Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on de rug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome
Speaker 2: back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany,
Speaker 2: and Brittney's gun and Fear's alone.
Speaker 1: It's not in right now. I forgot to put it in.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I forgot.
Speaker 2: I've always said you had it on and then you
Speaker 2: were like.
Speaker 1: I was like, do you think I can record with
Speaker 1: it on? And then I forgot to put it in?
Speaker 1: So I did. Two days ago I got invisil line again.
Speaker 1: Now I have had in Visilne. I had it five
Speaker 1: years ago. I had it for about six or seven
Speaker 1: months because my teeth weren't that bad, just a few
Speaker 1: little crooked pick offences.
Speaker 2: Also, this is not sponsored by in Vizilin.
Speaker 1: It is not sponsored. No. So five years ago I
Speaker 1: had in visil line, fixed my teeth right up and
Speaker 1: then very unnew usual for her, but delilah.
Speaker 2: Ate she never eats anything that's important. Ever, She never
Speaker 2: She only eats things very important. But she ate my retainer.
Speaker 2: How many retainers did she eat? Two?
Speaker 1: Three, four? You know, shaite two, shade two. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: when you finish your in visil line, it's not just over.
Speaker 1: You have to then wear a plate forever at night time.
Speaker 1: It's like a retainer, so every night for the rest
Speaker 1: of existence, so that your teeth don't move. You put
Speaker 1: this anyway, it's very annoying. It's hard to remember whatever.
Speaker 1: That's irrelevant. Delilah ate my visil line, set ate it,
Speaker 1: tewed it to bits and I was like, that's so annoying.
Speaker 1: I have one more left. Then she buried that one
Speaker 1: in the yard. Cannot find it.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like when you lose a car key
Speaker 2: and then you have one car key left and you
Speaker 2: just you just run it. You run it so long.
Speaker 2: You know you should get a spare, but you do
Speaker 2: it so long until you also lose that one, and
Speaker 2: then you're fucked.
Speaker 1: And then you do lose it and it kind of
Speaker 1: happen and then your teeth move as a matter of
Speaker 1: time and you can't drive your car anymore.
Speaker 2: Now you're snag.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I've got the little clips on my teeth,
Speaker 1: but I have a tiny, little they very little lisp.
Speaker 1: It's cute when I wear it, so I have to
Speaker 1: get used to it before I put on for the recorder.
Speaker 1: I was the whole way through.
Speaker 2: Do you know?
Speaker 1: I think I've told you this.
Speaker 2: I used to have a gap so big between my
Speaker 2: front teeth that I could fit a two dollar coin
Speaker 2: between it. Before I got in visil line, I kind
Speaker 2: of face is like, what that's a little gapping map. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like a gapping gapster. I used to be able to
Speaker 2: like put coins between it. My mom, Oh, it was
Speaker 2: a joke. I used to get called a piggybank.
Speaker 1: That's really mean.
Speaker 2: Is it cute? It's so mean. Yeah, I've got lots
Speaker 2: of childhood trauma. We could start unpacking it one day
Speaker 2: if you want to.
Speaker 1: There are supermodels with gaps that are only supermodels because
Speaker 1: of their gaps.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's where I went wrong. I got mine
Speaker 2: closed up and then the career was over.
Speaker 1: That was the only Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean yesterday we went to Melbourne, had
Speaker 2: a cute day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, down and back just for lung, did.
Speaker 2: A fly by, and now we're here, ready to answer
Speaker 2: all your deep dark and you're burning questions.
Speaker 1: So I had this realization this morning. Do you know
Speaker 1: those like how do you know your partner's not gonna
Speaker 1: cheat on you? Kind of thing? They're pretty funny.
Speaker 2: Wait, you had a realization that Ben wasn't gonna cheat
Speaker 2: on you, or you realize you were't gonna cheat on bed.
Speaker 1: Well, it's made me want to put this out to
Speaker 1: the life is right because I had a realization this morning.
Speaker 1: I was getting ready for work, and I always FaceTime
Speaker 1: Ben in the morning. I'm usually this is my preference.
Speaker 1: I'm usually waxed down there.
Speaker 2: Do you wax? Do laser? Do you? So?
Speaker 1: I lasered many moons ago and then I didn't again,
Speaker 1: didn't do the follow up the same as it's retainer.
Speaker 1: You just get away from me. It's like, that's a
Speaker 1: real theme going on here.
Speaker 2: Now you wax the stragglers.
Speaker 1: Well, no, it's no, it didn't. It just grows back aftertime.
Speaker 1: If you don't continue your laser, it goes back to
Speaker 1: pretty much normal.
Speaker 2: So is it not like thinner or whispy.
Speaker 1: There's not a wisp. It's not like a blowdry, it's
Speaker 1: not bouncy. It's just it's thinner. Yeah, it grows back less,
Speaker 1: but it's still pretty normal. Like it's a pretty normal growth. Now.
Speaker 1: I have not maintained that since I came back from
Speaker 1: Scotland to see bands, so it's been a couple of months.
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just living my best life. It is wild.
Speaker 2: It's three months, yeah, almost three months. Three months of growth,
Speaker 2: which is fine if you're somebody who embraces full bush.
Speaker 2: But knowing that you're not that person, it's.
Speaker 1: Fine if you are a busher. I'm not a busher
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: I'm like a bull turkey.
Speaker 1: Sure was not going to say that.
Speaker 2: Like a little hairless cat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm the Persian cat. That sounds better than what
Speaker 1: sphinx sphinx cat. Yeah whatever, We're really getting off track.
Speaker 1: My vagina is not wrinkling. I am not like a
Speaker 1: sphinx cat. It is just usually hairless. So I'm getting
Speaker 1: ready for next morning jumping the shower and he caught
Speaker 1: a glimpse. He was like, well, it's like, what's going
Speaker 1: on down there? I started laughing. I said, hey, at
Speaker 1: least you know I'm not cheating on you. He's like, why,
Speaker 1: because you got the bush and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I would maintain this if I was ever gonna
Speaker 1: cheat on you. If the day comes that you're not
Speaker 1: here and this is like looking beautiful and maintain, you
Speaker 1: know something's up.
Speaker 2: Are you saying that you will only maintain for someone else?
Speaker 2: Like if you're on your own, you will not, Like,
Speaker 2: none of that is for your own. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Sense of sexiness. It's only if you're single and you
Speaker 2: think that you're gonna get.
Speaker 1: Some, not all the time. Sometimes I would in the past,
Speaker 1: but I've been really busy and tired, and I haven't
Speaker 1: even been able to go to the beach right lately.
Speaker 1: I've been really I just have been working in the days.
Speaker 1: That's it. I've been really committed. But I went to
Speaker 1: the beach the other day with producing Geisha. I took
Speaker 1: my pants off and given producing Gisha was like wow
Speaker 1: because I had like this high cat bikini. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you've been lazy back home. And I looked down and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. It's like and there's
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with bush, but I just it really hit
Speaker 1: home then because I just ignore it. I don't even
Speaker 1: look down there, to be honest, when I'm welcome.
Speaker 2: To being married and having two kids, I can't even
Speaker 2: tell you what it's like anymore.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I know it is trivial. I know it's ridiculous. There
Speaker 1: is nothing wrong with the bush. I cannot stress that enough.
Speaker 1: But for me, I don't like it. I don't want it,
Speaker 1: and historically speaking, I haven't had it. So it is
Speaker 1: that kind of a thing where it's like, now that
Speaker 1: it's here, if I'm jazzing it up questions. It's like
Speaker 1: when you used to go out.
Speaker 2: I don't know if.
Speaker 1: Anyone else has ever done this or if this is
Speaker 1: again just me, but when you used to go out,
Speaker 1: if you were like if you were single, and you're like,
Speaker 1: I definitely just want to go to my friends. I
Speaker 1: don't want to hook up with anyone. I want to
Speaker 1: make sure I'm looking up with anyone. So you wear
Speaker 1: like your biggest bridge at Jones is you. You're like
Speaker 1: as unsexy as it can get, so that if the
Speaker 1: if thecious nodding her head, if the opportunity presents itself,
Speaker 1: you've got to remember that you've got your bridget Jones
Speaker 1: is on, Yeah, your Grainny Undies or whatever else. It's
Speaker 1: sort of like that, But no, I do still sometimes
Speaker 1: when I've got the energy maintain it. But I just
Speaker 1: haven't lately, and I just haven't felt the need. I
Speaker 1: just I just really want to live my best life.
Speaker 2: Do you know what mine is? Mineus? If I don't
Speaker 2: draw my eyebrows on, like, I get to a point
Speaker 2: where I'm like.
Speaker 1: Oh my extreme, I don't.
Speaker 2: So Matt knows if you put your eyebrows on his well, no,
Speaker 2: Like I don't put eyebrows on for myself. It's for
Speaker 2: other people, but I'll only do it when I'm leaving
Speaker 2: the house or like, but if I'm just a home
Speaker 2: with Matt, no eyebrows, But eyeraws are very important to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, so eyebrows is your think, I ras are my thing.
Speaker 2: Like if I'm like, if I'm really staunched on never
Speaker 2: leaving the house without it, it's because.
Speaker 1: If anyone else being like a thing, like maybe their
Speaker 1: partner plays video games or something like or just ordered
Speaker 1: twenty one new video games, You're like, feel pretty safe.
Speaker 1: They're not gonna do let us know if you have one.
Speaker 2: All right, well, there was something else you wanted to
Speaker 2: seek about before we get into answering all you're deep,
Speaker 2: dark and you're burning questions, and that is h Hugh
Speaker 2: Grant at the Oscars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I imagine most people have seen this by now, but.
Speaker 2: I hadn't seen that.
Speaker 1: I actually was surprised by that because you do live
Speaker 1: on your phone and it is everywhere.
Speaker 2: I've been very busy.
Speaker 1: So Hugh Grant and Ashley Graham have had this altercation.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to say I say altercation in
Speaker 1: rabbity is because it wasn't really, but okay, they're going viral.
Speaker 1: I woke up after the Oscars and all I could
Speaker 1: read online is how much of an asshole Hugh Grant was,
Speaker 1: how rude Hugh Grant was. Can't believe he did that.
Speaker 1: Everyone was saying, I can't believe Hugh Grant did this.
Speaker 1: If you don't want to be at the Oscar's on
Speaker 1: the red carp and be interfew, don't go. Why do
Speaker 1: you have to be such a prick? Is it hard
Speaker 1: to just have some respect? Because Ashley Graham, who came
Speaker 1: into the spotlight for being plus sized model body positivity
Speaker 1: in the States, and now she's interviewing, which is amazing,
Speaker 1: Like she's on the Oscars interviewing some of the biggest
Speaker 1: stars in the world.
Speaker 2: It is pretty cool.
Speaker 3: Have a little listen, Hugret, you are a veteran of
Speaker 3: the Oscars and you've been here a few times. What's
Speaker 3: your favorite thing about coming to the Oscars?
Speaker 1: Well, love, it's fascinating.
Speaker 2: It's the whole of humanity is here. It's it's fantasy fair. Oh,
Speaker 2: it's all about vanity fair.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's where we let loosen have a little go fun.
Speaker 3: What are you most excited to see tonight?
Speaker 2: To see?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I know that you probably watched a few
Speaker 3: of the movies. Are you excited to see anybody?
Speaker 1: When?
Speaker 3: Do you have your hopes up for anyone? Not?
Speaker 2: No one in particular?
Speaker 3: Okay, well what are you wearing tonight?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 3: Just my suit?
Speaker 2: Your suit?
Speaker 3: Major suit?
Speaker 1: You didn't make it, I can't remember my Taylor.
Speaker 3: That's okay, to the tailor. So tell me what does
Speaker 3: it feel like to be in Glass Onion? It was
Speaker 3: such an amazing film.
Speaker 2: I really loved it. I love a thriller.
Speaker 3: How fun is it to shoot something like that?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm barely in it. I'm in it for about
Speaker 1: three seconds.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but still you showed up and you had fun?
Speaker 1: Right almost?
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, okay, Well thank you so much. It
Speaker 3: was nice to talk to you all right, back to
Speaker 3: you guys.
Speaker 2: Okay. So I hadn't seen this until this morning, and
Speaker 2: Britt comes in and she's like, I really want to
Speaker 2: talk about the Ashley and q Grant situation, to which
Speaker 2: I was none the wiser, but now, but now I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm fully abreast of it. I don't think
Speaker 2: it is that bad. Do I think he's an asshole?
Speaker 2: Do I think he treated her terribly in the big Carbet? No,
Speaker 2: I don't think it's that bad. I do think that
Speaker 2: maybe it's been quite inflamed. I haven't seen all the
Speaker 2: articles that you've read. I haven't seen like the backlash
Speaker 2: that he's received, so I can't speak to how bad
Speaker 2: it's been.
Speaker 1: Well, they've literally labeled it viral. They're like, this has
Speaker 1: gone viral.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I mean, I think though he's given her
Speaker 2: nothing like it would be incredibly nerve wracking to be
Speaker 2: the person to ask questions on the red carpet. I
Speaker 2: think her questions are particularly poor. I think they're particularly
Speaker 2: average questions which he's just not giving her anything back.
Speaker 2: I mean, I do think he could have been a
Speaker 2: little bit nicer and maybe been a little bit more enthusiastic.
Speaker 2: But I guess the big debate that we've been having
Speaker 2: in the office is whether or not there's a responsibility for.
Speaker 1: Him to be that. Well, this is the thing. If
Speaker 1: you guys go and watch the clip, I imagine maybe
Speaker 1: it's a country by country thing. Maybe it's Americans, British Australians.
Speaker 1: Maybe we formulated our opinions differently. Neither of them were amazing.
Speaker 1: She was not a good interviewer, I don't think. And
Speaker 1: he didn't respond well. And now maybe this was a
Speaker 1: domino effect or like a bouncing effect, because she didn't
Speaker 1: give him good questions. He didn't give her good answers,
Speaker 1: flustered her. She gave him worse questions back. He was
Speaker 1: getting over it. I don't know if this is what
Speaker 1: it was. It was like a table tennis back and
Speaker 1: forth of a shit fight. Her interview style was fine
Speaker 1: for maybe an every day down the street interview with
Speaker 1: some or a local premiere. I don't think it was
Speaker 1: up to the standard of an oscar red carpet, and
Speaker 1: I think that's what Hugh probably thought. I also think
Speaker 1: Hugh probably thought she didn't really know much about him,
Speaker 1: which maybe he got defensive about because the questions were
Speaker 1: very simple. She asked him about the Glass Sungions movie
Speaker 1: he was in and how amazing it was to film that,
Speaker 1: and people are saying he was rude because he said
Speaker 1: back to her, I mean I was only in it
Speaker 1: for three seconds, because he made the smallest cameo. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's rude. She asked him how amazing it
Speaker 1: was to film. He was like, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: opened a door. I was in it for three whole seconds,
Speaker 1: Like I just wasn't there, I thought.
Speaker 2: She asked him, did you have fun? Like is it fun?
Speaker 2: She did, which I think, I mean, obviously the answer
Speaker 2: is yes, I had fun. But it's truly I guess
Speaker 2: I think it kind of trivialized. Is it a bit
Speaker 2: right if that's the only if you have this one
Speaker 2: opportunity to ask someone a question on the red carpet
Speaker 2: or the Oscars, and you're asking Hugh Grant what he's wearing,
Speaker 2: and if he had heaps of fun doing a movie
Speaker 2: that he only was in for four seconds, when he
Speaker 2: is a literal superstar yeah and has been the lead
Speaker 2: role of many movies. I feel like it just trivialized
Speaker 2: his accomplishments. And that was probably why he wasn't. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't think he was rude. I think he didn't
Speaker 2: give her anything. That was it. It was the lack
Speaker 2: of enthusiasm. But I think the reason for the lack
Speaker 2: of enthusiasm is because of the lack of prep that
Speaker 2: she's put into the questions.
Speaker 1: I think so, And my heart goes out to her
Speaker 1: because you can see that she's like viscerally nervous. I
Speaker 1: feel like, as someone that has done interviews, it is
Speaker 1: nerve wracking. No, no, I know you have too, Laura.
Speaker 1: It's a horrible feeling, especially when things go off peace
Speaker 1: and then not going the way you think they're going
Speaker 1: to go, which is what happened for her. And she
Speaker 1: did a good enough job. She still came across okay.
Speaker 1: But I felt for her because I could feel and
Speaker 1: see her nerves and I could hear it in her voice.
Speaker 1: She kept it together, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like she threw a question to him when she panicked,
Speaker 1: what are you wearing? We have heard so many women
Speaker 1: in the past come out on the red carpet and say,
Speaker 1: but you know, please don't ask me that, ask me
Speaker 1: about what I've just done. Ask me about my work,
Speaker 1: ask me about what I'm doing, because you know, this
Speaker 1: is my life and I'm putting so much into it.
Speaker 1: Let's not focus on what I look like in this
Speaker 1: hot second. Maybe you felt they maybe he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I've done so much work and so much
Speaker 1: acting on it. He's literally anclaimed actor. Does that make
Speaker 1: him a wanker for wanting that? I don't know. Maybe,
Speaker 1: but she's gone down the root of what head you wear?
Speaker 1: And I think at the end of the day, these
Speaker 1: people are walking down the red carpet with so many media,
Speaker 1: they get like a minute or two with each person,
Speaker 1: they move on, they do questions again, So we don't know.
Speaker 1: This is a small snippet in a big night. We
Speaker 1: don't know where she was in the interview, Q, how
Speaker 1: many he'd done, whatever. But I don't think this interview
Speaker 1: deserves the hate that Hugh is getting around the world
Speaker 1: right now. It is not actually wild.
Speaker 2: I think when somebody is not giving a good interview
Speaker 2: and they don't and haven't done the prep on that person,
Speaker 2: and they don't seem to know anything that would like
Speaker 2: spark an interesting conversation, I do think that it would
Speaker 2: be very exasperating for that person who's then got to
Speaker 2: carry the interview, got to seem like they're enthusiastic about
Speaker 2: something that they're not. However, there is a lot to
Speaker 2: be said about when you're the person who is in
Speaker 2: that position. So Hugh being hugely successful, he is at
Speaker 2: the top of his he once upon a time was
Speaker 2: not at the top of his game. He once upon
Speaker 2: a time would have been the person that was nervous totally.
Speaker 2: He would have been in the situation where maybe he
Speaker 2: fumbled questions, maybe he wasn't able to, you know, perform.
Speaker 2: And I think it goes so far to give an
Speaker 2: olive branch. When you see someone doing that, it shows
Speaker 2: a real level of kindness and empathy. If you can
Speaker 2: see that someone's struggling on the receiving end, maybe they're
Speaker 2: not doing their job well in that space, give them
Speaker 2: more because it makes their job easier. And I think
Speaker 2: in this instance he could have leaned into being nice
Speaker 2: and giving more, but instead he was a bit like
Speaker 2: what the fuck are you asking me, which I think
Speaker 2: is not the most helpful or kind way of going
Speaker 2: about it. Do I think that makes him an asshole? No,
Speaker 2: But I think that there's many factors here, and maybe
Speaker 2: the backlash has been a bit too extreme.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course he could have given them more. Everyone
Speaker 1: can always give them more. But then the argument, And
Speaker 1: I do want to say I didn't formulate my opinion
Speaker 1: until I did a lot of deep diggy.
Speaker 2: I also want to say, I think most people read
Speaker 2: articles and then you get a vibe. You're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: that guy's an asshole. You are Can you see five
Speaker 2: seconds of a clip? You don't actually watch the extended
Speaker 2: version of what happens, And then you're formulating an opinion
Speaker 2: based on other people's opinion, which is very fucking dangerous.
Speaker 1: Yes. The last thing I want to say is a
Speaker 1: lot of British have come out in his defense, some actors,
Speaker 1: like some people in the Spotlight, just some everyday folk
Speaker 1: and have said, guys, this, this is not rude. This
Speaker 1: is literally just British. This is the way we are.
Speaker 1: We aren't over the top and enthusiastic like Americans are,
Speaker 1: so we don't converse in the same way.
Speaker 2: Could he have given more?
Speaker 1: Yes? Is he supposed to be the most hate man
Speaker 1: in the world today for that interview? Absolutely not. And
Speaker 1: I only come out in his defense a little bit
Speaker 1: because I think it's really unfair that, like you just said,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people very easily these days
Speaker 1: don't consume news and media in the right way. I
Speaker 1: think we scroll past. I've done it before. We scroll past,
Speaker 1: we read the headline, we formulate the opinion, we tell
Speaker 1: everyone else, we get angry. Do you see how much
Speaker 1: a wanker here Grant was? What do you do? I
Speaker 1: don't know it was really rude on the red carpet though,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I didn't seen it. And that's just a
Speaker 1: small example. So I think that this one was a
Speaker 1: prime example of consuming new in a better way.
Speaker 2: Well also, just like it's a perfect example of how
Speaker 2: some things are just not that bad as what they
Speaker 2: seem like when you read a headline. Absolutely click before
Speaker 2: we get into answering your questions, we have a vibe
Speaker 2: for this week. What we would like to recommending it?
Speaker 2: Kick it off for what what I you?
Speaker 1: I abon? All right, well, I'm not proud to say
Speaker 1: this one.
Speaker 2: I know what you're gonna say.
Speaker 1: And I'm so glad that I influenced you. Laura Burn
Speaker 1: influenced me.
Speaker 2: I have an influencer everybody.
Speaker 1: If you influenza, if youf o Laura. You'll see that sporadically.
Speaker 1: She posts like herself in a very scary mask. It's
Speaker 1: not ad dress up mask. It's like a lead light mask.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to make your skin all beautiful. You walk
Speaker 1: its hand, it's got a little battery thing in the hand,
Speaker 1: and you do it not look like I'm twenty one
Speaker 1: years old again like it because I looked at you
Speaker 1: and I was like, your skin looks really good. What
Speaker 1: have you You've been doing? You're like the mask. You
Speaker 1: even took it to ULARU Like when we went to
Speaker 1: the Northern Territory. You walked out in the mask and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, she's got you do you have
Speaker 1: an addictive personality, but you had an addiction to the mask.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, she's either been sucked into
Speaker 1: some advertising online or she's onto something.
Speaker 2: I haven't been sucked in and I'm not addicted to it.
Speaker 2: You have to be dedicated. You have to use there
Speaker 2: every other night of the week for ten minutes.
Speaker 1: And I took it to the Gold Coast with me,
Speaker 1: so I anyway, I went to my you are glowing. Thanks,
Speaker 1: You're just saying that. I went to the skin specialist
Speaker 1: that I always go to. You guys know that I
Speaker 1: do a lot of stuff with my skin.
Speaker 2: Every same day I'm doing something at the skin doctor.
Speaker 2: I'm waiting for you to call me and say I've
Speaker 2: got a facelift. Honestly, everything evasive one I know, but
Speaker 2: ever real one every day genuinely.
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm out that bureau and I'm like, Gus,
Speaker 1: I've just getting my skin done. You're like, what do
Speaker 1: you gain?
Speaker 2: Ten percent of brit skin is actually her skin still.
Speaker 1: I've grafted it from a beautiful chart. Yes, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm proud of my skin because I put a lot
Speaker 1: of time and money into it. But it's one thing
Speaker 1: that I want to Anykay, we're getting off, don't you
Speaker 1: come for me for looking after my skin.
Speaker 2: Fret's vibe is the omni lugs.
Speaker 1: Let me get there. So I went to my skin
Speaker 1: specialists that I go to every day and I said, look,
Speaker 1: Laura's been posting his mask. She's like, I know, I've
Speaker 1: seen it, and I said, tell me the truth, because
Speaker 1: I'm getting sucked in. Do I want to buy it?
Speaker 1: Doesn't do anything? And she said absolutely, She said I
Speaker 1: use it myself at home. Anyway, I bought it that afternoon,
Speaker 1: came the next day, very quick delivery. It's an omnilux,
Speaker 1: not sponsored. Should be omnilux, Yeah, definitely should be sponsored
Speaker 1: because it's very expensive. Yeah, and I also have an
Speaker 1: addiction now. I walk around all the time with it
Speaker 1: because you've got a little batch from your hand. I
Speaker 1: took it up to the Gold Coast like you took
Speaker 1: it to ULARU. Like, I'm committed, and I've been I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is the right thing. You suppose
Speaker 1: it for ten minutes a day, I've been doubling it.
Speaker 1: I've been doing twenty minutes. I'm like, I hope it
Speaker 1: doesn't burn my face off, but I'm doing twenty. So
Speaker 1: that's my recommendation. It is not cheap. It is about
Speaker 1: six hundred dollars five pounds. If you can get it
Speaker 1: on sale, you can get it for three or four.
Speaker 1: But from what I have been told, and don't hold
Speaker 1: me to this, but what I have been told, it
Speaker 1: is a great mask and if you are going somewhere
Speaker 1: and constantly getting these things done, it might be the
Speaker 1: right thing for you. Okay, Well, I'm glad that I
Speaker 1: influenced you. Douc Keisha's wearing crocs now, so so a
Speaker 1: double influencer. You've double whemmy, yeah, double whammy this week?
Speaker 1: Good for me?
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I have a recommendation. It is a book.
Speaker 2: It is from a wonderful woman who we interviewed on
Speaker 2: the podcast. I think it was like two years ago now,
Speaker 2: Kath Kochel. She is phenomenal. She speaks about kindness and
Speaker 2: her book is called aptly named Kindness. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: read this little blurb. It's what's surviving on the kindness
Speaker 2: of strangers. Taught me about perspective, connection and happiness. Now,
Speaker 2: if you haven't listened to the interview that we did
Speaker 2: with Cath, it is and has been one of my
Speaker 2: favorite interviews for so long. We'll pop a link into
Speaker 2: the show notes. Go and have a listen to it
Speaker 2: after this. But she speaks about her injury that she suffered,
Speaker 2: how she taught herself to walk again, and how much
Speaker 2: kindness as a I mean as a vehicle for healing herself,
Speaker 2: as a vehicle for giving her life purpose has changed her.
Speaker 2: And she has a foundation called the Kindness Factory. She
Speaker 2: truly is a phenomenal woman and I'm not doing it justice,
Speaker 2: but I would love to recommend her book and also
Speaker 2: go back listen to that episode also. Now, this is
Speaker 2: a very selfish one, but Tony May is having a
Speaker 2: sale today and so I'm going to throw that in
Speaker 2: there as my vibe because it is a twenty five
Speaker 2: percent off flash sale just for the day.
Speaker 1: So if you listen to this today, go by is
Speaker 1: that sponsored? Have you? Have you brought your kischen and
Speaker 1: jewel real?
Speaker 2: This episode is brought to you by Tony May. We
Speaker 2: are having a flash sale twenty five percent off.
Speaker 1: No, it's amazing. I'm going to go get something tomorrow
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get things for free though when you remember. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's get into the questions question number one, when is
Speaker 2: it okay to be someone's second choice? For context, I
Speaker 2: met this guy five years ago and we followed each
Speaker 2: other on Instagram. Fast forward and we went on a
Speaker 2: nice date a few weeks ago. The following week, I
Speaker 2: got a message saying that he had such a great
Speaker 2: time and he really likes me, but his ex had
Speaker 2: been in contact and he felt as though things weren't
Speaker 2: finished between them. Fast forward again. Dam It's been two
Speaker 2: months and he's now messaging me saying that things are
Speaker 2: well and truly finished between him and his ex and
Speaker 2: that he'd liked to give us a go again. Would
Speaker 2: you go yes?
Speaker 1: Go where away? Or go back? Could you go on
Speaker 1: a date? Would you go to Alaska? Would you give
Speaker 1: him another chance? Yes?
Speaker 2: You are a glutton for punishment.
Speaker 1: For the reason is commence this guy five years ago
Speaker 1: for each other on Instagram. Fast forward when on a date.
Speaker 1: He's been really honest. Right, So I have also been
Speaker 1: in a situation, but he has been honest where he's
Speaker 1: broken up with someone, he's tried to get back into
Speaker 1: the world. I actually I literally did this last year.
Speaker 1: I've just thought about this. He broke up with someone,
Speaker 1: he's tried to get back into the dating world. You've
Speaker 1: gone on a date with him. He's been honest and said.
Speaker 2: I need to close the chapter if something might.
Speaker 1: Still be there. I'm just not really pasted it yet.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go back and finish that chapter or
Speaker 1: extend that chapter, whatever that's going to be. I'm going
Speaker 1: to reread the chapter. So he's gone back, it's obviously finished.
Speaker 1: He has closed it. He had feelings for you. He's
Speaker 1: come back and he said, I just want to let
Speaker 1: you know. I'm I'm all ready now, do you want
Speaker 1: to go on a date? I did exactly that last year,
Speaker 1: and I think it's okay. I wanted to move on
Speaker 1: from my past relationship started to see this guy. He
Speaker 1: was great, like he was actually a nice guy, but
Speaker 1: I still had these feelings and I still needed to
Speaker 1: close the other chapter. So I was honest with him,
Speaker 1: closed the chapter, and then I went back to him
Speaker 1: because I was because he was a nice guy, and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I feel like I'm ready now,
Speaker 1: and he was about it. He's like, no worries, I
Speaker 1: understand you had to go and do that. I don't
Speaker 1: think he's done the wrong thing here. Actually, I think
Speaker 1: he's been pretty honest. I think it's a different thing
Speaker 1: if it wasn't an ex relationship and he's just like
Speaker 1: flitting between two people constantly, like I can't choose, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want you or I don't
Speaker 1: know if I want Sally. You're both great. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go see Sally for a week and come. That's different.
Speaker 1: But this was a past relationship. He's been honest and
Speaker 1: now he wants to explore it with you. I would
Speaker 1: explore it if he shows his fuck boy cards straight
Speaker 1: out of the bat, different story. But I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: shutting this down right now.
Speaker 2: I do think it's important, though, to kind of like
Speaker 2: reflect on the fact that it does feel like you're
Speaker 2: the second choice. Right It's easy to say, like, oh,
Speaker 2: just go and try it. See, like when you've been
Speaker 2: invested in someone and you like them and then they've
Speaker 2: turned around and said, hey, there's actually someone else, and
Speaker 2: then they're like, oh, that didn't work out, I'll try
Speaker 2: you again. Like that feels pretty shit, And it also
Speaker 2: can breed massive insecurities in someone as to whether that
Speaker 2: person's going to be invested brids someone because she was
Speaker 2: the one who did it. She's like, give them a chance.
Speaker 1: No, because the other thing is I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm going to call a Spader's bade here.
Speaker 1: You met five years ago. You just went on a date,
Speaker 1: like you've been the second choice for a long time.
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of people before you of the
Speaker 1: last five years. You didn't meet last week and he
Speaker 1: can't make his mind up. It's been five years. I think,
Speaker 1: go on the day. Yeah, okay, I forgot about that
Speaker 1: five life you've been the second choice. Let it go.
Speaker 2: No, But I think I mean making this question a
Speaker 2: bit more broad. I think this does happen in a
Speaker 2: much shorter timeframe pretty frequently. I have a situation which
Speaker 2: is from my past, where I dated someone for a
Speaker 2: long time. We were together, and then he started dating
Speaker 2: someone else, and then I came back into the picture
Speaker 2: for him, and he kind of went between the two
Speaker 2: of us. It was really hard for him because I
Speaker 2: think he thought of me as a fly risk, but
Speaker 2: the other girl was safe at the time, right, and
Speaker 2: so he was trying to choose between who he wanted
Speaker 2: to be with. He is now married to her. He
Speaker 2: now has children with her, and.
Speaker 1: I still hate him.
Speaker 2: No, no, no no, And I think at the time, this
Speaker 2: is not me trying to blow smoke up my ass.
Speaker 2: But she would have felt like she was the second
Speaker 2: choice because he broke up with her, came back to me,
Speaker 2: got back with her when I broke up with him,
Speaker 2: got back with me again, Like he broke up with
Speaker 2: her two times to get back with me. Wild then
Speaker 2: they got back together.
Speaker 1: A third time.
Speaker 2: Good guy, Yeah, great guy, great guy, you know, and
Speaker 2: she gave him multiple chances that I think and yeah,
Speaker 2: well no, I yeah, that was more into the story.
Speaker 1: We're ready to get unto that.
Speaker 2: But the thing is he is now married to her,
Speaker 2: they have children, he's in a committed relationship, and he
Speaker 2: loves her. She is no longer the second choice. And
Speaker 2: I think that that's so important sometimes when our relationship
Speaker 2: starts off with this rocky back and forth, if someone
Speaker 2: then makes that commitment and wants to be in that relationship,
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean that you are forever then and forever
Speaker 2: more the second choice of that relationship. Your first relationship,
Speaker 2: your first priority, is the one that you choose. And
Speaker 2: I think you can give this the opportunity to be
Speaker 2: something amazing, give it a chance. And if he does
Speaker 2: exactly as you said, Britt, show his fuck boy cards,
Speaker 2: and you continue to feel like a second option, then
Speaker 2: obviously it's not the right relationship and you should walk away.
Speaker 2: But I don't think that we should just be so
Speaker 2: quick to say I'm not giving that person a chance
Speaker 2: because they tried something else before me. I do think
Speaker 2: it's important though, for a self preservation perspective, say, like
Speaker 2: you've been in a relationship with someone, I'm going to
Speaker 2: throw a different scenario out there. Say you've been in
Speaker 2: a relationship for a long time with someone, they've fallen
Speaker 2: out of love with you and they want to be
Speaker 2: with someone else, and then they've come back to you.
Speaker 2: That's a much harder situation to try and navigate. When
Speaker 2: someone who you've been in a committed relationship leaves you
Speaker 2: for someone else and then comes back, that really does
Speaker 2: make you feel like a second choice. And I think
Speaker 2: that every situation is dependent, and what it comes down
Speaker 2: to isn't so much that other person and the fact
Speaker 2: that they're choosing you. Now, it comes down to how
Speaker 2: are you going to be in that relationship? Can you
Speaker 2: trust them? Are you going to be able to build
Speaker 2: a foundation and believe that you're their first choice eventually?
Speaker 2: Because that shit can reak such havoc on your self
Speaker 2: confidence and in your ability to feel safe in a
Speaker 2: relationship and like they're not just going to run away
Speaker 2: and be with someone else.
Speaker 1: Relationships are super messy and convoluted. They're very rarely straightforward.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think we romanticize messy, complicated relationships too much though,
Speaker 2: and think that that's the norm.
Speaker 1: Well, what I mean by that is I genuinely believe
Speaker 1: we are starting to possibly become too quick to cut
Speaker 1: people off at the knees and say they've done the
Speaker 1: wrong thing and not sit there and actually listen to
Speaker 1: them and hear them out and think about it. I
Speaker 1: think I think as a generation, we're starting to become
Speaker 1: too quick to jump on the defensive and say what
Speaker 1: a dickhead when you sit there and break it down.
Speaker 1: When I say relationships can be complicated and messy if
Speaker 1: he is with his ex partner for quite a long time,
Speaker 1: very rarely are breakups and endings easy. Very rarely is it?
Speaker 1: I mean, sometimes it is sure we don't like each other,
Speaker 1: we're breaking up, move on, we'll be friends where I'm great,
Speaker 1: what a dream. But that's not a common thing. So
Speaker 1: in this particular situation, and I encourage everybody to start
Speaker 1: to do this. When you know you're fronted with something
Speaker 1: that is a tricky conversation, look at it like this.
Speaker 1: This guy has actually been super honest. He has said
Speaker 1: he really likes you. Then he has said I don't
Speaker 1: want to mess you around. There is something I need
Speaker 1: to still work out with my ex, so I need
Speaker 1: to go and do that, which is basically him saying
Speaker 1: I can't give you what you need right now. Great,
Speaker 1: he's honest, he's gone and done that, and then he's
Speaker 1: come back and said, if you give me another go,
Speaker 1: I'd love to take you out because I've closed that chapter,
Speaker 1: which I couldn't do before, couldn't be there for you
Speaker 1: before because I was still half my foot's still half
Speaker 1: in the door with the other relationship. There is no
Speaker 1: harm to be done by going on another date. But
Speaker 1: like Laura said, to reiterate, now you start to see
Speaker 1: him and you still are unsure, and you still feel
Speaker 1: like the second choice, even though there's no one else.
Speaker 1: You still feel like he's out there looking around for
Speaker 1: something better, not the right thing. But definitely give for
Speaker 1: to go because you don't know if something amazing, a
Speaker 1: magical could come from that. There's no harm in it.
Speaker 1: Second is fuck boy cart is out, Get out of
Speaker 1: the door? Question two? How can I distance our relationship
Speaker 1: without ruining it? I have a half sister, same mum,
Speaker 1: different dad, that is a few years older than me,
Speaker 1: and due to some family issues, we did not grow
Speaker 1: up together. She lived with her dad who remarried, and
Speaker 1: I lived with my mum. We only reconnected around two
Speaker 1: years ago, and at first it seems like the greatest
Speaker 1: thing ever, after twenty nine years as an only child,
Speaker 1: who wouldn't suddenly want a sister. Initially I love the
Speaker 1: idea of having a sister, but I now know that
Speaker 1: her and I are just completely different people, not in
Speaker 1: a bad way, but she's more extroverted and wants the
Speaker 1: type of relationship where we text all day, call a
Speaker 1: few times a week, and basically give a play by
Speaker 1: play of our day in our lives. Me or the
Speaker 1: other hand, I'm more of an introvert. I don't feel
Speaker 1: the need to chat and text unnecessarily unless there is
Speaker 1: literally something I really need to talk about. How do
Speaker 1: I navigate this? How do I put some distance between
Speaker 1: my new half sister without ruining the relationship completely.
Speaker 2: I wonder if she's just excited. I wonder if she's
Speaker 2: so excited to have someone in her life.
Speaker 1: Some people, I think this is purely personality trait.
Speaker 2: Like some people are really intense in their friendships and
Speaker 2: they go from zero to one hundred and they want
Speaker 2: to be It's like you're in a relationship but with
Speaker 2: you know, someone that's platonic.
Speaker 1: I am like this girl, I am the like I
Speaker 1: don't want to be texting and calling and talking unnecessarily.
Speaker 1: I'm the worst for it. I'm like, why, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but we have something to text about. You never, you
Speaker 1: would never in your life go hey, I miss you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe for weird You would never do that. You would
Speaker 1: never say you missed me back.
Speaker 2: Brittany's gone, miss you?
Speaker 3: What do you do?
Speaker 1: I have? What I think you were? Something was wrong
Speaker 1: with you? I'd like, it's everything, Okay.
Speaker 2: I definitely had friendships like this, And it's not to
Speaker 2: say that I don't still have some friendships that are similar,
Speaker 2: but I think, like, so for example, for me, when
Speaker 2: I've had these really intense friendships where I've spent all
Speaker 2: day texting and being on the phone to them, i
Speaker 2: haven't had a romantic relationship happening at the same time,
Speaker 2: because it's almost impossible to keep up that intensity. But
Speaker 2: I think it's something that's also it kind oft ebbs
Speaker 2: and flows like run away really good friends. Kaya and
Speaker 2: I go back through our WhatsApp sometimes like for years
Speaker 2: we were like that friends. We were texted everything that
Speaker 2: was happening. We were constantly texting. But the reason why
Speaker 2: we don't now is purely because our lives have transitioned
Speaker 2: into a different phase where we're both so busy, we've
Speaker 2: got kids. We still love each other the same amount,
Speaker 2: but we don't have the constantness. And I think that
Speaker 2: relationships normally do have these ebbs and flows, especially friendships
Speaker 2: will have the you know, you have intense periods and
Speaker 2: then you have less intense periods. But in saying that,
Speaker 2: it is very hard when one person feels like the
Speaker 2: friendship is overpowering them, when they feel like, oh my god, again,
Speaker 2: you're so needy and I don't have the capacity to
Speaker 2: fill that need completely. It's also not your job to
Speaker 2: constantly fill your friend's cup, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: if your friends are expecting so much of you to
Speaker 2: a point where you physically don't have the time in
Speaker 2: the day to give them what they need back, there
Speaker 2: does have to be some boundaries that are created.
Speaker 1: How do you create that?
Speaker 2: Very good question, Very hard, But I think it is
Speaker 2: also when it comes down to like almost slowing down
Speaker 2: the rapidness of yours, Like I want to say a
Speaker 2: soft fade without actually fading them out, but like don't
Speaker 2: reply as quickly, don't condition them to think that like
Speaker 2: anytime they text or call, you're going to be available
Speaker 2: to them. Maybe it takes you a day to get
Speaker 2: back to some text messages and it's like a, hey,
Speaker 2: i'mily sorry, I was busy yesterday, blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: But I think that you can also control the pace
Speaker 2: of a friendship.
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more all I was going to say.
Speaker 1: I think this one's a pretty easy one. It is
Speaker 1: a tough one. I am like that, But my friends
Speaker 1: know now what I'm like. They know that they could
Speaker 1: message me and it might actually take me a day
Speaker 1: and a half to get back, and they don't hold
Speaker 1: a grudge because they know it's who I am and
Speaker 1: it's not on purpose. Sometimes I don't even see the message, unfortunately.
Speaker 1: I think what you would do is just hold off.
Speaker 1: Maybe don't hold off days because that's just rude. But
Speaker 1: like at the end of a day, maybe she might
Speaker 1: text me in the morning, at the end of the
Speaker 1: day just say so sorry love, just literally winding down.
Speaker 1: My days have been mental lately. I hope you had
Speaker 1: a good day. You're still running back, you're still being friendly,
Speaker 1: but you're subliminately putting the message in that like life
Speaker 1: is busy and you're not going to always be able
Speaker 1: to respond at the same time. That would be my suggestion.
Speaker 1: Apart from that, if she doesn't like, there's nothing more
Speaker 1: you can do than not right back straight away, and
Speaker 1: I think that's okay. You don't have to. There's not
Speaker 1: an expectation. So if she's texting you right back when
Speaker 1: it's wait till the nighttime, all the morning time, and
Speaker 1: maybe give a little bit less. So maybe you don't
Speaker 1: And I know it sounds rude, but she will pick
Speaker 1: it up. You're not going to be rude, But don't
Speaker 1: continuously ask her all these things. If you don't actually
Speaker 1: want to have that conversation. It sucks and it's a
Speaker 1: tricky one. But that's probably what I do.
Speaker 2: But do you know, for me, I've looked this up
Speaker 2: before because a part of me was like, you know,
Speaker 2: we've had questions before.
Speaker 1: I've done Brittany running back to me.
Speaker 2: No, but I look this up because we've had we've
Speaker 2: done episodes on friendships and how to manage these sorts
Speaker 2: of relationships, and like all of the Internet says to
Speaker 2: you that you should give them a call and set
Speaker 2: boundaries and all this says, I genuinely think and I'm
Speaker 2: not a fucking psychologist, so tell me I'm wrong. That's fine.
Speaker 2: But I kind of think that that advice sucks because
Speaker 2: if I was somebody who, like if I was calling
Speaker 2: Cairo all the time and texting her because I was
Speaker 2: excited about our friendship, and she called me and was like, Hey,
Speaker 2: I'm just putting some boundaries in place with our friendship.
Speaker 2: I love you, but I actually don't want to speak
Speaker 2: to you that much. It would hurt me so much.
Speaker 2: It would hurt me that she felt like she needed
Speaker 2: to verbalize that. I think that there is a much
Speaker 2: softer way that you can approach this, which is slowing
Speaker 2: down your communication, slowing down the frequency of which you
Speaker 2: see each other doing it in a less direct way,
Speaker 2: and then seeing if she picks up on that, and
Speaker 2: giving her that opportunity first. It's only if that continues
Speaker 2: at a frequency that's completely unmanageable for you, where you
Speaker 2: feel like the friendship is overwhelming you, where it's actually
Speaker 2: making you unhappy. If you genuinely feel like you need
Speaker 2: to put those boundaries in place, then have the conversation.
Speaker 2: But some of the advice out there that I have
Speaker 2: read in terms of like how to speak to your
Speaker 2: friends about setting boundaries. I'm like, you're gonna have no
Speaker 2: fucking friends if you do that.
Speaker 1: I agree. I'm all for Like we always say, the communication, communication,
Speaker 1: community boundaries, not your boundaries. It's not always the answer
Speaker 1: of setting this strict boundary is not always the answer.
Speaker 1: Or maybe setting a boundary is the answer. But without
Speaker 1: you sitting down saying these are my boundaries, are my
Speaker 1: boundaries because it will Yeah, and I know that, like
Speaker 1: you know, psychology today will see boundaries, but this will,
Speaker 1: like you said, it could ruin a friendship. If someone
Speaker 1: also said the same to me, don't message me so
Speaker 1: many times a day, I'd be like, oh, okay, I
Speaker 1: probably would never message again. I would never I would
Speaker 1: read the room. Yeh, got it.
Speaker 2: We're so extreme.
Speaker 1: This is a time where I feel like most people
Speaker 1: can work out what the boundary.
Speaker 2: Is, and I think that this is something that maybe
Speaker 2: is slightly different. I can't even remember the episode we
Speaker 2: did on friendship, which was so long ago. If I
Speaker 2: was to listen back to that now, I'm sure at
Speaker 2: the time I would have been like, set bound your boundaries,
Speaker 2: tell them how you feel, you know, and I think
Speaker 2: think you can in extreme situations, but it is not
Speaker 2: the first go to for everything because I think sometimes.
Speaker 1: Especially not a friend that cares too much about you,
Speaker 1: Like that's the problem here. She she likes you too much,
Speaker 1: and she's not being toxic. She's like, I love you,
Speaker 1: I want to tell you everything. I want to tell you.
Speaker 2: I want to be fraenzy. And I think maybe in
Speaker 2: this situation, it is a bit of an unusual one
Speaker 2: because it's a sister that she never had, and it
Speaker 2: may be a friendship that she's leaning into so hard
Speaker 2: because it's making up for time that she feels his
Speaker 2: lost time. There's another layer to this friendship rather than
Speaker 2: it just being like an extreme intense friend And I
Speaker 2: think just navigate it sensitively and kindly without going in
Speaker 2: whole hog.
Speaker 1: And thin the she is actually a sister, She wasn't
Speaker 1: a stepsister. She's half like, yeah, she's just she's your sister.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's tricky one, Yeah all right, but.
Speaker 2: She loves you. She got a spicy, saucy one for you, brilliant.
Speaker 2: I had a dream about my boss and now I
Speaker 2: can't stop seeing him in a sexual way. He is single,
Speaker 2: but there would be what I guess you'd say, a
Speaker 2: power imbalance between us. Should I put out some feelers
Speaker 2: and see if maybe he sees me in the same way?
Speaker 2: Or am I asking for trouble. I'm not sure if
Speaker 2: it's just a bit of a hot fantasy or if
Speaker 2: maybe we actually could work in a relationship. We have
Speaker 2: a lot in common, and I know that a lot
Speaker 2: of people meet their long term partners at work.
Speaker 1: It's funny. I think it's a bit tricky because it
Speaker 1: is always tricky when there's a relationship for me with
Speaker 1: work colleagues at all, let alone your boss.
Speaker 2: There is no relationship for me. She had a dream.
Speaker 1: This is why I'm giggling, because when you say, should
Speaker 1: I put some feelers out and see if there's something there?
Speaker 1: For sure, put your feelers out. But I wouldn't ask him.
Speaker 1: I would just try and pick up Most people can
Speaker 1: pick up little tiny cues within your interactions if someone
Speaker 1: is interested. Like usually, if someone's interested, they drop the flirtiness.
Speaker 1: There's enough to be like, oh, I think there's something there.
Speaker 1: But if you've only had a dream about him and
Speaker 1: he doesn't even speak to you in the corridor, it's
Speaker 1: probably not something you should barge in and be like
Speaker 1: I need to put this on the table. Is there
Speaker 1: something here also?
Speaker 2: I okay, I think this is so funny. I think
Speaker 2: if you've only changed your feelings because of a dream,
Speaker 2: it's not real.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean I dream of like Changaina more times.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, like sometimes I wake up and MAT's cheated on
Speaker 2: me in my dream. Then I'm really angry at him
Speaker 2: and he has to remind me that dreamat is not real, Matt,
Speaker 2: and I shouldn't be taking my dream feelings into real life.
Speaker 1: I'm pointing at you. Good point, though, because dreams are
Speaker 1: real for you. You're like, you cheated on me, ashole.
Speaker 2: But they don't they don't exist. Like the feelings. The
Speaker 2: feelings are not real. The attraction if it was never
Speaker 2: there before the dream, I don't even think it's a
Speaker 2: real attraction. And my advice would be don't shop where
Speaker 2: you eat, don't try things up at your work.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm shit, were eight heaps times?
Speaker 2: And how many problems have you had?
Speaker 1: Multiple? Yeah? Yeah, but this is what you've also said, right,
Speaker 1: And I do believe in all seriousness. Were having a
Speaker 1: little giggle. But you do spend so much of your
Speaker 1: time at work. People do meet at work all the time.
Speaker 1: People get married from people they're men at work. It
Speaker 1: is a thing, but it has to be a reciper
Speaker 1: or things. So you have to know that the feelings
Speaker 1: are there. When you say, should I put the feelers out? No, yes,
Speaker 1: we're saying no. I'm saying I'm saying yes. But the
Speaker 1: feelers is not a love letter with tchick. Yes, no,
Speaker 1: maybe that's left on his desk, the feel out?
Speaker 2: How do you put a feeler out? Brit Well extended
Speaker 2: eye contact?
Speaker 1: If yeah, maybe a wink? No, you flow. You can
Speaker 1: float at such a low level and see what's gotten
Speaker 1: back like it is what you do. It's how you
Speaker 1: gauge if anyone is interested or going on his Instagram
Speaker 1: like like follow see.
Speaker 2: I know I feel like this one. To me, it's
Speaker 2: just unnecessary. It's not real. You had a dream. Dreams
Speaker 2: are not real. They are thoughts. They are thoughts that
Speaker 2: turned into feelings.
Speaker 1: Dreams aren't real. I agree, but hey, I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to be the person that stops a finding the love
Speaker 1: of a life. If the boss is a love of
Speaker 1: life and she never knows because you said dream boss.
Speaker 2: Is not real boss, dream boss is not real boss.
Speaker 2: That dream boss could be real boss. Maybe real boss
Speaker 2: is terrible in bed and dream boss was amazing. This
Speaker 2: is the definition of living in a fantasy.
Speaker 1: Explore it. I've changed so much the older I get,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, ifucking over it, I'm like, live your
Speaker 1: life advibe. No, it is not, because I'm not saying
Speaker 1: do anything inappropriate. I'm just saying you can pick up
Speaker 1: if there's a queue there like most people. Some people
Speaker 1: might not. I'm going to give you the benefit of
Speaker 1: the doubt. Most people can pick up if you give
Speaker 1: a little bit, if they give a little bit back,
Speaker 1: or if they shut it down. So I would, I'd
Speaker 1: give a little bit.
Speaker 2: Okay, But is this a work environment? So, for example,
Speaker 2: here is your boss. Is this a work environment where
Speaker 2: it would be completely inappropriate for him to be having
Speaker 2: some sort of relationship with you? Like, there are workplaces
Speaker 2: where that is an imbalance of power. It is inappropriate.
Speaker 2: It could get him fired and could also get you fired.
Speaker 2: So like, is that something that we need to consider.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I just think, fuck your colleagues, right,
Speaker 2: fuck your bosses.
Speaker 1: I think the question here is you can I think
Speaker 1: we're led down a bit of a garden track. We
Speaker 1: watch too many American shows like Suits and Stuff, where
Speaker 1: it's like we like each other. We have to go
Speaker 1: have a meeting with HR and tell them everything. There
Speaker 1: are definitely times where it's not going to be ideal
Speaker 1: and it might rub other colleagues the wrong way.
Speaker 2: For definitely industries where it's not appropriate as well.
Speaker 1: Totally, but maybe, I mean we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Speaker 1: Just put the feeling ountd just flying. Really ask him
Speaker 1: a personal question, how was your weekend?
Speaker 2: What'd you get up to?
Speaker 1: He's either going to say nothing and walk away. I
Speaker 1: just say, how to go on and coment some friends
Speaker 1: went for a drink and you can start to develop
Speaker 1: a relationship that might be outside of when do I
Speaker 1: need to get this document to you?
Speaker 2: Also keep in mind what constitutes sexual harassment in the workplace. Yeah,
Speaker 2: just chadge, just do your compliance training and stay abreast breast.
Speaker 1: Jokes.
Speaker 2: I was so unmature guys. That is it from us.
Speaker 2: Go if you have not yet subscribed to the podcast.
Speaker 2: If you listen on Apple Podcasts, go and hit the
Speaker 2: little plus sign. It means that the pod will be
Speaker 2: in your libraries every single time we drop an episode.
Speaker 2: Leave a review. We bloody love those. It would be
Speaker 2: nice if it's five stars.
Speaker 1: Better if it's a good one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like don't leave us as ship well and that sucks.
Speaker 2: But anyway, we read those as well, send them to
Speaker 2: each other sometimes we do.
Speaker 1: But you know what's funny is like when there's a
Speaker 1: bad review, Oh, I got backhanded one the other day?
Speaker 1: Did I tell you? Keisha told me no?
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 1: There was a review that said I couldn't stem b
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't stand Brittany. I found Brittany insufferable
Speaker 1: last year, but now she's better. But I quite like
Speaker 1: her now. And I was like, if I was that insufferable,
Speaker 1: why did you keep listening for the year? That's what
Speaker 1: I get. I was like, if you hate me so much,
Speaker 1: I couldn't have been that bad.
Speaker 2: We're still here to every person, I thought, And now
Speaker 2: things are pretty amazing. I'm the change has been positive.
Speaker 1: It's actually I mean, thank you for your honest feedback.
Speaker 2: Sometimes less honest is good though, bless his best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, give a scare of some love if you.
Speaker 1: If you think that now I'm tolerable, I would love
Speaker 1: to hear it. Also, the person I said in my
Speaker 1: laugh is a kooker brough.
Speaker 2: Fuck you, duh, no, fuck you, It's.
Speaker 1: A native animal. Okay.
Speaker 2: Anyways, what we're trying to get that is that we
Speaker 2: read them all anyway.
Speaker 1: Uh. And you know sometimes you know the trill, So
Speaker 1: your mum, the cooker barrow, You died your friends and
Speaker 1: the dog and just shed love because