Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: your host, Georgie Stevenson. I am a lawyer and health coach,
Speaker 1: social media influencer, wife, and dog mum. On the Rise
Speaker 1: and Conquer Podcast, we dive deep into all things mindset, habits, career, health,
Speaker 1: relationships and more. This is a podcast for women who
Speaker 1: want to rise up to be the best version of themselves,
Speaker 1: who have big dreams in who are willing to put
Speaker 1: in the work to get there. I want to bring
Speaker 1: you the tools and actionable steps to feel confident in yourself,
Speaker 1: inspired to take bold action, and motivated to conquer your goals.
Speaker 1: Are you with me, girl friends, Let's rise and conquer. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: and welcome to another episodisode of the Rise and Conquer Podcast.
Speaker 1: Today we are chatting to Kylie Camps. She is the
Speaker 1: owner of The Kind Parenting Company and host of the
Speaker 1: Kylie Camps Podcast. She is an infant and child sleep consultant,
Speaker 1: mother of twin boys, and happiness advocate. The Kind Parenting
Speaker 1: Company philosophy is all about protecting the emotional wellness of
Speaker 1: the whole family through evidence based methods and kind parenting techniques.
Speaker 1: Her podcast focuses on conversations for women, particularly mothers who
Speaker 1: have perhaps lost themselves in motherhood. She shares her highs
Speaker 1: and lows of mom life and promotes a healthy, realistic
Speaker 1: lifestyle while talking about parenting, relationships, and self development. Today
Speaker 1: we cover topics such as mom guilt, the big question
Speaker 1: of what to do with social media and young children,
Speaker 1: how to utilize and really manage your time so you're
Speaker 1: getting most from the day, and how to have an
Speaker 1: identity away from your children. As you guys know, I'm
Speaker 1: not a mother, but it's definitely something I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: in the next couple of years. So I really really
Speaker 1: enjoyed this conversation with Kylie, and I'm so excited for
Speaker 1: you guys to listen. Hi, Kylie, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming on the show.
Speaker 2: Hey Georgie, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Of course, I am so excited. Before we get into
Speaker 1: the good stuff, though, as this is the Rise and
Speaker 1: Conquer podcast, I have to ask, what is one thing
Speaker 1: you are rising up and conquering this week?
Speaker 2: I would have to say this week I am rising
Speaker 2: up and conquering my son's recovery from his tonsil ectomy
Speaker 2: and just juggling mum life with my other son. So
Speaker 2: it's definitely been a bit of a hairy forty eight hours.
Speaker 2: He had his tonsils out on we two days ago,
Speaker 2: so right now we're just trying to conquer him resting
Speaker 2: and getting better.
Speaker 1: That is so horrible, the poor thing. I grew up
Speaker 1: having tonsilitis all the time. So so it's probably good
Speaker 1: they're out now and he can recover and stop getting
Speaker 1: tonsol itis.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fingers crossed. It's going to help improve his overall health.
Speaker 2: But yeah, just a bit of a yucky recovery period,
Speaker 2: but we'll get there.
Speaker 1: Well, good luck with rising conquering that. I hope he
Speaker 1: gets better soon. So I would love if you can
Speaker 1: introduce yourself. Can you give a quick intro into who
Speaker 1: you are and what the Kind Parenting Company is?
Speaker 2: Sure? So, I am an infant and child sleep consultant
Speaker 2: and Happiest baby educator. My husband and I we own
Speaker 2: the Kind Parenting Company, which is an online company, and
Speaker 2: we specialize in programs for baby and told the sleep
Speaker 2: and hold the behavior as well. We also hold events
Speaker 2: for women with a really strong focus on personal growth
Speaker 2: and development. I also have my own podcast, which is
Speaker 2: the Kylie Camps Podcast, and I also do a bit
Speaker 2: of work, I guess on social media as well.
Speaker 1: Amazing, you have a lot going on, and so how
Speaker 1: did you get into being a sleep consultant.
Speaker 2: Yes, there's definitely a lot happening. But I kind of
Speaker 2: fell into the world of sleep consultancy purely because we
Speaker 2: had our twin boys in twenty thirteen and we just
Speaker 2: had no idea about how to help them sleep in
Speaker 2: a kind way. At the time, it was all the
Speaker 2: rage to just let babies cry out and be a
Speaker 2: bit more strict, which it's not now, thankfully, but you know,
Speaker 2: nearly six years ago, it definitely was, and my husband Matt,
Speaker 2: and I just felt like our back was kind of
Speaker 2: up against the wall in terms of wanting to foster
Speaker 2: that emotional wellness, but we also needed to get some sleep.
Speaker 2: So we both became really obsessed with infant sleep and
Speaker 2: I decided that I would enroll to complete my certification,
Speaker 2: and at that time I didn't really intend upon using
Speaker 2: it professionally, but once I started to gain this feels
Speaker 2: and knowledge, I felt like I had an obligation to
Speaker 2: other parents to share this knowledge.
Speaker 1: Isn't it funny how you kind of just like fall
Speaker 1: into things. I love that and so obviously you're a
Speaker 1: mum of twins' wife, a speaker, sleep consultant. Like you said,
Speaker 1: you do stuff on social media. I have to ask,
Speaker 1: and obviously this is a very bored question, but like,
Speaker 1: how do you actually do it all? I'm like, find
Speaker 1: myself very stressed out and I have like one or
Speaker 1: two businesses and you have two little ones, Like how
Speaker 1: do you actually do it all?
Speaker 2: You know what, I always try and be really transparent
Speaker 2: when people ask me this question, because it does come
Speaker 2: through a bit. I'll get dms from other women saying
Speaker 2: how are you doing it all? And I know with
Speaker 2: social media it can seem like people are doing it all,
Speaker 2: But to be honest, I don't. I don't do it all.
Speaker 2: And I always say this, you know, I choose one
Speaker 2: or two areas and I try and do those areas really,
Speaker 2: really well, and then sometimes the rest of my life,
Speaker 2: like the other areas in my life, they just suffer
Speaker 2: or there's a sacrifice that you pay sometimes when you're
Speaker 2: really invested in doing super well in one area of life,
Speaker 2: if that makes sense. I'm always talking about the fact
Speaker 2: that everything in life comes back to pain verse pleasure.
Speaker 2: So for me, the pleasure of really prioritizing parenting and
Speaker 2: my family often does come at the pain of, you know,
Speaker 2: my social life taking a hit, or the pleasure of
Speaker 2: running a business and having that freedom to create this
Speaker 2: lifestyle for our family does have the pain point of
Speaker 2: you know, not being able to go to every single
Speaker 2: family function, not being able to do everything socially. It's
Speaker 2: just not really a case of doing everything for me.
Speaker 2: It's a case of doing the things that are most important.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being so transparent. It's like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to say unusual, but I love that you've kind
Speaker 1: of been like, yeah, well, sometimes other stuff does suffer,
Speaker 1: but that's what you get when you do put your
Speaker 1: focus on priorities. Do you have any tips for mums
Speaker 1: or dads who are got their own business or they're
Speaker 1: doing a certain project, Like, do you have any time
Speaker 1: management tips, because I'm sure you have to have some.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I thank my lucky stars that when we had
Speaker 2: our twin boys, it really forced me to become super
Speaker 2: super organized because when you have two newborns, it is
Speaker 2: all about military precision organization so that you can get
Speaker 2: out the door and just get on with your day.
Speaker 2: So having twins definitely made me super organized, and it's
Speaker 2: something that I guess I've continued to refine each and
Speaker 2: every year. I'm a big fan in trying to remember
Speaker 2: to look after future Kylie. So that often means each
Speaker 2: night going Okay, what do I need to do now? Like,
Speaker 2: what can I spend twenty minutes doing so that future
Speaker 2: Kylie tomorrow has a much more streamlined day. So it's
Speaker 2: simple things like unpacking the dishwasher, the knots out of
Speaker 2: the kids' school shoes so that I don't get frustrated
Speaker 2: the next morning, spending time doing that. It's just yeah,
Speaker 2: looking after future you and being that bit more organized.
Speaker 2: I also think having a morning routine is really important.
Speaker 2: And getting enough sleep.
Speaker 1: I actually love that. I haven't really heard that before.
Speaker 1: So looking after the future you. So does this also include, like,
Speaker 1: you know, making sure you get enough sleep so you
Speaker 1: like the next day is good and that sort of
Speaker 1: thing as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. And another thing when it comes to time
Speaker 2: management tips, I guess something I've shared before over on
Speaker 2: our podcast is to really encourage people who are struggling
Speaker 2: with time management to do a bit of a time audit.
Speaker 2: So set aside a whole week where you're going to
Speaker 2: commit to writing down exactly how you're spending your time.
Speaker 2: And the key is you need to be really, really honest.
Speaker 2: So if you wake up at six am and you
Speaker 2: spend half an hour on social media, write that. If
Speaker 2: you spend three hours a night watching Netflix, write that down.
Speaker 2: And then at the end of the week you have
Speaker 2: the data. You have the info in front of you,
Speaker 2: so you can look at it and go, Okay, I
Speaker 2: spend thirty hours a week at work, or forty hours
Speaker 2: a week with my family, or I'm spending twelve hours
Speaker 2: a week watching TV. It just gives you an awareness
Speaker 2: of how you're actually spending your twenty four hours each
Speaker 2: and every day and your whole week, and then you
Speaker 2: can redistribute and steal and borrow from other areas of
Speaker 2: your life that you might feel need more attention.
Speaker 1: Amazing, and I totally remember that from your podcast. I
Speaker 1: listened to that episode, so thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 1: And so I want to chat to you about how
Speaker 1: your relationship has evolved after having children. So would you
Speaker 1: say that your relationship to diet and exercise has changed
Speaker 1: since falling pregnant?
Speaker 2: Absolutely before, well, I guess way before having kids. In
Speaker 2: my early twenties, I really struggled with a very severe
Speaker 2: eating disorder, and I know that it's such a long recovery,
Speaker 2: and I ended up falling pregnant six years kind of
Speaker 2: after recovery, but still I had kind of, I guess,
Speaker 2: hangover tendencies of my eating disorder. I still wasn't super well.
Speaker 2: I was still holding onto some behaviors that weren't very
Speaker 2: helpful for me, and I know that when I felt pregnant,
Speaker 2: those closest to me really did wonder how I would
Speaker 2: cope with all of the changes that come with falling pregnant.
Speaker 2: But for me, it was a really positive shift.
Speaker 1: How would you say that it was a positive shift,
Speaker 1: like in what ways? Is did you become more accepting
Speaker 1: of your body or you know, did you start eating
Speaker 1: healthier or how did that sort of change.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting because like immediately before I fell pregnant
Speaker 2: with the boys, I was on a following a diet
Speaker 2: which I had always consistently been doing in my early twenties.
Speaker 2: There was always some sort of method, some sort of
Speaker 2: approach that I was following, and I had gone really strict.
Speaker 2: I had cut out everything processed, I was eating only
Speaker 2: plant based and I was feeling really good, and part
Speaker 2: of me does wonder if the fact that I was
Speaker 2: eating so well helped us to fall pregnant. But as
Speaker 2: soon as I felt pregnant, it was just like a
Speaker 2: switch had flicked because no longer could I eat the
Speaker 2: things that I was telling myself I should eat. I
Speaker 2: had really intense cravings. I was so incredibly sick all
Speaker 2: day every day. It definitely wasn't just morning sickness. So
Speaker 2: for the first time in a long time, I was
Speaker 2: listening to what my body needed rather than giving my
Speaker 2: body what I thought it needed. If that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Do you try and incorporate a healthy lifestyle with your
Speaker 1: two boys now too?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. It's so important for all parents to remember
Speaker 2: that the moment you become a parent, you are a
Speaker 2: role model. Whether you like it or you realize it
Speaker 2: or not, the way that you live your life is
Speaker 2: showing your kids well, it's teaching them what their normal is.
Speaker 2: So it is really important to both my husband and
Speaker 2: I that we lead a healthy, in active life just
Speaker 2: so the kids can absorb that bi osmosis just by
Speaker 2: being around us.
Speaker 1: And do you have any tips or anything that you
Speaker 1: personally do on days where you are struggling and you
Speaker 1: know you might fall back into that you want a
Speaker 1: diet mentality.
Speaker 2: For me, I did a lot of work when I
Speaker 2: was going through my eating disorder, and one of the therapies, well,
Speaker 2: if I'm honest, probably the only therapy I felt like
Speaker 2: really helped me was cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT, and
Speaker 2: CBT is really really powerful because it teaches you to
Speaker 2: understand that you're more than your thoughts. You can have
Speaker 2: your thoughts, but you can act in a way that
Speaker 2: aligns with your true values. So that training I guess
Speaker 2: that I had in my early twenties has really continued
Speaker 2: to serve me. So now I'm thirty two, my boys
Speaker 2: will be six at the end of the year, and
Speaker 2: I can honestly say I don't have struggles with my
Speaker 2: body image at all in the way that I used to. Sure,
Speaker 2: I have some days where I'm like, oh, I don't
Speaker 2: feel amazing today, but those days are usually a week
Speaker 2: before my period, and I track that so then I know, Okay,
Speaker 2: no wonder you're feeling a little sluggish and you're a
Speaker 2: little bloated and a bit puffy, it's because you're due
Speaker 2: for your periods. So on the days that I struggle,
Speaker 2: I guess I lean on that CBT training and remind
Speaker 2: myself that even though I have those thoughts that I'm
Speaker 2: not feeling great, I still take actions that can make
Speaker 2: me feel good. And I just have that knowledge in
Speaker 2: understanding that I'm a woman. My body is going to fluctuate.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm going to have those days where I
Speaker 2: feel a bit crappy, but they will pass.
Speaker 1: I absolutely love that, and I am so similar. It
Speaker 1: was so funny, Like just the other day, I was
Speaker 1: just mentally like not in the greatest place. I was
Speaker 1: all bloated. I was just feeling like crap, and I
Speaker 1: was like being really harsh on myself as well. And
Speaker 1: then I looked at like my period tracking app and
Speaker 1: I was like on day forty one of my cycle
Speaker 1: and I hadn't got my monthly and don't worry, I'm
Speaker 1: not pregnant. It's not me announcing it. But it just
Speaker 1: made me realize I was like, oh wow, like I've
Speaker 1: got heaps of hormones. I'm obviously very stressed because my
Speaker 1: period is late. Like you need to give yourself a break.
Speaker 1: So I love what you just said then about being
Speaker 1: like using the CBT and about being aware.
Speaker 2: In my early twenties, I never tracked my period, so
Speaker 2: I would just think, oh, like, I'm just a really
Speaker 2: grumpy person, but not realizing that I'm only grumpy that
Speaker 2: week before my period. And now that I've realized that,
Speaker 2: it's so powerful, and especially as a mum, because if
Speaker 2: I didn't have that awareness that it was my hormones
Speaker 2: going out of control, then I would probably think, oh,
Speaker 2: my gosh, my kids are just wild this week. They're
Speaker 2: being so naughty or they're being so out of control,
Speaker 2: and really they're being exactly the same. It's just the
Speaker 2: way that I'm responding. So that knowledge of tracking period
Speaker 2: is so powerful.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yes, I was the exact same. Like
Speaker 1: I was like really angry and moody at Tim and
Speaker 1: just like hated him, and then like I realized and
Speaker 1: I was like, sorry, Tim, Oh that's love being a woman. Okay,
Speaker 1: So let's chat more about managing and prioritizing your social
Speaker 1: media career along with motherhood. I like I said, I
Speaker 1: couldn't even imagine how you do that. I know you
Speaker 1: do have a unique way of creating balance and space
Speaker 1: between the two. Do you want to share that little
Speaker 1: hack with our listeners.
Speaker 2: Yeah? Absolutely so. I do try to be really conscious
Speaker 2: and aware of my social media use, not just for
Speaker 2: my own wellness, but again because I feel like, as
Speaker 2: a parent, you're showing your kids what is normal. So
Speaker 2: for me, on a Friday, every Friday, I delete my
Speaker 2: social media apps from my phone and then I don't
Speaker 2: download those again until Monday morning. And that just means
Speaker 2: that over the weekend, I'm not tempted to scroll on
Speaker 2: social media or check in to see what other people
Speaker 2: are doing. You know, it forces me to look up
Speaker 2: and be present in my own life. I remember I
Speaker 2: had a moment of thinking, oh my gosh, you know,
Speaker 2: in a year and a half, this was when I
Speaker 2: first started doing it, my two boys are going to
Speaker 2: be at school, and they're going to grow up in
Speaker 2: a digital world. And what's going to happen one day
Speaker 2: when they have social media accounts and they come to
Speaker 2: me and say, oh, Mom, I'm being bullied online or
Speaker 2: whatever it is. And as a mom, I will turn
Speaker 2: around and say to them, you know, don't worry about that.
Speaker 2: You're great, blah blah blah, all that stuff. But if
Speaker 2: I forever have my phone in my hair and my
Speaker 2: head looking down at my phone, that I'm probably sending
Speaker 2: them a message that the phone is really really important
Speaker 2: and that living in the digital world is the most
Speaker 2: important thing. And I just don't ever want them to
Speaker 2: think that way. So removing social media from my weekends
Speaker 2: it just means I'm super present with them, honestly.
Speaker 1: Like, I remember when I first watched your story about
Speaker 1: doing this, and I like, well, the first thing I
Speaker 1: thought was like, I have that automatic log on and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I wouldn't even know what my
Speaker 1: password is to like get back into my account, which
Speaker 1: is a bit dangerous. But then I just thought the
Speaker 1: amount of self control you must have is just like,
Speaker 1: you're so committed, and you're obviously so committed to your boys,
Speaker 1: and I just absolutely love that. Do you have any
Speaker 1: other tips and tricks around creating that space and balance
Speaker 1: between motherhood and social media.
Speaker 2: I do. I think it's important, but parents just be
Speaker 2: mindful of how they use social media in front of
Speaker 2: their kids. Social media is an amazing tool, but for me,
Speaker 2: it's a bit like junk food. You know, it's there,
Speaker 2: it serves its purpose, but you don't need to be
Speaker 2: consuming at twenty four seven, and I think just understanding
Speaker 2: that if your kids see you forever talking into Instagram stories,
Speaker 2: having a one sided conversation, they're not learning the art
Speaker 2: of conversation as they would if you were having that,
Speaker 2: you know, exchange in real life with a friend, and
Speaker 2: there's a risk of them thinking they have to share everything.
Speaker 2: Like I love Instagram Stories and I've used Snapchat in
Speaker 2: the past, and I think they're amazing tools for connection.
Speaker 2: But I don't want my boys to think that they
Speaker 2: need to have a mobile phone in the hand and say, oh,
Speaker 2: today we're going to the park and today I'm having
Speaker 2: this and today I'm having that. It's just really being
Speaker 2: clear what your values are, and my values are that
Speaker 2: I want the boys to have a strong sense of
Speaker 2: self and understanding and connection with themselves before they enter
Speaker 2: a world of social media, and that starts with me
Speaker 2: modeling that for them. So I just try and be
Speaker 2: mindful with my usage around them. And you know, every
Speaker 2: parent has a right to work that out for themselves,
Speaker 2: and each child is different. One of my boys loves
Speaker 2: being filmed. He is just so extra and he loves it.
Speaker 2: And then my other little boy doesn't like it. At all.
Speaker 2: So I have that balance as well as a sort
Speaker 2: of straddle that one's cool with being filmed, one doesn't
Speaker 2: like it. And it's funny, you know. I've had people
Speaker 2: over the years say, oh, you're favoring one of your
Speaker 2: children because you show him more, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: that's not the case at all. I'm just respecting their boundaries.
Speaker 2: So just being mindful is my biggest hit. And I
Speaker 2: think it's just an ongoing conversation. You know, you assess
Speaker 2: it now if you have a baby, and then you
Speaker 2: assess it again when they're a toddler, and then again
Speaker 2: when they're at school. It's a continual conversation.
Speaker 1: I also wanted to chat to you about mum guilt,
Speaker 1: so I I'm not a mum. Me and Tim have
Speaker 1: you chatted about having children, but we don't think it's
Speaker 1: going to be anytime soon. But I do see this
Speaker 1: word mum guilt thrown around a lot. Do you ever
Speaker 1: get mum guilt and how do you deal with that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, mum guilt is definitely a term that you hear
Speaker 2: a lot. I have to be honest, I don't struggle
Speaker 2: with a lot of mum guilt. But I am in
Speaker 2: a unique situation where I have been able to work
Speaker 2: from home and work around the kids, but I have
Speaker 2: definitely had my moments of mum guilt and it's a
Speaker 2: topic that I love to explore, and when I do
Speaker 2: explore it, I think it's important that mums take a
Speaker 2: pause and really identify what the fear is behind the
Speaker 2: guilt and then take some action surrounding those fears. So
Speaker 2: what I mean by that is, say you're having mum
Speaker 2: guilt because you're returning to work, So what is the
Speaker 2: actual fear? Is the fear that at your sun or
Speaker 2: daughter is not going to be well cared for? Is
Speaker 2: it the fear that your son daughter is going to
Speaker 2: miss you or that you're going to miss them or
Speaker 2: your You know, there's endless, endless fears, especially once you
Speaker 2: when once you become a parent, Like the fear list
Speaker 2: is so freakin' long. But working out what is the fear,
Speaker 2: what's the problem, and what can you do? So say
Speaker 2: that fear is will they be well cared for? Okay,
Speaker 2: so take an action and the action might be visiting
Speaker 2: all of the daycare centers in your area and having
Speaker 2: a big checklist on what you want to ask for,
Speaker 2: because at least then you're taking a positive action towards
Speaker 2: that fear, which is going to help negate that overriding
Speaker 2: mum guilt. I think another thing with mum guilt is
Speaker 2: to talk to other mums. Open your mouth and say, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm feeling this way, and another woman will open up
Speaker 2: and tell you her story about it. Because we all
Speaker 2: have such unique different pain points, so having the conversation
Speaker 2: and realizing that we're all in it together is helpful.
Speaker 1: I've heard you speak about the idea of self sacrifice
Speaker 1: and like needing to balance that with adequate self care
Speaker 1: and how important it is not to tie up your
Speaker 1: happiness solely in your children. Why do you believe in
Speaker 1: this And do you have any advice for someone who
Speaker 1: feels like they don't have an identity way from away
Speaker 1: from their children.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, I'm really really passionate on speaking about the
Speaker 2: topic of self care for mums because a lot of
Speaker 2: us grew up in households where our moms just did everything,
Speaker 2: and they did everything at the cost of their wellness
Speaker 2: and their health and their happiness, you know, putting everyone
Speaker 2: needs before their own, and it is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: But when that happens, there's also a risk of burnout
Speaker 2: and resentment. And so for those of us who did
Speaker 2: grow up in households like that, where our moms did
Speaker 2: not prioritize self care, it can be a really foreign
Speaker 2: concept to actually do that now as an adult. It's
Speaker 2: almost like we need someone to give us permission and say,
Speaker 2: you know what, you matter too. But the fact is,
Speaker 2: if you're not caring for yourself, it will come out
Speaker 2: in other ways. And those other ways could be being
Speaker 2: less patient, being less happy, you know, having a resentment,
Speaker 2: not being able to connect with your partner, all of
Speaker 2: these things that you really can improve if you simply
Speaker 2: add a little bit of self care into your daily routine.
Speaker 2: And they don't have to be big things. It can
Speaker 2: be little. It can be popping a face mask on
Speaker 2: once the kids are down at night, or getting up
Speaker 2: before the kids wake up and listening to your favorite podcast,
Speaker 2: or reading a chapter of a book. But little acts
Speaker 2: of self care go a long way, because, as that
Speaker 2: saying goes, you can't pull from an empty cup, and
Speaker 2: when you have more in your cup, you can give
Speaker 2: more to those around you. I'm a big fan of
Speaker 2: as much self preservation as you can have in your
Speaker 2: life to combat that self sacrifice that goes along with
Speaker 2: being a parent. And for those who feel that they
Speaker 2: may have lost their identity since becoming a mum, you
Speaker 2: are not alone so many mums. In fact, I would
Speaker 2: argue that pretty much every mum has a moment where
Speaker 2: they realize that they're not who they used to be
Speaker 2: and they're adjusting to this new life, this big responsibility
Speaker 2: of being a parent. And you know, for myself, I
Speaker 2: can remember having the boys and they were only twelve
Speaker 2: weeks old and just thinking, oh, my gosh, I don't
Speaker 2: know whether I'm trying to get back to old Kylie
Speaker 2: or trying to invent this new version of me or
Speaker 2: somewhere in the middle, and it's really really overwhelmed me.
Speaker 2: But adding in those little acts of self care really
Speaker 2: do go a long way from making you feel connected
Speaker 2: to who you are separate from being a parent. It's
Speaker 2: important that as parents we don't tie all of our
Speaker 2: happiness up in our kids, because that's far too much
Speaker 2: pressure on our kids. They can't be the keeper of
Speaker 2: our happiness and our joy because they're going to fail
Speaker 2: their humans. So just understanding that it's up to you
Speaker 2: to look after your own happiness.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. It's also like I kind of
Speaker 1: resonated with that even they don't have children, but even
Speaker 1: with your partner, Like sometimes I realize I put a
Speaker 1: lot of emphasis on Tim and Tim making me happy,
Speaker 1: which I almost have to like shift out of and
Speaker 1: like realize that it's not his job to make me happy.
Speaker 1: I need to make sure I'm like you know, feeling
Speaker 1: fulfilled myself and I'm happy with myself first too. So
Speaker 1: it is really hard because you almost do get dependent
Speaker 1: on the people you spend most time with.
Speaker 2: It is it's so hard, and it's so amazed that
Speaker 2: you have that awareness, because that was a big unlock
Speaker 2: for Matt night. Like I remember just thinking, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm frustrated that Matt's not giving me x y Z
Speaker 2: and saates variety or whatever it is, and then having
Speaker 2: this light bulb moment and going, oh, if I'm looking
Speaker 2: to Matt to bring more variety into my life, that's
Speaker 2: actually my responsibility. So I need to go out and
Speaker 2: bring that into my life first. You can't rely on
Speaker 2: your significant other to be the keeper of everything that
Speaker 2: makes you happy.
Speaker 1: Yes, And it's so funny that we're talking about this
Speaker 1: because literally last night, like me and Tim usually spend
Speaker 1: Friday night together, and as we're recording this, it's Friday,
Speaker 1: and he said that he's like going to see a friend,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was like, I know, in
Speaker 1: my head, I like already thought that we were hanging
Speaker 1: out as per usual, and I've had quite a stressful week,
Speaker 1: so I really kind of was waiting on that, and
Speaker 1: so he said it, and I instantly was like almost
Speaker 1: like heartbroke and like I felt neglected, and then I
Speaker 1: had to take a step back and being like I
Speaker 1: can have the best Friday night, Like I can go
Speaker 1: watch my favorite show, can get some vegan food because
Speaker 1: he doesn't like vegan, and like I really had to, yeah,
Speaker 1: like take that step back and be like no, just
Speaker 1: because we usually do something and you know that usually
Speaker 1: makes me happy, I don't necessarily have to always do that,
Speaker 1: And especially with him, I.
Speaker 2: Think it's so incredible that you guys have that dynamic
Speaker 2: in your relationship pre kids, Like the fact that you're
Speaker 2: aware of that sort of stuff now before having children,
Speaker 2: Like it's going to really set you guys up to
Speaker 2: be so much more successful when you do move from
Speaker 2: a couple to a family, because you know, there's so
Speaker 2: many issues that pop up. So I think that's wonderful.
Speaker 1: Thank you. And so why we are talking about sort
Speaker 1: of that shift from coming from a couple two children.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, it's something that scares me because
Speaker 1: even now I struggle too far and time for tim
Speaker 1: because my schedule is so hectic, and so I definitely
Speaker 1: have a fear around what is things going to be
Speaker 1: like when we do have children, like even you know,
Speaker 1: one more thing of what we have. Do you go
Speaker 1: through something similar when you kind of had to adjust
Speaker 1: from being a couple to parents, Like did the family
Speaker 1: dynamic shift? Like how did you deal with that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's huge. I'm not gonna lie, it is a
Speaker 2: big shift. And look, to be honest, I don't want
Speaker 2: to scare you more, but for us it was it
Speaker 2: was really big because we went from a couple to
Speaker 2: a family of four, you know, so that was a
Speaker 2: big jump. There is nothing quite like the baptism of
Speaker 2: fire of having two newborns to really sort of flip
Speaker 2: everything on its head. But there are changes that happen
Speaker 2: when you move to a family because exactly like you said,
Speaker 2: you have to share yourself in a completely different way.
Speaker 2: And parenting is so consuming. It really, it's so hard
Speaker 2: to explain the love that you have for your baby
Speaker 2: or your babies and the way it consumes you. And
Speaker 2: there is there's a shift, and I think that just
Speaker 2: being aware, Okay, there is going to be a change,
Speaker 2: and there's going to be some lifestyle changes that happen.
Speaker 2: So having the awareness communicating like talking to your partner
Speaker 2: and checking in regularly and just you know, seeing how
Speaker 2: each other's going, like, babe, how are you coping? Asking
Speaker 2: that question, you know, and it goes both ways, and
Speaker 2: being in the trenches together, having a partner that's really
Speaker 2: supportive and is there wanting to be amongst the nappies
Speaker 2: and the feeding and all of that stuff and getting
Speaker 2: up overnight with you, it can make it a really
Speaker 2: uniting experience rather than a dividing experience.
Speaker 1: And so do you guys, do anything in particular to
Speaker 1: make sure you are still like beating into the cup
Speaker 1: or relationship like do you have a permanent date night
Speaker 1: or does someone come look after the kids? Like how
Speaker 1: do you deal with that?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm probably the worst to answer this question.
Speaker 2: Because we did not have a date night for three years,
Speaker 2: and I am not recommending that that was just our
Speaker 2: situation with a lack of support and a lack of help.
Speaker 2: So if you have help, accept it, like take it
Speaker 2: with both halds and be grateful for it. And if
Speaker 2: you can have that weekly or monthly or however often
Speaker 2: feels right for you date night, definitely take it. But
Speaker 2: if you don't have the help and support, don't give up.
Speaker 2: It's not the end of the world. It doesn't mean
Speaker 2: you need to write off your relationship at all. You
Speaker 2: just need to be I guess a little more proactive
Speaker 2: because you don't have that extra set of hands. So
Speaker 2: definitely establishing a routine for your little ones is important.
Speaker 2: Having a bedtime is so important, not just for them,
Speaker 2: but for you because you have an end to your day.
Speaker 2: So it was so comforting for Matt Night to know, Okay,
Speaker 2: come six thirty pm, the boys are both going to
Speaker 2: be asleep and we can sit down and have a meal,
Speaker 2: have a conversation and really connect properly. That's really really helpful. Also,
Speaker 2: just being aware of how you speak to one another.
Speaker 2: I'm a big fan of being aware of how you
Speaker 2: spend the first thirty seconds when you see each other
Speaker 2: for the day, so really going to one another, greeting
Speaker 2: each other, asking how your day was. That sort of
Speaker 2: stuff is important because it is really tempting when one
Speaker 2: parent is at home with a baby all day to
Speaker 2: just sort of unload on the other parent when he
Speaker 2: or she gets home from work and you know, hand
Speaker 2: them the baby and verily spew everything that's happened throughout
Speaker 2: the day. But if you just take you know, twenty
Speaker 2: thirty seconds to greet each other, it can really set
Speaker 2: the tone.
Speaker 1: And it's probably like also having that mutual sort of
Speaker 1: respect and being aware that yeah, they may have been away,
Speaker 1: but they might not have had the best day either.
Speaker 2: Oh completely. So many people fall into the habit and
Speaker 2: Matt and I certainly did this in the early days
Speaker 2: of almost competing with one another about who had the
Speaker 2: hardest day, and when that starts, resentment builds, and then
Speaker 2: resentment is like the number one killer of putting out
Speaker 2: that fire and connection that you have for your partner.
Speaker 2: So do not enter a competition of who had it harder.
Speaker 2: I always say, it's just best to assume that the
Speaker 2: other person had a harder You know, if you both
Speaker 2: go into it assuming that you had the hardest day,
Speaker 2: you're both going to be really generous and kind.
Speaker 1: And so I want to switch gears and finish off
Speaker 1: the conversation chatting to you about being a sleep consultant.
Speaker 1: So why do you place such a heavy importance on sleep,
Speaker 1: especially in children.
Speaker 2: Look, sleep is just one of those things that is
Speaker 2: so underrated. And you know, Matt and I certainly hadn't
Speaker 2: given it a lot of thought until it was taken
Speaker 2: away from us. So sleep is absolutely one of the
Speaker 2: pillars of health. You know, we need to sleep. It's
Speaker 2: like we need water to drink and food to eat.
Speaker 2: Quality sleep it's imperative. If your sleep is compromised, you're
Speaker 2: going to suffer. And you know, when I first became
Speaker 2: a sleep consultant, I spent a lot of time doing
Speaker 2: in home consultations, So going and meeting face to face
Speaker 2: in home with families who are struggling, and I can
Speaker 2: tell you, Dodgy, like nine out of ten times, the
Speaker 2: mum would burst into tears and say I've just been
Speaker 2: diagnosed with postnatal depression. And then we would sit and
Speaker 2: we would go through all of her symptoms. And when
Speaker 2: I was able to show her that a lot of
Speaker 2: her symptoms could also be sleep deprivation. It was such
Speaker 2: a big comfort because, yes, post natal depression is absolutely
Speaker 2: real and it needs to be diagnosed and taken seriously,
Speaker 2: but sleep deprivation is real too, and just understanding if
Speaker 2: you have had weeks, months, days, even years for some
Speaker 2: families of really broken sleep, you're not going to function well.
Speaker 1: I am like the biggest advocate for sleep because I'm
Speaker 1: that person that if I don't get my seven to
Speaker 1: eight hours sleep personally, I just notice how different the
Speaker 1: day is. Like, first of all, I notice my mood.
Speaker 1: I'm someone who just can't function on low sleep. I
Speaker 1: notice I'm like, I'm way more hungry than usual, I'm
Speaker 1: way more distracted. I notice my anxiety can be triggered
Speaker 1: so much easier. So I could not agree more And
Speaker 1: I love that you do that. So when you do
Speaker 1: work with someone, how does that look?
Speaker 2: So when I first started, it was an in home,
Speaker 2: in person service, and I did that for about a
Speaker 2: year and a half, but it got to the point
Speaker 2: where I was booked out months and months in advance,
Speaker 2: and it was starting to stress me out because I
Speaker 2: would have these families call me and say I've heard
Speaker 2: about you. I really want to get in you know,
Speaker 2: I'm desperate, and to say to a parent who needs helpum,
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry, I can't actually help you. For another
Speaker 2: six to eight weeks felt awful. So I was taking
Speaker 2: on way too many clients. It was affecting my wellness,
Speaker 2: and it kind of got to the point where I realized, Okay,
Speaker 2: this isn't working. I am working way too much right now,
Speaker 2: and I'm not working to the best of my ability
Speaker 2: because I'm overloaded, and I feel this guilt of not
Speaker 2: being able to help families. So what are my options?
Speaker 2: And then we realized we could create an online program,
Speaker 2: and that was such a journey. It took her over
Speaker 2: a year to create the first version and then we've
Speaker 2: updated it since. But you know, the online programs, I've
Speaker 2: really wanted to make sure they would be as good,
Speaker 2: if not as good better than are in home consultations.
Speaker 2: So they all have video tutorials. They have unlimited access
Speaker 2: to audio files, so for families who don't have time
Speaker 2: to read, they can just listen like it's a podcast.
Speaker 2: We have forums for support that have you know, a
Speaker 2: manager five days a week. So now it looks a
Speaker 2: little bit different to how it did five years ago,
Speaker 2: but I'm so proud of the Kind Parenting Company. It's
Speaker 2: a really great resource, amazing.
Speaker 1: To finish off the podcast, I'm going to go in
Speaker 1: with a really light question. I'm personally someone who has
Speaker 1: to have a morning routine, and I'm like in love
Speaker 1: with mine. It did take me a while to get there,
Speaker 1: so I really want to ask you, what is your
Speaker 1: morning routine, like, what does it look like?
Speaker 2: I am totally there with you with the morning routine.
Speaker 2: It is so powerful and important. When the boys were
Speaker 2: twelve weeks old, I started doing this thing that I
Speaker 2: would call my hour of power, so I would wake
Speaker 2: up before the book, get a bit of exercise in,
Speaker 2: have breakfast, do a bit of social media stuff, and
Speaker 2: that hour of power has continued on with me, except
Speaker 2: now nearly six years into parenthood, it's a lot more
Speaker 2: than an hour because I have a lot more things
Speaker 2: I need to do. So currently my routine looks like
Speaker 2: getting up at four am on the days that Matt
Speaker 2: has a day shift, and getting up at four point
Speaker 2: thirty or four forty five on other days, and I
Speaker 2: take some time to do some mindfulness breathing, and then
Speaker 2: I head downstairs. I make a coffee, I put my
Speaker 2: Apple earbuds in, and I tune into a podcast, often
Speaker 2: a Rise and Conquer podcast, I must say. And then
Speaker 2: I get ready for the day. I you know, I
Speaker 2: take some time to get dressed. I like putting on makeup,
Speaker 2: I like doing my hair, and then I get stuck
Speaker 2: into some work stuff, check emails, check social media, pack
Speaker 2: the kids lunches. I do as much as I can
Speaker 2: before the boys wake up, because now they're at school,
Speaker 2: I miss them throughout the day, so I want to
Speaker 2: spend that two hours of a morning before they head
Speaker 2: off being able to do the mum things like go
Speaker 2: for a walk and plain Monopoly and all that stuff.
Speaker 2: So I just cram as much into it as I can.
Speaker 1: I love that you do get up that early. When
Speaker 1: I often tell people how ELA get up, I like,
Speaker 1: I get looks like I'm crazy, So I.
Speaker 2: Love that you're also.
Speaker 1: So I want to thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: and sharing so much knowledge. I like I said, I
Speaker 1: obviously don't have children, but I find this stuff so
Speaker 1: interesting and you just have so much good stuff, So
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Can you let the audience know
Speaker 1: where they can find you.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. It's been really fun.
Speaker 2: The best place to probably find me is over on Instagram,
Speaker 2: and that's just at Kylie.
Speaker 1: Camps perfect Paul. Thank you so much. Kylie, have an
Speaker 1: amazing afternoon.
Speaker 2: Thanks Georgie.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening into this week's episode. If
Speaker 1: you love to Rise and Conquer and you're craving more community,
Speaker 1: I have got your girl friend. I was feeling the
Speaker 1: exact same, so I'm very excited to announce that we
Speaker 1: have made a close Rise and Conquer Facebook community group.
Speaker 1: To join our girl gang, head to Facebook and search
Speaker 1: Rise and Conquer podcast community, or head to the show
Speaker 1: notes for the link. I decided to create this community
Speaker 1: for like minded women who is searching for a safe
Speaker 1: and positive space for us to share our stories, to
Speaker 1: ask for advice, and interact together. Lastly, if you know
Speaker 1: someone who would benefit from this episode, please make sure
Speaker 1: you share it with them or even take a screenshot
Speaker 1: and share it on your Instagram stories. I really really
Speaker 1: appreciate all the support, and this is a total independent podcast,
Speaker 1: so any sort of sharing involved I really really appreciate. Also,
Speaker 1: if you want to go beyond this episode, check out
Speaker 1: our official instat program at Riseandconquer dot podcast, or my
Speaker 1: personal Instagram at Georgie Stevenson. I hope you have an
Speaker 1: amazing day or night whenever you're listening by for now
Speaker 1: and talk to you soon