WEBVTT - Froomes Has An Online Bullying Dilemma 0:00:01.040 --> 0:00:02.680 This is Flex and Frooms. 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:08.880 Welcome to the podcast. This is Flex and Karen. I 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:11.760 believe in manifesting and I do not like the route 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:14.480 that I'm going down, but I have done some Karen 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:17.360 like typical behaviors. I don't ever want to be in 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:21.160 defense of Karen, okay, but given that I am Karen, 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:23.119 I have to defend some of the actions that a 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:24.200 Karen is want to do. 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:24.960 Absolutely. 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.200 Incident happened a little while back. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:29.200 A few days ago. 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:32.960 I called in somebody DM to somebody who runs a 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.040 meme page because I took offense to one of the 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.680 videos they posted, which goes against my general ethos of 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:39.519 online behavior. 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:41.720 Yeah, you hate policing people. I hate it, but I 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:42.279 had to do it. 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:45.960 Yeah, this is my new era of like becoming mouthy. 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:50.080 Yeah, because that feeling of like fighting against your instincts. 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:52.600 That sucks, being like I just want to say something, 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:54.240 I just want to do something, I just want to 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:59.200 go there. So I get why you were, like why 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:03.480 you did it, but you know lessons a Karen. 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:09.000 Let's get to it, Caz, this is Flex and Rooms. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:13.200 On DA last week, I talked about some Karen behavior 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:15.840 that I did on a plane. I was using both 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:18.800 armrests in the middle. When a man started using my 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:22.440 arm rest in adverted commerce. I asked him to please move, 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:24.880 I take it out of my space. I said, oh, sorry, 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:27.320 excuse me. I like kind of don't really have much room. 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:30.760 And he's like, oh, so yeah. 0:01:30.880 --> 0:01:33.360 I hit him with the reverse Karen too, you kind 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:34.959 of put it on here, be like, I don't have room, 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:36.680 Damsel Karen. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.720 That's a new breed. I'm the damsel. 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:47.360 Damsel Karen literally fuck okay. So the Karen just wants 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:48.960 to get out of my soul, wants to get out 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:49.480 of my system. 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:52.520 She's absolutely banging on the door. Karen wants to reclaim space. 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.560 So the other day I was on Instagram. This is 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:00.320 the person that I follow. It's kind of like a 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.480 mean page and they repost a lot of people in 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:06.160 the wild. This guy who's like in his twenties kissing 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.800 this woman who looks in her thirties and like she 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.560 would be like the archetypical bogan. Like they're at the 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:15.080 pub drinking beers. They're both obviously pissed. She's sitting on 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.799 a stool. The video shows him coming up to her 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:19.600 and kissing her like. 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:24.520 Full on him going up to her and kissing her mouth. Yeah, anytime, 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:26.639 Oh slippy. 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:31.040 And then he kind of stops kissing her, which makes 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.119 it look like it was a dare, but she kind 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:38.200 of continues and then falls backwards off a chair and 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:40.600 he's laughing, and everyone in the pub is kissing their 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:47.079 pats laughing. Ye, so this woman's gone us overhead. Everybody's giggling, 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:51.600 and this meme page has reposted this video that's obviously 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.239 somebody sent in. I go to the comment section, so 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:56.880 I see this video. Immediately I give me a bad 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:59.640 feeling at my stomach. So yeah, I'm reading the comments 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:01.679 and it's calling this woman a mongrel and all this 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:06.040 really fucked shit, and I'm like, I have to do 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:10.360 something about this. So I thought about commenting and saying, hey, 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:13.200 have you asked for this woman's consent to post this video, 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.560 because at the very end of the video, she's on 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.680 the ground and she clocks that someone's filming and she 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:23.040 says stop filming, me goes online. So I'm like, I 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.000 clearly no one in the comments is being like this 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:29.600 is fucked And I like to think that if I 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:31.800 see something that I really don't agree with, I like 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:36.360 to say something. However, what I've learned in my life, 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:38.520 in my past life, is that I don't have the 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:41.960 luxury of saying what I think at times if it's quitemercial, 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.360 because I have had instances in the last year or 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:49.000 two where I have spoken up about something and then 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:53.280 someone said, oh, no one cares that you're online. 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:55.440 Virtually physically, no one cares that you're online. 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:57.800 What do you mean, Like I've put my neck out 0:03:57.840 --> 0:03:59.880 to like stick up for someone or say what I think, 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:03.000 and then that's construed as, Oh, you think you can 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:05.800 like dictate what people say and think because you have 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:10.080 some sort of online presence. Yeah, so it's I'm just 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:13.160 being the Karen that I am, regardless of it. 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.000 If you're a Karen by nature and nurture, I have 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:17.120 been a Karen whole. 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:18.800 Wow, you get to be Karen by. 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.359 Trade literally, and I don't want to be because I 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:24.440 don't want the fallout. But I saw this, and I'm like, 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.599 I can't in good conscience look at this and scroll 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:29.640 on because I know what it's like also to be 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.520 made fun of. I don't like it when people take 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:34.880 videos of me without my consent and stuff like that, 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:36.840 and this was like a very unflattering video. 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:38.920 So I messaged the guy DM. 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:41.760 I dmd him because that's my other thing that I've 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:43.560 learned in all my time online. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.840 A call in, a call in, that's what they call it. 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.040 Because nobody likes me put on show, and there is 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:53.839 something very specific about somebody telling you off or calling 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:56.279 your behavior into question where other people can see. And 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.279 so sometimes when you take it into a private space 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:02.599 and you say, hey, person, here's a thing. 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:06.920 Have you considered? This could work nicely? But how did 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:07.120 it go? 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:11.280 I want you to tell me what you thought of this? Okay, 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.719 hello King, I love your shit. Nice But I wonder 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:18.080 about that last video with the woman. Does she know 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.400 that it's online. I didn't want to comment on the 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.880 post to start shit, but some of the comments are 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:25.440 really cooked, calling her a mongrel, and the fact that 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.400 she said, don't fielm me and then it ends up online. 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.240 I imagine this would make her feel really shit. I'm 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:32.760 not the police, but I just had to get this 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:33.720 off my chest, so are you? 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:38.600 That's what the cops would say. That is absolutely what 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:43.160 the cops would say. I'm not the police, but I 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:44.360 just had to get this off my chest. 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.440 Because I've been in her position before and I wish 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:51.680 someone stood up for me. Salutemoji, salute emoji, fingers up emoji. 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:56.080 And what I will say about that approach is I 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:59.320 really appreciate that you've made it casual the whole way round, 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.520 and you've led with emotion, not like a morality thing 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.240 where it's like this is a bad thing. It's just 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:07.440 like I have noticed this, and these are the reasons 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:09.920 she said, don't put it up. The comments are really cooked, 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:12.919 Like what do you think about it? To be fair, 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:15.800 I wouldn't have done it because I'm of the belief 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:20.160 that the amount of steps it takes to post that 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:26.200 shit's intentional, and the same way you're seeing the comments 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:28.320 ramp up is the same way that person seeing the 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.200 comment ramp up, and if their own moral compass is 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.400 telling them like this is fine and cool because the 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:35.880 engagement is good and the analytics are ups told me 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:36.560 all I need to know. 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:38.000 But I think I'm. 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:41.440 More in my harm reduction error at the moment where 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:44.960 I'm like, I've done my call out, call in, and 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.599 I'm just gonna be silly and talk about big concepts 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:48.080 with you. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.359 Yes see, I'm in that liminal period where I can't 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:55.040 decide where I'm getting pent up about things, and then 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:57.400 feeling even more pent up that I feel that I'm 0:06:57.440 --> 0:06:58.400 not allowed to be pent up. 0:06:58.320 --> 0:06:58.960 And that's not good. 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:02.280 Levels are up, Yeah, fully up when I was sending that, 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:06.839 But I'm glad that I did. And I think I'm 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.440 only in the future going to put things on record 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:11.840 and put myself out there if I wouldn't care for 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.640 literally everyone in the world saw period period. So then 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.239 he replied, Hey, mate, I haven't looked at the comments, 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:20.840 and I'll get in and get rid of that shit. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.400 Then double check she's aware of it. I don't know 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:24.400 how you're going to double check. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:26.600 Hey, this is really unsafe. 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:33.040 People aren't actually going ham they hate it, but. 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:36.720 Fled to it in numbers. 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:42.360 Seriously, And if she isn't aware, I'll get rid of it. 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:46.320 Thanks for pointing that out. And then he said they 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:50.400 both appear to go at each other all tongues blazing yep, 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:55.200 which means that it's consensual, and she didn't mind that 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:57.720 it's something, but who who are. 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:01.080 We to decide what something is or is through observation? 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.720 Then he goes, and I love your shit too, shake hand, emoji, 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.040 and I said, God bless, I look forward to many toortals, 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:08.320 to which he said, and I look forward to. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:09.280 This friendship blossoming. 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:13.120 So the moral of the story there is I'm so 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.480 excited that I didn't call him out on the post 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.200 because that would have ended badly, because clearly he stands 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:21.680 by it. But I'm glad that I said something generally 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.320 because I don't want to leave my life like I 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.480 can't bring out my Karen when the Karen has a 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:27.440 reason to be the Karen. 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:30.520 Ye, you know, But in this instance, I think you 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:35.560 need to give yourself like some props because the plane 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:39.040 that was that was very Karen like. This is more 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.440 so I wouldn't even call it vigilanteism either. I think 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:45.920 that every now and then people forget that the Internet 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:49.360 becomes a really wayward place because nobody feels responsible enough 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:52.560 to set rules and guidelines, right. I just think there's 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:56.280 room to regard any interaction, whether it's virtual or in 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:59.560 a real life space, as a real like as a 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:03.640 real interaction where it's like you're posting real people and 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:06.600 a real person is there being embarrassed and real people 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:10.439 are commenting cooked stuff, and like you're encouraging an atmosphere 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:12.440 where real people think this is okay to do, to 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:14.720 real people think all that's really good. 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:16.679 I think it's really tricky because the. 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:19.960 Reason why I stopped doing call in call out culture 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:24.480 is that I wasn't really interested in like rehabilitating people either, 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:26.600 because I think there's, like you said, an element of 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:29.959 if he stands by the post, who am I then 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:31.880 to be like, here are the reasons why it's bad, 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:33.720 and here's the reasons why it offended me, and here 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.280 are the reasons, like I'm not doing that shit, you know, 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.840 And I think that is necessary. When you are calling 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:40.839 people in and out, you got to stick with them 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:44.040 on the journey, Like because it's your problem, you know 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.439 what I'm saying, Like you called it out. So if 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:48.680 you if you feel so highly or you feel so 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:49.840 strongly about it. 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:53.000 Then see it through flick and frods. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:58.520 The other a week, I was at the Sydney premiere 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:03.360 of Elvis. Yeah, so Hot, so sexy. I'm obsessed with 0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:06.960 Basil Woman and Austin Butler. And if you go to 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:10.320 my Instagram flextut mommy, you'll see the moment in which 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:13.800 he bewitched me. I have never seen myself look at 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.920 a man that way. My eyes were glistening. I was 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.520 looking at his eyes, looking at his lips like I 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:23.120 was entranced, and I was being entrance in the moment, 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.200 being like, why has this guy got me? 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.400 Looking all patient? I was giving demure. I saw that 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:31.800 he was a you're looking up and down on his lips. 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.079 I'm like, yeah, she wants it. 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:37.160 I was giving delicate. I said this man, I see 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.959 what you've done. And now the bar has been raised. 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:43.880 Because whatever that feeling was, I need a tenfold. It 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:48.160 was feeling like those memes where they say like women 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:54.200 should be peaceful around. However, so we're on a red 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.040 carpet of one side of the street, and there are 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.240 fans along the side that we're on and parallel l 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:04.240 like across the road looking towards the red carpet. And 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.160 when the cast and celebrities get out of the car, 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:12.120 they get out facing directly to the red carpet and 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.800 they have their backs to a whole row of fans 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:21.199 across the street. Baslanan gets out of the car immediately stops, 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:26.800 turns around, sees that there's droves of people across the 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:32.160 road holding up signs goes through traffic to say hello 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:37.959 to everyone, take selfies, give autographs, say thank you. Then 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:40.720 came across the road back to where the red carpet was. 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.360 There were fans there did the same thing. And all 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:47.760 I could think of was, damn, these new celebrities are 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.800 not built correct. They're really the default because the start 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:55.520 of the show, he's taken his time to go and 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.679 show gratitude to the people that quote unquote are paying 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:02.520 his bills. Right, you are giving this movie a sense 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:07.000 of like fanfare and legacy. Right, he recognizes the necessity. 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.959 It's like the ultimate formula. There is no pandemonium without 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:13.080 the fans that stand on the road and hold the 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.920 signs and go to these red carpets. And I was like, yeah, 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.000 I don't think a new celebrity would do that. I 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:21.760 don't think that like an Instagram star or an influencer 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.760 or a TikToker would understand that that is something that 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:28.360 you can do because you're not really given a guidebook 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:31.160 of interacting because you build so much of your profile 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:34.920 in solitary alone on your phone in your room, not 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:38.240 interacting with anyone in a way that feels physical. 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.480 Yeah, and so perhaps when you get into a physical. 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.640 Space, you maybe internalize the idea that you have to 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.720 engage from a fart like maybe wave or you know, 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:51.520 acknowledge with a smile, but stepping forward and actually like 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:54.760 touching people and signing things. They just weren't doing that. 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:58.200 I said, damn, is this like this weird consequence of 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.160 social media. 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.480 I assume that they are thinking if I go over there, 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.080 They're not going to want to talk to me because 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:06.199 I'm not a real celebrity. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.199 But people were screaming. It's like they're screaming their name. 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.480 If someone had been like you got out of your 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:13.400 car to do a red carpet and someone's like, oh 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:18.040 my god, rooms, rooms, hi, and instead of going up 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.400 to them acknowledging them, you just kind of waving like ahaha, 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:20.880 thank you. 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:22.920 I don't do something reasonable. 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.679 It's almost not an idea that like you don't want 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.520 to break the fourth wall and like actually interact with 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:31.120 them because you're kind of used to this separation of 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:34.839 like you consume me from afar and like here, I'm 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.760 over here, wave. But this idea of like physically going 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.600 into that into your fans orbit and being like I'm 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.560 right here with you in this moment. 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.440 So Basi Lemon was really good at god giving people 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.800 credabum were there people that weren't. 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.360 I think like Austin Butler was really good at just 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:57.000 giving everyone that that look like he was just maintaining 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:00.000 eye contact with everyone. He was moving at a zoo 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:03.760 point five speed, talking at zero point five speed. I 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.080 think he was really good at letting people can like 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:08.960 bask in him a little bit, like kind of just 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:12.439 stood there and let people acknowledge him. He wasn't rushing 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:16.200 himself through. That makes sense. Like the star Tom Hanks, 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.920 for example, didn't do the red carpet, raced out of 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.280 the car straight inside, but he. 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:21.840 Was here for it. 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:25.440 Yeah, and he got COVID exactly, so like bad vibes, 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:28.240 I get it, but like he doesn't need to do that, 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.200 But it was notice of one comparison to others. 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:32.600 Everyone's like, where's Tom. I was like, he's not. 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.440 He's not doing media's he's castaway to me, and he 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:39.080 doesn't have to because he's an og. But I'm just saying, 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:44.160 perhaps some of these some of these new celebrities need 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:47.000 to take a page out of the vintage book and he. 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:51.160 Would be stars listening give a bit of attention, give. 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:53.880 A lot of attention. I think it's worth like cranking. 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.160 It make someone's day. 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:59.280 This is flex and frooms on whether or not we 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:02.800 like it. Farting comes up a lot on this show. 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.800 I believe it's a new remit in your professional career. 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:11.120 Yeah, definitely not part of my core themes, not part 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:12.000 of my core branding. 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:15.200 But I'm here to be involved. Well, I have a 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:17.040 story for you, and this is a love line. So 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:19.600 this has been sent in by a listener. 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:21.280 Here we go. 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:25.320 Yes, I realized the title sounds ridiculous, and the title 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.440 is fiance acts weird about the fact I fart around him. 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:32.560 Standard procedure, that would be me, I'd be acting weird. 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.880 But this is something that really bothers me. My fiance 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:42.760 is extremely gassy and has long been comfortable farting around me. 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:44.800 We'd usually just laugh about it. 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.960 Shortly before we got engaged, I got comfortable enough to 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:51.880 start farting around him, and we laugh about that too. 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.080 I didn't think there was anything wrong about it. Of 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:57.320 course you didn't. And for clarity's sake, I am not shrek. 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.720 Thank you, queen. That was one for you. 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:05.320 I don't go around farting everywhere. I only do it 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:07.400 around him because we're going to live together, so I 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:09.480 may as well break him in now. I was just 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.840 texting him tonight and the topic came up. He surprised 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.040 me by saying that my farting caught him off guard 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:18.880 because and I quote, women don't fight. He then proceeded 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.440 to say that a woman has never farted around him before. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:23.280 Oh clean blood. 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.360 He's had many girlfriends in the past, and I would say, any. 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:29.440 How old is that he chose you? 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.080 He's thirty two, okay, she's twenty three, which I think 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:34.800 is also numb. 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:38.200 He's had minutes what notable? Okay? 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:41.240 Nine years As difference, He's had many girlfriends in the 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:43.040 past and would say that he used to go for 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.320 the model type. He then made a joke that he 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:48.080 may have to check me for male private parts. I'm 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.320 not usually easy offender, but this rubbed me the wrong way. 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:53.760 I'm still stuck on. He used, he usually goes for 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.160 the model type. Then who are you? Babe? I switched 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:58.760 it up to you? She shrek. 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:02.080 She also asked, how the heck in thirty two years 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:03.960 of life, have you never seen a woman fat or 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.159 smell it? Rather than in conclusion. I told him this 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:08.840 whole thing upsets me, and he told me I was 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:12.080 overreacting and that he was just teasing me. He claimed 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.040 he wasn't comparing me to anyone, but I don't know. 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:17.000 It left me feeling sour, like my femininity was less 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:20.879 legitimate because I fought even typing that feels ridiculous, But 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.560 it just feels so offensive to be told women don't 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:24.560 fight because they're women. 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:26.280 Is that what he said? 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:31.960 Yeah, or at least that's that's what she's Yeah, you're interpreting. 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:35.360 I'm stressed out. 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:44.000 My first issue is him fighting around her. Don't be 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:45.760 your most comfortable self around me, is what I'm trying 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:46.080 to say. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:48.600 I get it. You far do it another room. I 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:49.000 get it. 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.840 You bur I mean burping is chill if you're not belching. 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.879 Wink ye looking at our prettyper number one belter in 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:58.400 the land. 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:01.240 I would much prefer some gonna blow their nose. They 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:04.800 did it in another a coughing fit for the first couple. 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:06.560 I'm like, yeah, you can have it, but if it's 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.200 gonna be an occurring thing, just take it elsewhere. These 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.400 are all things that I do. I'm looking you dead 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:13.000 in the eye. So the next time you want to 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.560 do that, Yeah, honestly, like she lost me out, like 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.080 he farts a lot around me because I wouldn't nit 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:22.760 that in the bud number one. But fine, if that's 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:25.760 the dynamic you have. I think he set a tone, right, 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.600 you're fighting a lot, You're making it a thing. I'm 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:31.560 gonna assume you're comfortable with the concept of fighting in 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:34.160 the same way if I was gonna blow my nose, 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:36.080 I would leave the room. That's a standard I'm setting 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:38.840 for myself, and I'm just hoping that people who spend 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:40.280 a lot of time around me will just do the 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:40.720 same thing. 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:42.720 I'm not gonna hold them to it. That's not my business. 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:45.640 But in this instance, when you started fighting around him 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:48.680 and he started taking offense, well that's just weird because 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.080 you've said a standard. If you don't want it that way, 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:54.600 then shift your behavior to shift hers. I do think 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:58.840 like the women don't fight thing is not personal, like 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.640 the I don't think he's like, you're grossing me out 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:02.400 because you far. 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:04.440 I think you're just warping his perception of the world. 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:06.480 He's like, wait a second, I've dated so many of 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:09.120 these creatures and none have ever done what you've just done. 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:12.240 Now you know, he thought you were a non fighter. 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:14.200 Now you're letting a few things rip, and I think 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:15.800 it's shattering his illusion. 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:17.360 Which is pretty fair. 0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:19.480 It's like the first time you see someone do something, 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:21.760 like the first time you see someone get really mad, 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.439 you're like, WHOA, that's hectic. I didn't know you did that. 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.320 That is never seen someone do that before. In this instance, though, 0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:32.359 I'm sure you can take it personally for a myriad 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:35.240 of reasons. I'm not gonna tell you not to. But 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:37.879 like the fighting thing is the least of your concerns. 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:42.040 Missage gap. Yeah, don't get us talking on this topic. 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:44.600 They go, well, we're gonna send her on away with 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.200 this song. I don't know what she should do. 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.600 Just just stop fighting. 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.439 Just do whatever makes you more coomfortable, because don't stop farting. 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:54.439