much underboob sweat
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: Is so hot here cute.
Speaker 1: I so much sweat on in the boob.
Speaker 2: And you know the drill.
Speaker 1: Guys, tell your mum, tell you dad, Telly dog, tell
Speaker 1: your friends and share a love because we love them