WEBVTT - Odd One Out 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.480 My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:07.480 and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on direc Land. I'd 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:10.959 like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.760 land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago, 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:18.160 in particular the Cama, Eagle and Ruanderie people whose land 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:21.200 this podcast was recorded on. And we extend our respect 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:25.120 to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:28.280 storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.720 we pay homage to when we tell our stories on 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:31.440 Find and Tell. 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:39.640 Hello, I'm Jamilla Risby and this is Find and Tell, 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:44.159 the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers. Today 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:48.360 we are going to say goodbye to two of our storytellers. 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.560 When I first met Mark, Naan, Ben and Kate, they 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:56.640 were full of ideas and excitement and a lot of nerves. 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:01.800 But since then they have each made some genuinely excellent stories. 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:05.360 And all this from four people who had never made 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:09.960 an audio story before. Mark is a writer, Naan works 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:13.920 in TV news, Kate's a visual artist and Ben Well. 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:17.720 Ben told me that before this his only experience making 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.639 anything was when he posted selfies on Instagram. A huge 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:24.880 congratulations to each of them and props to their willingness 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:28.240 to listen and to learn, guided by the producers here 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:33.240 at iHeart Australia. But we have not finished yet. Mark 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:36.120 and Ben each have a story still to share, so 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:39.640 let's not wait any longer. Today's theme is odd one Out. 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:48.000 Let's hear from Mark, knowing this could be his final story. Mark, 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:49.680 welcome back to find and tell. 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:50.960 Hi, how are you? 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:54.920 It's good to have you today. Today your theme is 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:56.400 odd one Out? 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:57.680 For you? 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.000 Was this one where you had to go away and reflect? 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:02.400 Or did you know immediately the story you were going 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:02.800 to tell? 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:03.360 Oh? 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:05.600 I definitely knew. Like going into it, I was like, yeap, 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:08.120 being an odd one out is about being an outsider. 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:13.640 And you know, I've sat outside of so many so 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:17.519 outside of so many communities, thankfully outside so that I 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:21.320 can enter new ones. But you know, as someone who's Filipino, 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.800 as someone who is big bodied and body positive and 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:28.360 someone who's queer, I sit outside of so many communities, 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:30.720 but relish in the ones that I do have and 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:34.120 can create, And so I definitely wanted to approach that 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:37.360 and use that approach in this episode. I'm hoping it 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:37.800 came through. 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.240 This could be we don't know yet. This could be 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:44.120 your final story. It's the third one you've created for 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:46.760 us so far. Does How does that feel when you 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:49.239 sort of look back at the journey so far? 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:54.040 It has been so incredibly fun. Like I signed up 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:56.760 for this project to really challenge myself, to really push 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:59.160 myself outside of my comfort zone, and I did the 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:02.600 exactly that. The point where I wouldn't change a thing, 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:06.320 I wouldn't change a thing, whatever fumble, whatever mistake, whatever 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:08.640 missed up I took throughout this whole process with these 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:11.120 three episodes, I'm going to accept them as they are, 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.440 and I'm excited. I'm so excited. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:18.040 I'm excited too. Let's hear it. This is your third 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:22.040 contribution to Find and Tell, and it's around the theme 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:23.119 of odd one Out. 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:26.160 Hi. 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:28.880 I just wanted a double check. What was the largest 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.880 size you had in this shirt? I think extra large 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:35.200 was the largest. Sickon Farmers said, I double check. As 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.320 a big boy, my fashion options are mind the pun 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:39.160 pretty thin. 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:41.120 Yeah, it is the largest size. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:43.640 Okay, cool, all good? Well I was after two X, 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:46.880 but if that's not available, I'm often relegated to Low's 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:50.040 or Kmart's big boy section, which usually means I have 0:03:50.120 --> 0:04:00.880 two choices. Hawaiian shirt or vintage American motorway. Don't get 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:04.680 me wrong, loses fab but sixty trucky jest isn't my 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:12.240 personal asthetic, at least not yet. I've been chubbing my 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.920 whole life. I'm convinced my baby fat is still floating 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:19.800 around somewhere, perhaps in my left fly. When I grew 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.520 out of the larger size most stores carried, I abandoned 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:26.160 in store shopping altogether. I also got really tired of 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:28.919 only being able to buy bracelets and bags whenever I 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:32.280 went to the mall with my friends. I will acknowledge 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.640 that online shopping has opened up a whole new world 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:38.400 for me, and my options are expanding. But what about 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:40.520 when something I thought was my size doesn't fit right? 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:42.760 Or what if it looks a certain way in the 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.839 muddle but completely different on me, Or what if I 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:49.520 don't feel like contributing to tons of phost fashion waste. 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.640 I know the solution isn't always clear, but there's at 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.839 least one thing we can always rely on, and that's community. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.840 I'm gonna handle this, Mike, Let's see if it's I 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.159 think it's all set on properly. Look good here, Oh gorgeous, 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:10.239 thank you, that's nice and clear. Enter Radically Soft, founded 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.600 by Fatty duo Tests and Cribs. Radically Soft is Sydney's 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:18.880 very first plus size clothing collective. This revolutionary movement aims 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.680 to serve the many fatties who struggle to find fashionable, 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:27.200 affordable and sustainable clothing. They run thrift markets exclusively seeking 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.640 and selling secondhand clothing sized sixteen to thirty and up. 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.120 As a society, we're at a stage where we can 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:37.840 both start and continue plus size clothing cycles and lifetimes. 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:42.160 And radically Soft is here to host and help for Tests. 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:44.880 Their motive and their purpose was crystal clear. 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:49.480 I think we just saw that there wasn't anything here 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.440 like that and we wanted to be able to shop 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.760 as fat people and have fat community. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:57.680 Community is at the core of this venture, and for 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:01.400 co founder Cribs, this defiant movement was also an act 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:04.960 of self love to create a space that didn't exist 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:06.960 for her and people like her. 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:10.599 Yeah, I've been wanting just to find a place where 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:14.160 I could find clothes irl like in person, I mean, 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:15.719 it was probably a little bit selfish of me, but 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:19.800 also I was like, why don't we try and build 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.640 on the community that is here now and contribute to that. 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:26.719 I've been to one of their markets and the second 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.960 I entered, an immediate wave of relief came over me. 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:34.600 I was overwhelmed by choice, a feeling I've never experienced 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:40.479 before in a regular store. There were racks upon racks 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:44.640 of CUE clothing, all in my size, Like can you believe? 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:50.400 Like is this real? Radically Soft have made that shopping 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:54.200 experience a little bit more safe, easier, and more comfortable 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:57.680 for fat bodies. Co founder Test wants Radically Soft to 0:06:57.720 --> 0:07:01.719 be more than just a market movement and a declaration, 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:05.440 one that celebrates and empowers bodies that sit outside the 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:06.680 fashion norm. 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.960 With radically Solved, I think that all fat bodies are 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:13.560 radically solved. I think that in a world that actively 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:17.920 encourages anti fat bias and fat phobia, like just existing 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:22.440 in a fat body, like wow, we're existing, Like we're 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:25.120 really doing that. And I think to see I fat 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:28.640 people be joyful is just really like a real big 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:30.080 fuck you to the mainstream. 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:35.520 Really just the act of wanting to create this project 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:39.160 was I think an act of radicalism in itself and 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:40.840 wanting to carve out this space for us. 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:45.920 For the longest time, fat and fashionable were two very 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:50.480 mutually exclusive terms. In the early two thousands, supermodel Kate 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:55.120 Moss's mantra nothing tastes as good as skinny feels mirror 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.680 the heroin cheek fashion era of that time with a 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.720 zembic cheek. Right now in the thinness remains at the 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:05.000 center of each fashion trend, and in this raging war 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:08.280 of weight, the very fashionable test is on the front line, 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.520 challenging and changing perceptions of fatness and fashion. 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:16.240 I feel like fashion to me is a way to 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:20.640 express who I am, but it also leans most likely 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.560 always being the best stress of the room and know 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:26.600 what acknowledging you. And I don't think that people that 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:31.640 aren't fat understand the experience of like trawling through oline stores, 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:34.600 trying to go in person and not being able to 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:39.440 find your size. There are so many levels to trying 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:42.360 to find fashion as a plus sized person, and I 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:44.880 think people should put some respects on us when we 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:46.120 are very fashionable. 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:49.920 Not to toot my own horn, but I think I 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:53.120 can throw it together a pretty mean fit myself. But 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.560 when you're dealing with mainstream markets that don't acknowledge body diversity, 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.240 it just becomes harder and harder to shop. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:03.280 Don't even get me started on shopping online. For some reason, 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.320 you have to go to like the specific curve section 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.400 to find the fat clothing, because. 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:13.520 Like why, what should be an empowering and fun experience 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.319 soon becomes one of degradation and heartbreak. 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.120 I just feel like that's also isolating, Like I just 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.320 don't understand why they all can't be together. 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:21.800 Why do? 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:25.040 I also kind of feels like it's hidden, and I'm like, 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:26.520 this is what we're talking about. 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.640 For Tess, who grew up in the States, the traumatic 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:34.720 fat shopping experience is one they still carry even today. 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:37.800 You go to the department store, you go to jas Pennies, 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.120 and there's always like when you're a kid, you go 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:41.960 into like the kids section, but because I was a 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.040 fat kid, I had to go into the junior section 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.600 even when I was like ten years old, and my 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:49.280 mom would take me and then I would be looking 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:50.640 at the stuf and be like, hey, all of this, 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:54.000 I hate all of it. It's like business attire for 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:57.680 fourteen year olds and I'm like ten, and my mom 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.000 would like pick things for me, give them to me, 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:01.800 and that I'd be like, they don't fit, and then 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:03.880 she'd be like, oh, okay, I'm gonna go get the 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.280 other size. And I think that those experiences as a kid, 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:09.680 even when I'm at the markets now, I am like, 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:12.400 I can't shop here. We made this for fat people 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.200 to shop, and I am like looking around and I'm like, 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:18.480 I still can't get anything because of that lifelong trauma 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:20.960 of having to go places of being like, is my 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:23.120 size here? Even though I'm in a space that I 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:26.000 know my size is gonna be, I'm like, I can't shop. 0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:28.640 And I think that that is just so telling of 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:32.040 the fat experience, especially when you've like grown up fat. Yeah, 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:33.239 it's very isolating. 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:36.360 It's a bit of an odd thing to say, but 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:38.839 there's some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:42.240 feeling left out. There's still such a long way to go, 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:45.679 and as fatties, we never feel one hundred percent comfortable 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:50.440 in store are on site. However, in the meantime, here 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:52.960 are three ways you can be radically soft with yourself. 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:57.720 Number one, redefining what the word fat means and reworking 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.880 the concept of fatness in your head makes a massive 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:04.400 difference to how you approach your style and your fashion. 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:09.280 I feel like my fatness is in a place now 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:12.680 where I am so joyful and being fat. I know 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.840 that there's a lot of things that society puts on 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.400 us that is negative about being fat, but now in 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.080 my life, I am like, I love floating, I love 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.520 being in the water. I love being able to give 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:27.360 warm hugs to my friends, and like embracing my friends 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.319 in that joyful way, Like I just see fatness as 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:34.079 being so beautiful and so sacred. 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:40.480 Number two, surround yourself with fat babes, whether that be 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:44.160 in real life or online. Fill your feeds with people 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:47.400 with a diverse range of body types and shapes. Where 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:51.560 no shortage of fat fashionistas on TikTok and Instagram. I 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:53.840 know it's easy to get lost in the standards set 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:57.280 by outdated esthetic decision makers, so you must turn to 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:58.920 community to break free of them. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:00.960 I don't want to say I'm like at full like 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:05.000 fat joy acceptance, but just being able to like be 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.600 soft and kind with myself as I go through all 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.840 these ebbs and flows of the way that I feel 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:12.280 about my body. But I know that when I'm around 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:16.600 beautiful fat people, I feel it. I feel so much 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:18.319 joy and love in my heart that I'm like, why 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.520 would I ever think this way? You know, if you 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:24.000 want to be surrounded by people who just love being 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:28.400 themselves and loving their body and acknowledge your fatness and 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:29.600 pretend like it doesn't exist. 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:34.360 When you surround yourself with community and have open conversations 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.560 with others who have experienced the darkness that comes with 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.240 living in a fat phobic world, that shared struggle soon 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:45.200 becomes a silver lining, an uplifting joy that is sacred, 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.600 a little silly, but overall very wholesome. 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:50.559 That body is like that, I want to show my 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:52.720 belly button, but I want to show in a way 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:56.120 that's sexy. I don't want to like have like my 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:57.040 whole belly. 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:59.480 Out, you know, Like I want to show my belly 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:02.760 button my crack, and you. 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:03.760 Can't show one without the other. 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:07.720 Unfortunately, it's a real Sophie's choice. 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:12.480 Number three and this one's just from me. Don't get 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:15.120 caught up in the numbers for some reason. A two 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:17.480 excel in one brand is a four excel in another. 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.800 What is the sixteen to some is a ten to others. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:25.160 So you must go with your gun. Literally, go with 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:28.040 your gun. There's nothing wrong with going up a digit, 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:36.480 especially when it concerns your comfort. Before I let you go, 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:40.000 I want to do a little exercise. No, not that time, 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:45.040 cheeky together. I want us to make an act of 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:48.280 reclamation of a word that, in twenty twenty four is 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:55.080 still so emotionally charged. Fat is just fat. That isn't ugly, 0:13:55.480 --> 0:14:00.400 that isn't repulsive, that isn't evil, that isn't bad. Is 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:06.520 just fat. Stay it with me. Three to one fat? Wow, 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.480 you killed that one more time. I'm a three to 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:14.680 one fat. Oh how does that feel like a weight? 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.680 It's been lifted off your shoulder and it's huh beautiful. 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:20.520 Thank you so much for doing that with me. Trust 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.000 me when I say there is nothing to be afraid of. 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.520 So from one chunky babe to another, I'm wishing you 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.040 all the best with your next shop. I know this 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:32.480 might feel like an isolating experience, but you're not alone. 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:47.280 I got your babe, Ditto, Mark. 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:51.440 I want to know when you were creating this episode, 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.840 who the audience was in your. 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:59.520 Mind's eye, Other fat babes. Yeah, definitely other fat babes. 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.680 I think I think every fat person would relate to this, 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:04.720 or at least most fat people would relate to this, 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.000 Just this experience of like going to a store not 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.360 finding something in their size, and like not being able 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.480 to like accurately put together a fit that you had 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.960 in your mind just because a store doesn't have this 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:20.320 thing in your size and in stock. Also, going into this, 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:24.520 you know, I wanted to put fat joy in a 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:28.320 positive light. I think, you know, fat people in general, 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:32.680 as depicted in mainstream media is so one sided and 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:36.360 so like they're the sidekick, they're the supporting character, And 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.200 I wanted to put fat people at the front in 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:41.720 this episode to really just celebrate who we are, our 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:45.760 physical selves and our inward selves as well. But I 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.800 think a larger message mind the pun, a larger message 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:52.600 being that, like you know, buddies are beautiful, we will 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:57.200 experience different body insecurities, and you know, we're getting into 0:15:57.240 --> 0:16:01.040 a world and into a stage where we can directly 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:04.240 combat it and fight it together. So I'm happy. I'm 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.080 so happy with this episode. 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:10.760 Mark, what are you most proud of? Is there one 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:13.480 of the stories that you've told, one of the moments 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:16.040 that you had in an interview. What do you look 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:18.200 back on and think, Yeah, that I did that. 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:24.200 I think with this last episode in particular, I strongly 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:28.400 believe that self love is a journey and not a destination. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:32.680 I myself am on a tumultuous self love journey. There 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:34.400 are days where I like, I love my body, I 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.880 love my fatness, I love what it provides for other people. 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:39.480 And then other days where I'm just so down in 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:43.880 the dumps and just so like incredibly, just like deep 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:45.520 in this, like, oh my goodness, I hate myself. 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:45.640 It. 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.520 So what I loved and what I was most proud 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.040 of was just being able to connect one on one 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:58.360 with chosen family, with community members who knew exactly how 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:02.480 I felt, and I was able to have sort of 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.760 critical dialogue with them. It wasn't just like this silly 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:06.320 I feel this way. I feel this way. We had 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:12.160 some deep, deep thoughts, which is not readily accessible. It's 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.040 not something that we can find every day, finding people 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:18.080 who are willing to be vulnerable with you. And so 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:21.000 I'm truly just not proud of I'm proud of myself. 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:22.680 I'm so proud of myself. But I'm also so proud 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:26.200 of the people that came onto these episodes and bore 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:28.760 their soul out for everyone in the public to see. 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.280 It is such a hard thing, so I'm so proud 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:32.920 of them. 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.520 Mark, you should be proud of yourself. You have shared 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:39.879 some really fantastic stories with us. You've got such warmth 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:43.239 and character and energy. I have loved getting to know 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:46.640 you and listening to your stories. This could be your 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.320 final story for the show. We're going to find out 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:52.800 just a little bit later. But congratulations on everything you've 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:55.439 done so far. I'm looking forward to seeing whatever it 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:56.480 is you do next. Well. 0:17:56.600 --> 0:18:00.000 Thank you. 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:07.840 This is Fine and Tell and this week's theme is 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:11.280 odd one Out. We are so close to hearing who 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:14.199 our find and Tel finalists are going to be. But 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:22.440 before that, Ben has one more story to share. Ben, 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.360 welcome back. You must be feeling pretty good about yourself 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:26.960 winning your last two episodes. 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:29.600 Yes, thanks again for having me. I'm happy to be here. 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:32.280 And yeah, two in the bag and one more to go. 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:33.360 Let's get it done. 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:37.320 Take me back to the beginning when you were just 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.400 sitting out on the process. Was there a point where 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:43.640 the work felt impossible, like you weren't going to get 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:45.840 it all done because it is like it is a 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:47.520 big workload that we've set you all. 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:51.600 Yeah, I think I think I went into it first off, 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:55.919 in the back of my mind, I thought five to 0:18:55.960 --> 0:19:02.639 ten minutes an episode, three episodes, easy, right? Absolutely not? No, 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:05.200 it was so much different work kind of going back 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:10.160 and forth. And you know, unfortunately, as we'll hear, sometimes 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:12.760 things don't always go to plants. So when you kind 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:15.399 of hit those speed bumps throughout, I guess chasing a 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:18.240 certain episode, can I e. A take the l or 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:19.240 you can roll with the punches? 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.280 Well, I want to hear about some of these speed bumps. 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:23.640 So let's get to the story. This is your third 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:26.440 contribution to find and tell odd one out. 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:30.399 Actually, in the very beginning, I thought it was going 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:33.520 to be pretty easy. I thought, yeah, three short stories, 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:40.560 how hard can it be? But everyone's looking at me 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:45.280 really fucking weir because I've got a microphone on my face. 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:51.600 Here we go, Hello, how you doing? 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:53.960 Do you mind if I pick a ear for a 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:57.280 second for a podcast? What I wasn't ready for was 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:00.080 just how many times I was going to get told no, no. 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:03.800 No, no, no, no no no, yeah. 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:04.159 Absolutely not. 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:08.440 Cut to the middle of week two, and I've only 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:11.200 got one story in the bag, one interview that didn't 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:14.440 pan out, and another one that's canceled on me. I 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:15.720 don't think I'm going to be able to get this 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.280 done in time, so I start to go into a 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.280 little bit of panic mode. I go through my phone 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:26.080 contacts alphabetically. I'm posting Instagram stories and Facebook statuses in 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.200 the hopes of a long lost uncle or a childhood 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:30.399 friend would have a juicy topic for me to follow 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:35.320 up on, and still nothing. I start to get up 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:38.280 in my own head about it. I'm critiquing my ideas 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.280 before anyone else has even heard them. Now that sounds shit. 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:43.119 No one's going to want to listen to that. I 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:44.320 don't think I'm going to be able. 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:44.399 To do this. 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.200 I nearly quit a few times during this, just because, 0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:54.439 you know, I just doubt dubated myself. But then, like 0:20:54.520 --> 0:21:00.720 a sign from the heavens, a text from a friend 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.760 I hadn't heard from it in a while. Have you 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:12.000 heard of the Weed Church of Newcastle? I immediately hop online 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:18.719 and search we Church of Newcastle and there it is 0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:25.760 the first search result, the Church of Umbuntu. At first glance, 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:29.400 it looks like an ordinary church website, but with one 0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:33.760 curious difference. At the top of the homepage, the church 0:21:33.800 --> 0:21:38.479 logo a dove with its wings in full flight holding 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:40.000 a cannabis leaf in its mouth. 0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:52.480 Too, wellness, clinic, can you hold the line please? 0:21:52.640 --> 0:21:58.159 Yet not a problem. Just to clarify, the voice you're 0:21:58.160 --> 0:22:01.280 hearing at the moment isn't the reception. It's a reenactment 0:22:01.280 --> 0:22:02.040 with a voice actor. 0:22:03.640 --> 0:22:06.720 Good afternoon, Ubuntu, Wellness, This is Carol. How can I 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:07.120 help you? 0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:08.040 Hi? 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:09.600 Carol? My name is Ben. 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:13.640 I was wondering if Karen Burge was available, Uh, not. 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:17.400 Right at this moment? Can I leave a message for there? Yeah? 0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:20.320 Can you just let her know that Ben called guard now. 0:22:20.320 --> 0:22:23.679 If I'm being honest, I didn't expect either response, but 0:22:23.760 --> 0:22:26.560 to my surprise, Hi, Ben, this is Karen. 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.439 From the Church of Mbantu. I had a message to 0:22:28.480 --> 0:22:29.040 contact you. 0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:30.520 Yes, Hi Karen, how are you? 0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:33.479