1 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to this first ever episode of The 2 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 1: Happy Family's podcast. My name's doctor Justin Colson, and this 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: is the podcast that's dedicated to making your family happier. 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: Because this is all brand new, I'm just going to 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,479 Speaker 1: take a quick minute and introduce myself and tell you 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: a bit about who I am, and then we're going 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: to dive into this week's topic, which is called seven 8 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 1: ways that we can proactively set our family up to 9 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: be happy. As I said, my name is doctor Justin Coulson, 10 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: and the first thing that you should know about me 11 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: is that I'm a dad. 12 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 2: My wife Kylie, and I have got six. 13 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: Children, six daughters, and I've got to admit, even though 14 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: I know a whole bunch about parenting, I find it 15 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,559 Speaker 1: incredibly challenging. And that's kind of how I got here. 16 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: So let me tell you my story in just a 17 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: couple of brief minutes, and then I'll tell you more 18 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: about this podcast. So I left high school, did a 19 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 1: couple of years of volunteer work for my church, and 20 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: then got into the radio business. I was a radio 21 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: announcer for the best part of a decade and climbed 22 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: all the way to the top of the radio tree, 23 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: got to one of the biggest radio stations in Australia 24 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: and loved. 25 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 2: What I did. But the further up I got, the 26 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 2: less I enjoyed it. 27 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: Until I got to the very top and I thought, 28 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,199 Speaker 1: you know what, this view isn't everything that I'd hoped 29 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 1: that it would be. At the same time, my wife 30 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: and I, Kylie, and I had just had our second daughter, 31 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 1: and I was really failing as a father. I was 32 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: this mid twenties guy radio jock, had no idea how 33 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: to be a dad, because, let's face it, we just 34 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: have children. Nobody tells us how to be parents. We 35 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: just become parents. And I was doing it, I think 36 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: a terrible job, quite honestly. And there was one particular 37 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: incident that I remember when my oldest daughter as a 38 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 1: little two or three year old toddler. She was not 39 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: playing the game that I wanted her to play. She 40 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: wouldn't do as she was told. Kylie had left me 41 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: for the afternoon. It was a Saturday AVO, and I 42 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: was exhausted from work and just not in the mindset 43 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: for looking after my toddler, and I did not deal 44 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: well with her oppositional behavior. She was defined I got angry. 45 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: I yelled at her, I threatened her. Eventually I smacked 46 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: her and threw. 47 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 2: Her into her room onto her bed. 48 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: I did it in a way that I knew that 49 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to hurt her, but I was so angry. 50 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: I can't. I mean, seriously, who throws their daughter, right? 51 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: But that was the level that I was at as 52 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: a parent. I had no idea how to do parenting, 53 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: and I was failing terribly. I shouted at her, I 54 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: smacked her, I left her in a bedroom, slammed the door, 55 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: and I went outside to calm down. As I stepped 56 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: out onto the back porch, I overheard across the back 57 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: fence and down the street adjacent to ours, somewhere in 58 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: the neighborhood a father going through exactly what I'd just 59 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: gone through. He was screaming at his title. The title 60 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: was wailing at the top of his or her lungs, 61 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: and I just knew that he was hitting her or 62 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: him and hurting this baby. And it was like what 63 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: I'd just done was reflected right back to me, and 64 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,240 Speaker 1: it felt sickening, and I just thought to myself, I've got. 65 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 2: To do better at this. 66 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: So I started to trying to learn all I could 67 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: about parenting. Eventually, I actually said to my wife, I 68 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: want to learn more about this parenting stuff, and I 69 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: think I want to leave my radio career and learn 70 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 1: how to do parenting better. I think I want to 71 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: do a degree. And amazingly she said, okay, So here 72 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: we are with two kids. I'd been almost a high 73 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 1: school dropout, so I had to go and do an 74 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: advanced applomer at Taife just so that I could actually 75 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: get into university, and then I did a four year 76 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: undergraduate degree in psychological science. I graduated with first class honors, 77 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: which amazed me because I always thought I was kind 78 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: of unintelligent. I still think I'm not the most intelligent 79 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 1: guy on the block. But I worked really hard and 80 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: somehow got the first class honors and was offered a 81 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: range of PhD scholarships around the country from a handful 82 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 1: of universities, and also got into a highly competitive master's 83 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: program to become a psychologist. I ended up choosing the 84 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: PhD at the University of Woollongong that I was offered, 85 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: and three and a half years after that, I finally graduated, 86 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: having earned a first class honors in psych science. And 87 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: a PhD in psychology. In addition. Along the way during 88 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: the degrees, Kylie and I had our third and fourth 89 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: and fifth daughters, and at the time of recording this, 90 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: we're recording this late July early August twenty fourteen. We've 91 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: just had our sixth door and we absolutely adore our 92 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: kids and parenting has changed enormously over the years as 93 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: I've gone through those studies, worked at the university as 94 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: a lecturer and a researcher, and now built my own 95 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: business Happy Families. 96 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 2: Okay, so what else can I tell you? 97 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,280 Speaker 1: Professionally, I've done a lot of publishing of academic research 98 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: and papers in peer reviewed books and journals. I write 99 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 1: a weekly advice column for The Daily Telegraph. It's probably 100 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: one of Australia's highest circulation newspapers on a Saturday. And 101 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: I'm also the parenting expert for kidspot dot com dot Au, 102 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,160 Speaker 1: one of Australia's biggest parenting portals, as well as being 103 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: the parenting expert for Channel Nine's Mornings and participating in 104 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: parenting commentary on the Today Show, The Project and a 105 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: handful of other radio stations and TV programs. 106 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 2: Around the country. 107 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 1: I reviewed content for the Australian Commonwealth Governments Raising Children Network. 108 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: You've probably seen their website there. And I also act 109 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: as a cyber safety advisor for the McAfee and Life 110 00:04:55,560 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: Education b Cyberwise program and the Alanna and Maddelin Foundations 111 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: Smart Homes Licensing System. And I'm an honorary Fellow at 112 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 1: the University of Wollongong and a senior Associate with the 113 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: Positive Psychology Institute. That's enough about me. I probably should 114 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: tell you that away from work, I absolutely cherish my 115 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: wife Kylie. She has been my supporters. I've moved around 116 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: the country as a radio announcer and then as I've 117 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: gone back to school and done all of this study 118 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,720 Speaker 1: and put my family through eight and a half years 119 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: of poverty while I was a student, Kylie has been 120 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 1: the most phenomenal support that any wife could be. And 121 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 1: I think that I'll probably get Kylie in for one 122 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,920 Speaker 1: of these podcast episodes so that you can meet her 123 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: and understand what she's like as a mum and a wife, 124 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: because I think that she's a fantastic example and someone 125 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,359 Speaker 1: that you should get to know a little bit more so. 126 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: As I said, we have six daughters. They give me 127 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: endless opportunities to practice what I preach, and I cannot 128 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: spend enough time with them and cuddle them enough. I'm 129 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: a cycling fanatic. I love writing my pushbike whenever I 130 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: get a spare minute, and a Sunday morning church goer. 131 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: I'm an avid reader. I'm always reading about five books 132 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: at once, and basically I'm a type A guy who's 133 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: trying really hard to do more and really acts just 134 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: that bit more as well. At the same time, it's 135 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: not working very well at all. So that's my story. 136 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: And now I think, let's talk about this podcast. What's 137 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 1: it all about. If you followed it along at happy 138 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: families dot com dot you or at my Happy Family's 139 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: Facebook page, you'll pretty much see more of the same 140 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: sort of content here. But I'm going to be fleshing 141 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 1: ideas out a lot more because it's so much easier 142 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: to talk than to type, and I can share with 143 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:27,359 Speaker 1: you and hopefully really drill down into the ideas that 144 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 1: I can't always explore fully in a six hundred word blog. 145 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 1: So that means that I'm going to be talking about 146 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: parenting and children and child development and discipline and how 147 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: to make your family happy and from time to time, 148 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: I'll comment on current issues as well, so I plan 149 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: on answering your questions. In fact, this is something that 150 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: I'm really looking forward to in this podcast. I want 151 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: this podcast to be built around your questions, and I'll 152 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: tell you more about how that's going to work a 153 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: little bit later. So let's get stuck into today's podcast, 154 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: shall we. I'm really excited to share some ideas about 155 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: how we can proactively set our family up to be happy, 156 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 1: because it starts with the decisions that we make ahead 157 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 1: of time as parents and actually planning to make a 158 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: happy family. If you sit back and relax and wait 159 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: for your family to get happy, it's probably not going 160 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: to happen. You can't just drift into a happy family. 161 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: You have to plan for it and make it happen. 162 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 1: And while those best laid plans can come undone, when 163 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: we're proactive, we can do a lot more with our 164 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: families than we probably would be able to if we 165 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: were simply reacting to whatever comes our way. So I'm 166 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: going to share my seven tips for proactively making families 167 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 1: happy right after this. 168 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 3: We all love our children, but sometimes they can make 169 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 3: life challenging, and we're all searching for the right answers. 170 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 3: In the end, all we want is happy children and 171 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 3: happy families. Doctor Justin Coulson is one of Australia's most 172 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: respected parenting voices. His seminars equipped and empowered thousands of 173 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 3: parents to make their families happier. But sometimes getting to 174 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 3: a parenting seminar can be tough. Now you can watch 175 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 3: one of doctor Justin's seminars from the comfort of your 176 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 3: own home and at a time that works for you. 177 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 4: In this seminar video available online now, you're invited to 178 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 4: sit in on one of doctor Justin's parenting seminars as 179 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 4: he takes you from confusion to clarity. Combining parenting research 180 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 4: with heartfelt stories, you'll discover the three essential keys to 181 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 4: raising a resilient child and creating a happy family. What 182 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 4: your child needs from you from Doctor Justin Coulson at 183 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 4: happy families dot com dot Au. Download this ninety minute 184 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 4: seminar now or purchase the DVD at happy families dot 185 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 4: com dot Au. 186 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,439 Speaker 1: Let's face it, as a society, we're pretty highly strung. 187 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: Whatever you say to somebody, hey, hey, you going, the 188 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: most common answer is I'm busy. 189 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: I'm so flat out I'm under the pup I'm stressed. 190 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 2: And while a select. 191 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 1: Few have really got it together and they're relaxed and 192 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 1: they're living those lives that everything seems perfectly balanced, the 193 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: reality is that for most of us life is full on. 194 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:56,080 Speaker 1: Family life in particular is frantic, and we often don't 195 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: feel like everything's under control of that much. I actually 196 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: think that generally speaking, we're pretty reactive. We fly by 197 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,559 Speaker 1: the seat of our pants and we just respond to incidents, 198 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: put out fires, scratch every itch, and we try to 199 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 1: be everywhere for everyone at once. The problem, of course, 200 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: as you know, with being reactive and responding to whatever 201 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: comes our way, is that we struggle to fit in 202 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: the really important stuff on a consistent basis. Because we're 203 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: so busy responding to every emergency. To paraphrase a song, 204 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: we end up giving the least to those who matter 205 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: most and sharing our best with those that really aren't 206 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 1: that close, which is hardly a recipe for a happy family. 207 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: The thing is, strong families don't happen by accident. They're 208 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: actually the product of consistent, proactive efforts on the part 209 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: of mum and dad, on the part of parents who 210 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: make the family a priority. And I know that this 211 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: is so hard because life really does get in the 212 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 1: way of having the life that we want. But when 213 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,679 Speaker 1: we plan for a happy family, when we put certain 214 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,440 Speaker 1: big rocks in place, and then put all the little 215 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: rocks around that can fit the big things in, it's 216 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: just something that requires proactivity. And I was having a 217 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: chat with a friend of mine about this idea. He's 218 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: a guy with six kids. All but the youngest have 219 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: grown up. His youngest is in his mid teens now, 220 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: but the rest of them have grown up and left 221 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: the nest. And we came up with seven habits for 222 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: proactive parenting to make our families stronger and happier. So Carl, 223 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 1: thanks for your ideas, and here they are with a 224 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: little bit of a happy Famili's justin calls some twist 225 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 1: have a number one. A family focus is imperative. Do 226 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: you know what your family's really about? It sounds very corporate, 227 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: this idea of maybe having a family mission statement or 228 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: family guiding principles or something like that. But if we 229 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: don't have clear objectives or goals for our family, what 230 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: are we really working towards. We need to know where 231 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: we're going. We don't just get in the car and 232 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: start driving, Well, kids, where should we go today? We 233 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: actually know where we're going before we get in the car, 234 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: and I think we need to know the same thing 235 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 1: with our family. I love that scene in Alice in Wonderland. 236 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 1: Alis's conversing with the Cheshire cat and she says to 237 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: the cat, would you please tell me which way I 238 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,839 Speaker 1: ought to go from here? And the cat responds, well, 239 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: that depends a good deal on where you want to go, 240 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: And Alice says, I don't much care where, and the 241 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,719 Speaker 1: cat responds, well, then it doesn't matter which way you go. 242 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: So our families tried a variety of things over the years, 243 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: and we've had mixed success. I've got to be honest, 244 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: I really don't like the idea of sitting down and 245 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: writing a family mission statement. It becomes this thing on 246 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,200 Speaker 1: paper that sits on the fridge that everybody stops looking 247 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 1: at after a week and we forget what it's all 248 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: about anyway. 249 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 2: But one thing that has really stuck with. 250 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: Us is guiding principles in our family. We've come up 251 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,199 Speaker 1: with four principles that we try to use as guiding 252 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: principles in all of our interactions. Those guiding principles are kindness, respect, gratitude, 253 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: and service. I know it sounds a bit like a 254 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 1: lot of schools have got their guiding principles, but it's 255 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: not lip service. 256 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 2: The more you integrate it, the better the results. 257 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: And so we talk a lot about kindness and respect 258 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 1: and gratitude and service. We pull stories out of the media, 259 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: maybe little things that pop up on Facebook. We talk 260 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: about them all the time. When incidents happen at home, 261 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: we talk about whether it was kind or not and 262 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: what we could do to have more kindness. Now, it 263 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: doesn't make for perfect kids, but what we have found 264 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: is that it makes a really big difference. So whether 265 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 1: or not you want to put together a mission statement, 266 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:20,079 Speaker 1: a manifesto, or guiding principles, regardless of what you want 267 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 1: to call it, proactive parents know what their family is about, 268 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,839 Speaker 1: and they work towards it, and they put things on 269 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: paper to actually make this stuff happen. Hab At number 270 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 1: two is having a parent's retreat. Proactive parents take regular 271 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 1: retreats with one another without the kids if they can, 272 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: for two reasons. First of all, it rejuvenates your relationship 273 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: and it re establishes those strong connections within the couple. Relationship. 274 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 2: Now. 275 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 1: I know that not everybody can do this, but if 276 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:53,199 Speaker 1: you are in a couple relationship, this is so important. 277 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 2: It allows for intimacy without. 278 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: The kids as well the threat that a child might 279 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 1: walk in and disturb you at a sensitive moment. 280 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 2: But it also provides a. 281 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: Chance to refocus on priorities and plan for family needs. 282 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: I recently spoke with a dad who described how he 283 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: and his wife would disappear for two or three days 284 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: once or twice a year as their children grew up. 285 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 2: And they spent time together as a couple. 286 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: One of those days, they worked through a very serious 287 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: agenda that was written out ahead of time, planning around 288 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: their family and. 289 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 2: Other aspects of the lives. 290 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: They'd actually talk about each child and what they could 291 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: do to guide and help that child during the coming months, 292 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 1: and they considered that child's needs, a child's progress, what 293 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,719 Speaker 1: was going well, where they could make changes to help 294 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 1: that child do better, and they did that for each 295 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: of their children. Kylie and I have a commitment to 296 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 1: getting away for a night, just one night every three months. 297 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 1: And I know that not everyone can do this, but 298 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: be creative and come up with ideas. Perhaps you can 299 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 1: get parents involved for a night. Maybe you can tag 300 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 1: team with another couple and you can say, well, we'll 301 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: look after your kids on this weekend, if you can 302 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: look after our kids on that weekend. Or perhaps you 303 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,599 Speaker 1: can do it on the cheap. Maybe house swap with 304 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,199 Speaker 1: your babysitter, house swap with your parents. 305 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: Just go to a new environment. 306 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: If money is lacking and you can't afford hotels and things, 307 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: but get away on a parent's retreat once every three months, 308 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: just overnight or for a couple of nights, if you 309 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 1: can have a number three. 310 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,319 Speaker 2: Take regular family holidays now. 311 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 1: They don't need to be expensive, they just need to 312 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 1: be about time together. A lot of people see school 313 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: holidays as this logistical challenge, what am I going to 314 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: do with the children? But most of us, especially if 315 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: we've got full time work, get and you will leave. 316 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: If you get four weeks of holiday a year, take 317 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: a week off each holiday. It can be done. It 318 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be costly. Just get away with the 319 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: family for a week. In our family, we try to 320 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: have one camping break each year. We try to have 321 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: two holidays at home that are just having fun. I'll 322 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: take a week off work, We'll go to the beach 323 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 1: where the kids we'll go for bike rides and we 324 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: simply let go of our agenda for a week, and 325 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 1: then we try to have one holiday a year where 326 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 1: we actually go somewhere. We don't always get it just right, 327 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: but that's what our goal is. Four holidays, one camping, 328 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: two at home, and one actually go going away for 329 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: a big holiday if we can have it. Number four 330 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: have family dinners. Proactively plan for family dinners. Regular family dinners, 331 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 1: research tells us lead to family satisfaction, lead to stability, 332 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: lead to positive outcomes for our children. Families do best 333 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: when there's time set aside every day or at least 334 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: several times a week, when everyone's together and everyone's connecting. 335 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: There's stacks of research. It may not actually be the 336 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: food and sitting down and having a family dinner that 337 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: makes this work. It's probably more about what families are 338 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: doing when they're at dinner. But sitting down and having 339 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 1: a family dinner several times a week every night if 340 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 1: you can, is a proactive thing that you can do 341 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 1: to make your family happier. Have it. Number five put 342 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 1: your devices away. Proactive parents have boundaries around when and 343 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: where the internet and electronic devices are going to be 344 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: used and they stick with them. And those boundaries are 345 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: not just for the kids, Mum and dad, they're for 346 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: us as well, because proactive parents know that time with 347 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: family means time spend talking and being attentive and looking 348 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: at someone and making eye contact and being present with them. 349 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 1: So a couple of ideas, maybe you can have a 350 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 1: phone stack, or everyone just puts their phones on top 351 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: of each other, plugs them into the charger and leaves 352 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: them alone during family meals or during family time. There 353 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 1: was a recent study in fact, that showed that the 354 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: quality of our interactions is rated as lower when a 355 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 1: phone is present, even if it's not being used, if 356 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: we've just got it on the table, or if we've 357 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 1: got in our lap or in our hand, the quality 358 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 1: of our interactions is reduced. So put the devices away 359 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: and make your family happier. Have at number six weekend time. 360 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: Taking time to recharge our own batteries and spend quality 361 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: time outdoors, having nature time with the kids builds our 362 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 1: family relationships. But we've got to be proactive about it 363 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: because it's so easy to just drift into the weekend, 364 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 1: sleep in, get up tied to the house if it 365 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 1: wash the car over the lawn, hang out some washing, 366 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: maybe do a bit of shopping. We've got to be 367 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: proactive about it. And if we're proactive about it, we 368 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: might just take a trip to a nearby park. We 369 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 1: might go down to the beach, or go for a 370 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 1: hike in the nearby hills or mountains or whatever we've 371 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: got nearby. Maybe we'll go for a bike ride. But 372 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 1: be proactive for at least part of the weekend. We 373 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: don't have to absolutely get lost for the entire weekend, 374 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: but be proactive for at least part of the weekend 375 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: and happen at number seven. This is a really interesting 376 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,159 Speaker 1: one that this friend Carl suggested to me, and it 377 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 1: was one that I've heard before and I've started doing 378 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 1: with my family, and it's made a really big difference. 379 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: Interviews interviews with your kids. Some of the most proactive 380 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: parents that I've spoken with have a time once a 381 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: month to have a one on one interview with their 382 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: children and they talk about challenges, they teach principles, they 383 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: get into the detail of their kids' lives, and they 384 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 1: stay close to their kids. As I mentioned, we've started 385 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,720 Speaker 1: doing it with our children, and our children absolutely love it. 386 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: It's really concentrated time. It's one on one time. We 387 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 1: get into the detail of their lives and we find 388 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: out amazing things. 389 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 2: Plus we get to ask how we're. 390 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: Doing and how our children would run the family differently, 391 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: which is always eye opening. It always teaches us some 392 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: pretty remarkable things. Okay, So these ideas require effort. That's 393 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: what being proactive is. We make a choice to be 394 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: active participants in our lives and in our children's lives 395 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: rather than being passive and reactive. Let me share with 396 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,439 Speaker 1: you a bonus idea as well. Our church recommends that 397 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: we set aside one night each week as a designated 398 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: family night. No screens, just family time together. So in 399 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: our family, we talk about the principles that we think matter. 400 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 1: We've got a Christian faith, so we often talk about 401 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,359 Speaker 1: things that are in the scriptures. We share stories that 402 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,639 Speaker 1: are faith promoting. But we also play games and we 403 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: have some kind of treat and we just have this 404 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,639 Speaker 1: dedicated family time. It's a terrific way for us to 405 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,239 Speaker 1: spend time together. And that's a bonus idea that I 406 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 1: think can help to have a proactive family. Reactive parenting 407 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: only requires that we respond to emergencies or we respond 408 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: to responsibilities. 409 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 2: As they come up. 410 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,920 Speaker 1: But reactive parenting doesn't build real lifelationships or memories, certainly 411 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: not the kind that we want to build. Strong families 412 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 1: require us to be disciplined, to be consistent, and to 413 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 1: have a commitment to putting our family first, particularly when 414 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 1: life is intense and challenging or even out of control. 415 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: And let's face it, for some of us it really 416 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: can be. I think that one of the greatest predictors 417 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 1: of our children's success and well being is the quality 418 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: of their relationship with their parents. So these strategies are 419 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: all based around time together, are proactive ideas that can 420 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: help make families stronger and happier. 421 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 2: So here's a question that I want to leave you with. 422 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 2: Is we wrap up this. 423 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: Segment, what one proactive habit or idea do you think 424 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 1: is important to make your family happy? How do you 425 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 1: make it happen? How do you be proactive in your family? 426 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: Can you leave your answer at happy families dot com 427 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: dot I use slash one as in the number one 428 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: Happy families dot com dot I use slash one. Just 429 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,719 Speaker 1: scroll down to the bottom of the notes there and 430 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,479 Speaker 1: there's a place to leave your comments and any questions 431 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: that you've got as well. I would love to hear 432 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 1: from you and get some conversation going around this idea 433 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,640 Speaker 1: of being proactive in our family. And up next I'll 434 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: talk to you about how perhaps I can help you. 435 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 3: Your conference is about to start. I wonder what's going 436 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 3: to happen next. Perhaps you're worried about the guest speakers. 437 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 3: What will they say? Will it be appropriate, relevant, up 438 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 3: to date? Is it going to be boring? You want 439 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 3: people to come to you at the end of the 440 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 3: day and say, wow, thanks for organizing today. I took 441 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 3: so much away from the conference. Doctor Justin Coulson can help. 442 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 4: He provides keynote speeches from thirty minutes to an hour 443 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 4: and a half, workshops from ninety minutes to half days, 444 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 4: and even day long seminars. If you'd like to learn 445 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 4: more about getting a speaker will help your audience learn, laugh, 446 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 4: and leave with practical tools that will empower them to 447 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 4: be better parents. Visit happy Families dot com dot au 448 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 4: for more information about booking Doctor Justin Coulson as a 449 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 4: speaker at your next conference. 450 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: So each week during this podcast, I'm going to be 451 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,439 Speaker 1: doing what I can to answer your parenting questions if 452 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: you're dealing with issues with the kids or if you're 453 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: dealing with issues in your parenting Got a happy fanamilies 454 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: dot com dot u slash questions. That's happy families dot 455 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: com dot I u slash questions and leave me a 456 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: voicemail or you can leave me a written response as well. 457 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,880 Speaker 1: Let me know briefly what your question is. I'll answer 458 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: one or two, depending on how many we've got time for, 459 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: maybe even three each week in the podcast. Unfortunately, because 460 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,120 Speaker 1: I've spent so much time sharing so many tips today 461 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: and also getting to know you a little bit or 462 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 1: helping you to get to know me a little bit, 463 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: I won't be answering any today, but i'd love your questions. 464 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: I've already got a bit of a stockpile ready to 465 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,919 Speaker 1: go from people who have been asking questions. But just 466 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: go to happy families dot com dot au slash questions 467 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: and I would love to respond to as many of 468 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: your questions as I can. You can leave a voicemail 469 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: message there, or you can email me with your questions. 470 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:49,399 Speaker 1: That's happy families dot com dot au slash questions. The 471 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: last thing that I'm going to share with you Today 472 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: is my tip of the week, and I'll share that 473 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 1: with you right after this. 474 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,880 Speaker 4: Have you been waiting to attend one of doctor Justin 475 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 4: Coulson's parenting workshops, but so far your schedules simply haven't aligned. 476 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 4: But let him come to you. You can have one 477 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 4: of Australia's most respected parenting experts in your loundroom. Learn 478 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 4: how to build a strong connection with your children, how 479 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,359 Speaker 4: to really understand them, and how to discipline them in 480 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 4: ways that teach and that everyone can feel good about. Plus, 481 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 4: you can have all your parenting questions answered without even 482 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 4: leaving your loundroom. Organize some friends and enjoy an intimate, 483 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 4: thought provoking fun evening in with a parenting expert in 484 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 4: your loundroom. Visit happy families dot com dot au, forward 485 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 4: slash loundroom, or email Kylie at Happyfamilies dot com dot 486 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,400 Speaker 4: Au for more information. 487 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: So each week my plan is to bring you a 488 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: Tip of the week, something that will be helpful for 489 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 1: you and your family, something really simple that you can 490 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: do to make things work better, or to make better decisions, 491 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 1: or whatever it might be. This week, I want to 492 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 1: tell you about a couple of really great online resources 493 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: to help you to work out whether or not a 494 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,159 Speaker 1: movie or a book or a TV show that your 495 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 1: kids want to watch your read is okay. Two websites, 496 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:02,400 Speaker 1: CommonSenseMedia dot com and kid in Mind dot com. They're 497 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: great resources. They give you a really good overview of 498 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: the content that's in these things that our kids want 499 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 1: to be involved with and help us to understand whether 500 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: or not we should be saying okay or whether we 501 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: should suggest that they maybe wait another year or two 502 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 1: before they get stuck into it. I also heard about 503 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: another one this week that I haven't checked out, called 504 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 1: It's okay dot com. So that's kids in Mind dot com, 505 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 1: common Sense Media dot com and It's okay dot com 506 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: some ideas for whether or not giving you some input 507 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: as to whether or not certain movies, TV shows or 508 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: books are going to be okay for your children at 509 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: the age that they are right now. 510 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 2: Well, that's about it for today. 511 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: If you have any questions, once again, go to Happy 512 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: Families dot com dot I use slash questions and I'll 513 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: do my very best to answer those questions in an 514 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 1: upcoming podcast. And if you've enjoyed this episode, please go 515 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,360 Speaker 1: to Happy Families dot com dot I use slash podcast 516 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,640 Speaker 1: slash one. You can get the outline and the resource 517 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 1: links for the show notes there. That's Happy for Families 518 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 1: dot com dot. I use slash podcast slash. 519 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 2: One as in the number one. 520 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: And if you think that the podcast has been useful, 521 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,199 Speaker 1: if you've enjoyed it, what I'd be most grateful for 522 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: is this, if you could visit that link Happy families 523 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,880 Speaker 1: dot com dot. I use slash podcast slash one as 524 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 1: in the number one. And once you're there, you'll be 525 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: able to link and share everything about this podcast with 526 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: your friends and followers on Facebook and Twitter. And I'd 527 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,719 Speaker 1: be even more grateful if you'd not only share it 528 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,359 Speaker 1: that way, but if you'd rate the podcast on iTunes, 529 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,240 Speaker 1: Because it's your ratings that actually determine how likely this 530 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: is that people are going to discover the podcast. The 531 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 1: ratings that you make will increase. 532 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:37,719 Speaker 2: How visible the podcast is. 533 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 1: Other people will be able to find out about it, 534 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: and hopefully they'll also get value from it as you 535 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 1: hopefully have, and make their families happier. So, if this 536 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,800 Speaker 1: podcast is valuable to you, and hopefully it's going to 537 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,120 Speaker 1: be valuable to you and everyone else, please visit iTunes 538 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 1: rate the podcast share it. 539 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:53,920 Speaker 2: That would be awesome. 540 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 1: And of course while you're in iTunes, you can subscribe 541 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 1: to the podcast as well. 542 00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,959 Speaker 2: Well, that's it for this week. I'll have another podcast 543 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,439 Speaker 2: ready to go next week. 544 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 1: Until then, remember that you don't have to be the 545 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,199 Speaker 1: best parent in the world. You just have to be 546 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: the best parent in your children's world. So go and 547 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: make your family happy.