Speaker 1: Welcome to How I Work, a show about the tactics
Speaker 1: used by the world's most successful people to get so
Speaker 1: much out of their day. I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imba.
Speaker 1: I'm an organizational psychologist, the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium,
Speaker 1: and I'm obsessed with finding ways to optimize my work day.
Speaker 1: Today's show is a mini episode where I share something
Speaker 1: that I've been doing that I thought was quite helpful.
Speaker 1: But before we get into that, a quick call out.
Speaker 1: If you are a listener and you have a question
Speaker 1: on your mind, I would love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be doing a few shows where I'm
Speaker 1: experimenting with a new format where I will be answering
Speaker 1: listener questions, so email them over to me at Amantha
Speaker 1: at inventium dot com. Do are you and my email
Speaker 1: is always in the show notes as well. I would
Speaker 1: love to hear from you and what is on your mind.
Speaker 1: And as always, if you're enjoying How I Work, and
Speaker 1: if you enjoy this episode, I would love it if
Speaker 1: you could share it with someone that would also get
Speaker 1: something valuable from it. And thank you to everyone that
Speaker 1: has done that. It's one of the reasons that the
Speaker 1: show has grown in the way that it has, so
Speaker 1: thank you all right on with today's show. So a
Speaker 1: couple of weekends ago, I celebrated in inverted commerce my
Speaker 1: birthday in Stage four lockdown in Melbourne. I had barely
Speaker 1: given my birthday any thought this year, because really, the
Speaker 1: options for what us Melburnians can do right now are
Speaker 1: a little bit limited. However, I did spend a small
Speaker 1: amount of time thinking about what I could do to
Speaker 1: make an ISO birthday suck just a little bit less.
Speaker 1: So my six and a half year old daughter, Frankie,
Speaker 1: was with me for the weekend, so we had a
Speaker 1: chat about it. On Birthday Eve. I suggested to Frankie
Speaker 1: that she might like to be my slave for the day,
Speaker 1: which is very politically incorrect, I know, but not a
Speaker 1: completely unreasonable idea given that the reverse plays out every
Speaker 1: other day now. Frankie pointed out some flaws to this idea,
Speaker 1: such as she doesn't know how to cook, load the dishwasher,
Speaker 1: make coffee, and so on, so we kept thinking. So.
Speaker 1: One of the things that can make parenting, especially single parenting,
Speaker 1: exhausting is the amount of times you have to say
Speaker 1: no during the day. Can I play on my iPad. Mum, No,
Speaker 1: can I ride my bike? We're in your jumper that
Speaker 1: happens to be really expensive and made out of a
Speaker 1: very delicate cotton silk mix. No can I play with
Speaker 1: this entire pack of blue tack and get it all
Speaker 1: over the carpet and my hair? No? Every no comes
Speaker 1: with a feeling of frustration and annoyance for both of us.
Speaker 1: So I thought to myself, what if my birthday became
Speaker 1: the day of yes? What if for any request Frankie
Speaker 1: asked of me, I simply said yes, I ran this by,
Speaker 1: and she reacted as excitedly as if it were her
Speaker 1: birthday tomorrow, not mine. I pointed out that this rule
Speaker 1: should probably cut both ways. Any request I made of
Speaker 1: her would also have to result in yes. We pinky
Speaker 1: promised on this plan. I think Frankie, to be honest,
Speaker 1: was more excited about it being the day of yes,
Speaker 1: but an at home birthday celebration day when she went
Speaker 1: to sleep that night. The day started smoothly enough, with
Speaker 1: Frankie presenting me with the home made birthday present of
Speaker 1: a tiny felt purse that had been stapled together, completely
Speaker 1: non functional, but obviously one of the best presents I've
Speaker 1: ever received. I also received a jar of fairy dust,
Speaker 1: but I'm yet to verify whether it actually works. We
Speaker 1: then went downstairs to have breakfast. Can I use the iPad? Mum?
Speaker 1: We have very strict screen time rules in my household. Normally,
Speaker 1: if she's lucky, Frankie will get twenty minutes of iPad
Speaker 1: time on the weekend. But being the day of yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: I of course said yes. Frankie decided she needed a
Speaker 1: lockable notebook, so she googled how to make one on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Then she asked, Mom, can we make this? Yes? I replied,
Speaker 1: thinking this might be the first YouTube craft project I've
Speaker 1: completed with my daughter in her six years on this planet.
Speaker 1: I asked Frankie to collect all the materials, to which
Speaker 1: she helpfully did because the answer was always yes. We
Speaker 1: then made a notebook that was lockable with some pipe
Speaker 1: cleaner and actually looked pretty cool. At eleven AM, after
Speaker 1: Frankie had been playing with Lego and was being relatively
Speaker 1: self entertaining, she asked me whether it was TV time.
Speaker 1: One of the rules in my house is that no
Speaker 1: TV happens before four pm, so I replied not yet.
Speaker 1: Then Frankie remembered the rules of the day and phrased
Speaker 1: the question in a different way. Mum, can I watch TV? Yes,
Speaker 1: I said, as a part of me died inside. The
Speaker 1: day progressed smooth and conflict free. Yes, more TV was
Speaker 1: watched than normal, but Frankie self regulated her behavior to
Speaker 1: avoid turning into a catch potato. During the day of Yes,
Speaker 1: we danced, we built lots of lego creations, and baked muffins.
Speaker 1: It was an awesome day. Having said that, when Frankie
Speaker 1: was up an hour past her usual bedtime constructing a
Speaker 1: highly complex fort in her bedroom to sleep in, I
Speaker 1: deeply wished for the day of Yes to end. The
Speaker 1: next morning, Frankie asked me, yesterday also a day of Yes?
Speaker 1: I sadly informed her that it was not, But it
Speaker 1: did get me thinking about how much better our lives
Speaker 1: could be if every day became a day of yes.
Speaker 1: It actually reminded me of an interview I did for
Speaker 1: How I Work with Paul Migliarini, who at the time
Speaker 1: headed up Amazon Web Services for Australia and New Zealand.
Speaker 1: Paul explained to me that what they think at Amazon,
Speaker 1: particularly for people leaders, is that they tried to think
Speaker 1: of their role as a way to find an answer
Speaker 1: that is yes. So essentially to find a way to
Speaker 1: say yes. Many managers go into a lot of meetings
Speaker 1: and think that it's their job to say no. But
Speaker 1: what Paul said is that his job is, if someone's
Speaker 1: given him a proposal, is to try to work out
Speaker 1: how to get it to yes. So we're so used
Speaker 1: to saying no right now, and if you're in Melbourne,
Speaker 1: you're probably used to the government saying no to everything too.
Speaker 1: But perhaps where you do have some control, see if
Speaker 1: you can find a way to say yes. I guarantee
Speaker 1: you'll create a very different type of day for yourself
Speaker 1: and those around you. And finally, as a special little treat,
Speaker 1: I spoke to Frankie about the Day of Yes a
Speaker 1: mini interview if you like. So let's hear a quick
Speaker 1: bit from Frankie about the Day of Yes. Okay, so, Frankie,
Speaker 1: can you tell me what this podcast episode is about.
Speaker 2: It's about Mum's best day.
Speaker 1: What did we do that was different on Mum's birthday?
Speaker 1: Yes Day? How did the Day of Yes work? Frankie?
Speaker 2: It worked like we both say yes to whatever said,
Speaker 2: Like Canapolis watch TV and you would say yes, and.
Speaker 1: Then and then what would happen? Would you just watch
Speaker 1: TV for the rest of the day? But that didn't happen,
Speaker 1: did it? So you watched TV? But then you decided
Speaker 1: you didn't want to watch TV all day because it
Speaker 1: was boring, isn't it?
Speaker 2: If that was the only thing which existed in the world,
Speaker 2: then we could do that because it tells us some information.
Speaker 2: What does ipays in computers?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, you asked to play on your TV? The
Speaker 1: news or the news? The news gives us information. Frankie,
Speaker 1: can I ask what did mummy ask you to do that?
Speaker 1: You said yes to.
Speaker 2: Bush my teeth after eat and breakfast?
Speaker 1: Yes, I did do that. Was there anything else I
Speaker 1: asked you to do? There was? Did I ask you
Speaker 1: to clean up some things? No? I think I did.
Speaker 1: I think you've blocked that from your memory. Hey, Frankie,
Speaker 1: do you remember what you asked me the morning after
Speaker 1: the day of Yes? Do you remember you didn't ask
Speaker 1: me if you could watch TV? He said? Is today
Speaker 1: another day of yes? Do you remember asking that? And
Speaker 1: what did I say? No, that's exactly what I said.
Speaker 1: And Frankie, should we do the day of Yes again? Yes?
Speaker 1: Or no, yes, what was What was the best thing
Speaker 1: about the day of yet?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, were very bad day because they got joined.
Speaker 1: TV and it's watching TV really the best part about the.
Speaker 2: Day they playing on that and time with mum.
Speaker 1: Well he's spending time with mum better than watching TV
Speaker 1: and iPad. Yes, Frankie, thank you for being a guest
Speaker 1: on How I Work? Was that fun? Yeah? So that
Speaker 1: is it for today's show. If you are enjoying How
Speaker 1: I Work, I would love it if you could leave
Speaker 1: a review in Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: this show. It is awesome getting reviews, whether that be
Speaker 1: a star rating or even if you are generous enough
Speaker 1: to write some words like always bring a smile to
Speaker 1: my face. There are some lovely reviews that people have written,
Speaker 1: so thank you so much if you've done that, or
Speaker 1: if you plan to do so today. So that is
Speaker 1: it for today and I will see you next time.