1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:11,399 Speaker 1: Woods. Yes, so the world's oldest known wombat. 2 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:12,479 Speaker 2: How old is okay? 3 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 3: I dare say, because one bats move incredibly slowly, I'm 4 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 3: going to say this bad boy is pretty goddamn old. 5 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 2: I'm going to say he's one hundred and sixty eight. 6 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,480 Speaker 2: You're joking, Yes, I was joking. I think he's forty. 7 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: Three closer, much closer he's I think that I was 8 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: joking the first one forty three letn't be close to 9 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,639 Speaker 1: like the longest living thing on the earth. I thought 10 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: one bats live for ages that belongest to the famous 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: of the tortoises. 12 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, those galapa gods too well. 13 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: I found out the other day that cockatoo's like a 14 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: full grown adult cockato is about one hundred years old. 15 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 2: Is that right? 16 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: Extraordinary? Right? The big of the bird, the longer it lives. No, 17 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: the oldest one bat in the world. Mister Wine is 18 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: his name. He's thirty five. Oh, he's turning thirty five. 19 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: He's thirty four currently. He's my agent. 20 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 2: Ye, there you go anyway, he's still going all right 21 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 2: at thirty five. 22 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,559 Speaker 1: He's in Japan. 23 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 2: He traveled to Japan, that's where he lives. How did 24 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 2: he get there? 25 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: He's at satsuki Ama Zoo is Japan on a holiday. 26 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: They traded him for a monkey exchange like a Pokemon card, 27 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: but had he was in Tazzy Yeah. Who traded argue 28 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 1: with the queenos or minerals in the soil and animals 29 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: on the ground, but like he was just in Tazzy Yeah. 30 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: And then look bit a couple of backdoor deals. They 31 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 1: traded a couple of first round picks and then they 32 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: got the one bat. 33 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, Japan, it is what a tasmani again? 34 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: A couple of monkeys orcs macacs is they're called what. 35 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,199 Speaker 2: Are they using mister wine for over in Japan? 36 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: Mister wine. He's killing it. He just kills He's thirty 37 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: five year old one bat in Japan. Done too, I 38 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: mean like he's just done too. So he loved it. 39 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm imagine getting a whole bunch of delicious sashimi being 40 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: adored on have more photos taking him of any one bait. 41 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: He also hold that rocket record as well. Imagine the 42 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: only one bat in the Northern Hemisphere. 43 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 2: Probably very cool. 44 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 3: He's killing anyone want to come back, he won't want 45 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 3: to come back. 46 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: I think he's coming back. Man. He's the oldest one 47 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: bat in the world was thirty five. They're not going 48 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 1: to put a thirty five yearld mat on a plane. 49 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 3: They did, They just did when Tasmanians put him on 50 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 3: a plane. 51 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,399 Speaker 1: When no he got traded ages ago. 52 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're talking about him. 53 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: He was turning thirty five. There's a lot going up 54 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: to be fair, to be fair, and I'm talking about 55 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: first round picks and all sorts of things. But basically, yeah, 56 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do because I didn't know that 57 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: you could trade animals like I knew that animals moved 58 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: from zoo to zoo often for conservational reasons. There are 59 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: lots of orangu and tangs at the Perth Zoo who 60 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: were there to basically breeding programs. 61 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 3: Things like that Malcolm Douglas farm only takes the dangerous 62 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 3: crocodiles when all the other zoos say no, Malcolm Douglas 63 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 3: tags him. 64 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: And that's what's what makes Malcolm Douglas the best. Is 65 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: that what you're going for anyway? So what so what 66 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: I want to do, as John Westad is I want 67 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: to call the relevant authority that looks after these macacus 68 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: slash monkeys in Tasmania and I want to see if 69 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: we can get one nice biro trade trade. Yes, yes, 70 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: we could bring a monkey. 71 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 2: The mcow monkeys could become a show, But I want 72 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 2: to marry MCA. Yeah, well that could become like a 73 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 2: like a like a show like mascot for us. 74 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, but I realized that in return, I'm gonna 75 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: have to give them something, So think about that. 76 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 2: Don't trade me. I'm not I'm not a trade. 77 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: I am not contracted. I want to call Tasmania now, 78 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: the relevant authority in Tasmania. When I say call him now, 79 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: I mean we've already made this fine call. 80 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 2: Yes, okay. 81 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 4: Now. 82 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: The reason we're being quite obscure about which relevant authority 83 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: we called to get their hands on these monkeys via 84 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: a zoo trade is because they didn't give us permission 85 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: to play the phone call. 86 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 3: Yeh, which which which is totally fine, Which is absolutely fine. 87 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: That's that's the way. That's the way it works. 88 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: That is the way it works. But we thought the 89 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: phone call was still really funny, so. 90 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 3: Interesting as well, just interesting to hear how they respond 91 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 3: to you potentially trading. 92 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: My dog for a monkey. Yeah, so what we've done 93 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: to try and keep the audio because we want you 94 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: guys to still enjoy this. This this, this rank that 95 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,119 Speaker 1: we've been talking about for the last five minutes is wood. 96 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: He stepped in as the person who answered the phone 97 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 1: at the relevant authority in Tasmania who had oversight over 98 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: the monkeys. Yes, I think I've been I feel like 99 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: a police officer. Let's try to try now hide evidence. 100 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 3: Let's call them, let's call them Phoebe. Who the person 101 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 3: was called Phoebe? And I'm winking it's not their nice woods. 102 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: All right, So you're gonna hear me calling a relevant 103 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: authority asking to trade my dog for a monkey? And 104 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: what are he is going to be the person that 105 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: I'm speaking to. 106 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're recreating it right, This is exactly This is 107 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 3: exactly what. 108 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: It's a live action role. It's a la live action 109 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: role replay recreation. Everyone understand what we're talking about. 110 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 4: Now. 111 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: I feel like there's la a lot of hoops to this, 112 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 1: but I think everyone gets it. All right. 113 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 5: Hello, you're speaking I can help you today. O. 114 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: Hi, there you going good? 115 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 5: Thanks? 116 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: How are you super well? My name is Will. I'm 117 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: just calling because there is there was a story today 118 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: about the wombat who's from Tasmania called mister wine and 119 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,799 Speaker 1: he left. He's he's in Japan now because he was traded, 120 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: believe it or not for those beautiful mecacs. 121 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 5: No, no, I did not know that. Hmmm. 122 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: Anyway got me thinking, just in a laissez fair economic 123 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: system that we live in, how would you feel about 124 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: doing another trade? 125 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 5: Okay? What what? What are you implying? What would you 126 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 5: what would you like me to do? 127 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: I amed an ard about this. I had a very 128 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: good think about it last night. I had a chat 129 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,799 Speaker 1: with my partner and it's not it hasn't been easy. 130 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,239 Speaker 1: But I am willing to give you my dog, Stevie. 131 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: She's a Hungarian wistla dog for a monkey. Bang. There 132 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: it is. That's my first offer. Okay, I'll put that 133 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 1: down all right. Well, well you're thinking about it to 134 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: talk to your people, Well look I won't I want 135 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: I'm not going to give this to you, but a 136 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: little bit of track, a little bit of bait, little 137 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,600 Speaker 1: just just to have a think about it. You can 138 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: discuss this amongst yourselves. I'm willing to throw in my daughter, 139 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 1: but you know it might need to be like it'd 140 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: have to be a good looking monkey like I get 141 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: my pick. 142 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,839 Speaker 5: Right, so is there anything I can actually help you 143 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 5: with today? 144 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: So it seems like you're not interested. Is a pretty 145 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: good offer. Look, my daughter has a guinea pig. I 146 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: didn't want to get rid of that, but I'm able 147 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: to throw that in as well. With them in a cage. 148 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 1: I'd rather watch that than a bunch of monkeys. 149 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 5: I tell you what, Well, you said, make a perfect 150 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 5: monkey to watching a cage. Funny, you watch yourself. 151 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: I'm calling from a radio station. I'm calling from a 152 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: show called Will and Woody. 153 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 5: Never heard of you? Was the intention there to be funny? 154 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: Was it? I was just wondering if we could use 155 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: the call on the show. 156 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 5: No, no, you can't use the call. Look, I tell 157 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 5: you what I can do. Why don't I give you 158 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 5: an email address and you can email my superiors? 159 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 2: Okay? 160 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: For what do you use the phone call? 161 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 5: No? Absolutely not, absolutely not. 162 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: There's a million people listen to it every time. 163 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 5: Well I'm not one of them, so that doesn't mean 164 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 5: anything to me. 165 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: Would you be okay with this phone? Okay? If you're superior? 166 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 2: Said it was? Okay? 167 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I. 168 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 5: Still won't give you permission, okay, okay, Well. 169 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: That's the first nag we can't go Hurtle two unless 170 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: we've got hurt or one. What about if we got 171 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: the what about if we got the consent from the 172 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: professional side of things, from the manager or whatever, and 173 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 1: they were like, that's okay. If we came back to you, 174 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 1: do you think there's a chance that you'd be like, 175 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: that's okay. 176 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 5: I think you've got more chance of finding the now 177 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 5: extinct Tasmanian tiger, seducing said tiger, marrying that tiger and 178 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 5: then raising a beautiful family with that tiger in the 179 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 5: beautiful city of Thanks so much for your call, Chata, Yes, 180 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 5: I said Chata. Then I meant to say Tatar, but 181 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 5: I've said Chata. 182 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: Sorry for wasting your time. 183 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 3: Did you mind if we just put you onto a 184 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 3: radio producer here, just so you could pass on the 185 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 3: details to him and otherwise macas in the park unbelievable. 186 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 3: I am actually very keen to coming expect so hopefully 187 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 3: I'll get to set it. 188 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 5: Ram it up. 189 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 2: Your are perfect. 190 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: Now we have to stress. We must stress that he 191 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: whilst he was imitating the the person in the position 192 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 1: of authority, he has taken some liberties with potentially how 193 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: bitchy that person was at the end, I was reading 194 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,719 Speaker 1: the script. I was reading our frustrations about the fact 195 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: we couldn't play the actual phone call. I'd love to 196 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: hear from you guys thirty one to see five. What's 197 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 1: the most demoralizing thing that you've done for a dependent? Now, 198 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: I'm being very particular with that word, because I recognize 199 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: a dependent is basically someone that needs your help. So 200 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: it's probably a child if you're a nurse and you 201 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: work with like an aid, it with someone who's who's 202 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: aged or incapacitated in some way, or in my circumstance, 203 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: it was a dog. Sure, it was my dependent. And 204 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 1: they're beautiful things like that dog's. I mean that you 205 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: like looking after them in a lot of ways. Anyway, 206 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: I was out walking my Hungarian whistler Stevie during the week, 207 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: love this time with her route, walking just to walk 208 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: around the block, just quick walk, need a bit of 209 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: time out, beautiful, lovely. She pulls over the nature strip 210 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,599 Speaker 1: and she does it. Pooh, sure, and that's you know, 211 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: it just comes to the territory. 212 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 2: Doesn't grasp it? She she concreted it. 213 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: No nature strip. I said, she's not savage, mate, Sorry, 214 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: said nature trip. 215 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 2: Some of them do go on the concrete, but no, I. 216 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 1: Said nature too. Now she's on the grass. She's in 217 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: the grass and gets it done. I reach for the 218 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: Trusty plastic bag, of which I've snaffled about forty five 219 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: from the council disposory unit. We all do it. Let's 220 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,200 Speaker 1: not pretend that we don't. You don't buy them anymore. 221 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: I have a watch up when I grab them. Sam, look, 222 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: I might look out for me, look out for me. 223 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 1: Just get it on a roll. But anyway, we've got 224 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: hundreds of them, right, So I was like, oh, it's 225 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: my Trusty bag. I didn't have a bag. Now. One 226 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: of my pet peeves in life is people that don't 227 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: pick up their dog poop Like that just kills me. 228 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: It's your dog. If you want to take it outside, 229 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 1: just pick it up, right, surely do the fake bend 230 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 1: though now I'm not into it. Well, I find a way, 231 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: And normally I would just wait for someone to come 232 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: up to me in the park, or i'd actually go 233 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: over to someone and go, can I have a spare bag? 234 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: And people are always really happy to help you out 235 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: with that. Sure, we've got that thing in a park. 236 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: So so anyway, but it's the middle of It's like, 237 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 1: you know, it's dark, people are at home having dinner 238 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm standing looking around that there are no 239 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,320 Speaker 1: bags here, So I'm just gonna have to like, what 240 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: am I going to do anyway, I'm steering at it. 241 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: I've got to get rid of it. I'm looking at 242 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: this like these bushes that are there as well, and 243 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 1: I'm I've got to get to figure out a way 244 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,680 Speaker 1: to get the pood of the bush. Oh yeah, right, 245 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 1: that's the situation. Nothing immediate is coming to mind. You know, 246 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,839 Speaker 1: I considered taking off my shirt, using a sock, using 247 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: my shoes. I feel strongly about people picking up their 248 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 1: dog poop. 249 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,679 Speaker 2: You're a very good person. 250 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: I've just there's nothing worse, particularly out of the front 251 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: of your own house, than stepping in another dog's pooh. 252 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: You just shouldn't have to deal with that. So I'm like, 253 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 1: I'm going to get rid of this anyway. Nothing's coming 254 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,719 Speaker 1: to me. And then I realized, because I have I 255 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: had this song on my headphones on repeat all of 256 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: last week, as everybody in this team knows, but the 257 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,319 Speaker 1: Great Noah Kahn gave me inspiration. 258 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 3: That's the season of the sticks. 259 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: The season of the sticks woods. 260 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 3: You can fashion some like some chopsticks exactly. 261 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 2: The way, exactly exactly as you need to, don't you. 262 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,559 Speaker 1: Absolutely the pincer effect is what you're after. 263 00:11:59,240 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 6: You know. 264 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: I didn't actually necessarily chopstick it. I didn't feel like 265 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 1: I was in a sufficient Japanese setting to feel the 266 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 1: need to do it. If I was in Japan, I 267 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: might have chop sticked it. But given that I was 268 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: out the back of Northfolt, I was like, you know what, 269 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to get two sticks. I'm going to pincer them. 270 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, just just just can't go too hard, like you 271 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 3: if you If you pinc it too hard, you go through. 272 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 2: So yeah, it be a delicate pinch, and. 273 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 1: It really depends on the viscosity of the ship. Well, 274 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: you know. And as soon as I got over there, 275 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 1: it was a bit flowery, if I'm being honest. Yeah, no, 276 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't need to go there. But it's 277 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: important for the story. It's important details portant for the story. 278 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: So I go over the pincer, Yeah, go to the 279 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,959 Speaker 1: first one. Split it straight in half, of course, so 280 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: I've gone from three pieces to fight four pieces. All 281 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: of a sudden, beginner's era at the same heaven of 282 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: the next one. 283 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,679 Speaker 3: Oh god, you got eight pieces. Now it's evolving. 284 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: I get in there and then I start like skewing 285 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: it like pinchos if anyone's done that in Spain. I 286 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: get a leaf out, I'm like, you know, pinch it 287 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: onto this on the you know, all of a sudden, 288 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: I've got, you know, twenty to twenty five pieces of 289 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: pretty flowery pooh. 290 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 2: Just hockey stick them. I'm just just. 291 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: For the wagon. Actually, anyway, I did actually manage to 292 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 1: clear them to a pretty good result. And as I 293 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: did so, I turned around and there was someone who 294 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,439 Speaker 1: had taken their bins out twenty meters behind me, and 295 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: it just was just obviously standing there and enjoying the 296 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: whole thing. Screw you. They couldn't have helped me. They 297 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 1: just watched. And I probably have done the same thing. 298 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,079 Speaker 1: But I would love to hear from some of the 299 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: people right now, because you do end up doing just 300 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: the most demoralizing things for dependents, because you're like, I'm 301 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 1: the only it's in the title. They are a dependent. 302 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: You are in charge of looking after them. If no 303 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: one picks up this pooh, if nobody does whatever awful 304 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: thing you have to do for them, they can't do 305 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: it themselves. I'm sure there are lots of nurses that 306 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 1: are listening to this thinking exactly the same thing. We're like, well, 307 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: you know what, this is my job. I'm here to 308 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: look after you. 309 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 2: That's against the wall. Good friend of mine, Sugar jumped 310 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 2: a fence, broke both of his arms. He lived only 311 00:13:58,960 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 2: with his mother. 312 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: Give us a call. Most demoralizing thing you've had to 313 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: do for a dependent. 314 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 2: Let's got to Chrissie, Chris, what happened with you? You 315 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 2: were helping out a dependent. 316 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 6: Hey, hey, afternoon boys. Yeah, so I had a brought 317 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 6: a collie back in the day. Bit of a nut job. 318 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 6: He used to do all sorts of weird things. But 319 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 6: amongst those weird things, he ate one of those you know, 320 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 6: those rope toys. Oh yeah, with a long piece of 321 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 6: the string. 322 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 7: So he ate it. 323 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 6: It went down fine. Apparently I wasn't there when it happened, 324 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 6: But when it came out on the other side, you know, 325 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 6: he went outside to do his business, started started squeezing 326 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 6: one out and obviously he felt some pressure on the Yeah, 327 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 6: he felt some pressure on the on the backside. And 328 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 6: turned around to look at what it was. Essentially, it 329 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 6: was a whole lot of poop sort of extruded onto 330 00:14:56,280 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 6: the rope that was still half inside of him. So 331 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 6: now the pressure on the swinging poop was freaking him out. 332 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: A second tale, Yeah, there we go. 333 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 6: It's still stuck on him. So he's freaked out. He's 334 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 6: running around the yard like a nut job, and I 335 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 6: have to run after him to get it eventually, pin 336 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 6: him down and stop pulling, And eventually it did come 337 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 6: out with a bit of a. 338 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 7: You know. 339 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 2: It's also crazy. 340 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly right, Chris. You can have a spinal as pillow. 341 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: That is a great story. Aiden's called Aiden. 342 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 8: How I Am good Things? How are you right? 343 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: What's the most demoralizing thing that you've had to do 344 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: for a dependent? You've also got a dog related story. 345 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 8: Yes, I do. 346 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: So. 347 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 8: I was in a new relationship and I had a 348 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 8: garbage been next to my bed, my dog ate my 349 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 8: used condom, and we were out walking. We were out 350 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 8: walking at a park and there was a big group 351 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 8: of people walking by. He got stuck and I had 352 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 8: to pull it out because he was having he was 353 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 8: having a meltdown. Exdrew the attention. Everyone's watching pulling out 354 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 8: this contry. 355 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: You want to pull the condom out of your dog's ass. 356 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 2: Female dogs, just. 357 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: No one is thinking that they ate it. 358 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 9: In that. 359 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: Said, you're not. You're not giving them the benefit of 360 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: the doubt there. Sometimes when you want to get around people, 361 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 1: you want to make you know, you want to think 362 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 1: that they're good people. But when that's happening, you know, 363 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm going to police at that stage, I 364 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: don't know about just for you. 365 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 2: Well, no trust in. 366 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: Glenn's called. I'm getting asked to be moved on. But 367 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: that's an interesting ethical dilemma. What you were doing to 368 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: ask yourself Australian Glen is called Glenn, would you call 369 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: the cops if you saw that? What are you Thinking's. 370 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 7: Pretty low brow, isn't it? 371 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 2: Yeah? 372 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 1: Nice? 373 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 2: Moving him on, Glenn. 374 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,719 Speaker 1: All right, Glenn, talk to me. This is we are 375 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,159 Speaker 1: talking about tomoralizing things you've had to do for a 376 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: dependent and you're talking about your son. 377 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah, I was at home mate. My missus has 378 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 7: picked up the little bloke and rang me. He's come 379 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 7: off the slide across the road. Crafty front too. They're 380 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,240 Speaker 7: at the dentist and they said Listen, you've got an 381 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,360 Speaker 7: hour to find it. Bring it to the dentist. We'll 382 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 7: put it on. Otherwise you're up for thousands of dogs. 383 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 7: I'm down at the school loitering around the playground for 384 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,960 Speaker 7: an hour looking for this tooth while I reckon about 385 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 7: twenty months were ready to call the cops, thinking that 386 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 7: I was, you know, a bit of a pest. 387 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: Oh wow, you're like, there wasn't a dog with the 388 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: condo matters, But otherwise they definitely would have got their clubs. 389 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 2: Little apology from me. I was arrogant yesterday. 390 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 1: I was. 391 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: I was arrogant, and I was brash. 392 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: I was. 393 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 3: I was up here on radio, you know, teasing people 394 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 3: who have made bad speech before, you know, and I 395 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 3: was a little bit high and mighty because I kind 396 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 3: of think I'm a pretty good public speaker, and I 397 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 3: was laughing. 398 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,119 Speaker 2: At people's expense. Listen to this, your mind. 399 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 3: Your mum was giving a speech. What was the environment, 400 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 3: what was the occasion? 401 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 9: I was in grade seven. It was at our first 402 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 9: ever orientation assembly, and she's famously known for the worst 403 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,679 Speaker 9: speeches ever. Than she was trying to move on, she said, Oh, 404 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 9: I'm just I'm just so excited, so so excited. 405 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 5: It's like Christmas. 406 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,159 Speaker 9: Say, you guys are all just Christmas presents that I 407 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,360 Speaker 9: want to unwrap and play with. 408 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 2: Wow, it was a shaka. 409 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 3: But look, coincidentally, I've been at home going through this 410 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 3: massive box that my mum recently gave me. She's she's 411 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 3: just kept everything that I've ever done in my life 412 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 3: in this box, and finally she gave it to me. 413 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:46,640 Speaker 2: And within that box. 414 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 3: You've been like academically academia brochures, brochures. 415 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: Did you do a brochure? Like? 416 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,120 Speaker 2: No, I went to like a concert and she kept 417 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 2: the brochure for it. 418 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: You went to a concert with a brochure watching. 419 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 2: It was it was in orchestra that I went with 420 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 2: my grandpa or something. She kept that. 421 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 10: She's nice and it has a nice you know, but 422 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:10,359 Speaker 10: she kept everything that's nice, including yeah, the original notes 423 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 10: for a speech that I made at my year six 424 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 10: graduation as school captain. 425 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 3: Right, So this is actually like this, this is this 426 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,840 Speaker 3: is the pen to paper. I don't know how she 427 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 3: kept it. I don't know how she got it, but 428 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,679 Speaker 3: I've bloody got it. And it turns out I'm not 429 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 3: a very. 430 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 2: Good public speaker because this thing is horrific. 431 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: Or school captain for that matter, you're also a school 432 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,880 Speaker 1: captain when I was at school with you, and I wasn't. 433 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 2: Good at that. 434 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: You are belly there. 435 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I missed a lot. 436 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 3: Anyway, I want to kick off because I want to 437 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 3: read some of this out, because I think we're all 438 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 3: going to get a good giggle at this. I want 439 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 3: to start off by saying that the first thing I've 440 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,879 Speaker 3: written on this piece of paper is just speech with 441 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 3: three exclamation marks. 442 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,240 Speaker 1: It is just so I know what it's real, Year 443 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: twelve enthusias. 444 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,880 Speaker 2: And then I'm going to go down there was. 445 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: With the iving a look at this, you got like purple. 446 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 3: TEXTU Okay, it's clearly been edited by some so you 447 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 3: think you had to tad it into a teacher. 448 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 2: Either a teacher or my mum. 449 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:13,439 Speaker 3: Okay, And he's gone, and you can see there's scribbles 450 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 3: through a lot of staff which she's gone. 451 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 2: You just can't read. 452 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: So are we going to read them out? 453 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 3: Well, there's the bits I'm going to okay because I 454 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 3: am to believe that because they were scribbled out, I 455 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 3: probably didn't read them, but I'm not one hundred percent. 456 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 3: There was a long time ago. This is the paragraph. 457 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,959 Speaker 3: So I was going through all of my teachers and 458 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 3: thanking them. Right, it's the graduation that was the vibe. 459 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 3: Of course, this is what I wrote about my year 460 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,959 Speaker 3: two teacher. Okay, now keep in mind this has been 461 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 3: scribbled out. Okay, after year one, I moved on to 462 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 3: miss alcoholic. 463 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: What what? 464 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 2: How did I even know that word? And then I go. 465 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,920 Speaker 1: Moved on to missed alcoholic. 466 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,199 Speaker 2: It's not so get this. 467 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 3: The next line is oh oops, I'm sorry, miss, And 468 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 3: then I've written her and I'm not going to say 469 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 3: what her real name is, but it rhymes with alcoholic. 470 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 2: I'm twelve. 471 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 3: The gag I've gone for is just your name rhymes 472 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 3: with alcoholic. I probably didn't even know what an alcoholic was. 473 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 3: I just heard it thrown around, and I've gone, here's 474 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 3: a gag. I'm gonna I'm gonna call you miss alcoholic. 475 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 3: I thought she would have been there, she would have 476 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 3: been at the ground, and I thought that was a 477 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,919 Speaker 3: nice little icebreaker. Anyway, it goes on. This is what 478 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,920 Speaker 3: I say about her class. I've got a whole year 479 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 3: to talk about miss, and this is what I go with. Now, 480 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 3: I remember this one time when miss using her real name. 481 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 3: There was talking about boring old Poland. 482 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: I think you must have been from Poland. 483 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 2: When this loud, absurd noise happened. 484 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 3: Everyone turned around and a little red faced boy was 485 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:50,919 Speaker 3: sitting on the ground. 486 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:58,639 Speaker 2: That boy was me. I farted and that that was 487 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 2: where I hinted in the original script. 488 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 3: Now wait the other bit, which has been completely scribbled 489 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 3: at from whoever edited. This is my final paragraph. Right, 490 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 3: So this is the last me. Right, this is the 491 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 3: year six graduation. Probably Canna pays and drinks in the 492 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 3: foyer after. This is what I went with. 493 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 2: To all the teachers I've had. 494 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,879 Speaker 3: I really would like to thank you for my little squeakers, 495 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 3: for the little smells I do here and there. They 496 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,640 Speaker 3: are quite putrid. But there is one thing that smells worse, 497 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 3: the boys toilets. Oh please, someone hire a janitor. 498 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 2: Damn. 499 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,400 Speaker 1: Let's talk about our next guests. 500 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,160 Speaker 3: Yes, Well, earlier today we had the pleasure of Guy 501 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 3: Montgomery in this studio. 502 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 2: He is an amazing New Zealand comedian. 503 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 3: But what you need to know is that last year 504 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 3: when we spoke to Guy Montgomery, he actually went to 505 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 3: the wrong Kiss FM. 506 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 2: Yep, there's two KISSFM. Radio stations. He went to the 507 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,160 Speaker 2: wrong one. So before Guy Montgomery came in this. 508 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,560 Speaker 3: Afternoon, we were like, if he got the wrong kiss, 509 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,920 Speaker 3: what if we get the wrong guy? So what you're 510 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,199 Speaker 3: here is the first questions we asked Guy Montgomery are 511 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 3: specific questions about the other New Zealand comic, Guy Williams. 512 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 3: And the big test was how quickly is he going 513 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 3: to realize that we're talking about the wrong guy. 514 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: Hey, good afternoon everyone. I hope you're having a brilliant 515 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 1: drive home. Got a wonderful guest in the studio. Yes, 516 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 1: go tell you that guy? 517 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 2: Where are they? 518 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,160 Speaker 1: It couldn't be me? Couldn't of course it is. 519 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,920 Speaker 2: I mean, I tell you what, you're a great guest. 520 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 3: When you get nominated for Most Outstanding Show at the 521 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 3: Comedy Festival last year, do. 522 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 2: You feel like there's more pressure on you this year 523 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 2: because you've got nominated? I did well. 524 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 4: I will almost have to start again because I didn't 525 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 4: get nominated last year. 526 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 5: You did? 527 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 6: No? 528 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 1: Okay, well, well. 529 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 2: You absolutely should have been. Can I understand that is? 530 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 2: That is? 531 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: Let's let's move on, shall we? Okay, let's we can 532 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 1: talk about it if you like? Oh no, I mean 533 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,920 Speaker 1: I don't feel aw cool. I just figured this is 534 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 1: a pre recall. Why don't we just stop and start again? 535 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 1: We killed, we called wept doing that. Let's what are we? 536 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 4: Uh well then you know then us saying something crazy? 537 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's right. 538 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 2: That's so crazy. Most outstanding show. 539 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: Why do we talk about your day job because I 540 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 1: know since nineteen you've been hosting New Zealand Today, which 541 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 1: is awesome. 542 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,640 Speaker 4: It's a bit I'm trapped inside of a bit really good. 543 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 4: It's it's desorrenting. I tell you what in New Zealand, 544 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 4: guy Williams, I have lived in this ship. 545 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 1: This isn't you talking right? This is honestly the best 546 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 1: job in the world. I love it so much, you know, 547 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: because it can't go wrong. Was like what if no 548 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 1: one laughs? 549 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 5: I don't give a ship. Sounds like the starter show, 550 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 5: not the end. 551 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,919 Speaker 2: That we have a similar accident. And this isn't just cruel. 552 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,480 Speaker 3: Last time last year when you were here, you went 553 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 3: to the wrong kiss were Kiss? 554 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,360 Speaker 1: Were kiss A double I S And there's a small 555 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 1: metro North Melbourne called Kiss K I S S F M. 556 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 557 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 11: Due to an oversight, some internal council oversite, there are 558 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 11: two kiss if in one K, I is one K. 559 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,120 Speaker 11: It was so vital detail. It turns out a very 560 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 11: small community. 561 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:31,800 Speaker 1: Radio, state Independent. 562 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 11: And you know that because, well, because what I wanted 563 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,880 Speaker 11: to do before I came here to check out the competition. 564 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 1: So you offended us by getting the wrong kiss. So 565 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: we thought by getting the wrong. 566 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 4: Guy, I inconvenienced you guys slightly. I inconvenienced myself. So 567 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,159 Speaker 4: there was a forty five minute care bride to the 568 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 4: wrong suburb. I paid for that, and then the forty 569 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 4: five minute care bride to hear I forgot about it. Okay, 570 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 4: a year past, I come, I'm early, I'm punctual, I'm 571 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 4: waiting outside, I'm sipping my water. 572 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,760 Speaker 2: I come into the studio and it's gonna be fun. 573 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 2: I remember having a good chat with you. 574 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 4: Guys last year, and then immediately you bamboozled me, and 575 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 4: I think, you know, I want to save these guys 576 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 4: their blushes. 577 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 2: They got some bad information, and that's okay. 578 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 3: You suggested, let's restart the interview. 579 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,080 Speaker 1: I thought, well, do you know what, it's the very 580 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: first question. 581 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 2: It's wrong. I'm sure. I apologized a year ago. 582 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 1: He profusely, this wasn't fair enough, and We're actually probably done. 583 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:48,239 Speaker 1: You more of a hindrance because I imagine as there are 584 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:53,480 Speaker 1: two famous Guy Kiwi comedians, which I'm sure has riddled. 585 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,199 Speaker 4: You well in New Zealand, Guy Williams, who is a 586 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,320 Speaker 4: very fun New zeal Commedies. 587 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 2: Also for the comedy Fist, will definitely chicken. 588 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 4: Out was nominated for, but he was he got to 589 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:05,679 Speaker 4: start well before me. 590 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 2: He actually gave me my first gig. 591 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. 592 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 2: I saw him before I even knew I was doing comedy. 593 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 4: He wanted a TV competition to open for a famous 594 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 4: comedian and I saw him one day outside of the 595 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 4: university library. He was canvassing. He was running for student 596 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 4: body president. I said, oh my gosh, you're the guy 597 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 4: from the TV. You're a funny guy. How did you 598 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 4: How do you get into stand up? And he said, 599 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 4: there's an open mic night on a Monday down at 600 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 4: the fringe borrow what everyone went in and just go 601 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 4: down there and try it out. 602 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, thank you. 603 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 4: And he didn't do anything about it for years and 604 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 4: years later on we went on a blind date to 605 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,119 Speaker 4: a gig he was putting on in Auckland and this 606 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 4: like art gallery and I went up to him afterwards. 607 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,400 Speaker 2: I was like, man, I don't know if you remember 608 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 2: I met you. 609 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,640 Speaker 4: I've been thinking about doing comedy and he said, well, 610 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 4: you can open tomorrow night. 611 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:43,959 Speaker 2: So I went along. 612 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 9: He made me. 613 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,639 Speaker 4: Perform my jokes for him before the gig. I was 614 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 4: to make sure they were like horrific, and then I 615 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 4: did the gig. Anyway, so in my career continues a 616 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 4: pace and he's like, he's well ahead of me. He's 617 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 4: famous in New Zealand. He's a big star. And I'm 618 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 4: like all the time on the seeking. 619 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:01,640 Speaker 1: Go and the little guy, the little guy. 620 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,960 Speaker 4: Anyway, I start coming to Australia, chipping away, chipping away, 621 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 4: I get a little profile going. 622 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 2: I think this feels pretty good. 623 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 4: I'm fleixing. You know, I'm a little bit bigger than 624 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 4: guy over here. Finally I've outrun this giant shadow. I 625 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 4: sit down for an interview with Will and Woody and 626 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 4: it's the same. 627 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:20,640 Speaker 2: It's the same. 628 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 4: I used to get emails trying to book him on 629 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 4: panel shows in New Zealand and I was like, I 630 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 4: thought it was all done and then I come in here. 631 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 1: Unbelievable. I had all this line Doorman, I thought it 632 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 1: was that was like therapy. Yeah, it does a breakthrough 633 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 1: for you. 634 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 635 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: Hey, I tell you what. We've spoken way too much 636 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: about the wrong guy. We have got Guy Montgomery in 637 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: the studio. We're going to go to a song and 638 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: we're going to speak only about him in Curry dulcet. 639 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. Next we go Pivment Tea Please. 640 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,719 Speaker 1: It's Will and Woody and Guy Montgomery.