WEBVTT - The Question You Need To Ask On A Date 👫 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:03.080 The Flex and Rooms Daily Podcast. 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:07.160 Listen here. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:10.760 Oh if there's one thing about flex mummy, Yeah, there 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:11.360 is no one thing. 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:14.880 There's multiple things or so many things. Let's still quick check. 0:00:14.920 --> 0:00:17.640 S wearing white crocs, more of an understated croc with 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:20.680 some letters. What does it say spooky with seventy seven? 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:26.000 Yeah? What's seventy seven? You don't know? Nope, I'm sor rights. 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:29.880 Wearing jeans a wide leg wash gene option and a 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:33.440 pink top with Jordan on it and some not purple 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:34.800 oh jays pink. 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:38.280 Yeah. Anyway, today's podcast we're talking about dreams. 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:40.120 We're talking about dating. We're talking about it. Am I 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:42.639 the arseholes sent in by a girl. It's about her 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:45.600 sister and Christmas or a woman. Actually I think she's 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:49.639 of age. Anyway, Friday things, let's get to it. 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:51.440 Fleck and Frooms. 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:53.520 Here is a very helpful dating sit for you, because 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:56.000 I know you need it, not you in particular, for me, 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:57.080 but anybody listening. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:59.120 It's a jungle out there. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:03.080 The story is I've heard I'm personally scared as to me, 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:05.720 I'm saving myself for a vampire. But let's not get 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:08.480 into that right now. Here's a question you have to 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.440 have to have to ask on a date. Ask the 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:16.080 person tell me about your best friend and what you 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:16.840 love about them. 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:17.600 Pause. 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.600 I didn't make this question up, Contrary to probably believe, 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:24.200 I got it from this TikTok from the user at 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:26.559 least Warren listen to her take. 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:28.560 Tell me about your best friend, what do you love 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:30.760 about them? It doesn't matter who their best friend is. 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:33.760 It could be their mom, their brother, their coworker, their roommate, 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:35.520 they're a friend from high school that they haven't seen 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:36.000 in a while. 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:37.840 It doesn't matter who it is. 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.360 But if they can't keep a long lasting friendship or 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:42.480 make a good friend out of somebody that they love, 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:45.480 that's a problem. If they can't describe that person lovingly, 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:49.080 either like they keep good friends with bad company, or 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:51.600 they're just really bad at appreciating a person who they 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:54.480 ought to love most and have an easy time describing 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.880 their positive attributes, that's a problem. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:58.640 Well you like that, I do? 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:02.760 We use it? Yep? No, you won't. Well do you 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:06.440 asking a day? I'm intrigued. He's just doing bits. Back 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:15.040 to the class. Your favorite color? What's your favorite movies? 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:18.160 I definitely don't ask about movies or music or dislikes. 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:20.120 I don't care. Yeah, I want to know about your 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:20.800 personal life. 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:23.480 So or do the family, the dogs, the pets, the job, 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.160 anything about tastes. I can see it from the class. 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.160 Don't open them seeing what I need to see and 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:30.720 I like it. 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:35.079 So once you've gone through, you know their their government ID, 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:36.920 then what are you asking? 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:38.960 I guess I'd want to know about the friends, but 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:40.519 I'd be scared of what I'm going to find out 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.639 if someone, if someone you were dating, had hit friends. 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:47.840 Would that affect you? I think we all have ship friends. 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:48.520 There we go. 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:50.760 How would you describe your best friend? I'm not getting 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:55.720 into that right now. Flex and I had my first 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:58.400 dinner party the other day. It looked really really good. 0:02:58.520 --> 0:02:59.760 Did you put it on Instagram? 0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:00.120 Oh? 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.760 I haven't yet. I haven't debuted it yet, but I will. 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:03.480 I will. 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:06.239 I'm trying to do this thing where I don't Instagram 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:07.239 in real time. 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:08.080 If I don't have. 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:12.000 To work, fine, but personal occasions, just get the content, 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:13.400 put it up. When you got a moment you know 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.480 what I'm saying. And people were like, what are you 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.079 gonna cook? I said, what are you talking about? 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:19.800 What I did? I caught up? 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.280 Mateo double bay, I said, babes are putting in an 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.480 order and I'm a VIP there, I'm a VIP get 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.400 discounts and everything. I said, I put a discounts. Babes, 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:29.760 Come on, I told you when I get outside. When 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:33.560 socialight Eric began, We're not playing. We're not playing. I'm 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:34.440 making connections. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:35.720 Yeah, how are you going? 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:36.320 Yeah? 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:36.920 Tell the chef. 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.040 It was amazing anyway, So the dinner was great, but 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.800 what happened was because there was people going. Me and 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.480 my three best friends and like we're coming from different locations. 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:48.119 I was like trying to time the food with them 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:51.360 coming right, and my other best friend was like, why 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:52.080 are you rushing them? 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.040 You know you can just put it in the oven. 0:03:54.120 --> 0:04:00.040 I was like, babes, don't use those appliances decoration purpose only, please. 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:01.680 I kind of wafting, wafting, wafting. 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:04.640 Wait wait wait, there's four of you. Yeah, and you 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:08.640 didn't cook correct? Okay, thank your honor another for the questions. 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:12.880 You couldn't You could have made your own madio pasta mateo. 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.720 I could, but I'm not. The dinner party is not 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:17.080 When I learned to cook a. 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:19.800 Meal, you know what, Bring me over next time I'm 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:20.719 not going to join the party. 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:22.400 I'm going to be the shoesh No, there will be 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:24.520 an extended dinner party. Don't get it. I know you're 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:25.320 a little bit upset. 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:28.080 It was just in the circle this time. No, you 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:29.599 did say your dinner party is coming. 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:31.919 Do not stress. Don't try and whizzy your way in 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.279 off round a two in the kitchen. 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:38.400 Literally, I just I would love took in front of 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:39.360 you to impress you. 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:41.040 Oh, took it in front of me. I do have 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:44.200 a really great kitchen cooking. I do a great huge island. 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.520 See I need something little three by one. 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:51.039 I'm working on a granite kitchen bench that's rounded off. 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:54.800 That's from the nineties. I'm so sorry. I am hey, 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.120 but I got this really great DM from someone. At 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:58.440 first I thought they were just doing, you know, a 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:00.400 little bit of a joky joking joke. But I thought, no, 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:02.600 let me take you seriously, because you would want that 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:06.120 from me. They said, hello, dilemma theme for the party. 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.280 So last night I had a dream, and in it, 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:12.880 my boyfriend just did something weird, like not immoral, not bad, 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:16.320 just like weird, so weird that if he did it 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:18.640 in real life, I'd be like mmm, rubbing me the 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:19.080 wrong way. 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:21.119 You make me feel uncomfortable, you know what I'm saying? 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.560 And now I can't disassociate him with the thing he 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:25.480 did in my dream. 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:28.120 Oh no, is it bad? Is it normal? 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:32.040 Am I unlocking a secret understanding about him? Or am 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:33.600 I just being stupid? Do you know what I'm saying? 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:33.680 Like? 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:35.800 Is it her intuition being like babes, let me paint 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:39.200 the picture clearly for you in this subconscious place, or 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:41.320 is she just freaking out for no reason? She's trying 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.440 to figure out if dreams are unlocking stories that are important, 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:46.520 like you know, picking inside the soul, or if we 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:49.160 just forget about them. The thing that happened in the dream, 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:50.920 by the way, was that he said he was going 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:54.320 to get lunch, but instead paid an extortionate amount for 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.480 a place you stay inside all day and have all 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.960 three meals provided. But he went alone and didn't tell 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.880 me they're gonna get lunch, went to a bed and breakfast. 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:05.000 He's having a lot some alone time. Literally, do you 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:05.760 do that for me? 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.160 Do you have any dreams where you're like, hmm, this 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:10.440 is robbing me the wrong way. I don't know if 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:11.400 I can trust them anymore. 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.039 So I had a dream I was going to the 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:15.640 movies to see an action movie. I think Mission Impossible. 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:19.680 This was really vivid. And then I'm sitting down and 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:21.880 there's stores above us because we're in an old theater, 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:26.000 and I'm with Millie Sykes, who's this stylist. 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.560 So random that I'm with her in this theater that random. 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:30.719 We've all been together before, yeah, but I think I 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:32.680 was in my family so so she had no business means. 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.560 And the people above us are pissing on our backs, 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:39.240 which this is a traumatic experience and experience at the 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.280 Bloody Cricket in Melbourne fifteen years ago. 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:44.360 It really happened the first footy. 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:47.200 Game I ever went to. I was thirteen and they 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:53.000 threw piss on us. And I've been back the same team. No, 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.600 like the people above us in the stands above. 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:58.200 Us, but you're on the same team. Yeah, two knows. 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.680 They were just fairing American vibes. Yeah. 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:05.719 So in the dream, someone's like pissing on our backs. 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:08.160 I get over it as I say I am one 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:11.800 to erupt. I grab a plastic gun out of my 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:15.240 pocket and I go to shoot the guy that's doing it. 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:16.760 Everything erupts. 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:21.720 I'm getting arrested, and Millie Sykes gets PTSD from it 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.920 and can never work again. So what happens My punishment 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:27.160 is paying for her bills for. 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:29.160 The rest of your life. Yeah. So I have really 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:29.920 scary any day. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:33.800 Yeah, but I always have dreams that my mum has 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:37.160 betrayed me. Every single time my mum is in my dream, 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:40.120 She's betraying me and I'm getting angry reader. Whoa, She's 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:42.960 never once done anything. It's so weird, can we in 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:43.360 a dream? 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.760 Extraly? I'm suspicious of her, like, when's the shoe gonna rap? Babe? 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:50.360 Because I know you. I've seen the real you. What 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:52.400 is that though? What do you think that is super scary? 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:53.240 I don't know. 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.200 I think dreams are really important. I'm an avid dreamer. 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.600 I used to write them down a lot, but then 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:03.120 I found out was getting too I was relying too 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:06.000 much on my recall and not looking at broader themes. 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.800 How I'm feeling things like that that are actually helping 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.960 me interpret them broadly. 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:11.880 You know. 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:17.440 I that's funny. When my mom was in my dreams 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.440 when I was younger, not necessarily when I'm older. 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:23.200 It was always my family being really embarrassed with me. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.320 Like I would go into the city and be like, 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.480 oh my god, like, what are you guys doing here? 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:31.120 They'd be like oh and then like inch away from me, 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:36.760 like oh with me because my family loves me, So 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.400 I was like, what are we doing? This is a bit, 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.520 This is a bit, and my family does do bits, 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:42.720 like every birthday I had when I was at my 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.480 family home, they'd pretend they'd forget about my birthday. 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:47.679 Every year, same same joke. 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:50.560 Oh, like what what and then they're like, oh, you know, 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.480 like sorry, we forgot and then they give me my 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:54.839 gift to be like a gift wrap in a gift 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.599 wrap in a gift type thing. It's just we've done it, 0:08:58.080 --> 0:08:59.520 you know, but it's sweet. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:03.000 I'm like, damn, what is that about? Very interesting? 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:06.440 Can you get mad at people who do cook things 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:06.920 in your dream? 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:07.120 Look? 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.320 I definitely bookmarket a lot, because I've had some wild dreams. 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:13.679 Like once, oh do I hear it? Yeah? Of course. 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:15.920 A friend of mine was friends with a bunch of 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:18.160 these guys and they were kind of like rock metal, 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:24.920 long hair yar dog, And one day she was asleep 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.400 and she had this dream that one of the guys 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:29.400 was above her in the bed and his hair was 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:32.280 dangling on her no, like above her body, and she 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:34.280 woke up and had sleep paralysis and was like, woa, 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:37.920 what the hell hair on her face? Next day he 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.280 passed away. He'd passed away that night, and I got 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:46.040 she was in my body, babes. Dreams are so wild. 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:49.360 I hate dreams. No, I don't think about them. It 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:52.000 freaks me out. We see stuff like that happens. 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:53.800 What is that? Well, that's the thing. 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:55.920 But I think we have start cataloging and paying attention 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:59.200 because the more we act like it's not important, we 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:00.920 can't connect the do to what it's meant to mean. 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.480 Why a scientist like, eh, we don't know why your dream. 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.000 Don't worry about it. Don't say that. Don't say that. 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:08.120 I know you've been exploring the same waters for the 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:10.440 last three thousand years, and we're not going to worry 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:11.080 about dreams. 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:14.720 You know something, so pull up. I think it's good 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:15.959 for knowing what you actually want. 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:18.960 If you have, like a recurring dream that you're naked, 0:10:19.040 --> 0:10:21.800 then maybe you're worried about her talk. 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:28.480 My recurring dream is the apocalypse, sish, the world flooding. 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:30.920 Www, Dot be concerned dot com dot au. 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:33.760 Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.839 This is Flex and Frooms on kDa Flex. 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:40.920 I've got a moral dilemma for you. As always, we 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:42.599 love these on the Flex and Frim Show. If you 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:44.160 want to keep listening to our show, you can find 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:46.600 it wherever you get your podcasts. But for now, you're 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:49.080 at the radio version three to four pm on CADA 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:51.000 ninety six point one if you're listening in the car. 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.240 This is from a woman in my Instagram DMS. I 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:57.120 won't tell her name, but here it is sign there'll 0:10:57.120 --> 0:10:59.120 be a way to come it out. Last Christmas, my 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.520 older sister and I had a fight because I made 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:04.960 an apple pie very compelling start. I'm not sure what 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:07.080 sparked her to be a grinch on Christmas, but she 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:10.320 was really awful. My whole family was like, lol, chill 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:13.800 t f sis. But then she went on to say, 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.080 my boyfriend and I didn't do anything to help organize 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.360 Christmas when we were there on Christmas Eve cleaning out 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.760 the backyard barbecue area and setting up misters for everyone. 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:25.760 Misters maybe a liven queenslide. They get like mists because 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:30.240 it's hot outside. Oh, okay, you wouldn't understand. No. Months 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:32.600 past and I let it go. I distanced myself and 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:33.520 set a new boundary. 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:34.160 Love that for you. 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:36.880 She picks up on my distance, note that I was 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.960 never mean, and sent me a very passive aggressive text 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:44.959 in quotation why are you surly with me again? 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:46.400 Very old worldie. 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.320 I answered that I wasn't going to respond and that 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.000 I was distancing myself to conserve my energy. She left 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:55.600 my message on red Ooh months past and she's forgotten 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:57.520 the ordeal and is acting like we are best buds. 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:00.239 As is wont to do with sicily things. 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.120 I organize a family dinner in the city, convenient for her, 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.760 at a really booshey restaurant four weeks in advance. 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:06.800 It's giving ontracop. 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:09.160 I called her the day before to confirm numbers and 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:12.400 she said, yep, I'm coming. Two hours before the event, 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:14.640 she calls and says I'm too hungover. 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:15.439 I can't come. 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:17.959 I calmly reacted, saying it was okay. Two weeks later, 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.040 I text her saying I was disappointed she didn't come, 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:22.040 because if I had done the same, she would have 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:22.440 been mad. 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:26.880 Oh the calm react, and then the detonator two weeks. 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:32.560 She said, actually, if she didn't come, she would whoop 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:35.360 my ass. Oh okay, haven't heard that expression in a while. 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:38.760 She got really angry and completely disregarded my feelings. Now 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:41.640 two months later, she's acting like nothing happened, and he's 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:42.959 invited me to a Christmas party. 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:44.720 Am I the asshole if I don't go? 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:45.439 Oh? 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:46.240 It's like that. 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.640 So the whole year of pass has been months of 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.400 passive aggressive backs and forwards. 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.400 She wants to know this Christmas, is she turning a leaf. 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:57.320 Or was she rig wrinch of high Sicily drama is 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:58.199 very confusing to me. 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:01.240 I don't have any sisters. I'm the younger of three. 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:05.280 My older brothers are older brothers, and they're older brothers. 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:07.160 You know what I'm saying. So my beef was with 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:08.600 me and me my whole childhood. 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:12.000 I don't understand the dynamics because as I'm listening, I'm like, 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.600 you just let this stuff go, like you just have 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:16.520 a fight and you get over it. Because there's nothing 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:22.400 more disingenuine than trying to do healthy relationships with your siblings. Yeah, 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.960 open communication with a sibling, Get about it, forget about it. 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:29.000 You're stressing yourself out for no reason. Let it go. 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:32.920 In this instance, though, I always find when you're trying 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:34.840 to figure out if it's worth it or not to 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.360 be petty, is can you handle the smoke? Because with 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:40.800 pettiness comes escalation, and already it seems like you're kind 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.319 of shaky about the back and forth. I don't know 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:44.760 if you can handle the smoke. If this way to 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:48.080 escalate further, so should she go if she can handle it, Like, 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:50.720 if you can go and be cordial, go, If you 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:53.360 can't go and you can't be cordial, then don't go. 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.640 But I think either way you put it, you have 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:58.160 to kind of, I hate to say it, be the 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.839 bigger person if you're trying to resolve anything, If you're 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:05.840 happy to keep the relationship tense and terse, then save 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:07.400 yourself the trip and the gift. 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:09.880 I will say, in this economy, saving the gift is 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:11.840 a really good idea because if you go and your 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:13.840 border a gift and she sings you again, you're gonna 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:15.199 feel this on many levels. 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:16.240 Yeah, inflation is real. 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:20.920 However, you must make amends with your siblings. I had 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:25.160 twenty seven years. Sorry, I had twenty three years not 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.520 getting along with the sibiling. Then something clicked this year 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:29.920 and I've never turned back. My life is amazing now 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.000 that I don't fight with my sister. Yeah, but you've 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:33.160 done it for nine months. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:38.480 Come on, don't jink. So we're talking about manifest you're 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.280 manifested a fight. Just stop it. 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:44.640 You tell me I manifest bad things. You're manifesting a 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:48.600 family rifts. When this falls down, I'm calling you. I'm 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:51.520 sending you an invoice for psychology sessions because I'm gonna 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:51.960 lose it. 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:56.160 I agree it's never good to maintain grudges or rifts 0:14:56.240 --> 0:15:00.440 or whatever, but I think relationships become what they were 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:04.720 always going to be, the pleasantries. Once the pleasantries go 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:07.760 away and the so and so and the boundaries aren't 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:10.760 established and whatever, what you're left with is what you're 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.600 left with. And in order to repair it, it requires intentional, 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:18.120 positive effort from both parties at the same time, working 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.800 towards a shared goal. If you're pissed off at her 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.600 and she doesn't know, and then you're like, should I 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.400 go or not go because she's petty, and then you 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.440 pretend you're call but then two week claring you blocked her, 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:29.240 you're already not on the same page, and everything feels 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:31.840 like a tip for tap. So unless you can go 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:36.840 into this incident being like, I'm not looking for bids, 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.680 I'm not looking for warfare, I'm looking to resolve this 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:43.240 by any means necessary, then you're already for a resolution. 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.240 One person's going to make the positive change first, and 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.320 if it doesn't work out, try it again. 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:50.320 I think both people need to be committed to positive 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.000 change at the same time they've. 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:52.560 Already tried it. 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:55.240 One person invited someone to a dinner, the other person 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.400 canceled two hours before. One person's inviting you to the 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:01.160 Christmas dinner. This person's like, I'm assaulted from last time. 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.000 You're both gonna be like, Okay, what's going on, what's 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.480 going on? We're gonna fix this or do we just 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.600 need to leave it for a sec. I often find that, 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.200 like in this instance, what they need I think is 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:15.040 just time, time apart, get over it yourself, figure it 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.280 out for yourself, and then when you come back, be like, Okay, 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:18.640 that was annoying, Let's. 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.560 Not do that. That wasn't hot or sexy of us, 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:24.560 was it? No, it was not. We can repair and rebuild, Yeah, 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:24.880 we can. 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.040 Repair and rebuild when we both really want it. Now 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:30.280 it feels like one person's interested in, like, well, I'll 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:32.120 only go this and so and so. 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:33.760 Just it feels like too much. 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.280 This is flex and frooms. 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:37.920 Do you know? 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.640 I keep making ship captain references because last night I 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:43.720 had this kooky dream. 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:45.160 I was on a super yacht but the. 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.920 Inside felt like a train carriage. Do with that what 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:48.280 you will. 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:51.200 And something happened. I don't know what it was. 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.600 There was a confrontation, like somebody thought that somebody else 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:57.320 stole somebody's suitcase, and I was giggling at the back, 0:16:57.400 --> 0:16:59.640 being like this is so ridiculous, and then they turned 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:00.080 on me. 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.240 Yeah, and I was like I thought I thought. I 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:03.000 thought it was cool. 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:06.000 A bunch of friends. Anyway, Then the girl who got 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:09.920 her suitcase stolen jumped off the yacht. And then when 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.200 she jumps off, we go look over the railing. There's 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:17.080 like a lockness monster, like a megladon type thing. I'm like, whoa, 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:20.480 she got eaten. Whirlpool starts happening, but it's not. It's 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:24.480 not a nightmare yet because it's still daytime and daytime anyway. 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.840 You know what, let's not get into it. I'm gonna 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:30.679