Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today.
Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on Gadigal Land of the Urura
Speaker 2: Nation and also on Bungeelong Country. Hi guys, and welcome
Speaker 2: back to another episode of Not Life on Cut. It
Speaker 2: is that chun cut and I am Laura Burn.
Speaker 3: I am Laura's husband. My name is Maddie j W.
Speaker 2: I just say I'm Laura Burn and like I had
Speaker 2: to introduce my whole name just to really drive it home.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of people change my name.
Speaker 3: A lot of people who maybe joined us at the
Speaker 3: very first time who don't know who you are or
Speaker 3: who I am.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad that we've got that sald.
Speaker 3: Is it weird that do you ever call me your husband?
Speaker 2: M Yeah, Like I mean, I've transitioned from my partner
Speaker 2: to my husband. Although I did get around for a
Speaker 2: week last week without wearing my wedding rings because they
Speaker 2: were giving me dermatitis.
Speaker 3: And how convenience.
Speaker 2: I got hit on in this sauna. It's no, okay,
Speaker 2: no go on.
Speaker 3: Well no, I'm just annoyed because I was out the
Speaker 3: front of the sauna being like, where the hell is Laura,
Speaker 3: because we were late for picking up the kids, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't get a hit on fire, but
Speaker 3: make it quick.
Speaker 2: To me there. It wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to sit in the sauna in peace,
Speaker 2: and this person came and sat very close and then
Speaker 2: wanted to know my life story. And then you were
Speaker 2: at the front of the.
Speaker 3: Sauna pointing at my wrist watch going here right time
Speaker 3: the kids.
Speaker 2: Just to set what actually happened is I was in
Speaker 2: the sauna. This man sat down next to me, and
Speaker 2: then he started making small talk. He was being polite.
Speaker 2: He didn't do anything that was like unto ward. He
Speaker 2: didn't ask me out on a date, but it was
Speaker 2: like the beginnings of flirtation.
Speaker 3: What was he wearing, dts He.
Speaker 2: Was wearing yespetos oh good body, but he was in
Speaker 2: perfect shape. But I'm having this conversation with him, and
Speaker 2: I was trying to find the right opportunity to slip
Speaker 2: into the conversation that I had a husband and two children.
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, Matt walks in front
Speaker 2: of the windows of the sauna.
Speaker 3: My face against the glass, trying to peer in to
Speaker 3: see where you are, because it's quite it's very dark
Speaker 3: in the sauna. You can't see where people are.
Speaker 2: And it's quite foggy. And so there's Matt with his
Speaker 2: face up against the window and he's just looking at me,
Speaker 2: pointing at his watch, like, look at the time, and
Speaker 2: so that, yeah, that was it. That's the first time
Speaker 2: I've been hit on.
Speaker 3: Sorry years years, My apologies for cramping his style in there,
Speaker 3: but good on him for flirting with you in this
Speaker 3: because I can only imagine how sweaty you would have.
Speaker 2: Been peak sweatiness. You won't even look at me if
Speaker 2: I'm unshowered. If you can't have me at my worst,
Speaker 2: you don't deserve me at my best. Mage Johnson, go
Speaker 2: back in the sawn and then you can come with me.
Speaker 3: Look, no, hang on, I've got to confess. It's not
Speaker 3: a competition to the fact that I've also had multiple women.
Speaker 2: How often do you get hit on? Because like, truly,
Speaker 2: I know that I'm bringing this up and we're having
Speaker 2: a joke about it, but I reckon genuinely. That's the
Speaker 2: only time I've been hit on in the last year. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean like when I say last year, I don't
Speaker 2: mean like twenty days. Yeah, I mean in the last year.
Speaker 3: Look, it doesn't happen often. Most women come up to
Speaker 3: me and say, I love Laura, the podcast is great
Speaker 3: and your kids are gorgeous, and I'm like, get one something.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you don't.
Speaker 3: I know, I don't say that. I did on Sunday,
Speaker 3: just gone have a lady come up to me and
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
Speaker 2: Oh how did that go for you?
Speaker 3: Very awkward? What happens so awkward? I was at the bar.
Speaker 2: Was it awkward when you told her that you had
Speaker 2: two children and you were in a relationship?
Speaker 3: Well, do you know? It's one of those things when
Speaker 3: someone is in the beginning phases of hitting on you,
Speaker 3: like they're not really hitting on you, they're just being friendly, and.
Speaker 2: You don't want to be presumptuous because you don't want
Speaker 2: to be the person who's like, all this person's being nice,
Speaker 2: are they flirting with me?
Speaker 3: It's like someone goes, hey, how are you? And you
Speaker 3: excuse me, I'm married. How dare you? You don't want
Speaker 3: to be that dick, do Youah?
Speaker 2: Oh, no, I want you to be that dick.
Speaker 3: I was at the bar waiting for the bartender. I
Speaker 3: was looking at a photo on my phone of the kids,
Speaker 3: like our kids, plus nieces and nephews, lots of kids,
Speaker 3: all the children. Yeah, just have a phone just full
Speaker 3: of kids.
Speaker 2: If we have twenty four of them.
Speaker 3: There was literally there was so many kids in the
Speaker 3: one shot. And then she came up to me and
Speaker 3: said what are you doing? And it was just it
Speaker 3: was a weird moment where I had the photo of
Speaker 3: the kids on my phone, and.
Speaker 2: I also a weird thing to just approach someone when
Speaker 2: they're on their phone, probably ordering a drink, and then
Speaker 2: saying what are you doing phone?
Speaker 3: Unless she was like what are you actually doing looking
Speaker 3: at a photo of kids? But but I was kind
Speaker 3: of like, oh, you know, just just having a drink.
Speaker 3: And then she said what do you do for work?
Speaker 2: And you were like, I drink gin and I untang them.
Speaker 3: Have you not been listening.
Speaker 2: At midnight when our children are asleep? But that's what
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 3: No, I said, I think I said a bit of
Speaker 3: this bit of that, and she looked really good. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I was like a little so mysterious, And then
Speaker 3: in my head I was like, just tell her what
Speaker 3: you've been doing. And for those who aren't familiar, I've
Speaker 3: been filling in doing the weather on weekend today. So
Speaker 3: I answered the question with I'm a weather man, and
Speaker 3: she looked so confused.
Speaker 2: You've done the weather three times.
Speaker 3: And well, technically I am a weather man.
Speaker 2: Okay, how does the actual regular weather man feel about
Speaker 2: you saying that you're the weather man.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying it to everyone, am I. I'm not
Speaker 3: ordering a coffee and going by the way top of
Speaker 3: twenty four today. It's you know, it never happens. Let
Speaker 3: me have I can drop it once.
Speaker 2: Okay, you can say yes, yes, And what was her
Speaker 2: reaction at that time? And also do you think she
Speaker 2: was hitting on you or was she just being polite?
Speaker 4: Ah?
Speaker 3: I don't know, can't tell. I can't tell. She did
Speaker 3: say you guys always get it wrong, and then she
Speaker 3: walked away safe to say, I think I've still got it.
Speaker 2: Laura Burn, Well, that's you and me put it their
Speaker 2: power keep you. Last week, you're joined the turbulent ride
Speaker 2: that was you and I unpacking three episodes of The
Speaker 2: Bachelor and this week. This week we thought we were
Speaker 2: unpacking three episodes of The Bachelor, and.
Speaker 3: Then because no, yeah, someone mentioned it in Life on
Speaker 3: cart They're like, there's four episodes this week, and I
Speaker 3: was like, shut up, Yeah.
Speaker 2: They can't do that. They can't have fourteen hours of
Speaker 2: The Bachelor or one week of episode. No, no, there
Speaker 2: was four episodes.
Speaker 3: What are they doing?
Speaker 2: We were up to three am in the morning getting
Speaker 2: last week's episode finished. We decided that instead of killing ourselves,
Speaker 2: we're just gonna unpack three episodes and then we're gonna
Speaker 2: give you a little mini bonus ep with the last episode,
Speaker 2: because Jesus Christ, nobody can unpack that much Bachelor. Just
Speaker 2: in the saying that nobody can watch that much Bachelor
Speaker 2: in one week.
Speaker 3: How many episodes do you think they'll be next week?
Speaker 2: It's the rest of the whole season.
Speaker 3: If it ends next week, I mean, there's surelie there's
Speaker 3: not enough episodes left in the tank to keep on
Speaker 3: giving these extra episodes.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it was episode five where Osha came
Speaker 2: in and he kept on repeating that we were halfway
Speaker 2: through the season, so that would suggest to me that
Speaker 2: there's two more weeks.
Speaker 3: Yes, if this one's three episodes.
Speaker 2: And then we have a mini episodes, So this is four, four.
Speaker 3: Five, six, and then seven is a little added bonus,
Speaker 3: little cherry on top.
Speaker 2: And this has been a real journey. We started recording
Speaker 2: this episode in Sydney. We're finishing recording this episode in Barrons.
Speaker 2: We're heading away on holidays.
Speaker 3: And I've got a sow neck all right, really badly?
Speaker 2: Should we get into this?
Speaker 3: My liver is like, where's all this gin coming from?
Speaker 3: What the fuck?
Speaker 2: What is happening? There has been a lot of chatter
Speaker 2: in last like in the Facebook.
Speaker 3: Can we get a sponsor?
Speaker 2: Normally when you have alcohol sponsors come on an episode,
Speaker 2: it's all about the responsible service of alcohol. And here's
Speaker 2: you and I just the drunk parents at eleven o'clock
Speaker 2: at night, My.
Speaker 3: Love, Can we get a cucumb a sponsor? Because there
Speaker 3: is I'm gonna say half in my drink right now.
Speaker 2: So I was making it and then I went onto
Speaker 2: autopilot and forgot that I was making G and T's
Speaker 2: and I thought I was making a salad.
Speaker 3: The tomatoes in here as well, the goats thread It
Speaker 3: was a weird choice, but.
Speaker 2: It kind of works all right. So on today's episode,
Speaker 2: we are unpacking, as we said, episode four, five and six.
Speaker 3: With anyone who may be unfamiliar with what happened episode one,
Speaker 3: two and three. The big drama is with Oh.
Speaker 2: No, no, no no, let's just you go back and listen
Speaker 2: to the episode. Don't have time to recat so the downloads.
Speaker 3: Let's recap the recab. Fuck, how long is this going
Speaker 3: to be?
Speaker 2: If you want to know what happened on the last
Speaker 2: three episodes, go and listen to the other episode. Okay,
Speaker 2: we're going to get into episode number four.
Speaker 3: Thank you for stopping.
Speaker 2: God, somebody's got to hold you back. Okay, this episode
Speaker 2: kicks off with Tash. Now, Tash, if you can even remember,
Speaker 2: it feels like so long ago. Now Tash's apologizing to
Speaker 2: Jessica for outing the fact that she's in a polyamorous
Speaker 2: relationship with Damien.
Speaker 3: That feels like that was last month.
Speaker 2: It was truly in bachelor times. It probably happened about
Speaker 2: three weeks ago. Yes, because so much there's been so
Speaker 2: much content, So she apologizes. She doesn't really mean it though.
Speaker 2: Oh so yesterday all the girls were attacking me because
Speaker 2: I revealed to Jed that Jessica's got a boyfriend. Well,
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I have anything to really apologize for, so.
Speaker 3: We come out of the world's worst apology I've ever heard.
Speaker 3: But now, Laura, it is time for the group dates.
Speaker 3: And the thing about these group dates is that they've
Speaker 3: all been based around something that's of interest for the
Speaker 3: bachelor's is that what does that make sense? Something of interest? Anyway,
Speaker 3: Felix is going to win.
Speaker 2: Wild because Felix's favorite thing in the world is wet
Speaker 2: women in bikinis.
Speaker 3: Oh stuck on the Gold Coast, it.
Speaker 5: Went and wild by beautiful women. It's tough hanging out
Speaker 5: with girls at bikinis all day. I've been through some
Speaker 5: tough periods of my life, and I'd probably put this
Speaker 5: somewhere near the bottom seven hundred of those. But it's
Speaker 5: a beautiful.
Speaker 3: Day right now. He's staring at all the girls in bikinis,
Speaker 3: and those girls aren't even the ones that are on
Speaker 3: the group date. Random girls that went wild. Everyone's like
Speaker 3: producers are like Felix. Girls over here on the right side.
Speaker 2: They'll give me more. Then we leave. When Wild we
Speaker 2: go to Thomas's date, and Thomas is doing something that
Speaker 2: he represents who he is, so of course he is
Speaker 2: on a wellness retreat.
Speaker 3: Of course he bloody is, isn't he?
Speaker 2: And what way to better get to know someone than
Speaker 2: to say absolutely nothing and stare into their eyes.
Speaker 3: I find these types of activities just so woo woo.
Speaker 2: You are not open and willing enough.
Speaker 3: How I am. I'm very open, thank you very much.
Speaker 2: Really, remember when we tried to do we tried to
Speaker 2: do the intimacy challenge and I loved it and steer
Speaker 2: into you got the giggles and couldn't stare into my eyes.
Speaker 2: You don't even know who I am. Revealed so much
Speaker 2: of you that I didn't even know was there.
Speaker 3: You were like an onion and I was peeling off layers.
Speaker 2: You don't know who I am in my soul?
Speaker 3: I know I'm looking at it right now, and who
Speaker 3: am I? It's beautiful. These activities, come on, admit they're
Speaker 3: just stupid.
Speaker 2: I think that you and I. Unfortunately for us, we
Speaker 2: rate very low down when it comes to like wellness
Speaker 2: and meditation stuff. We don't have a lot of like
Speaker 2: bandwidth for it. Whereas for somebody who is very much
Speaker 2: into meditation and into like soul connection and those conversations.
Speaker 2: They would get a lot out of this date and
Speaker 2: clearly didn't have to say one single word to Kiki
Speaker 2: because he got a lot out of the date.
Speaker 6: You just show unconditional love to the people around you planet,
Speaker 6: like literally everything. It's just amazing to be in your presence.
Speaker 6: And then at one point, I also saw a little
Speaker 6: bit of pain that I think made you who you
Speaker 6: are today. And yeah, you should be so proud of yourself,
Speaker 6: you know you like it at the most. One of
Speaker 6: the most amazing humans I've met.
Speaker 3: Do you know who else was feeling a bit of pain?
Speaker 3: The poor other girls on the group date because they
Speaker 3: have to sit there staring at each other while Keikey
Speaker 3: and Thomas get all the attention.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a bad call. That's not really a it's
Speaker 2: not a group date activity, is it. That's a single
Speaker 2: date activity.
Speaker 3: You'd be like, what the fuck am I doing here?
Speaker 2: Why are the other girls sitting there steering into each
Speaker 2: other's eyes?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Are they going to start dating? What's what? Thomas? What
Speaker 3: are you thinking?
Speaker 7: Mate?
Speaker 2: Yeah? They got the short straw. That was very I reckon,
Speaker 2: I'm going to call it. Now we're almost halfway through
Speaker 2: the series. I reckon, it's keiky. I reckon, she's getting it.
Speaker 3: I feel like he is into herbit. What about Leah.
Speaker 3: Let's not forget that he cried when he had the speed.
Speaker 2: Day, but she's had no fucking time. No, I forgot
Speaker 2: the leader even exists.
Speaker 3: Is Leah still there?
Speaker 2: She left? She didn't really?
Speaker 3: Okay, let's talk about.
Speaker 2: Jed all right, Jed? I forgot what Jed did? What
Speaker 2: did Jed?
Speaker 5: So?
Speaker 3: Jed went to the Sachi and you were like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, this place is crazy. There's a Vasacei hotel.
Speaker 2: And I don't sound like that you did?
Speaker 3: You did? I was like you, okay, Laura, But I
Speaker 3: was like we.
Speaker 2: Should go there. This is great advertising.
Speaker 3: I've actually never been there.
Speaker 2: No, I just saw like from the very first couple
Speaker 2: of shots, I was like, wow, this looks very Versacei esque.
Speaker 2: And then you looked at me like I was like
Speaker 2: I was just woken up from a coma. You were like,
Speaker 2: it is the versaty a versace Sorry for being so uncultured,
Speaker 2: such an uncultured swine.
Speaker 3: Well, I've always.
Speaker 2: Done such a sweaty potato.
Speaker 3: You I mean, your word's not mine. But I've always
Speaker 3: ard about the Bassace in Coeens and I feel like
Speaker 3: it's a thing. Oh I wonder why there's no Versaci
Speaker 3: in Sydney of Melbourne.
Speaker 2: Only in the Gold Coast classy VERSACEI it's.
Speaker 3: Very Gold Coast. But Jed was drinking champagne and he
Speaker 3: was having a panther session, so the girls and him
Speaker 3: were just getting the nails done.
Speaker 2: I feel like that was the world's most boring group date,
Speaker 2: Like nothing happened. That's kind of like a mini cocktail party,
Speaker 2: sitting around talking and drinking. That's a cocktail party, not
Speaker 2: a group date.
Speaker 3: Well, I thought that Jasmine was going to do pretty well,
Speaker 3: but you had a really good speed date that they
Speaker 3: had the yoga thing. But obviously there's been the drama
Speaker 3: that's happening with the women. The only fans account kind
Speaker 3: of came out revealed by Tash.
Speaker 7: Yes.
Speaker 3: Yes, So Jasmine sits down with Jed and she's like, hey,
Speaker 3: I've got to tell you something. Ready, this is big.
Speaker 3: They spice it up, it's going to be a big reveal.
Speaker 3: She drops a bomb and she goes I had an
Speaker 3: only fans.
Speaker 2: Account, and to be fair, Jed responds to that in
Speaker 2: the only like a reasonable and acceptable way to respond
Speaker 2: to it. It was such a non event.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was like, ah, it's fine. It's almost as
Speaker 3: if she just woke up and said, I like it
Speaker 3: in carrots for lunch.
Speaker 2: Although I think that that would be weirder if that
Speaker 2: was the thing that she bought him aside.
Speaker 3: For I need to tell you something. Are there any carrots?
Speaker 2: It all sizes of small carrots, big carrots, dirty carrots.
Speaker 3: Said dirty carrots, dirty carrots. What'd you say? I said, dirty,
Speaker 3: dirty carrots.
Speaker 2: But also thirty carrots.
Speaker 3: Very specific.
Speaker 2: That's a lot of carrots, all kinds of carrots. Anyway,
Speaker 2: So Jasmine's into carrots. Jed doesn't care about the carrots.
Speaker 2: He just wants to talk about Tash, and that makes
Speaker 2: Jasmine very very frustrated.
Speaker 3: And I think I think all of a sudden, Jasmine's
Speaker 3: off Jed carrots. I'm so Jasmine whips out a carrot
Speaker 3: starts eating it in front of Jede. It's very confusing
Speaker 3: at the Versace Hotel as well. Thank you very much. Okay,
Speaker 3: I heard a rumor what you know that we've seen
Speaker 3: Jedi future?
Speaker 2: Are we starting a roommate right now? Or is it truth?
Speaker 2: Should we put a disclaimer in that we don't know
Speaker 2: anything and this is probably not fact?
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly that?
Speaker 2: Okay, well, Mary, J's making up stories about people.
Speaker 3: I read somewhere on the life on cut facebook group.
Speaker 2: That must be true.
Speaker 3: Okay, I can't remember who said it, but someone did
Speaker 3: stay it. Apparently the reason why Jed never gets into
Speaker 3: board shorts and never gets into any kind of water,
Speaker 3: He's always wearing pants.
Speaker 2: Because he's a vampire.
Speaker 3: Well potentially potentially, we don't know. We don't know.
Speaker 2: He does go out in the daylight though, maybe he's
Speaker 2: a special kind of vampire.
Speaker 3: He apparently has a very offensive tattoo, so he will
Speaker 3: not put shorts on because it offended some of the women. Apparently,
Speaker 3: there you go, Do you know what it's off?
Speaker 2: Not sure like any was there any indication?
Speaker 3: Sorry, I have no more information.
Speaker 2: If you know Jed and you know his tattoo, maybe
Speaker 2: slide in the DMS. We like a bit of saucy,
Speaker 2: spicy true real facts here.
Speaker 3: I looked at his Instagram, couldn't see any leg no
Speaker 3: short picks.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's incriminating, isn't it?
Speaker 3: All right? Well, look things to be investigated moving forward.
Speaker 2: I'm sure that we would absolutely not get to the
Speaker 2: botto of it and probably talk about carrots for a
Speaker 2: bit more.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about Yuri. Everyone loves Uri.
Speaker 2: Oh she's a fucking queen. I wish she's stuck around longer.
Speaker 3: I think, okay, this is very controversial. Can I say this?
Speaker 3: I just think that Uri was a bit butt hurt.
Speaker 2: No, she was not butt hurt. She was just over
Speaker 2: the Oh my god, shut up. That made me so
Speaker 2: mad at you. Uri is a fucking queen. How dare you?
Speaker 3: I agree? Uri is the best?
Speaker 2: Yes? And okay, so if you don't know what happened,
Speaker 2: Yuri is literally the only person who is in Felix's
Speaker 2: group of girls who at this point in time is
Speaker 2: seeing sense or reason. I just feel like this is
Speaker 2: all the games for him. Like I just feel like
Speaker 2: he's not taking this.
Speaker 1: Seriously and that he wants us to be fighting over him.
Speaker 3: Okay, so Uri is starting to see the real Felix,
Speaker 3: and good on her, but not everybody is seeing with
Speaker 3: such clarity.
Speaker 4: Felix is hot, like he walks in and he's just
Speaker 4: big and tall, and I just think we've been an
Speaker 4: absolute power couple.
Speaker 2: We absolutely would be we take over the world.
Speaker 4: Imagine, I just picturesque like being hot, having great set, flag,
Speaker 4: all these incredible things.
Speaker 2: I can see our future so clearly.
Speaker 4: I really kind of me popping out some beautiful children,
Speaker 4: big tall, strapping children.
Speaker 3: I can see it.
Speaker 2: It's there.
Speaker 3: For the love of God, Why doesn't Chrystal get a
Speaker 3: one on one date?
Speaker 2: Crystal is my favorite person there, best on the show.
Speaker 2: She is best on ground? Is that what it's called?
Speaker 2: What's based on Groundmy is that the best player of
Speaker 2: the match?
Speaker 3: Well said, Oh, I guess that would be man of
Speaker 3: the match.
Speaker 2: No, well, woman of the match. Who cares?
Speaker 3: You're best on ground?
Speaker 2: Best on ground? She is my absolute favorite. But she
Speaker 2: hasn't had a lot of airtime just yet. But you
Speaker 2: know what it's coming.
Speaker 3: It's coming.
Speaker 2: Oh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Speaker 3: I was confused at this point. I didn't know if
Speaker 3: it was like a new group date. But it's a
Speaker 3: group date, she said.
Speaker 2: Very hard to unpack because on the Old Bachelor it
Speaker 2: used to be formulaic, and I liked that because it
Speaker 2: was safe.
Speaker 3: We're intelligent people.
Speaker 2: No, this is very convoluted and hard. It used to
Speaker 2: be single date, group date eliminate or rose ceremony elimination,
Speaker 2: and now it's group date, extended group date, polyamory, swapping partners.
Speaker 2: Someone goes home, but not everyone. I don't even know.
Speaker 2: I don't know what's happening. I don't know who I am,
Speaker 2: and I'm very tired and I'm a little bit drunk.
Speaker 3: Look, it's very inconsistent. But there is one consistency, though.
Speaker 2: And that is that Felix will always make out with
Speaker 2: Tilly a date, every single group date, without fail, and
Speaker 2: nobody was happy about it. I want Phoenix to do
Speaker 2: that with May Malex.
Speaker 4: I'm upseairs, Felix, I'm upseairs.
Speaker 2: So this is the point in the series where Felix
Speaker 2: reaches peak fuck boary or boy fuckery.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: So the Key knows that everyone's going to be annoyed.
Speaker 2: He's well aware that he's not supposed to kiss Tilly.
Speaker 2: He even says, oh, I shouldn't be doing this because
Speaker 2: it's going to make everyone upset. So then he goes
Speaker 2: back into the group setting where all the girls are.
Speaker 3: And he's like, what's the problem. Hey.
Speaker 2: Not only does he say what's the problem, he then
Speaker 2: blames them for being annoyed at him. He's like, oh, no, no,
Speaker 2: you don't know how hard it is.
Speaker 3: For me my feelings into consideration.
Speaker 2: What this is what he had to say about that
Speaker 2: they're looking from their perspective and not an ounce of
Speaker 2: my perspective is taken into this.
Speaker 5: You know, hang me in the town square, but you're
Speaker 5: on a show where you're dating one guy.
Speaker 3: So not only is he gaslighting the hell out of
Speaker 3: the women. And I love the fact that I've used
Speaker 3: gaslighting more in the last half an hour than I
Speaker 3: have in the last six months.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you tell me I'm gaslighting you.
Speaker 3: I know, I just say, when I'm losing the argument,
Speaker 3: I'm like, you're gaslighting me.
Speaker 2: You do, and that is gaslighting. You will literally be
Speaker 2: losing the argument and you'll be like, why are you
Speaker 2: gaslighting me?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, fucking just call me Felix. Okay. But
Speaker 3: then in this argument, Felix then uses the polyamorous relationship
Speaker 3: with Jess to his defense.
Speaker 5: Someone in my group has a boyfriend, and I'm not
Speaker 5: off put by that. I am not off put by
Speaker 5: someone in my group that currently has a boyfriend at home.
Speaker 5: But apparently it's uncomfortable if I kiss someone else that's
Speaker 5: in my cohort.
Speaker 3: Hang on a second, Felix, I've been doing some detective
Speaker 3: work and I think you may have been a little
Speaker 3: upset by it.
Speaker 2: Here's a little gram from last week's episode, because although
Speaker 2: we may have been drunk, we were paying attention.
Speaker 8: So this is really making quite It is because to
Speaker 8: find out that you with someone.
Speaker 3: So I sit here and I'm like.
Speaker 7: You kid, like this is just it's just a big
Speaker 7: shock to the system because you know, I was really
Speaker 7: sort of warming to you, and I don't like how it.
Speaker 3: You know, I've.
Speaker 7: Received it from here, which is at your fault. It's
Speaker 7: just a lot to take in and I'm just quiet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am upset with.
Speaker 2: YadA, YadA, YadA, yadda. After that, Felix carries on for
Speaker 2: a bit longer about how this whole process is so
Speaker 2: challenging for him and he's having such a hard time
Speaker 2: with all these beautiful for women.
Speaker 3: For the record, Felix, I love you. Why except someone's
Speaker 3: gonna love him At the moment, it's just me and Tilly.
Speaker 2: You're doing God's work. You're doing God's work. But then,
Speaker 2: apart from that drama, there's another little bit of spicy
Speaker 2: thoughts and drama that's happening over in the Thomas camp.
Speaker 3: Jasmine is this is now turning into maps and I'm
Speaker 3: fine with that.
Speaker 2: Well, Jasmine is swapping relationships. She's decided that she's no
Speaker 2: longer team Jed and she wants to be team Thomas.
Speaker 2: And I think that if you can be like into
Speaker 2: Jed and into Thomas, then you are somebody who truly
Speaker 2: does not.
Speaker 3: Have a time. Well, I think she was never really
Speaker 3: into Jed. But I don't know if Thomas is into Jasmine.
Speaker 3: We will find out. But then but then we've got
Speaker 3: to talk about the big the big news.
Speaker 2: What's the big news Kiki?
Speaker 3: Oh what happened with I kind of remember we if
Speaker 3: you got to talk about the fact that Keiki has two.
Speaker 2: Kids as a mom.
Speaker 3: There's always a mom on the series.
Speaker 2: There is, do you know what? It's always the mum
Speaker 2: that wins. Yes, not Designs she won, Alex Alex Nation,
Speaker 2: she won. It's always the mummums have got it. Did
Speaker 2: we have a mum on our season?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 3: I was like, who was the mom as a mum?
Speaker 4: Here?
Speaker 2: There was no We were the only season with no mums.
Speaker 2: That's very discriminatory to moms.
Speaker 3: No shame.
Speaker 2: Sorry for all the mums who applied and didn't get in.
Speaker 3: This is great jeopardy, though.
Speaker 2: I'm glad that they didn't get in because they probably would.
Speaker 3: Have won, because, yeah, if there was a mum there,
Speaker 3: you would have been in trouble.
Speaker 2: You like kids, do you would have picked the woman
Speaker 2: with the kids.
Speaker 3: I like mums as well. Oh, here we go, bagate.
Speaker 3: So will there be enough to derail the Thomas and
Speaker 3: Kiky train?
Speaker 4: Nah?
Speaker 2: This is the jeopardy that they're trying to like spice
Speaker 2: in there. I'm a one hundred percent I reckon that
Speaker 2: Thomas is picking Kiki. I don't even have a debate
Speaker 2: about it. I am signed, sealed, delivered, But I like
Speaker 2: a bit of jeopardy just sprinkled in there to keep
Speaker 2: everyone guessing.
Speaker 3: I will give you. I will give you fifty dollars
Speaker 3: if you can tell me the names of the women
Speaker 3: who went home at the Row ceremony. Oh, make it quick.
Speaker 2: I couldn't even recall their faces.
Speaker 3: Okay, can you recall a name? Give me one name.
Speaker 3: You can't say Yuri because for the record, Yuri walks.
Speaker 2: Oh, Yuri Okay, can we just take a moment to
Speaker 2: appreciate Queen Yuri though, and how wonderful she is and
Speaker 2: what she does. Sure, she just gives the most backhanded
Speaker 2: compliment to Felix.
Speaker 3: What did she say again?
Speaker 2: She walks in and she says something along the lines
Speaker 2: of it's not you, it's me. I was looking for
Speaker 2: somebody in this experiment or whatever who has the qualities
Speaker 2: that you just don't possess.
Speaker 3: Ooh, and I wish you luck. She and then she
Speaker 3: spat on him, which I thought was a bit much.
Speaker 3: I wasn't sure if the spitting was necessary. I'm me.
Speaker 2: Even the spitting, I think it was fine. But then
Speaker 2: she smiled and walked out. It was very sasay.
Speaker 3: Marnie also left money, went home, someone else went home.
Speaker 3: And then and then to wrap up episode four, thank god,
Speaker 3: Jasmine said no to Jed's rose. But then get this,
Speaker 3: she said yes, no, then Thomas, I'm getting so.
Speaker 2: I honestly think this episode was the most convoluted episode
Speaker 2: that there was. The other ones are so easy because
Speaker 2: all that happens is polyamory, but this one let.
Speaker 3: Me, Okay, I've got this. So she said no to
Speaker 3: Jed's rose, and then and then one rose left. Who's
Speaker 3: going to give it Thomas? Who does he give it to?
Speaker 2: Jasmine?
Speaker 3: Jazzmini?
Speaker 2: Do I still win fifty bucks?
Speaker 3: Not at all? He got nothing right? All right, Time
Speaker 3: for a drink and episode five coming up next?
Speaker 2: Thank god we finished that one Homely. I'm just so
Speaker 2: glad that last episode's over.
Speaker 3: That was it was a hard one.
Speaker 2: Hard.
Speaker 3: It's tricky. You know what else is hard?
Speaker 2: This episode? What is it You're going to say?
Speaker 3: My cock was so guilty? Got me?
Speaker 2: It's also not it's so not at all, so far
Speaker 2: from being hard.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, it's pretty flaccid.
Speaker 2: The saddest miserable.
Speaker 3: Hang on a second.
Speaker 2: This is where we get to when it's eleven thirty
Speaker 2: at night, and this is the point in the record
Speaker 2: where all the wheels fall.
Speaker 3: Off the wag. Maybe flaccid, but it's not sad. Okay,
Speaker 3: shows your wizard sleeve? Go on, what's it looking like? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I thought so.
Speaker 2: That is getting edited out of the Podka Live it
Speaker 2: and Keisha, that is disgusting. Why not you're getting fucking
Speaker 2: canceled power Kisha, please remove that. I'm very sorry, and
Speaker 2: I know you're going to message me and say ha ha,
Speaker 2: can I leave it in? And the answer is no.
Speaker 2: Am I happy that that last episode is done?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Look, it was a tricky one, this episode. Episode five.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm excited about this one.
Speaker 3: Big fan Episode five?
Speaker 2: Why did you like Episode five?
Speaker 3: I think this is the episode that really solidifies that
Speaker 3: Jed is my ultimate fate. I love him.
Speaker 2: I thought they said that I cried.
Speaker 3: I cried in this episode.
Speaker 2: You did cry? Yeah, it's because you talked about himself
Speaker 2: when he was a little kid and as a dad,
Speaker 2: got your little dad. Juice is flowing. He was ready
Speaker 2: to impregnant me again.
Speaker 3: Let's get into it.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we started off this episode in the most
Speaker 2: spectacular way, and that is marg Tash and CJ just
Speaker 2: yeeped themselves out of the match mansion. They decided. Do
Speaker 2: you know what they did? They had a hissy fit
Speaker 2: that Jasmine got the rose they didn't.
Speaker 3: This is not kind to say. This is not what
Speaker 3: was shown on the show. This is Laura doing her
Speaker 3: like two and two to make five. So let's we
Speaker 3: don't know this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we kind of do, because I can't remember who
Speaker 2: it was that said it. One person said it or
Speaker 2: and they implied it, and so then I might be exaggerating,
Speaker 2: but let's just go with it, okay, CJ and Marny, Marge, Tash, CJ,
Speaker 2: I don't even care.
Speaker 3: Let's do it, marg March, maj Marjorie. Is it Marjorie?
Speaker 3: I wrote down Marjorie? Was that her name?
Speaker 2: And your name was Marjorie?
Speaker 3: Was it? Fucking really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Not Margaret anyway.
Speaker 3: Not surprised, Tash. I was very surprised about.
Speaker 2: You look truly surprised. But you didn't let me get
Speaker 2: to my theory.
Speaker 3: Sorry, go on, go on? That was that wasn't Laura,
Speaker 3: Laura having a shiver.
Speaker 2: Okay, my theory is this. Marge, Tash and c J
Speaker 2: staged in intervention. They were like, fuck you you Jasmine,
Speaker 2: you can't stay here, and if she stays here, we're going.
Speaker 2: And the producers were like, well, that's kind of how
Speaker 2: the Bachelor works now, like Jasmine gets to stay because
Speaker 2: she got a rose, and they were like no, and
Speaker 2: they probably had a few too many champagnes at this time,
Speaker 2: and they were like, well she stays, we're leaving. And
Speaker 2: then the morning rolled around and they were like, fuck,
Speaker 2: now we've got to leave.
Speaker 3: The producers are like are you guys going to pack
Speaker 3: your bags? Now?
Speaker 2: Your bags are packed for you and the car is down, sir.
Speaker 2: And so then they had to leave, and by then
Speaker 2: they were like, see, we didn't want to be here anyway.
Speaker 2: And then Asher appears out of nowhere at the batchpad
Speaker 2: or them, I don't even know which, there's too many batchpads.
Speaker 2: Now he appears in front of Jed and Thomas to
Speaker 2: tell them the news that three of the women have
Speaker 2: just let themselves go.
Speaker 3: And I think the guys took it pretty well. I
Speaker 3: didn't want to say bye, and they didn't want to
Speaker 3: say goodbye. Actually, you know, they're on their way home
Speaker 3: right now. Wow. Did they leave a message or anything? No, okay,
Speaker 3: they just they just chose to leave. I felt sorry
Speaker 3: for Jed, I really did. And I know that I'm
Speaker 3: not sorry that Tash is gone because I think she
Speaker 3: definitely wasn't there for the right reason. Sorry to be
Speaker 3: really cliche, but I thought Jed just needed her there
Speaker 3: to get that little like perk up, you know, you
Speaker 3: just needed a little bit of a boost.
Speaker 2: She was a cheerleader for him.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, but this is going to come as no surprise
Speaker 2: to anyone because we've all seen the ads, we've all
Speaker 2: seen the teas well. I mean by this episode, the
Speaker 2: ads will be out again, and that is she's coming back.
Speaker 2: She's we all knew she's.
Speaker 3: I knew she would.
Speaker 2: She's not staying away. I reckon. As soon as she left,
Speaker 2: the producers were like, oh fuck, get her back.
Speaker 3: The car was literally just parked around the corner.
Speaker 2: But they were like CJ and March.
Speaker 3: Yeah, CJ and Margin like can we come back? You
Speaker 3: shut up and you stay, you stay outside, get back
Speaker 3: coming through. I didn't like, and I just I didn't
Speaker 3: like episode four that there weren't any single dates. So
Speaker 3: I'm very happy that now we're getting back into the
Speaker 3: single dates.
Speaker 2: Because yeah, and also group dates when there's so many
Speaker 2: people and so many things going on making.
Speaker 3: It and it's just really making out with Felix, that's
Speaker 3: all that happened.
Speaker 2: So heading into single dates, single dates, we have Felix
Speaker 2: who takes Jess on a single date.
Speaker 3: Playing basketball Coarsey bloody.
Speaker 2: Is Jess has fantastic hair. That's what I think every
Speaker 2: time I see Jess.
Speaker 3: She has some milky skin. Can I say milky skin?
Speaker 3: Is that a compliment?
Speaker 2: Milky skin and fantastic hair. Yeah, we'll call her milky
Speaker 2: from now.
Speaker 3: I don't know how she's coping on the Gold Coast.
Speaker 3: She's so much suns that must be a bloody nightmare
Speaker 3: for her. Fifty poor old Jess.
Speaker 2: And there is another nightmare, and it's the fact that
Speaker 2: she's looking to be in a relationship but she's already
Speaker 2: in a relationship since Fairy.
Speaker 3: I'm trying. I'm trying Laura as best as I possibly
Speaker 3: can to understand what is going on here, because she
Speaker 3: she's she is polyamorous, but she's not in a polyamorous
Speaker 3: relationship with Damien.
Speaker 2: With Demo, she is in a polyamorous relationship. It's just
Speaker 2: that she's the only one who's able or willing to
Speaker 2: explore other connections.
Speaker 3: Right. So Demo is like, you're fucking what now? So
Speaker 3: where are you going with your bags packed?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 3: The Bachelor? That's weird?
Speaker 8: What for?
Speaker 2: And he's like, I'll love you anyway. I I mean,
Speaker 2: we'll get into it in the next episode. There's a
Speaker 2: lot to unpack the poor Demo, But as two people
Speaker 2: who have never been in polyamorous relationships, it's hard for
Speaker 2: us to comment on how tricky this situation is anything
Speaker 2: that I think that I can comment on in terms
Speaker 2: of how this is kind of shaping up. Is the
Speaker 2: fact that Felix has said he wants a monogamous relationship,
Speaker 2: so it seems like fundamentally what they want out of
Speaker 2: their relationship.
Speaker 3: Is not aligned.
Speaker 2: He is not aligned, So I think, like, how is
Speaker 2: it that you can I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 2: Felix is so into Jess, and Jess is literally telling
Speaker 2: him I am not the person for you because I
Speaker 2: want something completely different to you, and Felix is like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: you know what, Let's see if she changes her mind.
Speaker 3: You did say something when we were watching the episode
Speaker 3: that I thought was very, very clever, And I don't
Speaker 3: know if this is maybe something that should be saved
Speaker 3: episode six.
Speaker 2: Save it, keep them guessing, build a suspense.
Speaker 3: Sorry about that, all right.
Speaker 2: So Felix on this date, sits down and has a
Speaker 2: bit of a one on one with Jess where they
Speaker 2: talk about the fact that she's in a polyamorous relationship,
Speaker 2: and Felix is kind of asking Jess in a roundabout way,
Speaker 2: whether it's that she wants to be in an open
Speaker 2: relationship or whether she's just afraid of commitment.
Speaker 3: Do you think you have commitment issues?
Speaker 8: I don't think I have commitment issues. I'm just very
Speaker 8: corshous and I'm not going to commit until it feels
Speaker 8: one hundred percent right.
Speaker 7: And how long do you think it usually takes until
Speaker 7: you can feel I.
Speaker 8: Don't know, maybe like up to three four months to
Speaker 8: be honest, but then other picks up against it.
Speaker 3: The irony here, Laura is that Felix has never been
Speaker 3: in a long term relationship, so who the hell is
Speaker 3: he'd ask his questions?
Speaker 2: Do you think that it's one of those situations where
Speaker 2: like like attracts like. So he's like, oh, I've seen
Speaker 2: this before. You actually have a commitment phoebe because I'm
Speaker 2: a commitment phobe as well.
Speaker 3: We should spend the rest of our lives together and hating.
Speaker 2: It, afraid of each other, afraid of loving each other.
Speaker 2: That sounds truly complicated.
Speaker 3: Enough of Felix and Jess, let's get onto Jed and
Speaker 3: I can't say her name right, Alicia, Hey, she's not Italian?
Speaker 3: Getting confused? Apologies?
Speaker 2: So Jen and Alicia? They actually, I mean, we'll go
Speaker 2: into how nice this date was, because it was really beautiful,
Speaker 2: But it starts off with Jed saying that he doesn't
Speaker 2: want people to think that he's just about whacking drums,
Speaker 2: you know, like there's more to him than just smacking
Speaker 2: things around.
Speaker 1: I want to show her that it's not just me
Speaker 1: whacking a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 3: So to convince Alysia that he's not all about just
Speaker 3: smashing drums, he smashes the drums for the entire date.
Speaker 3: I didn't think, Laura that.
Speaker 2: I mean, he didn't smash the drums for the entire
Speaker 2: It was a good, solid three minute drum.
Speaker 3: Solo, Laura. I don't think anyone out that actually believed
Speaker 3: that he played the drums for the entire date.
Speaker 2: That was it.
Speaker 3: I feel like Jed. Sorry, I used to beat box
Speaker 3: in high school, So can.
Speaker 2: You do a bit if you're beat boxing? It's very good.
Speaker 3: No, not at all. I'm like, I'm like the old
Speaker 3: school Jed. That's why I like him so much. We
Speaker 3: get each other, we get beats, we get rhythm, we
Speaker 3: got the moves it.
Speaker 2: I want to say this on behalf of every girl
Speaker 2: who's ever dated a musician.
Speaker 7: Ever.
Speaker 2: Anyone who's dated a musician has been in a situation
Speaker 2: where their love interest has made them listen to them
Speaker 2: play music, and you've had to just sit there and
Speaker 2: pretend like you've enjoyed it. In Alyssia's defense, she seemed
Speaker 2: like she truly did enjoy it. She did, she did.
Speaker 2: Maybe they really are the perfect match.
Speaker 3: I didn't think they had any chemistry whatsoever. However, this date, Jesus,
Speaker 3: how do you feel now? Yeah, they're meant to be.
Speaker 2: This was okay, we take them. He's a little bit,
Speaker 2: but this turned into honestly one of my favorite parts,
Speaker 2: maybe even one of my favorite parts of Bachelor's of
Speaker 2: all time. Jed goes into talking about his childhood and
Speaker 2: how he was really bullied at school.
Speaker 3: Very different, very feminine.
Speaker 2: Yeah bylin, he says, you know, like being someone who
Speaker 2: is heterosexual but really likes to dress in a feminine way,
Speaker 2: He's never felt like he's been able to fully be
Speaker 2: himself or express himself. And it's just such a beautiful moment,
Speaker 2: to the point where Matt was crying on the couch
Speaker 2: and it was so sweet.
Speaker 3: Well, but if I see a Groman cry, I'll cry
Speaker 3: as well. I'll join in. But it was a really vulnerable,
Speaker 3: very sweet moment, and I really I really enjoyed seeing
Speaker 3: that side of Jed, and it was the most honest
Speaker 3: moment that I've seen from a bachelor in forever.
Speaker 2: Well, just to give you a little insight into the
Speaker 2: moment that really sent Matty Jay off the edge, it
Speaker 2: is this.
Speaker 3: I tell my little self that you know you can
Speaker 3: wear so you can Yeah, I tell myself that you
Speaker 3: can actually wear an outfit like this and and have
Speaker 3: a beautiful woman that does accept you, and you can
Speaker 3: play the drums.
Speaker 2: And moving on from Jed, we now have Thomas and
Speaker 2: Thomas is on a single date with Keiki except dun dundu.
Speaker 2: Kekey told us on the last episode that she has
Speaker 2: children and Felix doesn't want Thomas.
Speaker 3: You get that wrong? And Thomas I was like, I
Speaker 3: didn't didn't believe can I may?
Speaker 2: I yes?
Speaker 3: So Felix no Thomas, Thomas, Thomas wants to have kids.
Speaker 3: Kiki don't want him anymore.
Speaker 2: She's got two, well, she still wants a own, she
Speaker 2: just doesn't want more. She doesn't want to give those on.
Speaker 3: She's like, you can have mine, taking the yours.
Speaker 2: She's like, I already did it already, I have already
Speaker 2: made those regrets. I don't want to have more of
Speaker 2: that it would be hard.
Speaker 3: Imagine having an eighteen and a nine year old your
Speaker 3: new partner being like, let's start a new family.
Speaker 2: She did not look too impressed, and not to impress.
Speaker 2: She was trying to answer the question honestly, which was
Speaker 2: like absolutely no, I cannot be flying fuck to go
Speaker 2: back and have a newborn. But also didn't want to
Speaker 2: be so direct, so she was like, baby, you could
Speaker 2: see it in her eyes. They should have done that
Speaker 2: gazing thing where Thomas might have been able to see
Speaker 2: a bit more and he would have seen the pain
Speaker 2: and something. Okay, So they go on a single day.
Speaker 2: Thomas takes her back to his home pad.
Speaker 3: Whatever it is, this was quite the setup.
Speaker 2: It gives her a little massage.
Speaker 3: That's quite a lot for a second date. Is it
Speaker 3: the first day?
Speaker 2: What's their first single day?
Speaker 3: Imagine imagine if I on our second date said Laura,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna massage you get naked.
Speaker 2: But you know those pornos where it starts with a
Speaker 2: massage and then all of a sudden there's a penis
Speaker 2: in your mouth.
Speaker 3: Seen many of those.
Speaker 2: It's my favorite kind. I thought that maybe that was
Speaker 2: going to be the open night's day, like they were
Speaker 2: gonna get all frisky jiggy with it.
Speaker 3: One of the first time we have X on the Bachelor.
Speaker 2: But no, that didn't happen. She was into it though,
Speaker 2: But we did get my favorite quote I think of
Speaker 2: every single Bachelor that has ever existed, and it was.
Speaker 8: This, Unless it gives me energy, inspirational orgasm, it doesn't
Speaker 8: belong in your lifete me.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is, like I said, my favorite quote that
Speaker 2: has ever come out of the Bachelor, and I think
Speaker 2: that this is the energy I'm going to go into
Speaker 2: twenty twenty three yet, except instead of that, for me,
Speaker 2: I would like it to be energy inspiration, orgasm, or
Speaker 2: a little bit more sleep. If it's not an orgasm, I'd.
Speaker 3: Like sleep, but sleep gives you energy.
Speaker 2: Laura, Well, there you go. If it doesn't give me energy,
Speaker 2: inspiration or an orgasm or a nap, I don't want
Speaker 2: it in my life.
Speaker 8: There.
Speaker 3: You haven't anyway here, Perc going to start a cult
Speaker 3: after this. Absolutely it's going to happen.
Speaker 2: Her and Thomas are going to end up together and
Speaker 2: they get a start a fucking.
Speaker 3: Cast and then in like two years time, will we
Speaker 3: recapping the Netflix doc o on Kiki and Thomas.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that'll give them inspiration an energy. Okay, so
Speaker 2: there's other things that happened in the single dates. We're
Speaker 2: just gonna steam roll straight past that, and we're going
Speaker 2: to go to the group date and finally, on this
Speaker 2: group date, this is where Felix's redemption story. This is
Speaker 2: where his redemption arc has started. He finally goes on
Speaker 2: a group date and doesn't kiss anyone. Doesn't He even
Speaker 2: goes and frolics in the ocean with Crystal and doesn't
Speaker 2: kiss her.
Speaker 3: I wonder how much producers were like putting darts with
Speaker 3: tranquilizer to like try and like bring down his horniness.
Speaker 2: They were like, if you do this, all the women
Speaker 2: will leave and there will be no one left except
Speaker 2: for Jessica. So he finally controls and contains himself, and
Speaker 2: instead of kissing anyone, he just goes and frolics in
Speaker 2: the ocean.
Speaker 3: No, because he's so horny. He's like, I can't care,
Speaker 3: I can't cope anymore. He just runs into the ocean and.
Speaker 2: He doesn't even take his shoes.
Speaker 3: He's just he needs to do anything to distract himself
Speaker 3: and from his raging erection. They're having this beautiful lune
Speaker 3: and they're like, where the hell is feelings gone? And
Speaker 3: it's just and he just starts jacking off in the ocean,
Speaker 3: and you're like, well, it's not all bad. And then Crystal,
Speaker 3: bless her Crystal follows him into the water.
Speaker 2: Because she thought he was drowning, so she went in
Speaker 2: to save him.
Speaker 3: Bless her Cotton.
Speaker 2: She's a good girl, that Crystal. I like her.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, URI's on the beach going, thank fuck, I'm not
Speaker 3: stelling that show Jesus.
Speaker 2: Although I do think Crystal was. Probably she was like,
Speaker 2: do you know what Felix does on group day? He
Speaker 2: kisses someone? So she thought she was in for a shot.
Speaker 2: How disappointed would you be if you were Crystal out
Speaker 2: in the ocean frolliging around and Felix just doesn't kiss you.
Speaker 2: You'd be like, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 3: But to be fair, literally every single woman who's left
Speaker 3: has their nose up against the glass, being like here
Speaker 3: it fucking comes.
Speaker 2: Okay. But the whole point of this group date is
Speaker 2: so that they can get deeper with each other, they
Speaker 2: can build more of a connection. There's a little bit
Speaker 2: of one on one time that they seem to have
Speaker 2: they're peeling off. They're having these chats, and Naomi and
Speaker 2: Felix I feel like they went the deepest of all.
Speaker 8: Today's all about getting to know each other on the
Speaker 8: team level of So I want you to say one
Speaker 8: thing like not many people know that hit me.
Speaker 3: I love dinosaurs, Ah, Felix, don't we all like dinosaurs?
Speaker 2: Marley likes dinosaurs.
Speaker 3: That's why I like him, because he's so honest and.
Speaker 2: So raw and in touch with his feelings.
Speaker 3: I'd love to know what kind of dinosaur he likes, though?
Speaker 3: Is it a t rex?
Speaker 2: Maybe you should slide into his DMS and ask him.
Speaker 3: No way am I going anywhere near his DMS.
Speaker 2: He will try and fuck you.
Speaker 3: I'll be pregnant and you'll be like, what happened about
Speaker 3: I messaged Felix.
Speaker 7: God.
Speaker 3: That's pretty much episode five. There is a rose ceremony.
Speaker 3: I think the names of the people who go home.
Speaker 2: It's one single person, so that no one knows. We're
Speaker 2: still at the point of The Bachelor where no one.
Speaker 3: Knows that the girl who was on who's on maths.
Speaker 3: There is a girl who appears out of thin air
Speaker 3: and she's actually cast on maps. So they've kind of
Speaker 3: edited her out, but she's still in the show. It's
Speaker 3: very confusing.
Speaker 2: We only found this out from reading the Daily Mail,
Speaker 2: so it could be incorrect, but you know what, let's
Speaker 2: just roll with it and give you bits of incorrect information.
Speaker 3: So Janey went home went home.
Speaker 2: And she had my second favorite quote for the season.
Speaker 2: Can we put the hater on?
Speaker 4: Because my nipples is so hard, I'm about to key
Speaker 4: the car?
Speaker 3: All right, guys, can you bloody believe it? We are
Speaker 3: at the halfway mark. It feels like yesterday that we were.
Speaker 2: The halfway mark of the episode, though we're almost finished
Speaker 2: kick on.
Speaker 3: Could you imagine? Oh my days?
Speaker 2: Absolutely okay. Last week we said please text us if
Speaker 2: anyone's made it to this point in the episode, and
Speaker 2: so many of you messaged us. But if this was
Speaker 2: truly the halfway mark, I guarantee you no.
Speaker 3: One would be to the end. But no. Joe Rogan
Speaker 3: does episodes on podcasts that last for like two hours.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but people just put it on and don't actually listen.
Speaker 2: They just come back four days later and he's still speaking.
Speaker 3: Do people really listen to what we talk about? I
Speaker 3: feel like we could recap and make up completely false
Speaker 3: storylines and people wouldn't even blink.
Speaker 2: So at this point in time, Thomas actually left and
Speaker 2: he walked out.
Speaker 3: With Tash and then Asher gets in a helicopter that
Speaker 3: he's stole from production, and now AHA's on the run.
Speaker 2: No okay, episode six, This is not even the last
Speaker 2: episode of the week, but it is the last episode
Speaker 2: of this recap because we need to go to bed.
Speaker 3: Yes, but can I just say the best episode of
Speaker 3: this season Episode six? Well done to production for making
Speaker 3: one of the most amazingly awkward group dates happen so good.
Speaker 3: So only a select few girls get chosen for the
Speaker 3: group date? And who do they bring along? Laura their
Speaker 3: best friend, because we all know how important it is
Speaker 3: as a bachelor to talk with the best friends, to
Speaker 3: get a bit more of an understanding of what kind
Speaker 3: of person they are. And who who does j us bring?
Speaker 2: Oh it's so awkward. Damo she doesn't bring a mom. Damo,
Speaker 2: she doesn't bring a sister, she doesn't bring a cousin.
Speaker 2: She brings her boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Can I just say that would have been her call?
Speaker 7: Nah?
Speaker 2: Nah, no way, No.
Speaker 3: I disagree.
Speaker 2: I reckon they're paid actors.
Speaker 3: I just think you don't think it's real.
Speaker 2: I cannot believe how wild this storyline is for it
Speaker 2: to be realed. I have never known there to be
Speaker 2: paid actors on The Bachelor. It's obviously reality TV, Like
Speaker 2: you know, people audition and they have their own crazy
Speaker 2: life stories. I just think, Okay, is so wild to
Speaker 2: me that she is in a commit she's in love
Speaker 2: with someone, she has a boyfriend, and yes, she obviously
Speaker 2: is open to a polyamorous relationship. But the way and
Speaker 2: the reason why I think this whole situation is so
Speaker 2: crazy is because it's no longer a question about polyamory,
Speaker 2: because Jess has said herself that she's going to choose
Speaker 2: one or the other at the end of this. So basically,
Speaker 2: she came into this experiment with a boyfriend who she loves,
Speaker 2: but now she's going to decide which person she wants
Speaker 2: to be with and only be with one. So it's
Speaker 2: kind of went from being a polyamorous discussion to being
Speaker 2: who's going to win. My mind is blown.
Speaker 3: Okay, you think it's fake. It's so wild that you
Speaker 3: think it's fake. I think it's real. But for the record,
Speaker 3: production would have said to the contestants and said, you
Speaker 3: need to put down maybe one or two options for
Speaker 3: people that we can contact to see if they'll come
Speaker 3: on this group day. Jess is put down Demo's number
Speaker 3: and can we just have a moment for bloody Damo,
Speaker 3: because what an absolute legend. He doesn't matter what Jess
Speaker 3: is going to drag him into. He is going to
Speaker 3: show up and he is going to do his very,
Speaker 3: very best, regardless of how terrible the situation is.
Speaker 2: Like Jess is like, I murdered Osher and he's like,
Speaker 2: it's okay, I love you anyway.
Speaker 3: That's fine, We'll get through it, honey, I love you.
Speaker 3: Like for example, Leah brings her sister perfect great, looks identical.
Speaker 3: It looks identical, but that makes complete sense. In what
Speaker 3: world did just think that it was going to be
Speaker 3: a good idea to bring her bloody boyfriend on the
Speaker 3: group date.
Speaker 2: So Jess makes it, as I said, she makes it
Speaker 2: very clear that even though she is polyamorous, she's not
Speaker 2: after having an open relationship with both guys.
Speaker 3: You've lost me.
Speaker 2: Okay, well maybe this grab will help you. That's the thing.
Speaker 8: Like, I don't want to partners at the end of this,
Speaker 8: so it would have to be either or not.
Speaker 2: It's so hard. It's when you love.
Speaker 8: Someone and you're emotionally connected to them, so hard to
Speaker 8: let someone go.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, you know. The thing that's a bit
Speaker 2: shit about this group date though, is that, obviously Felix
Speaker 2: has invited multiple women. He's invited Abigail, I can't even
Speaker 2: remember who else is the crazy cat lady, and she's
Speaker 2: brought the cats there. Her support person was actually just
Speaker 2: a cat.
Speaker 3: Production, like Abigail, who can we call? And she's like Minni,
Speaker 3: who's Minni?
Speaker 2: Well, okay, but there's other women there who were there
Speaker 2: for Felix. But the entire group date, not only the
Speaker 2: entire group date, I'm gonna say the entire episode, the
Speaker 2: whole episode, an hour and twenty five minutes.
Speaker 3: You could you could have trimmed off a good half
Speaker 3: hour of that episode because all it was is just Felix,
Speaker 3: Jess and Duncan Mo. Demo's just there lurking in the corner.
Speaker 2: Okay, And I get it. I get that it is
Speaker 2: a big cliffhanger part of the storyline, but holy dick,
Speaker 2: they milked it. They milked it, so Okay, that was
Speaker 2: a weird, weird chose of words.
Speaker 3: Getting strong visuals here of like demo milking felix.
Speaker 2: Okay, anyway, and just like keep doing that.
Speaker 3: It's good for the content. Okay, we need to fill
Speaker 3: in another fifteen minutes here.
Speaker 2: It went on for you going still, you should.
Speaker 3: Stop going demo until let's says stuff and the cats
Speaker 3: are like, it was a fucking wild episode. Let me
Speaker 3: tell you had at all. Where's Jet in the drums?
Speaker 3: There is? He brought us band along.
Speaker 2: This whole like this whole situation with Jess.
Speaker 3: Some theories the theory tell us.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I have a couple of theories I want
Speaker 2: to be I got none. Preface this by saying, once again,
Speaker 2: I've never been in a polyamorous relationship. I have nothing.
Speaker 3: Against Stop saying polyamorous, polyamorous, polyamorous, polyamorous. You've never been
Speaker 3: in one, neither of I've.
Speaker 2: Never been anyone. I've never been an open relationship. I
Speaker 2: find them really interesting, and I absolutely respect that everybody
Speaker 2: shows up in relationships very very differently. I guess the
Speaker 2: thing about Jesse's situation that I find so interesting is
Speaker 2: that neither of the people that she's in the relationship
Speaker 2: with are choosing to be in, as in their not
Speaker 2: being polyamorous themselves. So in Damien's side, he loves her
Speaker 2: so much and doesn't want to lose her that he
Speaker 2: has obviously become open to her being open and to
Speaker 2: him standing by her while she figures out what she wants.
Speaker 3: Credit to Damo, Yeah.
Speaker 2: He's being this like loving, endlessly supportive person. Now Jessica
Speaker 2: is in a situation where she basically has to hatch
Speaker 2: her bets. She has to decide because Felix doesn't want
Speaker 2: to be in an open relationship. He wants monogamy. He's
Speaker 2: made that clear. So Jessica has to decide whether she
Speaker 2: wants to be with Damien or she wants to be
Speaker 2: with Felix. Now I kind of get monkey branching vibes
Speaker 2: from this whole situation, and what I mean by that
Speaker 2: is that it kind of feels like Jessica is trying
Speaker 2: to secure one relationship before she lets go from the
Speaker 2: other one. So she almost wants Felix to say this
Speaker 2: is one hundred percent before she dumps Damien because she
Speaker 2: doesn't want to dump Damien for nothing, and that, to me,
Speaker 2: I feel could become quite toxic.
Speaker 3: Okay, is it because she'll only end it with Dame
Speaker 3: O when she knows that Felix is better or.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when she knows that Felix is one hundred percent
Speaker 2: and that is going to happen, then she will end
Speaker 2: it with Daimo because she has to.
Speaker 3: But surely at this point they've been together for quite
Speaker 3: a while, haven't they.
Speaker 2: They've not actually specified how long they've been together.
Speaker 3: Surely at this point she would know whether or not
Speaker 3: it's worth exploring, like a committed relationship with Daimo, right,
Speaker 3: like why Felix aside? Surely she would understand where she's
Speaker 3: at with Demo right now. He loves her, she talks
Speaker 3: about the fact that she has really strong feelings for him.
Speaker 3: Surely she would know.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that's the big thing, right Like, we
Speaker 2: all know that relationships are complicated. We all know that
Speaker 2: things are not as clear cut. You can be in
Speaker 2: a relationship with someone for six years and still not
Speaker 2: be sure about how you feel about them or what
Speaker 2: you want from them, Like it can be truly confusing.
Speaker 2: But I think the part of this that makes it
Speaker 2: more confusing is the fact that neither of them are
Speaker 2: wanting the same things. Like, no one in that situation,
Speaker 2: Not one of them wants the same thing. Like Damien
Speaker 2: doesn't want to be in an open relationship, he just
Speaker 2: wants to be Jessica. Jessica wants her cake and wants
Speaker 2: to eat it too. She wants to be in an
Speaker 2: open relationship, but she also desires monogamy in the long term.
Speaker 2: It just feels like they're all in a very confusing
Speaker 2: part of their relationship journeys, which is so fine, but
Speaker 2: it's crazy to me that it's playing out on reality
Speaker 2: TV and we're all watching what would normally happen in private.
Speaker 2: And the other part of this that I think is
Speaker 2: also super interesting is that Felix is so into.
Speaker 3: Jess This is my favorite part.
Speaker 2: Keep going, okay, this is my other theory. So my
Speaker 2: other theory is that, yes, we know from episode one
Speaker 2: that Felix always kind of thought that jess could be
Speaker 2: at the end. However, he made that decision based on nothing,
Speaker 2: based on a twenty minute date where they basically just
Speaker 2: esthetically store each other, so she looks like the type
Speaker 2: of girl that he would want to be.
Speaker 3: Right, hang on a second, are you trying to tell
Speaker 3: me that Felix I beloved Felix would only fall in
Speaker 3: love with jess purely based on her looks and nothing
Speaker 3: else what I love dare you? Shame on you?
Speaker 2: I know what I'm saying is it's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2: I feel like there's now a bit of competition element there.
Speaker 2: I feel like Felix probably wants Jess even more because
Speaker 2: she's not the easy person to get. There's a chase there.
Speaker 2: It's become this like complicated. I want to win. I
Speaker 2: want her to use me.
Speaker 3: He's an ex athlete, he's born to compete.
Speaker 2: I just and look, this is all me projecting. It
Speaker 2: might be incorrect, and I'm not saying obviously, I don't
Speaker 2: have any more insight into this than anybody else. This
Speaker 2: is just my feelings watching the show play out. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is the vibes that I'm getting, That's all.
Speaker 3: And can we just take a moment, please, Laura, if
Speaker 3: we may to have a moment of silence for Abigail
Speaker 3: the cat lady, who seems to be the only person
Speaker 3: who really understands what the hell is happening right now.
Speaker 2: Felix is also technically ex boring polyamory because he's also
Speaker 2: dating seven other women, so basically the only past not
Speaker 2: in a polyamorous relationship is me. So basically, the group
Speaker 2: date was a great, big old waste of time for
Speaker 2: anybody who wasn't Damian, Jessica or Felix. Nobody else even
Speaker 2: got a single look in. But then it goes to
Speaker 2: the single day time and all of a sudden, they're
Speaker 2: sitting like the women are sitting waiting for the daycard
Speaker 2: to arrive, but there's no daycards. There's no daycard on
Speaker 2: this season. I just realized there's iPhones hidden in the
Speaker 2: couch and the girls are like, oh my god, who's ringing?
Speaker 2: And an iPhone gets pulled out from between the sea cushions.
Speaker 2: So basically iPhones and now the twenty twenty three day cards.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie, Laura, I have no idea well
Speaker 3: where we're currently at.
Speaker 2: Stick with me, buddy, It's fine, Okay. Tilly doesn't get
Speaker 2: a date.
Speaker 3: No, she's very upset.
Speaker 2: She she loses it, very very upset.
Speaker 3: Clearly Tilly was a little bit stressed out about the
Speaker 3: whole situation.
Speaker 2: She flipped out and she stormed on right out of there.
Speaker 2: But Felix goes on a single day with Crystal. All
Speaker 2: they do is talk about jess and the polyamorous relationship.
Speaker 3: She was such a disappointing day. I've been waiting so
Speaker 3: long patiently. We're the half way mark and Chrystal gets
Speaker 3: a single date.
Speaker 2: No kiss, no nothing, do you kiss? No nothing?
Speaker 3: We had more action on their speed date on episode one.
Speaker 2: I know they baited us hard in the beginning, and
Speaker 2: then they've just like cooked us and dragged us along
Speaker 2: on the beach and the shore. That's not fair, left
Speaker 2: us out in the sun to dry.
Speaker 3: It's miserable, bloody fair, all.
Speaker 2: Right, So there's other dates that go on. If Thomas
Speaker 2: goes on a single date with Jasmine.
Speaker 3: Surprised, then I didn't think that, Like I didn't think
Speaker 3: there was anything.
Speaker 2: I was seeing Flauring, I agree, I was seeing nothing
Speaker 2: last episode. But now all of a sudden, Jasmine's in
Speaker 2: it to win it, and there is another date that
Speaker 2: gets thrown in the mix. There's a fourth Bachelor.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the fourth Bachelor, dam O, please step on up.
Speaker 2: Damien calls Jessica and they go on a date to
Speaker 2: have a conversation. What they call it a conscious conversation.
Speaker 2: They speak consciously.
Speaker 3: What is that about this.
Speaker 2: Speaking about their relationship? But honestly, like we said earlier,
Speaker 2: this entire episode has been It's been the same conversation
Speaker 2: on repeat as to whether Jess is still in love
Speaker 2: with Damien and what you're gonna.
Speaker 3: Do Jess has Every time you asked Jess a question,
Speaker 3: she's like, well, I just I don't know. Just answer it, come.
Speaker 2: On, because she doesn't know what she wants.
Speaker 3: She does know when she saw Damo, they met each other,
Speaker 3: they embrace, They were like, I love you and then
Speaker 3: like kissing, and that embrace was clearly two people who
Speaker 3: loved each other.
Speaker 2: But then, why is she on the show?
Speaker 3: I don't know, Laura.
Speaker 2: I get it, like I understand the want to be
Speaker 2: with more people, but I feel like going on a
Speaker 2: show where the Bachelor is someone who would needs to
Speaker 2: be monomalous.
Speaker 3: We get it. It's just I can't let you go
Speaker 3: down that.
Speaker 2: No. Come on, okay, I'm confused. Come on, I'm so confused.
Speaker 3: You are now doing what the Bachelor did to us.
Speaker 2: This is true. It's because I've been conditioned. Five hours
Speaker 2: of Bachelor this week has conditioned me to want to
Speaker 2: talk about polyamory.
Speaker 3: We could do an entire episode on Jess, Demo and Felix.
Speaker 2: It's truly interesting. But we won't. We absolutely won't the
Speaker 2: other part of this that I thought was quite worth
Speaker 2: noting or something that we thought we should go into
Speaker 2: a little bit. Thomas on his date with Jasmine. It
Speaker 2: was going really well and things got a little bit
Speaker 2: steemailed going well.
Speaker 7: I love to get physical, I love to receive physical touch.
Speaker 6: I'm very big on all of it.
Speaker 3: I love sex to the point, I love to explore.
Speaker 3: I loved how fun and I'm un of service.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I can see that. I can really see that.
Speaker 2: And now it should come as absolutely no surprise to
Speaker 2: anybody that this episode is rounded out in the way
Speaker 2: that it started.
Speaker 3: What's it going to be, Laura, Oh, let's have a guess, polyamory.
Speaker 2: It rounds out in the way that it started, in
Speaker 2: the way that it progressed, in the way that it continued,
Speaker 2: and in the way that it ended. Jess is confused
Speaker 2: and doesn't know what she wants.
Speaker 8: Do I choose Felix and have this amazing, no potential
Speaker 8: life with him, or do I go back to my
Speaker 8: comfort zone and back to that amazing, incredible man that
Speaker 8: loves me.
Speaker 2: And to be honest, I don't think anybody can answer
Speaker 2: that question for Jess. Except for Jess.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to put money on the fact that
Speaker 3: Damo is going to be there at the.
Speaker 2: Finale fuck off, because you imagine.
Speaker 3: They'll be like, we don't actually have Jess's family here,
Speaker 3: but we have Daimoh coming back for a round two.
Speaker 3: Damo is going to be there for every episode. He
Speaker 3: knows the address, he knows where the girls live.
Speaker 2: Also, what do you think would happen? So just say
Speaker 2: that Jess makes it to the final two. So imagine
Speaker 2: that she makes it to finale and Felix doesn't choose
Speaker 2: her because this has become you know, it's too hard
Speaker 2: for him to make a choice around the whole.
Speaker 3: No, imagine this does she didn't go back? No pause that.
Speaker 3: Imagine this. Imagine that Felix says I want to be
Speaker 3: with you, and then she says no, I love Damo,
Speaker 3: and then Damo comes out of the swamp and he's like, here,
Speaker 3: I am honey.
Speaker 2: Imagine that that could happen. I would pay to watch that.
Speaker 3: I freaking hope.
Speaker 2: So I'm locked in and ready and raring to go.
Speaker 3: Who went home?
Speaker 2: I can't remember. I didn't even write it down.
Speaker 3: Zara ah Czara. I made that, HU did Angela? I
Speaker 3: didn't even question it. I was like, she was such
Speaker 3: a lovely girl.
Speaker 2: I think it was a too syllable name. It may
Speaker 2: have been Zara.
Speaker 3: Angela is still there, she's still there.
Speaker 2: Haven't heard much about her.
Speaker 3: Can Angela say a freaking word?
Speaker 2: Blink twice? If you're still in the in the Batch mansion.
Speaker 3: How would you be if you were Angela? She's literally
Speaker 3: said nothing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, anyway.
Speaker 3: I cannot believe you finished this episode.
Speaker 2: This is only three of the four episodes that have
Speaker 2: been out this week. This has been a mighty fucking effort.
Speaker 2: Tomorrow night's episode or tonight's it's Wednesday Tonight's episode. We'll
Speaker 2: recap that in due course. We're on a holiday at
Speaker 2: the moment. We'll probably recap it by Friday.
Speaker 3: By the way, we're in Byron Bay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're trying to have a.
Speaker 3: Crap holiday because they're doing this recap which just is
Speaker 3: never ending.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 3: I'm joking. I love it. I love it. It's very lovely.
Speaker 3: Can I just say very lovely? I'm very flatted that
Speaker 3: people have been enjoying the content, because, honestly, when we
Speaker 3: finished recording the last episode, Laura looked at me with
Speaker 3: a very concerned look on her face, and she went,
Speaker 3: do you think anyone's going to listen to that? And
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, here's your podcast. But honestly, when we said yes
Speaker 2: to this, we thought it was going to be three
Speaker 2: episodes a week, and now it's four episodes a week,
Speaker 2: and if they increase it to five, we might just
Speaker 2: have to pull the pin.
Speaker 3: There's two weeks left.
Speaker 2: They can't. They're not going to do that.
Speaker 3: We got two more to go, two more to go?
Speaker 2: Can we do it?
Speaker 3: Three more? Togo? Maybe?
Speaker 2: Oh god, can we do it?
Speaker 3: Of course we can.
Speaker 2: I'm scared. Anyway, if you've been loving the episode, we
Speaker 2: need the encouragement, go and leave us a review. Tell
Speaker 2: us what you think of the batch, tell us what
Speaker 2: you think of the apps. We you know, you know
Speaker 2: the drill, Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your friends,
Speaker 2: and share the love, because we love love. I'm gonna's
Speaker 2: just then not well, you're not