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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr the

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Speaker 2: Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we

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Speaker 2: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would

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Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of

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Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging

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Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through

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Speaker 2: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and

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Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today

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Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 1: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 1: one of our money diaries when we talk with one

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Speaker 1: of our incredible She's on the Money community members all

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Speaker 1: about their journey. Let's jump straight into this one. We

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Speaker 1: got a message this week and it went a little

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Speaker 1: like this. Hi, She's on the Money. I'd love to

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Speaker 1: share my money story that's interwoven with mental health struggles.

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Speaker 1: I've recently been released from a psychiatric hospital stay, was

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Speaker 1: married at the end of last year and have returned

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Speaker 1: from an extended honeymoon and work break. I used to

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Speaker 1: live week to week and was in a bad relationship,

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Speaker 1: but got out and saved my money. Life is a

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Speaker 1: roller coaster and have recently experienced mental health battles and

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Speaker 1: how money interplays into this Money Diarist. I feel like

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Speaker 1: this is going to be a roller coaster, as you say,

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Speaker 1: but also really relatable. Thank you, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Before we start, I do just want to give our

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Speaker 1: friends who were listening a little bit of a content

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Speaker 1: warning that this Money Diary does contain conversation about trauma, depression,

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Speaker 1: and eating disorders. So if that is something that you

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Speaker 1: are not ready to hear right now, or it's not

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Speaker 1: the day for it today, we have a million other

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Speaker 1: podcasts you can go and listen to and we will

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Speaker 1: see you on another day. But content warning aside. Money Diarist.

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Speaker 1: I'm very excited to have you on the show today.

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Speaker 4: Thank you me too. I'm excited to be here.

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Speaker 1: Oh how good? All right, we're mixing things up this year,

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Speaker 1: and I'm actually starting with our last question. So, Money Direst,

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Speaker 1: do you mind if we dive straight into asking the

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Speaker 1: big hitting questions. Yes, let's go let's go all right,

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Speaker 1: money Dorus, I want to know, because we're mixing it

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Speaker 1: up this year, what grade would you give you money

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Speaker 1: habits if we asked you to give yourself a grade

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Speaker 1: from A to F.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I think a C plus, a C plus maybe

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Speaker 4: diving into a B minus.

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Speaker 1: Oh. I'm interested to hear more about that. So as

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Speaker 1: always my favorite. Now second question is I want to

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Speaker 1: know a little bit more about your money story and

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Speaker 1: your attitude towards money.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so it has changed a lot over the past

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Speaker 4: few years. Growing up in my family, we were told

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Speaker 4: never to talk about salary, don't talk about people's money situation.

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Speaker 4: It was just taboo. It was bad vibes to talk

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Speaker 4: about money, and so I had no financial literacy. We

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Speaker 4: were comfortable, but we weren't living luxuriously. We didn't go overseas.

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Speaker 4: We skimped on food and clothes sometimes. You know, my

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Speaker 4: parents worked really hard to pay off their mortgage, pay

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Speaker 4: our school fees, build a new house for us. But

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Speaker 4: it definitely we weren't living large, that's for sure. So

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Speaker 4: my attitude was when I was fourteen and got my

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Speaker 4: slip signed off by my parents, I got out, got

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Speaker 4: a job and just you know, wanted my own money,

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Speaker 4: and I wanted to buy my own clothes, and so

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Speaker 4: I've been a spender ever since.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's relatable for everybody who's grown up

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Speaker 1: in a similar circumstance. I feel like it goes from

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Speaker 1: one end to the spectrum to the other. Like if

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Speaker 1: you grew up and it was scrimping and saving and

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Speaker 1: you genuinely felt like you were missing out, Sometimes you

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Speaker 1: end up going all the way to the other end.

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Speaker 1: You're like, I'm just going to spend. I don't even care.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about budget because maybe you

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Speaker 1: don't know enough about it yet. But you just go

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Speaker 1: straight to the other end and you just spend, spend, spend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll take my seven dollars from Macers and I'll

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Speaker 4: go buy a new top. That's what I want. And

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Speaker 4: I always strived for a higher salary because I've just

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Speaker 4: wanted more and more clothes basically. But it really changed

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Speaker 4: when I left a relationship several years ago and realized

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Speaker 4: I didn't have much to my name. Actually, despite earning

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Speaker 4: okay money, I was leaving week to week I didn't

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Speaker 4: have anything to show for it. And when I went

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Speaker 4: through my mental health crisis and it got really bad.

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Speaker 4: I was really lucky that I had changed my ways

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Speaker 4: and I did have some money put aside for that.

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Speaker 1: Oh smart. So despite what you said before, so you

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Speaker 1: said that you grew up and you didn't really get

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Speaker 1: a financial education, you didn't have much financial literacy because

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Speaker 1: it was taboo to talk about money. I want to

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Speaker 1: dive a little bit deeper into that because I feel

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Speaker 1: like that is really relatable. When you say it was

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Speaker 1: taboo to talk about money. Is that because you brought

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Speaker 1: it up one time and got shut down or was

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Speaker 1: it just something that you inherently knew you shouldn't talk about,

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Speaker 1: or was it something where you know, you just never

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Speaker 1: talked about money in general. I don't know how did

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Speaker 1: that come to be the situation in your family.

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Speaker 4: I think it was a mixture of my parents and

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Speaker 4: their backgrounds. I come from a second generation immigrant family,

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Speaker 4: and I think there was this I don't know how

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Speaker 4: it's called, like you'd have the evil eye on you

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Speaker 4: if you talked about money. That stigma And I did

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Speaker 4: ask one day how much does Daddy make?

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Speaker 1: And I was told no, that is so rude. Money diarist,

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Speaker 1: you can't believe you'd even try. So growing up you

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Speaker 1: said that you didn't have a lot of financial literacy,

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Speaker 1: and then you got to a point where you had

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Speaker 1: some money put aside. How did that come to be? Like,

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Speaker 1: did you just know that you needed it? Did you

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Speaker 1: get to a point where you know you felt, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, I never have any cash? Like where were we?

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Speaker 1: How did that work?

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Speaker 4: It was basically that. So I left that relationship, moved

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Speaker 4: back home, so I had the opportunity to save a

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Speaker 4: little bit more, and I just started making small goals.

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Speaker 4: So at first it was, Okay, I'm going to get

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Speaker 4: this promotion, and with the extra money, the difference between

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Speaker 4: my salary and the new salary that I was getting,

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Speaker 4: I put that away into a little fund and maybe

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Speaker 4: at the end of my contract, I'll go on a

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Speaker 4: nice holiday or something. I didn't end up going on

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Speaker 4: that holiday because I got promoted again, and it's just

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Speaker 4: this job hopping since then, and I've always just put

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Speaker 4: money away and aside. I got married last year.

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Speaker 1: Congratulations, congratulations, say congratulations to you do. Yeah we have

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Speaker 1: matching wedding years.

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Speaker 4: Yes we do. And I was putting money away for

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Speaker 4: that anyway. So I use your trick and I read

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Speaker 4: it from your book where you have the different accounts

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Speaker 4: for different.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

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Speaker 4: So I had a little emergency fund and then my

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Speaker 4: wedding and honeymoon fund and it just was automated and

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Speaker 4: flowed through there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah no, that makes absolute sense. I want to ask

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Speaker 1: a little bit more about the mental health side of things,

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Speaker 1: but we might come back to that, because right now

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Speaker 1: I want to know because you keep saying, oh, I

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Speaker 1: got a promotion, I did this. Oh don't know. How

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Speaker 1: much money do you earn? And what do you do

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Speaker 1: for work?

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Speaker 4: So I work in the tertiary education sector and currently

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Speaker 4: I own about one hundred and forty thousand a year.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that is a very good innings. And

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Speaker 1: to give us a little bit of context, how old

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Speaker 1: you money, diarist?

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Speaker 4: I am? I have to look at the date thirty two?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Why is it like that? The other

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Speaker 1: day somebody asked me how old I was and I

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Speaker 1: told them I was thirty and I am not. I'm

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Speaker 1: thirty one and my next birthday is thirty two. So

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Speaker 1: I've been thirty one for a while. And am I

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Speaker 1: now at the age where I'm lying about my age.

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Speaker 4: No, it's because we skipped two years because of COVID.

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Speaker 1: That's a good point. I didn't even have a thirtieth birthday,

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Speaker 1: so in my head, I'm still twenty nine. This is great,

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Speaker 1: this is great. I'm going with that. So you earn

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Speaker 1: one hundred and forty thousand dollars a year. What were

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Speaker 1: your salaries before that? So you said before something along

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Speaker 1: the lines, I'm like, I worked at McDonald's for my

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Speaker 1: seven dollars an hour. How do we go from earning

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Speaker 1: seven dollars an hour at McDonald's all the way up

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Speaker 1: to one hundred and forty thousand dollars? Because that's that's

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a jump, my friend.

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Speaker 4: It's incremental. I was fourteen when I was earning seven

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Speaker 4: dollars an hour, so it's been a good over a decade,

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Speaker 4: over fifteen years. The salary that I was on when

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Speaker 4: I left that relationship was about ninety okay, I think,

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Speaker 4: and just from there I've just applied for promotions and

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Speaker 4: incrementally just gone up.

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Speaker 1: Wow. So ninety thousand dollars as a salary when exiting

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Speaker 1: a relationship, I'm going to assume puts you in an

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Speaker 1: okay financial position.

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Speaker 4: To go.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I don't want to be in this

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Speaker 1: relationship anymore. Yeah, I don't know enough about your history,

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Speaker 1: and we didn't jump into it a little bit here.

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Speaker 1: What were your circumstances when you left that relationship, because

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Speaker 1: I know it wasn't a good one, And how did

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Speaker 1: finances and mental health play into that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the mental health aspect has always been there for me,

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Speaker 4: So I've always struggled with mental health issues. We fought

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Speaker 4: a lot about money, actually, and he was very secretive

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Speaker 4: and closed off about his earnings and money and really

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Speaker 4: maintained that I had to be independent and pay for

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Speaker 4: my own stuff. Even when we were together for a

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Speaker 4: few years. It wasn't my values. It wasn't the way

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Speaker 4: I wanted to be in a relationship. Not saying he

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Speaker 4: had to pay for me all the time, but it

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Speaker 4: just it was very rigid and not collaborative. Yeah, okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: And so I guess we were living quite a expensive lifestyle.

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Speaker 4: You know, the city that I live in is not cheap,

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Speaker 4: and we were renting in quite an expensive suburb and

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Speaker 4: going out all the time and buying you know, clothes

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Speaker 4: and stuff.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, so you said before that mental health was

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Speaker 1: playing into that, and obviously the way that he was

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Speaker 1: approaching money wasn't aligned to your values of wanting to

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Speaker 1: be a bit more collaborative. What does that do to

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Speaker 1: your mental health during that time, because I feel like

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Speaker 1: that would weigh quite as somebody who also experiences mental

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Speaker 1: health issues ongoing, like that would play a lot into

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Speaker 1: from my perspective, maybe my self confidence and my self worth.

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Speaker 1: And how did that, I guess impact you personally, not

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Speaker 1: what it would have done to me.

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Speaker 4: It definitely impacted my confidence, my self esteem, my security

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Speaker 4: in the relationship. It made me really insecure, sad, depressed.

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Speaker 4: It didn't feel like it was a fair standing between us,

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Speaker 4: and I think it just really dissolved my confidence in

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Speaker 4: terms of our future together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, And that's really common. I find it really interesting

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Speaker 1: having these conversations because sometimes you'll talk to a couple,

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Speaker 1: right and they'll say, no, we have completely separate funds

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Speaker 1: and like we don't mix money at all, and you go, wow,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do that, but like good for you. Or

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Speaker 1: maybe you talk to a couple and they go, yep,

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Speaker 1: like absolutely everything is shared. We only have one bank

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Speaker 1: account between the two of us, and that's what works

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Speaker 1: for us, and you might flip around and go, Wow,

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Speaker 1: that wouldn't work for me. And I think that the

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Speaker 1: thing that is consistent in those conversations is it seems

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Speaker 1: that both parties in that relationship have the same value set,

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Speaker 1: so they want to share their finances or they've come

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Speaker 1: to the conclusion that separate finances works for them. But

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Speaker 1: from your perspective or what I'm picking up on here

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Speaker 1: is that it actually wasn't your values and you wanted

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Speaker 1: to share and he was maybe being a little bit distant,

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Speaker 1: which obviously is going to play into you feeling insecure

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Speaker 1: and you're not feeling like you want to you know,

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Speaker 1: you're not feeling that committed in the relationship, which makes

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Speaker 1: you not feel like a good person. So how did

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Speaker 1: you come to the conclusion that, all right, well, our

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Speaker 1: values are not the same. This is impacting me in

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Speaker 1: a way that is irrepairable, and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be in this relationship anymore. How did you make that decision?

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Speaker 1: Because just because you're in a bad relationship, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that you don't like the person anymore, Right, Like,

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Speaker 1: at what point did you decide or right over and out?

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Speaker 1: My friend?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it was the point where we were

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Speaker 4: no longer communicating civilly about it, and it was the

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Speaker 4: point where there was no compromise whatsoever. When I wanted

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Speaker 4: to talk about our future and possibly having a joint

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Speaker 4: fund to pay for joint bills or joint groceries and

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Speaker 4: that kind of stuff, it was not on. It was

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Speaker 4: absolutely shut down, And I just I didn't want to

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Speaker 4: be in a relationship with someone who didn't value my opinion,

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Speaker 4: or respect my opinion, or even want to work with

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Speaker 4: me on it anymore. So I think that was, amongst

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Speaker 4: other things, obviously, but that was one of the tipping points.

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Speaker 1: I think it makes my heart really happy to hear

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Speaker 1: you say like, no, I don't want to be in

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Speaker 1: a relationship with someone who doesn't have the same values

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Speaker 1: as me, and that to me is really important. But

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Speaker 1: I want to know talk me through what happened when

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Speaker 1: you did move out. You moved back in with your parents, obviously,

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Speaker 1: Like if you've been in a relationship with somebody moving

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Speaker 1: back in with your parents and feel like a step backwards,

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Speaker 1: talk me through that process and how you felt. I

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Speaker 1: know you said you saved money, but it doesn't always

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Speaker 1: mean you were super happy to be there.

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Speaker 4: Right, No, I mean I love my parents.

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Speaker 1: I adore my parents too, adore them like love spending

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Speaker 1: time with them. Should I move back in with them?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I felt a bit defeated about it, but I

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Speaker 4: gave myself a goal. I said, look, I'll move back home,

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Speaker 4: I'll save some money, I'll go on a nice trip,

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Speaker 4: and then I can think about moving out with a

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Speaker 4: friend maybe in the next year or so. So I

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Speaker 4: had something in my future that I was looking forward to,

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Speaker 4: and I never ended up doing that because I met

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Speaker 4: my husband, my future husband to be back then. Things

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Speaker 4: moved pretty fast with him, I will say, just because

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Speaker 4: we were so aligned, like we have the same money,

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Speaker 4: like thoughts ethos in everything, not just financial.

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Speaker 1: But we just clicked when you know you oh money, diarist,

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Speaker 1: when you know exactly that was like Steve and I

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Speaker 1: zero to five thousand overnight, basically when you know you

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Speaker 1: know yeap. So I want to know you obviously saved

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Speaker 1: and wanted to go on a trip, and then you

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Speaker 1: met your partner. But what are your current big money goals,

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Speaker 1: like what are we currently working towards? Because you got

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Speaker 1: married last year and that's usually did a pretty big

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Speaker 1: money goal to tick off the list.

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Speaker 4: That was the money goal, the wedding and the extended honeymoon,

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Speaker 4: which was also a big money.

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Speaker 1: Chunk, money chunk.

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Speaker 4: I like that, yep. But the next plan is I've

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Speaker 4: got to it's to buy my own investment property because

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Speaker 4: my husband had one prior to us getting married. So

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Speaker 4: we're paying that off together to buy my own. And

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Speaker 4: I want to set up investment accounts for my future children.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: I love this, so that.

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Speaker 4: You know when they get to eighteen or whenever, they

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Speaker 4: can either put down a deposit on a house or

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Speaker 4: something or go for a nice big trip.

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Speaker 1: I love this all right. So you want to invest

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Speaker 1: for your children's future, But I want to know do

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Speaker 1: you currently best for yourself? I do, yes, tell me

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Speaker 1: about it? How when and where?

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Speaker 2: Why?

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Speaker 1: When did you start?

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Speaker 4: I started when I started listening to you actually on

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Speaker 4: this podcast. I have a six park account, yes, created it,

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Speaker 4: love and I have around as I checked this morning,

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Speaker 4: twenty three thousand.

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Speaker 1: Oh who are you? That is an epic amount to

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Speaker 1: have invested. She's on the Money's podcasts only three How good?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love that. And do you have

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Speaker 1: any other investments You've got six park. But are you

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Speaker 1: dabbling in anything else or talk to me about your Super.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I've got one hundred and forty three two hundred

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Speaker 4: and ninety four in my super.

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Speaker 1: And you're thirty two and you've got one hundred and

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Speaker 1: forty grand in super. That is epic. But also you

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Speaker 1: did say you work in the touistiary sector, which means

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Speaker 1: that you have a very very sexy superannuation guarantee, which

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Speaker 1: is what is yours because.

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Speaker 4: They very seventeen percent.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you get seventeen percent super. That is very

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Speaker 1: very nice. I'm very envy, so envioused that i have

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Speaker 1: to go to a break to calm down, and then

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Speaker 1: when we get back, I'm going to go through debt

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Speaker 1: and talking about your best and worst habits and diving

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Speaker 1: a little bit more into how you got through your

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Speaker 1: mental health issues. Don't go anywhere, guys, All right, money Darist.

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Speaker 1: We are back and we have been talking literally everything

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Speaker 1: from you getting married in twenty twenty two to mental

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Speaker 1: health issues to you earning seventeen and a half percent Super,

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Speaker 1: which is definitely big dog energy. I actually want to

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Speaker 1: railroad this conversation slightly. How did you save up for

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Speaker 1: your wedding and what were your wedding values, because I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm still in this bubble of really enjoying

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Speaker 1: absorbing other people's wedding content and their budgets and how

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Speaker 1: they did it. Talk to me about it. How long

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Speaker 1: were you engaged? Like all of that information, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to need it right now.

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Speaker 4: So we got engaged at the end of twenty twenty.

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Speaker 4: We were supposed to get married in twenty one, but

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Speaker 4: COVID life, so we were engaged for two years. As

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Speaker 4: soon as we got engaged, I cordoned off a little

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Speaker 4: bank account and I just started throwing money into it.

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Speaker 4: Sat down with my husband first and we worked out

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Speaker 4: our maximum limit, and then I went away and organized.

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Speaker 1: It all basically, so you were also the resident wedding planner.

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Speaker 1: I like this.

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Speaker 4: I was.

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 4: We did sit down and I said what's most important

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Speaker 4: to you? And he said music and food? And I went, Okay,

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Speaker 4: what's most important to me? Flowers and venue and dresses.

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Speaker 4: And then we went and sourced proposals for those big

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Speaker 4: ticket items and then came back together saw how much

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Speaker 4: was left in our pot basically of our budget, and

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Speaker 4: then did the rest.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, airpic can I be really perfy and ask what

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Speaker 1: your wedding cost?

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Speaker 4: You know what, I don't know exactly neither do I.

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Speaker 1: Neither do I because my head is buried in this.

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Speaker 1: And let's call it an approximate amount, Like was it

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Speaker 1: a five thousand dollar wedding? Was it a fifty thousand

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Speaker 1: dollar wedding?

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Speaker 4: My cap originally was about twenty five YEP. I think

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Speaker 4: it probably creaked closer to thirty.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I think that's still under the average for Australia.

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Speaker 1: So you must have been a pretty good little wedding planner. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I want to know how did you come to

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Speaker 1: that budget of twenty five thousand dollars, Like you sat

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Speaker 1: down with your husband and you just said, hey, I

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Speaker 1: think twenty five grand is good. Or did you kind

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Speaker 1: of do some research on flowers and you know, the

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Speaker 1: food and the music that was important to you was

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Speaker 1: going to cost, and then work backwards, like how did

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Speaker 1: you come up with the number? Because it's interesting how

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Speaker 1: everybody comes up with them in a different way.

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Speaker 4: I think I researched the venue first because I knew

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Speaker 4: that was going to be the big ticket, Yeah, the

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Speaker 4: most important and the most expensive. I knew what the

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Speaker 4: flowers would roughly cost and how much I was willing to.

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Speaker 1: Give to flower Fair.

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Speaker 4: And then I kind of went to my husband said

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Speaker 4: this is what it's going to cost for these items.

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Speaker 4: I think we should set X amount And then he

391
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Speaker 4: balked and was like no, And then I talked him

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Speaker 4: through all of the life.

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Speaker 1: I mean basically, yes, oh how interesting. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: The way that you're smiling when we talk about your

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Speaker 1: husband means that I know you married the right person,

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Speaker 1: which is really really sweet. But I want to go back.

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Speaker 1: We were talking earlier about you know, we've put a

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Speaker 1: trigger warning on this episode. We talked about you know,

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Speaker 1: trauma and depression and eating disorders and all of those

400
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Speaker 1: things like they just like it sounds awful, but they

401
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,360
Speaker 1: just don't leave you. Like, as somebody who has experienced

402
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: in eating disorder and also has depression and is an

403
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,199
Speaker 1: on an ongoing management plan for depression, I'm assuming that

404
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 1: you might be in a really similar position. Wedding planning

405
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Speaker 1: can be stressful. How did all of this play into

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Speaker 1: you know, your depression and the eating disorder you had

407
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Speaker 1: and managing stressful situations? And now what I'm assuming is

408
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 1: a relatively stressful job, like, you don't earn one hundred

409
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 1: and forty thousand dollars and have no press sure on you,

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Speaker 1: So I talk me through. I guess how all of

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Speaker 1: that plays into your money story.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it wasn't so much the planning a

413
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Speaker 4: wedding that was stressful, because I'm a good planner and

414
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Speaker 4: I had it all done in a few weeks. Anyway.

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Speaker 4: It was more so COVID coming in and disrupting my

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Speaker 4: plans and when I wanted to get married and all

417
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Speaker 4: of my other plans that I wanted to do after that.

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Speaker 4: My job is also really stressful, and I think I

419
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Speaker 4: just got into a spiral where everything fed off one

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Speaker 4: another and I just broke down. And that's when I

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Speaker 4: had to go into the psychiatric facility. And I was

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Speaker 4: really grateful that I had some savings behind me so

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Speaker 4: that I could one pay for the facility, pay for

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00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 4: the health insurance to go into the facility, but also

425
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Speaker 4: to be able to take some time off work as well.

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Speaker 4: And I think that's really important that everybody has, you know,

427
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 4: a little emergency fund or just a little bit of something,

428
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Speaker 4: because you never know what's going to happen in life

429
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Speaker 4: in that year I had deaths in the family. I had,

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Speaker 4: you know, as you say, wedding stress and trying to

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Speaker 4: plan replan a postponed wedding. I have quite a very

432
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Speaker 4: stressful job. I do like it, but it does play

433
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Speaker 4: on my mental health especially, and it all just fed

434
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Speaker 4: into one big depression monster and I needed to take

435
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Speaker 4: some time off.

436
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Speaker 1: How did you get to a point where you were

437
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Speaker 1: happy to accept the help? So I feel like a

438
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Speaker 1: lot of us get to this point of burnout and

439
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 1: everything becomes all consuming and we bury our heads in

440
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 1: the sand. But I feel like you've done it. We

441
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 1: won't say the right way, but in a way that's

442
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: put you in the best possible position to be your

443
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: best self. And I think often psychiatric help and going

444
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: especially into a psychiatric hospital often shrouded with you know,

445
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 1: judgment and feeling like that's a level of defeat. And

446
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 1: I don't believe that for a second. But how did

447
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 1: you go? Do you know what? This is what I need?

448
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 1: Because a lot of people that that is suggested to

449
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 1: say oh, absolutely not, and they just continue struggling on

450
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: what point did you have to get to to go Yep,

451
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: that's absolutely what we need to do, And I'm really happy.

452
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 4: To I got to a really low point. I was

453
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 4: having suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts, and it was actually

454
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 4: my husband and my psychologists, So my psychiatric team that

455
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 4: said think about yourself, think about your husband, and they

456
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 4: really just talked me into it. I did need talking

457
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 4: into it.

458
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that's what real support is often about.

459
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really me just opening my ears, if

460
00:23:54,000 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 4: you will, yeah, and listening to the very heartfelt and

461
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 4: sincere wishes of my family, my husband, and my friends

462
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 4: to say it's okay to take a break.

463
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: Take a break, one hundred percent it is. And I'm

464
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: so glad that you were surrounded by that support during

465
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 1: that period of time because it can be such a

466
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: challenging thing. How was it coming out? How was it

467
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 1: coming out and having to go back into real life,

468
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 1: like get back into work and get back into life

469
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: and you know, obviously finish the wedding planning, which you

470
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: obviously have done. What was that transition?

471
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 2: Like?

472
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 4: It was really weird, I will say, but it was

473
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: really gentle and soft. I had really great friends and

474
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 4: family and even my colleagues and my work was really supportive.

475
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 4: So I'm really grateful that everybody was so understanding. It

476
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 4: really made me rethink the stigma around mental health that

477
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 4: I shouldn't be so ashamed. No feeling a lot of shame, yeah,

478
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 4: but everyone was just so understanding and empathetic and compassionate.

479
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 4: It was It's really touching.

480
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. I love that that's your experience

481
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,959
Speaker 1: of it, because I think if people are listening to

482
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: this and they're just at that point, or maybe they

483
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: don't have the support that you had, there's nothing to

484
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: be worried about. In fact, you will find the support

485
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: the more you seek it. And I feel like at

486
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: times like that, you often don't want to put your

487
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: hand up and say you're drowning, and a lot of

488
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 1: people only say that they are drowning once they have

489
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: pulled themselves out of the water. But you don't have to, like,

490
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 1: we can actually all be in it together and be

491
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: really supportive during a period of time like this, And

492
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: I think that's one thing that I know this shouldn't

493
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 1: come as a surprise, but it's really shocking to me,

494
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: especially having been through mental health issues, how supportive people

495
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: are when you go, oh, I'm just having a bit

496
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: of a rough time, and they go, oh, Victoria well,

497
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 1: and you go, oh, that's not how I thought the

498
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,919
Speaker 1: conversation would go, because I think in that moment, you

499
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: really feel like a burden and you're not. You're not

500
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: a burden at all.

501
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I feel the same way as you do. I'd

502
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 4: say nine points nine times out of ten when I

503
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 4: have a conversation with someone about mental health, they are

504
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 4: understanding and they say, oh, me too, and then we

505
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 4: just have that shared understanding. It's really great. It's only

506
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 4: that point one point zero one percent where it goes.

507
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: Hey, wi, yeah, one hundred percent. All right. I want

508
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: to get back on track or more on track with

509
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 1: money diaries. So let's segue back into those structured questions.

510
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 1: We haven't asked about debt. We've talked about investment, we've

511
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: talked about your money goals. I want to know do

512
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 1: you have any debt? If so, what is it.

513
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 4: I don't myself, though my husband has a mortgage. It's

514
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 4: our mortgage now, so we're paying that off, yep, for

515
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 4: his property. But I don't have any other debts apart

516
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 4: from that. I paid off my hex debt completely last year,

517
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 4: which is really great, really freeing. It's so freeing. It's

518
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 4: nice to see my paypacket go up slightly and then

519
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 4: be taken back for tax.

520
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 1: But we won't talk about that part. At least you

521
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: don't see some of it just going towards tex I

522
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 1: totally get it. I totally get that, or I want

523
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 1: to know of it. About your shopping habits as well,

524
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: What do you think is your best money habit?

525
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 4: I set up accounts for each of my goals and requirements.

526
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 4: So I had my wedding and honeymoon fund, which I'm

527
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 4: now converting into investment property fund, bills, spending an emergency,

528
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 4: and once I put those automatically into their I lock

529
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 4: them away like I don't dip back into them. And

530
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:39,919
Speaker 4: when I am feeling particularly impulsive, which I was during

531
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 4: when my mental health was at its worst because I

532
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 4: was just using that crutch, you know, shopping to make

533
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 4: myself feel better, I would give all of my accounts

534
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 4: to my husband and be like, don't give me any money.

535
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: I love that. That's a very good level of self awareness.

536
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 4: Yes, I'd be like, Oh, I'm feeling spendy today, can you.

537
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: Just take just hide my money for right now?

538
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:04,959
Speaker 4: Yes?

539
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 2: Love?

540
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 1: Would you say that's your worst money habit? If not,

541
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 1: what is it.

542
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 4: That's probably my worst money habit is the impulsive shopping.

543
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: But I feel like you're self aware of that in

544
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: that you literally have strategies to make sure that that's

545
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 1: not happening. How good is that?

546
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 4: Yes, it is. I should give myself props for that.

547
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you props for that. I really

548
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 1: really like that You're like, all right, well, if I'm

549
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: feeling a bit spendy, this is what I do instead

550
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: of just going, yeah, I get really spendy and I

551
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: don't have a strategy to deal with this. Like that

552
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 1: is very not head in the sand behavior. We like

553
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: to see that over it cheese on the money. I'm

554
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: going to wrap this up because I am very aware

555
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: that I have been talking to you for a long

556
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: time and I'm so so grateful of it. But at

557
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: the very start of the episode, I asked you to

558
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: grade yourself and your money habits, and you gave me

559
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: a C plus. And throughout this money diary, you've told

560
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: me a lot about your investment and your savings and

561
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: how you paid for your wedding and how you're saving

562
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: for an investment, and you have a banking and cash

563
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 1: flow plan, and that you know obviously you're quite self

564
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: aware when it comes to spending. Do you still think

565
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: you're a C plus?

566
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 4: Probably not.

567
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: What would you give your spending habits if we now

568
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: asked you to give yourself a grade.

569
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 4: I'd say we're creeping up to B plus.

570
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: I like this. I like this a lot, and do

571
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: you know what it shows me? It shows me that

572
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,959
Speaker 1: the more money conversations we have, the more likely we

573
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: are to be kind on ourselves when it comes to

574
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: money habits. So this has been good. This has been

575
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: really good, money diarist. Thank you so much for joining

576
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: us for a money diary. I feel like I've learned

577
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: a lot. I also feel like I've related a lot

578
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: to a lot of your story, So thank you for

579
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: joining us. I know that this is going to go

580
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 1: down so well in the community.

581
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 4: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

582
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: Of course, all right, guys, we will see you on Wednesday.

583
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 1: The advice shared on Cheese on the Money is general

584
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

585
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

586
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

587
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

588
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 1: the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

589
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are

590
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: authorized representatives of Money. Sheper pty Ltd ABN three two

591
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: one six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL

592
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: four five one two eight nine