Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money. She's on
Speaker 2: the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money,
Speaker 2: the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back
Speaker 2: to another one of our money diaries when we talk
Speaker 2: with one of our incredible She's on the Money community
Speaker 2: members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into this one.
Speaker 2: We got a message this week and it went a
Speaker 2: little like this. Hi, She's on the Money. I'd love
Speaker 2: to share my money story that's interwoven with mental health struggles.
Speaker 2: I've recently been released from a psychiatric hospital. Stay was
Speaker 2: married at the end of last year. And have returned
Speaker 2: from an extended honeymoon and work break. I used to
Speaker 2: live week to week and was in a bad relationship,
Speaker 2: but got out and saved my money. Life is a
Speaker 2: roller coaster and have recently experienced mental health battles and
Speaker 2: how money interplays into this Money Diarist. I feel like
Speaker 2: this is going to be a roller coaster, as you say,
Speaker 2: but also really relatable. Thank you, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Before we start, I do just want to give our
Speaker 2: friends who were listening a little bit of a content
Speaker 2: warning that this Money Diary does contain conversation about trauma, depression,
Speaker 2: and eating disorders. So if that is something that you
Speaker 2: are not ready to hear right now, or it's not
Speaker 2: the day for it today, we have a million other
Speaker 2: podcasts you can go and listen to and we will
Speaker 2: see you on another day. But content warning aside. Money Diarist.
Speaker 2: I'm very excited to have you on the show today.
Speaker 2: Thank you, me too.
Speaker 3: I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 2: Oh how good? All right, we're mixing things up this
Speaker 2: year and I'm actually starting with our last question. So,
Speaker 2: Money Direst, do you mind if we dive straight into
Speaker 2: asking the big hitting questions. Yes, let's go, let's go
Speaker 2: all right, money Dorus, I want to know, because we're
Speaker 2: mixing it up this year, what grade would you give
Speaker 2: you money habits if we asked you to give yourself
Speaker 2: a grade from A to F.
Speaker 3: Oh, I think a C plus, a C plus maybe
Speaker 3: diving into a B minus.
Speaker 2: Oh. I'm interested to hear more about that. So as
Speaker 2: always my favorite. Now second question is I want to
Speaker 2: know a little bit more about your money story and
Speaker 2: your attitude towards money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it has changed a lot over the past
Speaker 3: few years. Growing up in my family, we were told
Speaker 3: never to talk about salary, don't talk about people's money situation.
Speaker 3: It was just taboo. It was bad vibes to talk
Speaker 3: about money, and so I had no financial literacy. We
Speaker 3: were comfortable, but we weren't living luxuriously. We didn't go overseas.
Speaker 3: We skimped on food and clothes sometimes. You know, my
Speaker 3: parents worked really hard to pay off their mortgage, pay
Speaker 3: our school fees, build a new house for us. But
Speaker 3: it definitely we weren't living large, that's for sure. So
Speaker 3: my attitude was when I was fourteen and got my
Speaker 3: slip signed off by my parents, I got out, got
Speaker 3: a job and just, you know, wanted my own money,
Speaker 3: and I wanted to buy my own clothes, and so
Speaker 3: I've been a spender ever since.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's relatable for everybody who's grown up
Speaker 2: in a similar circumstance. I feel like it goes from
Speaker 2: one end to the spectrum to the other. Like if
Speaker 2: you grew up and it was scrimping and saving and
Speaker 2: you genuinely felt like you were missing out, Sometimes you
Speaker 2: end up going all the way to the other end.
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm just going to spend. I don't even care.
Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about budget because maybe you
Speaker 2: don't know enough about it yet. But you just go
Speaker 2: straight to the other end and you just spend, spend, spend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll take my seven dollars from Macers and I'll
Speaker 3: go buy a new top. That's what I want. And
Speaker 3: I always strived for a higher salary because I've just
Speaker 3: wanted more and more clothes basically. But it really changed
Speaker 3: when I left a relationship several years ago and realized
Speaker 3: I didn't have much to my name. Actually, despite earning
Speaker 3: okay money, I was leaving week to week I didn't
Speaker 3: have anything to show for it. And when I went
Speaker 3: through my mental health crisis and it got really bad.
Speaker 3: I was really lucky that I had changed my ways
Speaker 3: and I did have some money put aside for that.
Speaker 2: Oh smart. So despite what you said before, so you
Speaker 2: said that you grew up and you didn't really get
Speaker 2: a financial education, you didn't have much financial literacy because
Speaker 2: it was taboo to talk about money. I want to
Speaker 2: dive a little bit deeper into that because I feel
Speaker 2: like that is really relatable. When you say it was
Speaker 2: taboo to talk about money. Is that because you brought
Speaker 2: it up one time and got shut down or was
Speaker 2: it just something that you inherently knew you shouldn't talk about,
Speaker 2: or was it something where you know, you just never
Speaker 2: talked about money in general. I don't know how did
Speaker 2: that come to be the situation in your family.
Speaker 3: I think it was a mixture of my parents and
Speaker 3: their backgrounds. I come from a second generation immigrants family,
Speaker 3: and I think there was this I don't know how
Speaker 3: it's called, like you'd have the evil eye on you
Speaker 3: if you talked about money. That stigma And I did
Speaker 3: ask one day how much does Daddy make?
Speaker 2: And I was told, no, that is so rude. Money diarist,
Speaker 2: you can't believe you'd even try. So growing up you
Speaker 2: said that you didn't have a lot of financial literacy,
Speaker 2: and then you got to a point where you had
Speaker 2: some money put aside. How did that come to be?
Speaker 2: Like did you just know that you needed it? Did
Speaker 2: you get to a point where you know you felt,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I never have any cash? Like where
Speaker 2: were we? How did that work?
Speaker 3: It was basically that. So I left that relationship, moved
Speaker 3: back home, so I had the opportunity to save a
Speaker 3: little bit more, and I just started making small goals.
Speaker 3: So at first it was, Okay, I'm going to get
Speaker 3: this promotion, and with the extra money, the difference between
Speaker 3: my salary and the new salary that I was getting,
Speaker 3: I put that away into a little fund and maybe
Speaker 3: at the end of my contract, I'll go on a
Speaker 3: nice holiday or something. I didn't end up going on
Speaker 3: that holiday because I got promoted again, and it's just
Speaker 3: this job hopping since then, and I've always just put
Speaker 3: money away and aside. I got married last year.
Speaker 2: Congratulations, congratulations, say congratulations to you do. Yeah we have
Speaker 2: matching wedding years.
Speaker 3: Yes we do. And I was putting money away for
Speaker 3: that anyway. So I use your trick and I read
Speaker 3: it from your book where you have the different accounts
Speaker 3: for different.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.
Speaker 3: So I had a little emergency fund and then my
Speaker 3: wedding and honeymoon fund and it just was automated and
Speaker 3: flowed through there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that makes absolute sense. I want to ask
Speaker 2: a little bit more about the mental health side of things,
Speaker 2: but we might come back to that, because right now
Speaker 2: I want to know because you keep saying, oh, I
Speaker 2: got a promotion, I did this. Oh don't know. How
Speaker 2: much money do you earn? And what do you do
Speaker 2: for work?
Speaker 3: So I work in the tertiary education sector and currently
Speaker 3: I own about one hundred and forty thousand a year.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that is a very good innings. And
Speaker 2: to give us a little bit of context, how old
Speaker 2: are you, money, diarist?
Speaker 3: I am? I have to look at the date thirty two?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Why is it like that. The other
Speaker 2: day somebody asked me how old I was and I
Speaker 2: told them I was thirty and I am not. I'm
Speaker 2: thirty one and my next birthday is thirty two. So
Speaker 2: I've been thirty one for a while. And am I
Speaker 2: now at the age where I'm lying about my age.
Speaker 3: No, it's because we skipped two years because of COVID.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. I didn't even have a thirtieth birthday,
Speaker 2: so in my head, I'm still twenty nine. This is great,
Speaker 2: this is great. I'm going with that. So you earn
Speaker 2: one hundred and forty thousand dollars a year. What were
Speaker 2: your salaries before that? So you said before something along
Speaker 2: the lines, I'm like, I worked at McDonald's for my
Speaker 2: seven dollars an hour. How do we go from earning
Speaker 2: seven dollars an hour at McDonald's all the way up
Speaker 2: to one hundred and forty thousand dollars? Because that's that's
Speaker 2: a little bit of a jump, my friend.
Speaker 3: It's incremental. I was fourteen when I was earning seven
Speaker 3: dollars an hour, so it's been a good over a decade,
Speaker 3: over fifteen years. The salary that I was on when
Speaker 3: I left that relationship was about ninety okay, I think,
Speaker 3: and just from there, I've just applied for promotions and
Speaker 3: incrementally just gone up.
Speaker 2: Wow. So ninety thousand dollars as a salary when exiting
Speaker 2: a relationship, I'm going to assume puts you in an Okay,
Speaker 2: financial position to go. You know what, I don't want
Speaker 2: to be in this relationship anymore. Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 2: enough about your history, and we didn't jump into it
Speaker 2: a little bit here. What were your circumstances when you
Speaker 2: left that relationship, because I know it wasn't a good one,
Speaker 2: And how did finances and mental health play into that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the mental health aspect has always been there for me,
Speaker 3: So I've always struggled with mental health issues. We fought
Speaker 3: a lot about money, actually, and he was very secretive
Speaker 3: and closed off about his earnings and money and really
Speaker 3: maintained that I had to be independent and pay for
Speaker 3: my own stuff. Even when we were together for a
Speaker 3: few years. It wasn't my values. It wasn't the way
Speaker 3: I wanted to be in a relationship. Not saying he
Speaker 3: had to pay for me all the time, but it
Speaker 3: just it was very rigid and not collaborative. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 3: And so I guess we were living quite a expensive lifestyle.
Speaker 3: You know, the city that I live in is not cheap,
Speaker 3: and we were renting in quite an expensive suburb and
Speaker 3: going out all the time and buying you know, clothes
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so you said before that mental health was
Speaker 2: playing into that, and obviously the way that he was
Speaker 2: approaching money wasn't aligned to your values of wanting to
Speaker 2: be a bit more collaborative. What does that do to
Speaker 2: your mental health during that time, because I feel like
Speaker 2: that would weigh quite as somebody who also experiences mental
Speaker 2: health issues ongoing like that would play a lot into
Speaker 2: from my perspective, maybe my self confidence and my self worth.
Speaker 2: And how did that, I guess impact you personally, not
Speaker 2: what it would have done to me.
Speaker 3: It definitely impacted my confidence, my self esteem, my security
Speaker 3: in the relationship. It made me really insecure, sad, depressed.
Speaker 3: It didn't feel like it was a fair standing between us,
Speaker 3: and I think it just really dissolved my confidence in
Speaker 3: terms of our future together.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, and that's really common. I find it really interesting
Speaker 2: having these conversations because sometimes you'll talk to a couple,
Speaker 2: right and they'll say, no, we have completely separate funds
Speaker 2: and like we don't mix money at all, and you go, wow,
Speaker 2: I couldn't do that, but like good for you. Or
Speaker 2: maybe you talk to a couple and they go, yep,
Speaker 2: like absolutely everything is shared. We only have one bank
Speaker 2: account between the two of us, and that's what works
Speaker 2: for us, and you might flip around and go, wow,
Speaker 2: that wouldn't work for me. And I think that the
Speaker 2: thing that is consistent in those conversations is it seems
Speaker 2: that both parties in that relationship have the same value set,
Speaker 2: so they want to share their finances or they've come
Speaker 2: to the conclusion that separate finances works for them. But
Speaker 2: from your perspective or what I'm picking up on here
Speaker 2: is that it actually wasn't your values and you wanted
Speaker 2: to share and he was maybe being a little bit distant,
Speaker 2: which obviously is going to play into you feeling insecure
Speaker 2: and you're not feeling like you want to you know,
Speaker 2: you're not feeling that committed in the relationship, which makes
Speaker 2: you not feel like a good person. So how did
Speaker 2: you come to the conclusion that, all right, well, our
Speaker 2: values are not the same. This is impacting me in
Speaker 2: a way that is irrepairable, and I don't want to
Speaker 2: be in this relationship anymore. How did you make that decision?
Speaker 2: Because just because you're in a bad relationship, it doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that you don't like the person anymore, Right, Like,
Speaker 2: at what point did you decide or right over and out?
Speaker 2: My friend yeah.
Speaker 3: I think it was the point where we were no
Speaker 3: longer communicating civilly about it, and it was the point
Speaker 3: where there was no compromise whatsoever. When I wanted to
Speaker 3: talk about our future and possibly having a joint fund
Speaker 3: to pay for joint bills or joint groceries and that
Speaker 3: kind of stuff, it was not on. It was absolutely
Speaker 3: shut down, and I just I didn't want to be
Speaker 3: in a relationship with someone who didn't value my opinion,
Speaker 3: or respect my opinion, or even want to work with
Speaker 3: me on it anymore. So I think that was, amongst
Speaker 3: other things, obviously, but that was one of the tipping points.
Speaker 2: I think it makes my heart really happy to hear
Speaker 2: you say like, no, I don't want to be in
Speaker 2: a relationship with someone who doesn't have the same values
Speaker 2: as me, and that to me is really important. But
Speaker 2: I want to know talk me through what happened when
Speaker 2: you did move out. You moved back in with your parents, obviously,
Speaker 2: like if you've been in a relationship with somebody moving
Speaker 2: back in with your parents and feel like a step backwards,
Speaker 2: talk me through that process and how you felt. I
Speaker 2: know you said you saved money, but it doesn't always
Speaker 2: mean you were super happy to be there.
Speaker 3: Right, No, I mean I love my parents.
Speaker 2: I adore my parents that too, adore them like love
Speaker 2: spending time with them. Should I move back in with them?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I felt a bit defeated about it, but I
Speaker 3: gave myself a goal. I said, look, I'll move back home,
Speaker 3: I'll save some money, I'll go on a nice trip,
Speaker 3: and then I can think about moving out with a
Speaker 3: friend maybe in the next year or so. So I
Speaker 3: had something in my future that I was looking forward
Speaker 3: to and I never ended up doing that because I
Speaker 3: met my husband, my future husband to be back then
Speaker 3: things moved pretty fast with him, I will say, just
Speaker 3: because we were so aligned, like we have the same
Speaker 3: money like thoughts ethos in everything, not just financial.
Speaker 2: But we just clicked when you know you oh money, diarist,
Speaker 2: when you know exactly that was like Steve and I
Speaker 2: zero to five thousand overnight, basically when you know you
Speaker 2: know yeap. So I want to know you obviously saved
Speaker 2: and wanted to go on a trip, and then you
Speaker 2: met your partner, But what are your current big money goals,
Speaker 2: like what are we currently working towards? Because you got
Speaker 2: married last year and that's usually did a pretty big
Speaker 2: money goal to tick off the list.
Speaker 3: That was the money goal, the wedding and the extended honeymoon,
Speaker 3: which was also a big money.
Speaker 2: Chunk, money chunk. I like that, yep.
Speaker 3: But the next plan is I've got to it's to
Speaker 3: buy my own investment property because my husband had one
Speaker 3: prior to us getting married. So we're paying that off
Speaker 3: together to buy my own. And I want to set
Speaker 3: up investment accounts for my future children.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: I love this, so that.
Speaker 3: You know when they get to eighteen or whenever, they
Speaker 3: can either put down a deposit on a house or
Speaker 3: something or go for a nice big trip.
Speaker 2: I love this all right. So you want to invest
Speaker 2: for your children's future, But I want to know do
Speaker 2: you currently best for yourself? I do, yes, Tell me
Speaker 2: about it? How when and where? Why when did you start?
Speaker 3: I started when I started listening to you actually on
Speaker 3: this podcast. I have a six Park account, yes, created it,
Speaker 3: love and I have around as I checked this morning,
Speaker 3: twenty three thousand.
Speaker 2: Oh who are you? That is an epic amount to
Speaker 2: have invested. She's on the Money's podcasts only three How good?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love that? And do you have
Speaker 2: any other investments. You've got six park, but are you
Speaker 2: dabbling in anything else or talk to me about your Super.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've got one hundred and forty three two hundred
Speaker 3: and ninety four in my super.
Speaker 2: And you're thirty two and you've got one hundred and
Speaker 2: forty grand in super. That is epic. But also you
Speaker 2: did say you work in the touistiary sector, which means
Speaker 2: that you have a very very sexy superannuation guarantee, which
Speaker 2: is what is yours because.
Speaker 3: They very seventeen percent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you get seventeen percent super. That is very
Speaker 2: very nice. I'm very envy, so envioused that I have
Speaker 2: to go to a break to calm down, and then
Speaker 2: when we get back, I'm going to go through debt
Speaker 2: and talking about your best and worst habits and diving
Speaker 2: a little bit more into how you got through your
Speaker 2: mental health issues. Don't go anywhere, guys, All right, money, Darist.
Speaker 2: We are back and we have been talking literally everything
Speaker 2: from you getting married in twenty twenty two to mental
Speaker 2: health issues to you earning seventeen and a half percent Super,
Speaker 2: which is definitely big dog energy. I actually want to
Speaker 2: railroad this conversation slightly. How did you save up for
Speaker 2: your wedding, and what were your wedding values, Because I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm still in this bubble of really enjoying
Speaker 2: absorbing other people's wedding content and their budgets and how
Speaker 2: they did it. Talk to me about it. How long
Speaker 2: were you engaged? Like all of that information, I'm going
Speaker 2: to need it right now.
Speaker 3: So we got engaged at the end of twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: We were supposed to get married in twenty one, but
Speaker 3: COVID life, so we were engaged for two years. As
Speaker 3: soon as we got engaged, I cordoned off a little
Speaker 3: bank account and I just started throwing money into it.
Speaker 3: Sat down with my husband first and we worked out
Speaker 3: our maximum limit, and then I went away and organized.
Speaker 2: It all basically, so you were also the resident wedding planner.
Speaker 2: I like this.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: We did sit down and I said what's most important
Speaker 3: to you? And he said music and food? And I went, Okay,
Speaker 3: what's most important to me? Flowers and venue and dresses.
Speaker 3: And then we went and sourced proposals for those big
Speaker 3: ticket items and then came back together saw how much
Speaker 3: was left in our pot basically of our budget, and
Speaker 3: then did the.
Speaker 2: Rest yeah, airpic, Can I be really perfy and ask
Speaker 2: what your wedding cost?
Speaker 3: You know what? I don't know exactly?
Speaker 2: Neither do I. Neither do I because my head is
Speaker 2: buried in this. And let's call it an approximate amount,
Speaker 2: Like was it a five thousand dollar wedding? Was it
Speaker 2: a fifty thousand dollar wedding?
Speaker 3: My cap originally was about twenty five YEP. I think
Speaker 3: it probably creaked closer to thirty.
Speaker 2: Hey, I think that's still under the average for Australia.
Speaker 2: So you must have been a pretty good little wedding planner. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so I want to know how did you come to
Speaker 2: that budget of twenty five thousand dollars? Like you sat
Speaker 2: down with your husband and you just said, hey, I
Speaker 2: think twenty five grand is good. Or did you kind
Speaker 2: of do some research on what flowers and you know,
Speaker 2: the food and the music that was important to you
Speaker 2: was going to cost, and then work backwards, like how
Speaker 2: did you come up with the number, Because it's interesting
Speaker 2: how everybody comes up with them in a different way.
Speaker 3: I think I researched the venue first because I knew
Speaker 3: that was going to be the big ticket. Yeah, the
Speaker 3: most important and the most expensive I knew what the
Speaker 3: flowers would roughly cost and how much I was willing
Speaker 3: to give to Floweryeah. Fair, And then I kind of
Speaker 3: went to my husband said, this is what it's going
Speaker 3: to cost for these items. I think we should set
Speaker 3: X amount. And then he balked and was like no,
Speaker 3: And then I talked him through all of the life.
Speaker 2: I mean basically, yes, oh how interesting. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: The way that you're smiling when we talk about your
Speaker 2: husband means that I know you married the right person,
Speaker 2: which is really really sweet. But I want to go back.
Speaker 2: We were talking earlier about you know, we've put a
Speaker 2: trigger warning on this episode. We talked about you know,
Speaker 2: trauma and depression and eating disorders and all of those
Speaker 2: things like they just like it sounds awful, but they
Speaker 2: just don't leave you. Like, as somebody who has experienced
Speaker 2: in eating disorder and also has depression and is an
Speaker 2: on an ongoing management plan for depression, I'm assuming that
Speaker 2: you might be in a really similar position. Wedding planning
Speaker 2: can be stressful. How did all of this play into
Speaker 2: you know, your depression and the eating disorder you had
Speaker 2: and managing stressful situations? And now what I'm assuming is
Speaker 2: a relatively stressful job, Like you don't earn one hundred
Speaker 2: and forty thousand dollars and have no pre sure on you,
Speaker 2: so I talk me through. I guess how all of
Speaker 2: that plays into your money story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it wasn't so much the planning a
Speaker 3: wedding that was stressful, because I'm a good planner and
Speaker 3: I had it all done in a few weeks. Anyway.
Speaker 3: It was more so COVID coming in and disrupting my
Speaker 3: plans and when I wanted to get married and all
Speaker 3: of my other plans that I wanted to do after that.
Speaker 3: My job is also really stressful, and I think I
Speaker 3: just got into a spiral where everything fed off one
Speaker 3: another and I just broke down. And that's when I
Speaker 3: had to go into the psychiatric facility. And I was
Speaker 3: really grateful that I had some savings behind me so
Speaker 3: that I could one pay for the facility, pay for
Speaker 3: the health insurance to go into the facility, but also
Speaker 3: to be able to take some time off work as well.
Speaker 3: And I think that's really important that everybody has, you know,
Speaker 3: a little emergency fund or just a little bit of something,
Speaker 3: because you never know what's going to happen in life.
Speaker 3: In that year, I had deaths in the family, I
Speaker 3: had you know, as you say, wedding stress and trying
Speaker 3: to plan replan a postponed wedding. I have quite a
Speaker 3: very stressful job. I do like it, but it does
Speaker 3: play on my mental health especially, and it all just
Speaker 3: fed into one big depression monster and I needed to
Speaker 3: take some time off.
Speaker 2: How did you get to a point where you were
Speaker 2: happy to accept the help? So I feel like a
Speaker 2: lot of us get to this point of burnout and
Speaker 2: everything becomes all consuming and we bury our heads in
Speaker 2: the sand. But I feel like you've done it. We
Speaker 2: won't say the right way, but in a way that's
Speaker 2: put you in the best possible position to be your
Speaker 2: best self. And I think often psychiatric help and going
Speaker 2: especially into a psychiatric hospital often shrouded with you know,
Speaker 2: judgment and feeling like that's a level of defeat. And
Speaker 2: I don't believe that for a second. But how did
Speaker 2: you go? Do you know what? This is what I need?
Speaker 2: Because a lot of people that that is suggested to
Speaker 2: say oh, absolutely not, and they just continue struggling. On
Speaker 2: what point did you have to get to to go?
Speaker 3: Yep?
Speaker 2: That's absolutely what we need to do, and I'm really happy.
Speaker 3: To I got to a really low point. I was
Speaker 3: having suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts, and it was actually
Speaker 3: my husband and my psychologists, so my psychiatric team that said,
Speaker 3: think about yourself, think about your husband, and they really
Speaker 3: just talked me into it. I did need talking into it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that's what real support is often about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really me just opening my ears, if
Speaker 3: you will, yeah, and listening to the very heartfelt and
Speaker 3: sincere wishes of my family, my husband, and my friends
Speaker 3: to say it's okay to take a break.
Speaker 2: Take a break, one hundred percent it is. And I'm
Speaker 2: so glad that you were surrounded by that support during
Speaker 2: that period of time because it can be such a
Speaker 2: challenging thing. How was it coming out? How was it
Speaker 2: coming out and having to go back into real life,
Speaker 2: like get back into work and get back into life
Speaker 2: and you know, obviously finish the wedding planning, which you
Speaker 2: obviously have done. What was that transition?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: It was really weird, I will say, but it was
Speaker 3: really gentle and soft. I had really great friends and
Speaker 3: family and even my colleagues and my work was really supportive.
Speaker 3: So I'm really grateful that everybody was so understanding. It
Speaker 3: really made me rethink the stigma around mental health that
Speaker 3: I shouldn't be so ashamed. No feeling a lot of shame. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but everyone was just so understanding and empathetic and compassionate.
Speaker 3: It was It's really touching.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. I love that that's your experience
Speaker 2: of it, because I think if people are listening to
Speaker 2: this and they're just at that point, or maybe they
Speaker 2: don't have the support that you had, there's nothing to
Speaker 2: be worried about. In fact, you will find the support
Speaker 2: the more you seek it. And I feel like at
Speaker 2: times like that, you often don't want to put your
Speaker 2: hand up and say you're drowning, and a lot of
Speaker 2: people only say that they are drowning once they have
Speaker 2: pulled themselves out of the water. But you don't have to, like,
Speaker 2: we can actually all be in it together and be
Speaker 2: really supportive during a period of time like this, And
Speaker 2: I think that's one thing that I know this shouldn't
Speaker 2: come as a surprise, but it's really shocking to me,
Speaker 2: especially having been through mental health issues, how supportive people
Speaker 2: are when you go, oh, I'm just having a bit
Speaker 2: of a rough time and they go, oh, Victoria, well
Speaker 2: and you go, oh, that's not how I thought the
Speaker 2: conversation would go, because I think in that moment, you
Speaker 2: really feel like a burden and you're not. You're not
Speaker 2: a burden at all.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I feel the same way as you do. I'd
Speaker 3: say nine points nine times out of ten when I
Speaker 3: have a conversation with someone about mental health, they are
Speaker 3: understanding and they say, oh, me too, and then we
Speaker 3: just have that shared understanding. It's really great. It's only
Speaker 3: that point one point zero one percent where it goes.
Speaker 2: Hey wire, yeah, one hundred percent. All right. I want
Speaker 2: to get back on track or more on track with
Speaker 2: money diaries. So let's segue back into those structured questions.
Speaker 2: We haven't asked about debt. We've talked about investment, we've
Speaker 2: talked about your money goals. I want to know do
Speaker 2: you have any debt? If so, what is it.
Speaker 3: I don't myself, though my husband has a mortgage. It's
Speaker 3: our mortgage now, so we're paying that off, yep, for
Speaker 3: his property. But I don't have any other debts apart
Speaker 3: from that. I paid off my hex debt completely last year,
Speaker 3: which is really great, really freeing it's so freeing. It's
Speaker 3: nice to see my paypacket go up slightly and then
Speaker 3: be taken back for tax.
Speaker 2: But we won't talk about that part. At least you
Speaker 2: don't see some of it just going towards tex I
Speaker 2: totally get it. I totally get that, or I want
Speaker 2: to know of it. About your shopping habits as well,
Speaker 2: what do you think is your best money habit?
Speaker 3: I set up accounts for each of my goals and requirements.
Speaker 3: So I had my wedding and honeymoon fund, which I'm
Speaker 3: now converting into investment property fund, bills spending an emergency,
Speaker 3: and once I put those automatically into their I lock
Speaker 3: them away like I don't dip back into them. And
Speaker 3: when I am feeling particularly impulsive, which I was during
Speaker 3: when my mental health was at its worst, because I
Speaker 3: was just using that crutch, you know, shopping to make
Speaker 3: myself feel better, I would give all of my accounts
Speaker 3: to my husband and be like, don't give me any money.
Speaker 2: I love that. That's a very good level of self awareness.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'd be like, Oh, I'm feeling spendy today, can you.
Speaker 2: Just take just hide my money for right now?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Love?
Speaker 2: Would you say that's your worst money habit, If not,
Speaker 2: what is it?
Speaker 3: That's probably my worst money habit is the impulsive shopping.
Speaker 2: But I feel like you're self aware of that in
Speaker 2: that you literally have strategies to make sure that that's
Speaker 2: not happening. How good is that? Yes, it is.
Speaker 3: I should give myself props for that.
Speaker 2: I'm going to give you props for that. I really
Speaker 2: really like that You're like, all right, well, if I'm
Speaker 2: feeling a bit spendy, this is what I do instead
Speaker 2: of just going, yeah, I get really spendy and I
Speaker 2: don't have a strategy to deal with this. Like that
Speaker 2: is very not head in the sand behavior. We like
Speaker 2: to see that over it cheese on the money. I'm
Speaker 2: going to wrap this up because I am very aware
Speaker 2: that I have been talking to you for a long
Speaker 2: time and I'm so so grateful of it. But at
Speaker 2: the very start of the episode, I asked you to
Speaker 2: grade yourself and your money habits, and you gave me
Speaker 2: a C plus. And throughout this money diary, you've told
Speaker 2: me a lot about your investment and your savings and
Speaker 2: how you paid for your wedding and how you're saving
Speaker 2: for an investment, and you have a banking and cash
Speaker 2: flow plan, and that you know, obviously you're quite self
Speaker 2: aware when it comes to spending. Do you still think
Speaker 2: you're a C plus?
Speaker 3: Probably not.
Speaker 2: What would you give your spending habits if we now
Speaker 2: asked you to give yourself a grade.
Speaker 3: I'd say we're creeping up to B plus.
Speaker 2: I like this. I like this a lot, and do
Speaker 2: you know what it shows me? It shows me that
Speaker 2: the more money conversations we have, the more likely we
Speaker 2: are to be kind on ourselves when it comes to
Speaker 2: money habits. So this has been good. This has been
Speaker 2: really good money diarist. Thank you so much for joining
Speaker 2: us for a money diary. I feel like I've learned
Speaker 2: a lot. I also feel like I've related a lot
Speaker 2: to a lot of your story, So thank you for
Speaker 2: joining us. I know that this is going to go
Speaker 2: down so well in the community.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: Of course, all right, guys, we will see you on Wednesday.
Speaker 2: The advice shared on Cheese on the Money is general
Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
Speaker 2: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
Speaker 2: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
Speaker 2: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
Speaker 2: your needs. Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are
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