WEBVTT - SEEING GREEN - The Jealous type 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:25.040 Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:29.320 I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and I feel really excited 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:32.040 to be here today because I feel a bit rejuvenated. 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:34.360 I had a weekend away and I feel like I've 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:36.920 come back and I haven't seen you in like a week. Well, 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:38.560 I feel rejuvenated too. 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:40.360 Do you know what I've hit the point in my 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:43.320 pregnancy now where yesterday I sneezed and I pissed myself. 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.280 And I'm not talking like a little week I'm talking 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.720 like in public sneeze and my bladder let go. So 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:55.040 just to clarify, how do you feel rejuvenated because of that? 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.800 Is that just makes you feel fresh, like you shower yourself, 0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:00.760 No being psychastic. 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:02.960 I've just reached that point in my life now where 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:05.240 I don't have control over my bodily functions like I 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:06.960 thought I would get there when I was a geriatric, 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:07.720 but apparently not. 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.720 Thirty four is the year where. 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.280 Now I don't have any control over my pelvic floor muscles. 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:16.360 Okay, And so when you we yourself in public, is 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:18.039 it just like the tiniest little bit or you mean 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:19.400 like it's you're proper. 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:25.360 Satched well normally. Look, I mean I've been at the 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:27.720 at the sneeze and weir a little bit stage for 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:30.960 a while. But yeah, like like, oh that's uncomfortable, but 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.560 that just happened. No, this was like I sneezed and 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:34.560 I wet myself. 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:35.720 Like it wasn't. 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:37.920 It wasn't like those cute commercials where you see where 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.000 it's like, oh, I sometimes say sneeze and a little 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:40.840 leakage comes out. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.120 Like I fully peed myself. This kid is sitting on 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.679 my bladder and jumping up and down. I was like, 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.160 here it comes in accidentally unfiltered stories on the podcast. 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:51.600 I actually love that. Not love that for you, but 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:52.360 I love that for me. 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.320 I also have these like bruises I don't know, like 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:57.160 to all the other pregnant women out there, I had 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.400 these bruises all down the sides of my legs across 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:04.160 my stomach because I don't have spatial awareness about how 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:06.760 big I am and this has just happened in a 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:09.120 very short period of time. So I run into walls. 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.400 I run into the baby gate at home, I run 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.560 into the baby gate at work. Like I just keep 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.400 running into things that normally I would fit through, and 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:18.480 I no longer fit through them like doors. 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.520 I feel like that's because you, to me, as an 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:25.280 outlooker looking in, I feel like you were like not pregnant, 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:27.840 not pregnant, not pregnant, not pregnant, not pregnant, pregnant, like 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.000 out of nowhere. Your belly just came out of nowhere. 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:32.920 I thought you didn't look pregnant until literally maybe three 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:34.920 weeks ago. So I reckon, that's what's happened. You just 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:36.480 you're not used to it, and it wasn't there. It 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:37.360 just popped out. 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:40.760 That's exactly what's happened, knocking things left, right and center. Anyway, 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:44.920 it's happening. It's actually happening sooner than what I keep remembering. 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.840 I keep forgetting. I mean, you do have a date, Yeah, 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.720 I do, and I keep forgetting what that date is, 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.760 and it is quickly approaching, which is very frightening in 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:54.320 my pants. 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.120 Do you know what I love about this? Actually, I'm 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:58.720 just going to tell the people our private conversations and 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:01.720 our private concerns. I'm like, Laura, I've got some concerns. 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.800 I'm a bit stressed about what's happening. What's gonna happen 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:06.600 when you have the baby? How long you're gonna need 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.359 a lot of time off. I was like, because you're 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.320 gonna have a two year old a newborn. You run, 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:14.600 Tony May, We've got the podcast. What we let's put 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:17.680 some plans into place. Baby, It's fine, it's not even 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:20.200 it's not even gonna be hard. She's like, I'm gonna 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.160 be fine. I'll take like two weeks off. And I'm like, 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:23.600 oh no, it's gonna be it's gonna be pretty hard. 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:26.080 I think it's like nuts. It's having two is just 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:28.000 like having one. And I'm in my head, I'm like, 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:29.839 oh my god, this is I know, I can see 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:32.840 this imploding. But I love your optimism. 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:36.320 I'm somebody who thrives in chaos. So like, the more 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:39.680 priotic my life is, the more I actually get shit done, 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.680 and like that makes people who are like a personality 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.640 types and very organized, very stressed. But when things are 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:48.080 just out of control in my life, I'm like, oh, 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:49.960 this is my element here. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:52.480 I am Laura and I do get We do our 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.360 best work at like two am the day that something 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:59.280 is due, when we're stressed to the nines. But this 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.880 is me trying to really be like a good businessman. 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.920 Business farder and like preempt the chaos is going to happen. 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:07.520 But I think I can't. I think we're just gonna 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:08.840 have to roll with it. Sit what happened, but. 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:10.440 Also think of all the funny stories that are going 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.320 to come as a result of this. But anyway, enough 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.240 about me and not being able to fit three walls 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:18.560 and peeing myself. Guys, here we are another episode. I'm 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.880 sure that's not how you expected this one to start. 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:23.520 I went away for the weekend to put mcquarie back 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:25.839 home to the Fanbam. It was my sister Sherry's thirtieth, 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:27.880 which was the longest bloody thirtieth. I feel like I've 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:31.000 celebrated over two weeks. My Nana came from Sydney and 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.680 we had this little house party. But my Nana and 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:35.919 my mom and dad and they got lit. My Nana 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:38.760 was lit like she she's like, I haven't partied in 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.400 twenty years. She was down in the line. She was 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:43.719 the life of the party. They loved it. But we 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:45.120 had such a good time and. 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.080 Was just imagining Nana Hockley doing fireballs and taking her 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:48.560 top off. 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.599 She was she was like there were photos of us 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:53.120 where she's like you know when you're at I don't 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:55.160 know why we even did this. We were all pretty drunk. 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:56.600 You know when you do those FoST where you lift 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:59.040 someone up sideways. My eighty five year old Nana, I 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.840 was like sideways while these drunk people were thrown around. 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:04.360 I'm like, just roll with it, roll with it. But 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:06.840 it was just nice to get away. Also, the beaches 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:09.159 in Port Macquarie incredible. No one's on them. It was 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.400 just like you could have kilometers of empty beaches which 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.479 you just will never get here. So I feel like 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:17.400 it was a bit of a revive and maybe that's 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.400 why I'm coming this morning with so much energy. So guys, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.760 you know, we've been working for a little while now 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:24.839 with our friends over a Bumble. And you know that 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:27.159 I have personally been working with Bumble because I have 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:30.560 been on Bumble for seven years. But she's also been 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:33.680 on a bus stop as the Bumble Ambassador. I'm not 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:39.120 shy about it anyway. But because we've been working them, 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.720 we have a really great funny segment coming up today 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.839 where we're going to be talking about your best, funniest, 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:50.000 most awkward, weird, and wonderful online bumble dating stories because 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.160 we know there are a lot of them. Then we're 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.200 going to be jumping into the episode today, guys, which 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.560 we should probably tell you what it's about. It is 0:05:56.600 --> 0:06:00.960 about jealousy, and a very specific type of jealousy called 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:05.480 retroactive or retrospective jealousy. Now that's something I hadn't heard before. 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:07.720 I don't think you'd heard about it much, Laura. So 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:09.479 we were like, let's jump into that. 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.480 Well, it's definitely something that we hadn't heard the label for. However, 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:14.720 someone was talking about it in the Facebook group and 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:18.480 it's so retroactive jealousy is like when you are jealous 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:20.960 of your partner's ex for example. Well, we'll get into 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.560 that fully in a little while. But we both saw 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:25.039 it and it came up in the Facebook group and 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.080 we were like, this is such an interesting topic because 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:29.360 jealousy is something that we all deal with at different 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:32.599 points in our relationships. It's an emotion that's a bit icky, 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.400 but we cannot get away from it. And we thought, 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.760 being a relationship podcast, how have we gotten to this 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:41.280 point and never spoken about jealousy. But before we get 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.640 into that, I know you haven't accidentally unfilled the story 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:43.920 for me. 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.360 I do and it comes from one of our own. 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:49.480 It was in our Facebook group, and I just had 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:51.960 the biggest chuckle. It's Laura. I don't know if you've 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:57.760 seen it, but basically this is what she says. She's 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:02.839 grolling Facebook and she sees the Facebook Life Uncut group post. 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.120 Then she sees another post under it, and she just 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:09.159 assumes it was the Facebook Life on Cut group. The 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.480 question was if you had to name your child after 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:14.960 the last thing you touched, what would you call it? 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:22.160 So she writes in penis ha And then like an 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:25.800 hour later, when some other people in her community group 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:28.320 write to her being like you can't post that, she 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:31.240 realizes that she didn't write that in a Life on 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.760 Cut group. It was just like a community suburb group 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:35.880 and it was just like general questions between the moms 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:37.200 like what would you call your kid if it was 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:38.840 the last thing you touched? And she was like, Dirk, 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:40.800 but she thought she was writing it to our group, 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.400 and she was like, I'm fucking mortified, but I just 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:44.600 thought that was a cutettle thing. 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:46.480 Ever, are you guys go rogue in the life on 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:46.960 cart group. 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:48.320 We love it, We're here for it. If you want 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:51.560 to call your kid penis look nah maybe actually no, 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.960 let's be yeah, probably not okay, but also kind of funny. 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:58.360 I imagine it like it's like the Bondi local group, 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.160 you know, like the bi swap sell and stuff. I 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:01.920 think she just put in a local suburb group. 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.520 I think it's hilarious, although it really does open that 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:07.720 up to interpretation. Name your kid, the last thing you touched. 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:10.920 What would yours be? Porridge table, microphone? 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:15.560 Mine would be spirrillina ha hah. That has made a 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.360 green smoothie Go health anyway, guys, So, like. 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:20.960 Britt said, we do have this very special segment today 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.040 where we put a call out on our instagrams for 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:27.960 your funniest Bumble online dating stories and wholely shit nickers. 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.520 We have received some of the most hilarious stories, and 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.120 like obviously we know that there are so many online 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:36.880 dating success stories that come out of Bumble and come 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.280 out of all of the different online platforms. However, they're 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.200 not necessarily the funniest ones. A lot of the funny 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:45.680 stories we've come out of this dating fails. Even with 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:49.079 dating fails, there's often been times where they've turned into 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.840 long term relationships. However, I do have a question for 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:54.479 you britt And it's all about like what is the etiquette? 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:57.160 So we had so many funny stories coming in, and 0:08:57.200 --> 0:08:59.320 one of the stories that came in really made me 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:01.760 think about this. If you have match with someone on 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:05.320 online dating, you've exchanged a few words with them, but 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:08.679 you've not organized a date, it hasn't really gone any further. 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:10.719 But then just say you're at the beach, or you're 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:12.600 at a bar, or you're somewhere and you see them 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.320 in real life. What is the etiquette there? Can you 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.520 go up and talk to them? Can you go up 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.240 and be like would you go up and say like, hey, 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:21.920 we matched on bumble, like, let's date. 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.600 Okay, I've spoken to them, but I've never met them 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:29.120 in real life. I would probably not because I'd be like, 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:31.000 there's no way they recognize who I am in real life. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.600 That's what I would think. I would be like, there's 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.200 not another fucking who I am, Like my my online 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:37.600 dating profile is pretty mint, Like I've got a bet. 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:39.559 This is why I. 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:42.400 Always say to you, like, you cannot putka and they 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:44.280 think that this is a rule for online dating. You 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.760 cannot put your absolute best photos where you look so 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:49.959 much hotter than you normally look in day to day 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.640 life for the fear of running into a match and 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.000 then being like that girl looks vaguely like someone I 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:56.600 matched on Bumble except less hot. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.480 I did that for so long, obviously, like you as 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.400 like a CEV, so you put your best foot forward, 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.120 until I realized this and I did change. I've got 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.120 like a few really good photos, and then I've got 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.160 a few like really normal photos, literally normal day to 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.000 day I mean they're not my they're not my worst photos. 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.080 I've tried to keep it semi normal and semi like, 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:15.960 this is what I'm liking the date, but this is 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:19.319 my potential at night, I can go from a seven 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:22.320 to a ten reel clip now. So no, I think 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.640 you're totally entitled to if you go. If you have 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.440 seen someone and you're like, I think we've met on 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:29.760 Bumble before, someone has said that to me. Actually, we're 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:33.120 at the Royal in Bondai, which is our local. He 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:34.960 came up to me and he's like, he's like, hey, 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:36.800 we mushed on Bumble, but you didn't reply, and I 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:39.600 was like, ah, did we There's the reason why we 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:42.760 didn't apply. But no, I think definitely, I think you 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.040 can one hundred percent cop and strike up the conversation 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.440 because what is the difference? I agree, I. 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:49.679 Guess the difference is like not having that anonymity, and 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:52.560 like the fear of being rejected in real life is 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:56.800 much greater than the fear of being rejected online. You've matched? Yeah, totally, Well, Okay. 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:58.559 The reason why I thought I would ask this was 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:00.840 because one of the funny story that came in and 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:02.800 this is like, this is a success story, So this 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.240 one isn't that funny. The rest of them are much 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.319 much funnier. Usually the funny stories come when she's gone 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:10.319 completely wrong. One of our listeners had been at the 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:13.320 Opera bar and she was waiting to meet this guy 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.560 who she'd matched. She was waiting for him, and this 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:18.200 other guy came up to her and was like, Hey, 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.480 we've matched on Bumble before, Like how you're going, And 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:23.720 she was kind of like, this is really awkward because 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.240 I'm here meeting someone else, but was trying to wrap 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:28.680 the conversation up pretty quickly that at the same time 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:30.760 was like, Oh, I'm really vibing this guy, Like he 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:35.000 is hot, he is great. They had obvious real chemistry. Anyway, 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:36.800 she went on her date. The date was a bit 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:38.760 of a flog, and then at the end of the 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.520 day the guy from the original matchually the guy who 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.160 came up at the start, came up and was like, 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:44.959 I'd love to be able to take you out sometime. 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:50.679 And they're still together. Yes, there you go, it actually happens. Well, 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:52.840 there's your answer everyone. If you see someone in the 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:56.640 wild that you have matched online, approach them with caution, 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:58.199 but approach them. Oh. 0:11:58.280 --> 0:11:59.520 I don't know if I had the guys, but anyway, 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.440 let's get in some of these actual funny stories. 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.360 I'm going to kick start. So I was meant to 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:08.440 be meeting this beautiful, beautiful, tall, six foot three blonde 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.160 man with freckles. He seemed super fit and had really 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:13.120 good chat. I got to the place that we were 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.720 supposed to meet, which was Manly wharf bar. I stood 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.040 in the line with the COVID sign keep your distance 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:21.120 weight here. Suddenly this random guy in the line with 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.800 fiery red hair strikes up a conversation with me. I 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.200 look at him, well, I looked down at him because 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.600 he's shorter than me. I'm five ten and I was 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.080 wearing my heels because why not. My hot date was 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.360 six foot three. I say hi, and I try to 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.800 be polite. I mean, I was looking pretty damn good, 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.480 so I don't blame him. This guy starts asking me 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:40.880 questions and I feel really awkward, and I look down 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:42.840 at my phone trying to get away, and I see 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.360 that there is a message from my hot date saying 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.280 I'm in the line. I look around and I type 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:53.000 I can't see you. Suddenly, this little guy with a 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:56.520 fiery red hair checks his phone and it's the message 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:59.160 that I had just sent. I wanted to die. He 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.640 looked up at me and said, oh, your message just 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:06.640 came through. The reception must be bad in here. I 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:09.240 sat with my date the whole time, feeling like an awkward, big, 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:14.160 friendly giant. He catfished her. That's so wrong, but also 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.520 how funny that she's message in him saying I can't 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:17.839 see you, and he's there and he's like, I'm just 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:22.680 here receptions bat but also like he must. 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.160 He's obviously had completely faith profile photos up. 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.200 Do these people think is going to happen? You would 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:28.800 be surprised. 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.200 This was not the first one I received another one 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.840 where the girl had gone to the bar and she 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.960 was meeting this really hot African American guy, you know, 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:39.640 six foot five, and then rocked up and it was 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:41.920 a tiny, little redhead guy, and he was like, Hey, 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:43.800 I'm sorry I catfish you, but I know you wouldn't 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:45.840 have swiped right on me. But I'm hoping my personality 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:46.679 might shine. 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:51.480 Through what is wrong with people? No, okay, if this 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.319 is my thing too, if you're gonna catfish, I'm not 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.359 condoning it, but I'm just trying to get on this wavelength. 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:59.880 I'll break it down, Brittany, if you are going to catfish, 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:02.320 wouldn't you try to catfish with someone that was just 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.560 like a remotely better version of you? Like, keep it 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:07.959 on the same wavelength. If you're a short redhead, why 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:09.800 would you put a six foot five black guy. If 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:13.280 you're a short white man with red hair, why put 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:16.679 a six foot five black man as your catfish? Like, 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.120 you couldn't be more polar opposite at. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.840 Least, maybe keep it within the same ethnicity and also 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:23.880 within the same hair coloring one hundred percent. 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:25.320 Maybe just change the height a little bit. 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:27.880 When I got that story through from this listener, I 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:29.760 was like, why didn't you just get up and leave? 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.360 Like I'm sorry, but no, good relationship has come from 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.440 a basis of lying, Like, I don't think that that's 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:36.320 a really great foundation to start from. 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:38.080 Can I just ask you something on that if you 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:41.160 went there to a date, because this hasn't actually happened 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:42.320 to me, but if you went there and it was 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.680 a blatant catfish and he's like, but please, I'm really nice, 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:47.280 would you leave one hundred percent? Yeah, I would do. 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:52.000 I think it's it's too uncomfortable. It's also like very suspicious, 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.320 and like I would question how much of the rest 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:57.960 of the conversation we've had was untrue. So I don't care, Like, 0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:59.760 I'm not basing this on what you look like. I'm 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.920 not saying that this is because I find you unattractive. 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.000 But if you have lied to me about that so casually, 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:07.720 then I would think that you are very casual about 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.000 lying about other aspects of your life. So I would 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:11.920 be sitting there going I don't know what's real and 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:14.120 not real anymore. This is not the foundation of what 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:16.520 I want from a relationship. See you later. How Like, 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.360 I'm not that invested in someone I. 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.040 Don't know, all right, give me another one. 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.600 Okay, So I met this guy on bumble and we 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:26.160 had such good chemistry, heaps of banter. We went on 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:27.840 a date and he picked me up and we went 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.160 for far Is it far off? 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.160 Fau? Oh, it's actually fuh fu. 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.840 Okay, this is very controversial guys, if you say faux 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:36.720 or if you say far. 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.360 Now, I'm pretty sure it's far, but ninety percent people 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:40.080 say faux. 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:41.680 And I still say fau. But I'm only saying far 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:42.960 because I don't want people to correct me. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:44.240 I just say, can I get them? Before? 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.320 So they went to have some really spicy Asian soup. 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.640 Now I'm one of those people who love spicy food. 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.440 I mean the spicier the better. So here I am 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.600 dishing a ton of chili onto my soup. The guy 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.520 that I'm there with pretends that he also likes the 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.280 heat too, so he's having at least double the amount 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:04.440 that I'm having. I think he's trying to impress me 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:07.200 by how much he likes chili. Beads of sweat all 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.640 over his face, and after dinner he suggests that we 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:12.280 go for a walk just around the river. 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:13.320 It's a lovely view. 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.800 All of a sudden, he is desperate for the toilet 0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:18.640 and he disappears. 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:22.920 In chili shits, He disappears into a restaurant for a 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:24.280 whole hour. 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:28.120 When he gets back, he told me he actually shit 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:29.240 his pants and. 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:33.840 Wanted to and couldn't proceed on the walk. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:37.360 Obviously, I suggested that we go home. He was driving, 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:39.520 so I had to sit in the car. His window 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.280 was broken. It didn't go down on the passenger side. 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:44.960 I can still remember the smell to this day, and 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:49.680 it was over a year ago. Not my heart is 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:51.080 actually breaking for him. 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:53.960 Would you give him another chance? Do you know why 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:54.480 you would? 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:58.160 I would not, do you know what, because only because 0:16:58.200 --> 0:16:59.880 I have been in that position before where you could 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.600 giving me a million dollars not to pooh, and I 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:06.119 couldn't have done it. Like sometimes in life there's gonna 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:07.359 be a moment where you need to pooh and it 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.000 doesn't change who you are as a person. 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:11.919 It just maybe changes you diet in the future. No 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:13.960 more chili for you, man, Why is this a thing? 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.439 Like I've seen this with other people. My mom and 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:19.280 my stepdad do it as well. So they they love chili, 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:21.399 both of them, but they have like chili almost like 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:24.240 they had this like unspoken chili competition as to who 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:25.960 can eat the hottest foods, and they're like, well, I 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:27.920 like chili more than you like chili, and they buy 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:32.440 some like ridiculous fifty dollars most expensive, most hottest chili 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:34.000 in the world's sauce to put on all their food. 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:35.920 They'll put it on fucking pancakes, and you're like, what 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:37.680 are you? Who are you trying to prove this too? 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.240