1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: What's your relationship like with failure. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 2: I mean, I know lots of people talk about being 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 2: good with it and seeing it as an opportunity to learn. 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 1: From you know, etc. Etc. But really, if we're. 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 2: Being honest, failure kind of sucks and most people are 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 2: not that great at dealing with it. So today's show 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: is a bit more personal than the average How I 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 2: Work episode, and I want to share some of my 9 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 2: failures with you. But there's a reason why I want 10 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 2: to do this, and I also have a personal challenge 11 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 2: for you. My name is doctor Ramantha Imber. I'm an 12 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 2: organizational psychologist and the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium, 13 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 2: and this is How I Work. 14 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: A show about how to help you do your best work. 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 2: A few years ago, my team at Inventium completed a 16 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 2: strength Finder assessment. I expected my report to tell me 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 2: that my top strength was something like time optimization, as 18 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 2: a similar test had revealed many years ago, or creativity 19 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 2: or some other skill that I utilize every day. But no, 20 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 2: Apparently my number one strength was competitiveness. Although this would 21 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 2: come as no surprise to anyone that's played Settlers of 22 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 2: Katan against me. My first memories of being competitive are 23 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 2: from primary school. But in addition to being competitive, I 24 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 2: was also a perfectionist. If an essay came back with 25 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 2: an AID, I would feel disappointed that the plus was missing, 26 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 2: And if I wasn't the first to finish a maths quiz, 27 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 2: I would question my numerical ability, and if I didn't 28 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 2: top the class in all academic assignments, I would feel 29 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 2: like a failure. In primary school, Bonnie Smart was my 30 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 2: arch nemesis, and she lived up to her name. I 31 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 2: felt like we were the only two people who existed 32 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: in our class, and whenever she beat me, I felt devastated. 33 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 2: The mix of perfectionism and competitiveness can be a winning 34 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 2: combination for career progression, not to mention getting good grades 35 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 2: at school, it's not great for dealing with failure and setbacks. 36 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 2: Growing up, I prided myself on winning and being successful. 37 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 2: Failure was not part of my self identity. I was 38 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 2: used to succeeding at anything that I put my mind to, 39 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 2: which of course means that when failure does arrive, it 40 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 2: hits you hard. My natural inclination was to hide my failures. 41 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 2: My failures embarrassed me because I thought they meant I 42 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 2: was a lesser person, like if people knew about my failures, 43 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: surely their positive impressions of me would be destroyed. Through 44 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,119 Speaker 2: the work that I do it behavioral science, consultancy, invent him, 45 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 2: I see so many people struggle with failure, wanting to 46 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 2: hide it, punish it, deny it, and no good can 47 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 2: come of this. The best way to learn is to fail. 48 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 2: And when we start to talk about our failures openly 49 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: rather than repress them, we actually increase our resilience. So 50 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 2: Harvard's psychology professor Daniel Wegner coined the term ironic mental processes. 51 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 2: Through a series of experiments, he found that when people 52 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 2: try to suppress certain thoughts and emotion that actually resurface 53 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 2: more intensely than before. So, for example, psychology professor Jennifer 54 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 2: Borten and her colleagues found that when we ignore doubts 55 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: about ourselves, self esteem declines and anxiety rises. So Wegner 56 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 2: argued that we need to stop suppressing negative thoughts and 57 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 2: emotions and instead express them, and ironically, doing so should 58 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 2: increase resilience and self belief, which is where a failure 59 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: resume comes into play. 60 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: So I wrote. 61 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: My very first failure resume, a part of an experiment 62 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 2: in twenty twenty, but now as we head towards the 63 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 2: finish line of twenty twenty one, I've revisited it and 64 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 2: I'm sharing a new version with repidation. Once more so, 65 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 2: I challenged myself to be more raw, more open, and 66 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 2: pick some even more devastating and recent failures. So here 67 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 2: are some big ones from the last few years, and 68 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 2: I'd love to see yours if your game. 69 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 1: Failure. 70 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: Number one linking my achievements to my self worth nineteen 71 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 2: eighty four, when I was about seven years old to 72 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 2: the present. Now, you don't have to be a psychologist 73 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 2: to recognize that I had a serious case of achievement 74 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 2: derived self worth. Now this is not a propher psychological term, 75 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 2: but it sounds like it could be. Whenever I would 76 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 2: accomplish something new, I felt and still feel, the strong 77 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 2: urge to tell other people and lots of other people 78 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 2: about what I've just done. And I tell them not 79 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 2: to brag, but because I believe it will make them 80 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 2: like me more. And as someone who cares too much 81 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 2: about what other people think, I really want people to 82 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 2: like me as much as possible, and obviously saying this 83 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: out loud, I can see how flawed this reasoning is, 84 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 2: but I still do it. So here's what I learned 85 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 2: from failiure number one. A couple of years ago, I 86 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 2: read a Seth Godin blog that said confidence is a choice, 87 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 2: not a symptom, and it dawned on me that I 88 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: didn't need to achieve certain things to feel confident and worthwhile, 89 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 2: especially in my life. And while I'm making progress on 90 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 2: this failure, it's been slow. It's hard to change something 91 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 2: that's been hard wired for decades. But here is some 92 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 2: evidence of change. I went for a walk with a 93 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 2: close friend a couple of weeks ago and he asked 94 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 2: me how I was doing. I said, relieve, because I'd 95 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 2: just submitted the first draft of my book to my publisher, 96 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 2: all seventy two thousand words. 97 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: His response was, what book? 98 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 2: So I had completely failed, not consciously to mention that 99 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 2: I'd been off at a book deal with Penguin six 100 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 2: months prior. 101 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: Yay wit. 102 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 2: Although sharing this win feels like I might have missed 103 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 2: the point of this learning, Okay. Failiure number two not 104 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 2: having the courage to leave my marriage sooner twenty nineteen. 105 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 2: On August twenty five, twenty nineteen, I left my partner 106 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 2: of thirteen years. No big event had precipitated the decision. 107 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 2: There were no affairs, no abuse, nothing especially newsworthy. There 108 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 2: was just a gradual realization that were not particularly compatible 109 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 2: as human beings. The most devastating part of this decision 110 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 2: has becoming a single mother and now only seeing my 111 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 2: daughter half of that time. So while to my friends 112 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 2: and family the decision seemed sudden, it was a decision 113 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: that was used in the making, but fear kept me 114 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 2: in a sub optimal relationship for years past its du date, 115 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 2: and two years on I can say with certainty that 116 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 2: I'm far happier on this side of the fence. So 117 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 2: what I learned is that being scared to do something 118 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 2: that feels really big is not a good enough reason 119 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 2: to not do it. The scariest and hardest decisions can 120 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 2: often be the most rewarding. And while I stayed for 121 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 2: longer than I should have because of my daughter, role 122 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 2: modeling a substandard relationship to your child, to our children 123 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 2: is not helpful role modeling all right. Failure number three 124 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 2: wearing a mask to work twenty nineteen to twenty twenty one. So, 125 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 2: following on from the aforementioned failure. Perhaps if you've been 126 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,119 Speaker 2: through a similar situation, you'll know that the first couple 127 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 2: of years out of a marriage can be pretty rough, 128 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 2: and you know with everything that there is to navigate 129 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 2: and separate. My default setting is to be open with 130 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 2: my team, but during this time I felt the need 131 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 2: to hide my stress from my workmates and keep it 132 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 2: to myself. I didn't want to be a burden or 133 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 2: bring the mood down. In some instances, this credit a 134 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 2: necessary distance between me and my teammates, and there were 135 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 2: many days where it was beyond exhausting to maintain. And 136 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 2: I'm totally okay if it's sad, when I really wasn't. 137 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 2: So what I learned from this Looking back, I question 138 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 2: the cost of not being truly real about what I 139 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 2: was experiencing outside of work. I felt really protective of 140 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 2: my team and I didn't want to dump my stress 141 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 2: on them, But going to the other extreme where I 142 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 2: tried to make light of what was some really heavy 143 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 2: things I was going through, probably wasn't super healthy either. 144 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 2: So I'd like to think that in the future I 145 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: would and could drop the mask and just show up 146 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 2: one hundred percent as me, and by doing so, I 147 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 2: suspect that my own mental health and my relationships with 148 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 2: my team would be all the better for it. And 149 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 2: I should add that seeking support from a brilliant clinical 150 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 2: psychologist was critical for me in making it through this time. 151 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 2: I saw him weekly during the hardest times, and I 152 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 2: still see him once a fortnight. Okay, the next failure 153 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 2: I want to share concealing my miscarriage from my Inventium team. 154 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 2: Back in twenty thirteen, So, when I was eighteen years old, 155 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 2: I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome or PEACOS for short. 156 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 2: PIACOS is one of the leading courses of infertility, so 157 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 2: I never assumed that I'd be able to have children, 158 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 2: even though I was sure that I wanted to have 159 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 2: one during this life time. So when I fell pregnant 160 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 2: very easily in early twenty thirteen, I was beside myself 161 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: with joy, and in the nine weeks that my body 162 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 2: spent growing a little person, I spent hundreds of hours 163 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 2: imagining the life that this yet to be born human 164 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 2: would have. When we went for a scan at nine weeks, 165 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 2: the obstetrician told us that the feeders had stopped growing 166 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 2: several weeks ago. Two days later, I went in for 167 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 2: a DNC to have this little person removed from my body. 168 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 2: The grief hit me like a landslide, but because no 169 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 2: one at work knew I was even pregnant, I went 170 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 2: straight back into the office as if nothing had happened. 171 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 2: What I learned from this is that hiding something as 172 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,199 Speaker 2: life shattering as a miscarriage helps no one. I've since 173 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,319 Speaker 2: talked openly about it with my team on various occasions, 174 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 2: and hope that doing so normal as is the experience, 175 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 2: so that we no longer have to feel shame about 176 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 2: miscarriages and hired our grief to people who we spend 177 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 2: so much time with. The last failure that I want 178 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 2: to share is putting unrealistic expectations on myself in my 179 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 2: role as a mum twenty fourteen to present. In February 180 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 2: twenty fourteen, my daughter Frankie came into the world. 181 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 1: My life and priorities shifted. 182 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 2: Enormously as most of my energy pre Frankie had been 183 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 2: poured into my work. A couple of years into this 184 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 2: new role, I became more aware of the expectations I 185 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 2: placed on myself as a mother. Because I was a 186 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 2: working mum, I felt an edit to overcompensate. Whenever I 187 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 2: was with Frankie, the unwritten rule I had was to 188 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,840 Speaker 2: be one hundred percent present and interacting with her one 189 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: hundred percent of the time. It was exhausting, and I 190 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 2: was constantly falling short of this expectation and beating myself 191 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 2: up about it. If I took my daughter to a 192 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 2: cafe for breakfast and I spent a couple of minutes 193 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 2: having a quick read of the weekend paper, I would 194 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 2: immediately tell myself off and redirect my full attention back 195 00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 2: to Frankie. I identified with being an overachiever in my 196 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 2: working life, and naturally this expectation had transferred itself to motherhood. 197 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 2: I always felt like I could be doing a better job, 198 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 2: paying more attention, coming up with more stimulating activities, and 199 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: baking better cakes. 200 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: No just kidding, I don't really bake. 201 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 2: And when I did direct my attention somewhere other than Frankie, 202 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 2: such as inter reading the weekend paper, I would feel 203 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 2: guilty for the pleasure that this gave me, because surely 204 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 2: the most pleasurable activity when you are a parent is 205 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 2: spending quality time with your children all the time. It 206 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 2: took me another few years in a conversation with my 207 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 2: therapist to realize that this behavior was not normal. In 208 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 2: schema therapy, I score high on unrelenting standards. This is 209 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 2: to find as the underlying belief that one must strive 210 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 2: to meet very high internalized standards of behavior and performance, 211 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 2: usually to avoid criticism. Easy to diagnose, harder to change. 212 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: So here's what I learned. I know that I can 213 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 2: have ridiculously high standards for my work, but I was 214 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 2: completely unaware that these standards were also imposing themselves on 215 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 2: my role as a mum. So over the years, and 216 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 2: at least on some days, I've slowly started to relax 217 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 2: the expectations I have of myself as a mother. I 218 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 2: now sometimes allow myself to just do my own thing 219 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 2: well Frankie does hers and as I talk to you 220 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 2: about this, So, I worry that this may make me 221 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: sound like a bad mother. I worry that maybe I'll 222 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 2: be judged by other mothers who are one hundred percent 223 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 2: present for their children one hundred percent of the time, 224 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 2: because they. 225 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: Exist, don't they. 226 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,359 Speaker 2: And I find it really hard to balance my overwhelming 227 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 2: need to be the best mum in the world with 228 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 2: also being kind to myself, which doesn't come naturally. 229 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: It is a constant battle, but one in which I 230 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: think I'm. 231 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 2: Making progress slowly, and in spite of all this, surprise, surprise, 232 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 2: Frankie is still thriving. So that's my failure resume. And 233 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 2: here is my challenge for you. Set aside, say thirty 234 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 2: minutes this week to write your failure resumet think hard 235 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 2: over the last few years, what have been your biggest 236 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: failures It worked maybe in your non work life as well. 237 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 2: And then I challenge you to share it with a 238 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,719 Speaker 2: few people close to you. Maybe you might even want 239 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 2: to share it via your socials like I'll be doing 240 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 2: with mine, which is scary, I know. And if you 241 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 2: do decide to share it, make sure you tag me 242 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 2: in the post because I'd love to read it and 243 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 2: I hope you find this process helpful. You can find 244 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 2: me on the socials, on LinkedIn Atamantha Imba and on 245 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 2: Instagram Atamantha I and on Twitter at Amantha. How I 246 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 2: Work is produced by Inventium with production support from Dead 247 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 2: Set Studios, and thank you to Martin Nimba who does 248 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 2: the audio mix and makes everything sound better than it 249 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 2: would have otherwise. I'll see you next time.