1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,040
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for.

2
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just once answers. Now I've

3
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,920
Speaker 2: realized I'm not lost at all. I just stopped giving

4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,840
Speaker 2: time to myself a long time ago. It's time to

5
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,880
Speaker 2: rediscover things I once knew but have forgotten. It is

6
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,279
Speaker 2: in the asking that I am found and now here's

7
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,919
Speaker 2: the stars of our show.

8
00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,560
Speaker 1: My Mom and Dad Parental Guidance. Episode three is back

9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,080
Speaker 1: on the Telly tonight on Channel nine seven thirty. I

10
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 1: can't wait to talk about it tomorrow, Kylie. For those

11
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,479
Speaker 1: of you who have not watched it and are in

12
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,280
Speaker 1: Australia and can therefore access it, episodes one and two

13
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,360
Speaker 1: are available on the nine Now app, and episode three

14
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:46,000
Speaker 1: happens tonight with a really big moment. I can't say

15
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,239
Speaker 1: much except tomorrow we're going to have a big conversation

16
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,120
Speaker 1: about emotion coaching. That's that's really the thing that we're

17
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,160
Speaker 1: going to be talking about. I can't wait for this, Kylie. Today,

18
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,680
Speaker 1: I've asked you to take over the podcast. Every month,

19
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,680
Speaker 1: I had an article for our Happy Family's premium members.

20
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,759
Speaker 1: You talk about being a mum and how we can

21
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:11,280
Speaker 1: find joy in our lives and on today's podcast, I

22
00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,320
Speaker 1: want you to read what you wrote for our Happy

23
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,960
Speaker 1: Families members last month for two reasons. Number one, I

24
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,440
Speaker 1: think everyone should hear it. A number two, if people

25
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,320
Speaker 1: want more of this, then I think they should know

26
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,679
Speaker 1: where they can get it, which is in our Happy

27
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,039
Speaker 1: Families premium membership. But what you wrote was so.

28
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:32,280
Speaker 2: Good what's called lost and found. It was a beautiful

29
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,000
Speaker 2: autumn morning, even though my time with the kids before

30
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,679
Speaker 2: school had left me feeling frazzled. Fragments of light shattered

31
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,720
Speaker 2: the water's surface, with just the hint of a breeze

32
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,760
Speaker 2: brushing against my skin. As I scanned the periphery of

33
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,120
Speaker 2: the area where I was waiting for my friend, She

34
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,600
Speaker 2: was tucked up cozily into one of the backed bench

35
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,640
Speaker 2: seats down by the lookout. As I took my place

36
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,120
Speaker 2: next to her, I instantly felt an unexpressed but tangible

37
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,040
Speaker 2: permission to drop my load, just for a few moments.

38
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:04,200
Speaker 2: It started with an audible and heavy weighted sigh. It's

39
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,640
Speaker 2: been such a crappy week this week, with justin a way.

40
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,240
Speaker 2: The weight of doing it all alone is exhausting. And

41
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 2: what's so frustrating is I've done such a great job

42
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,160
Speaker 2: at holding up the fort all week, but today it's

43
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,720
Speaker 2: too heavy to carry on my own. I just miss

44
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,200
Speaker 2: him so much, the kids miss him, and I haven't

45
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,640
Speaker 2: had a moment to myself all week. I just can't

46
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 2: do it all. I hear you. It's been a really

47
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,799
Speaker 2: hard week, really hard, my friend said, And that's when

48
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,720
Speaker 2: I noticed the tear is flowing freely now behind her sonnies.

49
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,840
Speaker 2: It's amazing how being vulnerable with others allows them to

50
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,360
Speaker 2: let down their guard as well. And for a few

51
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 2: not so brief moments in time, I let my friend

52
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,240
Speaker 2: drop her bundle, the one that's weighed her down all

53
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,360
Speaker 2: week and left her feeling like she just might drown

54
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,119
Speaker 2: in it all. As she started to open up more

55
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,280
Speaker 2: and more, it wasn't one big thing, it was one

56
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,959
Speaker 2: hundred little things that all added to a load. But then,

57
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,200
Speaker 2: almost out of nowhere, she shared her deepest, darkest hurt.

58
00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,720
Speaker 2: I don't even know who I am anymore. I used

59
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,840
Speaker 2: to love art, going to the gym with my friends,

60
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,000
Speaker 2: but then the kids came along, and slowly, over time,

61
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,040
Speaker 2: being a mum and wife consumed me. I don't even

62
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,520
Speaker 2: know what I like, what lights me up? What is

63
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,440
Speaker 2: wrong with me. I have such a blessed life. My

64
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,520
Speaker 2: kids are amazing, my husband is attentive, but I just

65
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:22,000
Speaker 2: feel so lost. My friend is not alone. In fact,

66
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 2: it's a conversation I've held with so many of my

67
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,560
Speaker 2: friends and acquaintances over the past year or more, and

68
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,160
Speaker 2: I've found myself feeling similarly in recent times. Whenever I

69
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,320
Speaker 2: have these thoughts, I recall the movie Runaway Bride. Julia

70
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,520
Speaker 2: Roberts plays a woman Maggie, who has left multiple suitors

71
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,360
Speaker 2: literally standing at the altar as she clashes with the

72
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,120
Speaker 2: journalist doing a story on her habit of accepting marriage

73
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,680
Speaker 2: proposals and then running away from them. Maggie realizes that

74
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,360
Speaker 2: she has spent a lifetime pleasing others instead of becoming

75
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,640
Speaker 2: her own person. Now she has no idea which version

76
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,480
Speaker 2: of herself is the real her. Some serious sleuthing on

77
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,160
Speaker 2: the part of the reporter leads to an exchange between them.

78
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 2: Here's what happens in the movie. We're so nice and

79
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,440
Speaker 2: even know what kind of eggs You're like, yes, yes,

80
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:04,840
Speaker 2: that's right.

81
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,360
Speaker 1: We appreciate you. Want to scramble with a deadhead. It

82
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 1: was fried with the other guy, the bug guy. It

83
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,760
Speaker 1: was poached now it's like, oh, egg quite only, thank

84
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,000
Speaker 1: you very much. That is called a change in your mind. No,

85
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,480
Speaker 1: that's called not having a mind of your own. Maggie,

86
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,320
Speaker 1: what are you doing?

87
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,160
Speaker 2: Soon we see Maggie in the kitchen, cooking eggs every

88
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,880
Speaker 2: which way to see how she likes them cooked. It

89
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,520
Speaker 2: is that scene that gave me some inspiration. As I

90
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,680
Speaker 2: said in the Uncomfortable Place recently, asking the same questions

91
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,200
Speaker 2: my friend was now posing to me, who am I?

92
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,919
Speaker 2: And what lights me up? As I sat with my

93
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,159
Speaker 2: friend and that hard plays on that beautiful autumn day,

94
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,360
Speaker 2: both feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders,

95
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,800
Speaker 2: we talked about three things we could both do to

96
00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:47,120
Speaker 2: help us rediscover the light we had once both experienced

97
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,479
Speaker 2: in different ways but feels like a lifetime ago. Maybe

98
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:54,919
Speaker 2: I was channeling my inner doctor justin Maybe not, but

99
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,560
Speaker 2: we both felt a lot better at the end of

100
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,799
Speaker 2: the conversation. Number One, feel the fear, do it anyway.

101
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,480
Speaker 2: We could talk about this one all day. There are

102
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 2: so many scripts that we have carried with us, some

103
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,480
Speaker 2: programmed into us from birth, some we have acquired through

104
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,800
Speaker 2: our own experiences. Things like I'm not very good at art,

105
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,400
Speaker 2: I hate the gym, I don't eat avocados. Or maybe

106
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,880
Speaker 2: it's that I'm no good at making new friends. I'm

107
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,279
Speaker 2: not a public speaker. I could never do dot dot

108
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,320
Speaker 2: dot fill in the blanks. But just because we think

109
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,960
Speaker 2: those thoughts, it doesn't make them true. Set yourself a

110
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,520
Speaker 2: goal to try something new every day, once a week

111
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,240
Speaker 2: or month. It doesn't matter the frequency, It's more about

112
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 2: the intention behind it. You'll never discover what lights you

113
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,480
Speaker 2: up by sitting on the couch. For me, right now,

114
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,719
Speaker 2: I'm focused on the things I've always been too afraid

115
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,720
Speaker 2: to try because I might look silly. I've signed up

116
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:48,799
Speaker 2: for pilates and art classes. Number two, make time for friends.

117
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,440
Speaker 2: I get it. Being a mom is a full time

118
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,279
Speaker 2: job and then some. And for those of you working

119
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,240
Speaker 2: mums and single mums, I applaud you. This is a

120
00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,120
Speaker 2: tough gig. We can easily be swallowed up in all

121
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,080
Speaker 2: that needs to be done just so home life functions.

122
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,880
Speaker 2: Then we don't give ourselves permission to be with the

123
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,080
Speaker 2: people who light us up. And if you don't feel

124
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,080
Speaker 2: like you have anyone who does it for you right now,

125
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,599
Speaker 2: start small, make a connection and grow from there. A

126
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,400
Speaker 2: year ago, when we moved I knew no one, but

127
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,120
Speaker 2: I asked a lady I had just met if she

128
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,520
Speaker 2: was keen to go walking once a week and show corror.

129
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,480
Speaker 2: She said, yes, We've been walking ever since. Number three.

130
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,000
Speaker 2: Move your body justin keeps banging this drama our home.

131
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,640
Speaker 2: Research suggests time and time again that moving our bodies

132
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,839
Speaker 2: has more positive impact on us psychologically than speaking with

133
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:39,080
Speaker 2: a therapist or even medication. It's so powerful. Imagine the

134
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,640
Speaker 2: positive impact you would get if you applied all three

135
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,039
Speaker 2: together and found a friend who was open to trying

136
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,679
Speaker 2: something new with you while you both moved your bodies.

137
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,600
Speaker 2: Sometimes we can find ourselves feeling a little lost, maybe stark,

138
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,760
Speaker 2: and in some cases, feeling like we have no control

139
00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:56,400
Speaker 2: over our circumstances. The weight of that can be all consuming,

140
00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 2: But no matter how insignificant it may seem, don't underestimate

141
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,000
Speaker 2: the power of change. Challenging the way we see things

142
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,280
Speaker 2: can feel daunting at first, but it can also open

143
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:10,520
Speaker 2: our eyes to the light. Your light. Who am I?

144
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 2: I am a woman who will no longer hold herself

145
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,800
Speaker 2: back because I'm too scared to try something new in

146
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,200
Speaker 2: case I fail. It is in the trying that I

147
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,480
Speaker 2: am learning what lights me up and I like what

148
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,440
Speaker 2: I'm discovering. I have realized I'm not lost at all.

149
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,840
Speaker 2: I just stopped giving time to myself a long time ago.

150
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,920
Speaker 2: It's time to rediscover things I once knew but have forgotten.

151
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,600
Speaker 2: It is in the asking that I am found.

152
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,200
Speaker 1: Every month you have the opportunity to share I guess

153
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,000
Speaker 1: a bit of your heart, but certainly a whole lot

154
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,480
Speaker 1: of your mind when it comes to what's going on.

155
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,120
Speaker 1: And when you wrote that article, it struck me for

156
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,240
Speaker 1: a couple of reasons. First off, I thought the three

157
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:52,120
Speaker 1: pieces of advice you gave were channeling me. I mean,

158
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,320
Speaker 1: that was just great advice. You must live with me

159
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,880
Speaker 1: or something. But what I want to talk to you

160
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: about for maybe the next four or five minutes is

161
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,640
Speaker 1: just this idea of mums, specifically because I don't think

162
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,280
Speaker 1: it happens to dad's certainly not in the same way,

163
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,440
Speaker 1: not to the same degree, but mums losing their sense

164
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,640
Speaker 1: of who they are. And I don't have any specific

165
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,480
Speaker 1: questions for you, but I want to know where that

166
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,320
Speaker 1: comes from, what you've observed, what stands out to you

167
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,920
Speaker 1: in your conversations with other mums, more.

168
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:29,480
Speaker 2: Times than not as a male, your sense of identity

169
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:33,400
Speaker 2: is tied up in the career choice that you've made.

170
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,480
Speaker 2: I'm a builder, I'm a painter, I'm.

171
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,839
Speaker 1: An it guru, I'm a parenting.

172
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,680
Speaker 2: I'm a parenting expert. And every day you go to

173
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,360
Speaker 2: work and you are actually able to feel like you've

174
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,679
Speaker 2: accomplished something by the end of the day more times

175
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 2: than not. As an account and you crunch the numbers,

176
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,120
Speaker 2: You've got somebody's fast altogether.

177
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,800
Speaker 1: I don't know, have you seen my productivity? There are

178
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,720
Speaker 1: many days where I come home and wonder what I

179
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:56,320
Speaker 1: did all day.

180
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,120
Speaker 2: No, but you get to disappear and stand in front

181
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,280
Speaker 2: of crowds and have people tell you how grateful they

182
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,280
Speaker 2: are for the things that you're teaching them because it

183
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,680
Speaker 2: changes life.

184
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:08,200
Speaker 1: There is no better job in terms of having to

185
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,320
Speaker 1: be out of the home and paid employment. I just

186
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:10,800
Speaker 1: love what I do.

187
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,800
Speaker 2: I made a conscious decision to become a mum. It's

188
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 2: all I wanted to be, and yet there are days

189
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,520
Speaker 2: when I feel like I have accomplished nothing.

190
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,520
Speaker 1: So I want to ask you a question.

191
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:30,439
Speaker 2: Wiped bottoms, cleaned toilets, as picked up food that's been

192
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,680
Speaker 2: thrown on the floor, And that was in the early

193
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,560
Speaker 2: days and now I'm dealing with tantrums and teenagers who

194
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:41,160
Speaker 2: don't want to listen and screen challenges, and I get

195
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,840
Speaker 2: to the end of the day and I am exhausted,

196
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,559
Speaker 2: but I can't actually tell you what I've done a

197
00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:50,080
Speaker 2: couple of weeks and there's nobody telling me that what

198
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,240
Speaker 2: I've done it matters.

199
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 1: So a couple of weeks ago, we had a team

200
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,640
Speaker 1: lunch and a couple of our team members pointed out

201
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,480
Speaker 1: that we were there was something that I said or

202
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,520
Speaker 1: something that you said that was just death and we

203
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,600
Speaker 1: got it all wrong in the podcast. And obviously everyone's

204
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,600
Speaker 1: always going to have a different opinion about what we're saying,

205
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,079
Speaker 1: and most of the time, fortunately most people really love

206
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,480
Speaker 1: what we say, which is great. But I'm about to

207
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 1: step into what could potentially be a landmine with what

208
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,040
Speaker 1: I'm about to ask you. But I want to use

209
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:14,880
Speaker 1: an analogy for it.

210
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,679
Speaker 2: You've highlighted that you're only asking me this. I can

211
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,760
Speaker 2: tell because you're on the safety.

212
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,920
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so. I think I'm about to

213
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:26,600
Speaker 1: stay in a great big pile of something. Let me

214
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:29,600
Speaker 1: go there. Do you not feel a sense of satisfaction though?

215
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,480
Speaker 1: And this is where I'm about to get shot by everybody.

216
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,760
Speaker 1: But I know when you're out for the day and

217
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,240
Speaker 1: I decide that I'm going to dive in and do

218
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,319
Speaker 1: all the cleaning so that you can come home and

219
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,079
Speaker 1: not have that load on you, and I get the

220
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,240
Speaker 1: kudos for having been a great husband, and I've cleaned

221
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,640
Speaker 1: up the house and all that sort of thing, or

222
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,800
Speaker 1: I've cooked dinner. I don't know how to say this

223
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,959
Speaker 1: without sounding awful, but it sounds to me like what

224
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,280
Speaker 1: you're saying is you don't find it satisfying to have

225
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:51,960
Speaker 1: a clean house.

226
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,440
Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying at all. I absolutely love

227
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:59,600
Speaker 2: having a clean house. Yeah, but it doesn't last long, right, Literally,

228
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,320
Speaker 2: my job never ends.

229
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,560
Speaker 1: Yes, I totally get that never ends.

230
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 2: I don't ever get to the bottom of the laundry pile.

231
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,480
Speaker 2: I don't ever get to the bottom of the ironing pile,

232
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,360
Speaker 2: because even if I do get to the bottom of it,

233
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:14,760
Speaker 2: by tomorrow, it's there again. The conversations that I have

234
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,320
Speaker 2: with Mums time and time again, isn't the fact that

235
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 2: we resent doing any of those things. It's the fact

236
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:28,199
Speaker 2: that those things don't light us up. Yeah, okay, those

237
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:32,640
Speaker 2: things are a necessity for our lives to function.

238
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,880
Speaker 1: How do you find yourself again? How do you find

239
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 1: yourself if you're feeling lost, regardless of whether it's through

240
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,400
Speaker 1: employment or through being a stay at home parent, How

241
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,680
Speaker 1: do you find yourself?

242
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,960
Speaker 2: For me, it's accepting that I just might fail. I

243
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,200
Speaker 2: might not find it at first go round. I might

244
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,920
Speaker 2: not find the thing that lights me up. Because the

245
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,760
Speaker 2: reality is the things that lit me up as a

246
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,800
Speaker 2: twenty year old, yeah, they don't light me up anymore.

247
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:02,400
Speaker 2: They're no longer challenged to me, or they're no longer

248
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,359
Speaker 2: of interest to me. So I've started doing these art classes.

249
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,000
Speaker 2: Art scares me because I literally have had a script

250
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:14,040
Speaker 2: my whole life that I can't draw. But I started

251
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,600
Speaker 2: drawing and it looked like something recognizable.

252
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:23,360
Speaker 1: So I might actually ask our social team to put

253
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,240
Speaker 1: a couple of your pictures up on our social media page.

254
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,040
Speaker 1: Are you okay with that?

255
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:28,640
Speaker 2: Well, that's a bit scary.

256
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,880
Speaker 1: So Kylie has had what two or three art lessons now,

257
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,120
Speaker 1: so I'm going to listally put up your first two

258
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,760
Speaker 1: or three and you're just you're copying, not tracing, but

259
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 1: you're copying other people's artwork. We're gonna pop them up.

260
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,440
Speaker 1: We're gonna do a social post about how you've just

261
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,800
Speaker 1: begun and this idea that you can't draw like. I'm

262
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,640
Speaker 1: looking at what you've drawn, and I think I could

263
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 1: have twelve years of art classes and not be able

264
00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:52,520
Speaker 1: to draw what you've drawn. I came twenty eighth out

265
00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:56,440
Speaker 1: of twenty eight in art in grade seven and grade eight.

266
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,360
Speaker 1: I'm somebody who can't draw. What you've drawn. I think

267
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,880
Speaker 1: is mind boggling. But that's beside the point. The quality

268
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 1: of it is not the issue here. What you're saying

269
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:09,560
Speaker 1: is try stuff to find yourself, try stuff.

270
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 2: To put it into context. Two weeks later after I

271
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 2: started drawing, they then asked me to paint. And that

272
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:22,800
Speaker 2: first painting session I was literally a mess by the

273
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,680
Speaker 2: other but by the time it was done.

274
00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:25,840
Speaker 1: You mean you got paint all over your hands.

275
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:30,360
Speaker 2: Well I did do that as well, but it challenged me.

276
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,800
Speaker 2: It really like I'd gone from feeling like, Okay, I

277
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:38,160
Speaker 2: actually can draw, to now feeling like an absolute dunce

278
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,920
Speaker 2: because this doesn't come naturally to me at all, and

279
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,840
Speaker 2: I don't get it, and I don't understand, and I

280
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,640
Speaker 2: can't get the text you're right, and I can't get

281
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:49,160
Speaker 2: my line straight. And everything, and so what this is,

282
00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:53,760
Speaker 2: this exercise for me is about letting go and literally

283
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 2: challenging all of those processes to see whether or not

284
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,679
Speaker 2: this is actually where I want to be, but it

285
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,440
Speaker 2: might not be. What I actually feel is happening right

286
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,120
Speaker 2: now is I want to lead pencil instead of a

287
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,040
Speaker 2: pain brush. But I'm not going to know unless I

288
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,720
Speaker 2: give it a go. And I have spent so much

289
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 2: of my life sitting on the fence because either it's

290
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,439
Speaker 2: been about self sacrifice for the betterment of the family

291
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,480
Speaker 2: because we can't afford it, or we don't have the

292
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,320
Speaker 2: time because I've got so many other things to do,

293
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,880
Speaker 2: or to this point in my life where it's I

294
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 2: actually don't know what I want to do and that

295
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,520
Speaker 2: stops me from trying.

296
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 1: So to find who you are?

297
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,400
Speaker 2: I don't think it's about finding And that's what the

298
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:34,280
Speaker 2: emphasis of my article was, not that I'm lost. It

299
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 2: was just about remembering who I am and.

300
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,400
Speaker 1: Developing who you are, Like you actually develop who you

301
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,680
Speaker 1: are by doing things, by spending time with people, and

302
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 1: by what was.

303
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 2: The third thing, moving my body.

304
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,960
Speaker 1: By moving your body. That's how you this idea that

305
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,680
Speaker 1: you find who you are. I don't even know why

306
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,640
Speaker 1: I use that term because you don't. You develop who

307
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,200
Speaker 1: you are, and you develop who you are by the

308
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,440
Speaker 1: tasks that you take on. So if you're feeling like

309
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,320
Speaker 1: your identity is lost and you don't know who you

310
00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,200
Speaker 1: are anymore, start doing. There's power in action.

311
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,400
Speaker 2: And if you're waiting for someone else to give you

312
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,400
Speaker 2: permission to do it, you'll never get it. You actually

313
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:10,280
Speaker 2: have to take control yes and say I need to

314
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:10,600
Speaker 2: do this.

315
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,320
Speaker 1: I knew we'd get there. I knew we'd get there.

316
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 1: I knew it was worthwhile conversation, and I'm so glad

317
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 1: we had it. To find out more about what Kylie's

318
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 1: written in Kylie's Corner in the Happy Families Premium membership,

319
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,760
Speaker 1: just go to Happy Families dot com dot you, click

320
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,040
Speaker 1: on the membership tab and become a member today. When

321
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,160
Speaker 1: you sign up for twelve months, you only pay for ten.

322
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,600
Speaker 1: We give you two months free. All the details are

323
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 1: at happy families dot com dot AU. I reckon we

324
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,040
Speaker 1: might do this again next month because the stuff you

325
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,320
Speaker 1: share is just so so useful, and there's a whole

326
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,920
Speaker 1: lot more there in the membership for more information about

327
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,200
Speaker 1: making your family happier. Of course, it's all at Happy Families,

328
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 1: dot com, dot you, and tomorrow we review everything that

329
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,280
Speaker 1: happens tonight on episode three of Parental Guidance