Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast
Speaker 4: Millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another shop
Speaker 4: back money Dairy Monday, where we get to talk to
Speaker 4: a community member to learn about them, their money and
Speaker 4: all of the fun bits and pieces in between. Victoria,
Speaker 4: I have a pretty hectic one for you this week.
Speaker 4: To be honest, this diarist is an absolute true but
Speaker 4: there is no other word for it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I want to hear it. Let's go and.
Speaker 4: Just before we get into it, I do want to
Speaker 4: put in a content warning. We talk about some pretty
Speaker 4: heavy topics in this direst email. You know, if you
Speaker 4: find concepts like physical and mental injury or life and
Speaker 4: death experience is something that's a little bit hard to
Speaker 4: listen to, this might not be the episode for you.
Speaker 4: So our diarist says, I grew up in the country
Speaker 4: with my parents running the local Chinese restaurant. After many
Speaker 4: different roles, I joined a frontline emergency services job in
Speaker 4: two thousand and nine, stationed in Western Sydney, and I
Speaker 4: was medically discharged last year with PTSD and a physical injury.
Speaker 4: My partner was diagnosed with cancer in feb of twenty twenty,
Speaker 4: and he passed away in October last year, leaving behind
Speaker 4: an eighteen year old and a twenty two year old.
Speaker 4: His will was old and it was in the midst
Speaker 4: of being updated when he passed. He was too unwell
Speaker 4: to sign the final draft. Over this time, I also
Speaker 4: had somebody try to steal my identity. I have been
Speaker 4: in a lot of therapy due to my PTSD, but
Speaker 4: in January my psych past which complicated things tremendously as
Speaker 4: I was in the midst of suing my former employer.
Speaker 4: I'm okay for money right now. Due to a payout
Speaker 4: from work cover, but I'm not sure how my partner's
Speaker 4: estate will settle. I look forward to sharing my complex
Speaker 4: story with the community.
Speaker 2: Holy moly, Jess Money Diarist, Welcome to the show. How
Speaker 2: are you.
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 6: You know, it's a bit confronting hearing it all back.
Speaker 6: And I think my self talk is pretty pretty low.
Speaker 6: So I normally ex say to myself, oh, you know what,
Speaker 6: you just need to suck it up. But I was
Speaker 6: listening to that story and I thought, my god, that
Speaker 6: poor human.
Speaker 2: Yes, too much, actually too much to suck up. That's
Speaker 2: not a thing, is it's not a thing? Like I
Speaker 2: just feel like that negative self talk is absolutely serving nobody.
Speaker 2: And anyone who just heard that story would be like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like that is blow after blow after blow.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a bit relentless at the.
Speaker 2: Moment, it would feel that way. All right, let's get
Speaker 2: into the structured questions so we can get comfy, get
Speaker 2: on the same page, and then we can have a
Speaker 2: bit more of a chat on the other side of
Speaker 2: this episode, Money Diarist, can you tell us a little
Speaker 2: bit about your money story?
Speaker 6: Yeah, So, like I said, I grew up in regional
Speaker 6: New South Wales when my parents owned a little restaurant.
Speaker 6: We didn't talk about money a lot at all. But
Speaker 6: I worked at the family restaurant, so I learned really
Speaker 6: good work ethic, but probably didn't really learn the value
Speaker 6: of money, not that I was given everything, but more
Speaker 6: that I had to work for what I got.
Speaker 2: Did you have a salary?
Speaker 6: I got paid ten bucks and start his slave.
Speaker 4: Labor, slave labor, I mean, when it's your family, though,
Speaker 4: what are you gonna do?
Speaker 5: Exactly?
Speaker 6: So I moved to Sydney when I was eighteen to
Speaker 6: study hospitality, and I had a boyfriend at the time
Speaker 6: who I ended up supporting for a couple of years,
Speaker 6: and then I broke up with him. I moved to
Speaker 6: Queensland when I was twenty one and then moved back
Speaker 6: to Sydney for a guy who is now my ex,
Speaker 6: and continued working in hospitality or probably worked anywhere up
Speaker 6: to three jobs at once, and I was living pretty
Speaker 6: much paycheck to paycheck at that stage. I did end
Speaker 6: up studying massuch therapy and mine now ex talked me
Speaker 6: into joining an armored the emergency services when I was
Speaker 6: twenty seven. When I started working there, and then in
Speaker 6: twenty thirteen he cheated on me and I pretty much
Speaker 6: walked out the door with my dog good. We've been
Speaker 6: together for about ten years and he had a pretty
Speaker 6: decent property portfolio and I refused, I wouldn't take any
Speaker 6: of it. I ended up getting together with my partner,
Speaker 6: and then in early twenty nineteen is when I went
Speaker 6: off work with my psychological injury, and then I did
Speaker 6: therapy all through that year pretty much, and then I
Speaker 6: had surgery on a physical injury from work, and two
Speaker 6: weeks after my surgery, my partner was diagnosed with cancer.
Speaker 6: And then we pretty much spent eighteen months juggling my
Speaker 6: treatment and his treatment, and I was medically discharged from
Speaker 6: work last year early last year, and he passed away
Speaker 6: late last year.
Speaker 2: That is a shit show. There's no other way cat that,
Speaker 2: Like I can't be like, oh are you really, like
Speaker 2: if you're okay? Like I do not understand like how
Speaker 2: anyone could be okay after that, Like that is a
Speaker 2: lot to go through. I admire your strength.
Speaker 6: Thanks. Yeah, So I now have two legal matters going
Speaker 6: through with my employer or my previous employer, and as
Speaker 6: well as my partner's estate, which is just anny ay.
Speaker 4: And something you don't need after going through such a
Speaker 4: traumatic experience as well. And I'm so sorry that that
Speaker 4: is the case.
Speaker 6: Thanks.
Speaker 2: What was your partner like?
Speaker 5: Oh he was frustrating.
Speaker 2: They all are.
Speaker 6: Oh no, he was frustrating and he was funny. We
Speaker 6: we were like peas in a pod.
Speaker 2: No, I'm so sorry to food. Good joint loves are
Speaker 2: very important. Was he also a dog person?
Speaker 6: Yes, you can see the pictures behind me. This one
Speaker 6: was his dog.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: This dog here is the one that I took from
Speaker 5: my ex.
Speaker 6: Yeah good, this one is my terrible naughty puppy because
Speaker 6: this guy he passed away.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, he has the cutest, cheekiest It's beautiful
Speaker 4: art actually really lovely for everyone who can't see. She's
Speaker 4: got beautiful portraits of her Pappa's on the back wall
Speaker 4: which are just gorgeous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're stunning. And that one on the far right
Speaker 2: looks so cheeky, like he just looks like he's naughty.
Speaker 5: She's the devil child.
Speaker 2: Get along with Lucy, all right, money, darist, I want
Speaker 2: to know the next question is what do you do
Speaker 2: for work and how much money do you currently earn?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 6: I actually I like to tell people that I'm a
Speaker 6: stay at home dog.
Speaker 2: Mum at the moment, live in the dream.
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm on.
Speaker 6: Payments of seventy five thousand a year and part of
Speaker 6: my payment is paid fortnightly and part of my payment
Speaker 6: is paid.
Speaker 4: Monthly's interesting and confusing. That would be hard to budget for.
Speaker 6: It is very confusing sometimes.
Speaker 2: So what does that leave you with? Because obviously you've
Speaker 2: got someone going medical expenses like on a month to
Speaker 2: month or fortnite' to fortnite basis, what does that mean
Speaker 2: hits your account? And how much is usually left in
Speaker 2: terms of wiggle room?
Speaker 6: So fortnightly I get paid about one thousand dollars and
Speaker 6: then monthly I'm paid about three thousand. So at the moment,
Speaker 6: my insurer is still paying all of my medical expenses,
Speaker 6: so that's a bit of the bonus good. So that
Speaker 6: basically comes in and I'm okay as well as like,
Speaker 6: we're probably going to get into this in a little
Speaker 6: bit with loans and stuff. Because the mortgage is in
Speaker 6: my partner's name. Everything has been put on a whole,
Speaker 6: so I'm not making any mortgage repayments or anything like that.
Speaker 6: And the only other loan that we had was on
Speaker 6: the dream car that we bought, and again because that's
Speaker 6: in his name, it's all been put on hold.
Speaker 2: That is so fickle and so confusing, and also a
Speaker 2: really good example of why it is so important to
Speaker 2: have an up to date will, because no one thinks
Speaker 2: about it, right. You just go, oh, I have a will,
Speaker 2: It'll be fine. But an up to date will doesn't
Speaker 2: change your life, but it changes your family's life and
Speaker 2: the people that have to deal with everything after you're gone.
Speaker 5: Definitely.
Speaker 6: I keep saying people, I'm really forceful. I'm always like,
Speaker 6: have you got a will? If you don't have a will, like,
Speaker 6: I will punch you in the favor.
Speaker 5: Just for the people.
Speaker 2: You love the aggression. I love it. It's like all
Speaker 2: of my clients come and see me and I'll sort
Speaker 2: out your finances, and I ask a question. I'm like,
Speaker 2: will's in estate planning? Where are we at nearly? Oh,
Speaker 2: it's fine, we're young. I'm like, cool, So I'll book
Speaker 2: a meeting with Lucy. You're going to go, You're going
Speaker 2: to do this because we're not having this conversation later.
Speaker 2: But it is something that so many of us just
Speaker 2: don't think is a p because we're young, right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and definitely, And I keep saying to people, we gave,
Speaker 6: but what happens if a plane falls out of the
Speaker 6: sky and lanes on top of you, Like what happens?
Speaker 2: Then yeah, exactly. We've got to expect the unexpected and
Speaker 2: prepare for the worst. But I want to ask the
Speaker 2: next question, my friend. I'd like to know, do you
Speaker 2: have any investments.
Speaker 6: I have my super yes, which is sitting at seven
Speaker 6: hundred and one thousand.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 2: Wow, what seven hundred and one thousand. I think you've
Speaker 2: got the highest super fund of anyone that we've ever
Speaker 2: had on money diaries.
Speaker 5: So I probably need to explain that.
Speaker 6: Because of my injury, I was paid out my TPDEAH insurance,
Speaker 6: so that was five hundred and forty thousand, and that
Speaker 6: was put in with my super. So I actually spoke
Speaker 6: to a financial advisor and he said, there's no real
Speaker 6: point you're taking it out justly but where it is
Speaker 6: until you've decided what you want to do with it.
Speaker 5: So it's just great in their duldens.
Speaker 6: And I also have just a little Rai's account that's
Speaker 6: got about two and a half thousand.
Speaker 2: Indn't it great? How good? Next question, do you have
Speaker 2: any debts.
Speaker 6: No, not well, yes, but no, so not in my name.
Speaker 6: I don't have any debts, but our mortgage and the
Speaker 6: car loan is in my partner's name. So I think
Speaker 6: we're owing about one hundred and fifty on the house.
Speaker 6: And we bought our dream car, which was Aline Cruiser,
Speaker 6: and we've got fifty five thousand left on that.
Speaker 2: Land Cruisers are speno, but in this market they hold
Speaker 2: their value so arguably not the worst investment. Let's be honest.
Speaker 5: It's worth more than what we paid for it.
Speaker 2: Honestly, everyone who has a land Cruiser keeps telling me that.
Speaker 2: And I've got a client and he knows who he is.
Speaker 2: He listens to the episodes. He bought one, and he's
Speaker 2: like at the time, he's like, Victoria, it's a good investment.
Speaker 2: And I was like, you've got rocks in your head. Boy,
Speaker 2: did I learn?
Speaker 5: Ha ha ha.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they're not cheap.
Speaker 2: They are not cheap. Next question, do you use shop
Speaker 2: back by chance?
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 6: I actually use it for these three guys. I shop
Speaker 6: through pet Circle there, but I don't really do much
Speaker 6: shopping or online shopping, to be honest with you, but
Speaker 6: I do use it a little bit with pet Circle,
Speaker 6: and you know, if I've got birthdays or something coming up.
Speaker 2: Occasionally, I feel like it's just helpful for those things
Speaker 2: that you were going to buy anyway, not necessarily like
Speaker 2: going shopping. But pet Circle great money win. I'm going
Speaker 2: to get some more cash back because small gripe of mine.
Speaker 2: How expensive pet food is?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 6: What great?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 6: And my dogs they eat so much?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: I want to know what is your best money habit?
Speaker 6: My best money habit. I'm pretty good at waiting things out, like, oh,
Speaker 6: wait for a good price on something. And I'm not
Speaker 6: scared of haggling. Like I said, we bought a land
Speaker 6: Cruiser in twenty twenty, and your friend who you were
Speaker 6: talking about before will probably be a bit impressed that
Speaker 6: because they retail it about one hundred and four thousand,
Speaker 6: and I haggled them down to ninety four.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 6: And I have, yes, no clue why they gave it
Speaker 6: to me for that price.
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. Just for context, I
Speaker 2: think he spent close to one fifty and then did
Speaker 2: all of these upgrades and stuff on it. I don't understand.
Speaker 2: I just was sitting there being like this is a
Speaker 2: bad idea, but turns out. It was good idea. I
Speaker 2: feel like haggling these days is very underlooked. People don't
Speaker 2: do it. Do you find yourself haggling on a lot
Speaker 2: of big purchases? I mean you can't go to pet
Speaker 2: Circle and be like, hey, can I spend less on
Speaker 2: pet food? But things like cars and really bad purchasers.
Speaker 2: Oh that's not true.
Speaker 6: Not if you go online and find a cheaper price online,
Speaker 6: you can speak to the pet Circle people on their
Speaker 6: little chat and then they'll go and have a look
Speaker 6: at it and then they'll give it to you for
Speaker 6: the same price.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm going to do that. I'm going
Speaker 2: to do that too. Money win, she is for that?
Speaker 2: What is something you wouldn't haggle in that case?
Speaker 6: Oh? Like, I'm not going to go to the supermarket
Speaker 6: and hagle there.
Speaker 2: You're not the type of person to peel the bananas
Speaker 2: before trying to pay for them.
Speaker 6: No, not that girl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, all right. On the flip side, what is
Speaker 2: your worst money habit?
Speaker 6: So my worst money habit is I'm probably not brave
Speaker 6: enough to invest or put money into a term deposit,
Speaker 6: and I know I really want to, and I've got
Speaker 6: money there to do it, but I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 6: I don't know, should I do it? I'm a little
Speaker 6: bit It makes me just a little bit anxious to
Speaker 6: be honest.
Speaker 2: I get it, I get it. It's all about education,
Speaker 2: though I'm making steps that make sense to you, and
Speaker 2: to be honest at this point in your life, I
Speaker 2: feel like that is a stress you just don't need.
Speaker 2: Knowing enough about your financial circumstances, your age, and what's
Speaker 2: in your super You're going to be just fine even
Speaker 2: if we wait another twelve or twenty four months until
Speaker 2: everything just feels a little bit clearer. I think that
Speaker 2: this is it's just one of those things where it's like,
Speaker 2: let's take that load off. And I think that there
Speaker 2: shouldn't be any pressure to start an investment journey when
Speaker 2: you're stressed about other things in life, like life needs
Speaker 2: to sometimes come first. And I think that you're doing
Speaker 2: the right thing by going in a what not my circus,
Speaker 2: not my monkey's this week. I've got enough going on
Speaker 2: because it's just another added stress, And the start of
Speaker 2: an investment journey does involve you being quite involved in it, right,
Speaker 2: Like you need to know what decisions you're making. It
Speaker 2: can't be something that you just set and forget from
Speaker 2: the beginning, because we really need to make sure that
Speaker 2: we're making the right decisions that are in line with
Speaker 2: our values and goals. But right now it sounds like
Speaker 2: a little bit of a tumultuous time. So let's come
Speaker 2: back to that one at some point, my friend, all right,
Speaker 2: last question before we go on a bit of a
Speaker 2: deep dive after the break. I'd like to know what
Speaker 2: grade would you give yourself if we force you to
Speaker 2: give yourself a money grade.
Speaker 5: I would probably give myself like a bee.
Speaker 6: I was much worse with my money than I am now,
Speaker 6: and I'm learning a lot. I've been pretty good with
Speaker 6: my savings, to be honest with you, because I have
Speaker 6: about one.
Speaker 5: Hundred and thirty thousand dollars.
Speaker 6: Saved, oh my goodness, jobs in several different bank accounts.
Speaker 6: So I'd probably give myself a bee because I feel
Speaker 6: like I could learn much much more and I could
Speaker 6: be a bit smarter with it. But at the moment, again,
Speaker 6: but a little bit going.
Speaker 2: On, Yeah, exactly, I would think that a bee is
Speaker 2: a little bit harsh given how well you're doing, how
Speaker 2: you've got good savings, good cash flow habits, You've got
Speaker 2: epic super I would think that you are not giving
Speaker 2: yourself enough credit, which I think might be a theme
Speaker 2: that runs through your life at this point in time.
Speaker 6: Well, you I'm pretty good at being pretty hard on myself.
Speaker 2: I'm picking up that vibe. But let's dive into that
Speaker 2: after this very quick break money diarist.
Speaker 4: I want to kind of start at the start of
Speaker 4: your message and talk about your injuries. And I really
Speaker 4: like that you referred to your PTSD as your psychological injury,
Speaker 4: because I really believe in the power of words, and
Speaker 4: I think that too often psychological problems are kind of
Speaker 4: not addressed with the same level of seriousness or directness
Speaker 4: that physical injuries are. So I just want to say
Speaker 4: I really like that you did that, and I will
Speaker 4: be doing that going forwards. But obviously juggling a physical
Speaker 4: and psychological injury at the same time would be very challenging.
Speaker 4: And there has been a history in you know, the
Speaker 4: emergency services of things sometimes you know, not being maybe
Speaker 4: dealt with in a way that you would hope for
Speaker 4: them to be dealt with, And I wanted to talk
Speaker 4: to you a little bit about that experience because you
Speaker 4: said you're still going through legal battles today, Can you
Speaker 4: tell us a bit about what happened?
Speaker 6: So for me, it was a little bit of a
Speaker 6: build up of, you know, being exposed to a lot
Speaker 6: of traumatic incidents over a long period of time, and
Speaker 6: then I went to work and was with an incident
Speaker 6: that when I walked away, I was really angry at
Speaker 6: myself with how I dealt with it. So it's actually
Speaker 6: considered like a moral injury because you've done something that
Speaker 6: is you would not normally do or think. So I
Speaker 6: actually ended up doing CPR on a local drug dealer
Speaker 6: who I really despised, and I remember walking away thinking,
Speaker 6: a uf and series, this is the one person that
Speaker 6: I get to try and save today.
Speaker 4: I mean, I can't even begin to imagine. But it's
Speaker 4: such a testament to you as a person. To be
Speaker 4: able to put your own personal feelings and all of
Speaker 4: the things that you were dealing with at the time
Speaker 4: to put them aside to do your job to save
Speaker 4: somebody's life is nothing short of incredible. And regardless of
Speaker 4: the choices that that person made, there is one more
Speaker 4: person in this world because of you, and that is
Speaker 4: just amazing.
Speaker 2: That's so special, And I just feel like as a
Speaker 2: frontline worker, you get dealt these cards where you can't
Speaker 2: really place judgment over these things, like you're doing your job.
Speaker 4: How big of a gap was there between that psychological
Speaker 4: injury occurring and then your physical injury.
Speaker 6: My physical injury actually occurred first.
Speaker 2: Okay, So.
Speaker 6: When I got my physical injury, I really didn't think
Speaker 6: anything of it, and I just put in a form
Speaker 6: to say, you know, I've done this. I think there
Speaker 6: might be an injury, but I'm okay. I didn't get
Speaker 6: any treatment for it at the time, and then several
Speaker 6: months later I was at the doctors and I was
Speaker 6: speaking to him and then spoke to my physiotherapist and
Speaker 6: she was like, oh, I really think you may should
Speaker 6: maybe have a look at getting some skins done on it.
Speaker 6: So I went did that and then went back to
Speaker 6: the insurance company was like, hey, listen, this is what's
Speaker 6: come up in these skins, and then they pretty much
Speaker 6: took coverage of it. And yeah, so I ended up
Speaker 6: having to have surgery to repair the ligament in my wrist,
Speaker 6: So that was pretty delightful.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, it wouldn't have been. No, it wouldn't have been.
Speaker 6: It has taken a long time to rehab risks.
Speaker 4: Are so complex because there's so my partner's actually a physico,
Speaker 4: and there's so many tiny, little minuscule bones in there.
Speaker 4: And turns out you actually use your hands a lot
Speaker 4: in day to day life and you have. So that happened.
Speaker 4: You did the right thing. You filled out the form.
Speaker 4: The insurance that you were referring to. Is that your
Speaker 4: personal insurances that you had, or insurance through your employer.
Speaker 6: No insurance through the employer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, So they looked after everything there and then
Speaker 4: fast forward quite a few years to today. Where is
Speaker 4: the sticking point with your employer? What is embroiling you
Speaker 4: in this legal battle that stretched out over so much time.
Speaker 6: So just because we're now at the final stages of
Speaker 6: litigation with the insurance company as to whether or not
Speaker 6: they are liable for my.
Speaker 2: Injuries, yeah okay, And I'm assuming that pertains more to
Speaker 2: the psychological injury than it does to the physical, Is
Speaker 2: that correct? Yeah? That seems to be pretty standard in
Speaker 2: frontline worker like life. But it actually disgusts me, like
Speaker 2: the idea that the people that literally put their lives
Speaker 2: on the line, like you spoke before that you did
Speaker 2: CPR on a drug dealer, Like that is putting yourself
Speaker 2: in And I'm sure you've been in a million more
Speaker 2: dangerous situations that I don't understand and you know don't
Speaker 2: know about, but like that's a circumstance that not every
Speaker 2: single person would be willing to put themselves in for
Speaker 2: the you know, greater good of the community and of
Speaker 2: our you know, our space and our world, and then
Speaker 2: things like this happen and you're not put in an
Speaker 2: optimal position, like it just it makes me so angry
Speaker 2: to think that you have to go through this and
Speaker 2: you have to put your time and your energy and
Speaker 2: your effort into making this happen, because ideally, if it
Speaker 2: was up to them, it would have been swept under
Speaker 2: the rug. I'm assuming that's exactly right.
Speaker 6: It would have been you know, me just being a
Speaker 6: number and then them being able to replace me so easily.
Speaker 2: It's actually disgusting. So talk to me about next steps.
Speaker 2: All of this is happening. You've been through a lot
Speaker 2: in that space, and then you went through everything with
Speaker 2: your partner in addition to this, Like how are you doing,
Speaker 2: how are you dealing with this? Like what's going on
Speaker 2: at the moment and what support are you getting, because
Speaker 2: obviously that is so essential to this journey.
Speaker 6: I'm probably pretty lucky, and I really built really good
Speaker 6: support network around me, so I made sure, like you know,
Speaker 6: I was pretty demanding with my treatment, so my psych
Speaker 6: injury in particular, or I demanded, you know, the best,
Speaker 6: the best psychologists and the best psychiatrists. And then I'm
Speaker 6: super lucky to have the most amazing friends.
Speaker 5: And family.
Speaker 6: So I've relighted heavily on that with my psych injury.
Speaker 6: I have also done like so much therapy, like group
Speaker 6: therapy and stuff. And in one week I go to
Speaker 6: a mental health facility for a little holiday away just
Speaker 6: to try and deal with some of my own stuff.
Speaker 2: I think that is a very good step in the
Speaker 2: right direction, and the support there twenty four to seven
Speaker 2: will mean that you can just focus on you.
Speaker 6: I'm super excited to not even have to cook my
Speaker 6: own food.
Speaker 4: I was going to say the real benefit of those places,
Speaker 4: and a very close family member of mine spent some
Speaker 4: time in a facility, and the benefit is really that,
Speaker 4: you know, as a human being, you take on so
Speaker 4: many little loads, like you said, the cooking or trying
Speaker 4: to keep on top of the housework and going to
Speaker 4: somewhere where all of that is alleviated and stripped back,
Speaker 4: so you can really just be with yourself and focus
Speaker 4: on you and everything that you've been through. I think
Speaker 4: there's a lot of stigma attached to it, and I
Speaker 4: think it's so ridiculous because actually, for a lot of people,
Speaker 4: it's actually what you need is just the clarity of
Speaker 4: sitting with yourself.
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely, I just need a little bit of time
Speaker 6: out from the everything that's going on and just some
Speaker 6: time to deal with everything that I'm going through.
Speaker 2: I agree. I think it is a very positive step
Speaker 2: in the right direction. But I want to ask because unfortunately,
Speaker 2: when it comes to frontline workers, this isn't the first
Speaker 2: time I've heard in our community legal battles going on
Speaker 2: between you know, different services and previous employers because of
Speaker 2: physical or mental injuries or even bullying. I just feel
Speaker 2: like I think I'm in a very special pasion right
Speaker 2: like you guys. I hope and trust me with your
Speaker 2: stories and trust me enough to reach out when these
Speaker 2: things happen, And obviously I'll bend over backwards to make
Speaker 2: sure you're in an okay position. But it just seems
Speaker 2: all too prevalent. What support are you getting? Obviously you've
Speaker 2: got a really great support network, but are there resources
Speaker 2: that you've been leaning on that other people in our
Speaker 2: community might be able to lean on as well? Or like,
Speaker 2: how are you dealing with this? And I won't say
Speaker 2: so well because I'm sure you don't feel so well,
Speaker 2: but I'm genuinely like what how is she going through
Speaker 2: all of this and still going like, oh, I have
Speaker 2: negative self talk? Like no, I want to pick you
Speaker 2: up and hug you and send you on a holiday
Speaker 2: and be like what can I do? Well?
Speaker 5: I'd love a holiday.
Speaker 6: So, you know, if it's you know, dealing with, say
Speaker 6: a mental health issue, I always suggest to people, you know,
Speaker 6: you go to your GP and you speak to them
Speaker 6: and get yourself a mental health plan because they will
Speaker 6: cover either the whole cost or part of the cost
Speaker 6: to see a psychologist or accounts or something like that.
Speaker 6: So that's what I've always sort of suggest. As for
Speaker 6: you know, when I was working in emergency services, I
Speaker 6: don't think I took up any of the services that
Speaker 6: they provided with, like for psychological stuff or anything like that.
Speaker 6: I guess there was that still that stigma and I
Speaker 6: didn't want to be tired with that brush.
Speaker 5: Now I'm a bit like, shit, I'll tell you everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I feel like that's also relatively common
Speaker 2: as well. Like a lot of people that we've previously
Speaker 2: discussed this with are very much on the page of
Speaker 2: they don't want help from internal psychologists or internal support
Speaker 2: because they just feel like it might be used against
Speaker 2: them or might not be taken as seriously, whereas you know,
Speaker 2: external help might be a little bit easier on you
Speaker 2: and the process might be a little bit more comforting.
Speaker 2: It's a hard position to be in, and I just
Speaker 2: look at it and go, there's something wrong with the
Speaker 2: system if this is like these are the situations that
Speaker 2: you're finding yourself in.
Speaker 6: It's so hard, Like you don't want to be that
Speaker 6: person who's gone off with the head noise is right,
Speaker 6: and then you come back and nobody wants to be
Speaker 6: like working with you, or they don't want to, you know,
Speaker 6: they don't want to associate with you because for whatever reason,
Speaker 6: it's a really harsh stigma. And I mean, even since
Speaker 6: I've been off, I've noticed that the people who stay
Speaker 6: in contact with me are few and far between. There's
Speaker 6: quite a lot of people who you know. I thought
Speaker 6: I was really good friends with at the time because
Speaker 6: we work together a lot, and then you know, I've
Speaker 6: not heard boo from them since.
Speaker 2: I hate that. But traumatic events often help you find
Speaker 2: who your true friends are. And as much as it
Speaker 2: feels like a loss, something that I said to a
Speaker 2: friend the other day is sometimes you lose something and
Speaker 2: it's not a loss. Like sometimes when you shed something,
Speaker 2: it feels like a loss because you're like, wait, that
Speaker 2: was so good, but it actually wasn't because it was
Speaker 2: all not real. It wasn't authentic because if it was,
Speaker 2: they would have followed up with you, they would have
Speaker 2: cared about you. So not everything you lose is a loss,
Speaker 2: my friend.
Speaker 5: Oh that's so true.
Speaker 2: All right. Shifting back to your partner, that is just
Speaker 2: a blow that nobody ever needs, especially going through what
Speaker 2: you're going through. I genuinely just cannot imagine. But to
Speaker 2: add insult to injury, you're also now having to deal
Speaker 2: with the will and the estate planning process. You mentioned
Speaker 2: before that his will was outdated. What does that process
Speaker 2: look like for you now and how are you dealing
Speaker 2: with that?
Speaker 6: So my partner, he was previously married and he has kids,
Speaker 6: sick his ex wife, and at some stage previously.
Speaker 5: You know, before me, there was a will.
Speaker 6: Written and it is signed, and it's somewhere, but we
Speaker 6: don't know where. He was in the process of rewriting
Speaker 6: a new will and had written up a document which
Speaker 6: he'd sent to a solicitor, and when she sent the
Speaker 6: draft back was actually the day that he went back
Speaker 6: into the hospital for the final time, and by the
Speaker 6: time I got in to see him, he was so
Speaker 6: doped up on morphine and drugs that he wasn't able
Speaker 6: to sign it. So I contacted the solicitor and I said, listen,
Speaker 6: I'm really sorry, we won't be able to do this.
Speaker 5: She said, that's fine, because we have this document.
Speaker 6: We may be able to just run it like as
Speaker 6: per usual because it's a document that he's written.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 5: Anyway, so he passed away.
Speaker 6: I contacted the solicitor to start the whole process, and
Speaker 6: she basically came back and said to me, she said, oh,
Speaker 6: that document, We've had another look at it and it's
Speaker 6: probably not quite as water tight as it needs to be.
Speaker 6: She said, we need to make attempts to try and
Speaker 6: find the old will, and if we find it, then
Speaker 6: you're basically going to have to go to court and
Speaker 6: we're going to have to contest it to bring this
Speaker 6: new will into play.
Speaker 2: Ah and all because of a signature.
Speaker 6: Yes, and then also a lot of things that you know,
Speaker 6: sometimes you don't know until you've been through it. So
Speaker 6: his kids are eighteen and twenty two, and in the
Speaker 6: document that he wrote up he had requested that they
Speaker 6: don't get the money until they're twenty five, but he
Speaker 6: hadn't set up any trusts or anything like that. And
Speaker 6: also the money his life insurance had beneficiaries listed, which
Speaker 6: were the two kids, and I think he thought that
Speaker 6: that would just automatically pay out the house and the
Speaker 6: car loan and then go into.
Speaker 5: The estate and then be divvied up.
Speaker 6: And that's not how it works. The same sort of
Speaker 6: thing for his superin stuff like that. And then you know,
Speaker 6: so it's all a lot of waiting around and my
Speaker 6: signature here and a signature there, and filling in this document.
Speaker 6: So it is a bit of a nightmare.
Speaker 7: And I implore people to just get a will agreed,
Speaker 7: and get a good one because, as you're finding out now,
Speaker 7: just having a will doesn't mean it will be facilitated
Speaker 7: in the way you want it to be facilitated.
Speaker 2: So the example you just gave before, you said that
Speaker 2: there are beneficiaries on his insurance and he's super and
Speaker 2: he assumed that maybe it would pay off the house
Speaker 2: and car and then be divvied up. Unfortunately, for that
Speaker 2: to happen, it would have had to nominate the estate
Speaker 2: first and then have a will that supports that. That
Speaker 2: means that it would be divvied up after whatever is
Speaker 2: left over, after getting rid of any debt and making
Speaker 2: sure that everything's good. But that's something that you know,
Speaker 2: the average person isn't going to know or even know
Speaker 2: how to facilitate. One of the most important things that
Speaker 2: you can do for your family is talk to a
Speaker 2: wills and estate planning lawyer and just get it drawn up.
Speaker 2: Like as much as it's not something we want to
Speaker 2: talk about, like it is really morbid, right, Like it's
Speaker 2: not something that anybody wants to face, Like facing your
Speaker 2: o immortality is not a nice conversation, But being able
Speaker 2: to have that conversation while that person is still there
Speaker 2: is not only very constructive and puts everyone in a
Speaker 2: better position long term, but also costs everybody far less
Speaker 2: money because at the moment, you'd be going back and
Speaker 2: forth with a solicitor and you know, making sure that
Speaker 2: everything's paid for and to go to court costs money,
Speaker 2: whereas a good estate plan can cost anywhere between one
Speaker 2: thousand and you know, three thousand dollars depending on who
Speaker 2: you go through and what that looks like and what
Speaker 2: your structure looks like. And obviously that's just my experience
Speaker 2: as a financial advisor who does work quite closely with
Speaker 2: the state planning lawyers. But I just go, that's an
Speaker 2: investment that you make for your future and for your family.
Speaker 2: Like you don't get a will for you, you get
Speaker 2: a will for your family to not have to go
Speaker 2: through the circumstances that you're going through at the moment,
Speaker 2: because it's a headache and it's painful, and we want
Speaker 2: time to grieve the loss of this beautiful person, not
Speaker 2: have to chase up paperwork and you know, consistently be
Speaker 2: asked questions in such a clinical manner like, let's use
Speaker 2: that time far more effectively. So I'm so sorry that
Speaker 2: you're going through that. It honestly breaks my heart to
Speaker 2: think that someone in our community is just having a
Speaker 2: shitty time like honestly, like calling out what it is.
Speaker 2: It's just terrible. I'm honestly it breaks my heart. But
Speaker 2: the next question I do have is how can we
Speaker 2: support you as she's on the money, Like, what can
Speaker 2: we do? How can you know she's on the money
Speaker 2: support you and people like you going through these circumstances?
Speaker 2: Is it about you going all right? Well, I just
Speaker 2: want everyone to get will and their estate plans sorted.
Speaker 2: I just want, you know, people to reach out more
Speaker 2: or how do we want to approach that conversation? Because
Speaker 2: sometimes you know, I'm sure that a lot of people
Speaker 2: in your life just don't know how to start the conversation.
Speaker 2: They're just like I don't know how to even talk
Speaker 2: to her because she's been through so much and we
Speaker 2: don't want to offend or upset her. Like what do
Speaker 2: we do?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 6: No, I'm pretty open and honest about everything. And like
Speaker 6: I said earlier, like that's probably the first question I
Speaker 6: asked most people when I see them, as have you
Speaker 6: got a will? And they love that. I go on
Speaker 6: and say if you don't have a will, like I
Speaker 6: will slap you, And like you said, you know, you
Speaker 6: don't get a will for yourself. You write that will
Speaker 6: for the people that you love, and it's your legacy.
Speaker 2: Legacy is a beautiful way of putting it as well.
Speaker 6: Yeah, just do it like because otherwise nothing that you
Speaker 6: want or nothing that you expected is going to happen.
Speaker 4: And if you do want to learn more about wills,
Speaker 4: we did do a full episode on them and why
Speaker 4: they are so important because money direst We are very
Speaker 4: very aligned on that viewpoint with you. But thank you
Speaker 4: so much for being so candid with us. I think
Speaker 4: that what you have been through is nothing short of horrific,
Speaker 4: but there are lots of people who will be able
Speaker 4: to relate to elements of it, and if you are
Speaker 4: going through something really difficult, we will have a link
Speaker 4: in the show notes to Beyond Blue. They are fantastic
Speaker 4: free not for profit that work really closely with people
Speaker 4: in the mental health space. Because, like we said earlier,
Speaker 4: your mental health is so important and I am so
Speaker 4: supportive of people taking it seriously and giving it the
Speaker 4: attention that it absolutely deserves.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for having me, guys, No, thank you
Speaker 2: for being so generous with your time and with your story.
Speaker 2: I'm always very grateful to share stories with our community,
Speaker 2: but yours especially I think is going to impact a
Speaker 2: lot of people. And I know that you have everyone
Speaker 2: in the Shoes on the Money community behind you, like
Speaker 2: I know who everyone is listening at the moment going
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, she needs to be so kind to herself,
Speaker 2: Like what a beautiful human. So thank you for one
Speaker 2: being in our community and too sharing your story.
Speaker 6: I'm just so grateful, thanks so much, really appreciate.
Speaker 5: It, Jess.
Speaker 2: Now can you wrap the boring but important stuff?
Speaker 4: Of course, don't forget, guys, the advice shared on She's
Speaker 4: on the Money is general in nature and does not
Speaker 4: consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely
Speaker 4: for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to
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Speaker 4: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
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Speaker 2: See you on Wednesday, guys.
Speaker 4: Bye,