WEBVTT - BONUS: Beth's Dead with Elizabeth Laime 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:05.400 Hey there, everybody, welcome to not Another Crime podcast. I'm 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:08.480 Georgia Love, I'm Sammy Peterson, I am a journalist, i 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:11.559 am not and today we are joined by someone who's 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:13.720 absolutely incredible. We're both a big fan of this person 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:16.480 and overjoyed. We haven't done many zooms in our time, 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.640 but we are overjoyed. 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:19.720 I'm going to. 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:20.239 Use it again. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:24.120 Overjoyed to be with the amazing Elizabeth Lame. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:24.599 Welcome. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:27.920 Thank you so much for having me. I am overjoyed 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:28.320 as well. 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:32.440 The only person who hasn't said that they're overjoyed is Georgia. 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:34.519 No, because now it will sound like I've made it up. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:36.479 But I'm going to wait for the moment where i 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.479 feel overwhelmed with joy and I'm going to drop it out. 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:42.360 Yes and well just saam, you and I will decide 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:46.080 if it's authentic or well radio. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:48.479 That's the segment. We have a buzzer where we can 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.080 buzz in it. I'll go authenticly. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:55.480 This is my first true crime podcast, which I'm so 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:59.520 excited to do and thankful that you two woke up 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.440 early to do this with Thank you very much you did. 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:04.240 We didn't need to make that such a big deal. 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.400 But indeed, because we're very tired, we've. 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.160 Gone on and on about how early we woke up, 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:10.920 which is really a rude way to start a podcast. 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:12.639 We've discovered there are very. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.080 Few people who we would do that for, and you, Elizabeth, 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:20.080 absolutely one of them. So listeners will recognize or may 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.520 recognize your name from your very own podcast, which I 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:28.880 know you have many, but one in particular has absolutely 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:32.440 blown up recently. It's one of those ones that all 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:35.600 of a sudden you hear it everywhere, everyone's talking about it. 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:39.480 You're going, what what what is this? Bethstead? Can you 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:44.320 just give us your elevated pitch about this podcast? Bethstead? 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:47.000 Yeah, thank you so much. 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:51.360 So. We my husband and I have been podcasting since 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:52.000 twenty ten. 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:54.920 The podcast is really the first podcasters. 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:59.800 Very early we were we hadn't roll early by accident. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.080 You know, we always joke about we're very good at 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.040 putting energy towards things that are not monetizable. 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:08.760 So that was what it was. 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:15.119 So we had a podcast and it developed into four 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:20.000 different podcasts by twenty sixteen. It's when the story happened, 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:27.720 and what happened was something crazy, and it involves parasocial 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:34.040 relationships and long story short, a fan of ours was 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:38.240 Monica Padman, who you know from Armchair Expert, and she 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:42.280 asked us one day why we stopped podcasting in like 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:45.280 twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen, and we told her this story 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:47.240 and she was like, we have to make a podcast. 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:51.000 So the podcast is her interviewing us about this story 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:56.400 of this wild thing that happens. And it was so 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.120 crazy that we got the lapd involved. At the time 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:04.760 we stopped all of our podcasts, we like lived with 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.960 a new level of kind of distrust for a long time, 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.640 and then in doing this podcast, Monica got involved and 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:15.600 became kind of a Nancy Drew and the twists and 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:16.600 turns continued. 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:18.800 So it's a ride. 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.160 I think it absolutely is. 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.560 When when you stopped podcasting for a while, was that 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:26.799 just you know, was it hard to kind of get 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:28.680 back in and want to tell the story? If that 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:32.080 was something that made you want to stop podcasting in general? 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:37.920 Yeah, and actually yes it was. We were like moths 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:39.920 to a flame. And so Andy and I started our 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:43.000 podcast back up again in I think twenty twenty two. 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:45.400 It's called Nobody's Listening, right, and it's just him and 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:49.200 I but we have safety kind of nets in place 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:53.920 where we're not interacting with listeners. Really, we changed the 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:58.200 format a little bit to feel better about things, but 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:01.760 we have also learned we can't not podcast. As you 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:04.760 guys know, it's a it's a it's an intense drug. 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:09.000 So but in the making of this podcast, we made 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:12.080 it over two years, and all three of us at 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:17.520 different times brought to the group, I don't know if 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:19.040 we should do this, Like, I don't know if we 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:25.200 should put it out. It feels dangerous, and so that 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.920 was definitely a big part of the conversation. I think 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.800 you'll hear it on the podcast, to us debating if 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:37.640 what we're doing is so stupid still still might be. 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:40.000 We you know, have yet to know. 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:44.240 So for people who haven't listened to it, where we 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:46.919 might be sounding really vague, we're going to do a 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:48.800 bit of a spoilers section later on for anyone who 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:50.160 wants to hear it. But that's why we're being a 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:51.520 bit vague about the story. 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:53.240 But it sounds like we haven't listened to it. 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.520 Yeah, yeah, it sounds like we're those those terrible interviewers 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.679 who go, so just tell us what it's about. 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.440 No, I appreciate. I appreciate that. 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:04.120 Actually I can give a little more detail when you 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:08.000 said elevator pitch just for anyone. The thing that happened 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.320 is that people would write into our podcast for our 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:13.560 very unqualified advice. Andy and I had no business giving 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:17.840 anyone advice, but we did. And at the time, I 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.680 was a brand new mom to two tiny humans and 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:27.080 working through some stuff, and I developed relationships with especially 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:30.560 young women who needed help. And one of those young 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:37.880 women for the title was named Beth, and that relationship 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:42.920 took on a life of its own and lessons were learned. 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:47.679 But yeah, so that's kind of the jumping off point 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:49.520 for the story with no spoilers. 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.480 And also, like you know, this was a very different 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.479 kind of podcast for you. So you said before that 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:58.000 it is your first true crime podcast as being you know, 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.680 doing a more documentary series. I don't know, I said 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.200 that so strangely, it is very early. 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:05.680 I will say it again. I iver joyed to be here, Elizabeth. 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:11.520 But the over joyed the documentary style. You know, it's 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.000 a conversation between you three. 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:13.840 But was that. 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.359 Something you know that you've always wanted to do or 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.200 was this a completely new avenue where you never kind 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.080 of thought that you would. It's like true crime, kind 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:24.640 of a vein of a true crime story really what 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:24.960 it is. 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:31.120 Yeah, No, never would have wanted to. I am I'm 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:35.400 a TV writer, so I do write shows, and I did. 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:37.440 I was on a show called A Million Lot Things 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.120 for a few years and one of the episodes that 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:45.839 I wrote in that show for like our beloved younger 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:51.839 female character played by Lizzie Green, She's Incredible, was based 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:53.719 on something that happened to me. And the way we 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:57.479 told the story was very similar to the way we 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:02.560 crafted the story for this, where the audience is learning 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:06.240 what's happening at the same time that the character is. 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:09.520 So I think I had. 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:13.680 I think I love to tell stories obviously, and you 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:17.920 know that's my my jam. So it was exciting for 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.760 me and all of us. It was really a collaboration, 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:23.040 but to figure out the best way to lay out 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.920 the story to tell it, and also the three of 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.000 us just have fun chemistry, and so I feel like, 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:32.720 I mean, it's a creepy story. It's not like all 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:37.560 fun and games or any any stretch, but we I 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:42.400 think brought kind of just our own style to it 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:46.040 and didn't want. We wanted that to definitely be in place, 0:07:46.080 --> 0:07:49.320 so a lot of thought was given to how it's 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:52.760 coming across, and it took a long time to make, 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:58.000 and it definitely flexed muscles I didn't have or didn't. 0:07:58.200 --> 0:07:59.200 Feel like I wanted to have. 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:03.920 But yeah, but now I'm like, it was really fulfilling. 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.640 And there were some choices we made, like episode eight, 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:09.000 I don't know if you remember what that one was, 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.800 the crafting of something where you know, we made the 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:17.440 choice to keep it very like it's all there, very 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:23.760 lightly edited, if at all. So those were choices that 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:27.360 we knew like some people wouldn't like and some people would, 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:29.160 but we got to make it the way we wanted it, 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:34.640 which was unlike in TV, also so fulfilling because you 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:36.120 just get to make the thing and put it out, 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:37.160 which is so cool. 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:39.880 You when you started as well, did you kind of 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:42.560 know where you were going to go with it? Was 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.480 it just you know, the germ of the idea was like, 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:47.360 we're just going to see what happens, or you know, like, 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.360 were you kind of because you sound quite terrified of 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.600 where it's going to go? Is that is that something 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.160 where you thought, oh no, if we get two years 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:58.319 into this, because I kind of wonder with ending sometimes 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.120 is that, you know, sometimes you can I've made documentaries 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.560 in the past where you know, you get to a 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.839 certain point and then you go, oh, no, there's no ending, 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.760 like you know, unless for something. Yeah, yeah, like you 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.640 know you're kind of going, what's the ending? Did you 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:15.040 kind of work at some point that it would just be, oh, 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.000 that was good, A good two years? 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.920 Yes, yeah, I mean I think that I think that 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.960 was definitely concerned. It still felt like a story that 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:29.960 was worthy of telling. And but setting out I had 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.640 like I created a rough outline and then everyone weighed 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:36.720 in and it honestly staged pretty true to it until 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.440 it took on a life of its own, and then 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:43.080 the outline kind of evolved as we went. So, but 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.280 we kind of we had a very loose framework and 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.920 then in each episode, like we kind of knew that 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.520 the general direction we were heading, and I think Monica 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:55.680 did such a great job of like leading us through 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:59.960 that each episode. But the framework was pretty adhered to 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:01.480 you and it kind of had to be because there 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:05.839 was so much information to get out and if you 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:08.720 would believe it, like that wasn't even all of the inform, 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:12.439 you know, it's we still had to be discerning and 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:16.920 but yeah, that but there was definitely like we had 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:25.120 alternative endings that were options, I guess for us to 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:28.160 kind of explore and talk about things, but the ending 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:30.760 then just happened to us. 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:32.960 Yeah, I believe one of the endings was a dance, 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:36.720 a dance between you three. 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:44.120 I would have been joyed to say that. However, I 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:46.760 don't know either. Hard to see the dance. And that's 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.760 why we brought you here today. Elizabeth on camera five six. 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:55.040 You I am wearing my Bob Fosse like all black perfect. 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:56.400 She's one of mine. 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:01.840 For parasocial relationships, that's a big theme in the podcast. 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:06.719 Has it kind of changed the way you post on Instagram? 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.240 Has it changed the way that you kind of you know, 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:12.400 live your life in a way online. 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:19.559 Absolutely, and doing this just validated that so much, this 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:25.280 thing happening. I scrubbed my kids from Instagram. I'm like 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:31.440 very careful about being like not really sharing where we 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:36.080 live exactly, and if we go somewhere, like I don't 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:39.199 post about it until we're not there, you know, things 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:44.160 like that. So and especially being a parent, I think, 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.080 you know, we had a fellow Assi on as like 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.120 an expert speaking to us in the podcast, and she 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:57.559 was so great and she just really kind of validated 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.600 my need to protect my kids. And it's hard at 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.160 podcasters because it they are our life. 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:04.160 And even on. 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:07.200 Instagram, I feel bad sometimes because I'm like, they're the 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.040 main thing in my life. But if you looked at 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:13.600 my Instagram, you would think I'm like just about cleavage. 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:20.360 And now I'm just gonna and you can follow elizabethtobiography. 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:25.240 Actually I think it's probably like coffee and I don't 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:30.719 know what, but that's not it's important actually still coffee, 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.679 but yeah, I I just am really and now with AI, 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.720 we didn't even get into that. But the stuff with 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:40.600 AI where they can like take someone's face and basically 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:46.600 have them doing anything, makes me very fearful for like adolescence, 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:53.080 you know, coming up, and so I'm very I'm not 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.520 glad this happened, but I am glad for that lesson 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.040 where I don't think I would, you know, I don't 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:03.319 think that I would have taken those precautions well. 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:07.720 Because parent social relationships are like you know, Monica Padman 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:09.480 kind of had one with you two, like you know, 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:11.800 the it is even though she'd met you. It is 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.880 weird that, like, I had a parasocial relationship with you 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.160 through listening to the podcast, and I was like, I'll 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:19.959 just reach out and ask her on the podcast, and. 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.880 You know, you kind of do something. Yeah, yeah, I know. 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.400 You're a little bit worried, Elizabeth at the end of 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.040 the culp No, but there is a there is a 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:31.720 part where I'm a fan of podcasts and being you know, 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.720 I do stand up and being in the comedy world. 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.680 I know the people that do the podcast and I 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.760 listen to mostly. But what I find weird is sometimes 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.400 I'm having a conversation knowing a fact about them that 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:45.080 they've just said that week on a podcast, and you 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:47.760 kind of do have a more intimate relationship with people 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.559 sometimes that you you think you do, you think you. 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.240 Do in the relationship you actually have. 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:54.439 Yeah, did you notice that in the in the wild 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.000 when when you tour about, Like, did you notice that 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:00.400 people like kind of had this parasocial relationship it with you. 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.400 Was that something that that kind of came up. 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.000 A bit with me. 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.480 Yeah, yeah, when you're doing the podcast. 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:06.760 You know, it's funny. 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:10.120 I feel like the only times I'm ever like recognized 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:16.800 is when I'm with Monica, Yeah, something is like oh podcasting, 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:19.440 and you know, I think she experiences that all the time. 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.440 I do have some friends who are so sweet to 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.400 listen to our show, and so sometimes something will slip 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.840 in and I'm like, oh, right, you know, and I think, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:30.640 as you two probably know it will actually you're still 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:34.200 young and have neurons firing and stuff. But I forget 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.080 what we talked about, like the second it's out of 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:40.760 my mouth. So sometimes someone will bring something up and 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.360 I'm like, when did I tell you that? You know 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:45.000 that sort of thing where? 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.440 But I too, I listen to podcasts. 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.960 One of my friends podcasts, June Dian Raphael and Jessica 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.160 Saint Clair have a great podcast called The Deep Dive. 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:59.600 And my issue as someone who has both a real 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:03.120 and our social relationship is I'm I cannot resist like 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.320 live texting them as I'm listening and they're like, oh 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.600 my god, we recorded that like three weeks ago, like 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:12.800 I don't need to relive it with you, but it is. 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.880 It is very interesting, and I do think because it's 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.960 such an intimate medium, I understand because I'm on the 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:23.160 other end of it feeling like you know the person 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:26.640 and almost like if they say something you don't agree with, 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.880 you're disappointed in or we got we were talking about 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.680 speaking of dancing, Andy and I spoke about dancing recently 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:35.720 in a way that you know, we can be a 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:39.680 little snarky sometimes and we're giving people shit, the people 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:41.840 who basically like, go out on the dance floor first 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:45.240 and just go big. And the truth is like, in 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.760 my real life, I don't really care like everyone should dance, 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:50.080 that they want to dance, but I think because people 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.000 have expectations of us, some people were really upset that 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:54.840 we were like. 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.400 Dissing dancing the big dances. 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.160 You know exactly who was upset about that was the 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:02.840 big dances. 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.320 Yeah, we saw you busting some moves on the coldest before. 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.920 Yeah, So I in that sense, I'm like, you probably 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:11.080 wouldn't be that upset. 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:12.400 I mean, in a way, it's flattering. 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:14.720 It's like you care enough or like think of us 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.280 a certain way enough to feel the need to take 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:21.480 to your keyboard, you know, which I appreciate. But also 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:26.840 it's like it's like they're your cousin or something. They're like, 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:31.160 I'm disappointed in you, but also they have the anonymity 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:34.640 of the Internet, so it's just very interesting. And then 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:38.359 of course I, by and large, our fans are incredible, 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:41.440 which is also why when all of this happened, it 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:49.640 was really not expected at all. And unlike people like 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:53.880 Monica and people have massive platforms, we have like a 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:58.400 very you know, proud of it, but not like a huge, massive, 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:04.880 popular podcas House. It's it's medium smile I'd say youth youth, 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:11.600 medium large, I don't know, doing T shirt sizing, and 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.439 so it's not like I feel like the bigger it gets, 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:20.720 the more kind of I don't know, like negativity jumps 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:23.560 into the pool, which we haven't experienced really at all. 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:25.280 We've been really lucky. 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:27.680 Well, before we kind of get into the spoiler section, 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.880 I thought it might be worth mentioning like a little 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.399 bit more about the show. So, you know, one of 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.199 the letters comes through with someone called Beth, and you 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.240 had these letters that you were giving advice on and 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:42.280 then you get some devastating news one day after helping 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.399 Beth through some problems for a long time, and you 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:48.000 find out the news that that Beth is Beth is 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:49.800 in fact dead. You hear that from. 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.199 Someone else oh no, spoilers, that's not written on the 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:56.720 artwork and spoiler you. 0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.240 Yeah, you find you find that out and and so 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:04.320 for you that that feeling of hearing that and it 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:07.560 was a you know, you got really invested in this story. 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:11.600 How how did that kind of change you know, the 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:13.879 way that you were giving advice and did it just 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:17.399 kind of completely change who you were in that moment? 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:19.920 Because I can imagine that it's such a massive thing 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.160 from you know, the way you describe your podcast as 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.760 a medium, small kind of podcast and then all of 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:29.239 a sudden there's this huge devastating thing that happened. It 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:31.880 was that something that kind of changed you right away? 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:33.800 How did you cope with with hearing that news? 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:38.560 Yeah, No, it definitely did. And it was really interesting 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:41.160 doing the podcast. I went we went back through all 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.080 of my correspondence with Beth that I hadn't looked at 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.720 since that time, which was like eight years prior. 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:52.959 Yeap. It definitely changed so much in I think. 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:56.119 So this was our podcast called Totally Married, and I 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.399 think you can probably hear it like we ended up 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:03.720 stuffing everything about a year later because well, for multiple reasons, 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:08.000 but I became way less confident giving advice to anyone, 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:12.520 particularly like if it seemed like it was this actual 0:19:12.560 --> 0:19:17.760 situation that needed real advice. Hearing it back, I was 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:19.680 pretty horrified. 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:20.600 At like some. 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:27.119 Of the advice or this is so it's I was 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:30.120 horrified in a way because we would give advice publicly 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:34.040 on the podcast, and sometimes especially Andy would be like 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:36.359 get out, get out of the relationship, or he'd just 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:39.160 be very black and white about things, and I'd be like, well, 0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:44.880 And in this case, though, I was corresponding with her personally, 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:48.679 and so there was like a gray area for me. 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:52.000 But I was giving her big advice and I didn't 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:55.720 know her, and it's weird, Like it's weird saying it now. 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:58.760 I'm looking back and going, what the fuck was I doing. 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.840 But I also think it's been interesting now that this 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:06.680 has been out, Like a lot of people have weighed 0:20:06.720 --> 0:20:10.440 in about the fact that I was so postpartum and 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:14.320 you're you don't have sleep, your hormones are everywhere, your 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:19.000 you know, your sense of identity is just like it's 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:22.399 just a crazy time. And so I almost feel like 0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:26.920 I didn't give that enough kind of credence and the 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:28.320 I don't know if that's the right word. 0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:30.719 But you know what I mean, I think it was. 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.320 It was the time, it was the situation, it was 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.160 that she had access to us in that way, and 0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:40.439 but yeah, it changed, I mean it changed everything. 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.359 At what point did you realize that there was a crime, 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:46.240 there had had been a crime? 0:20:48.359 --> 0:20:49.840 Are we talking spoilers? 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.560 Now, let's do it if you're happy to Yeah, yep. So, 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:56.440 dear listeners, turn off now if you if you don't 0:20:56.480 --> 0:20:59.520 want to know, go no, no, well off, pause, go 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:03.120 and listen into ten episodes of Bested and then'd come back. 0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:09.240 So the I we really didn't know it was a 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:14.720 crime until we spoke with the LAPD detective. But what 0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:20.879 had happened was we got an email from Beth's account 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:24.159 telling us, and it was from her brother Jason, that 0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:28.679 she had died by suicide. And I was devastated, and 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:32.480 there were very quickly Jason started becoming really aggressive and 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:35.600 almost like accusing me of having some part in it 0:21:36.080 --> 0:21:39.840 and asking me if I was her therapist, which I 0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:43.560 at the time internalized as like, oh my god, I 0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:45.480 did have a part in this, Like you know, it 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:50.359 was really awful, and I really cared about her as well. 0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:55.800 And then in the meantime, there were all these other 0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:59.960 listeners that I had also been corresponding with and deal 0:22:00.200 --> 0:22:02.960 with in our comments section. We had a massive comment section. 0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:04.399 This was like back in the day when there was 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:08.439 like live journals and people it was so it was 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:12.159 like so much activity in her comments, and so I 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:16.320 was getting to know people there also and moderating sometimes. 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:23.080 And long story short, we my friend Hammy Sager actually 0:22:23.119 --> 0:22:26.240 it was her birthday yesterday. 0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:26.720 Yes. 0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:32.080 She pointed out that this was strange behavior from a 0:22:32.119 --> 0:22:37.040 brother whose sister just died by suicide to be going 0:22:37.040 --> 0:22:42.600 through her email, and that kind of lifted a veil 0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:45.800 to me, and I thought, oh my gosh, is this 0:22:45.880 --> 0:22:49.479