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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the.

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Speaker 2: Time poor parent who just once answers, Now.

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Speaker 1: If I fell asleep in a family meeting, what would

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Speaker 1: you say to me?

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Speaker 2: I would be very upset at you.

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Speaker 1: I would get the third degree and the subsequent degrees

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Speaker 1: after that as well, because I.

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Speaker 2: Feel like you don't listen to what I say.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, sorry, what was that?

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Speaker 3: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 3: and dad.

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Speaker 1: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of Happy

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Speaker 1: Families dot comte are you and the parenting co parenting

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Speaker 1: expert and co hosts of Channel nine's Parental Guidance. I

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Speaker 1: knew I'd get there eventually. I'm here with Kylie, my wife,

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Speaker 1: and Muma, who is looking at me strangely and also

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Speaker 1: going through my wallet as we speak.

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Speaker 2: You've been holding down on me. You've actually got some

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Speaker 2: cash in here.

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Speaker 1: That cash has probably been there for about the last

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Speaker 1: two and a half years. Who uses Actually I paid

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Speaker 1: for something the other day with cash in a store.

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Speaker 1: I'd been out for lunch while I was one of

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Speaker 1: my trips, and I paid with a fifty dollars note.

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Speaker 1: And what was so funny is As I was handing

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Speaker 1: the fifty dollar note over, the lady behind the counter

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Speaker 1: lifted up the little machine that you tapped your card

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Speaker 1: on the top or you tap your phone on the

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Speaker 1: top of. She lifted it up and asked me to

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Speaker 1: tap my fifty dollar note on top of the machine.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, hang on, what is that? That's that's odd.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen that for a long time. Cash.

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Speaker 2: I don't usually have cash either, But since.

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Speaker 1: Would you like someone in mine? I'm not using it?

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Speaker 2: Oh you're going to give it to me, are you?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I won't say no.

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Speaker 3: Well, it was part of our big down size moving

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Speaker 3: to the coasts. I've been doing a whole heap of

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Speaker 3: selling on Marketplace, you know, things for thirty dollars, fifty dollars.

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Speaker 3: And the other day somebody came and brought one of

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Speaker 3: the last items that I had posted, and I realized

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Speaker 3: that my wallet felt much fatter than normal.

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Speaker 1: Oh, listen to you, missus, I've got a fat wallet.

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Speaker 2: Well I don't ever, I don't.

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Speaker 3: Even care where my wallet is because there's nothing in

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Speaker 3: its significance, And and I kind of put the money in,

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Speaker 3: and then I went out to an event that night

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Speaker 3: and realized that my wallet wasn't in my handbag. So

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Speaker 3: then I started to panic because I remembered the feeling

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Speaker 3: of this fat wallet, but I didn't know where it

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Speaker 3: was anyway. I had put it in a different bag

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Speaker 3: by accident, And when I came home, I did a

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Speaker 3: quick count, and I couldn't believe how quickly thirty and

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Speaker 3: fifty dollars adds up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you get a little bit, and you add another

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Speaker 1: little bit to it, and pretty soon it adds up

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Speaker 1: to a lot. We've unloaded a lot of furniture.

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Speaker 2: We have, we have.

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Speaker 1: It's been really nice. But what are you gonna do

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Speaker 1: with all the cash?

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Speaker 2: I've got a pretty good Heida hold.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's my point, Like, what are you going

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Speaker 1: to do with the cash?

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Speaker 2: It's my stash. When I want something, I don't have

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Speaker 2: to ask you for it.

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Speaker 1: Nobody uses cash. What's the point of having cash? Like

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Speaker 1: I said, I reckon, I've had that in my wallet

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Speaker 1: for a couple of years. Didn't even know it was there. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we're not here to talk about listen, listen to us.

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Speaker 1: I've got money in my wallet, but we don't money money.

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Speaker 1: My point is, though we don't use we don't use cash.

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Speaker 1: That's not what today's conversation is about. Though. Every Friday

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Speaker 1: we talk about the things that we've learned about parenting

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Speaker 1: during the week, and this week, Misshappy Families learned. Have

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Speaker 1: you succeeded or failed? Is your parenting going to be

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Speaker 1: better because of your insights into parenting this week?

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Speaker 3: Well, based on the week we've had this week, I

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Speaker 3: think I know what you're going to share. Oh really,

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Speaker 3: And as a result, I think you actually.

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Speaker 2: Need to go first.

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Speaker 1: Fine, if you say so, well it.

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Speaker 2: Sets up my story.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, let's hope that I'm going to say what

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Speaker 1: I think what you think I'm going to say. So,

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Speaker 1: we have really been slack over the last couple of

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Speaker 1: months with the whole house move and me traveling and

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't think it's been slack. I think it's

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Speaker 2: just the reality life gets in the way sometimes.

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Speaker 1: But we have a really good system of how we

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Speaker 1: run our family, and when we practice that system. When

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Speaker 1: we run that system, our family thrives, flourishes, we work

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Speaker 1: well together. And it hasn't been happening for some time,

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Speaker 1: not just a week or do. It hasn't been happening

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Speaker 1: for quite a while, and this Sunday just gone. I

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Speaker 1: called out to everyone after we had lunch and said, guys,

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Speaker 1: everyone in the living room, we're going to have our

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Speaker 1: first family meeting in months. We need to get back

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Speaker 1: on track. And so everyone dutifully moped their way.

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Speaker 2: You could really tell they were out of The.

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Speaker 1: Level of enthusiasm was approximately zero out of ten. But

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Speaker 1: they all came into the living room anyway, yourself included,

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Speaker 1: sat down on the couch. I sat down on the

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Speaker 1: carpet in front of everybody and said, all right, guys,

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Speaker 1: it's time for a family meeting. You know how this works.

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Speaker 1: And I just double checked by asking one of the kids,

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Speaker 1: what are the three questions that we need to answer

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Speaker 1: to make sure this family meaning goes well and that

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Speaker 1: our family's on track. And that child looked at me

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Speaker 1: dutifully and said, what went well? What didn't? What are

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Speaker 1: we going to do about it? I said, okay, great,

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Speaker 1: so we know how this works. Let's just dive straight

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Speaker 1: in what went well this week. And by the time

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Speaker 1: we got to the end of the what went well,

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Speaker 1: which was only about three things, crickets, Yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: pretty quiet. But by the time we got to the

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Speaker 1: end of it, and we had the two or three

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Speaker 1: things on the list for what's been going well. I

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Speaker 1: noticed that in one particular corner of the room things

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Speaker 1: were very quiet. That happens to be the corner that

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Speaker 1: you were in, Misshappy Families, And I wonder if you

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Speaker 1: would tell our wonderful happy family's audience why things was

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Speaker 1: so quiet in your corner of the living room, in

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Speaker 1: the comfy seat of the lounge. As I was asking

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Speaker 1: everybody to participate fully in this really important family meeting,

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Speaker 1: would you mind, missus Coulson, explaining why things were so

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Speaker 1: quiet in your corner.

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Speaker 3: Let's just say, after a few therapy sessions, I can

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Speaker 3: say this with fun, but I may have fallen asleep.

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Speaker 1: You may have. Let me say that again, fallen asleep

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Speaker 1: in the first family meeting that we've had in how

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Speaker 1: many months. In my defense, this is indefensible.

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Speaker 2: We had we had friends over for dimmer on Friday night.

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Speaker 1: This is now Sunday. This is one and a half

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Speaker 1: days later.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and I have not stayed up that late for

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Speaker 3: a very long time, and I was still recovering and

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Speaker 3: I was doing Do you know what this reminds me of?

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Speaker 3: The Billy Joel concert that we went to that you

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Speaker 3: fell asleep, I know, but Billy Joel was extreme because

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Speaker 3: I was sitting right on the couch.

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Speaker 2: I was kind of lounging.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to just stop the chase. I'm just going

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Speaker 1: to highlight our family meetings and not as good as

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Speaker 1: a Billy Joel concert. The other thing that I want

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Speaker 1: to highlight.

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Speaker 3: You shouldn't feel bad because I still fell asleep in

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Speaker 3: Billy Joel.

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Speaker 1: Right, that's so reassuring, the issue, of course, with the

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Speaker 1: late night on Friday is that once you get past

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Speaker 1: about the age of thirty five, anything that's later than

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Speaker 1: nine thirty at night, it is a big night that

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Speaker 1: takes you two days to recover. We were up until

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Speaker 1: eleven o'clock with these I don't know.

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Speaker 3: If you noticed I was fighting it, you'd say my

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Speaker 3: name and I would open my eyes because I really

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Speaker 3: was trying so but it lasted about I think a second,

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Speaker 3: and then they closed again.

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Speaker 2: It was it was completely involuntary.

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Speaker 1: Now, if I fell asleep in a family meeting, what

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Speaker 1: would you say to me.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I would I would be very upset at you.

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Speaker 1: I would get the third But that has more to

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Speaker 1: do with and my issue the fifth and the sixth

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Speaker 1: degree and the subsequent degrees after that as well, because I.

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Speaker 2: Feel like you don't listen to what I say.

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Speaker 1: Come on, Oh my goodness, sorry, what was that. So

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Speaker 1: here's the thing. We're having a family meeting. And it

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Speaker 1: was a great family meeting. The kids became about it.

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Speaker 1: The family meeting should take ten minutes, but they got

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Speaker 1: so involved.

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Speaker 2: Well, if you had it taken ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: You absolutely would have. You were gone after about four.

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Speaker 1: But we talked about what went well. It was a

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Speaker 1: short list. We talked about what's not going so well.

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Speaker 1: It was a long list, and the kids all owned

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Speaker 1: their stuff, like they said, yeah, we're not doing this,

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Speaker 1: we're not doing that. And it was really, really, really strong.

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Speaker 3: So you can say whatever you want now because I'm

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Speaker 3: not here to corroborate your It.

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Speaker 1: Was a great family meeting. That's all I'm saying. It

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Speaker 1: was a great meeting. And then I said, so, girls,

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Speaker 1: you know this, we can only really work on one

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Speaker 1: or two things at a time. If we try to

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Speaker 1: work on all these things this week, it's going to

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Speaker 1: fail miserably. So do we work on And what they

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Speaker 1: identified was that most of the things that were on

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Speaker 1: the list, I can tell you we're all right. I

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Speaker 1: can tell you two.

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Speaker 3: They were all related to routine. See, I wasn't that

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Speaker 3: much a sleep, I know that much.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you've just had conversations with the children since

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Speaker 1: Sunday it has been five days. I thought, so so routine.

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Speaker 1: So we just decided we're going to work on the routine.

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Speaker 1: Work on the routine, work on the routine. And the

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Speaker 1: one thing that really stood out more than anything in

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Speaker 1: terms of making the routine work is that our morning begins.

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Speaker 2: The night before.

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Speaker 1: So they all committed to make sure that every night

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Speaker 1: after dinner, we're all contributing to not just cleaning up

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Speaker 1: the kitchen, but cleaning up the bedrooms, cleaning up the

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Speaker 1: living rooms, getting things in order, getting school bags organized,

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Speaker 1: uniforms organized, school shoes organized, the whole kitten camodle. And

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Speaker 1: I'm going to say that that one conversation has led

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Speaker 1: to a massive improvement. It's still not perfect, and things

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Speaker 1: have not gone as smoothly as they could because we're

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Speaker 1: a bit out of practice with the routine, but overall,

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Speaker 1: it's been a positive week, and the meeting was the

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Speaker 1: instigator of that. So for all do better tomorrow. I'm

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Speaker 1: claiming it as a win, although I don't know what

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Speaker 1: you're going to claim it has. But we're doing better,

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Speaker 1: doing better because we had the family meeting. We talked

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Speaker 1: about what worked, what didn't work, and what we can

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Speaker 1: do better tomorrow because it went so well. Sort of,

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Speaker 1: We're going to record our next family meeting this Sunday

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Speaker 1: and turn it into a podcast sometime in the next

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks. We'll have to do a lot of

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Speaker 1: editing on it because you don't want to hear most

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Speaker 1: of what goes on. But we want to show you

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Speaker 1: how the family meeting works because a lot of people

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Speaker 1: just sort of say, yeah, what do you do? I

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Speaker 1: don't get it. It's not making sense. So we want

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Speaker 1: to turn that into a podcast and show you how

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Speaker 1: our family meetings operate. Missus happy families. That is my

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Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow. I kind of should stop now.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm starting to rub it in a

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Speaker 1: little bit. I know that you are tired.

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Speaker 2: Well after the break, we'll find out what mine is.

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Speaker 1: The twenty first century is a tricky time to be

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Speaker 1: a teen girl. Alcohol, drugs, mental health concerns, body image issues, technology,

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Speaker 1: sex our daughters face all these and more. The Happy

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Speaker 1: Families Misconnections. It brings together the best modern day experts

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Speaker 1: on teen girls to show you how to stay connected

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Speaker 1: with your daughter and help her face these challenges head on,

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Speaker 1: available online via video at the Happy Famili's web shop.

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Speaker 3: It's the Happy Famili's podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 1: Now, how'd you go?

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Speaker 2: Look?

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Speaker 3: It's been actually a bit of a rough week in

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Speaker 3: spite of the fact that you set things up beautifully

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Speaker 3: with your meeting without me.

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Speaker 1: If you had been awake, it probably would have been

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Speaker 1: a much better way.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to suggest if you had have actually

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Speaker 3: been home that the rest of the week would have

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Speaker 3: run better. Oh oh that's harsh, Okay, Okay, So it's

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Speaker 3: just a really little anecdote. I had an experience with

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Speaker 3: Miss eight the other night, and like I said, the

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Speaker 3: week wasn't fantastic, but just this little moment with her

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Speaker 3: where she saw me doing making up some little handouts.

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Speaker 3: I do some volunteering work at church, and so do

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Speaker 3: the people that I look after, and from time to

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Speaker 3: time I just really like to let them know that

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Speaker 3: I appreciate their efforts because we're all giving up our

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Speaker 3: time for nothing. Emily walked over to me and she said, Mum,

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Speaker 3: I want to be like you when I grow up.

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Speaker 3: And I said, I said, how come? She said, because

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Speaker 3: you have a beautiful heart.

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Speaker 1: Ah, that is the best.

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Speaker 3: And when you have pretty ordinary weeks, having just a

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Speaker 3: little moment like that just send it through the stratosphere

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Speaker 3: into this just remembrance that, in spite of the fact

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Speaker 3: that things do not always go to plan, that there

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Speaker 3: are little people watching and they know the intense of

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Speaker 3: our hearts. And to have that little moment with Emily

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Speaker 3: this week has just made it all worthwhile.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think anyone who knows you would agree that

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Speaker 1: you have a beautiful heart. That's probably why all the

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Speaker 1: emails that come through to Happy Families Podcasts at happy

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Speaker 1: families dot com dot you talk about how great you are.

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Speaker 1: Nobody ever, even if I fall asleep, nobody ever mentions

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Speaker 1: me still psor about that. The Happy Family's podcast is

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Speaker 1: produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is

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Speaker 1: our executive producer. If you've enjoyed the Happy Families podcast,

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Speaker 1: when you jump onto Apple Podcasts takes about thirty seconds

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Speaker 1: to leave a rating and review. Please do it because

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Speaker 1: it helps other people to find out about the podcast

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Speaker 1: to make their family happier. Have a great weekend. If

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Speaker 1: you want more involved about making your family happy, you

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Speaker 1: can find it all at happy families dot com dot

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Speaker 1: au