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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for.

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Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just once answers now.

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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot a U and the husband of missus

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Speaker 3: Happy Families, Kylie Coulson. We're parents, have six daughters, and

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Speaker 3: it's a brand new year, twenty twenty three. Welcome to

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Speaker 3: the podcast. If you missed yesterday, we're kicking off the

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Speaker 3: year by talking about how we can be.

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Speaker 1: Better this year.

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Speaker 3: Yesterday six tips, well seven if you include by a puppy.

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Speaker 3: Six tips for you can be a better parent this year. Today, though,

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Speaker 3: another idea that we didn't even touch on yesterday that

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Speaker 3: I think is really, really tremendously valuable if we want

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Speaker 3: to dial our parenting in and Kylie, it's something that

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Speaker 3: you do frequently.

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Speaker 1: I used to be really good at it.

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Speaker 3: I've slacked off. I need to pick it up again.

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Speaker 3: Why don't you tell us how do you think we

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Speaker 3: can be better parents?

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Speaker 2: So, one of the best things that I think we

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Speaker 2: can do as parents and as individuals in general is journaling.

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Speaker 3: Journaling, Yeah, yeah, It's.

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Speaker 2: Such a powerful way to actually learn and grow and

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Speaker 2: see progression. It's a tangible way to see it because

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Speaker 2: so often in our lives, especially when we're working on things,

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Speaker 2: we don't recognize the incremental changes that are taking place,

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Speaker 2: and because just because we're so close to the situation.

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Speaker 2: But if we take the time to write things down,

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Speaker 2: we actually have a metric to see that progress.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so it's actually a measurable If you're a parent

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Speaker 3: and you want to be a better parent, and you

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Speaker 3: think this ide your journal is probably valuable, or you're

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Speaker 3: already a journaler, but you think maybe if I journal

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Speaker 3: more about parenting, why would that help?

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Speaker 1: Like, how do you see that helping.

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Speaker 3: I've got a bunch of ideas, but I would love

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Speaker 3: to hear from you because you actually do it.

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Speaker 2: I think because it makes you intentional.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: So, one of the best journaling formats that I've used

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Speaker 2: over the years is actually more of a gratitude journal.

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Speaker 2: But it asked me to think about three things that

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Speaker 2: I would do today to make today great. And so

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Speaker 2: if we put that into a parenting context, I start

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Speaker 2: my day thinking about three ways I can be a

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Speaker 2: better parent.

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Speaker 3: Right, So it's basically it's a way of establishing intention.

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Speaker 3: And then you used to also write in that journal

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Speaker 3: every night, so it was a morning and night thing,

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Speaker 3: five minutes each time.

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Speaker 2: That's right. And so at the end of the day,

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Speaker 2: it's a reflection. Yep, what three things happened today that

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Speaker 2: made today great? But then the last one, which I

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Speaker 2: absolutely love. What did I learn?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So there's accountability and learning, and.

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Speaker 2: The learning was Actually it was really hard sometimes to

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Speaker 2: sit there when I could think of, you know, as

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Speaker 2: I walked through my day and I just saw frustration

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Speaker 2: in every moment, and I think, how the heck can

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Speaker 2: I find anything noteworthy to learn from this moment? And

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Speaker 2: it would sometimes take me, you know, twenty minutes of

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Speaker 2: just pondering on that as I was doing other bits

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Speaker 2: and pieces, and then the aha moment came. And so

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Speaker 2: often when we have these experiences, because we're just so

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Speaker 2: caught up in the moment, we actually don't recognize the

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Speaker 2: learning that we can take from the moments, the hard moments,

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Speaker 2: but also the joyful moments, because when everything's going right,

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Speaker 2: you can often look at it and think, well, there's

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Speaker 2: nothing really to learn here because everything's great. But what

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Speaker 2: did I actually do to set my day up to

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Speaker 2: make it great? Oh? That's right, I did X Y

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Speaker 2: and Z, and those things actually helped me be my best.

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Speaker 3: So I think there's a couple of other things that

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Speaker 3: journaling will do. And this is why I advocate it,

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Speaker 3: and I used to do it, and maybe this year

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Speaker 3: I might.

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Speaker 1: Get back into it again. Maybe we'll develop a happy

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Speaker 1: family's parenting journal. I like the idea of that. I'll

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Speaker 1: get the team on that.

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Speaker 2: Don't say that like you think you've just come up

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Speaker 2: with that idea.

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Speaker 1: I think we should do it.

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Speaker 2: I've just been begging for it for how many probably.

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Speaker 1: About six or seven years, I know. But maybe this year,

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Speaker 1: maybe this is the year that we'll do it.

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Speaker 3: Maybe what happens is not only does it help you

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Speaker 3: to set an intention and be accountable if the journal

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Speaker 3: is set up the right way, but journaling when when

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Speaker 3: you write something down, it forces you to clarify your thinking.

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Speaker 3: Writing things down, typing things, whatever it is, it forces

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Speaker 3: you to clarify thinking in a way that you might

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Speaker 3: not otherwise do it. You can say, oh, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: know what that's about. But until you sit there and

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Speaker 3: write it, until you have to say it, explain it,

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Speaker 3: explore it, you don't know what you do or don't

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Speaker 3: know it's incredible as a clarification tool. The other thing

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Speaker 3: that I think is really valuable about a journal is

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Speaker 3: it helps you to remember things.

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Speaker 1: Like you've talked about.

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Speaker 3: Tracking progress and seeing growth, but you forget so much stuff.

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Speaker 3: And when you read back through a journal that you've

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Speaker 3: kept studiously, you're like, oh, hang on, I don't remember

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Speaker 3: that happening, but I've got a record of it, so

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Speaker 3: it actually did happen. And it seems like I used

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Speaker 3: to be a really miserable person and now I'm not

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Speaker 3: nearly so miserable. Or look at how much I've mature.

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Speaker 3: I always thought that I was as smart as I

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Speaker 3: am today, but I'm not, or whatever it might be.

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Speaker 2: I think for me, one of the most joyful things

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Speaker 2: about keeping a record of my life has been when

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Speaker 2: things get it's tough, I've been able to go back

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Speaker 2: and read over the great life that I've lived. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: and it has filled my cup to overflowing in a

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Speaker 2: recognition that while right now doesn't feel great, I have

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Speaker 2: lived an amazing life and have had so much to

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Speaker 2: be grateful for. And because it's my writing, it's my words,

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Speaker 2: there's just power in that. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Research shows that people are inspired by reading their

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Speaker 3: own journals, and also that things like their memory memory

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Speaker 3: can be improved, stress and anxiety can be reduced by

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Speaker 3: being a frequent journaler. We can actually become better people,

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Speaker 3: I think because of the intention that it sets and

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Speaker 3: the accountability that it promotes. So want to be a

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Speaker 3: better parent this year. Wants to be the best parent

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Speaker 3: you can. We're going to recommend that you do some journaling.

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Speaker 3: Write it down and see if it helps you to

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Speaker 3: do better this year.

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Speaker 2: And if journaling is something that you're starting for the

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Speaker 2: very first time, make it easy. Just get a week

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Speaker 2: to a page. You've only got a couple of lines

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Speaker 2: to fill in, and say that each day you're going

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Speaker 2: to write three things you're grateful for, or you're going

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Speaker 2: to write three things you want to Maybe is there

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Speaker 2: even one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one thing I'm going to do today and then

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Speaker 1: write about it that night.

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Speaker 2: And then reflect one thing that you were going to do.

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Speaker 3: Fantastic stuff. Just realize the dog's been chewing my microphone lead.

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad that I'm still working. I'm going to

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Speaker 3: write that in my journal about reminding me.

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Speaker 2: Not to leave your things lying around.

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Speaker 3: I was going to say not to buy a Puppy

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Speaker 3: Hey tomorrow having a chat with Madonna King, and then

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Speaker 3: on Thursday we're going to talk about how to bring

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Speaker 3: the family in on goal setting, because chances are by

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Speaker 3: the fifth, which is what Thursday will be, by the

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Speaker 3: fifth of January, those news resolutions might have already gone

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Speaker 3: down the tube, so we're going to talk to you

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Speaker 3: about how to make that happen. It's all coming up

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Speaker 3: on the Happy Families podcast summer series produced by Justin

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Speaker 3: Roland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

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Speaker 3: We'll talk to you again tomorrow