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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the pot.

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Speaker 1: This is episode one thousand of the Happy Family Podcast,

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Speaker 1: so we're taking over.

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Speaker 3: Hi, this is Craig Bruce, the executive producer of the

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Speaker 3: Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 4: Hang on, where's Justin and Kyley? Good question.

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Speaker 3: Well, this is episode one thousand of the Happy Families podcast,

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Speaker 3: so we've given them some wee time with the kids

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Speaker 3: as a little bonus whilst we reflect on the last

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Speaker 3: one thousand episodes in Australia's leading parents and podcast.

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Speaker 4: All right, where should we start?

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Speaker 3: Well, the podcast was chugging along for one hundred and

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Speaker 3: thirty three episodes with Justin before he decided to bring

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Speaker 3: in a co host to help share the load, and

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Speaker 3: he didn't need to look far to find the right person.

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Speaker 5: I'm not going to do this podcast on my own anymore,

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Speaker 5: and I'm so honored and so excited to be able

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Speaker 5: to introduce somebody who I simply adore as my co

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Speaker 5: host for the Happy Families podcast. Her name is missus

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Speaker 5: Happy Families. It's Kylie Coulson, my wife. She's agreed, Kylie,

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Speaker 5: welcome to the Happy Famili's podcast.

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Speaker 2: Thank you very much.

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Speaker 6: Now, what's the trickiest thing that you think that you've faced.

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Speaker 5: As a mum, learning to let go, let go of who.

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Speaker 2: Or let go of what, Learning to recognize that our

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Speaker 2: children need to have the space to make their decisions

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Speaker 2: for themselves, whether they would be decisions we would make

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Speaker 2: for them or not, and giving them the space to

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Speaker 2: do it and love them in spite of the decisions

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Speaker 2: they make or because of the decisions they make.

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Speaker 3: And very quickly Kylie became recognized as having one of

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Speaker 3: the biggest hearts in podcasting.

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Speaker 7: The conversations that I have with mums time and time again,

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Speaker 7: isn't the fact that we resent doing any of those

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Speaker 7: things right, it's the fact that those things don't light

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Speaker 7: us up.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, those things.

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Speaker 7: Are a necessity for our lives to function.

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Speaker 6: How do you find yourself again?

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Speaker 5: How do you find yourself if you're feeling lost, regardless

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Speaker 5: of whether it's through employment or through being a stay

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Speaker 5: at home parent, How do you find yourself?

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Speaker 7: For me, it's accepting that I just might fail. I

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Speaker 7: might not find it at first go around. I might

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Speaker 7: not find the thing that lights me up, because the

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Speaker 7: reality is the things that lit me up as a

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Speaker 7: twenty year old, yeah, they don't light me up anymore,

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Speaker 7: they're no longer challenging to me, or they're no longer

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Speaker 7: of interest to me. What are the things that mean

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Speaker 7: the most to me? What are my priorities, and what

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Speaker 7: are the things that I stand for? And as I

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Speaker 7: started to think about those things and really kind of

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Speaker 7: live into those values, I realized that again privileged decision

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Speaker 7: that I'm able to make.

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Speaker 2: This was a want and not a need. And right

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Speaker 2: now my family.

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Speaker 7: Needs me, and I need you and you need me.

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Speaker 7: And that was still hard even coming to that realization

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Speaker 7: for myself, that was hard to sit with for a

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Speaker 7: few days. What I found is that the longer I

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Speaker 7: sat there this suffocating feeling that I had been experiencing

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Speaker 7: as I was trying to work out how I could

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Speaker 7: do it all, you know, how I could be the

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Speaker 7: mum that I want to be and the wife that

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Speaker 7: I want to be, and be where I need to be,

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Speaker 7: but do something I want to do. I couldn't physically

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Speaker 7: do it all, and so I had to make a

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Speaker 7: decision about what was most important to me, and at

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Speaker 7: the end of the day, my want it's at the

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Speaker 7: bottom of the list, because I will pick my family every.

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Speaker 3: Day, happy, families became this wonderful combination of Kylie's big

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Speaker 3: heart and Justin's big brain.

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Speaker 5: Our job there is not just to connect with them

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Speaker 5: and help them to feel safe emotionally, but it's also

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Speaker 5: to let them know that we.

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Speaker 6: Believe in their capacity. And so as we say this

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Speaker 6: is really.

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Speaker 5: Hard, are you're really worried, or I get what's going

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Speaker 5: on for you, I can see it.

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Speaker 6: Come here and be close to me and let me

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Speaker 6: give you a hug.

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Speaker 5: We promote competence and capability beliefs, and you think about.

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Speaker 6: It that in a voice.

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Speaker 5: Imagine if you've got an inn a voice that believes

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Speaker 5: in you by saying things like you've got this, or

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Speaker 5: I believe in you, or there is a way forward

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Speaker 5: and you know how to get there. It's about having

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Speaker 5: that conversation with them where you're expressing a belief in

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Speaker 5: their ability to get things right.

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Speaker 7: I'm curious, if we're not responsible for our kids happiness,

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Speaker 7: what are we responsible for?

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Speaker 5: Doctor course, The first thing I'm going to say is

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Speaker 5: that we're responsible for teaching our children to find their

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Speaker 5: own happiness. And they're most likely to find it not

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Speaker 5: by searching for it if we do things because we

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Speaker 5: think they're going to make us happy. We will often

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Speaker 5: not always, but we will often be disappointed.

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Speaker 3: Now, if you're starting to think we're all serious all

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Speaker 3: the time, think again.

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Speaker 7: You don't wear lycra on lycra. I ended up with

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Speaker 7: a front weggie and a backwedgie and it was not pretty.

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Speaker 7: And the whole time I was running, all I could

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Speaker 7: think about was, I don't know what's worse, watching someone

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Speaker 7: run with a weggie that's not supposed to be there

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Speaker 7: or watching someone pick out the weggie that shouldn't be there.

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Speaker 5: It was horrible. So, oh gosh, that's I thought that

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Speaker 5: you were sore because of the running, but you saw

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Speaker 5: from the wedgies.

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Speaker 4: I think we're just given them way too much information.

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Speaker 6: And I slided off the roof. I tried to grab

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Speaker 6: the gun out, but slid.

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Speaker 7: You make it sound like it was it was planned.

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Speaker 6: What happened.

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Speaker 7: You actually fell off the.

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Speaker 6: Roof, but I slid off the roof.

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Speaker 7: So when you finally came to me, because you're on

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Speaker 7: the far side of the house, so I didn't even

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Speaker 7: hear you on the roof, let alone here you fall

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Speaker 7: off the.

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Speaker 5: Roof, Well, I didn't make a lot of noise when

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Speaker 5: I fell, I kind of went, oh no, and then

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Speaker 5: I slid off the roof.

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Speaker 6: You keep saying I fell, I slid off the.

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Speaker 7: Roof, Grease, Grease, I got you the Multiplian. We took

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Speaker 7: my sister to the was it the twenty year anniversary? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she was twelve.

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Speaker 7: We just gotten married and she was staying with us,

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Speaker 7: and we took her to Greece and my mom was mortified.

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Speaker 6: It's not as innocent as it seems.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 7: I was sitting in there, and as a now married woman,

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Speaker 7: knowing every innuendo and where it was leading, and I

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Speaker 7: was thinking.

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Speaker 4: My goodness, me, my sister's only twelve.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, what are my daughters posed to her friend?

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Speaker 4: You can use my virgin Yeah, it's nice to know

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Speaker 4: it's good for something. As a kid, all I remembered

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Speaker 4: was the music.

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Speaker 7: I didn't know any of that stuff.

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Speaker 3: Through one thousand episodes of the podcast, we've shared all

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Speaker 3: the highs and lows of family life, from saying goodbye

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Speaker 3: to another bird from the nest.

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Speaker 5: You raise these kids for twenty years or eighteen years

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Speaker 5: or whatever ends up being, and then one day they

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Speaker 5: push off out of the world, and it's really sad.

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Speaker 5: In so many ways to see them go. Even as

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Speaker 5: we talk about it now, I'm affected by it, but

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Speaker 5: it's also thrilling. It's so exciting to see these kids.

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Speaker 5: We send our heart into the world and off they go, and.

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Speaker 6: She's doing it. She's living her life now.

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Speaker 5: It's like that little bird that got pushed out of

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Speaker 5: the nest and it started to fly.

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Speaker 4: To saying goodbye to the goodest boy.

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Speaker 6: And the vet was so good.

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Speaker 5: They lit a candle out in the front office just

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Speaker 5: which basically said, if there's a candle burning, someone's saying

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Speaker 5: goodbye to a pet.

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Speaker 6: They sat with us, We put Benson on his blanket, They.

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Speaker 5: Gave him a catheter and then put a muscle relaxant

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Speaker 5: into the catheter, and he just laid there for a

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Speaker 5: couple of minutes, really peaceful, really really relaxed, and I

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Speaker 5: felt like we were I mean, we were so sad

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Speaker 5: and we were doing okay though until that moment when Emily,

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Speaker 5: our seven year old, she had decided at the last

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Speaker 5: minute that she didn't want.

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Speaker 4: To be in the room, and.

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Speaker 5: Then she changed her mind once she was out in

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Speaker 5: the foyer on her own and she came back into

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Speaker 5: the room and saw Benson laying there and just in

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Speaker 5: this big, tearful outburst, she said goodbye, Benson, and.

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Speaker 6: I gave you this great big hug, and oh boy,

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Speaker 6: it was tough. It was just so tough.

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Speaker 3: Yes, there was some sad endings and some beautiful beginnings.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so then this happens.

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Speaker 7: You read there, So our eldest daughter has made it.

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Speaker 8: Official, dad, and I'm going to be having a baby

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Speaker 8: here in September.

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Speaker 7: Chaos ensued following her announcement.

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Speaker 6: Why what are you crying?

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Speaker 5: So everyone's crying except one of the kids, our nineteen

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Speaker 5: year old, the Museoh, the one who is so in

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Speaker 5: touch with her feelings?

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Speaker 6: Why are you she's crying?

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Speaker 4: Why not crying?

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Speaker 8: Why are you all crying?

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Speaker 9: You're all crying?

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Speaker 10: What the heck?

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Speaker 7: And in case you're still wondering what the heck is

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Speaker 7: going on right now, our son in law made it

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Speaker 7: extremely clear, a baby.

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Speaker 6: What are you most excited about?

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Speaker 9: I think I'm just most excited that she wants to

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Speaker 9: include me in the process.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, and that I.

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Speaker 7: Actually get to be with her side by side. In

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Speaker 7: so many ways, it feels like reliving some of my

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Speaker 7: own experiences, and yet it's an out of body experience

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Speaker 7: because it's not mine, it's hers and it's different, and

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Speaker 7: being able to share with her some of the really

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Speaker 7: hard learned lessons that I learned way too late and

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Speaker 7: desperately want her to learn now and take care of

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Speaker 7: herself and.

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Speaker 9: Nurture and support herself and be able to ask for

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Speaker 9: what she needs because it was something that I really

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Speaker 9: struggled with as a young man.

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Speaker 4: And the circle of life continues.

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Speaker 6: What's something that Mum always says to you.

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Speaker 11: We'll have a choice, Annie, what are you going to choose?

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Speaker 2: Ah?

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Speaker 11: Well, we have a family motto, which is choose the

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Speaker 11: right dealer and trust in God with all our might,

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Speaker 11: which is one of the things that she says nearly

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Speaker 11: every single day. Another one is I love you. But

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Speaker 11: my personal favorite is when I have problems with my

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Speaker 11: body and how I look and I tell Mama, I

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Speaker 11: just don't really feel pretty today, She'll go, oh, Ella.

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Speaker 7: Stop it.

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Speaker 11: You've got the best bomb ever. Don't say that stuff.

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Speaker 11: Your bomb is awesome.

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Speaker 1: I love you. Clean up your room, Lily, it's a

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Speaker 1: pig sty.

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Speaker 10: You're amazing.

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Speaker 1: No matter what anyone says, trust.

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Speaker 2: In the timing, it'll all work out the way it's

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Speaker 2: supposed to.

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Speaker 10: It's not necessarily she says something. But whether she was

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Speaker 10: at a concert or I was giving a talk or

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Speaker 10: anything like that, I would spot her in the crowd

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Speaker 10: and she would put her hand up to her elobe

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Speaker 10: and she would just hold it and give it a

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Speaker 10: little squeeze and a little wiggle. I would see that,

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Speaker 10: and I would know that she loved me.

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Speaker 6: All right.

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Speaker 4: That just about covers everything. Justin, isa In, you'd like

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Speaker 4: us to finish on.

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Speaker 5: Hey, do you think that I'm a fun guy. I'm

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Speaker 5: not talking about a specific kind of mushroom here, I mean,

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Speaker 5: do you think that I'm.

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Speaker 6: A fun kind of person. I got a joke because

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Speaker 6: it's a fun guy.

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Speaker 4: Oh please, justin? This thing was going so well.

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Speaker 5: Because you know I'm doing some ptea at the moment.

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Speaker 5: I said to my pet the other day, can you

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Speaker 5: teach me to do the splits? And she said, how

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Speaker 5: flexible are you? And I said, I can't make tuesdays?

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Speaker 4: Can someone just turn his mic office? That possible?

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Speaker 5: Did you read in the paper the police rested a

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Speaker 5: couple of kids yesterday when I was drinking battery acid.

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Speaker 6: The other one was eating fireworks.

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Speaker 4: Justin, Really, do you have.

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Speaker 6: To he charged one about the other one off.

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Speaker 3: Justin, Look, I know you think you're the funniest dad

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Speaker 3: in podcasting, but there is one other that I can

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Speaker 3: think of.

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Speaker 12: Justin Hamish Bake here, mates, look from one dad to another.

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Speaker 12: I just wanted to take in graduations and well done

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Speaker 12: on what you're doing. But from one podcast to another,

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Speaker 12: A thousand episodes, prett you mad? That is way too

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Speaker 12: much work.

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Speaker 4: I think me and Andy have been doing our.

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Speaker 12: Podcast for like six years and like episode two hundred

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Speaker 12: and forty anyway, unbelievable.

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Speaker 5: Respect.

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Speaker 12: Good on you for everything you do, mate.

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Speaker 3: So there you are, one thousand episodes the Happy Families

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Speaker 3: podcast and on behalf of the entire production team. Thanks

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Speaker 3: for spending time with us. We really hope your family

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Speaker 3: is happier for having Justin and Kylie share it with you.

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Speaker 3: See you tomorrow.