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Speaker 1: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Tony Lodge,

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Speaker 3: and joining me for another shot back money Diary is

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Speaker 3: Victoria Divine.

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Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, my friend.

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Speaker 5: I've got another.

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Speaker 3: Money diary for you today, and as always, it's a

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Speaker 3: good one, but we will be talking a little bit

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Speaker 3: about alcoholism and how it can affect our finances and relationships.

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Speaker 5: So just want to give a little bit of.

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Speaker 3: A content warning for anybody that can't listen to that

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Speaker 3: at the moment. It might be a good one to skip,

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Speaker 3: but we can see you next week.

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Speaker 4: All right, Tony, With that in mind, how about we

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Speaker 4: jumped straight in. Can you read out this week's money

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Speaker 4: diary email for me?

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Speaker 5: All right, here we go.

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Speaker 3: I'm very uptight about every dollar. My partner has a

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Speaker 3: very large salary and we're saving for a house. I'm

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Speaker 3: an investor and have lived overseas. My partner is from overseas,

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Speaker 3: and we're currently going through a very expensive visa process.

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Speaker 3: And this one has a bit of a twist. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: we get probably how many do you think me like?

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Speaker 3: Hundreds of money diaries?

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Speaker 5: Emails.

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Speaker 4: We're so grateful, so grateful. Please keep sending them.

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Speaker 3: But we get so many and they take me a

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Speaker 3: long time to get through. And I responded to this

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Speaker 3: email last week and said, Hi, Money Diarist, we would

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Speaker 3: absolutely love to chat to you. We love hearing about

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Speaker 3: your story. We would love to have you on And

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Speaker 3: she said, there's actually been quite a big development in

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Speaker 3: my story in the past twenty four hours between her

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Speaker 3: sending the story and me reaching out to her. We

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Speaker 3: have our Money Diarist on the line. Hello, Hi, and

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Speaker 3: I would love for you to share with v the

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Speaker 3: roller coaster you have been on in the last week

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Speaker 3: and how you had to respond to my.

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Speaker 5: Email about reaching out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I wasn't sure if you would still want to

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Speaker 1: go ahead with it, obviously, I said, my partner has

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Speaker 1: really large salary, we're saving for a house, blah blah blah. Well,

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Speaker 1: about a day after you emailed me, we had broken

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Speaker 1: up the day before, so.

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Speaker 4: I guess you don't want to buy a house together anymore.

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Speaker 1: Well, but you.

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Speaker 5: Don't have to save the money for the visa?

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Speaker 1: Is that? Unfortunately that ship has sailed. It's very much

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Speaker 1: paid for and it has been a very long time

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Speaker 1: since so yeah, it was.

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Speaker 4: I'm so sorry to hear that. And I know that

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Speaker 4: I don't know you well, but I'm assuming and I

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Speaker 4: would love for you to tell me a little bit

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Speaker 4: more about this. But I'm assuming you didn't see that coming,

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Speaker 4: because if you're willing to email us and be like, yeah, cool,

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Speaker 4: this is my money storyline, I feel like that's saying

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Speaker 4: that's pretty solid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was actually my decision.

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Speaker 4: Okay, all right, not what I expected, but tell us

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Speaker 4: about it.

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Speaker 1: No, So I have kind of had an issue with like,

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously everyone drinks and you know it has

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Speaker 1: a good time, but he just was unaware of when

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Speaker 1: to stop, and it had just been a recurring issue

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Speaker 1: for a really long time. And yeah, I just kind

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Speaker 1: of went, you know what, I'm just not doing it anymore.

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Speaker 1: See you later.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Wow, I'm so proud of you. That's

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Speaker 4: such a big decision to mate.

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Speaker 1: Yes, everyone in my life is also proud of me,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like this has been a long time coming.

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Speaker 1: So even though it's just hard, because everything else was

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Speaker 1: really good and that's why I sent it through and

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Speaker 1: I was like, yep, this is it and everything else

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Speaker 1: is great. We're just trying to like, well, in my head,

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Speaker 1: you know, work through this issue. But last weekend I

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Speaker 1: was just like, Yep, it's just never going to change.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going I would just.

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Speaker 3: Also like to flag that in case anybody thinks that

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Speaker 3: I'm a real heartless witch, which.

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Speaker 4: I mean she is, but not in this situation. Situation, No,

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Speaker 4: that's not true.

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Speaker 3: When I was speaking to our money darist that you're

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Speaker 3: hearing right now, I said, look, if you need a

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Speaker 3: bit of time, that's totally fine, and she said no,

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Speaker 3: I would still love to chat. And we thought that

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Speaker 3: this would be a really good insight into actually how overnight,

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Speaker 3: whether we choose it or it's thrust upon us, our

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Speaker 3: financial situation can change. So I feel like we should

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Speaker 3: get into the structured questions and then we can ask

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Speaker 3: all of.

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Speaker 5: Our little chatty kathy questions after the break.

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Speaker 4: I have so many chatty kathy questions, but I think.

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Speaker 3: This is one that people will really relate to because

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Speaker 3: things change all the time. Things are never solid, even

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Speaker 3: when you know they seem great and you want them

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Speaker 3: to work out.

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Speaker 5: So I thought it'd be a really good opportunity to

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Speaker 5: chat to.

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Speaker 3: Someone who is in real time going through a huge change.

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Speaker 4: Wow, money, diarist. I'm so grateful for this story and

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Speaker 4: so excited to get through all of these questions. So

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Speaker 4: it's Tony suggested, let's jump straight into the structured questions

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Speaker 4: and ask you what's your attitude towards money?

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Speaker 1: Well, as I mentioned in the email, I'm extremely uptight,

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Speaker 1: even though I don't really have to be.

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Speaker 4: It's not a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's a good and a bad thing. So I

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Speaker 1: know where it started because my first job, you know,

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Speaker 1: when they used to send out the group certificates back

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Speaker 1: in the day. I got my first group certificate and

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Speaker 1: it said that I've earned like seven thousand dollars since

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Speaker 1: I'd started, and I was like, are you kid? Mind you?

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Speaker 1: I was like, seventeen guys. This was not like a

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Speaker 1: full time job, don't worry.

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Speaker 4: But it felt serious at the time.

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Speaker 1: It said I'd earned seven thousand dollars and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? I have like three hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: and I haven't bought anything. I was like, how have

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Speaker 1: I spent six and a half thousand dollars or nothing?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, this is ridiculous. I am never

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Speaker 1: getting another group certificate where I have earned all this

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Speaker 1: money and I have nothing left, so lucky I work

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Speaker 1: this out seventeen and honestly, ever since then, I have

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Speaker 1: been like the most uptight person. And it is a

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Speaker 1: good thing because I save a lot of money. And

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Speaker 1: it's not like I have to be uptight. It's not

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Speaker 1: for that reason. It's just because I'm like, I want

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Speaker 1: to know where every dollar is going and I want

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Speaker 1: to be on top of it and I never want

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Speaker 1: to be stuck. And I just I just am the

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Speaker 1: way that I am. And yeah, I so I would

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Speaker 1: say I'm really uptight about money. I'm super conscious of money,

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Speaker 1: Like I haven't spreadsheet that I update every day, like

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Speaker 1: I know every I know to the scent what my

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Speaker 1: super is, like I know everything, Oh my gosh. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I would say that I'm extremely like conscious uptight,

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Speaker 1: like just I'm on it all the time.

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Speaker 4: But that's not a bad thing. That just means you're

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Speaker 4: across it. And I mean, I think there's this misconception

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Speaker 4: that the word uptight necessarily means bad. Yeah, from what

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Speaker 4: you've just told me, that's actually a really positive relationship

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Speaker 4: with your money, so that you know where it is

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Speaker 4: and what's going on, how it works. And what it

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Speaker 4: means for you, like, Oh, I don't know if i'd

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Speaker 4: call that up TI.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a conscious aware, I don't know aware.

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Speaker 4: I like it, but I'm not going to argue with

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Speaker 4: you over what you want to call yourself. So let's

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Speaker 4: move on to the next question and ask you money direst.

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Speaker 4: What do you do for work and how much money

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Speaker 4: do you work?

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Speaker 1: So I work in administration for a construction company and

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Speaker 1: I earn sixty thousand dollars a year, which is honestly

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Speaker 1: pretty good for what I'm doing. And they're also a

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Speaker 1: very generous company, so I usually get bonuses and they

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Speaker 1: sit like, you know, give you a lot of stuff

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Speaker 1: throughout the year. So I'm definitely happy with that, even

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Speaker 1: though the salary is not the best salary in the world.

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Speaker 1: That the company are really good to you. So I

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Speaker 1: got to pay your rise from them without asking, so

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Speaker 1: oh good. Yeah, so I'm happy with that. I was

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Speaker 1: actually recently, up until about a few months ago, I've

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Speaker 1: always worked six days and had a second job, so

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Speaker 1: I was admin in real estate on weekends as well.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, a hustler. We love this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I've always worked weekends up until the last

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Speaker 1: few months, so I was on about seventy two thousand.

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Speaker 3: Then, so have you stopped doing that just because of

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Speaker 3: the time, like you just really wanted your weekends back.

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Speaker 1: Or funny story, as I said, my partner has a

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Speaker 1: really well I guess my ex partner, I'm not used

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Speaker 1: to calling him that yet, has a salary. And he

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Speaker 1: was just like, I don't know why you work on weekends,

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Speaker 1: Like he's like, when you transfer me rent, I don't

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Speaker 1: even notice. And I was like, can you not, like please,

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Speaker 1: I work all day for this anyway? He was just like, look,

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Speaker 1: if you want to quit and I'll just pay all

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Speaker 1: the rent and if you just want to like clean

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Speaker 1: up the house on the weekend, then that's that'll work

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Speaker 1: for me. And I was like, you know what, I

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Speaker 1: would so much rather clean my house on the weekend. Gosh, yes,

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Speaker 1: I was like, yep, Swait done.

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Speaker 4: That's really cool. That's and I know that you're in

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Speaker 4: that relation anymore, but that's a really and I guess

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Speaker 4: this is an interesting situation as well, because from what

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Speaker 4: you've told us, and we'll get into the nitty gritty after,

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Speaker 4: but I just can't help Tony from diving off to

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Speaker 4: the side. When you make a decision like you've made.

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Speaker 4: You said, you made this decision because your partner was

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Speaker 4: a drinker and that was a thing that was driving

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Speaker 4: a really big wedge in your relationship. That doesn't necessarily

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Speaker 4: mean that every other part of your relationship was bad.

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Speaker 4: It just means that that was the thing, and you know,

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Speaker 4: you could have had a really great relationship, but you've

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Speaker 4: made this decision. You're like, regardless of all of the good,

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Speaker 4: it is not worth it for even one percent of bad.

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Speaker 4: And I think that that's a really empowering position to

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Speaker 4: be in, and for a lot of people it's actually

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Speaker 4: confusing because they're like, but our relationship is so good

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Speaker 4: and I still love him, and I still love this person,

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Speaker 4: but it's not actually healthy for me to be here.

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Speaker 4: So I'm going to ask a little bit more about

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Speaker 4: this because it's so cool to see that you, guys,

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Speaker 4: when you were in that relationship, said, you know what,

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Speaker 4: it's actually not about money contributing fifty to fifty. It's

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Speaker 4: actually about equal division of labor and equal division of

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Speaker 4: like resources and making sure that we're supporting each other.

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Speaker 4: Has that always been the way that you've approached relationships.

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Speaker 1: Well, he's probably been the first partner that I've properly

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Speaker 1: lived with, like I was living overseas and just kind

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Speaker 1: of like whooa loving life. Yeah, he's kind of like

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Speaker 1: the most serious partner that I've had. And it's actually

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Speaker 1: not something I'm minded. Like I know that not everybody

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Speaker 1: would not agree with this, which is fine, but I

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Speaker 1: was very like, I would love to be like a

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Speaker 1: stay at home mom, like drop the kids off at school,

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Speaker 1: like make sure the house is really clean, Like I

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Speaker 1: would love to do that. And he was just like, yep,

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Speaker 1: that's one hundred percent how I am. Like I go

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Speaker 1: to work, I make the money, I look after do

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And even though that was

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Speaker 1: what we both wanted, and he kind of was doing

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Speaker 1: that now even though we had no kids, and but

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Speaker 1: I was always still likenh, I've got my own money,

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Speaker 1: I've got my own job. But the fact that he

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Speaker 1: was like that was really nice. But I said to him, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's not about money, like I think he

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Speaker 1: thought that being that giving and generous and that was

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Speaker 1: all he kind of had to do. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: if you gave me ten million dollars tomorrow or you said,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to stop drinking this way, Like, which one

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Speaker 1: do you think that I would pick? And it wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be the money, you know what I mean. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate the way that you are and that you're

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Speaker 1: so giving and all of that, but like, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: make up for the fact that this is a deal

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Speaker 1: breaker for me. And I held on for a long

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Speaker 1: time because he was so good and every other way,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, it was just too much of a deal

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Speaker 1: breaker for me, and I just I just couldn't deal

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Speaker 1: with it anymore. So, yeah, it sucks, and he was

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Speaker 1: a really great person in a lot of other ways,

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Speaker 1: but it just wasn't worth it.

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Speaker 5: I don't think that's so strong of you to do that.

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Speaker 5: It's not easy.

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Speaker 3: There'd be a lot of people listening that say, well,

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Speaker 3: I've been in that position and it was really hard

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Speaker 3: for me to do the same, or I'm in that

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Speaker 3: position now and I'm finding it really hard to kind

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Speaker 3: of look at my options.

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Speaker 5: So you should be really proud of yourself. But again,

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Speaker 5: this is so new. This has just happened.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's taken. It's taken a lot of false

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Speaker 1: attempts as well. I've put down a bond on a place,

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Speaker 1: so I'm ready to go. But yeah, I've kind of

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Speaker 1: done this quite a few times before and it just

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Speaker 1: doesn't work. But in terms of your actual question that

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Speaker 1: you ask, yeah, I guess it was kind of the

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Speaker 1: ideal situation for me, like I would love to be

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Speaker 1: a stay at home home with kids and that kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. But yeah, I just don't think even though

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Speaker 1: it would have worked like that with him, I just

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Speaker 1: don't think that the rest of it was going to

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Speaker 1: work and be worth it.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, and I think that that's awesome that you

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Speaker 4: know what you want as well, because so many people

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Speaker 4: don't know what they want and then let their future

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Speaker 4: relationships mold what they kind of want to become. And

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Speaker 4: you're like, no, this is the type of relationship I

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Speaker 4: want to have in the future probably, and this is

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Speaker 4: how I want it to look because these are my

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Speaker 4: values and what I'm looking for. And I'm sure your

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Speaker 4: next partner will have some of those traits that you're like,

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Speaker 4: you know what, this is a value to me. You're

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Speaker 4: not going to probably find yourself in a relationship with

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Speaker 4: someone who's like, no money, diarist, You've got to go

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Speaker 4: to work every single day and pay exactly half and

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Speaker 4: do this and do that, because you're like, well, that's

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Speaker 4: not the dynamic I'm looking for. That's not the values

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Speaker 4: that I hold.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm not saying I'm one of those girls

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Speaker 1: that's just like pay for everything.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: He was just very very giving. But yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: just the way that it all worked out. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: just no money in the world's enough to kind of

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Speaker 1: fix something that's a deal breaker.

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm so proud of you, and I know

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Speaker 4: that everybody listening is probably going to be listening along,

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Speaker 4: going wow, that is so strong. And you know what,

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Speaker 4: I know there's somebody who is listening today who's in

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Speaker 4: exactly that situation and hasn't pulled the trigger yet and

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Speaker 4: they're listening to story going, oh, I've got to do

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Speaker 4: what she's going to do. We'll get back to that

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Speaker 4: because I have a lot of questions though, so money, diarist,

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Speaker 4: you said you just put a bond down on a

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Speaker 4: new property, but I want to know what your big

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Speaker 4: money goal is.

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Speaker 1: Well, it was purchasing a house and we were tracking well,

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Speaker 1: but I suppose I'm going to have to rearrange my

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Speaker 1: I guess goals now. I mean I would still like

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Speaker 1: to buy house, but without him that will look very different,

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Speaker 1: so I guess that's still a goal. And like a

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Speaker 1: lot of our house deposit was contributed by me as well,

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Speaker 1: so I've still got a big chunk of that.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's so great.

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Speaker 3: Horror stories about people that end up not you know,

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Speaker 3: getting what they their cut or what they've contributed. So

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad that you were able to like amicably

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Speaker 3: kind of split that up and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I had all the control of it anyway, So it's fine, good, yes, queen.

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Speaker 4: We love hearing that all right. Next question, do you

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Speaker 4: currently have any investment?

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Speaker 1: I do, so, I, like I Reckon about two or

318
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Speaker 1: three years ago, had raised but I didn't really like

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Speaker 1: get it, and I didn't listen to Shees and the

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Speaker 1: Money yet, so I kind of had it. And then

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Speaker 1: I looked at it one day and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this has gone up some money. I'll just take it

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Speaker 1: out now.

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: They didn't get the concept.

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Speaker 4: That's a learning that's how we all learn. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So when I started listening to Ses on the Money,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, like that's how investment works and

329
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Speaker 1: stock works and all of that kind of thing. So

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Speaker 1: I learned a lot and I opened comsec.

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Speaker 4: And oh, she went hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So I actually had iag shares from my manner,

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Speaker 1: and I had started monitoring them when I kind of

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Speaker 1: I did for the longest time. I didn't even know

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Speaker 1: how to log into it, and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, these shares are crap.

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Speaker 4: These saying it.

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Speaker 1: As soon as they go up, I'm pulling it out.

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Speaker 1: These are terrible, and I'm putting them in something else.

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Speaker 1: So I pulled that out. And so I've got about

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Speaker 1: four thousand in comm sec, which is obviously not a lot,

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Speaker 1: but I've been focusing on the house deposit. So I

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Speaker 1: was kind of here and there putting towards investment, but

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Speaker 1: I was prioritizing house deposit, so I guess I kind

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Speaker 1: of try to balance more between the two. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've got four thousand in investments so far.

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Speaker 4: Wow, And we didn't ask before, but money Diarist, how

348
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 4: old are you.

349
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Speaker 1: I am at twenty six?

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Speaker 4: Oh, she's still a baby, Tony. She's still a baby,

351
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Speaker 4: and she's got four grand and she's saving for a house.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, You've got so much life ahead of you.

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Speaker 4: I love this money. Diarist to the next question is

354
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Speaker 4: do you currently have any debts.

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Speaker 1: Only hex I'm very as I said, very uptight. I

356
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Speaker 1: am not getting in any debt anything that I don't

357
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Speaker 1: have the money for. I won't buy. I bought my

358
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Speaker 1: car outright, I bought holidays outright. The only thing I

359
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 1: will say is recently I used you know Klana the

360
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 1: oh yes, So I'm like one of those very controlled people.

361
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Speaker 1: I would never let it get out of control. But

362
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 1: they had if you use it to buy something, your

363
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,200
Speaker 1: fourth payment would be free. So I was like, oh

364
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 1: my god, save me my fourth payment. I'll use this

365
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 1: and then close the account. So you best there. I

366
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,640
Speaker 1: used it, they paid my fourth payment, and I shot

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Speaker 1: the account.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think that that's a smart way to

369
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 4: use those things, but yeah, for a lot of people,

370
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 4: it's a really slippery slope. And I think I'm feeling

371
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,359
Speaker 4: really uncomfortable with how many different buy now, pay later

372
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Speaker 4: platforms exist now. And this is a while ago because

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Speaker 4: I'm in Melbourne. So it's Tony and today technically day

374
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Speaker 4: recording Tony.

375
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Speaker 1: It's our last official day of Lockedown.

376
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Speaker 4: I know this is crazy, We're going to be out soon,

377
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 4: but way back when, in the olden days, when I

378
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Speaker 4: could go to Chadstone, which was a shopping center I

379
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 4: hope to frequent again in the future. I remember just

380
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,720
Speaker 4: seeing Klana everywhere, Like it was like there were these

381
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Speaker 4: big stickers on the ground saying bye with Klana, like

382
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 4: every shop had done, and that they clearly had a

383
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 4: really big campaign going. All of the advertising. You know

384
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,880
Speaker 4: those banners that hang from the roof, they were Klian

385
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,640
Speaker 4: and everything was pink, and I was just like, wow,

386
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 4: this is so normalized to literally be shopping on debt,

387
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 4: Like it felt really overwhelming being in a situation where

388
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 4: you know, I see it online. Obviously, being in Cheese

389
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,560
Speaker 4: on the money we talk about it a lot, but

390
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 4: I just remember standing there being like it's literally being

391
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 4: pushed into my face so consistently. And then they have

392
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Speaker 4: a deal like that that you took up, which you smart,

393
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 4: which you used very intelligently, but not everybody did that

394
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 4: like that obviously was a drive to get more people

395
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,719
Speaker 4: using the platform and seeing how easy it was and

396
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 4: that it was nice and wow, they did something good

397
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 4: for me. So you've got this positive association in your mind.

398
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 4: But I would love to see some statistics which we'd

399
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 4: never get hold of because they wouldn't release them. Of

400
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,840
Speaker 4: how many clients signed up to that who are now

401
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 4: in debt because they're on that platform.

402
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they didn't close it the way that you did.

403
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,240
Speaker 1: That's the only reason I used it. I was like,

404
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 1: I know that I'm I'm not that way inclined, So

405
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, old.

406
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 4: You, Janius. Honestly, I would probably even do something like

407
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,720
Speaker 4: that because I'd be like, yes, stick it to them.

408
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 4: I'm going to take their fourth payment. They can pay

409
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 4: for a part of my dress or some shoes for me,

410
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 4: and then I'm going to run away with them great

411
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:27,280
Speaker 4: hundred perp. But not everybody sees it that way. All right.

412
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:31,199
Speaker 4: Speaking of apps, this is a very different one. Do

413
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,120
Speaker 4: you currently use shot back?

414
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 1: Guys, You're going to be so proud of me. I've

415
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 1: been using shot back for like two years. I'm probably

416
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: the biggest shot back user you've ever met your life.

417
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 4: And I, oh my gosh, we found the og.

418
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: I am obsessed and I have it. Three and a

419
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 1: half thousand dollars on shot back.

420
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 4: What Yeah, hold on, hold on three and a half

421
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 4: thousand dollars, not like three and a half dollars or

422
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 4: like three hundred and fifty dollars three and a half grand,

423
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 4: like you could buy a holiday with it.

424
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Speaker 1: I know it's it's pretty impressive. Honestly, I have. I

425
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 1: am committed, like I if I need something like I

426
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 1: will go to shop Back and find it on shop

427
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 1: Back before I buy it anywhere else, do you know

428
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 1: what I mean? Or if I'm in store, I'm like

429
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 1: the genius, Okay, I'm not buying this in store. I'll

430
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,360
Speaker 1: go home, go through shop Back at their bikes, but.

431
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 5: Not until after you've tried it on, which is very smart.

432
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's a smart She's a smart cookie.

433
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,439
Speaker 4: I love this. Can you give us some tips and tricks?

434
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 4: Like how do we be more like you?

435
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: Well, anytime I have to order flowers, I order through

436
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 1: the flower place that's on shop Back.

437
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 4: I didn't even know you could do that. That's I

438
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,640
Speaker 4: didn't even know flowers were there.

439
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 1: Yes, anytime you need to order that gift hampers anything.

440
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 1: And then also every holiday I've ever booked, I am like, Okay,

441
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: we're gonna go here, We're gonna go there then and

442
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 1: then I just wait until expeeder or something is like

443
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 1: twelve percent instead of six percent, and then I get

444
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: like three hundred dollars back on my holiday?

445
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 5: Are you working for shop Back?

446
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 1: Like?

447
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 4: Do you work for them? Mississ a paid promo?

448
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 1: They did send me an email once telling me I

449
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 1: was like in the top five percent of people that

450
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: you shot Back, And I was like, honestly, I probably

451
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 1: believe that.

452
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 4: All right, Emily Vivian, if you guys are listening to this,

453
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 4: could you please let me know these are my contacts

454
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 4: at shot Back. If you guys have actually paid this money,

455
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 4: dires like, you better let us know. But I'm so impressed.

456
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 4: So how do you keep track of it? So you

457
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,679
Speaker 4: said before, like Expedia has this twelve percent thing? Is

458
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 4: there like a website that you go to to make

459
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 4: sure you just know what's going to happen?

460
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 1: Or I'll just hold out and I'll just like, if

461
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 1: I've got a holiday I need to book, I'll just

462
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: check once a day, or like they send emails as

463
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 1: well to be like, oh, today, from nine to twelve

464
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 1: or whatever, we're going to have a flashnale of twelve percent,

465
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: six pits something like that.

466
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 4: Oh, and you just wait for those things to come up.

467
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 4: So she's got really good self control, Tony. In addition

468
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 4: to really good spending habits.

469
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 1: I've like confordered a heap of people as well. They're like,

470
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: oh my god, I bought this story shot back. I

471
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 1: thought you've been proud of me. I'm like, I am

472
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: proud of you. Good job.

473
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 4: Ah, Oh my gosh, that is so good. I literally

474
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 4: love it. I'm going to move though, because I feel

475
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 4: like this is becoming an entire shotback episode, and it

476
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 4: can be. But you know, I've got other things I

477
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 4: want to ask the next question. Maybe the answer to

478
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 4: this is our shot back. But what is your best

479
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 4: money habit?

480
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 1: I would say my best money habit is that I

481
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,360
Speaker 1: more or less will not spend a single dollar if

482
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: I don't have to, like I have, like literally people

483
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: come to me there. I like, I do not know

484
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 1: why you don't start like money tip hack website, like

485
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 1: I am like checking like fuel spire before I fell

486
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 1: at petrol. People like I don't even know what the

487
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 1: price of petrolis. I'm like, are you kidding me? I

488
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 1: cannot fathom. I'm like, no, I know.

489
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, maybe Tony, she's our next employee. It

490
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 4: sounds like it, But I've got you I really like

491
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 4: you let me know when you're joining the team.

492
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: I would be happy to. I honestly feel like I

493
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 1: would be cutting off for.

494
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 4: This work done sold.

495
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, just because my salary is not huge. I'm like,

496
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 1: I'll compensate for that in different ways. But then I'll

497
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: also save as much as I can as well. So

498
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 1: like I use Octable Survey Pure Profile, like I do

499
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: all of the survey website. I've gotten like I think

500
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 1: from Octopus, I've gotten over like twelve hundred dollars from them,

501
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: and like my interests, so I like, you know, the

502
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 1: Westpac three percent interest rate that they had going. Oh yeah,

503
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,919
Speaker 1: so they only did it up to a balance of

504
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: thirty thousand dollars. So I was like, you guys are

505
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: not going to beat me on this. So they you

506
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: know how a normal savings account if they say you

507
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 1: have to deposit like at least two hundred dollars a

508
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: month or something to get them.

509
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, to get your bonus interest. Yeah.

510
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 1: Fun fact is only you only have it only has

511
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,959
Speaker 1: to be one cent more than the month before. So

512
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: I was like, awesome, I'm going to put twenty nine

513
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: thousand dollars in here. Put a dollar in it a

514
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: month and they still have to pay me like the

515
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: almost maximum interest.

516
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 4: She's a genius. Who would have thought of that?

517
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: I know. So I I've actually put that tip in

518
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,959
Speaker 1: the Shees and the Money group before, so hopefully some

519
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: other people are doing.

520
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Westpac are gonna come for us.

521
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: I am just I just really enjoy cheating the system

522
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: and just most of it.

523
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 4: You know, it's not even cheating the system, it is

524
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 4: playing the player's game.

525
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 3: And reading that fine print girlfriend, because like, how many

526
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: people don't check the fuel spy app and don't look

527
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 3: at what you can do to maximize your benefits of

528
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 3: your interests, Like I don't. I personally don't. I'm really

529
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: bad for it. I never think to do that stuff.

530
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 3: Oh this is inspirational in more ways than one.

531
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,120
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I love you. I think you're a genius.

532
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I'm just like really on top of it.

533
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 4: And Tony here we are being like, oh, Jess is

534
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: a genius. She's using her Flybys points and she's going

535
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 4: to get her KitchenAid mixer. I think you're going to

536
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 4: put Jester shame. It's so yes, Yeah, this is the

537
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 4: next level.

538
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: A lot of people tell me I'm very obsessive, but

539
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: I personally don't think it's a bad thing. I like

540
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 1: the way that I am. No, I love it that

541
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,639
Speaker 1: I save money the way that I do.

542
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 4: And yeah, there's absolutely no way that that is a

543
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,679
Speaker 4: bad thing. You are hustling and you're doing the right thing.

544
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 4: It's not like you're like, look, guys, guys, so my

545
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 4: best money habit really good at laundering money. It's not

546
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 4: what you said.

547
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 5: We probably wouldn't post this if that's what you say.

548
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, like that's probably we cut that beat out. But

549
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm going to ask you now what your

550
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 4: worst money habit is, and maybe it's that who knows?

551
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: And I do not laan the money.

552
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 4: It's okay, Okay, thank you for clarifying.

553
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: I would say that because of the way that I am, Like,

554
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 1: I've really annoyed people that are like close to me,

555
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: like my partner, my mom, They're like, can you stop

556
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: being so stingy, Like you don't have to be like

557
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: this sometime like and I know, but it's like to

558
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: the point where I went out to go to dinner

559
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 1: with my mom and I was like, why are you

560
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: parking here? Like this costs money? Go parking the street

561
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 1: for free, and she's like, this is more convenient.

562
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 4: Oh, we don't pay for convenience in this Yeah.

563
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: I was like, no, nobody who pays convenience. It's ridiculous. Anyway,

564
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 1: she was like, you can literally just pay twelve dollars

565
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: for parking and it's not going to kill you. Will

566
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: you can't do you know what I mean?

567
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 4: No, it will kill me. It will kill my ego,

568
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 4: Like I can't.

569
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: I can't do it. No, but especially with my partner

570
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 1: obviously having lived with me and stuff, he's like, we

571
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 1: don't have to be like this. Like I know that,

572
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 1: like think about all of them money down have because

573
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: that I am like this. So I think that, like

574
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: I'm to the point where it's kind of like a

575
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 1: bit annoying.

576
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think that that's one of those things

577
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 4: that you embrace. And everybody has a different money story

578
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 4: in a different money journey, and like you might be

579
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 4: a bit annoyed, but like I can see that you're

580
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,479
Speaker 4: on the flip side annoyed at you, mum, because you're

581
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 4: like twelve bucks, Come on, that's what a.

582
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: Way I know. So yeah, I would say I know

583
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: a lot of people say what's my vost money habit

584
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: would be my best money habit as well. But yeah,

585
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 1: I feel like even though I am the way that

586
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: I am, it's also annoying sometimes for people that have

587
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 1: to deal with me. So yeah, I would say that's

588
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: probably the worst because I don't have many bad ones

589
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: because I'm so like, no, I'm not spending money on anything.

590
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,479
Speaker 4: So can we reframe that as well from people have

591
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 4: to deal with you to people get to experience you.

592
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 4: I feel like that's a better way of framing this.

593
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,119
Speaker 4: They don't have to deal with you. Look at all

594
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 4: the hot tips you're dishing out literally for free for them.

595
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 4: If I don't want to take note, that's on them,

596
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 4: not on not on you. All Right, I feel like

597
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 4: I'm going to be really interested to find out the

598
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 4: answer to this next question, and it's the last one

599
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 4: before we go to a really quick break. But if

600
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 4: we forced you to give yourself a money grade, what

601
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 4: would you grade your money habits?

602
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: Look, guys, I'm not gonna lie, probably give myself an

603
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 1: A nine.

604
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 4: Yes, I like that. After this break, we are going

605
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 4: to get straight into that. All right, let's jump back

606
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 4: into this A grade money diary and let's go back

607
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 4: to where we started. At the top of this episode.

608
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 4: You said during the period of time that you submitted

609
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 4: your money diary and then the period of time that

610
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 4: Tony contacted you, everything changed.

611
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 5: I would love to know.

612
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 4: I guess not so much from a financial point of view,

613
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 4: but that's obviously really dramatic, and it came from a

614
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 4: lot of different places, and I'm assume it built up

615
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 4: over a long period of time. But what was that

616
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 4: turning point? What made you put yourself first?

617
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: I guess that I had literally tried everything like I was,

618
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: as I mentioned before, like he was very you know,

619
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: giving in the financial aspect, but in every other aspect

620
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: of his life, Like I did everything to compensate for

621
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: that because I wasn't the one on a big salary,

622
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I was like, Okay,

623
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: because he's paying the rent, because he's doing this, because

624
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: he brought me this, like I'll make sure that I

625
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 1: do everything else. And his life was so easy because

626
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: I made it easy for him. And I was like,

627
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 1: all that I'm asking from you is to fix this

628
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: one issue, Like I'm having my mental health issues because

629
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: of this. I'm literally telling you I'm going to counseling

630
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: for an issue that's not even a problem with me,

631
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,479
Speaker 1: it's a problem with you. But you won't go, so

632
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: I'll go to try and find ways to deal with it.

633
00:28:56,480 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 1: And you know, I just tried so many things. I

634
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 1: tried leaving, came back. I'll change, I'll change, and like

635
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 1: I had just tried so many things, I just thought

636
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: there's nothing left. And I had said to him when

637
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: it all happened, he was like, look, I need to

638
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: do something. I need to change. And I was like, well, yeah, no, shit, No,

639
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: that's fine, that's fine. I was like yeah, obviously, and

640
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: he was like, I'm just going to do something about

641
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: it now and stop talking about it. And then he

642
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: went out and I was like, He's like, i'll be

643
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: home before you get home, and I was like, okay,

644
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: you probably won't be, but if you are, then good.

645
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 4: Great, great, we're on the right track.

646
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it, obviously, as I expected, didn't happen, and

647
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: it was just we classified fourteen hours of drinking as

648
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: a few beers and why was I mad about it?

649
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 1: And I was just like, you know what, I'm just

650
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: sick of doing this, Like I have been here, I'm

651
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 1: here once twice a month. I've tried everything, I've been

652
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: as good as I could be, and it just doesn't

653
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: make a difference. It's a problem, and it's one that

654
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: he doesn't see as a problem and is not interested

655
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: in fixing. And he said, he said, look, I don't

656
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: know why you have a problem. I don't think it's

657
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: an issue. And this is the way that I am.

658
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, that's like you like,

659
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: this is never going to be any different and I

660
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 1: just need to go. So I did, and I was

661
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: really sad about it, but also I was prepared, like

662
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: I knew it was coming, and I kind of just

663
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: kept hoping that it would fix itself and resolve itself

664
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't have to make that call. But it wasn't.

665
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: And you know, even though everything else was good and

666
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: we had all these plans, I was like, I need

667
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 1: to realize, Yeah, all of the future might be great,

668
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: but I need to realize what's happening right now. And

669
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: what's happening right now is not something that is serving

670
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: me or is making me happy. And even though the

671
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: idea of a future with him makes me happy, that's

672
00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 1: not what's happening.

673
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it might have been that the idea of

674
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 4: the future with him was this idea that you'd created

675
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,959
Speaker 4: in your head of what it should be like, not

676
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 4: what the reality was looking like.

677
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: It was really hard because he doesn't understand. He's like,

678
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: but I was so good to you and I did

679
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 1: all of this, and I was like, you did and

680
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 1: I would never take that away from you. And I said,

681
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: but take away the money. I said, what really did

682
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: you contribute other than being that giving? You know, there

683
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: was no love and respect towards me on this issue,

684
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: and you never tried to fix it. I don't know

685
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: who can have absolute mental breakdowns in front of their partner,

686
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: like please change this, like it needs to happen, and

687
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: them just going yeah, yeah, yeah, and then doing nothing,

688
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? So it was just

689
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: like it was hard because he was so good in

690
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: so many other ways. And it's hard because we live

691
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: in like a drinking culture where it's like, oh god,

692
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: I've got to have a wine, Oh God, I've got

693
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: But I was just like touch to the point where

694
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: I'm just like I hate drinking. I actlutely hate it.

695
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: I have no interest in it. I just ruins everything

696
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: and like I've got a negative connotation towards everything to

697
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: do with going out, being in a pub, Like I

698
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: just hate all of it, and like he's made me

699
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 1: that way, so it's changed me a lot too, and

700
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: I just knew, like it's not changing and I just

701
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: probably need to need to go, even though there was

702
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 1: other things that were really good.

703
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 3: I know it's all really new, But how are you

704
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 3: going at the moment. Obviously, this is such a recent

705
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 3: thing that's kind of happened, and you've been able to

706
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 3: take that step that you've wanted to take for such

707
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 3: a long time, But how are you actually feeling at

708
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 3: the moment.

709
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: Let's like I've done this before and gone and then

710
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: gone back a few weeks later, and I was like

711
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: beside myself, like balling, like and now I'm actually a

712
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: lot better than I thought I would be. I think

713
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: because I knew it would eventually come. I just didn't

714
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: want to actually because like logistically it was going to

715
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: be so hard, and you know a lot of that.

716
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: But I'm really sad and I love him and it sucks.

717
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: But I think I knew, and I think I've known

718
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: for a while. I just didn't want to make the call.

719
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 1: And the hopes that he would change. But I think

720
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: I just said when he sat there and said, look,

721
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 1: I don't know what your problem is. I think it's fine.

722
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm fine with the way that I am.

723
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: I grew up like this and that's that's the way

724
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 1: it is. And I was like, all right, Like that's

725
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: just an ingrained thing and it's just not going to

726
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 1: be any different. So I don't think there's any point

727
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: in me trying to change something that's ingrained in someone.

728
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

729
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 4: That's heartbreaking to hear that. You know you loved him

730
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 4: so much and you're asking him to put you first

731
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 4: over something else and he just couldn't do that. How

732
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 4: do you think he's taking this breakup? Do you think

733
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 4: that this is going to be a wake up call

734
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 4: or is he still going to be in this mindset

735
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 4: of well, I can't believe she doesn't accept me for

736
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 4: who I am.

737
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 1: He has got a bit of a temper and a

738
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 1: bit of an angry issue as well, and I think

739
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 1: I knew from previous times that I've done this. He's

740
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 1: like a yo yo. He'll be like, no, I love you,

741
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 1: come back, I hate you, I hate you. No, you're

742
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: the love of my life. I'll stop. I'll stop. No,

743
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: I can't believe you do this. Like He's just very

744
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: all over the place. So I was very prepared for that,

745
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 1: and which has already happened now this time, which I

746
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 1: was prepared for. But this time, like when he had

747
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 1: his meltdown, I was like I was almost like immune

748
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 1: to it. I was just like usually i'd be like

749
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,280
Speaker 1: beside myself crying, like, oh, I hate that he thinks

750
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: like this, and he but I was just like, you

751
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 1: know what, he can think what he wants. I've tried.

752
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,280
Speaker 1: I know I've done my best, and if he thinks

753
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,319
Speaker 1: like that and cannot see my point of view on this,

754
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 1: then so be it. And he was like, if you

755
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: don't move back into this house, I'm never speaking to

756
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 1: you again. And I was like, okay, then don't. I

757
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,239
Speaker 1: don't know what you know. You cannot say I didn't try.

758
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: I didn't last six months and go, oh, you drink

759
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: too much. I'm out to see you later. I tried

760
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: for years, and I tried every approach in the book

761
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: to get it fixed, and it just never did. And anyway,

762
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: so he has kind of settled down now and I

763
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 1: think he's at a point where he's saying, look, I

764
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: completely understand and I am old enough now that getting

765
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: to the point of when you have kids and wanting

766
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: to marry you, and if I continue down this path,

767
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 1: it's obviously not going to go well. And I don't

768
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 1: you know, And he's like, look, I'm happy to go

769
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 1: to counseling. I think it's a problem that I need

770
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: help with. And I was like, well, good, I hope

771
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: that you do, but I'm still going to live somewhere else.

772
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: And I was like, you can say all of that,

773
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: and I've been here before. You say it, and it

774
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: doesn't or it happens for a month or two and

775
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: then it just reverts to what it was before. And

776
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not coming back with all my stuff,

777
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: put it all away, get comfortable, and then once the

778
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: dust settles, it all kicks off again, and I'm not

779
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: doing it. So, if you want to go to counseling

780
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: and you want to resolve this issue that you've had

781
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: for all of your life and understand what's actually normal

782
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 1: and what's not, and you want to get all of

783
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 1: that sorted, and you know a year's time, you want

784
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:28,399
Speaker 1: to come back and say, Okay, I'm I've fully fix

785
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: this and I know what I need to do. Then, like,

786
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm not closing the.

787
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,720
Speaker 4: Door on that, but you've got to go do some work.

788
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm being away from you and I'm living

789
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: on my own and you can go and do that.

790
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: I'll go do it with myself. And that's just the

791
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 1: way that it needs to be because I've been here before,

792
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: and I don't believe you anymore.

793
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, with the visa process, because I'm assuming you've sponsored

794
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 3: him and things like that, I mean going forward, like

795
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 3: you financially responsible for him and things like that.

796
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 5: I know you said he's got a good.

797
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 3: Salary, but is that something that if you if you

798
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 3: do stay broken up, is that something that you're responsible

799
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 3: for for X amount of time?

800
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: No, there's not like a real financial obligation with that. Sure,

801
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 1: But basically it was so hard for me to make

802
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: a decision as well, because he can't really stay in

803
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 1: this country without me. So that was why a reason

804
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: I held on so long as well, Like if I

805
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 1: leave him, he's going to lose everything and beginning out

806
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,800
Speaker 1: of the country, and I don't want that for him.

807
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: So that was a big consideration as well, but only

808
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: in the last couple of weeks. We've waited two and

809
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: a half years so far, and only in the last

810
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: few weeks they've referred it to a character unit because

811
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 1: of all of his drinking offenses and everything that he's

812
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: racked up on a record because of his alcohol. Wow,

813
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: and like, I've done my time, and this is where

814
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: this has landed you because of what you've done. And

815
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: it's not my obligation anymore to stay to get you

816
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 1: through that.

817
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 4: He is not your responsibility.

818
00:37:58,960 --> 00:37:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

819
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 3: Wow, that's so difficult. That's just another complication in this

820
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 3: whole saga. I guess it's just another thing that you

821
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 3: were hanging on because you didn't want to stop him

822
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 3: from earning a living or send him home.

823
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 4: Which is so kind because that could have gone the

824
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 4: opposite way. You could have been like no, go back

825
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 4: to you, Like you could have been so nasty, but

826
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 4: you've been really, really graceful.

827
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's the thing about me, Like I don't

828
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: have a temper. I'm not an angry person. I'm not

829
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 1: a spiteful person. And you know, I was like, I

830
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 1: don't want you to go. I don't want this to

831
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: end badly for you because you've been good to me too,

832
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: but it's just something that we can't get past and yeah,

833
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 1: you know, we'll work it out and whatever. But it's

834
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: not just a simple like Okay, we've broken up, go

835
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,359
Speaker 1: our separate ways. It's almost like having a kid, but not.

836
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 4: Well, you still feel this responsibility and you didn't break

837
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 4: up with him because you don't love him. You broke

838
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 4: up with him because you love you. And that's really

839
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 4: really special and something that not enough people do, Like

840
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 4: you need to put yourself first, and like there will

841
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 4: be someone out there who sees that and puts you

842
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 4: first in every way, shape and form, and you know what,

843
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 4: maybe it could be him in a couple of years,

844
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 4: but he needs to deal with what's going on and

845
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 4: make that realization. It's not completely writing it off and

846
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 4: being like no, we're done, Like you're just like go

847
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 4: do the work, like I'll entertain it later. I mean,

848
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 4: if something else happens, something else happens. But I admire

849
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 4: the strength you have to make that decision and still

850
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 4: be so graceful and open and you know, receptive to

851
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,399
Speaker 4: what's going on, Like it's really impressive for someone so young.

852
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 4: You don't often see that level of insight or even

853
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 4: just like stolicism that you're you're showing us, which is

854
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 4: really really impressive.

855
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm trying all.

856
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 4: Right, money, diarist, I have a question for you, because

857
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,840
Speaker 4: before you said you'd negotiated in your relationship, like the

858
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 4: way you'd worked it out was that you were just

859
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 4: going to do some more work around the house and

860
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 4: he was going to contribute more financially. What does that

861
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 4: now mean for you? You said that you gave up

862
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 4: a day's worth of work each week so that you

863
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 4: got that time back. Is that going to mean you're

864
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 4: going to have to go back to work or change

865
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 4: that or what does your life look like financially now?

866
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's something that I'm considering because I'm like,

867
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 1: obviously I mentioned the way that I am earlier, and

868
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: I'm super uptight, and I'm like, oh my god, I

869
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: can't imagine taking my rent out of my nine to

870
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 1: five job, like, and my mum had said, like, that's

871
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: what normal people do, and I'm like, yeah, but I

872
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. So I'm thinking of kind

873
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:36,799
Speaker 1: of picking up work again. But yeah, So he had

874
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 1: his own business and we were profiting about twenty thousand

875
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 1: dollars a week after paying everything. Wow. So there was

876
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: a lot of money there, and it's hard for me

877
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: to kind of go but like got used to the

878
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,279
Speaker 1: dinners and the presents and all of that, and then

879
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: to kind of go back to, Okay, there's none of

880
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 1: that anymore. I have to pay for everything myself. You know,

881
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 1: it's lucky. I have no debts or anything. But I'm

882
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: proud of what I have saved and what I have.

883
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 1: Even though you know, he was providing all of this stuff,

884
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I need to save my own money

885
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: because it's allowed me to be in this position to

886
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 1: be like, all right, I'm going to get my own place.

887
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 1: I'll buy my own bed, I'll buy my own stuff,

888
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 1: and that's fine. And I think that I could have

889
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,320
Speaker 1: got easily wrapped up in oh, he's giving me everything,

890
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,439
Speaker 1: like I don't need to save my own money. Yeah,

891
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: But I never got like that. I was like, just

892
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 1: because you earn all this money doesn't mean that you

893
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 1: still shouldn't be living frugally, because imagine how much you'd

894
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: keep of it if you didn't live like you had

895
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: all that money.

896
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

897
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were still on like a tight budget because

898
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: of me, even though we had a lot of financial freedom,

899
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: I guess. But you know, I got him a financial

900
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: advisor and he, you know, knows what he's doing with

901
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: his money. And he was like, oh, like thank you.

902
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: I didn't know all of this and blah blah blah.

903
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's going to be weird for me to

904
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: kind of go back to, Okay, this is a normal salary.

905
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 1: I need have to pay my expenses and I don't

906
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: have anyone to pay them for me. But like, at

907
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 1: least I've got my own money to be comfortable enough

908
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 1: to do that and not ever be in trouble. So

909
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: I think that I'll be okay, It'll just be an adjustment,

910
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 1: I guess. Wow.

911
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like you've fully got your head screwed

912
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 3: on right and you've got a plan, you're sorted, and

913
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 3: I think this is another one of those money diaries

914
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 3: that we'd love to catch up with you again in

915
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 3: a year or two and see how far you've come

916
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 3: and the person you're turning into, because like you said

917
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: in the beginning, you're so young still and I feel

918
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 3: like you've got such a way to go.

919
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 5: But thank you so much.

920
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 3: For sharing your story with us and also chatting with

921
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: us when you are in a.

922
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 5: Really vulnerable place you're live.

923
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 3: We appreciate it so much and we actually can't do

924
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,879
Speaker 3: this stuff without you, so thank you.

925
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.

926
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 4: Thanks for sharing it. Honestly, it is so so great

927
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 4: that you get to share this story with us, because

928
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 4: I think the people listening and I'm going to learn something.

929
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 4: But too, I know that in our community there is

930
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 4: another person in exactly the same position as you were

931
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 4: forty eight hours ago that's been considering making a similar decision.

932
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 4: So it's just it's so helpful. Thank you, Thanks again,

933
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 4: thank you so much. I feel like that was such

934
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,240
Speaker 4: a powerful story that I know, as I've said already,

935
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 4: so many people are going to resonate with. But as always,

936
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 4: just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge and

937
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 4: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torrest Right islander peoples,

938
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 4: the traditional custodians of the lands, waterways and skies all

939
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 4: across Australia. We thank you for sharing and the caring

940
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 4: for the land on which we are able to learn.

941
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 4: We pay our respects to elders past and present, and

942
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 4: we share our friendship and our kindness.

943
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 3: The advice shared on ses on the Money is general

944
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 3: in nature and does not con city your individual circumstances.

945
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 3: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and

946
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 3: should not be relied upon to make an investment or

947
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 3: any financial decision. And we promise that Victoria Divine is

948
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 3: an authorized representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited

949
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 3: ABM three four one three two four six three two

950
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 3: five seven AFSL three three nine one five one.

951
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 4: And if alcohol is a problem for you, if it's

952
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 4: harming you or someone that you know, it might be

953
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 4: time to seek advice from a professional. Of course, you

954
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 4: can talk to your local GP or local health clinic,

955
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 4: but you can also reach out to our friends at

956
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 4: drink Wise. All of the information you need is in

957
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 4: our show notes today. See you next week, guys.

958
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 5: Bye,