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Speaker 1: Ash. Today's guest is Hugo tuv Now. He is a

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Speaker 1: bloke who's been through so much, more than most more

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Speaker 1: than most of us could imagine, and somehow he still

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Speaker 1: keeps pushing on.

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Speaker 2: He's an army man, a two time cancer survivor, and

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Speaker 2: the founder of twenty five Stay Alive, which is a

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Speaker 2: movement getting young people to actually check themselves before it's

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Speaker 2: too late.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to wrap your head around what life would

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Speaker 1: be like for Hugo. He's a dad to a sixteen

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Speaker 1: month old, but he's also juggling surgeries, hospital visits, and

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Speaker 1: all the emotional weight that comes with battling cancer for

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Speaker 1: a second time.

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Speaker 2: But in this chat, Hugo gives us a glimpse into

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Speaker 2: that world. He tells us what it's really like trying

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Speaker 2: to start a family when nothing goes to plan, the

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Speaker 2: quiet battles you don't see, and how becoming a dad

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Speaker 2: to little Teddy has changed everything for you.

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Speaker 1: Now, a little word of warning, this is a pretty

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Speaker 1: emotional chat. As you can imagine. There are a few

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Speaker 1: tears from my celloph and also from Hugo, so we

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Speaker 1: get some tissues ready. But it's a beautiful chat. So

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Speaker 1: I hope you enjoy.

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Speaker 3: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to three voting dads.

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Speaker 4: I'm Mattie, Jay, I'm Ash, and I'm here and this.

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Speaker 1: Is a podcast all about parenting. I almost forgot then

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Speaker 1: we've had a week off. I was like, where do

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Speaker 1: we go from here? This is the podcast all about parenting.

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Speaker 5: It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.

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Speaker 1: And you go, Ash and I rarely, if ever give advice.

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Speaker 1: We're not allowed. We're not about legal reasons we can't,

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Speaker 1: but loophole. There is no pressure on yourself to give

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Speaker 1: advice or you can not.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're pretty chill, no pressure, We're pretty chill.

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Speaker 2: And we do like to start with our guests by

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Speaker 2: asking them one really simple question. Do you remember the

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Speaker 2: most trouble you got in as a kid?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I do. And I've got a twin brother,

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Speaker 4: Max and identical non identical, and I reckon it was

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Speaker 4: probably when we were fighting my brothers.

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Speaker 1: Do how old we were.

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Speaker 4: I think we would have probably been about around like tennish,

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Speaker 4: like proper trouble. And this was a proper fight that

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Speaker 4: got out of hand, okay, and where you know, pushing

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Speaker 4: up against the walls, and then pushed him up against

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Speaker 4: the who was stronger. He probably was, which was a shade.

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Speaker 4: So are you taller now? I am got him? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so much taller.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot to admit that.

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Speaker 4: No, for sure, I always hated it. And then all

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Speaker 4: of a sudden, like I'm talking year twelve, like bo

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Speaker 4: shot up. It was now like a head taller at him.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, I would have been an athlete too.

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Speaker 4: He played first, so that was my excuse. But this

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Speaker 4: got out of hand, this fight and pushed him out

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Speaker 4: against the window and it cracked and smashed, and you know,

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Speaker 4: we've had a couple of those fights. But I just

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Speaker 4: remember that, you know, the dad coming home furious, like

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Speaker 4: they're probably the biggest ones. There's twin brothers when you've

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Speaker 4: got a big punch ons. I just remember those, multiple

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Speaker 4: of those memories that just stand out from where you've

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Speaker 4: really got in.

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Speaker 5: Trouble, young testosterone.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember when the window cracked? Who was kind

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Speaker 1: of saying was at fault? Because it was like you

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Speaker 1: were antagonizing me?

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Speaker 4: And you know, yeah, I think I was very much

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Speaker 4: on the it was Max's fault, get on the defense.

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Speaker 4: I think I was.

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Speaker 1: He sounds like a nightmare.

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Speaker 4: By the way, he always took it too far. Funny.

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Speaker 4: If he listens to this, he would just be sad,

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Speaker 4: that's bullshit, you guys. Too far. Probably the one that

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Speaker 4: actually just took things a little.

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Speaker 5: Who was the more authoritarian, your mum or your dad?

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Speaker 4: Mum? The dad was the one where it's like, you know,

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Speaker 4: he didn't have to do anything, just like the classic

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Speaker 4: you know, unbuckling the belts, one of those, but he

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Speaker 4: never did anything, but it was just you.

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Speaker 1: He just had to go to them.

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Speaker 4: You hear the buckle of the belt. I'm just sprinting to.

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Speaker 4: It was always just a classic. Mum would be like,

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Speaker 4: wait till Dad gets hot, and you're like, oh ship,

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Speaker 4: I really don't. Oh yeah, So that was kind of

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Speaker 4: how it was. But we still like, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: we got smacked and got the bloody in the mouth

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Speaker 4: or whatever in the mouth we're talking. If we swore

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Speaker 4: it was a hot mustard, it's just like, what's it called? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: So then Mum got done. That was probably the worst.

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Speaker 4: If we like, we're like, notice like if we were

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Speaker 4: deliberately swearing and we've been told okay, that's it, And

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Speaker 4: I think it was actually the hot mustard that would

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Speaker 4: come out mustard mustard, and it's just that the English

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Speaker 4: mustard is. I swear maybe being the army for for

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Speaker 4: fifteen years, but I swear so much and I'm like,

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Speaker 4: clearly it didn't work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I threatened my kids with soldo toast. Now that'll

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Speaker 2: really tear your mouth.

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Speaker 1: We were trying to figure out whether the fact that

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Speaker 1: you joined the army was off the back of you

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Speaker 1: being quite naughty, or if you had a family of

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Speaker 1: people who were in the army. Which one was it?

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Speaker 4: It was lack of direction, I think so the first one.

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Speaker 4: The first it's funny I had no family history of army,

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Speaker 4: but it was I did not want to do it, basically,

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Speaker 4: and I think my dad was worried I was going

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Speaker 4: to do the old gap year that turns into ten

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Speaker 4: years of gap years and just not really doing anything.

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Speaker 4: So the idea of joining the officer passway and you

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Speaker 4: get paid to study in Dad thought, geez, that would

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Speaker 4: be pretty good. You know, shave his head and that's

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Speaker 4: literally they weren't shaved head and discipline. It's like what

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Speaker 4: you see in the movies, marching all that sort of stuff.

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Speaker 4: So I think it was good for me because I

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Speaker 4: probably was a bit lack motivation, didn't have that real

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Speaker 4: life plan like my twin brother Max had. So I

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Speaker 4: think it was a great thing for me. And I'm

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Speaker 4: glad I did join up, to be honest, because did.

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Speaker 1: You like it at the start? Were you thinking what

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Speaker 1: I did?

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Speaker 4: Actually now I thought I did. I liked the idea

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Speaker 4: of just getting out of home, getting thrown at the

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Speaker 4: deep end. I don't know. I just I was at

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Speaker 4: that stage in my life where I liked that doing

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Speaker 4: something different. But none of my other friends were doing.

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Speaker 4: They were just doing the safe you know, live with

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Speaker 4: them and dad, go to UNI, change degrees, all that

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Speaker 4: sort of stuff. Was for me. It was moved to

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Speaker 4: Canberra to live Jordan Army And was it an apprenticeship

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Speaker 4: you took on or it was like it's four years

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Speaker 4: of officer training or and then in the first three

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Speaker 4: you get a Bachelor of Business or engineering or si as.

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Speaker 4: I chose business. So you get paide of Studdy, which

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Speaker 4: is pretty good. You know, you get pretty fit, you

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Speaker 4: make good mates, you do some cool stuff in the army.

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Speaker 4: And I thought if I last two years, that'd be great.

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Speaker 4: Fifteen years later, granted as we'll talk about the fact,

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Speaker 4: you know, they've looked after me. It's helped a bit

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Speaker 4: just staying in longer. But at the start, I thought

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Speaker 4: this would be a bit of fun. Joined up for

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Speaker 4: a couple of years and see how I go.

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Speaker 1: And then how old were you?

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Speaker 4: Eighteen?

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Speaker 2: Yeow, it's young, Hay, Like I I look at eighteen

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Speaker 2: year olds now as a thirty four and a half

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Speaker 2: year old man, and I'm.

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Speaker 5: Like, you're a child.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, a little bit.

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Speaker 2: So then when you're in primary school and stuff, and

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Speaker 2: you saw an eighteen year old fucking look at the

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Speaker 2: size of this guy, a big man.

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Speaker 4: The year twelve when you were yeah, eight nine ten

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Speaker 4: like men.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, now I'm looking down, I'm like, what are you six?

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Speaker 1: When I dropped Maley off at school, I'm wondering if

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Speaker 1: the kids look at me like I'm a geriatric.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, here comes old Manny Jay.

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Speaker 1: You're you're in your twenties. Probably the last thing you're

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Speaker 1: thinking about is cancer. But what led to the moment

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Speaker 1: where you were first diagnosed with testicular cancer?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting you said family history of being the army.

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Speaker 4: You've never had a family history of cancer either, so wow,

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Speaker 4: when when you're younger and you people listening to this

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Speaker 4: have probably had, you know, whether it's parents or family

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Speaker 4: members or grandparents who have had cancer, you can't have

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Speaker 4: a bit of an understanding of what it is. You know,

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Speaker 4: chemo max, your hair fall out, you know, you look unwell,

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Speaker 4: all that sort of stuff. For me, I had none

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Speaker 4: of that, So I didn't have any idea of what

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Speaker 4: cancer was other than what you'd see on the movies.

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Speaker 4: And for me, I thought, I assumed that you had

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Speaker 4: to be really unwell because you had cancer. That makes sense, right,

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Speaker 4: And for me, I was final six months of four

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Speaker 4: years of military training, and I was probably the fittest

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Speaker 4: I'd been in my whole life, even fitter than I've

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Speaker 4: ever been. Like that was kind of the pinnacle of

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Speaker 4: I was twenty one. You know, peak fitness, healthy, you're

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Speaker 4: in your prime. I was going on on weekends. You know,

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Speaker 4: you've got all your mates, you're within camber, You're like, jeez,

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Speaker 4: six months time where Bloody graduated? How was this like?

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Speaker 4: Young lieutenants? And that was, I guess always made it

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Speaker 4: pretty hard. And that's when I just noticed that little

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Speaker 4: bloody frozen piece size a lump on my right.

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Speaker 6: Nap.

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Speaker 4: Knew it was there. It was like this hard lump

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Speaker 4: that you know after the shower you have a feel

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Speaker 4: around and you just notice it and you go, hang on,

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Speaker 4: is that that's not normal?

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Speaker 1: Can I ask?

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Speaker 4: It's like separate to your testicle or part of the testicle.

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Speaker 4: So like if you feel your testicles, you know, we

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Speaker 4: can do a little faun familiar or I feel around.

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Speaker 4: It's one of my favorite things to do. So you

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Speaker 4: shouldn't be noticing any hard lumps basically, Yeah, that's you

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Speaker 4: know if you do notice that and you're listening to

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Speaker 4: this well good signing your doctor. I knew it was there,

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Speaker 4: but because it didn't hurt, and because I was healthy

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Speaker 4: and feeling good, I didn't think much of it. And

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Speaker 4: I remember literally going on like doctor, google lump on

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Speaker 4: right testicle, and I'd see the lead. Yeah, I saw

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Speaker 4: things like cancer, but I've also see things like benine system.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's what it is.

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Speaker 5: It always comes up with cancer. Whatever you put into Google.

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Speaker 4: Doctor, I've got a sore ear.

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Speaker 1: It's like you laugh about the fact. They're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this headache is going to be a true I got.

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Speaker 1: So when you saw cancer, you well.

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Speaker 4: It's funny instead of going like geez, I better after doctor.

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Speaker 4: That made I kind of thought like, exactly like this,

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't be that yeah, yeah, because I feel feel healthy,

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Speaker 4: especially at twenty one and you're twenty one. I thought

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Speaker 4: cancers when you turn fifty, like when you're older. But

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Speaker 4: it wasn't. And this went on for months and months

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Speaker 4: and months, and just every time I got out of

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Speaker 4: the shower, because that's when you know, the fellas that

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Speaker 4: are hanging uice a while and you have it have

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Speaker 4: a real good feel, that's when they recommend it. And

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Speaker 4: I was just noticed every time, and I just still

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Speaker 4: put it off. And then it wasn't until I spoke

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Speaker 4: to my old man just one random morning, and I

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Speaker 4: hadn't told anyone of that stage. And as I said, Dad,

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Speaker 4: like it was kind of awkward thinking about when you

224
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Speaker 4: last spoke to your dad about your testicles. You probably

225
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Speaker 4: you probably haven't, right, that's something you do even though

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Speaker 4: you both got them, all glopes have them, but you

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Speaker 4: don't just think about saying like, Dad, can you have

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Speaker 4: a look at my testicle? Like it's a bit weird

229
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Speaker 4: On the phone, I was a bit awkward about it,

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Speaker 4: and he said, first thing he said was how long

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Speaker 4: has it been there? And I'm like, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: like at least six months, probably more. And he said,

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Speaker 4: if you go on to the doctor. I said no,

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Speaker 4: and then he's just like, why not. Don't be a bloody,

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Speaker 4: bloody idiot. Your god, And it was almost that was

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Speaker 4: the first time I'm like, hey, why do I go

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Speaker 4: after a doctor? And it was like that's the push

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Speaker 4: I needed, hearing your old man say, man, don't be

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Speaker 4: a dickhead, go to a doctor. And You're like, okay,

240
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Speaker 4: that makes sense. It's wandered off to the doctor and

241
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Speaker 4: basically had an ultrasound later that afternoon. Yeah, found out

242
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Speaker 4: it was it was testicular cancer.

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Speaker 2: How long between you going to the doctor and having

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Speaker 2: that ultrasound and then then giving you a result.

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Speaker 4: Later that day?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 4: To be honest, when they were doing the ultrasound, I

248
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,080
Speaker 4: can never tell you the person doing it because they're

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Speaker 4: not the doctor. Yeah, but they do so much of it.

250
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Speaker 4: Even when she was doing it and I could see

251
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Speaker 4: on this screen and she's going over the lamp and

252
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Speaker 4: it's this black, big lump thing on the screen. I

253
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Speaker 4: could see her reader and I knew that I'm lying

254
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Speaker 4: there twenty on you old bloat like, so is that cool?

255
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,800
Speaker 4: Like what does it all right? And she's like, oh,

256
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Speaker 4: the doctor talked to you about it. I could just see.

257
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Speaker 4: So even then I thought all shit, hang on, But

258
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Speaker 4: then they got the results and things like cancer that

259
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Speaker 4: obviously moved pretty quickly, and then they how.

260
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Speaker 1: Do they deliver the news? Is it just ripping off

261
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:49,800
Speaker 1: a band aid and pretty direct?

262
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Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much. So I went to the They got

263
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Speaker 4: me a meeting with the specialist and then he basically

264
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Speaker 4: just came out and said, mate, you've you've got test

265
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Speaker 4: particular cancer, but we don't know how aggressive it is

266
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Speaker 4: or you know, if it spread, then you have to

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Speaker 4: have a CT scam, which I then had to follow

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Speaker 4: up that literally that day as well. Got the result

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Speaker 4: for that the next day, and that was when I

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Speaker 4: found out the cancer had spread, which that was, I

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Speaker 4: guess the frustrating part of it, because you think the

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Speaker 4: ignorance of a young twenty one year old bloke me

273
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Speaker 4: just putting that off meant the cancer had time to spread.

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Speaker 4: And I knew that the next couple of years would

275
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Speaker 4: be a lot more significant as far as surgeries and

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Speaker 4: chemo and treatment, Whereas if I had just gone in

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Speaker 4: straight away and thought, oh, this isn't right, this shouldn't

278
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Speaker 4: be here. They would have removed the testicle, contained it

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Speaker 4: and said happy days.

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Speaker 1: And I would have lived a But I also want

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Speaker 1: to say, because that is a valid point, but there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of guys out there who wouldn't have gone

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Speaker 1: to the doctor until it was way too late.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, answer, I'm strong who became famous for not

285
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,959
Speaker 4: so good reasons before all that. He did have testicular cancer.

286
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Speaker 4: He spreads because it spreads upwards. He spread to his Wow.

287
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,240
Speaker 4: He in his book talks about he would literally spread

288
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,040
Speaker 4: all through his lungs. He was coughing blood, his ball

289
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,880
Speaker 4: got so big he couldn't even sit on his bike seats,

290
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Speaker 4: and he just dozed up on painkillers and it literally

291
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,439
Speaker 4: spread to his brain and he didn't it took that

292
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Speaker 4: long as a professional athlete, because he didn't want to

293
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Speaker 4: impact his riding before he got got finally got checked

294
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Speaker 4: and they said, mate, like this is so fast spread,

295
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Speaker 4: like you're not going to make this. And he ended

296
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Speaker 4: up getting through it. But like that's just I think

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Speaker 4: it's that classic. I think blokes in general, a lot,

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Speaker 4: especially the older guys, but I find blokes in general

299
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Speaker 4: they don't. That's the fear of the unknown. I just

300
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Speaker 4: don't want to know. So it's kind of like I'm

301
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Speaker 4: going to brush it under the carpet and just hope

302
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Speaker 4: it just disappears because I'm just a bit I just

303
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Speaker 4: don't want anything bad to have.

304
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Speaker 5: Yeah, that happened with my dad last year and ended

305
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Speaker 5: up having a triple bypass.

306
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Speaker 2: Remember he just refused to admit that something was wrong,

307
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,840
Speaker 2: and it could have been so minor, like a loss

308
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Speaker 2: of breath, like for you, a small a lump on

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Speaker 2: your testicle or a lump on your breast or something.

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Speaker 4: And that's I think one positive from the experience and

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Speaker 4: the work I do now, as we'll talk about what

312
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,199
Speaker 4: happened next, but is now, I'm just so passionate and

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00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,439
Speaker 4: pretty strong with my mates and people I talked to

314
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Speaker 4: to go get checked, don't put things off, like it's

315
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,600
Speaker 4: pretty simple messaging. But I get quite vocal about it now,

316
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 4: whether it's you know, my father in law recently with

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00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,520
Speaker 4: one of those bow screening kits that he wasn't taking,

318
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,640
Speaker 4: or if it's a made who keeps telling me about

319
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,080
Speaker 4: these symptoms and I go you on to the doctor

320
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Speaker 4: or not yet, Like, mate, go to the bloody doctor.

321
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 4: It's made me just really passionate about that, and I think,

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Speaker 4: you know, I've had some really feel good stories since,

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Speaker 4: which is you know, saved lives. That's the way out.

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Speaker 4: Like if it wasn't for going through this, I wouldn't

325
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Speaker 4: have saved those about lives.

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Speaker 1: So it's such a great impact on other people.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and that gives me to this day and I've

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Speaker 4: got another big up coming up.

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Speaker 6: You know.

330
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Speaker 4: It always gives me a bit of that, yeah, bit

331
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Speaker 4: of that boost motivation.

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Speaker 2: So you're diagnosed with testicular cancer. What's the next step?

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00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, basically he said, mate, we've got to remove the

334
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,960
Speaker 4: testicle you've I then had the CT scan found out

335
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 4: it spread. Is like then we've got to talk about

336
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 4: chemond surgeries and stuff like that. You know, that's the

337
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,840
Speaker 4: next twelve months of your life's going to be just

338
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,600
Speaker 4: click off, click pause, forget about your your army career.

339
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,240
Speaker 4: For now you're going through you're going through going through

340
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,760
Speaker 4: cancer treatment. But for before all that, he you know,

341
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,120
Speaker 4: I was in Cameerra, twenty one year old bloke, a

342
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,280
Speaker 4: lot to take in, right, didn't have my parents with

343
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 4: me just sitting in this quite a big office and

344
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,440
Speaker 4: he just throwing this all at you, and you're like,

345
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,320
Speaker 4: what the hell is going on? Just like digest so

346
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,360
Speaker 4: he said, but before we go into that, he's like,

347
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,760
Speaker 4: we got to have this surgery to remove the testicle

348
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,720
Speaker 4: the next few days. Booked you in, but an important

349
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 4: question do you want a fake testicle? And I vividly

350
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,280
Speaker 4: remember that. Sorry, I always remember this, and that's like,

351
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,360
Speaker 4: as a young twenty one year old bloke, you've just

352
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,120
Speaker 4: had told cancer spread through your body, and he goes, mate,

353
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,400
Speaker 4: do you want a fake testicle? So here, I wasn't

354
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,520
Speaker 4: thinking about the chemo, the you know, am I going

355
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 4: to live any of this? It's the hey on, do

356
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,640
Speaker 4: I get a fake testicle on it? It's like all

357
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,920
Speaker 4: that was going through my head and then I kind

358
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 4: of thought, I don't know, like is that the go like,

359
00:15:58,560 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 4: you know, what's the norm?

360
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 5: Here? Get choice and what it looks.

361
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 4: And he said, look, you're young twenty one. I was

362
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,800
Speaker 4: single at the time, so he's a lot of young

363
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 4: guys find that. It just makes him feel a bit

364
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,560
Speaker 4: more normal. You're in the chaining rooms, You're not this

365
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,200
Speaker 4: weird loan range that that's hanging down.

366
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,240
Speaker 1: I'm big on cemetery.

367
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think exactly, So, you know, I think it

368
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,240
Speaker 4: was up to me.

369
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,640
Speaker 1: I think i'd have to go one.

370
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 5: Ash thought, why do I think it's wooden?

371
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,760
Speaker 4: Well, I think ask the same question pre kids and

372
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:29,880
Speaker 4: pre wife, and you're younger, would you get one? Is

373
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,560
Speaker 4: an interesting one because.

374
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 2: I don't think I know you wouldn't and there's no

375
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,160
Speaker 2: because I think I would whip it out a lot.

376
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 5: I think if if I.

377
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:44,720
Speaker 1: Don't know, yeah, you're you're a bit of al you

378
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,120
Speaker 1: want to show, but you like you want an eyepatch

379
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:47,800
Speaker 1: if you like.

380
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I got to a sex toy, I went

381
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 2: to a gay bar and I had my nuts out

382
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,800
Speaker 2: the whole nights.

383
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,880
Speaker 4: You have your Uni ball hanging free, and you think

384
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,960
Speaker 4: that'll and I think that'd be hilarious. Yeah, so this

385
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 4: is why you need to then hear this part of

386
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,879
Speaker 4: the story then, because a fake one can be just

387
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,080
Speaker 4: as funny. And I said, I said, yep, let's do it.

388
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 4: Let's go go with the fake one. And he said great,

389
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:14,880
Speaker 4: And I thought that was it. You know, I thought

390
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,920
Speaker 4: they just do everything then and he goes no worries,

391
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,159
Speaker 4: He goes to his desk and brings out this like

392
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 4: briefcase and he flips it open and he goes, right now, which.

393
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:23,160
Speaker 1: One do you want?

394
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 4: And then yeah, about five machine. It's like shopping for

395
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 4: a catalog of fake nuts. And there's like five different

396
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 4: molds of fake testicles. And I'm sitting here and he's

397
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,320
Speaker 4: oppositely the stair at it with a smile, and I'm

398
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,679
Speaker 4: going through. I've got like two trelog This one had

399
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,639
Speaker 4: a real nice bouncy texture. This is a silicon basis

400
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 4: feels good. That's a popular choice. It's important from the States.

401
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,240
Speaker 4: And I'm like, really that, Yeah, it's really good. You

402
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 4: can tell you like proud of you've got fine, fine taste.

403
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,000
Speaker 4: Will take one of those. So I locked in that one,

404
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,680
Speaker 4: and I thought, okay, that's a bit weird. You have

405
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 4: one that lights up? Do you have one with like

406
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:03,400
Speaker 4: edges on it? There?

407
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's got this scooter at the moment the wheels.

408
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 4: I want one of those ones, which I wonder now

409
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 4: if they do, that'd be interesting. And then he said,

410
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,159
Speaker 4: what size do you want? Huge? And I said the

411
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 4: biggest one he's got. It was quite small, to be honest,

412
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 4: but no, he I said, like you said, MADDI, you

413
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 4: like match it up bit of symmetries, and yeah, okay,

414
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,160
Speaker 4: that makes sense. We'll get the medium sized happy days.

415
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,640
Speaker 4: You know, I didn't think much of that, and then

416
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 4: I thought it was quite a weird process, right, And

417
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:31,680
Speaker 4: then at the time I was a bit vulnerable, and

418
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,480
Speaker 4: I just thought that's interesting. And I woke up and

419
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 4: I've got this weird fake nut down there, and he

420
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,200
Speaker 4: came along and he goes and just walks here. I've

421
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 4: got my pants down, my dad's here, and he just

422
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 4: goes and gives it a big squeeze, and naturally I

423
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 4: couldn't really feel or it didn't hurt. But every bloke

424
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 4: goes like, but it didn't hurt. He's like, oh shit,

425
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 4: did that hurt. I'm like, no, but it should. He's good, Okay,

426
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 4: that's fine. You know. One second, it's all good, it

427
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 4: all went well. But now it's funny. Over the years,

428
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 4: it's this part of me and I've now got this

429
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 4: bit of an infamous drunken party.

430
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 5: What is it go on?

431
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 4: And it's it's called real or fake. I'm sure, I'm

432
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,479
Speaker 4: sure you shoul put one and two together. And now

433
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 4: they explain the rules they love real fakes, so you

434
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 4: can't notice the difference from just visual. So often you

435
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 4: know it promotes good conversations. Now I get mates building

436
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 4: up a tally in how many times they guess the

437
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 4: real one on the fake one.

438
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 1: So what you do.

439
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 4: You're going to turn around and you bring one out

440
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 4: real or fake and they go, no, that's definitely the

441
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 4: real one. And the way now I determine if it's not,

442
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,040
Speaker 4: you get your iPhone light and you put your light

443
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,160
Speaker 4: up against it. This is like beacon of light. It's

444
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 4: like this, I'll show you after this. It's like, so

445
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,160
Speaker 4: you turn the lights off and it's just the big

446
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 4: lights now, and it's just it's what started out is

447
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 4: something that that's quite embarrassed about. I'm now proud of it.

448
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,919
Speaker 4: And so many mates just love the fake nut.

449
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say that you get

450
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: people to feel them. No, it used to be a flip.

451
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 4: So it used to be like I'd got this and

452
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 4: I'd be like, yeah, you're not going to fit your

453
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 4: full one, and I'd fit the fake one, like, oh bugger,

454
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 4: I said it was a real one. So it was

455
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 4: like people feel it, they're interested in it. It's like

456
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 4: this silicon based a weird little thing like it's It's

457
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 4: an interesting one because, like I said at the start,

458
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 4: I was so embarrassed to even tell my dad that

459
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 4: I had this nut on my testicle, whereas now like

460
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 4: I just love talking about testicles. I talk, I get

461
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 4: it out, you know. I've had mates who like have said, mate,

462
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 4: I've got this weird little vein thing down there, and

463
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 4: they've gone to doctors. I've had a friend of a

464
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 4: friend who was diagnosed with testicular cancer, but you got

465
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 4: it early. I've had multiple people around me that reach

466
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 4: out online saying I've heard you're real off fake, you're

467
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 4: got careful that you're not just walking on the street.

468
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 4: And I was like, hey, you go. Yeah, But it's

469
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 4: a weird feeling now that I've just I'm proud of

470
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 4: this part of me, you know, And it's what was

471
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 4: initially a really awkward thing that resulted from very unfortunate

472
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 4: circumstances has evolved and there's something I'm proud of. It's

473
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 4: creating conversations, it's saving lives, and it's important that you

474
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 4: have a bit of fun with it and you have

475
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 4: some humor with it, because otherwise blokes don't talk about

476
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 4: this stuff. By opening up, by playing real or fake,

477
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 4: by getting the lantern out. By having these chats, you

478
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 4: get these guys now who feel comfortable talking about their

479
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 4: body and changes and is this normal? Should this be

480
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:21,640
Speaker 4: hanging this way?

481
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 5: My nuts?

482
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 4: This big is out. You know, it's important stuff, and

483
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 4: I think November do a great job with sim removes it.

484
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 4: And that's what I try and do with, you know,

485
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 4: whether it's a presentation of footy club or chatting to

486
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 4: someone who I can tell is you know, be uncomfortable

487
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 4: they want to tell me something. If you add a

488
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 4: bit of humor in, and you guys obviously do it

489
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 4: so well on this podcast. You can have the serious chats,

490
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 4: but then you throw some humor in, it makes people

491
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 4: just feel a bit more comfortable.

492
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 1: There's no better icebreaker than the lantern produces, Like, oh god,

493
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 1: I'm trying to understand the emotional whiplash that you've gone through,

494
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: because you know, we could easily sit here and talk

495
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: about your testicular cancer for the whole episode, but I'm

496
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 1: going to ruin the story here. You get through it,

497
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 1: you're in remission, you hit with cancer a second time,

498
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: and in such a short period when you're almost celebrating

499
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: one second the fact that you've beaten testicular cancer, to

500
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: then dealing with a second diagnosis. What is that like

501
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 1: from an emotional perspective.

502
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, that and then that was really tough. The five

503
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 4: years went by and I had the chemo, that surgeries,

504
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 4: I went on surveillance, the three months check ups turned

505
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 4: into six months to twelve months, and you're kind of

506
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 4: ticking off the little milestones and my life resumed and

507
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 4: I got physically fit and I was healthy again, you know,

508
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 4: click resume of my army career. We got posted to

509
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 4: Brisbane and then I guess the icing on the cake

510
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 4: and for those who have experienced cancer is the five

511
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 4: year mark. So I remember getting the five year all

512
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 4: clear scan, which is a significant milestone. You literally, yeah,

513
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 4: you see your pologist who's been such a big part

514
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 4: of your life for like five years, you see him

515
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 4: for the last time and you kind of say like

516
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 4: thanks dark, like I'll probably never see you again, and

517
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 4: it's quite a significant time.

518
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 2: Do you remember the first emotion that popped up when

519
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: you were told you accounts freeter five years?

520
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it was just that real happy moment.

521
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,679
Speaker 4: It was like a sense of freedom that I had

522
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 4: an experienced in my adult life. And I remember I

523
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 4: was with amb and my wife in Brisbane and we

524
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 4: cracked open our favorite champagne and we just had this

525
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 4: celebration of just like we can now put that behind us,

526
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 4: and that like the anxiety and the fear of the

527
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 4: what if you know, what if it relapses, what if

528
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 4: it comes back? You know, once you hit that mark,

529
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 4: it's almost like you're the chance of relapse. It won't happen,

530
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 4: You're in complete remission. I just remember that, just that

531
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 4: real happy feeling like you can get on with Yeah,

532
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 4: you can kind of now don't live with the anxiety

533
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 4: of the unknowns. And it was it was quite significant

534
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 4: at that stage in our life. We were living in

535
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 4: a different city. You know, I got lined up for

536
00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 4: deployment overseas, and.

537
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 1: You were married at that point where I know we

538
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 1: went married.

539
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 4: We'd been together for a number of years, but she

540
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 4: had kind of experienced a big part of that, and

541
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 4: she was just I was really happy that I was,

542
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 4: you know, no longer causing her you know, I guess, yeah,

543
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 4: the burden of when she is to go through it too,

544
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 4: And it was just a nice moment in my life,

545
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 4: and I just felt, Yeah, for the first time of

546
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 4: adult life, I felt that real sense of relief, the

547
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 4: weight off your shoulders, happiness, freedom.

548
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 1: But when did that change?

549
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 4: Well, and that's yeah, it was Unfortunately that was short lived,

550
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,360
Speaker 4: and a couple of months went by, and like I said,

551
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 4: I got lined up for deployment overseas, which I'd always

552
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 4: wanted to do. You know, we were kind of living

553
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 4: a great life at that stage, and then all of

554
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 4: a sudden my bows started playing up. And I've always

555
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 4: had a bit of a dodgy gut, you know, like

556
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 4: a bit of ibs as a kid growing up. You know,

557
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 4: that wasn't uncommon. But for this was worse than my normal.

558
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 4: And I always say, my normal is different to yours,

559
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 4: ash difference to yours, Maddie, and it's important to recognize

560
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 4: what our normal is. And this went on for a

561
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 4: couple of weeks, and it was the urgent see like, oh,

562
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 4: go to the bathroom, like that just kind of came

563
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 4: on that that's not normal. It was the you know,

564
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 4: the diarrhea, the abdominal sort of pain. I just thought,

565
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 4: is it something I'm eating? This isn't right. This went

566
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 4: on for a couple of weeks, two months after I'd

567
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 4: just been given the five year all clip, full set scan,

568
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 4: no signs of cancer, your happy days. And then I

569
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 4: remember saying to Am, but like, no, I'm going to

570
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 4: head off to the doctor, which is something I didn't

571
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,719
Speaker 4: do as a twenty five year old bloke. And went

572
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 4: off to the doctor and with my history my symptoms,

573
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 4: he recommended I had a colonoscopy. If either of you

574
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 4: lads had a no, we should definitely do that. Colonoscopies

575
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 4: are like they typically looked at when people are a

576
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 4: bit older, but like the younger people now if they've

577
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 4: got some issues with their gut. A lot of people

578
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 4: have Klonoskoy because it's the best way to put a

579
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,360
Speaker 4: camera up your barm. You have a fifteen minute pound

580
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 4: app and you can have a look at what's going

581
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 4: on inside. And I had had a feel as a kid,

582
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 4: so I knew what it was about a bit of

583
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 4: a bower cleanse. It just completely pleased you out. I

584
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 4: remember literally waking up feeling a bit out of it.

585
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 4: You're having a little turkey sanger tasting great, you know,

586
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 4: you know, still dozed up from the anesthetic. And Terry,

587
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 4: my gasterontrologist, came over and he had this kind of

588
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,880
Speaker 4: bit of a sort of somber look and he's like, mate,

589
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 4: he showed me a print out of the report and

590
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 4: he's like, you've got a couple of nasty polyps, which

591
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 4: for your age is not necessarily common. But I burnt

592
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 4: them off, sent them off for a bipsy. But let's

593
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 4: see you in two weeks. We'll discuss next steps on

594
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 4: why your bows are playing it. And then literally the

595
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 4: next day, I was your momy uniform, typing away at

596
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,959
Speaker 4: my desk and I got a call from Terry's receptionist

597
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 4: and she she said, she go, Terry needs to see

598
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 4: the results are back. And I'm like, yeah, I'm beauty

599
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 4: se him in two weeks and she's like, no, no,

600
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 4: he needs to see you this afternoon. And you know,

601
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 4: when you're just in life, were you get those moments

602
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 4: where you have that sick feeling in your stomach, whether

603
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 4: it's I don't know your kids are well, or you're

604
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 4: waiting for something, like you just feel sick. I couldn't

605
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 4: have a sleep of water, and I just knew something

606
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 4: wasn't right. When you've got a specialist wanting to see you,

607
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 4: and I, you know, Amber, my wife's a nurse and

608
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 4: she just finished a shift at the hospital. Went to

609
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 4: the appointment together, and I was kind of cracking a

610
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 4: few jokes, like pretending I was fine, but I was

611
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 4: so scared because I just knew it wasn't going to

612
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 4: be good news. And then he called us into his

613
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 4: office and that's when he just he just said. He

614
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 4: turned his computer screen around and said, Amber, hug, I'm

615
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 4: sorry to say. You know, you've got bow cancer. And

616
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 4: it was completely different. A lot of people ask if

617
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,359
Speaker 4: it was part of testicula, if it relapsed, it was

618
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 4: an entirely new cancer. So my testicular cancer was well

619
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 4: and truly in the past two months, after being on

620
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 4: top of the world, experiencing that happiness and freedom, we

621
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 4: just found ourselves back in the doctor's rooms being told

622
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 4: that I had Bower cancer. And I remember sort of

623
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 4: taking that in and I was it was almost a

624
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 4: bit of shock, and Amber had her knee on my

625
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 4: hand on my knee, and she was very silent, and

626
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 4: I just thought, here would go again. And he said

627
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 4: to me that it's an aggressive type of Bower cancer.

628
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 4: We got to act quick, I've already booked you in

629
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 4: for surgery. But he said, the only silverligning is the

630
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 4: testicular cancer saved your life. And it's the moment I'll

631
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 4: always remember, is that the fact that if it wasn't

632
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 4: for sicular cancer, learning the importance of early detection, that

633
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 4: little frozen pe sized lump, the cancer spreading through my body.

634
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 4: There is no way fast forward five years as a

635
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 4: young twenty six year old bloke. There is no way

636
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 4: I would have gone off to a doctor with my

637
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: bows playing up. But I was still living a pretty

638
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 4: normalish life and there is no way I would have

639
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,439
Speaker 4: had that colonosk could be being in those ruins being

640
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 4: told I had had bow cancer. But I got it

641
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 4: early enough that it gave me a fighting chance, and

642
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 4: that's something that I guess I'm grateful for sitting here.

643
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 4: Bow cancer now kills more young Australians age twenty five

644
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 4: to forty four than any other cancer. It's now impacting

645
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 4: young people. They're putting lots of links to the diet

646
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 4: last style, but a lot of people get diagnosed when

647
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 4: they're stage four, and when bow cancer spreads beyond the

648
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 4: bow and you're stage four, survived five year survival rates

649
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 4: around that ten percent.

650
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:52,719
Speaker 1: What stage were you at when?

651
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 2: So?

652
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 4: I was early stage. It had just kind of started

653
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 4: going beyond the bow. But because I had this aggressive type,

654
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 4: it can sometimes be hard to treat. And that was

655
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 4: the issue that I've had, and to this day I

656
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 4: still have I'm cancer free, but as a result of

657
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 4: all the major surgeries, and I've had about ten or

658
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 4: so open abdominal surgeries, and I don't have a large bow,

659
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 4: I don't have a colon or a rectum. I missing

660
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 4: part of my small bower. I had a bag for

661
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 4: about six months. I've now got an internal jpouch where

662
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 4: they literally stretched down your small bower, create an internal pouch,

663
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 4: stitch you onto the anus area, and for a while

664
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 4: act to learn how to get the toilet again in

665
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 4: continents wearing adult diapers, and then you kind of you

666
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 4: learn to adjust and adapt. And then I went from

667
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,719
Speaker 4: going twenty times a day to ten times. I got

668
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 4: under ten. Was doing pretty well, but unfortunately this sort

669
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 4: of last six to twelve months, I've really been struggling.

670
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 4: The pouch is not functioning. It's it's and they have

671
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 4: to go back now to a bag, and it's a

672
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 4: tough one because I'm cancer free, but to get to

673
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 4: that point, they've had to take pretty drastic measures. And

674
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 4: it's like the collateral damage from something like cancer isn't

675
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 4: often spoken about. So I often tell people like, you know,

676
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 4: I'm cancer free, and they go, that's amazing, which it is, yeah,

677
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 4: But then the quality of life I have and I

678
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 4: was just in hospital literally two days ago and had

679
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,959
Speaker 4: a surgery last week. And the burden now that has

680
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 4: on Amber and our son, and it's something that we

681
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 4: constantly have been experiencing really since twenty thirteen to now.

682
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 4: So it's been twelve years, which is a long time

683
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 4: where I've had patches of good health, but for the

684
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 4: most part, it's been significant challenges. You get through it,

685
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 4: but it's tiring.

686
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: When you are battling cancer. Maybe if you think about

687
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: when you got your diagnosis early on, what's it like

688
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: from an emotional perspective where it's almost like you just

689
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: finished this marathon. You get to the finish line, you

690
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: can celebrate, and then the moment you kind of have

691
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: a champagne in hand, you get to tap on the

692
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: shoulder and it's like you've got to run this marathon again.

693
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: Like when you're battling it second time. Is it pretty

694
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: consistent and that your mentality is just like, we're going

695
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: to beat this cancer. I can do this. And how

696
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: often does it then switch to being this is too hard,

697
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 1: I can't do this.

698
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a really good point. And I think those

699
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 4: earlier years with Tessieler cancer, I was very much fatun

700
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 4: bullet proof. I'm a young lad. I'll be completely fine.

701
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 4: I think it's not till you get a bit older

702
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 4: and understand a bit more about life, in particular since

703
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 4: being a dad, and you realize there's more important things

704
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 4: than just you. That's really changed my outlook on my

705
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 4: current health challenges, and it's been mentally been quite difficult,

706
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 4: where you know, you're now not just burdening your wife,

707
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 4: You've now got a son that you want to be

708
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 4: there for. And then there's so many times that I

709
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 4: can't be there for him because I'm unwell, I'm in hospital,

710
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 4: or I'm facetiming him, or I'm really unwell, you know.

711
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 4: And I've had lots of mental health challenges and you

712
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 4: try and pick yourself up, but it's really hard sometimes

713
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 4: to do that.

714
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 2: I want to just step back a little bit about

715
00:31:54,920 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 2: your wife and your son going through I mean, a

716
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: second stint of cancer after what you've already been through.

717
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 5: Where's your mind at was starting a family?

718
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 4: It's a good point. So when I went before I

719
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 4: had chemo, even back when I was twenty one, they

720
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 4: are single kids were so far from my you know,

721
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 4: my thought process of having a family. But my cologist

722
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 4: said I needed to get frozen sperm because they sometimes

723
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 4: chemo and these these treatments can make you infertile. So

724
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 4: I remember, like literally back then, before I even had

725
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 4: a partner, I'm going in, you know, getting the frozen sperm,

726
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 4: putting that away. And I've had that ever since. With

727
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 4: the I guess the thought of I might need it

728
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 4: one day, and then I guess years later. You know,

729
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 4: I meet Amber. We've been together for now over ten years,

730
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 4: and when we had Teddy, our son who's now sixteen

731
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 4: months old. You know, we're at that stage in our

732
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 4: life of wanting to have a family, and we thought,

733
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 4: like a lot of naive you know, dads to be

734
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 4: think that you just happen like that. And I think

735
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 4: I thought, you know, a lot of my mates around

736
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 4: me who were having kids, you're here. I made as

737
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 4: soon as she used Buddy ovulating, it just happened. My

738
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 4: bloody and hell made that the first time we didn't

739
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 4: use a condom, we felt she felt pregnant. So I

740
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 4: thought that's how it was going to happen. Unfortunately, as

741
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 4: you know, you guys know, it doesn't often happen like that.

742
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 4: So for us, it took us a while. And so

743
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 4: the six months will go by and you'd get each

744
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 4: damas you know, the pregnancy test and he's all excited

745
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: and I'm can't saving it, you know, put them on

746
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 4: the bean and Sam's that's just try and not think

747
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 4: about it. Easier said than done. And then we were

748
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 4: told by many specialists and doctors just they said, look,

749
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 4: there's a chance that you might not be able to

750
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 4: conceive naturally, but you've got your frozen sperm. And almost

751
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 4: a year went by and we're going to go down

752
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 4: that passway to use the frozen sperm. And it was

753
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 4: one random warning where we weren't even trying to conceive

754
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 4: on the whole ovulation day. Let's go, you know, we

755
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 4: kind of put that behind us and we're heading back

756
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 4: to Adelaide and Ambe was heading back for her best

757
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 4: friend's hens and she thought, you know what, it's going

758
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 4: to be a big weekend. I'm just going to like, okay, yep,

759
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 4: do another pregnancy test. You get just so still. And

760
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 4: I'm upstairs getting ready or whatever. And it's like five

761
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 4: in the morning before I went to the airport. I

762
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 4: came downstairs and there was the pregnancy test in the

763
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 4: kitchen and I went to literally go put in the

764
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 4: bin and it had the line there, and I was like, man,

765
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 4: what's this line mean? Happen to be there? And then

766
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 4: she kind of ran out and she's like, I think

767
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 4: I'm pregnant. And we're just like holy shit, Like we

768
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,400
Speaker 4: just weren't expecting it. Were mentally prepared for the IVF

769
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 4: pathway and going down that side of things, and here

770
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 4: it was were like is this right? And we're both

771
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 4: so like so upside with this big smile. Got to

772
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 4: the airport, she got the digital one that says pregnant,

773
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 4: and like, we couldn't contain ourselves. And fortunately, you know,

774
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,959
Speaker 4: things went well, and you know, the weeks and months

775
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 4: progressed and then you know, we we've now got a

776
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 4: beautiful sun, which is which is amazing. And I was

777
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 4: actually just saying pre chat for pre podcast that there's

778
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 4: a chance with this big surgery off got coming up

779
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 4: to get the per and in stone and have to

780
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 4: go quite deep to my prostate area, and there's a

781
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 4: decent chance that they can get a few of the

782
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 4: prostrate nerves and it will make me infertile, which essentially

783
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 4: means you have dry orgasms, retrogate ejaculations, nothing comes out, essentially,

784
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 4: and you can't there's nothing they can do. It's just

785
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 4: a risk. And then so he my surgeon only recently

786
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 4: said so if you were thinking of wanting another one,

787
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 4: he said, like, I recommend that you, you know, you

788
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 4: try because you know things could happen. And then we

789
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 4: also know we've got the frozen spermers back up. And

790
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 4: unfortunately I haven't actually said and said, we haven't told

791
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 4: anyone this, but I know you guys, you've been very

792
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 4: open about it. We am. We did full pregnant recently

793
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 4: and it was just like how good this this is

794
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 4: meant to be the timeline. She was so happy and

795
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 4: she's been through a lot, but then she had a

796
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 4: miscarriage last week, which is not great, which when you're

797
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 4: going through this with the surgery coming up, yeah, quite quite.

798
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 4: Yet she was really emotional and I really felt for

799
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 4: her because he was like finding a bit of good

800
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 4: news for her. And now I feel like we've got

801
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 4: the pressure now going to the surgery that you you know,

802
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 4: she might not conceive before then, and I've seen how

803
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 4: much it's impacted her, and she's really going through so much.

804
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 4: And then you throw that on there, and you know,

805
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 4: we've tried to be upbeat with it, but you know,

806
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 4: once you go through those shitty days and you know,

807
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 4: being beating yourself up about it, ultimately our son, who's

808
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 4: healthy and he's amazing, he just gives us that that

809
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 4: boost and it's really helped Amber. And I really feel

810
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 4: for those people. And it's I know you've both spoken

811
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 4: about it, but I feel for those people who go

812
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 4: through that where they don't have a kid as like

813
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 4: a you know, the fallback of just that like comfort,

814
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 4: that safety blanket. We had that, but it just added

815
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 4: this extra layer.

816
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: Of like it's like a sledgeheet. It does.

817
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that yeah, all the time, it was perfect

818
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 4: and you're finally getting like some good news because we've

819
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 4: just had so much bad news over the years, and

820
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 4: it's almost like we deserve that. And then you know,

821
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 4: unfortunately Ship then had this miscarriage and it.

822
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: Was just like again, it's just like bloody hell, like

823
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: really it's not it's not fair, like what you guys

824
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 1: have had to go through as a family, Like it's

825
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 1: unbelievable and it's more than like what I think I'll

826
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: ever have to deal with my lifetime. I'm just it's

827
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: it pisses me off that you have to you have

828
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 1: to go through all that.

829
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it I do don't get me right, do

830
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 4: you have days where you really do get down the

831
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 4: dumps and you do get like I'm a pretty positive guy,

832
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 4: but you do get those times of even last week,

833
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 4: I'm back in hospital for a week and you know,

834
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 4: even now I've got this like drain in because I've

835
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 4: had this infection and that drained will be in like

836
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 4: four weeks, and I kind of had that anxiety again

837
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 4: of like shit, I'm back here next month for this

838
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,280
Speaker 4: major major surgery.

839
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 1: Can I ask that? And with Teddy, obviously you want

840
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 1: to try and like you said, be upbeat and be

841
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 1: like no, I'm going to beat this. This is not

842
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: going to get me.

843
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,760
Speaker 4: But they're like, at what time do you start planning

844
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 4: about not being around for Teddy. Yeah, it's it's a

845
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 4: tough one. Things definitely change when you're a parent. Yeah,

846
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 4: actually thinking about this last night, I give him a bath.

847
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 4: There's a first time I've actually really thought about this,

848
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 4: and I haven't with Amber yet. But giving him a

849
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 4: bath wasn't I and he was just really happy and

850
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 4: smiling at me. And he doesn't know what's going on.

851
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 4: And then going into this major surgery, I think, ship,

852
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 4: how you know things don't work out or my health

853
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 4: doesn't go to plan the next six months, plus how's

854
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 4: AMBA going to raise him? And how I'm not going

855
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 4: to be.

856
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 5: There for him.

857
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,240
Speaker 4: And it was the first time I had these thoughts

858
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 4: last night. It's a really tough one. But the thing

859
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 4: is he doesn't know what's going on, and I think

860
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 4: in a way that makes it easier because he doesn't

861
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 4: know that Dad's sick or dad's not feeling well. He

862
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 4: just wants Dad to give him a bath and read

863
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 4: him a book. And I think that joy is a

864
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 4: good distraction. But it's something that until very recently, I

865
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 4: haven't really thought about. And it's not till you have

866
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 4: a kid, your whole everything changes. Perspective, there's more to

867
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:33,919
Speaker 4: life than you and for me it just I guess

868
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 4: in a way, it gives me the ultimate motivation to

869
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 4: get through it, to be there for him to recover

870
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 4: as best as I can. You know, even the decision

871
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 4: of having this big series is a major decision. But

872
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 4: I thought, you know what, I'm bloody good at changing

873
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 4: his nappies. I see a change another one. You know,

874
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 4: one thing that doesn't where you're worrying me is poo.

875
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 4: So you know, I thought, you know what, it's just

876
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 4: a bit of a life adjustment. It's another major surgery. Yes,

877
00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,879
Speaker 4: there are other unknowns. I've got such a small bow

878
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 4: now that there's only so much bow you can live with.

879
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 4: So there's always those risks if I keep having bow

880
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 4: obstructions or keep going back here and they have to

881
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 4: take more about there will come a time where it's

882
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 4: like jezuz, you can only live with so much bow.

883
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,320
Speaker 4: So they're things that I just have to constantly think about.

884
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 4: And being the father's been the greatest thing I've ever experienced,

885
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 4: and he does so much for me at such a

886
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 4: young age, and he's so small, but he gives me

887
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,399
Speaker 4: a boost that I can never get from anything else.

888
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: There's something kids can give you that you can't get

889
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 2: from anything else exactly. And it's crazy to think that

890
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 2: at some point over the whether it's the little while

891
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: that he's been alive, that you've had to have those

892
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 2: thoughts of this kid could potentially grow up without me.

893
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 2: And I think about that with my son, and I'm like,

894
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 2: I couldn't imagine Oscar having to go through this life

895
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 2: without me. So it's incredible that you can put, you know,

896
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 2: bring yourself here and sit with us and spread such

897
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 2: a positive message about early detection and everything like that.

898
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 5: So I just wanted to commend you.

899
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 4: No, Look, I told you I was a crier. No,

900
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 4: I knew it would get me too, And look, that's okay.

901
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 4: You know I used to apologize like the natural thing.

902
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 4: When I used to cry, when during talks and when

903
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 4: I'm often talk about Teddy or what amb has done

904
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 4: for me, that'd be the real triggers. I used to

905
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 4: get quite emotional, and you know, the default was sorry.

906
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 4: But then I now kind of just embrace that I

907
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 4: never apologized for crime because it's obviously it means so

908
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 4: much to me, and I think it's important that guys

909
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,720
Speaker 4: realize it's okay to have a cry and be vulnerable

910
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 4: and you know, give your dad a hug, give you

911
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 4: made a hug. And that's the sort of the role

912
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 4: model I want to be for Teddy. And I think

913
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 4: that's the other part of it, is the fact that

914
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 4: you know, whether it's you know, twelve months, five years,

915
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 4: ten years, fifty years, however long I've got left on

916
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 4: this this in this world, I want him to grow up,

917
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 4: you know, knowing these things. And I really want to

918
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 4: instill that in him, even though he's so young. These

919
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 4: are the messages in the world that I want him

920
00:41:58,640 --> 00:41:59,919
Speaker 4: to gra up in and so it kind of gives

921
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 4: me that real drive to do more of that. Yeah,

922
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 4: and yeah, he's the greatest gift. And I think without him,

923
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 4: you know, I'd been a lot worse place mentally, even

924
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 4: when I'm in hospital going through difficult time and you're

925
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 4: facetiming him and I know that he's there with my

926
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 4: wife Amber, but also you know, he's almost like her

927
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 4: little guardian angel. And she often said, like pre Teddy,

928
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 4: those times I'd be stuck in hospital or really ut well,

929
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,760
Speaker 4: she was often by herself. And it's really difficult because

930
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 4: the carers or the loved ones that go through this.

931
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 4: You know, they still go to hospital, she looks after me,

932
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,480
Speaker 4: you know, she's there and trying to boost my spirits.

933
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 4: But then when they leave, you know, they're still living

934
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 4: their life. You know they can't just that they're not

935
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 4: living in that little bubble like I am. And I

936
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 4: often say it can be a lot harder for those

937
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 4: cares and those support people because she's it's emotional for her,

938
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 4: and she would stay often, and she would leave hospital

939
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 4: see me in such a bad way, and she would

940
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 4: burst into tears. She then has to go home, has

941
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 4: to clean the house and you know, now cooked dinner

942
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,320
Speaker 4: for our son, and then she's then got work and

943
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 4: you know she has to do all of that whilst

944
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 4: then caring for me, and then not having the support

945
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 4: from me when I'm not there. So's she probably probably

946
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 4: doesn't get the recognition or the you know, like the

947
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 4: holy shit, you do so much like she deserves. And

948
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 4: there are a few people that probably realize how much

949
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 4: she actually does. You know, a lot of her friends

950
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 4: or you know, even family probably don't really understand what

951
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 4: it's like for her to have to be in the

952
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 4: position she's in. Looking after me, being there for me,

953
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 4: recently having a miscarriage, herself, going through some really difficult

954
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 4: emotional times, herself being an amazing mum to Teddy, and

955
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 4: then trying to then live her life like it's a lot,

956
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 4: but it's something that I'm so grateful for, And I

957
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 4: just hope, you know, I say it to her, but

958
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 4: I just hope she knows how much I'm proud of her.

959
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure.

960
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: What's it like when you do have those moments where

961
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: you're in and you're like, I just want to be home.

962
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: I want to be with Annie, but I want to

963
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: be with Teddy and children are amazing. But at the

964
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: same time, you can have a situation where one second

965
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 1: it's pure bliss and you love it and there's no

966
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: better feeling than the love you get from being with

967
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: your child, But then at the same time, an hour later,

968
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,280
Speaker 1: it can be the total end of the spectrum because

969
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 1: they're tired, they're grumpy, they're hungry. So then how do

970
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: you deal with the emotion of the moments where you're

971
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 1: trying to be a parent and you're getting frustrated, But

972
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,760
Speaker 1: then you have the guilt of thinking, well, I shouldn't

973
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: be frustrated because I've got to make the most of it,

974
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: of every single second that I spend with my son.

975
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's such a good point. I have those

976
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 4: moments and exactly what you've said where you're like, I

977
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 4: shouldn't be letting this get to me, but I am.

978
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 4: And I think any dad or parent has that, let

979
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,720
Speaker 4: alone going through significant health challenges. But there are times

980
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 4: where like especially if I don't have the energy or

981
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 4: I'm not feeling that well and goes like Teddy, just

982
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 4: give me a bit of space, and you just kind

983
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 4: of then you kind of get it, like sho, I

984
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,879
Speaker 4: shouldn't really be feeling that, and you kind of beat

985
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 4: yourself up.

986
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: About the guilt from many frustrations as it eats you up.

987
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 4: You do you feel that sense of guilt like I

988
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 4: don't want to bloody play with you right now, mate,

989
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 4: Like I'm just not feeling great. Can you just bloody

990
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 4: piss off and go understanding? And like that, that of

991
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 4: course happens, like it's you know, I'd be lying if

992
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 4: I said, you know, you know every second I have

993
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:28,399
Speaker 4: with him the best bah blah, because it's just not true.

994
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 4: And I think it's important to talk about that that

995
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 4: even going through all this, you know, there are times

996
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 4: where you kind of you just need space from him.

997
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 4: He's just going to that age now of just being

998
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 4: that terror and he's quite an active, young, young lad,

999
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 4: and sometimes I just need a bit of that space

1000
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 4: to say, mate, like I can't deal with this right now.

1001
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 4: But that's okay too. I think it's early days with

1002
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 4: the guilt. I probably didn't talk openly enough about it,

1003
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 4: whereas now I'll talk openly to Amber and say, like, Amber,

1004
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 4: I can't deal with this right now. I'm just I'm

1005
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 4: not feeling well. Or if he comes into the hospital

1006
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 4: like he's done recently. It's funny from when he was younger,

1007
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 4: he would come in, he would line the bed with me.

1008
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 4: He was the best. He was a little chiller. Then

1009
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 4: nurses would come in.

1010
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 1: Isn't he just a perfect little thing?

1011
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 4: He would just like me, crawling around and he could

1012
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 4: be in there all day. Now he's like got a

1013
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 4: five minute window basically like the other. The other that

1014
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 4: last week, he goes into the toilet and the bathroom

1015
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 4: he's quit the emergency buzzer in the hospital and the

1016
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 4: nurse runs in, like, is everything okay? I'm yeah, I

1017
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 4: look over and ten that sort of stuff now where

1018
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 4: it's just like he comes in and it's that first

1019
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 4: five minutes, ten minutes, whatever it is, it's so good

1020
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 4: to see him and it's like it's the best thing ever.

1021
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 4: And like when he opens the hospital and he sees

1022
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 4: his dad in there, he sees big smile and he

1023
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 4: runs in. Then he knows exactly who I am, and

1024
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 4: you know, he walks down the hospital aisles and it's

1025
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 4: really cute. But then after that period it gets a

1026
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 4: little bit like you got to take him home. Yeah,

1027
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:03,279
Speaker 4: they run out, But even that's something we've identified for

1028
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 4: this big up coming up. You know, Amber's mum is

1029
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 4: going to be staying with us for a bit and

1030
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 4: supporting Amber and supporting Teddy, which is amazing for me.

1031
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 4: But it's the sort of thing. You know, they'll come in,

1032
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 4: Teddy will have his five minutes running around terror yep,

1033
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 4: give down a little cuddle, and then Amber's mum will

1034
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 4: sort of take him home and then it just means

1035
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 4: that Amber can then spend a couple of hours with me,

1036
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 4: you know, without the worrying about Teddy, and she can

1037
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 4: actually just be with me, which is so important for

1038
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 4: her and then knowing that Amber's mum's then looking after him.

1039
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 4: So we've kind of have to think about those things,

1040
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 4: you know, all our foundly living live in Adelaide, so

1041
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 4: we're just it'll be like a tag team rotation of

1042
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 4: people just coming out and helping helping Amber out. And

1043
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 4: it's it's true, they're not really there for me. It's

1044
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 4: they're there for Amber and they're for Teddy, which then

1045
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:46,879
Speaker 4: makes me feel better.

1046
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable hearing what other people have to go through,

1047
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: and your story is so important for me as a

1048
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,839
Speaker 1: bit of a wake up call to just how lucky

1049
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 1: I have it. Like this morning, for example, Laura was

1050
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: out the door really early, and I was trying to

1051
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 1: get both kids ready for daycaaren first day of school,

1052
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: and it was tricky and I was getting frustrated. And

1053
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: then at the same time, I'm sitting here as I

1054
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: hear your story, going holy fuck. You know, it really

1055
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 1: does put into perspective the minor inconveniences that I have

1056
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:17,919
Speaker 1: to deal with it in the morning with my kids,

1057
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: there's nothing compared to what you're currently going through.

1058
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 4: It's a great point to reflect on. If people are

1059
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 4: listening to this is that you're allowed to have those

1060
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 4: times of I'm not enjoying this. This is a lot

1061
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 4: like That's that's really healthy to have that, but it

1062
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,719
Speaker 4: is also a great opportunity to have those times where

1063
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 4: you can reflect on it and if you can if

1064
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 4: you can see that in the moment and go, you

1065
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 4: know what, yes, this is a lot, but geez, I'm

1066
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 4: pretty lucky that both my kids are healthy or my

1067
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 4: health is pretty good. And that perspective piece is really important.

1068
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 4: It's not to say you can't have those bad days,

1069
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 4: but sometimes just sitting there and I still even have that,

1070
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 4: you know, we just spoke about the what is I

1071
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 4: wasn't here? You know, I've connected with these amazing people

1072
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 4: who have had the really tragic stories and guys I

1073
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 4: was kind of close with who have passed away from

1074
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 4: things like cancer, and these single mums having it to

1075
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 4: go through this, And that's what I often now think about.

1076
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 4: When I can be present to Teddy and I can

1077
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 4: bar him and play with him, and you know, whether

1078
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 4: it's you're packing your kid's lunches for daycare or school,

1079
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 4: I now start to appreciate those moments so much more.

1080
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 4: And if I hadn't gone to what I've gone through,

1081
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 4: I'm sure I wouldn't be appreciating those little things as

1082
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 4: much as I do, Like the bark last night, the

1083
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 4: reading the book, those little special moments which a lot

1084
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,760
Speaker 4: of dads, a lot of parents probably take for granted.

1085
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, feeling that one look.

1086
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 4: Like I said, I'm not always you know, super positive

1087
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 4: and like happy all the time, but they are moments,

1088
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 4: those little gifts of when I'm healthy enough that I

1089
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 4: can be with Teddy and be in that And if

1090
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,399
Speaker 4: I think about it, that's the real gift, because like often,

1091
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 4: if you don't think about it, then you won't do it.

1092
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 4: But if it comes into my mind to go, Jesus

1093
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 4: is so nice that I'm here with him now, not

1094
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 4: in hospital, you know what, I'm going to give be

1095
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 4: another ten minutes. I'm going to read next a little

1096
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 4: book and just enjoy that little special moment. And it's

1097
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 4: such a small moment that can be such a boost

1098
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 4: my mental health. And I think you don't have to

1099
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 4: go through these significant health challenges to still have that

1100
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 4: thought process. You know, you can have those moments so

1101
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 4: when you feel yourself getting a little bit agitated or frustrated,

1102
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,320
Speaker 4: to just have that step back and go, you know what,

1103
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:35,919
Speaker 4: this is just part of it, and how bloody lucky

1104
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,440
Speaker 4: I am to have this little terror there because I

1105
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 4: love him so much. And if we start thinking that

1106
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 4: way more, I think it will make those moments a

1107
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:45,399
Speaker 4: little bit easier and they're still going to be there.

1108
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, But it's funny.

1109
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 2: I like, yeah, I have the same obviously, the same thing,

1110
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: like frustration for the little things, and you go, you're

1111
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 2: at that moment, you're really just you can't see the

1112
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: perspective in the moment because you're so caught up in

1113
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 2: the frustration. But I know for me, like with days

1114
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 2: that are really really bad, the thing that you know,

1115
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 2: the kids that which bring on the frustration sometimes if

1116
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 2: I will lay down and do books with them at

1117
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 2: the end of the night and actually on a bad day,

1118
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 2: it actually completely changes the whole day for me. And

1119
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 2: I subconsciously do that because I'm like, I'm not feeling

1120
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 2: my one hundred percent today mentally, I'm not all here.

1121
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,240
Speaker 5: I'm feeling bit down in the dumbs.

1122
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 2: But like we said, there's something that they can give

1123
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 2: you that nothing else can give you, even though they'll

1124
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 2: put you in that really.

1125
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 5: Bad mood anyway, it's such a weird relationship.

1126
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 4: Do you notice yourself, you know, not feeling like that

1127
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 4: every time, but do you notice that, like that, that

1128
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 4: shift in how you're feeling, where you've kind of just

1129
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 4: you know, sitting down with that book and you just

1130
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 4: have this calmness or this It just almost everything else

1131
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 4: that's happened before that moment, it's all gone.

1132
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 2: So I'll know I'm I'll know I've really had a

1133
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 2: bad day mentally when I'll lay down on one of

1134
00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 2: their beds and they're both next to me, and I'll

1135
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 2: have the book out, and then all of a sudden,

1136
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,800
Speaker 2: then I'll feel that perspective and go, Okay, well I

1137
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 2: have this and some people don't. Yes, they've pissed me

1138
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 2: off all day, but there's no one else who's going

1139
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 2: to sit with me right now, and I could I

1140
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,359
Speaker 2: could tell them how exactly how I'm feeling, and they're

1141
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 2: just going to give me a cuddle for it, And

1142
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 2: that changes everything.

1143
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 1: When you pick up a book, oscars like, oh, Dad's

1144
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 1: at a shockup.

1145
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 4: It's a really short book. I'm here for your but

1146
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 4: that that is mindfulness, right, Like I think people sometimes

1147
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 4: over complicate things and I don't do enough for my

1148
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 4: mental health or you know, I don't bloody do anything

1149
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 4: for my mindfulness, and don't bloody meditate or do hot yoga.

1150
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 4: But even those moments of reflection in yourself and being

1151
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 4: in that present moment and just not thinking about the

1152
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 4: other things that's happened before then, or thinking too far

1153
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 4: into what's going to happen tomorrow, you're in that present

1154
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 4: moment like that is mindfulness. And that is a really

1155
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 4: great thing that often people don't even know doing it

1156
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 4: and they go, that's a really great tool to have.

1157
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 4: But I think people people do that sort of stuff

1158
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 4: and they just think like, oh, it's just.

1159
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 1: What I do.

1160
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 4: But that's a really important thing to do more of

1161
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 4: than if you're in a situation where you find yourself

1162
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 4: starting a spiral, if you're thinking of you know, well,

1163
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 4: we've just gone through a miscarriage, I've got this upcoming

1164
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 4: treatment which is really high risk, and you know, I

1165
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 4: can't spend time with Teddy like I want to.

1166
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,839
Speaker 1: If you are spiraling, how do you put yourself out

1167
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 1: of the dumps?

1168
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and this it takes it takes a bit of practice,

1169
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 4: Like it it takes time to get to a stage

1170
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 4: where you can actually firstly acknowledge that it's happening. That's

1171
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 4: that's the key. If you could acknowledge it's happening, You've

1172
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 4: then got that choice in that moment to do something.

1173
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:45,800
Speaker 4: It's when you can't really notice it happening and it

1174
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 4: just gets worse, worse than its spirals. So for me,

1175
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 4: I've got a lot better at noticing when I can

1176
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 4: feel the mood. I can feel the anger, the y

1177
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 4: me this sucks, the frustration, and I can really feel

1178
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 4: that coming the two things I do. Now I'm more

1179
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 4: open with Amber about it. I used to just kind

1180
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 4: of keep it to myself. Would go for our morning walk,

1181
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 4: so we get the coffee, and like, I'd just be

1182
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 4: in this just not a really pleasant mood, and I'd

1183
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 4: often use my anger and what I was feeling. I'd

1184
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,720
Speaker 4: often take it out, you know, on her in ways

1185
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 4: of where it was just me just being a bit

1186
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:19,239
Speaker 4: you know, I guess angry and short and just frustrated.

1187
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 4: You know. It was never anything you know, physical or

1188
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 4: anything like that. It was more just the that the

1189
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 4: how I was my mood. And now I'm a lot

1190
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,919
Speaker 4: better at saying Amber, I'm just feeling this. I don't

1191
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 4: know why. I'm just feeling this this vent, this built

1192
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 4: up frustration with everything. I'm just over it all. I

1193
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 4: don't want to have this surgery. I'm just And then

1194
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 4: it's just even just talking to her about it does

1195
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 4: so much. It's a simple thing like that. So now

1196
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 4: I just talk to her, communicate and our big one

1197
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 4: for us is trying to start the day off with

1198
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 4: something that's really simple that can just distract me a

1199
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 4: little bit. And for us, it's going for that morning

1200
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 4: walk and just keeping the routine. Because even when you're

1201
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 4: going through I've had a really bad night, I've got

1202
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 4: up ten times throughout the night, a lot of pain.

1203
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 4: You know, an analysis, You're sure you're up for a walk,

1204
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 4: and I said, yeah, absolutely. We take our dogs. We

1205
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 4: take Teddy in his little trick or his little Pram,

1206
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 4: and we get little baby China, and the Bristol knows

1207
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 4: your coffee order and she smiles at Teddy, and you

1208
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 4: go to the park and you throw the ball around

1209
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 4: for the dogs. In that fifteen minute little period, I've

1210
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 4: just kind of escaped for a bit. It's just made

1211
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:22,720
Speaker 4: me feel a little bit better, a bit more calm.

1212
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 4: And I get home and I'm just that little bit

1213
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,839
Speaker 4: better mood than I was before we went for that walk.

1214
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 4: And it's such a simple thing, but for us that

1215
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 4: really helps.

1216
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 1: It really is, And it's annoying because it's the things

1217
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 1: you take for granted, you know, and it really it's

1218
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 1: just like what keeps you going, going for a walk

1219
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: and getting a coffee with my family?

1220
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 5: What's so minor.

1221
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 4: It has such a big impact, But it's not until

1222
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 4: you go through. Like I said, I've recently been in

1223
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 4: hospital about to go and again when you're there for

1224
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,439
Speaker 4: quite a long time. The things that I love most

1225
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:55,760
Speaker 4: in hospital is like the hot, hot shower for example,

1226
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 4: Like majority of people that you guys have a shower

1227
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 4: this morning and just stand there and just like enjoy

1228
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 4: every second of that shower and just thought, this is

1229
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 4: the best shower in the world. And you took an

1230
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 4: extra five minutes in there because you're liking it so much,

1231
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 4: and it's all you could think about was that shower.

1232
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 4: Probably not like sometimes we do have those mornings and

1233
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,800
Speaker 4: it's a bit cold, and you do think for the

1234
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 4: most part, we just kind of you have the shower,

1235
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 4: you think about something in the shower that's annoying. You,

1236
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:20,800
Speaker 4: you get out, you have a shave or whatever, and

1237
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 4: kids are doing something and you just let those little

1238
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 4: moments just we have lots of little moments about the day.

1239
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 4: They just escape us. But it's not until you're in

1240
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 4: hospital and you're in a lot of discomfort, and the

1241
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 4: one thing I look forward to in that morning where

1242
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 4: I'm just sitting in the chair having that shower and

1243
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 4: this like the warmth goes on me and I just

1244
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 4: escape for that little period and I feel I'm paying free,

1245
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 4: I'm warm, and often ambers like go on hard you've

1246
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:53,600
Speaker 4: been in there for a while. It's like I just

1247
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 4: want more of that. But like it's like they're things

1248
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 4: that everyone does daily, they take for granted, but it's

1249
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 4: not often until you go through something or something's taken

1250
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 4: away from you where you start to appreciate things more.

1251
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,320
Speaker 4: So for me, it's like, how can I still have that,

1252
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 4: you know, that same level of thinking, that mindset when

1253
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 4: I'm not in hospital, And I can start doing that

1254
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,280
Speaker 4: when I'm home and just doing more of those little

1255
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 4: things because you do enough of them and they start

1256
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 4: to add up and you realize, like, holy shit, this morning,

1257
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 4: I had that beautiful shower. I did get the coffee

1258
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 4: at the brist I was able to go for that

1259
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 4: walk and didn't have too much discomfort or pain. Like already,

1260
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 4: there are things most people rush through or they don't

1261
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 4: really enjoy that, But rushing right through all that, you

1262
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 4: rush remember any of it. So next time tomorrow morning,

1263
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 4: I will when you're having a shower, feeling your balls,

1264
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 4: any lumps or bumps, maybe while you're in there, just

1265
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 4: having that reual that five minutes to yourself and going

1266
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 4: how nice is this hot shower and you see the

1267
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 4: steam go up and it's really nice, and just enjoying that.

1268
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 4: Try that tomorrow and just see.

1269
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 5: That until it's the knock at the door.

1270
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 4: That's amazing.

1271
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 5: What are you doing?

1272
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: I know that so many people listening as well, off

1273
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 1: the back of this conversation really going to appreciate the

1274
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: really find a simple things in life for.

1275
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 5: Sure which they would have overlooked.

1276
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 1: And one question that we end on, Hugo, is one

1277
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 1: that I'm going to throw at you right now, when

1278
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 1: Teddy is all grown up and he's no longer living

1279
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: at home, what would be the one thing that you

1280
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 1: you want him to remember about the house that he

1281
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: grew up in. I love that question.

1282
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:23,479
Speaker 4: I want him to always look back at the house

1283
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 4: that he grew up in and being where we are

1284
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 4: now with just that love in the household and the

1285
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 4: happiness and the laughter and that you know, playing with

1286
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 4: his dogs or you know that the memories that we're

1287
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 4: making now that seem pretty trivial. I want him to

1288
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 4: look back at those times is you know, really enjoyable

1289
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 4: times for him. And I want him to grow up

1290
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 4: in that. You know, even now if I'm not there

1291
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 4: for periods of time, to just wake up each day

1292
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:52,840
Speaker 4: and have a smile on his face and lots of

1293
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 4: laughter and giggles, and we try to give that to him.

1294
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 4: The dogs give that to him. But you know, there's

1295
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 4: nothing better when you can just see him in such

1296
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 4: a happy me And I want him to always remember that. Yes,

1297
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 4: there are times in this stage of his life that

1298
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 4: he probably can't remember, but there might be times that

1299
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 4: he does remember. They're not so good, parts of Dad

1300
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 4: not being there or Dad's in hospital, and you know,

1301
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 4: instead of looking at as a negative, actually really focusing

1302
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 4: for him looking back on a really memorable time for him. So, yeah,

1303
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 4: the happiness, the laughter, That's what I want him to

1304
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 4: always look.

1305
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 5: Back on HUGO.

1306
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,240
Speaker 2: I want to say thank you for coming on and

1307
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 2: being brave and everything you do for mental health, being

1308
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 2: an advocate, getting people to talk about it, getting people

1309
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 2: to think about their health as.

1310
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 5: More than just mah.

1311
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 4: You know.

1312
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 5: So I want to thank you for spending some time

1313
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 5: with us and making that cry. I really appreciate that.

1314
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 4: I love what you do. It's such an important podcast

1315
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 4: because you know, you have that humor. You know, you

1316
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 4: have a really great way of communicating the things that

1317
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 4: often we don't talk about as parents. And for me

1318
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,959
Speaker 4: being a little part of this, you know, hopefully people

1319
00:59:57,040 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 4: listening can take something away from it. So I appreciate

1320
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 4: you guys giving me the opportunity, especially with a lot

1321
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 4: going on at the moment. It's even this chat's given

1322
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,280
Speaker 4: me a bit of a boost to think, how good

1323
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 4: is that. You know, I was in hospital last week,

1324
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 4: I'm sitting here chatting to you two guys, you know,

1325
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 4: opening up, being vulnerable, having a bit of a laugh.

1326
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:17,479
Speaker 4: It means a lot to me too, So thanks lads,

1327
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 4: you go.

1328
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 1: I mean every word when I say you are an

1329
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 1: incredible human And I can't tell you how much I

1330
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 1: appreciate your time this morning. I love chatting with you.

1331
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 1: Your surgery coming up is when?

1332
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 4: So I'm not sure when this party will be released,

1333
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 4: but nineteenth of August, in four weeks today from the recording,

1334
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 4: is that the big op. So I don't know when

1335
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:40,080
Speaker 4: this will come out. I might be in hospital, but yeah,

1336
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 4: I've got four weeks now to just try and get

1337
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 4: myself in a pretty pretty good place.

1338
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 5: You'll wake up at matt Night were there with the mic.

1339
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 1: We're thinking of you and we'll definitely keep it a

1340
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 1: listeners updated post surgery. So thanks again.

1341
01:00:53,720 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 6: Thanks what a man, Matthew, What a man, and what

1342
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 6: a chat and.

1343
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 1: The great charity as well. Twenty five stay Alive dot

1344
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 1: com is the website. Their mission is to make health

1345
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 1: checks from twenty five a normal part of life through prevention,

1346
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 1: early detection, and action.

1347
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 2: If you want to get involved or donate, we'll leave

1348
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 2: the link in our show notes of the episode.

1349
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 1: There's some great undies that you can buy on the

1350
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 1: website and a few hoodies as well. You might see

1351
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:26,480
Speaker 1: us wearing the hoodies. They're not yet available, but as

1352
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: soon as they are we'll let you guys know.

1353
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 2: If you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review, subscribe,

1354
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 2: join us. On social media, we're at Matt.

1355
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads. There is a Facebook group, there is

1356
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 1: an Instagram account, and there is also TikTok. Well said, hey,

1357
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 1: there is there is the chance. Not right now, not

1358
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:47,760
Speaker 1: next week, but maybe the week after.

1359
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 5: Wow.

1360
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 1: Yes, Jess is.

1361
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 5: Looking at me going for God's sake, boys, let's let's

1362
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 5: do it.

1363
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 1: Let's get it together doing long form video on YouTube.

1364
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that's right.

1365
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 1: We're working on it. It's not able just yet, but

1366
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 1: it will be.

1367
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 5: We're working tirelessly.

1368
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 1: That just relentless.

1369
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 5: I know we are relentlessly working, just doing nothing. Can

1370
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 5: you please keep the game?

1371
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 4: Okay, bye bye.

1372
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1373
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:26,800
Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

1374
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 5: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1375
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 5: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

1376
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:33,520
Speaker 5: people's today