Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Unput.
Speaker 1: I look, it's been a little while since I've been
Speaker 1: on the podcast, and we've just recorded a really hot
Speaker 1: and stellar intro. I mean we both were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that inture was great, and then I realized I've forgotten
Speaker 1: to put the USB into the fucking recorder machine. No,
Speaker 1: I just want to set the tone a little bit
Speaker 1: more than that. Laura, we have had a bloody long day.
Speaker 1: It is like nine o'clock at night and we're just
Speaker 1: starting this record. We've been recording all day. We've done
Speaker 1: some back to back interviews as great as coming anyway,
Speaker 1: we are tired, af we get in there now, we're like,
Speaker 1: let's pick up the energy. Come on, let's bring it.
Speaker 1: Let's bring it, and we just probably the best intro
Speaker 1: we've ever done, Like I was ever and not exaggerating, guys, No,
Speaker 1: it was. We will never drop it. It was so good.
Speaker 1: And then we looked down and Laura's like, duper drip.
Speaker 1: She just like, why is the thing fushy? And I
Speaker 1: was like, that's because, as the big exit says, you
Speaker 1: haven't put the record card in anyway, We're gonna start again. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm welcome back to another episode of Life un Cut.
Speaker 1: It's so great to be here, to be healthy and
Speaker 1: to be in front of a microphone again, and for
Speaker 1: me to not be mattie Ja that's also great. How
Speaker 1: do you feel about that? Do you just feel like
Speaker 1: a Matt cheated on you? B you had like hectic
Speaker 1: fomo and you're like, I can never be sick again. Well, look,
Speaker 1: for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about. Last episode,
Speaker 1: I have been the last week and a half, I
Speaker 1: have had the most killer flu from hell, and so
Speaker 1: Matt had to step in and be me basically on
Speaker 1: the last episode, which was very strange for multiple different reasons.
Speaker 1: One of them because before Britt and Matt actually started recording.
Speaker 1: So I'll explain this setup to you. So Prit comes
Speaker 1: over to our lounge room. I'm sitting on the lounge
Speaker 1: in like a little sick cocoon in the corner, and
Speaker 1: the two of them set up on our dining room
Speaker 1: table to record, and then they start making jokes about
Speaker 1: how it's like I'm watching them have sex, like I'm
Speaker 1: watching them make a podcast together, and I'm that weird
Speaker 1: in the relationships. I sort of like we were cheating
Speaker 1: a little bit. Who wants to watch their partner have
Speaker 1: sex with their friend? And I was like, guys, this
Speaker 1: has taken a very weird turn. I don't feel well.
Speaker 1: I'm not okay with this conversation. Let's bring it back
Speaker 1: to the podcast just a little bit. It was like
Speaker 1: Bride's Maids, you know where she's shitting in the street.
Speaker 1: She's like, don't look at me. I was like, Laura,
Speaker 1: stop looking at me. I was like, you look at me.
Speaker 1: You know what a dog does a pooh and they
Speaker 1: lock eye contact with you. That's what I felt like
Speaker 1: you were doing because you were just like I cycle
Speaker 1: hawk at me the whole record. The thing that was
Speaker 1: so hard for me was that the whole time that
Speaker 1: they were talking, I just wanted to be a part
Speaker 1: of it. So every time they would say something or
Speaker 1: there would be some advice, I was like, oh, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: how amo you add this? I have saved us up
Speaker 1: and accidentally unfiltered story which I'm gonna share with you
Speaker 1: because basically on the last episode, Britt was talking about
Speaker 1: how her tampon box floated down the street and how
Speaker 1: it very precariously ended up right next to a very
Speaker 1: hot guy. Yeah, it was my pick up line. Didn't work. Failed,
Speaker 1: miserably embarrassing situation, you know, not ideal, but also very
Speaker 1: funny for everybody listening. That literally sparked in me and
Speaker 1: accidentally unfiltered. That happened to me so many years ago
Speaker 1: that I've suppressed in the deep dark corners of my
Speaker 1: heart and please let me tell my story. And we're like, no,
Speaker 1: this is not your turn, Laura. I like, go back
Speaker 1: to your couch, Laura, you're den okay. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you this story. So I was at a nightclub
Speaker 1: many many moons ago, and there was this guy there
Speaker 1: who I had had the biggest crush on, like a
Speaker 1: real schoolgirl crush literally because I'd had a crush on
Speaker 1: him since I was in school and like he was
Speaker 1: from Wollongong, we grew up together. I was I'm sorry
Speaker 1: you said that, Like that was supposed to be romantic.
Speaker 1: He was from wo Like, oh my god, he's from
Speaker 1: the go Why didn't you lock him down? It was
Speaker 1: the pity of my romance at the time. So I
Speaker 1: really had a massive crush on this guy. And I
Speaker 1: was at you know, the local nightclub called the glasshouse,
Speaker 1: and I was very drunk. Guys, just to set the scene.
Speaker 1: I was very very drunk, and he came up to
Speaker 1: me and I was like, Oh my god, this is it.
Speaker 1: It's gonna happen. Holy shit, this is my moment. This
Speaker 1: is my moment. So We're standing there and we're chatting,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is going really well. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know him a bit drunk, but I think I'm
Speaker 1: holding it together. And then I reach into my handbag
Speaker 1: whilst I'm locking eyes with him and swaying side to
Speaker 1: side and pull out my chapstick, my lip gloss, and
Speaker 1: I stand there holding my lip gloss about ten centimeters
Speaker 1: from my lips whilst I try and take the top
Speaker 1: of it. So I'm standing there chatting, trying to like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is the top not coming off? I
Speaker 1: am drunk, anyway, keep the eye contact. He then looks
Speaker 1: at me and goes, what are you trying to do
Speaker 1: with you? Tampon it? Me? I actually pitching you then
Speaker 1: trying to like seductively put it onto your lips like
Speaker 1: whilst locking eyes with him. That would have made my day.
Speaker 1: It was very very close. Needless to say, it just
Speaker 1: never worked out. With that guy. This story is better
Speaker 1: and better. Did you hook up with him? No? Maybe?
Speaker 1: God who knows, you don't remember? I was very memorable.
Speaker 1: But also, guys, I just want to say, like to
Speaker 1: the episode that Britain Matt did, it was a great episode.
Speaker 1: We've had so many people write in on the Facebook
Speaker 1: group and on Instagram also, people felt the need to
Speaker 1: direct message me to tell me how great they thought
Speaker 1: that episode was, like ouch, and how much they loved
Speaker 1: having Matt on the pod. So we may have him
Speaker 1: on again in the future. However, I do just want
Speaker 1: to point out one thing. So after you left last night,
Speaker 1: Britt and all of Matt's wise wisdom had been shared,
Speaker 1: something did happen recently? Like, obviously I've been sick. Matt
Speaker 1: has been running back and forth to the Chemist every day,
Speaker 1: and there's like lots of things that you can and
Speaker 1: can't take when you're pregnant, right, So there's been lots
Speaker 1: of Like I think one of the reasons why it's
Speaker 1: taking me so long to get over this sickness is because,
Speaker 1: like I literally can't take anything from the Chemist that's
Speaker 1: got anything active in it that actually works. I have
Speaker 1: to just ride it out, just ride it out. Anyway,
Speaker 1: eventually they put me on any biotics. So I've been
Speaker 1: on anybodotics the last couple of days. And Matt makes
Speaker 1: his daily little venture into the pharmacist this one day
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, you know, well, my fiance she's
Speaker 1: on antibiotics, Like, you know, what else should I take?
Speaker 1: What should she take? And the pharmacist says, oh, like,
Speaker 1: you should take some probiotic because, like, as all women know,
Speaker 1: if you are on any biotics, then there's probably a
Speaker 1: really great chance that you're gonna get an awesome thing
Speaker 1: called thrush. And like, every single time I'm on any biotics,
Speaker 1: like it always happens, so I just like get it.
Speaker 1: I was like, cool, great, yes, probiotics awesome. So anyway,
Speaker 1: Matt's been taking the probiotics every day, morning and night.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's so weird for him because he's
Speaker 1: not someone who takes any sort of vitamins or anything
Speaker 1: like that. And so I said to him last night,
Speaker 1: just after you'd left, Britt, babe, what is that made
Speaker 1: you want to take probiotics? And he was like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get fucking sick, do I? But you, like,
Speaker 1: what for your gut health all and I was like,
Speaker 1: do you know what probiotics are for? And he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get the flu. And I was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, you just gave thousands of women your wisdom
Speaker 1: and advice. And no. I was like, honey, read the
Speaker 1: back of the bottle and on the back it's like,
Speaker 1: can help alleviate symptoms of irritable boo gut problems thrush.
Speaker 1: And I was like, this was for me, this wasn't
Speaker 1: for you, Dumbling. So what's happened is obviously the chemist
Speaker 1: has gone, yes, take this in terms of take this physically,
Speaker 1: take this home to your wife because she's on anyway,
Speaker 1: He's been like, oh, I should definitely take that so
Speaker 1: I don't get the flu or man thrush, which is
Speaker 1: I don't think he's a thing. I was like, here
Speaker 1: are my pregnancy supplements, Matt, would you like to take some?
Speaker 1: Folly also, So this this is the man that gave
Speaker 1: you all that wise advice this week. Love that I
Speaker 1: felt like I needed to cut him back down. I
Speaker 1: think you've just done that, just in case you all
Speaker 1: thought he was going to start making a very regular appearance. No,
Speaker 1: you're stuck with me. I'm back. Just try and get
Speaker 1: a one up on me again. Man, dare you no? Actually,
Speaker 1: he messaged me today, Hey buddy, just checking in. Had
Speaker 1: some great response from the podcast episode. I think we
Speaker 1: give the people what they want. I think we do
Speaker 1: another episode. I'm thinking maybe we include a little bit
Speaker 1: more football and fishing. Though, what are your thoughts? And
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I was like, I'm not even
Speaker 1: blind you No. I also like that he's messaging you
Speaker 1: this and I don't even know about it, trying to
Speaker 1: muscle his way in on the podcast fully, He's like,
Speaker 1: do you need a new business partner? Anyway, Guys, we
Speaker 1: have such a great episode for you today. We're sorry
Speaker 1: that we did have to do the switcheroo on you
Speaker 1: and do ask guncut on Tuesday. But we are going
Speaker 1: to be talking about timelines and the social stigma that
Speaker 1: is attached to like you know, when do we get married,
Speaker 1: when do we have babies? Why is it that we
Speaker 1: feel so much pressure to achieve certain things by a
Speaker 1: certain point in our lives. And also we're gonna unpack
Speaker 1: like what is it if you're a little bit further
Speaker 1: down the track in your life, say in your thirties,
Speaker 1: and you decide that you want to have a big
Speaker 1: career change, how do you go about that? Like, what
Speaker 1: are our thoughts and advice on it? Because both Brita
Speaker 1: and I have done that. Essentially, we just thought we'd
Speaker 1: have a conversation around why is it the timelines still
Speaker 1: seem like there's something that's so important. But before we
Speaker 1: do that, last week on the episode, guys, we did
Speaker 1: this segment at the start where we reached out to
Speaker 1: you and we wanted to know your best funniest, most
Speaker 1: awkward and cringe worthy and lollworthy loller coaster. Some may
Speaker 1: say first, some might not say that, some would prefer
Speaker 1: that you never say that. Again, I haven't dropped that
Speaker 1: in a while. It's been the biggest Lola Derby of
Speaker 1: a dating story how that you have. But we did
Speaker 1: speak about all these funny, awkward first date Bumble stories
Speaker 1: last week and there were some funny ones and Laura
Speaker 1: and I had a field day reading them all. But
Speaker 1: this week we're doing something a little bit different. We
Speaker 1: are so stoked we bring you today's episode in collaboration
Speaker 1: with our really good friends over at Bumble, and today
Speaker 1: we go when we're bringing you some really feel good
Speaker 1: and happy online dating success stories, because whilst it is
Speaker 1: so amazing to laugh at everyone else's misfortune and everyone
Speaker 1: has these awkward first dates, it's really important to know
Speaker 1: that there is actually a lot of success that comes
Speaker 1: from online dating. I've had success from it, You've I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not married, I've had success in other ways.
Speaker 1: Maybe I just need tell you, like, how about we
Speaker 1: define what success is? Well, yes, but a lot of
Speaker 1: people have success. And the thing we want to really
Speaker 1: sort of stipulate in this conversation is what success means
Speaker 1: to different people, because success in love, success in dating
Speaker 1: is different from many many people. So we ask you, guys,
Speaker 1: what are your bumble success stories? And we're going to
Speaker 1: read a few out. We did put a call out
Speaker 1: as well up on the Facebook page, and I was
Speaker 1: just absolutely amazed. We had one hundred and eighty six
Speaker 1: and like it's growing every day of people from the
Speaker 1: community writing about their different online dating success stories, and
Speaker 1: it was just amazing because I mean, often we tell
Speaker 1: on this podcast all of the accidentally unfilm stories. We
Speaker 1: tell all of the most embarrassing stuff, and often that
Speaker 1: doesn't always end the best way for the person in
Speaker 1: the story. And ually for us, but it's really amazing
Speaker 1: to kind of sit back and sometimes go like wow,
Speaker 1: Like obviously for so many people it is a platform
Speaker 1: that works. And I think that sometimes online dating gets
Speaker 1: such a bad rap because we're so quick to share
Speaker 1: all of our disaster dating stories and not really share
Speaker 1: all of the beautiful, wonderful success stories that come out
Speaker 1: of it as well. We've picked out a couple that
Speaker 1: we thought would be really nice to share with you.
Speaker 1: I just alone on my Instagram call out had hundreds
Speaker 1: of people writing in and it was I had to
Speaker 1: genuinely had a smile on my face reading the whole thing.
Speaker 1: And I also I think now with twenty twenty and
Speaker 1: the way the world is, there has never been more
Speaker 1: of a time to be online dating because we don't
Speaker 1: go out like we used to. The pubs and clubs
Speaker 1: aren't open like we used to. So whilst bumble and
Speaker 1: online dating has always been around, it is now so
Speaker 1: more than ever because we had so many stories of
Speaker 1: people writing in saying we got to know each other
Speaker 1: for four months before we met because of COVID, which
Speaker 1: I think is so beautiful because there's no nothing physical
Speaker 1: where you're getting to know each other. It's not just
Speaker 1: like meat and have sex. It's it's actually getting to
Speaker 1: know someone on a deeper level and having these conversations
Speaker 1: and anyway. I could go on about this forever, but
Speaker 1: let's get into the stories. I have a question for
Speaker 1: you before I read out this first one. If you
Speaker 1: went on a bumble date and the guy rocked up
Speaker 1: and he was significantly shorter than what he said he was,
Speaker 1: what would you do? Like significantly like a foot Okay,
Speaker 1: so one of my unofficial rules. It's not a rule,
Speaker 1: but it's like what I look for. I want someone
Speaker 1: to be minimum. I sounded like Boston Powers, Mmjuandamellian Dallas,
Speaker 1: minimum my height or taller. I don't want to date
Speaker 1: someone smaller because I am quite tall and I wear heels.
Speaker 1: But if they're my penguin's probably not going to be
Speaker 1: the end of the world. If I turned up and
Speaker 1: my date was shorter than me, did he live about it?
Speaker 1: What if he lied about it? I wouldn't leave. I'd
Speaker 1: go on the date with him, but I would be
Speaker 1: unimpressed that he lied for sure, because honest, he's key.
Speaker 1: So what happened? Some of this has obviously happened to
Speaker 1: some poor girl. So okay, we met four years ago
Speaker 1: online dating, and he proposed in our second anniversary I'm
Speaker 1: quite tall. So before we met I asked him how
Speaker 1: tall he was. He replied with the exact same height
Speaker 1: as me, to which I thought, great, this literally never happens.
Speaker 1: Waiting out the front of the restaurant, I see a
Speaker 1: guy walking towards me that is a good foot shorter
Speaker 1: than me. His first words to me were, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not a giraffe, but I really wanted to meet you.
Speaker 1: We joke about it all the time, and before we
Speaker 1: say our vows at our wedding, we're going to get
Speaker 1: a groomsman to run over with a step for him
Speaker 1: on No, hi really means nothing, but it's a fun
Speaker 1: joke for the two of us. And then she wrote
Speaker 1: it turns out he was in year ten when I
Speaker 1: was in year seven at the same school, and he
Speaker 1: was my color house captain, which meant he gave all
Speaker 1: of our great carnival pep talks. I don't know, that's
Speaker 1: like some weird synchron city there at the end. I
Speaker 1: think I said that right. Basically, he was a couple
Speaker 1: of years older than her in school, as well, but
Speaker 1: he was still short in school. I'm gonna guess that
Speaker 1: I had this. I had this one that I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna summarize. She's like, I don't know if this counts
Speaker 1: as Bumble success or not. She's like, I guess it does.
Speaker 1: We matched on Bumble. He was everything that she wanted.
Speaker 1: He was an absolute babe and she was obsessed. But
Speaker 1: then she'd been on a really bad date. She had
Speaker 1: a really bad day, and she cracked his ships and
Speaker 1: she deleted Bumble. She was like, I'm done, I'm done
Speaker 1: with online dating, don't do it anymore. But then she
Speaker 1: remembered how hot the guy was that she'd matched, so
Speaker 1: she went back onto Bumble, but thinking her matches would
Speaker 1: be there, but they weren't. They were all gone because
Speaker 1: it like started again. But she remembered where he worked
Speaker 1: because he had a picture of him working just like
Speaker 1: he was a barista. So she went to his cafe
Speaker 1: and many organically and tried to like meet him on them,
Speaker 1: and then they started dating, and then down the track
Speaker 1: she's like, lol, I actually met you on Bumble, like
Speaker 1: so it went right back. So she sort of storked him.
Speaker 1: So did that classify his success. I'm going to say
Speaker 1: that that's a success story except for the fact that
Speaker 1: like that is like an aid grade stalker story as well,
Speaker 1: which is so great because I feel like if you
Speaker 1: said that out loud and actually told a guy that
Speaker 1: you've done that, you would be put straight into the
Speaker 1: crazy basket. Okay, I've actually done this. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you hence why you live in the crazy basket, Brandy. Okay,
Speaker 1: you guys have probably often heard of me talk throughout
Speaker 1: the podcast. Throughout the last year. I've always spoken about
Speaker 1: this one guy where I always say he's like my
Speaker 1: best friend. I met him on Bumble probably six years ago.
Speaker 1: We spent like max five days together and that was it.
Speaker 1: He moved back to America. That was it. We've been
Speaker 1: like best friends ever since. It sounds really weird because
Speaker 1: we don't see each other. It just started to develop
Speaker 1: we will, like have this soul connection and just started
Speaker 1: to develop online. So we just stayed in contact. If
Speaker 1: you guys are thinking that this sounds strange, don't worry.
Speaker 1: Like every time Britt tries to explain it to Matt
Speaker 1: and I, we're also like, so, wait, you banged you
Speaker 1: got on super well, you still think he's the hottest
Speaker 1: guy ever. But yet then new friend zoned each other.
Speaker 1: Don't understand it, but cool. So, No, we didn't friendszone
Speaker 1: each other. If he was in my within myself, if
Speaker 1: he was here, we would have been dating. But he
Speaker 1: lived in America and he went back to America. But
Speaker 1: we were just still so obsessed with each other and
Speaker 1: we wanted to keep getting to know each other. And
Speaker 1: then it's been literally five six seven years maybe and
Speaker 1: we have seen each other a total of he came back,
Speaker 1: when saw each other for two more days. That's it.
Speaker 1: He's got a girlfriend, he's got a relation, he's in
Speaker 1: a relationship. He's really happy. He's the only person I
Speaker 1: told I was going on a bachelor Like. We trust
Speaker 1: each other. It's the weirdest relationship ever, but it's just
Speaker 1: a friendship. Anyway. I saw him on Bumble and I
Speaker 1: was like, who the hell is this guy? He was
Speaker 1: like he had the story that got me. He was
Speaker 1: like walking down a football field and he was like
Speaker 1: looking back and he had a dog. He had no
Speaker 1: shirt on and he had this really cute dog. And
Speaker 1: I was like signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours. We didn't match.
Speaker 1: I like to think how I just wasn't in his radius.
Speaker 1: But same thing as changing Tatum. Again, we didn't match,
Speaker 1: but he had linked these he had linked, not linked,
Speaker 1: but he had pictures that you can see where a
Speaker 1: tag is, and I could find I did. I went stalking,
Speaker 1: all right. I stalked and found some photos on on
Speaker 1: Instagram or on his Facebook. It wasn't even Instagram, it
Speaker 1: was Facebook. You're getting crazy by the second. So I
Speaker 1: found him on Facebook and I DMed him and said,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, this is something I remember what I said.
Speaker 1: And I said, hey, this is not something I ever
Speaker 1: thought i'd say. But I saw you on Bumble. We
Speaker 1: didn't match, so I found you. My wow. Then he
Speaker 1: wrote back straight away and he's because you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so yolo. I'm like, what have I
Speaker 1: got to lose my dignity besides respect and dignity? He
Speaker 1: wrote back straight away and he's like, I definitely did
Speaker 1: not see you on Bumble or I would have swiped right.
Speaker 1: And we got chatting and then literally we hooked up
Speaker 1: for a week straight and it was incredible. And then
Speaker 1: six seven years later, we're still like the best of friends.
Speaker 1: So I think that is in its own. We're not married, No,
Speaker 1: we're not together. No, but it's a success story because
Speaker 1: I developed a great friendship from it, and to me
Speaker 1: this is still defined as a type of bumble success story.
Speaker 1: But also I think that, like one, this reinforces that
Speaker 1: semi stalker behavior is fine. Can I can be a
Speaker 1: little bit cute, you're a bit crazy, Like that's kind
Speaker 1: of cute too, don't worry. Depends what level you're at,
Speaker 1: like mine was pretty low keys, is yours is next level?
Speaker 1: Mine's low key level. Like what if you like show
Speaker 1: up at his work and then about showing up in
Speaker 1: his house, That says, no, that's a stalker. But this girl,
Speaker 1: all she did was knew she knew where he worked,
Speaker 1: so she just went and made it happen naturally. I
Speaker 1: think that was cute. I have a very similar story.
Speaker 1: So one of my girlfriends actually, so she was online
Speaker 1: dating and she had matched with this guy who she
Speaker 1: really liked and she thought he was a total hottie.
Speaker 1: And then I don't know how she did it, but
Speaker 1: she accidentally unmatched him, like whether she had her phone
Speaker 1: unlocked and then she fumbled around and she unmatched him.
Speaker 1: But he didn't have his Instagram linked and they had
Speaker 1: only been chatting that day, so they hadn't really gotten
Speaker 1: to the point where they had exchanged anything more than
Speaker 1: just the pleasantries of like, you know, initial like oh
Speaker 1: you look like a bit of all right anyway, then
Speaker 1: she uninstalls Bumble and spends the next three days swining
Speaker 1: the whole entire area, the whole of Sydney, all of Sydney,
Speaker 1: until she rematched with him and then dated him for
Speaker 1: six months. And that is some dedication to the cause,
Speaker 1: you see. That's not I respect that, that's not no,
Speaker 1: I respect hard work and dedication, and that's what she did.
Speaker 1: Like maybe she had to go on for a premium subscription.
Speaker 1: I mean, I talk about my sister Sherry all the time.
Speaker 1: She's five and a half years deep into her relationship
Speaker 1: with her Scottish guide that we met when traveling, and
Speaker 1: that was online. They're gonna get married, they're gonna be
Speaker 1: happily of after he lives here in Australia. And that
Speaker 1: was literally just from online dating. And so I've seen
Speaker 1: firsthand a that there are good people on there and
Speaker 1: b that people do get their happy endings. Well. One
Speaker 1: of the things that I think as well which I
Speaker 1: find really interesting, is like we put so much pressure
Speaker 1: on relationships being successes only if they work out right,
Speaker 1: Like we're like, well that was a failure because we're
Speaker 1: not together anymore, like fuck another one bites the dust
Speaker 1: kind of thing. And there's this mentality towards dating. If
Speaker 1: they're not the one, then it's a failure. One thing
Speaker 1: that I've learned, especially from during this podcast and something
Speaker 1: that I really really believe in now, it's like what
Speaker 1: real friendships are. Thanks I look back on all of
Speaker 1: my dating experiences, like every single guy that I dated
Speaker 1: from online, every single guy that I met in the
Speaker 1: wild and dated. I look back on those experiences and
Speaker 1: think that those relationships essentially were successful because I learned
Speaker 1: something from them. I learned what I don't want in
Speaker 1: a partner, I learned what I deserve. I learned like
Speaker 1: a greater level of respect for myself. So and I
Speaker 1: know that that's a very like idealistic way of looking
Speaker 1: at dating and relationships. And definitely when you're in the
Speaker 1: throes are going like another one that didn't work out,
Speaker 1: it's sometimes hard to go, oh, well this is going
Speaker 1: to be a nice life lesson in the back, But
Speaker 1: it's like I've had enough those lives. I found bloody,
Speaker 1: I'm as wise as there is. I think I look
Speaker 1: back on those times in my life now and I
Speaker 1: can see that every single one of those relationships had
Speaker 1: purpose and I learned something from them, and I learned
Speaker 1: like a greater level of respect for myself as well. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: We had this other girl writing and I thought this
Speaker 1: was really really sweet. She said, does it have to
Speaker 1: be romantic success because I have a different success. I
Speaker 1: moved to a new city completely on my own early
Speaker 1: this year. I literally didn't know a soul, but I
Speaker 1: have found five new, incredible best friends from bumble We
Speaker 1: actually had someone ask on the Facebook group about things
Speaker 1: like bubble bff and like, I I think, you know,
Speaker 1: it's amazing that there are these opportunities that you can
Speaker 1: expand your networks and make new friends and like even
Speaker 1: with like the life on cut community and the fact
Speaker 1: that people are doing meetups now and the fact that
Speaker 1: people are actually forming genuine friendships from an online platform,
Speaker 1: It's something that's really special. It's amazing, and that's the
Speaker 1: whole purpose of like bubble bff as well. If you
Speaker 1: have gone to a new place it's the same thing.
Speaker 1: I don't see why it's different to any other platform
Speaker 1: or going and studying a new hobby. Literally, you're going
Speaker 1: to meet people that are in the same position as you.
Speaker 1: Comes up so often and ask on cut questions. How
Speaker 1: do you make friends as an adult? It's so hard.
Speaker 1: But I'm not kidding, guys. I reckon. I had two
Speaker 1: to three hundred people writing in saying they're married, they've
Speaker 1: got kids, they're engaged, or from Bumble. So congrat to you.
Speaker 1: We're always talking about the most embarrassing stories, and we've
Speaker 1: been doing some work with Bumble and they're one of
Speaker 1: our sponsors and one of our partners, and it really
Speaker 1: is amazing to be able to reach out to you
Speaker 1: guys and to hear some of the beautiful success stories
Speaker 1: that come out of online dating as well. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: made me want to keep doing it. You were never
Speaker 1: gonna stop? No I do. I periodically deleted, then I
Speaker 1: come back. All right, guys, Before we get into the
Speaker 1: meaty topic of today, I just want to bring one
Speaker 1: accidentally unfiltered. And I don't know about you, Laura, but
Speaker 1: I actually feel like we haven't done this in ages.
Speaker 1: We haven't done this in ages. But also it's only
Speaker 1: been a week. Yeah, but a week of not seeing
Speaker 1: each other and recording feels like forever because we spend
Speaker 1: our entire life in front of this microphone or emailing
Speaker 1: or messaging or voice messaging or dming or But I
Speaker 1: really liked that, like our work consists of like telling
Speaker 1: other people's embarrassing stories, Like that's actually worked for us
Speaker 1: and it's great. I wouldn't want to change a thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this one has this sort of to do with you, actually,
Speaker 1: oh dear. The other day, when listening to Laura's story
Speaker 1: about how she wakes up having orgasms, I was dying
Speaker 1: of laughter because I thought I was the only one
Speaker 1: who did this and that I was a total freak.
Speaker 1: And I've never spoken about it to anyone. Now, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: the safety and numbers, don't you worry. As soon as
Speaker 1: I heard it, I was so excited that I went
Speaker 1: straight over to your Instagram and replied to your story
Speaker 1: Instagram DM and your poll saying exactly this, that I
Speaker 1: am a sleep orgasmer, that I orgasm all the time.
Speaker 1: Then yesterday, in a marketing meeting, my boss brought up
Speaker 1: to the whole table about how he wants us to
Speaker 1: know that he reads our DMS. He gave me a look,
Speaker 1: and I didn't think twice about the look until I
Speaker 1: just looked at our messages from over the weekend and
Speaker 1: I saw that. In fact, I replied to your DMS
Speaker 1: and your poll from my work account, And now I
Speaker 1: know what the look was about, because my boss knows
Speaker 1: that I wake up frequently having big, sexy, juicy orgasms.
Speaker 1: Oh mate, he's just jealous. Don't worry. She was so excited.
Speaker 1: She just went to town telling us her stories. And
Speaker 1: as it was in a boss's account, I'm like dead
Speaker 1: and then she's like deceased, love you by it? Oh wow.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, as much as that's an
Speaker 1: unfortunate thing that happened, God, you're lucky that you can
Speaker 1: have an orgasm in your sleep, because apparently only twenty
Speaker 1: percent of people orgasm in their sleep. And I think
Speaker 1: we're the lucky ones. We had so many people right
Speaker 1: in saying actually that they are sleep orgasmers. It's the
Speaker 1: I was shocked. No, but I was shocked because I
Speaker 1: didn't I genuinely didn't know. Even my sister Sherry, sorry,
Speaker 1: she she was like, don't you do that, and I
Speaker 1: was like, we've got the same genetics. I was like,
Speaker 1: how are you doing this? It's the most minimal effort
Speaker 1: for such high reward. I highly recommend. I mean, actually,
Speaker 1: I did have one person right to me that was
Speaker 1: like after you guys talked about it on the podcast,
Speaker 1: I had my very first one. So maybe it was
Speaker 1: like front of mind for her. So, guys, you know
Speaker 1: what they say manifest if you want to have a
Speaker 1: sleep orgasm tonight, you know what you've got to do. Well,
Speaker 1: she literally running your mind, and really think about that.
Speaker 1: Focus in your goals, focus on your orgasm. So, guys,
Speaker 1: today's episode is on this idea of the pressure society
Speaker 1: puts on us for timelines, how we're supposed to get
Speaker 1: things done when we're supposed to get them done. And
Speaker 1: I feel like as a society, we're always in a
Speaker 1: rush to get somewhere, to accomplish something, to do something,
Speaker 1: whether that's finishing school, graduating university, buying a house, having
Speaker 1: children by the age of thirty. But you can't have
Speaker 1: your children by the age of thirty until you're married,
Speaker 1: because that's the order. It's like married at twenty six,
Speaker 1: kids at thirty or a first kid at thirty. Make
Speaker 1: sure you have your house deposit sorted as well. The
Speaker 1: pressure that society puts on us to we live a
Speaker 1: certain way. It's just what you do. You go to
Speaker 1: school and you finish it, and then you go to union,
Speaker 1: and then you graduate, then you get your job. And
Speaker 1: we today you wanted to sort of discuss that and
Speaker 1: break that down and give you guys another perspective on it.
Speaker 1: That your timeline is completely individual. Your timeline is dependent
Speaker 1: on who you are, your goals, where you want to be,
Speaker 1: and it has nothing to do with any other outside pressure.
Speaker 1: So we want to talk about that. Then we want
Speaker 1: to talk about the idea of maybe your timeline isn't
Speaker 1: what society wants, and maybe you hit thirty, maybe you
Speaker 1: hit thirty five, maybe hit forty, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you think, I'm not happy where I am. I want
Speaker 1: to try something new. I want to go and chase
Speaker 1: my dream. Finally, I don't want to send forty years
Speaker 1: in this job that I detest. So we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about the idea of reinventing yourself and starting something new.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons why we wanted to do this
Speaker 1: is because, like both britt and I we feel really
Speaker 1: really passionate about the fact that, like life doesn't have
Speaker 1: to follow a timeline. And you know, I myself, I
Speaker 1: guess I never even really knew if I wanted to
Speaker 1: have children before I met Matt, And that was always
Speaker 1: something that kind of came up in conversation, and it
Speaker 1: was always a question of mine. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: do I not want to have kids because I haven't
Speaker 1: met the right person, or is it because I genuinely
Speaker 1: in me don't feel very maternal. And anyone who actually
Speaker 1: watched Matt and Mine's season of The Bachelor, which this
Speaker 1: has gone back a bit now, but we had a
Speaker 1: date that was at a daycare and we had to
Speaker 1: run around after other people's children, and I was standing
Speaker 1: there going, I don't really care, like kind of want
Speaker 1: to not get in the spot, like this is not
Speaker 1: my idea of a date. And for me, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm very very close to like my friend's children's and
Speaker 1: like my sister's baby, and like you know, my nieces
Speaker 1: and nephews and all lots of stuff, But I don't
Speaker 1: really get excited about other people's kids. You know, that's
Speaker 1: not a natural thing for me. And I mean, I
Speaker 1: hope that there's other people out there who relate to that.
Speaker 1: I know that some women just naturally feel super maternal,
Speaker 1: but I have never felt that, and so so I
Speaker 1: kind of always attributed that to maybe I didn't want
Speaker 1: to have kids. I wasn't sure, but obviously for Matt
Speaker 1: that was something that was so important to him, and
Speaker 1: then when I got into the right relationship with him,
Speaker 1: it was exactly what I wanted. Like there's never ever
Speaker 1: been a second since I've had Mali where I've thought,
Speaker 1: you know, or like did I not want to have kids?
Speaker 1: Like do I don't know? Any of that? All of
Speaker 1: that doubt sort of slipped away. But for a really
Speaker 1: long time, like I was really conscious of like this
Speaker 1: idea of a timeline, this idea of like do I
Speaker 1: need to get married? When do I need to settle down?
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, Matt and I have done
Speaker 1: it in such a roundabout way and such a mixed
Speaker 1: up way, in a way that for a while I
Speaker 1: didn't feel comfortable talking about because I thought that people
Speaker 1: would have their own opinions or that'd had their own
Speaker 1: judgment on how we were living our life. Well, let's
Speaker 1: wind it back a little bit because I just find
Speaker 1: it so interesting. Let's go back to when we were
Speaker 1: I don't know, let's say eighteen, Like when you were
Speaker 1: seventeen eighteen, when you're thinking, if you're wrapping up school
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden you're like, okay, I've got
Speaker 1: to go and plan my life a little bit. When
Speaker 1: you projected and when you looked your life ahead and
Speaker 1: maybe just say thirty years, what did the timeline look
Speaker 1: for you, and what did you think you were going
Speaker 1: to be doing and achieving and what did you want?
Speaker 1: Because I know that for my timeline, what I wanted
Speaker 1: and what I thought that happened is very bloody different.
Speaker 1: It is very out of whack. Guys, my timeline is
Speaker 1: still very out of whack I personally. So I finished
Speaker 1: school at seventeen. I met the man who I thought
Speaker 1: I was going to marry at eighteen. I was convinced,
Speaker 1: absolutely convinced that he was the one for me. So
Speaker 1: in my timeline in my head, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: we'll be married by the time I'm twenty six, we
Speaker 1: will have babies by the time I'm thirty one, and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, live in Sydney. I didn't really
Speaker 1: have a big grand plan for where I was going
Speaker 1: to be or what I was going to be doing.
Speaker 1: But in regards to like work and career, I kind
Speaker 1: of always thought I was going to be an artist.
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to be a painter, and
Speaker 1: I was going to do that on the side of
Speaker 1: having like a graphic design job. That was my normal thing.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you pained. I didn't actually know that
Speaker 1: you were like really into art. You've seen some of
Speaker 1: the paintings through in my house, the cockatoo. Nah, that
Speaker 1: one's very good. I didn't do that one. See. I
Speaker 1: probably have seen them and just thought it was art.
Speaker 1: It was your art. Okay, So you didn't get married
Speaker 1: at twenty six, you didn't have your kid at thirty one,
Speaker 1: and you're not painting. I kind of want to jump
Speaker 1: forward to like my pregnancy journey and stuff with Marley,
Speaker 1: because for me, that was like the most significant timeline
Speaker 1: that was completely out of whack. I was single at
Speaker 1: thirty I was single at thirty one. I met Matt
Speaker 1: at thirty one and the relationship just clicked obviously, like
Speaker 1: you know, I knew that he was the one for me,
Speaker 1: and then I haven't spoken about this super publicly. I've
Speaker 1: mentioned it briefly on the podcast before, but I've always
Speaker 1: been so worried about the stigma that's attached or people's perceptions,
Speaker 1: and I was worried that people would judge mine and
Speaker 1: Matt's relationships. So what I'm about to tell you basically,
Speaker 1: are you making it? I feel like it's so much
Speaker 1: worse than it is. No, But like at the time,
Speaker 1: I was in embarrassed because I was like, people are
Speaker 1: going to see this as though, you know, our child
Speaker 1: wasn't planned and that and that for me, there was
Speaker 1: this stigma around something being not planned and therefore an
Speaker 1: association with it being unwanted, And I was like, Maley
Speaker 1: was never unwanted. She was always so wanted, but she
Speaker 1: wasn't planned, So there's a different There is a massive difference,
Speaker 1: and it worried me at the time that people wouldn't
Speaker 1: see that. So I guess that that was something that
Speaker 1: I really wanted to kind of shy away from, especially
Speaker 1: when I was so excited about the fact that we're
Speaker 1: having a baby. Matt and I weren't living together when
Speaker 1: I found out I was pregnant the first time, so
Speaker 1: I was still living in Rushcata's Bay. Matt was living
Speaker 1: in Bondai with his two housemates, and I found out
Speaker 1: I was pregnant, and then, as you guys know, I
Speaker 1: had a miscarriage ten weeks later, but we weren't living together.
Speaker 1: So for me, that was like, well, okay, that was
Speaker 1: not the plan. Anyway, we kind of relaxed our ideas around,
Speaker 1: you know, when we wanted to have kids and timelines
Speaker 1: and stuff, and we just I didn't go back on
Speaker 1: the pill, and we were like, well, we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1: So then I got pregnant again very shortly afterwards. We
Speaker 1: still weren't living together, like we lived in separate houses,
Speaker 1: and then that's when we moved in together. So we
Speaker 1: moved in together. I moved into his house with his
Speaker 1: two housemates, and I did my entire pregnancy living with
Speaker 1: his two housemates. And I didn't want to talk about
Speaker 1: that publicly because I was so worried about like Daily
Speaker 1: Mail writing an article and people perceiving that as perceiving
Speaker 1: it as like a bit bogan. That was my worry.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want people to think that
Speaker 1: I am, like, you know, I don't have my shit
Speaker 1: together or I haven't sorted my life out, and that
Speaker 1: here we are like having this kid that you know
Speaker 1: was unplanned, and then therefore people might think it was unwanted,
Speaker 1: which was obviously my fear. Now I look back on
Speaker 1: that time, and I'm like, why do I fucking care
Speaker 1: so much what people think? Because I loved that pregnancy
Speaker 1: and living with Matt's housemates. I had so much fun.
Speaker 1: I had so much support around me as well, like
Speaker 1: living with people who I loved and I got along with,
Speaker 1: and they were such good friends. I moved out, so
Speaker 1: Matt and I moved out together. We got our own
Speaker 1: place about three months before Marley was born, or two
Speaker 1: months before Mary was born. However, that wasn't in the country,
Speaker 1: so I physically moved our entire apartment myself. When I
Speaker 1: was a month pregnant. Oh. I remember saying, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come and help you, and you were like, I remember
Speaker 1: You've been like, it's not going to be that bad.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this chick has got
Speaker 1: no fucking idea, Like we got to removal. Usa'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I wasn't physically moving, but I was eight months pregnant.
Speaker 1: I set up our apartment Matt came home and that
Speaker 1: was that was literally our first time living together. And
Speaker 1: so you know, Molly's now one and a half, we
Speaker 1: have one and a half year old baby, and we've
Speaker 1: lived together for one a half years and seven months.
Speaker 1: Like if you've never lived together not pregnant, and we've
Speaker 1: never lived together not being parents, We've always been on
Speaker 1: our pregnancy journey from the time that we've lived together,
Speaker 1: which you know, if I look back when I was
Speaker 1: twenty and how I thought my life was going to
Speaker 1: plan out, Hell's no, I was going to live with
Speaker 1: a guy for four years, then we were going to travel,
Speaker 1: then we're going to have a baby. That just didn't
Speaker 1: turn out the way that I expected it would, but
Speaker 1: I wouldn't change a single thing. I've loved every moment
Speaker 1: of this past year so much so I wanted to
Speaker 1: do it again. And so then you've got toged after
Speaker 1: you found out you're pregnant too, didn't you. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: got engaged when I was eight months pregnant, and once
Speaker 1: again there was this fear that people were going to
Speaker 1: think that we were only getting engaged because I was pregnant,
Speaker 1: because you had your accidental baby. Yes, I think I've
Speaker 1: done a lot of work on myself to get to
Speaker 1: a point now where I don't really care about people's
Speaker 1: opinions of me, and like I really feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I know who I am as a person. And that's
Speaker 1: something that we preach a lot on this podcast, is
Speaker 1: like you have to be really comfortable and confident in yourself.
Speaker 1: But there is still that little bit of I don't
Speaker 1: want someone to think those negative thoughts of me. And
Speaker 1: so like when we got engaged, there was this little
Speaker 1: tiny voice in my head that was, well, are people
Speaker 1: going to think that we're only engaged now because I'm pregnant,
Speaker 1: and like it's not because we love each other, And
Speaker 1: that was my fear. But as humans, we as humans
Speaker 1: can you can preach it all you want to say.
Speaker 1: You know, you really have to not worry about what
Speaker 1: people think. And I'm a big advocate for that. I
Speaker 1: think that you shouldn't worry about what people think. But
Speaker 1: as humans, it's normal to want to be liked and
Speaker 1: to want to be respected, and you don't want people
Speaker 1: to judge you and say bad things about you. So
Speaker 1: I think that that's such a normal thought to have
Speaker 1: that you're like if I announced this, ah all the
Speaker 1: trolls are going to come out, and you know, like
Speaker 1: I can't. I don't think you should judge yourself too
Speaker 1: hardly on that one hundred percent. And I think also,
Speaker 1: like when I look back on it, it's this reality
Speaker 1: and like this pressure, like I didn't care. Personally, I
Speaker 1: am and have never been in such a healthy and
Speaker 1: happy place in my life, like I love where my
Speaker 1: life is at now, but socially, the stigma that was
Speaker 1: attached to what my life looked like when like, you know,
Speaker 1: the fancy bells and whistles of Instagram was kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, not there, and it was actually the real
Speaker 1: logistics of my life at that point in time. I
Speaker 1: was so worried about what people would think. Not because
Speaker 1: I cared about where my life was at. I was
Speaker 1: super happy, but because there's this expectation that we follow
Speaker 1: a certain timeline. And I'm here to say the timeline
Speaker 1: doesn't fucking matter, it doesn't exist. The timeline exists in
Speaker 1: your own head. I cannot tell you how different my
Speaker 1: life is from the timeline that I had planned out.
Speaker 1: I finished school and I went traveling for the year
Speaker 1: and moved to Italy. Because I was always on my agenda.
Speaker 1: I was always gonna have this year off before I
Speaker 1: really knuckled down and got into life. So I did that,
Speaker 1: came back and I studied. I always wanted to be
Speaker 1: in a healthcare so I studied radiation science. I always
Speaker 1: knew I wanted to be in a hospital environment, helping people,
Speaker 1: and I thought that that would be me forever. I
Speaker 1: was also in a relationship with someone for eight years
Speaker 1: and I remember saying to him. I remember saying him,
Speaker 1: just so you know, I'm going to be a young mum.
Speaker 1: I know. It's funny now. He was a few years
Speaker 1: older than me, and we were so obsessed with each other,
Speaker 1: and he's he's like, oh yeah, what's young? And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, I just want I just want you
Speaker 1: to be prepared that like, this is what I want
Speaker 1: from our relationship, and this is what I want from me,
Speaker 1: because we were always going to spend our life together,
Speaker 1: you know. And he said, well, what's young? And I said,
Speaker 1: I want to go to UNI finish and probably just
Speaker 1: get like two years work behind me, some savings, and
Speaker 1: then I want to start having kids at like actually
Speaker 1: I think I think, I said twenty four. I'm pretty sure,
Speaker 1: I said twenty four, and he was a few older
Speaker 1: than me, so he was like, there's no way you're
Speaker 1: gonna want kids at twenty four, and I'm like, hundred percent,
Speaker 1: that's what i want to do. I want to grow up.
Speaker 1: I want my kids to be my friend. I want
Speaker 1: to be young and have energy, and then I want
Speaker 1: I want to be finished having kids by thirty. I
Speaker 1: thought I'd be done with my kids at thirty, and
Speaker 1: I also told him I wanted four kids, so that
Speaker 1: was gonna be busy six years. I also had this
Speaker 1: dream and was determined to I don't know, and this
Speaker 1: is the thing. I don't know why we put these
Speaker 1: presures on ourself. I think it's society. I said to
Speaker 1: myself that by the time I was thirty, I was
Speaker 1: going to own three houses. That was my goal. Why
Speaker 1: who bloody knows. But all my friends were out partying, drinking, traveling.
Speaker 1: I was at home literally reading like finance books and
Speaker 1: investment books, and it was so strange. Bought my house,
Speaker 1: my first house, started to go down the timeline track,
Speaker 1: then went and got another mortgage for a second house
Speaker 1: because I was determined. I was like, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: three houses at thirty about twenty four, went to get
Speaker 1: my second loan to buy my second house. Now can
Speaker 1: you imagine on your own three mortgages? What was I thinking? Then?
Speaker 1: Thank God, I had this mid life crisis and just
Speaker 1: as I was going by his second is still not
Speaker 1: out of it for long. It's the longest midlife crisis
Speaker 1: you guys have it ever saying it's about eight years strong. There.
Speaker 1: It's a half life crisis. It's just going to continue on.
Speaker 1: So it was a quarter life crisis to be fair,
Speaker 1: because I was young, had this crisis, was going by
Speaker 1: the second house and I just flipped instead of buying it.
Speaker 1: I didn't go through it. I flipped on everything I've
Speaker 1: ever done, sold the first house. My dreams of three
Speaker 1: houses were gone. And that's when I just took off
Speaker 1: overseas for threees. I was like my relationship ended. Everything
Speaker 1: was crumbling. I realized that I wasn't going to have
Speaker 1: the kids. I realized I wasn't going to have the
Speaker 1: properties I wanted. So I just went for threes and like,
Speaker 1: blew off some steam, lot of steam, blow off, some
Speaker 1: steam came back and basically when I came back, it
Speaker 1: took me up to the level of the Bachelor. So
Speaker 1: here I am thinking I was going to be in medicine,
Speaker 1: owning all these houses, in love gauge, married with kids.
Speaker 1: I was single, no money, thirty on a reality dating
Speaker 1: show and going down what I didn't know at the
Speaker 1: time was a whole nother career path. Now this is
Speaker 1: really scary, like when you get to an age of
Speaker 1: thirty and you realize that your life isn't anywhere where
Speaker 1: you thought it would be. And I was getting a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure from people in my family and friends
Speaker 1: and society, and like, why are you single? Why are
Speaker 1: you still traveling? You're never going to meet anyone traveling.
Speaker 1: How are you going to get ahead in your life
Speaker 1: if you're spending your money on things that you can't keep.
Speaker 1: Whereas in my mind, I was like, well, I have
Speaker 1: more memories, I'm so life rich that the money didn't
Speaker 1: matter to me. And I just think when I was
Speaker 1: thirty and looking back, and I had this idea in
Speaker 1: my mind of I was okay that I didn't have
Speaker 1: any money, and I was like, okay that I didn't
Speaker 1: have the kids and the engagement, because I just took
Speaker 1: a different perspective on life and I'm lucky that I
Speaker 1: spent my time with this Buddhist monk and he put
Speaker 1: me on this road to feeling okay with it, because otherwise,
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you I would have had a nervous
Speaker 1: breakdown thinking that I was thirty failure, that I hadn't
Speaker 1: ticked any goals, that I was alone, and that really
Speaker 1: redefined my path where I realized it didn't matter anymore
Speaker 1: that I'm not doing what society wanted, and I actually
Speaker 1: was happy with where I was and what I had
Speaker 1: done and what I had ticked off, and I didn't
Speaker 1: feel like a failure, whereas I would have if I
Speaker 1: didn't have these experiences. There's a high chance that I
Speaker 1: would have let society's pressures get to me and everyone's
Speaker 1: questions get to me, and why are you single? Why
Speaker 1: you have any money? Why are you still traveling? Why
Speaker 1: haven't you settled? Why don't you have your house yet?
Speaker 1: And I probably would have had a nervous breakdown. But
Speaker 1: I think this is so relatable, and I know that
Speaker 1: there's going to be loads of people who are listening
Speaker 1: to this who are like, YEP, thought I would be
Speaker 1: married by now and still don't know what I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have for fucking lunch. But like, I mean, I read
Speaker 1: something when we were doing a bit of research for this,
Speaker 1: and something I really enjoyed was this quote, which was
Speaker 1: life doesn't follow a set of timelines, so stop expecting
Speaker 1: it to. And I do think that we have this expectation,
Speaker 1: especially when we're younger, where we're projecting what we want
Speaker 1: for our future. And like, of course it's important to
Speaker 1: have goals. Of course, it's important to think about what
Speaker 1: you want for yourself, have an idea of what a
Speaker 1: five year plan is. But you know, life doesn't necessarily
Speaker 1: stick to a plan, and shit goes wrong and shit
Speaker 1: changes direction. And when you're in your early twenties, you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily know what you want for your thirties because
Speaker 1: you haven't lived that life yet, you don't have that
Speaker 1: life experience. And this isn't to say please don't think that.
Speaker 1: This is to say that every single person who has
Speaker 1: kids or gets married or whatever in their early twenties
Speaker 1: is making the wrong decision. You're not, absolutely not. You're
Speaker 1: making the absolute best decision for yourself. Everybody lives a
Speaker 1: different life. But this is to more so empower people
Speaker 1: who are older, who are at a point in their
Speaker 1: life where they're like, you know what, I'm still not
Speaker 1: one hundred percent sure what I'm doing with myself. But
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that you're wasting time, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that you're wasting your life. I think that that's
Speaker 1: something that's really important to take home from this as well.
Speaker 1: Also when I was doing my research, Brittany love that
Speaker 1: for you. So guys, you might not know this, but
Speaker 1: I know that there's there's a lot of conversation around
Speaker 1: divorce and like how often it happens. And I think
Speaker 1: that sometimes we almost focus on how marriage is futile
Speaker 1: because divorce is almost inevitable. But divorce in Australia is
Speaker 1: actually on the decline and there are fewer now than
Speaker 1: any time in the last twenty years. So in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty we have our lowest rates of divorce, and as
Speaker 1: both the divorce rate and the divorce numbers have been declining.
Speaker 1: Ten years ago the divorce rate was two point seven
Speaker 1: per one thousand people. One year ago it was two
Speaker 1: point two, and today it's only two point one per
Speaker 1: one thousand people. And they attribute that to the fact
Speaker 1: that people are getting married later in life, people are
Speaker 1: waiting longer to make those decisions, and that by making
Speaker 1: those decisions later in life, there comes this like really
Speaker 1: well educated and really well thought out, Like you've lived
Speaker 1: the fucking shit, you've had, the bad relationships, you know
Speaker 1: what you want, you know what you deserve, and you're
Speaker 1: not settling for something because there's this idea of a
Speaker 1: timeline that's pressured around you. And you think back to
Speaker 1: our grandparents. Generate you married whoever it was that you
Speaker 1: dated when you were sixteen. My grandparents met when they
Speaker 1: were sixteen, They got married when they were twenty two.
Speaker 1: Be married for fever. You know, that's just how life went. Obviously,
Speaker 1: there's pros and cons to the whole sticking through thick
Speaker 1: and thin, but we have the liberty of choice now
Speaker 1: in modern society, and this idea of choice also means
Speaker 1: that we're making better choices because we can wait a
Speaker 1: little bit longer to do that. Well, the other thing
Speaker 1: that's happening too is, as I mean this is going
Speaker 1: to be a general statement, but as women, we are
Speaker 1: given more opportunity now. We never used to have the
Speaker 1: chance to work for ourselves and start our own businesses.
Speaker 1: We never had the chance to strive for promotions at work,
Speaker 1: compete in a male dominated industry, but now we do,
Speaker 1: which means our priorities are changing. A lot of people
Speaker 1: are starting to focus more on their career and getting
Speaker 1: ahead in life and financial security than focusing on finding
Speaker 1: a partner and having children and getting married. Because we
Speaker 1: never used to have the opportunity. So that was back then.
Speaker 1: That was the timeline, and that's great because that was
Speaker 1: what was presented and people were making the best of
Speaker 1: their options. Well, women, we can go and do whatever
Speaker 1: the hell we want. There is nothing that you cannot do.
Speaker 1: And I think that's what's happening. Women are taking the
Speaker 1: bull by the horns and taking control of their life
Speaker 1: and chasing their dreams, and I think that is amazing.
Speaker 1: Like Laura said too, we do want to reiterate that
Speaker 1: if you did meet your partner at sixteen and get
Speaker 1: married and have kids young, that is fantastic because that
Speaker 1: is your timeline. All this conversation is about is trying
Speaker 1: to make you feel better if you're not where society
Speaker 1: has said you should be the fact that the timeline
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. So if you did it in your twenties,
Speaker 1: if you did it in your thirties, if you did
Speaker 1: it in your forties. All of it is irrelevant so
Speaker 1: long as it feels right for you, and you know,
Speaker 1: don't make decisions in your life based on what you
Speaker 1: think other people expect of you, or if your parents
Speaker 1: are like when are you gonna get married? When are
Speaker 1: you gonna have babies? I mean, I can't tell you
Speaker 1: how often my family made jokes about the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm still not married and say like, oh, well, are
Speaker 1: you ever going to get married? Like you know, or
Speaker 1: you can have another kid and not be married. But
Speaker 1: for me, it's just not something that we think of
Speaker 1: as being super important, like we are going to get
Speaker 1: more next year, but I mean there's a part of
Speaker 1: me that's like, I really want to put that money
Speaker 1: on a house. I just think it's really important to
Speaker 1: know that this conversation is about creating a life that
Speaker 1: is fulfilling for you as an individual. So this is
Speaker 1: very much in relation to you as a person. Something
Speaker 1: else we want to highlight is because we are spending
Speaker 1: more time on our jobs and because of the advances
Speaker 1: in science, and we are going to be talking about
Speaker 1: this in the next few weeks, we have the option
Speaker 1: of having children later in life. Now, so we don't
Speaker 1: feel the pressure as much of having to bang out
Speaker 1: some kids by thirty because then our eggs trivel up.
Speaker 1: We don't have that anymore. We've got science is incredible,
Speaker 1: and we have a whole amazing episode guys coming on
Speaker 1: IVF and egg freezing and all the options that are
Speaker 1: available to you. I think this is something else that
Speaker 1: we're starting to realize now, and it's so empowering for
Speaker 1: women to realize that, oh my god, I don't have
Speaker 1: to put the rest of my life on hold because
Speaker 1: I have to have a child now, and then it's
Speaker 1: not like they have to circle back to their dreams
Speaker 1: in ten years time. As much as there is no
Speaker 1: timeline for so many things in life, obviously, having kids
Speaker 1: is something that we can't avoid. Like as much as
Speaker 1: we can talk about and say, like, you know, live
Speaker 1: your life, do whatever you want to, there is a
Speaker 1: finite timeframe on like your fertility. That is something that
Speaker 1: is really important and we, like Britt said, we actually
Speaker 1: just today recorded a really awesome episode with a specialist
Speaker 1: on fertility, which will bring out in a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks for you guys. Because we think that like this
Speaker 1: concept and conversation around timelines won't be complete without having
Speaker 1: a conversation around fertility. And it's not to scare you.
Speaker 1: It's not to say like, oh, those biological clock is
Speaker 1: ticking again. It's to empower your decision making and give
Speaker 1: you all of the tools to be able to say, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, Okay, well I'm going to be cool
Speaker 1: for another ten years of my life. But something I
Speaker 1: just wanted to touch on that you also kind of
Speaker 1: spoke about a little bit. As much as we have
Speaker 1: so much choice as women now, I also think that
Speaker 1: sometimes that choice can be very overwhelming in a sense.
Speaker 1: And there's this concept of like and this question, and
Speaker 1: I know that I had it just after I had Mali,
Speaker 1: and I think that maybe it's like one of those
Speaker 1: extential life crisis question you kind of ask yourself after
Speaker 1: you have a child. Well now that I'm a mom, Like,
Speaker 1: can I still have a career? Oh? Can we do
Speaker 1: the podcast? Can I have a business? Can I How
Speaker 1: am I going to run all these facets of my life?
Speaker 1: And I do think we've sold this, this dream and
Speaker 1: this idealistic idea that you can have everything as a woman, right,
Speaker 1: you can have it all? But I strongly feel now
Speaker 1: after juggling the last year of my life, that you
Speaker 1: can have it all, but you can't have it all
Speaker 1: at the same time, Like there has to be something
Speaker 1: that gives and like for me, you know, work has
Speaker 1: been something that I've really struggled with over the last
Speaker 1: year because I've prioritized being a mum, even though I
Speaker 1: am a business owner, even though we had the podcast.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I feel like my relationship is the thing
Speaker 1: that takes the back burner from time to time because
Speaker 1: Matt used to be my absolute number one priority. We
Speaker 1: spent every day together, we spent every single second of
Speaker 1: free time together. And now there's Matt, there's work, there's Mali,
Speaker 1: there's physically being pregnant. And I think that, you know,
Speaker 1: we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as women
Speaker 1: to be successful in inverted commas and to try and
Speaker 1: do every single thing at one time. And I just
Speaker 1: think that, you know, you don't end up having it all,
Speaker 1: you end up doing it all, and that's not a
Speaker 1: place where you necessarily want to be in either, because
Speaker 1: you're just gonna get fucking burnt out. Yeah, And this
Speaker 1: will lead us on to the next part of the conversation. Guys,
Speaker 1: that is on about changing careers and trying to go
Speaker 1: down a different road. And Laura and I, obviously we
Speaker 1: have both had different careers in our lifetime. I've gone
Speaker 1: from God, what have I done? So I was in
Speaker 1: I still am. I still work in the hospital in
Speaker 1: diagnostic radiography. Deciding I wanted to write when I was
Speaker 1: about twenty six or twenty seven, So I started writing.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't trained in writing. I didn't go and
Speaker 1: study writing, but I enjoyed it. So I've reached out
Speaker 1: to some publications, sent them some They were like, send
Speaker 1: us some stuff. Just wrote some stuff and send us
Speaker 1: to them. And then all of a sudden, I was writing.
Speaker 1: I was contributing to like a Traveler online wellness and
Speaker 1: health magazine, and I was like, wow, I've just done
Speaker 1: this because it's a passion. I At the start, I
Speaker 1: wasn't getting paid anything and it was just something that
Speaker 1: I enjoy doing. So all of a sudden, I took
Speaker 1: on another workload but I wasn't being paid for it.
Speaker 1: Then I decided, ah, I love health, I want to
Speaker 1: do something else with it. I love fitness, So I
Speaker 1: went back and studied personal training. So I did that
Speaker 1: for two years studying, and I still did that whilst
Speaker 1: I was doing the rioting and whilst I was doing
Speaker 1: the diagnostic radiography. So all of a sudden, I'm doing
Speaker 1: three different things, all little like part time bits, but
Speaker 1: they're all things I'm interested in. So I found it
Speaker 1: easy because I wasn't doing it for monetary gain. I
Speaker 1: was doing it for no other reason than it was
Speaker 1: an interest. Fast forward a little bit further and started
Speaker 1: the podcast. This is a whole nother, whole nother ballgame
Speaker 1: for me, guys. This is I do a lot of
Speaker 1: the business side of this, and I have never done
Speaker 1: business in my life. Oh I know. Sometimes I'm like Brea,
Speaker 1: you have to do an Excel spreadsheet for this, and
Speaker 1: she's like, how do I open two bulldogs? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: here I'm not kidding here. I am having like board
Speaker 1: meetings with people on Zoom. I'm writing contracts, I'm doing
Speaker 1: the accounts. It's like it's insane, but I'm doing because
Speaker 1: I was so passionate about this part of it and
Speaker 1: bringing you guys a podcast. So again, and we did
Speaker 1: not get paid for this for the first year at all.
Speaker 1: Like we put in the hours and it was hard work.
Speaker 1: But we didn't get a cent from it. Then I
Speaker 1: decided in my thirties, I want to be an actor,
Speaker 1: So if I went and I went to drama school
Speaker 1: in my twenties, and I did. I started acting for
Speaker 1: a few years and I really loved it. I never
Speaker 1: did anything with it. So then whilst I'm doing everything else,
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck it, I'm going to go and
Speaker 1: start auditioning the things and doing short films. And so
Speaker 1: I am definitely someone that can say with every part
Speaker 1: of my heart that I just feel like there's nothing
Speaker 1: that you can't do if you really are passionate about it.
Speaker 1: I'm someone that says, go and chase it, go and
Speaker 1: try it. But I'll be the first person to tell
Speaker 1: you it is not easy. It comes with sacrifices. You're
Speaker 1: not going to go out there and be the best
Speaker 1: and the top straight away. You're not going to earn
Speaker 1: money for a long time. There's a lot of things
Speaker 1: that you have to think about when you're taking these steps.
Speaker 1: And this is why we want to talk about changing careers.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's very normal to start a career,
Speaker 1: come out of UNI, go into the workplace, and then
Speaker 1: after a few years be completely disenchanted with it and
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, this isn't what I thought it was
Speaker 1: going to be. Or maybe it's longer than that, maybe
Speaker 1: it's seven years you've had children, and now you're like, well,
Speaker 1: that occupation doesn't really fit with my lifestyle. It doesn't
Speaker 1: fit with what I want for myself, and it's not
Speaker 1: giving me the flexibility or the life that I want.
Speaker 1: So then there's this decision and this idea of like, well,
Speaker 1: do you completely change careers, do you pivot your life?
Speaker 1: Do you create something new for yourself? And that is
Speaker 1: such an overwhelming and scary thought I think for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, because there's this concept of like, well
Speaker 1: where do I start and what do I do? And
Speaker 1: you know, do I start my own business? I mean,
Speaker 1: I do think that sometimes the online community can make
Speaker 1: becoming an entrepreneur seems so easy, Like, you know, anyone
Speaker 1: can start a Shopify account, anyone can put together a
Speaker 1: Facebook page and they can you know, put products on
Speaker 1: there and sell something. So I do think that there
Speaker 1: is this romanticized idea of what an entrepreneur is. However,
Speaker 1: it's not for everyone, but for the people who want
Speaker 1: to do it and are super passionate about all facets
Speaker 1: of business. It's an incredibly rewarding occupation to take on. Statistically,
Speaker 1: people will change their careers seven times in their life.
Speaker 1: So if you're contemplating it and you're thinking about it,
Speaker 1: don't worry, you're gonna do it six more times, like
Speaker 1: this is just the first time. But you know, we
Speaker 1: are not supposed to be creatures of mundane, boring tasks
Speaker 1: or we do the same thing for the rest of
Speaker 1: our lives. If you are unhappy and unfulfilled in your workplace,
Speaker 1: then it is time to start thinking about, like what
Speaker 1: can you do outside of that, and how can you
Speaker 1: make changes in your life to be able to allow
Speaker 1: for a changing career. And you know, for some people
Speaker 1: it's going to be a lot easier than others. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know for myself when I changed my career, I
Speaker 1: mean I So, I'll give you a bit of my backstory.
Speaker 1: Came out of UNI. I was a graphic designer. I
Speaker 1: worked in an extremely corporate design firm. I did packaging
Speaker 1: design for hearing aids and dental appliances. I also did
Speaker 1: audiolog just clinic fit out, so I like designed picked
Speaker 1: all the color patterns for the bloody clinics. I picked
Speaker 1: like the types of chairs and stuff that were going
Speaker 1: to be in there. Clinch, I can never imagine you
Speaker 1: doing like the most boring design. If you can think
Speaker 1: of like doing something fun in graphic design, then strip
Speaker 1: all the fun out of it. That's the job that
Speaker 1: I did. I made like letterheads anyway, So I mean
Speaker 1: I did that, and I did that for five six
Speaker 1: years when I came out of UNI, and I always
Speaker 1: had Tony May as like this little side hustle and
Speaker 1: side passion of mine. But I never really believed that
Speaker 1: it could be a job. I didn't think it could
Speaker 1: be a full time business. We actually did a full
Speaker 1: episode on like our careers and how we kind of
Speaker 1: ended up where we are. So I won't totally go
Speaker 1: into like how I started Tony May or anything, but
Speaker 1: for me, starting a business was a complete career pivot,
Speaker 1: like it never I never expected it to end up
Speaker 1: becoming my full time business. I never really believed that
Speaker 1: it could become my full time business either. But for
Speaker 1: one of my biggest, like my absolute biggest piece of
Speaker 1: advice for anybody who is wanting to pivot their career,
Speaker 1: is wanting to start something new, and this is what
Speaker 1: I have said to every single person I've ever mentaught,
Speaker 1: is that you don't just quit your job. That is
Speaker 1: like the worst thing you can possibly do. If you're
Speaker 1: wanting to start a business or start a side hustle,
Speaker 1: you do it alongside the job that you already have,
Speaker 1: because that gives you When it gives you money in
Speaker 1: the bank, it gives you stability, it gives you structure,
Speaker 1: and you start to mold your other business in your
Speaker 1: free time, every second of free time you have. That's
Speaker 1: what you do, and that's how you manage to start
Speaker 1: to build that secondary business. And it is only when
Speaker 1: you get that secondary business to a point where it
Speaker 1: has some financial stability that you can take that transition
Speaker 1: without it being quite a scary and overwhelming process. Because
Speaker 1: if you're just quitting your job and putting all your
Speaker 1: eggs into this new business basket and then it doesn't
Speaker 1: work in the first six months or one year, you
Speaker 1: have no other option. You've got nowhere to go. So
Speaker 1: that is like my big take home to anybody who
Speaker 1: is wanting to like instantly pivot careers, You've got do
Speaker 1: this is a bit more of a slow transition. Couldn't
Speaker 1: agree more. And every single job site that I went
Speaker 1: on and career site that I went on in this
Speaker 1: was that was their number one piece of advice was like,
Speaker 1: don't just like get all excited one day quit your
Speaker 1: job and going to something else. So something to remember.
Speaker 1: And I remember starting the podcast, I would work all
Speaker 1: day at the hospital all night, and then sometimes Laura
Speaker 1: and I would be meeting at the studio at like
Speaker 1: I'm not even exaggerating midnight, sometimes five am. We were
Speaker 1: doing these records. Well, when we started the podcast, I
Speaker 1: had literally just given birth, so I would come in
Speaker 1: between breastfeeding. We would have a two hour record slot
Speaker 1: because I was like, if I don't get home in
Speaker 1: two hours, my other like tits are going to explode
Speaker 1: or Marley's going to be screen. We had no option
Speaker 1: but to fit in with Miley May because she's a
Speaker 1: newborn baby that like literally her life depends on feeding.
Speaker 1: So sometimes we would record and I would go to
Speaker 1: work for my shift an hour later, and it was insane,
Speaker 1: and I had people saying to me, why are you
Speaker 1: doing this, like you cannot you cannot do this, like
Speaker 1: you're crazy. Why don't you drop back some days or
Speaker 1: why don't you quit one of the jobs, and I
Speaker 1: was like, because I don't have a choice, Like, this
Speaker 1: is literally what I have to do. We don't get
Speaker 1: paid for it, but I'm passionate about it. I want
Speaker 1: to make the transition into it. But I'm hyper aware
Speaker 1: that you have to dedicate a lot of time and energy,
Speaker 1: and unfortunately, you sacrifice a lot of things to get there.
Speaker 1: And now we're at a point where I've completely transitioned.
Speaker 1: I'm probably fifty to fifty now. I've cut down at
Speaker 1: the hospital, so I do a few days there and
Speaker 1: then I focus a few days on this. But it
Speaker 1: took me, Like I don't want you guys to think
Speaker 1: I want you to know how hard it is to
Speaker 1: start your own business and put in the effort. We
Speaker 1: did a year with just like the craziest hours and
Speaker 1: so much stress between Laura and I, and I want
Speaker 1: you to be aware that that is reality. We don't
Speaker 1: want to sugarcoat anything. Yeah, and a year of like
Speaker 1: I mean it's just specifically talking about this podcast, like
Speaker 1: we did a year of recordings and a year of
Speaker 1: creating free content that we did not make a single
Speaker 1: dollar off, and that for us was really really important
Speaker 1: because like one, we wanted to know that we could
Speaker 1: do it consistently, but we also wanted to know that
Speaker 1: we love doing it and that we were passionate about it,
Speaker 1: and that people wanted to listen to us, and that
Speaker 1: you guys were going to keep coming back. But like
Speaker 1: something that I want to touch on though, like you know,
Speaker 1: it's easy for us to say, like that anyone can
Speaker 1: transition a career and that you can change your life
Speaker 1: and change your career at any time in your life,
Speaker 1: Like I do genuinely believe that. I think that you know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you're twenty, it doesn't matter if
Speaker 1: you're fifty, it doesn't matter if you're thinking about retirement,
Speaker 1: because like, there is always a time where you can
Speaker 1: change and bring something new into your life. And that's
Speaker 1: what keeps us inspired. It's what keeps us stimulated, and
Speaker 1: it's what keeps our brains alive. Like literally, that's staying
Speaker 1: interested and being interested in things and learning new things
Speaker 1: is one of the most important things in life. Every
Speaker 1: single person is going to face their own set of
Speaker 1: challenges when transitioning or when wanting to make a career pivot.
Speaker 1: I mean, the challenges that you'll face in your early
Speaker 1: twenties are very very different to the challenges that you're
Speaker 1: going to face when you have a family, and so
Speaker 1: you do have to approach those things and consider your context.
Speaker 1: You have to consider your priorities, You have to consider
Speaker 1: your family. You have to consider like the people that
Speaker 1: are dependent on you. If you have three children, obviously
Speaker 1: that's going to be a lot harder for you to
Speaker 1: then just transition. Maybe you do have to wait a
Speaker 1: couple of years before you make those choices, and maybe
Speaker 1: there are more sacrifices that come along. But it's not
Speaker 1: to say that it's impossible. It's only impossible if you
Speaker 1: have the mindset of it's something that I can't do
Speaker 1: and I'm never going to do. But if you research it,
Speaker 1: if you look at what study options there might be
Speaker 1: part time, if you look at people who in your
Speaker 1: area could mentor you, if you reach out to people
Speaker 1: who have created businesses very similar to one that you
Speaker 1: want to create, or they're doing careers in occupations that
Speaker 1: you would like to explore. I think that there's always
Speaker 1: an option for someone who is serious about making a
Speaker 1: career pivot. But every single person is going to, you know,
Speaker 1: have a very unique set of challenges to do that well.
Speaker 1: For example, I have a girlfriend. She's a teacher, she's
Speaker 1: been a teacher for a long time, she has a child.
Speaker 1: She wanted a career change, but like, it wasn't it
Speaker 1: wasn't going to be easy for her. So for years
Speaker 1: she enrolled into psychology. She wants with cologist. She is
Speaker 1: doing a psychology course that's usually I think three to
Speaker 1: four years. She's doing it over almost ten years because
Speaker 1: to her, that's her option. She's like, I'm gonna just
Speaker 1: start doing it. I'm interested in it, so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start like part part, part, part, part time
Speaker 1: and just do one step at a time. Because the
Speaker 1: thing that you have to remember, guys, is life is
Speaker 1: going to change anyway. I mean, life is going to
Speaker 1: continue anyway, whether you're chasing your dreams or changing little
Speaker 1: parts of your life to achieve what you want. Whether
Speaker 1: you're doing it or not, time is going past, So
Speaker 1: you may as well start to make changes so that
Speaker 1: as time goes past, you're you're growing with it. Do
Speaker 1: you get what I mean? One hundred percent? I mean
Speaker 1: it's the difference of like Okay, yeah, sure, you could say,
Speaker 1: well I don't want to do that new course because
Speaker 1: it's going to take me six years to do that
Speaker 1: course and actually be finished. Well, you know what, you
Speaker 1: could be thirty and start now and when you're thirty
Speaker 1: six you'll be in a career that you want to
Speaker 1: be working in. Or you can be thirty six you
Speaker 1: didn't start when you were thirty, and you'll be still
Speaker 1: in the same shit career that you don't enjoy and
Speaker 1: that's not fulfilling for you. So I think you know,
Speaker 1: you can look at it from either side of the coin.
Speaker 1: Something can take you a hell of a lot longer
Speaker 1: than what you expect, anticipate, or want. But if that
Speaker 1: means that when you get to that point in your life,
Speaker 1: that you're able to actually make that change and it's
Speaker 1: going to be fulfilling for you, and you're going to
Speaker 1: live a life that inspires you. And you get up
Speaker 1: in the morning and you're like, fuck, yeah, I love
Speaker 1: my job because I genuinely think, you know, you spend
Speaker 1: fifty percent of your life at work. You should not
Speaker 1: be and I don't think anybody should be waking up
Speaker 1: in the morning going I fucking hate my job and
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to work. We've got some
Speaker 1: interesting statistics for you, Laura. On the Jobless website, they
Speaker 1: have this midlife career crisis survey, which I love the
Speaker 1: name of it, and I'm sure I've all been there
Speaker 1: or felt it at some point in time. But they
Speaker 1: did the top five reasons that people change careers in
Speaker 1: their life. What do you think you have you seen
Speaker 1: this yet? What would you think is the top reason
Speaker 1: people change their career? So I would think one of
Speaker 1: the big reasons why someone would change their careers because
Speaker 1: I feel underappreciated. For me, that was a huge thing,
Speaker 1: like and one of the reasons why I wanted to
Speaker 1: work for myself was because I mean, maybe this is
Speaker 1: like such a gen what generation are we general? I
Speaker 1: get it all mixed up. There's so many gen letters
Speaker 1: and I don't know what we are anymore. I was like,
Speaker 1: I know, this is like probably something that's very like
Speaker 1: my generation to say, but like, I never felt very
Speaker 1: appreciated in my role where I worked, and I always
Speaker 1: felt like, you know, I was hustling to try and
Speaker 1: get a pay you rise. I was constantly fighting for
Speaker 1: something that I felt like I deserved, and maybe my
Speaker 1: manager and my boss would be like, well, you had
Speaker 1: an inflated sense of your own self worth and you
Speaker 1: thought you deserved more. But I look back on that
Speaker 1: time and I think I didn't really have the respect
Speaker 1: that I felt like I deserved as someone who was
Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't a senior, but I was doing
Speaker 1: very senior jobs. I was doing very senior jobs, and
Speaker 1: I had a very junior title, which didn't really sit
Speaker 1: with me. And you know, it was a conversation that
Speaker 1: kept happening over the space of five years, and eventually
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so sick of being not appreciated
Speaker 1: in this job. Well, forty seven percent of people, so
Speaker 1: the highest number of people the reason that they changed
Speaker 1: their care is for better pay. Oh yeah, money talks, Yeah,
Speaker 1: money talks. Thirty nine percent said that their job was
Speaker 1: just too stressful, so they were trying to take you know,
Speaker 1: they're trying to wind it back a little bit. Thirty
Speaker 1: seven percent wanted a better work life balance, so too
Speaker 1: much overtime, too many weekends. Yeah, And I think that
Speaker 1: that sort of percentage as well would change as you
Speaker 1: get older, so like, you know, what you want when
Speaker 1: you're in your twenties is different to what you want
Speaker 1: in your thirties and it's different to what you want
Speaker 1: in your forties. And then only twenty five percent said
Speaker 1: that they wanted a new challenge, which I found was
Speaker 1: interesting because I feel like that's sort of maybe what
Speaker 1: you where you're at. You're like on boord af I
Speaker 1: want something new. However, if you look at the very
Speaker 1: last one that you've got there on the list, it
Speaker 1: says no longer passionate about the field. So I reckon,
Speaker 1: you can put wanted a new challenge and no longer
Speaker 1: passionate in the same category. So that takes up forty
Speaker 1: five percent of people who after a while of being
Speaker 1: in the same career feel disenchanted by that career. And well,
Speaker 1: then to continue on with the survey, after people changed
Speaker 1: their jobs and their careers, they went back and resurveyed them.
Speaker 1: Seventy seven percent said that they were happier, seventy five
Speaker 1: percent they were more satisfied, sixty nine percent said that
Speaker 1: they were more fulfilled, and sixty five percent said they
Speaker 1: were less stressed. So there's some pretty positive statistics. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess one of the things that I just wanted
Speaker 1: to highlight as well about this idea of like you know,
Speaker 1: having a career change later in life is like it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what career you have, there's always going to
Speaker 1: be days where you don't necessarily want to do your job.
Speaker 1: Like I mean, I am so fortunate. I love my job,
Speaker 1: I love my business, but there are definitely days where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't really like work today. And that
Speaker 1: is always going to follow you no matter what you
Speaker 1: do or where you work or whatever tasks are put
Speaker 1: on your plate. But it's this overwhelming feeling if you
Speaker 1: every day are living for the weekend, if your Monday
Speaker 1: and Friday are like the black hole of your week,
Speaker 1: and then your weekends or what you live for, and
Speaker 1: that's when you actually feel like you come alive. Now,
Speaker 1: that's when you really need to start considering, like, well,
Speaker 1: what am I doing with my life? I don't want
Speaker 1: to waste this time because you should be getting up
Speaker 1: ninety nine point nine percent of the time and being like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I've got it pretty fucking good. I've
Speaker 1: had so many people over the last few months constantly
Speaker 1: writing because we get you guys writing in a lot
Speaker 1: about what you want us to talk about about, your
Speaker 1: questions that you want us to answer and there's been
Speaker 1: a lot of questions that have literally been regarding I'm
Speaker 1: not happy with what I am at thirty four, I'm
Speaker 1: not happy with where I am at thirty eight? How
Speaker 1: do I change this? Do I change this? Am I
Speaker 1: stupid for giving up a really good job? So I
Speaker 1: think we just wanted to address it and let you
Speaker 1: know that you know, there aren't any precious for what
Speaker 1: you can do. There's no limitation on what you can
Speaker 1: do and when you can do it. If you don't
Speaker 1: have your baby at thirty five or at thirty and
Speaker 1: you're not married and you're not engaged, we want you
Speaker 1: to feel that A you're not alone, and B there
Speaker 1: is absolutely nothing wrong with that because you were just
Speaker 1: on your journey and your age does not determine if
Speaker 1: you can be successful, just like your bank account doesn't
Speaker 1: determine if you're happy. Wow, that was so I'm really
Speaker 1: enjoyed that. But before we go and before we wrap
Speaker 1: this up completely, like I really wanted Like and I
Speaker 1: to both share our own personal journeys in this episode.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't to kind of like hop on about
Speaker 1: ourselves or to like be overly self indulgent, but it's
Speaker 1: like I think that sometimes, you know, we can put
Speaker 1: out there that we have our shit together, and we
Speaker 1: can kind of put out there that you know, we're
Speaker 1: kicking all these life goals, but we ain't. My shit
Speaker 1: is not together. I still slave away in a hospital.
Speaker 1: I still do all the things. Yeah, but I think
Speaker 1: then when you break it down, and you know, you
Speaker 1: look at what somebody else's idea of like, and and
Speaker 1: I think about myself personally, I'm sure that there's people
Speaker 1: who look at me and go, oh, well, you know,
Speaker 1: you're happily in a relationship and you have, you know,
Speaker 1: another kid on the way like that, there you go,
Speaker 1: you fit the timeline. But then when I break down
Speaker 1: and actually look at what I expected of myself and
Speaker 1: what I expected of my timeline, those things didn't match
Speaker 1: up for me. And so I guess, you know, we
Speaker 1: really wanted to kind of show you guys that, like
Speaker 1: the timeline doesn't fucking matter. Like, live your life in
Speaker 1: a way that makes you happy, that empowers you, that
Speaker 1: makes you feel spontaneous, and you are getting the absolute
Speaker 1: most out of life. And know that if the reason
Speaker 1: why you're feeling insecure or not good enough, or you're
Speaker 1: questioning your decisions in life is because of other people's
Speaker 1: expectations on you, then that's their fucking problem and not yours. Boom,
Speaker 1: did I think that I would be thirty three, single
Speaker 1: and childless? I'm talking shit in my laundroom at midnight
Speaker 1: with you. No, all right, guys, you know that we
Speaker 1: never finish an episode without our suck and our sweet
Speaker 1: and that is our highlight and our low light of
Speaker 1: every single week. And Brittany, you can kick it off.
Speaker 1: What was your suck? Come at me, girl? Ha ha?
Speaker 1: Something funny actually happened. And it's not that it's actually
Speaker 1: not that sucking, but it's as sort of is I'm
Speaker 1: literally talking to I have one guy that is sort
Speaker 1: of like in my life at the moment. I know
Speaker 1: I haven't been updating you all my love life much
Speaker 1: at the moment, guys, but I've just been too busy.
Speaker 1: But I've got this one guy that I was talking
Speaker 1: to online. And anyway, I woke up this morning and
Speaker 1: he had texted me, so I wrote to him, good morning.
Speaker 1: That was it. Then I got about my day. I
Speaker 1: got really busy, and then I went back a couple
Speaker 1: of hours later and I don't know what had happened,
Speaker 1: but it had wigged out and it had sent my
Speaker 1: good morning text eight times. I'm not kidding. It looks
Speaker 1: like I had written good morning, good morning, good morning,
Speaker 1: good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning, and I
Speaker 1: got like, progressively more passive aggressive as the good morning's past. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I was like, why, why, why are you malfunctioning like this?
Speaker 1: Why are you doing me dirty like this? Do me
Speaker 1: like this? Anyway? So I had to write back again.
Speaker 1: So I was like a nine row texter, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not sure why. I'm not sure why
Speaker 1: I said this nine times and he hadn't written back
Speaker 1: to you then, and then I don't know what happened,
Speaker 1: but he must. He must his his profile must have
Speaker 1: been deleted. No, his phone must be bless him. He wrote,
Speaker 1: all or your phone really just wants you to talk
Speaker 1: to me something like he was trying to like make
Speaker 1: up for it. But surely he would know I didn't
Speaker 1: message him nine times, right, No, he probably thinks you're crazy,
Speaker 1: especially if he listen to this podcast. Okay, what was
Speaker 1: your sweet? My sweet? Is? I? Well, it hasn't happened yet,
Speaker 1: but I'm waking up early in the morning. And I
Speaker 1: am flying down to Adelaide tomorrow. I'm actually the first
Speaker 1: flight and god knows how long getting out of the bubble,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's going to feel finally like we're
Speaker 1: doing something. It's actually so rough, Like I mean, obviously,
Speaker 1: like we have so many of you guys are based
Speaker 1: in Melbourne, and we have so many people who have
Speaker 1: been listening to the podcast throughout your crazily extended lockdown,
Speaker 1: and like I know that sometimes it must sound like
Speaker 1: here we're just in a different world because we've just
Speaker 1: been able to kind of get on with life in
Speaker 1: some sort of relatively normal way. But yeah, like thinking
Speaker 1: of you, because it's just I'm so happy that things
Speaker 1: are starting to relax and that you guys have you
Speaker 1: can leave your houses and there's no five colonial limit anymore,
Speaker 1: and like all of this is going to be behind
Speaker 1: us and be a very very strange thing that one
Speaker 1: day we're going to tell our kids or our grandkids. Yea,
Speaker 1: hopefully you guys are really on the home stretch now.
Speaker 1: We genuinely we are. Our thoughts are with you all
Speaker 1: the time, all right, So my suck, my suck for
Speaker 1: the week. Well, I mean I think we all kind
Speaker 1: of know what that is, the fact that I needed
Speaker 1: to mentor I literally didn't get out of bed. So
Speaker 1: we recorded last week's episode on Monday, and then after
Speaker 1: we recorded, I went to bed, and then I didn't
Speaker 1: get out of bed for like six days. It was insane.
Speaker 1: Six days. I just stayed in bed. I walked maybe
Speaker 1: from the bed to the toilet, that was about it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes to the fridge if Matt wasn't home. But I
Speaker 1: just couldn't. I physically couldn't get out of bed. I've
Speaker 1: never ever felt so sick. I've never felt so depleted
Speaker 1: of energy. And so I yep, sound like I'm being
Speaker 1: super dramatic, but that was absolutely my suck. The entire
Speaker 1: week was my suck. My sweet is that today is
Speaker 1: the first day that I have literally left the confines
Speaker 1: of my apartment. I walked out of my house and
Speaker 1: I was like, that's what the sun like, Like you're
Speaker 1: melting like a vampire. Yeah, So like today has been.
Speaker 1: It's so nice to just feel healthy again and like
Speaker 1: to not take that for granted. But anyway, guys, thank
Speaker 1: you so much to everybody who's listened to another episode.
Speaker 1: We like, we love you, guys. We love like all
Speaker 1: of your involvement and your conversations happening on the Facebook
Speaker 1: page at the moment, it blows my mind. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: If you haven't watched sas, I'm like so hooked, it's disgusting.
Speaker 1: We can talk about it in the Facebook group. Get
Speaker 1: in there. If you've been watching it. Brit has some
Speaker 1: suppressed trauma about watching it. She hasn't seen the episodes yet,
Speaker 1: so she does need to catch up because honestly, if
Speaker 1: you haven't watched it, it is the best bit of
Speaker 1: reality TV going around at the moment. Anyway, back on
Speaker 1: track Life on Cut podcast. That's our Facebook group. We've
Speaker 1: also got the Instagram. If you're not following that, then
Speaker 1: do so because there are some very funny lolls going
Speaker 1: down there. And if you haven't, if you're one of
Speaker 1: the cheeky people that have listened to so many episodes,
Speaker 1: then haven't gotten on to Apple to leave us a
Speaker 1: review yet, then you're in the naughty book. Just do
Speaker 1: it a Laura in the naughty corner. That's what you're in.
Speaker 1: But yes, jump on and leave the review at Apple
Speaker 1: Podcasts because we will love you forever. Guys. We hope
Speaker 1: you took something away from today, and if just at
Speaker 1: the minimum, all we want you to know is that
Speaker 1: wherever you are in your journey, that is life. Wherever
Speaker 1: you are it is so okay because it is your journey. Now,
Speaker 1: he subscribe five stars, leave review, and share the love
Speaker 1: because we love love