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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the time,

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Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers?

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Speaker 2: Now, what do you give it? The book? Out of five?

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Speaker 3: Look, I'm going to get a solid four. It was a.

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Speaker 2: Really solid four. That hurts my heart. My wife is

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Speaker 2: only giving my book a four out of five. But

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Speaker 2: it's a solid four.

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Speaker 3: I have to be honest.

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Speaker 2: My gosh.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 2: This is the podcast for the time poor parent who

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Speaker 2: just wants answers. Now I'm justin I'm here with Kylie

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Speaker 2: and today it's our fun pod. Well I don't think

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Speaker 2: they're all fun. I shouldn't say it's our fun podcast,

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Speaker 2: but today is our kind of non parenting parenting podcast,

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Speaker 2: if that makes sense. Once every month we talk about

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Speaker 2: the books that we've been reading. Kylie and I both

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Speaker 2: avid readers. We can't get enough of books. Kylie, how

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Speaker 2: many books have you read this year? Where are you

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Speaker 2: up to?

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Speaker 3: Sixteen?

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Speaker 2: Sixteen? OK? Can I just wave my little flag here

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Speaker 2: and say them in front of the moment. I'm reading

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Speaker 2: my twenty sixth book at the moment.

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Speaker 3: How many airplanes have you been on this year?

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Speaker 2: I've been on far too many airplanes, and that's when

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Speaker 2: I get a lot of reading. So what we do

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Speaker 2: when we do the do our book club podcast is

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Speaker 2: we basically pick a bunch of books that we've read

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Speaker 2: over the last month or so and give like a

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Speaker 2: two minute review or a one minute review or an

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Speaker 2: eight minute review, depending on how many we're doing. How

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Speaker 2: many of you read this last month?

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Speaker 3: Oh haven't you been counted? One, two, three, four or five, six, seven, eight?

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Speaker 2: You've read eight books this month?

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Speaker 3: Well, not this month. We haven't done it for a couple.

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Speaker 2: We did miss last month. You're right because we had

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Speaker 2: that TV show Parental Guidance with something like that taking

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Speaker 2: over our podcast. Okay, well, how many do you want

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Speaker 2: to talk about today?

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Speaker 3: I'm going to tell the truth. You can't actually left

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Speaker 3: all of my notes at home, so I'm not sure

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Speaker 3: how this is going to go.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I reckon that you should pick three and talk

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Speaker 2: for about one minute about each of them and we'll

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Speaker 2: just make it a short podcast. That's fine. What have

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Speaker 2: been your favorite three books in the last month or so? Oh, well,

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Speaker 2: you're going to shoot.

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Speaker 3: Me if your one's not in there. I did finally read. Yes,

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Speaker 3: the parenting Revelations rout of applause.

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Speaker 2: I'm celebrating it's happened finally. So you've read the book.

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Speaker 2: I read the book, The Parenting Revolution.

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Speaker 3: This is what we cover to cover.

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Speaker 2: This is the book where I get kind of nervous.

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Speaker 2: What did you think?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 3: Look, I actually wrote a blog about it because I

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Speaker 3: wanted to give an honest opinion.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, do you want to make your blog about

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Speaker 2: it the honest opinion about it? Your your book club

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Speaker 2: for today? Sure? Okay, why why don't you share?

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Speaker 3: I won't read it all Okay, I just I decided

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Speaker 3: to share the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let's hear it.

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Speaker 3: Can you handle it?

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Speaker 2: I can handle it all right, So I hope maybe

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Speaker 2: the good.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I share the good.

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Speaker 2: Let's do that.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: I feel good about that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I absolutely love the way that you're right. I

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Speaker 3: love how you're able to take the science and the

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Speaker 3: stuff that hurts my head to read but make it

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Speaker 3: so palatable for not just me, but the average parent

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Speaker 3: who you don't need to have a psychology degree to

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Speaker 3: understand and decipher what you're sharing. So I absolutely love that.

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Speaker 3: But I love how you're then able to do all

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Speaker 3: of that and break it down into practical, bite sized

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Speaker 3: actions that I can do right now, Like I don't

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Speaker 3: have to wait until, you know, next year when the

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Speaker 3: calendar is clean, or there are just so many gems

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Speaker 3: of things that I can start doing right now as

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Speaker 3: a result of the things that I read. So I

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Speaker 3: love how you're able to do that.

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Speaker 2: I worked really hard on that, so I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: glad that you picked that up. I don't want people

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Speaker 2: to read a book and not know what to do.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't call it light reading. Oh really, but it's

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Speaker 3: easy reading. It's not light reading in my mind because

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Speaker 3: it actually challenges the way I think.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying.

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Speaker 3: So it's really easy to read. It's you don't feel

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Speaker 3: bogged down by it, but it is going to challenge,

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Speaker 3: probably for some people to the very core of how

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Speaker 3: they see themselves as a parent and they what things

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Speaker 3: they value as a parent.

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Speaker 2: I love the way you've said that, because so I'm

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Speaker 2: reading a book at the moment that I'll talk about

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Speaker 2: in next month's book Club that I'm really really struggling

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Speaker 2: to read. It's not an easy book to read because

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Speaker 2: it's so dense, and the author is a journalist. Now

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Speaker 2: he's making really profound points. And the book itself is

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Speaker 2: also very very challenging. But each chapter is like forty

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Speaker 2: or fifty pages, and there's no breaks in the text,

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Speaker 2: and it's kind of heavy content, not all of it,

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Speaker 2: but a lot of it. And once I get into

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Speaker 2: the flow of it, I can really really sort of

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Speaker 2: get going with it. But I'll tell you what, it's

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Speaker 2: a tough read. But I'm also loving it because it's challenging.

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Speaker 2: What you're saying is this one's actually quite light and

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Speaker 2: easy to read. So it's really easy. It's got that

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Speaker 2: provocative edge to it, which is exactly what I was

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Speaker 2: going for. So I'm really glad that you've said that.

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Speaker 2: That's nice.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but there's the bad. This is the middle ground, honey,

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Speaker 3: who it gets to the ugly yet so brutal honesty.

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling it already. I'm starting to fee quite uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: I'm slouching in my seat. I'm sort of sliding under

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Speaker 2: the like if we had a video going right now,

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Speaker 2: people would see I'm literally slinking under the table. I'm

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Speaker 2: feeling very tall right now. I'm really nervous about this.

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Speaker 3: All right, So the first couple of chapters you talk

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Speaker 3: about helping us to understand the history of parenting. Yes, now,

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Speaker 3: so much of it is fascinating, yes, But as a

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Speaker 3: parent who's feeling a little bit time poor and I

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Speaker 3: just want to make my family better, it was a

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Speaker 3: little bit overload for me, like just superfluous information that

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Speaker 3: didn't help me be better. Does that make sense? So

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Speaker 3: I was intrigued, There was so much that was intriguing

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Speaker 3: about it, but I just wanted to get to the

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Speaker 3: nitty gritty of why I'm reading the book.

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Speaker 2: So you're saying, if you really really want to get

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Speaker 2: practical straightaway, skip the first few chapters.

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Speaker 3: Probably you're not going to lose the essence of the

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Speaker 3: book if you don't read those first few chapters.

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Speaker 2: Fair enough, But you could actually skip part one of

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Speaker 2: the book and just read part two and three if

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Speaker 2: you want to get super practical.

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Speaker 3: But because of the way you write, and because of

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Speaker 3: we have a rule in our house if you're not

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Speaker 3: interested in a book, you've got to give it fifty pages.

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Speaker 2: That's the rule. Literally.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so I think part one's about eighty three pages.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, Okay, I haven't encounted.

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Speaker 3: My suggestion is if you feel bogged down in those

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Speaker 3: first couple of chapters, just push through.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's still pretty fast paced though, and

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Speaker 2: it covers a lot of important ground, do you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, it's not going to be hard

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Speaker 2: to read it, you just might want to move on

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Speaker 2: to other, much more practical stuff rather than that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's all I'm saying. So that's the bad

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Speaker 3: for me, Like, being completely honest, I just wanted to

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Speaker 3: read a book that was going to give me practical

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Speaker 3: suggestions and solutions to my challenges right now. Reading about

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Speaker 3: the history of parenting was enlightening, definitely not riveting read

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Speaker 3: for me. And because I've been privy to all of the.

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Speaker 2: Research, you've heard me talk about it so much. I

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Speaker 2: have heard you talk.

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Speaker 3: About it, But so much of what you had shared

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Speaker 3: with me didn't actually make it in the book in

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Speaker 3: the end. Ah, right, So I was reading things expecting

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Speaker 3: to read things that weren't there. So it's really hard

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Speaker 3: for me to be objective as a reader of work

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Speaker 3: that I've been a part of from the very beginning

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Speaker 3: as well.

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Speaker 2: So what's the ugly do I want to ask, Okay.

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Speaker 3: So the ugly are you ready? No, the ugly actually

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Speaker 3: has very little to do with you. And how provocative

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Speaker 3: the book was in challenging my thinking. That's where it

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Speaker 3: got ugly for me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's go, I'm ready.

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Speaker 3: Learning to be comfortable in the uncomfortable is something that

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Speaker 3: has been really challenging for me. I'd away from anything

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Speaker 3: that's left me feeling uncomfortable because who likes to sit

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Speaker 3: in an uncomfortable place?

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Speaker 2: I kind of do, but I'm a bit weird like that.

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Speaker 3: Who are really weird? And I married you?

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Speaker 2: Yep, you did.

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Speaker 3: But what I found time and time again, once I

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Speaker 3: got past that part one and actually got into the

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Speaker 3: nitty gritty of the book, I just found so often

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Speaker 3: these little aha moments that helped me either to understand

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Speaker 3: my parents and the reason that they did the things

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Speaker 3: that they did, or the way in which their parenting

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Speaker 3: has actually affected me, or how that now plays out

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Speaker 3: in my life as a parent and the way my

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Speaker 3: children see me as a result of those experiences. And

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Speaker 3: so for me, the ugly part, like I said, it

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Speaker 3: wasn't what you wrote, It was how what you wrote

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Speaker 3: impacted my thinking and actually opened me up about myself

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Speaker 3: that I probably would prefer not to know, right, but

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Speaker 3: now that I know, need to act on yes to

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Speaker 3: make changes.

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Speaker 2: So in other words, mission accomplished.

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Speaker 3: Totally, totally all right.

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Speaker 2: So this is a really hard question for me to ask.

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Speaker 2: But let's wrap up this review. What do you give

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Speaker 2: it the book out of five?

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to get a solid four.

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Speaker 2: It was a really solid four. That hurts my heart.

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Speaker 2: My wife is only giving my book a four out

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Speaker 2: of five, but it's a solid four.

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Speaker 3: You have to be honest, Gosh, if I give you

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Speaker 3: a five, no one's going to believe me.

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Speaker 2: Right, So you're saying you'd like to give me a five,

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Speaker 2: but no one will believe you if you do. Is

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Speaker 2: that what you're saying? Maybe maybe we can negotiate this

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Speaker 2: to a four point five four point six, No negotiations allowed,

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Speaker 2: Thank you very much. I'm going to give it a four.

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Speaker 3: The thing that I love the most about your book,

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Speaker 3: and across the board, your books are all very similar

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Speaker 3: in this regard. But the gold, the gold for me

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Speaker 3: is just the compassion with which you're able to weave

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Speaker 3: throughout your writing. I remember, are you telling me a

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Speaker 3: conversation you had with a parent once and they just said,

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Speaker 3: I've never felt so good about being made to feel

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Speaker 3: so bad, right, And it's that same kind of thing.

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Speaker 3: There is just so much compassion there from you to

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Speaker 3: me as a parent who when I'm reading things feels

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Speaker 3: like I am just screwing it all up, right, because

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Speaker 3: we all feel that way, you know, just we're we're

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Speaker 3: all getting it wrong all the time. But you're able

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Speaker 3: to help us to actually see and pinpoint what needs

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Speaker 3: to change and yet give us the gift of grace

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Speaker 3: and compassion that we can gift ourselves because it doesn't matter,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't need to come from you. I need to

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Speaker 3: be able to say, you know what, I see the good,

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Speaker 3: the bad, and the ugly in my own life. But

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Speaker 3: I can be patient and compassionate with myself recognizing that

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Speaker 3: now that I know better, I can be better. But

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Speaker 3: until I know it, I can't. I can't actually change

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Speaker 3: if I don't see that. And so having to look

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Speaker 3: into the mirror and see the bad or see the ugly,

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Speaker 3: recognize it, and then be able to move forward is

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Speaker 3: the power that I see in all of your books.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, the Pairing Revolution by me, Doctor Justin Coulson

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Speaker 2: read four out of five by this Happy Families. Thanks

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Speaker 2: so much. I think you know what. We've well and

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Speaker 2: truly gone over time with your book review. That was

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Speaker 2: the longest book review I've literally ever done. But you've

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Speaker 2: got several others. Can you give us three ten second

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Speaker 2: reviews for other things that you've read literally ten seconds

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Speaker 2: on three other books.

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Speaker 3: So one of my favorite writers, she's actually a spiritual writer,

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Speaker 3: Emily Bell Freeman. I read her latest books, Grace Where

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Speaker 3: You Are and Grace to Become. I just love the

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Speaker 3: personality that she brings to it and the way that

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Speaker 3: she writes. You hate it by absolutely.

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Speaker 2: Flowery and takes too long to get to the point

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Speaker 2: and tells all of these stories that I don't love it,

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Speaker 2: but you obviously like that. So that Emily Bell Freeman

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Speaker 2: Grace to Become and Grace Where you Are? Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: and you rate them as solid for solid four.

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Speaker 3: I've read some really good books this time, okay. The

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Speaker 3: Drover's Wife by Leah Purcell. I've started to read a

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Speaker 3: lot of Australian writers and particularly with an Aboriginal theme

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Speaker 3: to them. This was actually a hard read, quite raw,

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Speaker 3: I think Ned Kelly outlaw kind of.

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Speaker 2: Setting, sort of frontier australiay, sort of stuff. Yep, yeap,

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Speaker 2: what did you write that one? There's not many.

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Speaker 3: Numbers to work with. I'm going to go for it

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Speaker 3: was a really good read.

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Speaker 2: So everything that you read is just for full stop

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Speaker 2: and a story. Yeah kind of Okay, no problem, we

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Speaker 2: need to stop it there. Otherwise I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: be able to talk about any of the seventy four

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Speaker 2: books that I've written in the last two days.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, Pip Williams, I just read the Dictionary of

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Speaker 3: the Lost Words. I actually loved that. I'm going to

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Speaker 3: give that a four point five. That was a real

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Speaker 3: unique read and surprisingly just a lot of fun. Her

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Speaker 3: second book that kind of sequels that, the Bookbinder of Jericho,

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Speaker 3: I didn't love that as much. I'm going to give

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Speaker 3: that actually a three point five.

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Speaker 2: Okay, are you finished now?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: She feel like you've done like seven books. I did

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Speaker 2: such a cheap What have you read? Hunt? Okay, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to go through my books very very quickly.

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Speaker 3: You can't complain.

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Speaker 2: I just massive you did, and hopefully everyone's going to

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Speaker 2: go and buy a solid four. The Pairing Revolution by

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Speaker 2: Doctor Justin Wilson. But I want to talk about a

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Speaker 2: few of the books that I have read in the

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Speaker 2: last couple of weeks. First off, I read a fiction

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Speaker 2: book which I hardly ever do. I read Project Hale

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Speaker 2: Mary by Andy wir He's the guy that wrote The

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Speaker 2: Martian the Matt Damon movie. He wrote that as a

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Speaker 2: book before it became a movie, and he's written a

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Speaker 2: couple other things as well. Really cool book, crazy science,

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Speaker 2: like the thought that went into the insane research that

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Speaker 2: went into writing this book. I just I was astounded

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Speaker 2: by what he came up with. It was absolutely incredible,

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Speaker 2: but it didn't connect for me so as much as

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Speaker 2: I thought it was extraordinary and just incredible thinking. I

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Speaker 2: can only give it a four because I just didn't

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Speaker 2: connect with it. I'm not really a science fiction guy.

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Speaker 2: I'm not really a fiction guy. I tried. Everyone's talked

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Speaker 2: about how good it is. Four but not a solid four.

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Speaker 2: Just a four, Okay. Next one, Doctor Lisa Demore one

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Speaker 2: of my favorite parenting thinkers globally, one of the very

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Speaker 2: few people that I actually spent a lot of time

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Speaker 2: listening to and engaging with. I read her book The

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Speaker 2: Emotional Lives of Teenagers. It was a really solid book.

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Speaker 2: Covers a lot of ground, easy to read, very helpful ideas,

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Speaker 2: great scripting for parents who want to know what to say. Overall,

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Speaker 2: very high quality. Four and a half maybe four point

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Speaker 2: seventy five, like really really good book. Lisa to Moore,

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Speaker 2: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. I'm going to be talking

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Speaker 2: to Lisa on the podcast in a couple of weeks,

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Speaker 2: time long conversation. Maybe spread it out over a couple

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Speaker 2: of weeks because the so much to talk about. The

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Speaker 2: third one that I'm going to mention is a book

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Speaker 2: by an American guy living in Australia. New York Times

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Speaker 2: office head, chief head, whatever it is that the chief

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Speaker 2: of the New York Times office here in Australia is

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Speaker 2: what I'm trying to say. His name is Damien Cave.

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Speaker 2: The book we have a chief in New York, New

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Speaker 2: York Times. Yeah, yeah, in Australia. His name's Damien Cave.

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Speaker 2: The book's called Parenting Like an Australian One Family's quest

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Speaker 2: to fight fear and dive into a better, braver life.

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Speaker 2: It's basically a memoir about being this investigative journalist who's

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Speaker 2: gone to war zones all around the world, but now

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Speaker 2: with kids, moves to Australia, opens up the bureau here

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Speaker 2: in Australia in Sydney, and joins the local surf club

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Speaker 2: and has to get his bronze medallion. But he's not

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Speaker 2: really a swimmer, and he's suddenly struck by how risk

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Speaker 2: averse Americans are and how Australians just love to get

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Speaker 2: in and give it a crack. And the book is

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Speaker 2: actually a really delightful memoir, but each chapter has maybe

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Speaker 2: ten really high quality scientific interrogation of risk and helicopter

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Speaker 2: parenting and the approach that we have to doing dangerous things.

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Speaker 2: I really enjoyed the book. I loved talking with Damien

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Speaker 2: as well on the podcast yesterday, and I'm going to

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Speaker 2: give that one of four.

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Speaker 3: Would I like to read it?

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Speaker 2: I would love for you to have a look at it.

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Speaker 2: He writes really beautifully, but he does get kind of

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Speaker 2: sciencey in every chapter. There's like half a dozen pages

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Speaker 2: where you're kind of even as somebody who's aware of

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Speaker 2: and familiar with the science that he's talking about. I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, sea of it. Yeah, he does go

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Speaker 2: kind of geeky on the science, and it's still worth reading.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I think it's a wonderful book to teach

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Speaker 2: us about how we can encourage our kids to push

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Speaker 2: through the pain and the anxiety and the worry. I

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Speaker 2: really liked it. I thought it was a delightful book.

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Speaker 2: Two more Really Quickly, Just Kids by Patti Smith Patty Smith,

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Speaker 2: rock singer. I hated it. It's a biography. I love biographies.

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Speaker 2: I thought I was going to love this thing, but

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Speaker 2: it was all for I gave it a three.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like a fair rate.

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Speaker 2: Music star writes a memoir. It's about her boyfriend more

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Speaker 2: and about her. He becomes this fancy, high flying artist

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Speaker 2: and gay pornographer, and I just I couldn't connect. I

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Speaker 2: don't get the whole high art world. I don't get

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Speaker 2: the hype around art, Like if you ask me to

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Speaker 2: go to the Gallery of Modern Art, I would rather

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Speaker 2: do anything than do something like that. So it just

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Speaker 2: it's not my world. I didn't connect with it, and

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Speaker 2: I didn't love the book. So I gave it a

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Speaker 2: three because she still wrote really well, But yeah, don't

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Speaker 2: buy it. And the last one, the one that I

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Speaker 2: loved the most of the last few weeks that I've

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Speaker 2: read We've got book club coming up for our Happy

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Speaker 2: Family's premium members. Soon, we're going to be doing The

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Speaker 2: Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel and Tina Paine Bryson.

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Speaker 2: So I pulled that off the shelf and read that.

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Speaker 2: There's a reason that this is one of the most

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Speaker 2: love pairing books in the past decade. It's concise and simple,

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Speaker 2: it's practical. I loved the book, giving it a five

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Speaker 2: out of five, The Whole Brain Child.

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Speaker 3: Do you notice that academics often have to last names.

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Speaker 2: No, I have not, Tina Paine Bryson. I think what

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Speaker 2: happens in America from what I understand, a lot of

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Speaker 2: women take their maiden name and they shift it and

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Speaker 2: make it their middle name. So I'd say that that

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Speaker 2: was her name before she was married, Tina Payne, and

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Speaker 2: she married a guy whose last name was Bryce Bryson.

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Speaker 2: So now she's Tena Pane Bryson. I think that's a

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Speaker 2: cultural thing. Anyway, we've talked way too long. Hopefully, folks,

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Speaker 2: you've got some in spoke from Kylie's wonderful book review

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Speaker 2: of that parenting book what was called the Parenting.

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Speaker 3: Revolution Parenting Revolution by doctor Justin Coulson.

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Speaker 2: We will link to buy it anywhere. We will link

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Speaker 2: to all of these books in the show notes. Thanks

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Speaker 2: so much for listening. We can't wait to share a

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Speaker 2: much more concise book club next month.

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Speaker 3: I'll bring my notes good idea I think you should.

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Speaker 2: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rowlan from

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Speaker 2: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. For more

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Speaker 2: and ful about making your family happier, please visit us

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Speaker 2: at happy families dot com. Do you