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Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. You're currently in a

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Speaker 2: relationship where you own significantly more than your partner, or

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Speaker 2: maybe they own significantly more than you. Managing money is

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Speaker 2: really difficult in relationships at the best of times.

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Speaker 3: So how do we do it when our income.

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Speaker 2: Differs dramatically from our partners. My name is Georgia King,

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Speaker 2: and as always I am joined by financial advisor Victoria

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Speaker 2: devine v has the COVID just a little.

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Speaker 3: Check in out.

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Speaker 4: Thank you still and I so I sound much better

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Speaker 4: than I did for a very significant part of last week.

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Speaker 4: I sounded like a small, helpless baby seal well, literally,

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Speaker 4: we very nice.

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Speaker 2: We sat down to record a couple of EPs and

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Speaker 2: you had no voice.

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Speaker 4: It was one of those things where that sounds silly

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Speaker 4: because like, obviously I should have canceled. But we'd organized

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Speaker 4: a very early morning record on what some people call

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Speaker 4: Australia Day because we just worked that day. Because hot

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Speaker 4: girls do not celebrate Australia Day anyway, we had an

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Speaker 4: eight am recording. My partner had gone to golf at

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Speaker 4: six am, so I hadn't spoken to anybody. Get on

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Speaker 4: the blower with you, and You're like, what is wrong

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Speaker 4: with you? And I was like, oh no and you

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Speaker 4: and you were like at Victoria, you sound like you've

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Speaker 4: got COVID And I was like, better get a test.

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Speaker 4: So did a rat And you've never seen a Reddit

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Speaker 4: covid line. Honestly, straight out the gates. She had COVID

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Speaker 4: and she had it bad. Yeah, so I'm still in

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Speaker 4: ISO until Wednesday, when this episode drops, I will have

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Speaker 4: my freedom back, pending a negative rat test.

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Speaker 2: George King amazing, doll. Well, it's good to see you well,

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Speaker 2: healthy and thriving.

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Speaker 4: And I have a voice. She has a voice.

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Speaker 3: Also.

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Speaker 2: While we're on that, I'm you know, a little hungover today.

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Speaker 2: So if my voice sounds a little different, little huskier,

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Speaker 2: little more solitary, is.

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Speaker 4: Why Georgia King hung over?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: A bit naughty from me.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, let's move on through the crux of today's show.

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Speaker 2: You went viral a few weeks ago when discussing the

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Speaker 2: importance of financial.

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Speaker 4: Equity over equality in a relationship. Okay, but I didn't

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Speaker 4: know that was going to go viral. I didn't know

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Speaker 4: that that topic was as spicy as it ended up

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Speaker 4: such a spicy topic. Look, it was spicy. I totally agree.

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Speaker 4: I just didn't think i'd get the hundreds of comments

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Speaker 4: I got on both TikTok and Instagram. That video you're

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Speaker 4: talking about, George just had like two hundred thousand views

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Speaker 4: on Instagram and more than a million on TikTok. Now,

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Speaker 4: like what insane?

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Speaker 3: And the Daily Mail picked it up.

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Speaker 4: So oh yeah, she's fine, and they're just like this

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Speaker 4: spicy financial advisor is full of herself and keeps telling

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Speaker 4: us what to do with her money and the thing

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Speaker 4: that I was so surprised about. And I guess this

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Speaker 4: is what happens when things go beyond our community. Because Georgia,

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Speaker 4: if you'd just seen it, you would have been like,

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Speaker 4: good point, V. That's an interesting point of view. But

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Speaker 4: you would have known how I feel about money and

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Speaker 4: equity and equality and that I'm a wildly passionate feminist.

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Speaker 4: But it got onto the wrong side of TikTok, and

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Speaker 4: I'm still having people message me being like that's entitle Well,

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Speaker 4: if you earned more than your partner, you wouldn't let

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Speaker 4: him do that, or oh I bet she doesn't think

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Speaker 4: that way when it comes to her own bank accounts, like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, I definitely fell onto the wrong side

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Speaker 4: of TikTok that day. But that's why we need to

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Speaker 4: talk about this, because it was such a spicy topic,

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Speaker 4: especially and I mean, if you've got some free time, guys,

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Speaker 4: go read the comments because some of them are really interesting.

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Speaker 4: Some of them are like, Wow, this is how I

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Speaker 4: do it, or sharing really interesting perspectives. Other people are like, wow,

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Speaker 4: I hadn't thought of this. Some people like, oh, I've

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Speaker 4: been doing this for years, can't believe you're only thinking

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Speaker 4: of it now. Other people are like, this is so entitled.

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Speaker 4: I would never I'm an independent woman. How dare you

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Speaker 4: suggest I pay less? And I was like, ooh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: what have I done? Jeeking? But that's what this episode

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Speaker 4: is about. That's what I wanted to talk about. And

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Speaker 4: yes that happened. I think it was two weeks ago,

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Speaker 4: but we took a fairwheill making sure that this episode

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Speaker 4: was juicy. George, we have some role place coming over.

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Speaker 4: We do popping on our acting hats very excited. You

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Speaker 4: were captain of the Drama Club, right, yeah, well, I mean.

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Speaker 2: If there was a captain, I would have been the Captain.

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Speaker 2: I bloody loved drama.

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Speaker 4: I actually have the drama Captain badge from when I

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Speaker 4: was in Grade ten. So if you would like me

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Speaker 4: to come and drop that off, I can give it

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Speaker 4: to you.

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Speaker 3: Amazing.

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Speaker 2: I'll make sure it's sterilized that I don't get COVID again.

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Speaker 4: Wow, I am a nice lady.

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Speaker 2: So for anyone who has no idea what we're talking

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Speaker 2: about here, what actually is financial equity and how does

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Speaker 2: it compare to financial equality.

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Speaker 4: Well, I think this is probably a very good place

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Speaker 4: to start because not many people actually know the difference,

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Speaker 4: and they would If you don't know the difference, just

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Speaker 4: assume that you want a quality, right, we all want

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Speaker 4: to be equal. But I would say in a relationship

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Speaker 4: from my perspective, and you need to take this episode

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Speaker 4: with a grain of salt as well. Like before we

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Speaker 4: get into this, George, I'm not saying that this is

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Speaker 4: the way to run your relationship. I'm not saying there

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Speaker 4: is only one way of managing money in a relationship,

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Speaker 4: because there's not. And this is just an interesting take

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Speaker 4: to talk about equity because from my perspective, my partner

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Speaker 4: and I have always operated under the assumption of equity

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Speaker 4: and that's kind of like what we bring to the

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Speaker 4: table as opposed to making sure everything is fifty to

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Speaker 4: fifty split. So equality is actually defined as being the

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Speaker 4: state of being equal, especially in status, rights, an opportunity,

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Speaker 4: and we want that joy. We love that like we

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Speaker 4: love that we want equality when it comes to men

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Speaker 4: and women. I want the same damn opportunities you guys have.

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Speaker 4: I want the same rights, I want the same status.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to miss out on anything. And I

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Speaker 4: think that that's also a very common misconception when it

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Speaker 4: comes to feminism, that feminists want women to be treated

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Speaker 4: better than men, And that's not it. Feminists just want

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Speaker 4: women to have exactly the same status, rights, and opportunities

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Speaker 4: that a man has. Like I want you, as a female,

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Speaker 4: have the same educational opportunities. I want to have the

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Speaker 4: same ability to generate an income. It is why I'm

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Speaker 4: so passionate about the gender pay gap and the wage

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Speaker 4: gap and all of that stuff. But on the other hand,

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Speaker 4: equity is defined as the quality of being fair and impartial.

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Speaker 4: So when it comes to relationships, both of these things

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Speaker 4: kind of come into play, and the question arises of George,

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Speaker 4: if you and I are in a relationship and you

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Speaker 4: earn four hundred one thousand dollars and I earned forty

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Speaker 4: thousand dollars, is it equitable for you and I to

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Speaker 4: pay fifty to fifty ranch Well, I wouldn't have thought so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: No, And that's obviously not the common denominator for a

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Speaker 4: lot of couples, right, Like it's not common for you

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Speaker 4: to meet a couple that one's on four hundred grand

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Speaker 4: and the other is on forty. I mean, it does

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Speaker 4: absolutely happen, but more often that pay discrepancy could be George,

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Speaker 4: you're on seventy five k and my partner's on one fifty.

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Speaker 4: But the difference there is actually quite significant when it

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Speaker 4: comes to you being able to save and invest and

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Speaker 4: afford things you like to do and want to do,

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Speaker 4: especially if you're trying to live a lifestyle that keeps

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Speaker 4: up with the partner who earns one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 4: thousand dollars. So when it comes to finances in a relationship,

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Speaker 4: I often think that equitable finances are preferable over equality,

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Speaker 4: And it doesn't actually impact your ability to be an

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Speaker 4: independent person or you know, having all rights. It's not

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Speaker 4: about that. It's actually about making sure that you have

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Speaker 4: the same opportunities and things in the relationship are absolutely fair.

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Speaker 4: So I guess that is a little bit of a

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Speaker 4: preface because I don't want people to think that this

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Speaker 4: is the only way to do it now, because you

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Speaker 4: might split it differently, Like I know there are people

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Speaker 4: in our community, George where one party doesn't pay rent

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Speaker 4: because they do all the housework, all the cooking, all

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Speaker 4: the everything else and the partner, the other partner, pays rent. Okay,

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Speaker 4: no problem, moh. I know couples that split it straight

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Speaker 4: down the middle and say, you know what, you're fifty

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Speaker 4: percent of rent. I'm fifty percent of rent. We split

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Speaker 4: everything to the scent. That's what works for us. We

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Speaker 4: don't want to change it, no problems. But what we're

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Speaker 4: doing with this episode Georgia is introducing the concept because

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Speaker 4: so many people hadn't heard of it. And I also

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Speaker 4: think it's really important to discuss this because it's often

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Speaker 4: the lower income earner who wants to bring it up

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Speaker 4: in conversation and doesn't feel empowered to do so.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent, And that leads kind of flawlessly to

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Speaker 2: my next question, which is about the question around independence.

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Speaker 2: I guess so a lot of us, as you were

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Speaker 2: saying before, have been brought up to want to be,

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Speaker 2: you know, strong independent women, and this idea for a

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Speaker 2: lot of people. I noticed in our Facebook group they

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Speaker 2: were really worried that it meant that they would be

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Speaker 2: stripped of their independence and that if they're not contributing

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Speaker 2: fifty percent, then you know, they've let themselves down and

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Speaker 2: their partner down.

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Speaker 4: But that is not the case, Absolutely not the case.

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Speaker 4: And I think it's such a common misconception. Do you

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Speaker 4: know what it feels that way? Because if we take

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Speaker 4: a little bit of a step back and let's play

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Speaker 4: pretend for a second, because there's going to be a

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Speaker 4: lot of that in this episode. But George, you and

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Speaker 4: I are housemates. You've got your own life. I've got

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Speaker 4: my own life. We have a very cute apartment. Where

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Speaker 4: do we want to live? We want to live in Fitzroy.

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Speaker 4: That's fancy. Got this apartment in Fitzroy and I pay

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Speaker 4: fifty percent rent, You pay fifty percent rent, and we

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Speaker 4: split bills equally. You're still on your four hundred thousand

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Speaker 4: dollars a year, but I'm on forty thousand dollars a

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Speaker 4: year from my perspective, my financial situation is not your business.

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Speaker 4: It is not my business what you won't because we

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Speaker 4: are not codependent, We are not in a relationship together.

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Speaker 4: Our finances aren't intertwined in a way where my success

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Speaker 4: and you know, my goals and my hopes and dreams

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Speaker 4: for the future tied up in your ability to generate

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Speaker 4: income and vice versa. So we split rent equally because

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Speaker 4: I'm just paying for that room in that house. Because

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Speaker 4: I saw the job at on renters dot com or

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Speaker 4: whatever it is, and I saw two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 4: bucks a week rent and I was like, yeah, no problems.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to sign up to that, because that was

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Speaker 4: the commitment I made to being a housemate. From my perspective,

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Speaker 4: that entire dynamic changes when you get into a relationship

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Speaker 4: and there are a lot more things going on. So

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Speaker 4: being an independent person is making sure we're not being

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Speaker 4: taken advantage of in any situation. It's about making sure

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Speaker 4: that you are advocating for yourself and if somebody in

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Speaker 4: a relationship is earning significantly more and therefore is able

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Speaker 4: to save or invest, when that opportunity is not extended

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Speaker 4: to you, you have to advocate for yourself the other

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Speaker 4: thing to mention, and this is not going to be

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Speaker 4: the same for everyone, because obviously this changes in same

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Speaker 4: sex relationships, but in many heteronormative relationships it's often the

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Speaker 4: male who will be earning more because, as we know

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Speaker 4: Georgia King, the gender pay gap is a very real thing,

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Speaker 4: and we know male dominated industries tend to be remunerated

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Speaker 4: more generously than female dominated industries. So I think it's

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Speaker 4: important to put that on the table that you know,

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Speaker 4: same sex relationships could be even worse off when it

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Speaker 4: comes to stuff like this as well, because you don't

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Speaker 4: know where you stand, or maybe you don't know how

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Speaker 4: to have that conversation, or you're both in female dominated

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Speaker 4: industries and you're not being paid properly to begin with.

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Speaker 4: Don't even start me on that. But when it comes

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Speaker 4: to being an independent person, you don't need to penalize

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Speaker 4: yourself when social structures already do that for us Yank cheers, babes,

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Speaker 4: but you don't need to do it to yourself. And

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Speaker 4: basically what we need to do is reframe our thinking

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Speaker 4: around this and understand that if you're the one who

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Speaker 4: is suggesting to contribute less because you earn less, that

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Speaker 4: does not make you any less independent, and there's no

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Speaker 4: such thing as less valuable work. Full stop, end up story.

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Speaker 4: The podcast can.

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Speaker 2: Probably end there, Yeah, one hundred percent. One of the

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Speaker 2: themes that came up in the responses to your video

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Speaker 2: V was the idea of people saying I worked hard

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Speaker 2: for my money.

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Speaker 4: I study, read, start me or this this episode's going

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Speaker 4: to true me, but carry on, George.

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Speaker 2: So basically they're saying I worked harder, so I deserve more,

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Speaker 2: whereas my partner I didn't go to UNI is working

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Speaker 2: a lower income jobs. So why is that on me

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Speaker 2: to like foot the bill?

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Speaker 4: Basically, one get in the bin with that opinion, because

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Speaker 4: I don't like it. In saying that, I just want

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Speaker 4: to be really clear here that people who earn less

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Speaker 4: don't work less or not as hard as a high

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Speaker 4: income like at the end of the day, Yes, if

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Speaker 4: you are going above and beyond, and there is a

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Speaker 4: different set of rules than what we are assuming when

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Speaker 4: having this conversation, Georgia, and for the purposes of this conversation,

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Speaker 4: we are assuming that two individuals have different incomes but

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Speaker 4: are both working forty hour weeks. Because I had a

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Speaker 4: couple of dms from people who are like, oh, they

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Speaker 4: should this still apply because I earn a lot more

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Speaker 4: than my partner, but I also work my forty hour

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Speaker 4: nine to five Monday to Friday job. But then I

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Speaker 4: also like do extra hours on the weekends and like

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Speaker 4: give up my free time so that I can invest

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Speaker 4: more or save more or I've got these financial goals.

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Speaker 4: Does that mean I should be contributing more? Like, no,

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Speaker 4: every situation is literally different, and if your partner is

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Speaker 4: choosing to not do that, then you don't have to

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Speaker 4: take that part into a consideration. But when it comes

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Speaker 4: to being equitable in a relationship, it's just making sure

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Speaker 4: your partner's okay as well. Just because you did not

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Speaker 4: go to university or you don't have a high flying

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Speaker 4: corporate job that pays an excessive amount of money doesn't

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Speaker 4: mean that you don't work hard. And I find it

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Speaker 4: really I don't know, I'm probably going to get really

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Speaker 4: opinionated on this when that should not be the purpose

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Speaker 4: of this. So I do apologize, but it really frustrates

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Speaker 4: me when people are like, Okay, but I chose to

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Speaker 4: study and my partner didn't. It's like, okay, let's sit

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Speaker 4: down for a hot second. Georgia, where's your privilege? How

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Speaker 4: come you studied? How come your partner didn't. The answer

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Speaker 4: might be your partner just didn't want to, and that's cool.

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Speaker 4: That's conversation that you guys can have. But more often

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Speaker 4: than not, if you see an individual who's had a

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Speaker 4: full tertiary education and has gotten a degree, there is

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Speaker 4: going to be a significant amount of privilege playing to that.

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Speaker 4: Whether that is they worked their asses off during university

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Speaker 4: years so that they could have a full time income,

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Speaker 4: pay rent, you know, pay rent, pay their bills, and

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Speaker 4: go to university, and they've just hustled their butts off.

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Speaker 4: But Georgia, that is a type of privilege, whether you're

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Speaker 4: working hard or not, because that's something that not a

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Speaker 4: lot of people have the ability to do. Or it

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Speaker 4: might be what we see is stereotypical privilege where they

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Speaker 4: went to private school, their parents were really wealthy, and

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Speaker 4: their parents paid for them to have a free ride

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Speaker 4: at university. I totally get that, but that doesn't mean

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Speaker 4: that your partner should be put down because you have

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Speaker 4: a degree and your partner doesn't like I don't know,

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Speaker 4: it just feels a little bit icky to me, And

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Speaker 4: I mean, we've spoken about it on the show before,

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Speaker 4: so privilege and talking about our privilege shouldn't come as

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Speaker 4: a surprise in this conversation. But there's so much more

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Speaker 4: nuance to this conversation than just saying I work harder

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Speaker 4: and that's why I don't think I should have to

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Speaker 4: pay more because I have a degree and my partner

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Speaker 4: didn't bother going to university. Like that, to me is

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Speaker 4: real ikey in saying that. As Jazgrechi pointed out on

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Speaker 4: a Friday Show recently, if your partner has chosen a

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Speaker 4: life where work is not a priority, and you absolutely have, example,

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Speaker 4: they only want to work part time so that they

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Speaker 4: have more leisure time, so on and so forth, Or

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Speaker 4: if they blow all their money on the weekends, or

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Speaker 4: if they like going out partying and you want to

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Speaker 4: save and they just don't have the same priorities as you,

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Speaker 4: then it shouldn't be expected that you pick up the

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Speaker 4: slack to fund their lifestyle choices. Like that is not

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Speaker 4: what we are saying here. So if you want to

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Speaker 4: and it works for your relationship, then by all means,

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Speaker 4: go for it, but please make sure the other person

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Speaker 4: isn't taking you for a bit of a ride. If

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Speaker 4: you're going to choose this, because I think that one

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Speaker 4: of the really overwhelming comments was like, oh, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to pay more because then the other person is

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Speaker 4: going to take advantage of that not have to work

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Speaker 4: as hard because they know that I'll always pay more.

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Speaker 4: This is an ongoing conversation, definitely, Sometimes one person earns more,

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Speaker 4: sometimes the other person earns lass. Like George, this isn't

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Speaker 4: a set and forget conversational system. This is a I

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Speaker 4: want our relation to be equitable. Let's always make sure

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Speaker 4: that's a priority in this relationship conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I want to move now via to talk

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Speaker 2: talking about domestic labor and traditional household norms and how

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Speaker 2: they play into all of this. So, for example, we

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Speaker 2: say you have kids and you're out of the workforce,

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Speaker 2: but you carry the weight of the domestic load. How

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Speaker 2: do we value a contribution that's harder to measure? Can

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Speaker 2: we absolutely ditch the notion that a contribution is financial?

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Speaker 2: Can we put that in the bin. That's why we

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Speaker 2: talk about equity. I didn't say financial equity, did I?

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Speaker 2: I said equity in a relationship. What you bring to

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Speaker 2: the table has a lot of value. And you know

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Speaker 2: what domestic work if we added it up really expensive.

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Speaker 2: There was a research paper done. I can't remember what

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Speaker 2: it was.

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Speaker 4: It would have been five or six years ago because

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Speaker 4: I've been ranting about it for that long where if

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Speaker 4: you took a stay at home mum out of quote

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Speaker 4: the workforce so said sorry, stay at home mum, you

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Speaker 4: can't do this anymore. What that would have been worth

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Speaker 4: to the family. It's about one hundred and sixty thousand

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Speaker 4: dollars a year.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 4: So if we really want to put finances to it,

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Speaker 4: stay at home mums, they're worth a lot. So sorry, V.

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Speaker 2: Does that mean if you took the mother out of

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Speaker 2: the primary care and replace them with like a nanny

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Speaker 2: or put them into childcare?

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Speaker 3: Like, what is that value that you're talking about?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so that would be the replacement. I actually talk

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Speaker 4: about this a lot with clients when I'm talking about insurance,

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Speaker 4: because as a stay at home mum, you can't actually

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Speaker 4: get income protection. And as you guys know, income protection

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Speaker 4: is my favorite insurance personally, and it's the one thing

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Speaker 4: that I wouldn't want to get rid of. But it's

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Speaker 4: so interesting when you have you know, couples come in

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Speaker 4: and say, hey, thee like, want to set up my insurances.

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Speaker 4: My partner here and so much money, don't worry about me.

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Speaker 4: I hold up, Hold up there, George King, You're worth

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Speaker 4: actually a lot, because what would your partner do if

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Speaker 4: you know, sadly you passed away yesterday? How were you

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Speaker 4: going to look after your family? Because is your partner

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Speaker 4: going to pick up that slack? And you're right, you

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Speaker 4: could look at having a nanny, but it's all of

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Speaker 4: the other domestic lab and I guess traditional household norms

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Speaker 4: that come into this. It's not the forty hours a

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Speaker 4: week you might have a nanny salaried. It's the tidying

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Speaker 4: up the house. It's the cooking, it's the being the taxi.

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Speaker 4: It's the management of calendars. It's going to and from

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Speaker 4: sporting events. It's everything that a mum does that they

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Speaker 4: don't see value in themselves, because I think that parents

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Speaker 4: in general, especially female parents, are very quick to go, oh,

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Speaker 4: but I don't earn money, so I'm not contributing. And

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Speaker 4: that's where as I said before, I really want to

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Speaker 4: break down this notion that equity in a relationship has

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Speaker 4: to be financial, because, as we already know Georgia women

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Speaker 4: on average, do five hours more domestic labor than men

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Speaker 4: each and every single week, not surprising. Nobody's shocked and

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Speaker 4: the crowd full silent. Yeah, it's one of those things

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Speaker 4: where I think that we need to stop trying to measure, like,

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Speaker 4: stop telling me what's it worth? What's it worth? Sit

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Speaker 4: down with your partner, renegotiate it. Hell, you could renegotiate

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Speaker 4: it even if you're on the same incum I might go, George,

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Speaker 4: we both earned fifty grand a year. You hate cooking.

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Speaker 4: How about we renegotiate you pay more rent? Oh, you

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Speaker 4: all the cooking? You go, deal of the century. Yes, please,

400
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Speaker 4: I'll pay seventy percent rent. You pay thirty Because you're

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Speaker 4: picking up some of this equity in this relationship. That's

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Speaker 4: now your responsibility, and I'm very happy to pay more

403
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Speaker 4: than you to get that benefit in this relationship. Like

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Speaker 4: we're not saying that you actually even have to have

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Speaker 4: a different type of salary than your partner to have

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Speaker 4: this negotiation about equity in a relationship. Because equity, I

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Speaker 4: think needs to be spoken about more. And I don't

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Speaker 4: know what Steve's mum did to him as a child, Georgia,

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Speaker 4: but he is one of the most respectful people you

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Speaker 4: will ever meet. Like, you know, Steve Blat shock everybody.

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Speaker 4: Like when you used to come over, you'd be like,

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Speaker 4: is he vacuuming? Is he clean? He's very in a house. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: Like he is an absolute legend because he was brought

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Speaker 4: up Like it's our house, we share chores, Like it's

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Speaker 4: not a Victoria job or a Steve job. If there

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Speaker 4: is a job around our house that just needs doing,

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Speaker 4: he just does it, which still shocks me literally years

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Speaker 4: later that if I put on a load of washing

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Speaker 4: and he hears it beep, he'll go and get it

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Speaker 4: out and hang it up because it was just a

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Speaker 4: job that needed doing. What a dull But that blows

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Speaker 4: so many people's minds, and to me, it still blows

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Speaker 4: my mind because that's not how I saw equity in

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Speaker 4: a relationship. I don't think there has to be certain

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Speaker 4: roles when it comes to this, but equity in a

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Speaker 4: relationship we need to talk about it. But let's make

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Speaker 4: sure that you realize it doesn't have to be just financial.

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Speaker 3: One hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: How do we achieve equity when it comes to super

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Speaker 2: v Because as we've spoken about on the pod before,

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Speaker 2: there is that enormous gap between the super the stay

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Speaker 2: at home parent and the person who gets to push

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Speaker 2: through and continue to work, which can be massively detrimental

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Speaker 2: down the line, especially if they split and you can't

435
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 2: access their super And we do know one in two

436
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: marriages ends in divorce. Is that the stat something.

437
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 4: I really needed to know that planning my wedding. Thank

438
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 4: you you will go well, thank you? Thank you? Have

439
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 4: you thought super? That's my question. This is such a

440
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 4: controversial conversation, but I do believe that if you are

441
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 4: going to talk about superannuation as a couple, we need

442
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 4: to talk about what happens if one party of that

443
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,239
Speaker 4: relationship is going to take some serious time off, Like

444
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,719
Speaker 4: it doesn't necessarily have to be a parent, Like you

445
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 4: could be taking a whole heap of time off to

446
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 4: you know, support your partner who is you know, being

447
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 4: a doctor. So we've got a She's on the Money

448
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 4: community member. She is an absolute delight. She's been on

449
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 4: the pod before. She's actually just moved to America because

450
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 4: her partner is becoming a resident, which is like a

451
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 4: fancy doc during the US, and has to do a

452
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 4: lot of work because she's registered here to work in Australia.

453
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 4: She actually can't do her work internationally, so she's taking

454
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 4: some serious time off to support her partner's venture, which

455
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 4: I admire. I honestly think it's really important. But she

456
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 4: approached me before she left and said, how do I

457
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 4: talk to my partner about my super because I don't

458
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 4: want to fall behind? And that is such an important conversation.

459
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 4: And this conversation actually stretches into the stay at home

460
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 4: parent conversation. Yeah, because as we said before, equity in

461
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 4: relationships is not always financial, but there's always a financial impact.

462
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,359
Speaker 4: So we need to talk about what is going to

463
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 4: happen to your super George when you take time off

464
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 4: because you and I have just had a baby. Are

465
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 4: you just going to take the hit and hope that

466
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 4: we don't get a divorce down the track and you know,

467
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 4: just be behind in general, because don't worry when we

468
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 4: retire it all be pulled together anyway. Because if that's

469
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 4: the case, why do men have such an issue putting

470
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 4: extra contributions into their partners supranuation. So we absolutely should

471
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 4: be making the time to have the conversation. If you're

472
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 4: going to take time off to contribute equity to a

473
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 4: relationship in a way that is not financial. To make

474
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,880
Speaker 4: sure that you're not financially disadvantaged for that contribution, because

475
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 4: it doesn't mean you're not contributing to the relationship. It

476
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 4: just means that that contribution at that point in time

477
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 4: is not necessarily financial. And that's okay. But I also

478
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 4: have a few stats do Kingty of our friends thank

479
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: you at the Australian Human Rights Commission and stat one,

480
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 4: women have significantly less money saved for retirement. Half of

481
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 4: all women aged forty five to fifty nine have eight

482
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 4: thousand dollars or less in their supranuation funds compared to

483
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 4: thirty one thousand dollars for men. That's shockingly low. That's

484
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 4: gross questionenders, isn't it. It's yes, But it's also really

485
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,400
Speaker 4: important for you to remember that superanuation was only mandated

486
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 4: in nineteen ninety two, meaning if you worked before then,

487
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 4: your employer did not have to pay you superannuation. As

488
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 4: a millennial, we are very lucky in that every job

489
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 4: we have had as millennials has meant that superannuation was mandatory.

490
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 4: Like employeers, it's not a choice, whereas pre nineteen ninety

491
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 4: two it was a thing that some companies did and

492
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 4: some didn't. So it's really important to understand that because

493
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 4: when we look at stats like this, yes, women are

494
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 4: worse off, Yes, like thirty one thousand dollars at that age,

495
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 4: you would go wow, like that's not enough. But there's

496
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,479
Speaker 4: good reason for that, and it's all about it not

497
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 4: being mandated. When they started gotcha professionally in saying that

498
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 4: that's like a third like women. Literally, I just yeah, like,

499
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 4: oh thanks, sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah, I'm a financial advisor.

500
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 4: But you can see that that discrepancy runs deep, and

501
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 4: it still runs deep today, regardless of whether it was

502
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 4: mandated or not. Women tend to have fun less super

503
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 4: than men. Second stat I want to share with you, George,

504
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 4: is currently the average superannuation payout for women is a

505
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 4: third of the payout for men, which is thirty seven

506
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 4: thousand dollars compared to one hundred and ten thousand dollars

507
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 4: for men. So I'm still not happy with that. That's

508
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 4: why I started cheese on the money. George, Yeah, exactly.

509
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,199
Speaker 4: You wait, when I'm retiring, I'm gonna be like it

510
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,719
Speaker 4: was one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for women and

511
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 4: four dollars for men. No, No, that is in direct

512
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 4: conflict to me wanting a quality. And then Georgia, we

513
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 4: have stat three in Australia, women working full time today

514
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 4: earn sixteen percent less than men. Jeez, Louise Mood. We

515
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 4: don't like that. Those stats don't cater to us being

516
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:53,679
Speaker 4: able to financially contribute nearly as much equity as a

517
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 4: man can. Also, the interesting thing about statistics in these

518
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 4: human rights commissions, as much as I love sharing statistics,

519
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 4: we don't have a lot of statistics on our LGBTQIA

520
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 4: plus communities. We don't have those same statistics for our

521
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 4: community who is experiencing disability or any kind of disadvantage.

522
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 4: It doesn't take those things into consideration. And I can

523
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 4: bet my bottom dollar that the discrepancy between women and

524
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 4: those communities is really big, and the discrepancy between those

525
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 4: communities and men is even bigger. So don't come at

526
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 4: me because I don't have the stats, because if I

527
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 4: had the stats, I'd be throwing them at you.

528
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, the stats don't exist yet. That, yeah, I'm

529
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 2: proaching that is changing surely, if.

530
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 4: It's changing slowly, we're starting to see it. But it's

531
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 4: very hard to collect I guess such significant amounts of

532
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 4: data on these communities because often they don't want to

533
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 4: contribute either. I mean that's not to say that there

534
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 4: aren't communities that like advocate for us, we want to

535
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 4: share our data, we want to be heard. Those do exist.

536
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 4: But as you can imagine, Georgia, if you're disabled and

537
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 4: need to fill in a survey, but you can't read

538
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 4: the survey or jump on a computer or have the

539
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 4: ability to do that, like, you're probably just going to

540
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 4: opt out because it's too hard. So anyway, moving.

541
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 2: On, So in terms of what we can actually be doing,

542
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: then V can't you contribute to your partner's account or

543
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 2: something that's solution?

544
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 4: Maybe yeah, you can salary sacrifice into someone else's superannuation,

545
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 4: which I think is a really great option, especially if

546
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,159
Speaker 4: you're worried about, you know, being left behind when it

547
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 4: comes to superanuation and retirement. And I think that how

548
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 4: do you say this without being rude, George, I think

549
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 4: that any partner would welcome that conversation because why wouldn't

550
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 4: you want your wife or your partner or your spouse

551
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 4: to be in a good financial situation that is equal

552
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 4: to yours? Why would you want anything less than equality

553
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 4: in a relationship. But the first thing here is to

554
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 4: really chat to your partner about contributions. I would be

555
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 4: trying to do that really early on in the relationship

556
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 4: as well. It can be a hard conversation because so

557
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 4: many families have to budget to have kids, right, Like,

558
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 4: kids are expensive. But let's make sure those super contributions

559
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 4: are a part of the conversation before you become pregnant,

560
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 4: because it's hard to bring it up after if you're

561
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 4: on a strict budget and then you're like, well, I

562
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 4: want super contributions to your partner's like, oh my god,

563
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 4: Like that's so much money in addition to the already

564
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 4: expensive lifestyle that we're about to live where you're not

565
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 4: financially contributing for twelve months, and then I'm under more pressure,

566
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 4: like let's make sure this isn't a surprise and makes

567
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 4: your spouse or partner feel more pressure more that this

568
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 4: is just what it is. But your partner can actually

569
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 4: contribute up to eighty five percent of their superannuation contributions,

570
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 4: and they can do it just after the end of

571
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 4: the financial year in a lump sum as well, so

572
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 4: you don't even need to set up something. You could

573
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 4: dump some cash in there once you realize how much

574
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 4: extra cash you've got left over us to having the

575
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 4: baby as well, So don't feel like it has to

576
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,239
Speaker 4: absolutely happen in the moment and be replaced when your

577
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: normal super contributions happen. You can do it later, but

578
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 4: let's make sure it doesn't fall off the bandwagon when

579
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 4: it comes to the conversation around baby making and gee.

580
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 4: The added benefit of doing this is that the person

581
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 4: making the contributions can actually claim an eighteen percent tax

582
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 4: offset up to three grand. But there's obviously certain eligibility

583
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 4: criteria involved in that too, we'll have to check it,

584
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 4: but that's more than the standard fifteen percent, so there's

585
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 4: a little bit of an incentive there to get that done.

586
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: Interesting, I imagine as well, be it would be a

587
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 2: tricky thing to bring up with your partner because obviously,

588
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 2: if you're starting a family together, you would have the

589
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 2: intentions of staying together forever. So I can imagine partners

590
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 2: might say, well, why would I contribute to your super?

591
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: Your super is my super. We're going to retire together anyway.

592
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 2: But as I said before, like the stats show that

593
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: a lot of us don't end up together, which means

594
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: that usually the woman is significantly disadvantaged at retirement because

595
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: they don't have that super yea, So how do you

596
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,719
Speaker 2: kind of navigate that conversation.

597
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 4: I think that conversation is exactly how you have it.

598
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 4: You kind of go okay, like totally get that that's

599
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 4: the plan. Yeah, but you know, stats tell us that

600
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,719
Speaker 4: you know, some marriages break up. Honey, I love you dearly,

601
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 4: but I also want to feel like I'm not losing

602
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 4: my independence by making a decision to contribute a different

603
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 4: type of equity to this relationship. So unless you want

604
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 4: to renegotiate maybe the parenting on this, maybe you work

605
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 4: part time and I work part time, so most of

606
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 4: your branuation is not taking a hit. And they might

607
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 4: go no, and then you can go, okay, no problems,

608
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 4: but like that's how we're going to split it, because

609
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 4: I do want this relationship to be equitable, and I'm

610
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 4: just trying to find a solution so that I don't

611
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 4: end up being financially hit and behind because I really

612
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 4: do value my independence and I think that any reasonable

613
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 4: person would go, oh, actually that's a good point. That's

614
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 4: a really good point, because now let's be a little

615
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 4: bit stereotypical here. And I'm not being stereotypical because I'm like,

616
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, this is the way it should be.

617
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 4: But like I am thirty, which is now kind of

618
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 4: terrifying because Yo, to all my friends, they're falling pregnant

619
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 4: on purpose, Like that said, I know, fact they're doing

620
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,959
Speaker 4: it on purpose, Like that wasn't an accident. Oh okay,

621
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 4: Like it still shocks me. I'm like, oh my god,

622
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 4: she was married for two years and then she got pregnant.

623
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 4: Do you reckon? She meant that, Steve. But from my

624
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 4: experience understanding my friend's mindsets, a lot of them are like, no,

625
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 4: I really want to be the stay at home parent,

626
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 4: and I really want to do that, Like I've looked

627
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 4: forward to it my entire life, and I totally get that.

628
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 4: It's not saying that the partner should, you know, take

629
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 4: that away from you if that's what you want to do.

630
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 4: But we really have to make sure that our partners

631
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 4: do know that that's a type of equity that you're

632
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 4: contributing to this relationship, because I don't know, they need

633
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 4: to see your value too.

634
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 2: Jki Oh Hondy p Also like you could encourage them

635
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: to listen to this episode as well.

636
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 4: If you just they won't like me. They won't like me.

637
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 4: But that's okay. I mean, this is probably not the

638
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 4: episode that I would have picked as an introduction to

639
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 4: She's on the Money and Georgia King and what Victorian

640
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 4: divines like because I'm pretty fired up, I'm pretty annoyed.

641
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 4: But maybe we should take a little breather. Georgia, absolutely,

642
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 4: let's head to a break.

643
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,239
Speaker 2: But on the other side, we will be discussing if

644
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 2: this rule of equity still applies when we're saving for

645
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 2: a home deposit. As teased earlier in the show, We're

646
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 2: going to be doing our little role play.

647
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 4: Oh if you are so lucky.

648
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's stick around for that no costume, so

649
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 2: no costumes. Straight back into it V, let's talk about property.

650
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on saving for a house deposit

651
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 2: and then potentially paying off the mortgage if you do

652
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: both earn different amounts, orf Jeogiah King.

653
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 4: I love this question because there are so many moving

654
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 4: parts to this conversation. A lot of young couples nowadays

655
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 4: have their number one goal as buying house, and then

656
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 4: you might sit them down and go all right, Ve,

657
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 4: you want to buy a house with George? I go, yep,

658
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 4: are you going to be together forever? You might go,

659
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I know I really want to

660
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 4: own a house, and it's a really good investment and

661
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 4: I don't think i'll regret that investment. We're going to

662
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 4: make sure we have a really good, binding financial agreement

663
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 4: and like we're on the same page that if we

664
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 4: do break up, like we'll sell or we'll do this,

665
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 4: because I think that in you know, it's twenty twenty

666
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 4: two now, and the housing market is arguably incredibly hard

667
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 4: to get into. So often a way to get into

668
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 4: the market that is a little bit less arduous, a

669
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 4: little bit easier, is to have somebody else to do

670
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 4: that with. So I feel like I'm seeing a lot

671
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 4: of couple's purchase properties when they aren't entirely sure what

672
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 4: their future holds. I wouldn't recommend that, but I think

673
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 4: it is a really good conversation to have, because if

674
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 4: we're talking about equity in a relationship and you're like, well,

675
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 4: I want to own fifty percent of this property, then

676
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 4: that's going to change the way this conversation happens. Whereas

677
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 4: George We'll go back to the example that I was

678
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 4: making before, where you're earning four hundred thousand dollars and

679
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 4: I'm earning forty thousand dollars, and you and I sit

680
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 4: down and we go, George, what do we want for

681
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 4: our lives? And you go, oh, I love to have

682
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 4: a couple of kids, love to get married. But before

683
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 4: I do all that, we'd love to own a property.

684
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 4: And I goal real hard because I'm like, I own

685
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 4: forty grand Like saving for a property that George wants

686
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 4: is going to take me forever, and then I'm not

687
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 4: going to feel like I'm contributing. I like, we need

688
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 4: to have this conversation. So Gee, I don't think it's

689
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 4: a conversation where we both definitely have to contribute fifty percent,

690
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 4: because you might go, oh, but Ve, I'm going to

691
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 4: marry you and we're going to be together forever, so

692
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 4: I don't particularly care who does it. You save what

693
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 4: you can, I'll save what I can. We'll scrape together

694
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 4: a deposit, and then you know, in our binding financial agreement,

695
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 4: shit hits the van, I'll own seventy percent of it

696
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 4: and you just own thirty percent, and we'll call it

697
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 4: a day. That way, and I go, okay, no problems.

698
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 4: That seems fair and equitable. Another outcome of that situation

699
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 4: might they all right, well, feel like you're going to

700
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 4: get half of my stuff anyway, so it doesn't matter

701
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 4: hin or there. Because that's how the legal system is

702
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 4: actually going to start that conversation. If you are going

703
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 4: through you know, separation or divorce proceedings, They're going to

704
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 4: start at an equal fifty percent and then work it

705
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 4: out from there. You might end up with more or

706
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,760
Speaker 4: I might end up with more, but it's very different.

707
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 4: But I think that the conversation about equity when it

708
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 4: comes to saving for a house deposit is exactly the

709
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 4: same as when I'm talking about rent and when I'm

710
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 4: talking about splitting bills. You need to have this conversation.

711
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 4: It is a very personal conversation. You might, George, agree

712
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 4: to be contributing more. Is there anybody else's business? No?

713
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 4: Absolutely not. But you and I might go, all right, well, George,

714
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 4: you've got so much more money than me. I think

715
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 4: that we should have a binding financial agreement so that

716
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 4: when we do buy this house. Shit hits a fan,

717
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 4: I'm just going to be able to take my initial

718
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 4: amount for the deposit back out. But then when it

719
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 4: comes to mortgage repayments, we're not going to talk about

720
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 4: this seventy thirty you own, I own mortgage repayments because

721
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 4: I'm contributing equity in a different way to this relationship.

722
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 4: Any mortgage repayments will be seen as fifty to fifty

723
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 4: because that's how it's going to work. But if you

724
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,839
Speaker 4: really want to protect that deposit, I totally get that,

725
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 4: because that is a large lump sum of money. But

726
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, you should be contributing

727
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,760
Speaker 4: fifty to fifty to a relationship anyway, right, Like George,

728
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 4: I shouldn't be doing all the housework unless there's been

729
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: a conversation about that where I do more than you

730
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,800
Speaker 4: because you do something else, or I hate unloading the dishwasher,

731
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 4: so I clean the bathrooms and you do the dishwasher.

732
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 4: Always like I feel like this is such a personal conversation.

733
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 4: But I have had friends in that situation, and the

734
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 4: outcome that they come to is making sure you have

735
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 4: a binding financial agreement for the deposit if that ever

736
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 4: gets split, and any mortgage repayments after that are seen

737
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 4: as fifty to fifty. Even if you're paying seventy and

738
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 4: I'm paying thirty because I don't want my means to

739
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 4: absolutely be blown out to achieve a financial goal that

740
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 4: might have not been mine in the first place.

741
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: Right, And if you didn't have a binding financial agreement

742
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 2: and you did break up down the line and.

743
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 4: Things got messy, would they just split.

744
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 2: It in half regardless of who contributed more? Or does

745
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 2: it just depend.

746
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 4: It's such a spicy area because it depends who your

747
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 4: lawyer is, it depends what proof you have. But I

748
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 4: would be getting in writing making sure even if that's

749
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 4: just an email, Hey George, I'm paying thirty percent, You're

750
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 4: paying seventy percent. Love you get it in writing. Love

751
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 4: you have a good day, honeyby. But even if you

752
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 4: don't want to have a binding financial agreement, I just

753
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 4: I'm such a strong believer of creating a paper trail,

754
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 4: create the proof that you might need in the future

755
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 4: for both of your sakes. Because I've said this before,

756
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 4: binding financial agreement should be a waste of money, Like

757
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 4: we should spend this money on this agreement and never

758
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 4: have to rely on it, and you can pay for that.

759
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 4: Or if you're like the we just are so strapped

760
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 4: for cash sit down together, talk about it. Make your

761
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 4: own little agreement, because that's better than nothing. Like I'd

762
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 4: prefer you to have something rather than nothing, where it

763
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,959
Speaker 4: might be a piece of paper where you both sat

764
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 4: down and you both signed it, and you're right, it's

765
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 4: not a legally enforceable document. But when you come to

766
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,360
Speaker 4: a breakup, I might be like, yeah, George, I know

767
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 4: you cheated on me, but we did agree that this

768
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 4: was going to be the outcome and we were both

769
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 4: happy with it, so let's do that. Also, don't cheat

770
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 4: on me, George, Yeah.

771
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 3: I promise.

772
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 4: So.

773
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 2: Kind of still on that property line of thinking, then

774
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: if say Harper and I, for example, if I just

775
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 2: wanted to buy the house because I was in the

776
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 2: financial position to do so and it had nothing to

777
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 2: do with him, do you think it's too naughty to

778
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 2: maybe request that he paid rent. Absolutely not, because this

779
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 2: was controversial in the Facebook group people.

780
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,919
Speaker 4: Absolutely not. And we know that Jess is just about this, like, yes,

781
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 4: she's spoken about this on an episode before. She's going

782
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 4: through the pre approval process, and she's buying the house

783
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 4: on her own despite being madly in love with James.

784
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 4: They're just not at the same stages in life, like

785
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 4: they've spoken about it historically, like James is still studying

786
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 4: and just is so supportive of that, And I think

787
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 4: that that's a really beautiful situation to be in. But again,

788
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 4: it's a super personal decision, and lots of people have

789
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 4: lots of mixed feelings about this. Some people think that

790
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 4: if their partner has a house, that their partner doesn't

791
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 4: have to be contributing to the mortgage because it's their

792
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 4: partner's mortgage and it's their wealth, and you shouldn't have

793
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 4: to contribute to that because you should be contributing to

794
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 4: your own wealth. And I think it's perfectly acceptable for

795
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 4: you to be asking them for rent money, like if

796
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 4: that is the roof that is going over their heads,

797
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 4: I think that they should be paying rent. But I

798
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 4: do think that there should be a clear delineation between

799
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 4: them paying rent not them paying your mortgage, because yes,

800
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 4: it's kind of here or there in a way, Like George,

801
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 4: if you give me two hundred bucks this week for rent,

802
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 4: of course I'm going to put it against my mortgage,

803
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 4: but that is not what it is intended for. Like

804
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 4: you're paying rent and that.

805
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: Rent to be clear, Yeah, if you were living somewhere else.

806
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 4: But people were pretty.

807
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 2: Salty about the idea that you paying rent for your

808
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: partner's property is contributing to something that you have no

809
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 2: ownership over. Yeah, contributing to your own wealth. You're contributing

810
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 2: to theirs. People like that's dodgy.

811
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 4: But I don't think that's dodgy in any way, shape

812
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 4: or form. I think you really need to have a

813
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,240
Speaker 4: think about why you feel that way. Is it because

814
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,760
Speaker 4: you want to buy your own house? Is it because

815
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 4: they had a pre existing asset? Like, at the end

816
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 4: of the day, as you said before, George, you're going

817
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 4: to have to put a roof over your head. So

818
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 4: if you don't want to live at your partners because

819
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 4: you don't want to make them wealthy because you're paying

820
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 4: them rent, move out. Honestly, I'm a pretty black and

821
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 4: white person. I would feel that paying rent to my

822
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 4: partner is very fair. In saying that, I think that

823
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 4: the rent should be absolutely fair for the location as well.

824
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 4: So I don't think it would be fair for you

825
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 4: to move into my place, George as my partner. And

826
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 4: then I say, well, half the mortgage is four hundred

827
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 4: dollars a week and you have to pay that as

828
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 4: rent and you go, but the average rent around his

829
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 4: two hundred bucks a week, Like that seems a bit steep. Yeah,

830
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 4: Like I think if they've taken on an asset and

831
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 4: they have gotten a mortgage, your rent should be equal

832
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 4: to what rent is in that location to keep things fair.

833
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 4: Not necessarily oh well, half the mortgage is this, and

834
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 4: then you feel like you're creating their wealth. Like that's

835
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 4: not fair.

836
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 2: I feel like we'ren't really talking about relationships with the

837
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: other person's real asshole I know.

838
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 4: Best for us. I was talking to Steve about this

839
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 4: and this is showing my privilege, Like he was like,

840
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 4: why do you have to do that episode? And I

841
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 4: was like, because because I do, honey, yeah, and he

842
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 4: was yeah. He was just shocked that this was something

843
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 4: that really needed to be spelled out. And I just, honestly,

844
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,399
Speaker 4: I've been in other relationships. Please don't get me wrong.

845
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 4: I have kissed toads, like yeah, look, we all have.

846
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 4: I've just lucked out with Steve and that's why I'm

847
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 4: trying to lock him down. Guys like, so far, so good.

848
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 4: We just need to make it to November for the

849
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 4: wedding because that's all booked and ready. But I feel

850
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 4: very lucky that that is the I guess outlook that

851
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 4: my partner has. I do know that that's not the

852
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 4: outlook that a lot of people have, though.

853
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, And that's why it is so important that

854
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 2: we are talking about this today in terms of the

855
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 2: nuts and bolts of it V, in terms of figuring

856
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,879
Speaker 2: out who should contribute what, how do you actually do

857
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 2: that because it sounds like a mathematical nightmare. You and

858
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 2: I are both not great at maths, so it's my

859
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 2: ex excuse me, seek.

860
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 4: Start starts goed wrong before. Look, I'm just not very

861
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 4: smart when I'm trying to sound smart, you know. But

862
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 4: in terms of figuring out what you could or would

863
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 4: be doing, it's totally up to you. And it's such

864
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 4: a moving conversation. It might be set and forget and

865
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,720
Speaker 4: then new finish UNI and you need to renegotiate those terms.

866
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 4: Or you know, your partner might get a massive pay

867
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 4: rise and then you need to renegotiate it. Or you

868
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 4: might take a different job and a step back in

869
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 4: career so that you know, in a couple of years

870
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 4: you can sling shot forward Like there are lots of

871
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,800
Speaker 4: moving parts and as we said it's not set and forget,

872
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 4: but you and your partner might agree that contributing forty

873
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 4: percent of your incomes to a shared expenses account is

874
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 4: a good way of managing it. You may go more,

875
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 4: you may go less. It's honestly completely up to you

876
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 4: and what works for the expenses that you guys have.

877
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,839
Speaker 4: But choosing a percent that both of you contribute does

878
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 4: work for a lot of couples. That doesn't mean that

879
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 4: you should have to have joint accounts. You could just

880
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 4: pay a different percent of rent. I know that when

881
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 4: it comes to rental agreements nowadays you can actually change

882
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 4: the percentage on the actual agreement, so you don't have

883
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 4: to have any kind of shared finances. However, Gee, what

884
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,280
Speaker 4: is really important to remember, and what I saw people

885
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 4: talking about on the thread that you posted recently on

886
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 4: this topic in our Facebook group, was that financial contribution

887
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,399
Speaker 4: isn't the only type of contribution. And I can't say

888
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 4: that loud enough. I can't say that enough times on

889
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 4: this episode. But if you have greater responsibilities in the household,

890
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 4: or you're looking after the kids a few days a week,

891
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 4: well your partner is working full time, we really need

892
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 4: to establish what that non financial but extremely important contribution

893
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 4: is worth to your relationship. And all I can tell

894
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 4: you is it is worth a lot, I promise you.

895
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 4: But it's not something that you know should be swept

896
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:35,280
Speaker 4: to the side. And we only talk about finances GM.

897
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 2: So you said forty percent there in your experience, is

898
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 2: that kind of the standard?

899
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 4: Look, it seems to be the standard. It is definitely not,

900
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 4: you know, the goal. As you know, G. I don't

901
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 4: believe in percentage based budgets because I think that they're

902
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 4: unrealistic for different types of financial circumstances. But I think

903
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 4: sitting down and going, well, what are our expenses and

904
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 4: rent might be, you know, twelve hundred bucks each month,

905
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 4: so work that out. Then you work out what bills are,

906
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 4: and then work out what everything else is and work

907
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 4: out what that means. Like if you're living in a

908
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,479
Speaker 4: capital city, G might be like sixty or seventy percent

909
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 4: of your income because you live in a really expensive

910
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 4: part of town and you're both unied students, so you

911
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 4: don't actually have that much income coming in in comparison

912
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:21,240
Speaker 4: to your expenses, or mybe twenty percent, Like who knows

913
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 4: it changes and what I don't want you guys to

914
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,839
Speaker 4: get from this is a Victoria said forty percent, Like

915
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 4: that's on average what I see people doing. But when

916
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 4: it comes to working out the math, as we talked

917
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 4: about it before, like there could be a standard conversation, right,

918
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 4: So if you both work out what your annual salaries

919
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 4: are after tax, take that amount, divide it by twelve

920
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 4: to get to a monthly figure each. Then next add

921
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 4: your income after tax, net your income, so what is

922
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 4: coming into your bank account together to calculate a joint income.

923
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 4: So your monthly amount plus my monthly amount. Then divide

924
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 4: each individual's income by this joint income figure and then

925
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 4: times it on your phone by one hundred, and that

926
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 4: will give you a percentage amount. And that's where the

927
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 4: conversation can start. That's not necessarily saying that, oh my gosh,

928
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 4: like that's the b all end all Like that might

929
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 4: come out as G, you're sixty, I'm forty, and then

930
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 4: we might go off, E, you're forty. But also G

931
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 4: does so much more of the housework. You do next

932
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 4: to nothing here here and here, Victoria, you don't do

933
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 4: all these things. Let's sett al on forty five to

934
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 4: fifty five, or you might go, hey, g it's come

935
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 4: out as twenty five seventy five. Let's renegotiate this because

936
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 4: it just doesn't feel right for our personal situations. But

937
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 4: it's a really good conversation starter to go. This is

938
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,879
Speaker 4: what that split looks like because of how much more

939
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:47,439
Speaker 4: one person earns than the other.

940
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, amazing, Okay, that's cool. I had a couple more questions.

941
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 2: This is just such a big topic. I feel like

942
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: we could talk all day.

943
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 4: We literally could. I could jump up and down for

944
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 4: a very long time about that top exactly.

945
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 2: So I don't know, maybe we should do a follow

946
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 2: up episode, but I feel like maybe it's time that

947
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 2: we are donned the drama caps and got into character.

948
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,919
Speaker 4: And I'll get my drama badge out and I will

949
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 4: put it on, and then you get your drama hat

950
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 4: and we're ready. Gee, what are we doing? Okay, So

951
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 4: give us a situation.

952
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 2: So the way this is going to play out is

953
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to be the partner who is perhaps responding

954
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 2: negatively to the conversation that you're having. So you're bringing

955
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 2: up with me the proposition of financial equity within the relationship,

956
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 2: and I am responding as Okay, I like undesirable partner.

957
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 3: I guess, so.

958
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 4: You're my undesirable partner, George. Yes, okay, okay. I like

959
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 4: this so fast, so good, so good. Do you feel

960
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 4: like you're in character?

961
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 3: I do? Actually?

962
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 4: Okay, cool, me too.

963
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 2: The hangover helps, I think, yeah, okay, okay, So let's

964
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 2: start out V. I think with you broaching the conversation

965
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 2: with me. If that's okay, I'm really director's hat now

966
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 2: a good direction, So go ahead, welcome back to my house.

967
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,439
Speaker 4: All right, thank you for letting me in your house

968
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 4: to have this conversation. But I think before we actually

969
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 4: have this conversation, Gee, side step, it's really important to

970
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 4: acknowledge that this person might not be ready for this conversation,

971
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:31,240
Speaker 4: Like you have had the time and the reflection space

972
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 4: to go or I need to talk to G about this.

973
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 4: What am I going to do? Maybe you've googled some things,

974
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:38,399
Speaker 4: Maybe you've done some you know, notes on the back

975
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 4: of an envelope. Maybe you've had the time and you've

976
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 4: had the grace to sit down and go all right,

977
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 4: this afternoon, when G gets back from work, I'm going

978
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 4: to talk to her. So you need to be aware

979
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 4: that this person might not be ready for this conversation,

980
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 4: and you really need to prime that. And I think

981
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 4: that it is only fair to prime for a conversation

982
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:01,359
Speaker 4: like this, because you can't just catch someone off guard

983
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 4: if you've never talked about income in a way. At

984
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 4: the end of the day, money can be awkward to

985
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 4: talk about. We are very lucky in she's on the

986
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 4: money that you know, Gee, you and I talk about

987
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 4: cash all the time. We talk about money I do

988
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 4: with my partner, Jess does the same thing, like it

989
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:20,320
Speaker 4: is second nature to us, but it is not second

990
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 4: nature to most people. So please be aware that with

991
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 4: any of these conversations, you're very likely to catch your

992
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 4: partner off guard. They're not going to know what to reply.

993
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 4: Might be the first time that even considered a concept

994
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 4: like that. So maybe before we have this conversation, Ge,

995
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 4: we wind back to the morning, and in the morning,

996
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 4: I might say, hey, Gee, hope you have a really

997
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 4: good day at work. Actually when you get home. I've

998
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 4: been listening to this podcast, and this podcast it's been

999
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 4: telling me to have a conversation with my partner about

1000
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 4: splitting income differently, because you know, you make so much

1001
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,879
Speaker 4: more money than me. But let's have that conversation later.

1002
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 4: So your partner knows that they're coming into the house

1003
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,879
Speaker 4: to have this conversation. You're not springing it on them.

1004
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,240
Speaker 4: So I think that's a really important piece of homework

1005
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 4: that we all need to be doing. We could actually

1006
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 4: do that in a lot of different places. Like, George,

1007
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 4: you might really want to go to a party on

1008
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 4: the weekend and I don't really want to go. I

1009
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 4: might go, oh, look, George, when you get home, let's

1010
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 4: have a talk about that party because I'm just not

1011
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 4: sure about my feelings. You are planting the seed that

1012
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 4: you want to talk about it. You're not catching them

1013
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 4: completely off guard with an opinion they might not have

1014
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,799
Speaker 4: seen coming. I'm not saying that every partner needs this,

1015
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 4: but I absolutely would use your discretion when it comes

1016
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 4: to that. So, Gee, that was the morning. You've just

1017
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 4: walked in from work and we're going to have this conversation.

1018
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 4: You've if you've got a bevy, had a bit.

1019
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 3: Yep, I've got my best I've just a couch.

1020
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 4: And we're going to have a chat. And I'm going

1021
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 4: to say, so, ge this podcast that I was listening

1022
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 4: to said that we should talk about equity in our relationship,

1023
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 4: and you know, they were talking about how equity and

1024
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 4: equality aren't the same things, and that you know, equity

1025
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 4: is made up of income, but also all the stuff

1026
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 4: that we do around the house, like G. You know,

1027
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 4: on the weekends, you mow the lawns, and like you

1028
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,839
Speaker 4: wash the dog and I do all the dishes, and

1029
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,880
Speaker 4: you know, the laundry and stuff, and all of that

1030
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 4: needs to be taken into consideration. So we both feel

1031
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 4: like we're, you know, playing an equal part in this relationship.

1032
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 4: What do you think are here?

1033
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 2: What you're saying to it's but I work harder than you,

1034
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:33,720
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry, not interested. My money is my money,

1035
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 2: Your money is your money.

1036
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,399
Speaker 3: We split fifty to fifty back.

1037
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 4: I totally get that, G. But we're in this situation

1038
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 4: where I'm just getting a little bit frustrated because I've

1039
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 4: got these goals and you and I sit down all

1040
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 4: the time and we talk about what we want to

1041
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 4: achieve together, and when we set our shared goal, I'm

1042
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 4: not able to achieve my own personal goals. And it

1043
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 4: upsets me a bit that you're able to achieve your

1044
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 4: personal goals because you've got so much surplus income above

1045
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 4: and beyond what I do. And you know, we're saving

1046
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 4: for this holiday that we've got in September, and I'm

1047
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 4: putting all my money into that because I know that

1048
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 4: you really want to go, and so do I. But

1049
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 4: that means that I can't go out for drinks and

1050
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 4: stuff on the weekend with my friends, and you go

1051
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,800
Speaker 4: to golf like every Sunday morning, and that's like eighty bucks.

1052
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 4: So I was just wondering if we could talk about it,

1053
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 4: because I also work really hard, but I want to

1054
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 4: make sure that our relationship always feels fair.

1055
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 2: You've changed my mind, darling really well said that was

1056
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 2: so succinct, succinct, succinct, and I'm so sorry for the

1057
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 2: way I behaved.

1058
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:35,920
Speaker 3: Let's put it.

1059
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 4: I love you. Do you know what? I absolutely would

1060
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 4: have fired you if I'd hired you to be an

1061
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:47,919
Speaker 4: actor on this podcast. Yeah, really sorry, Ge, not made

1062
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,240
Speaker 4: up for you. But I think talking to a partner

1063
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 4: who says stuff like that, we need to put on

1064
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 4: a different hat and go okay. If this was a friend,

1065
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 4: how would I tell them to advocate for themselves? As

1066
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 4: often that is the advice that you should be taking yourself.

1067
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 4: I can't sit here and go, gee, this is how

1068
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 4: you should talk to your partner. I don't know your partner.

1069
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 4: I think we also need to exercise a little bit

1070
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 4: of caution around a topic like this. If I am

1071
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,280
Speaker 4: going to suggest that you talk to your partner about

1072
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 4: something like this, I am talking to you from a

1073
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 4: very privileged position where I'm not in an abusive relationship. Georgia,

1074
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,760
Speaker 4: I can talk to my partner very openly, very honestly.

1075
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 4: I could go off my rocker and be safe.

1076
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 3: If you do not.

1077
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 4: Feel like that is a situation you were in, I

1078
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,239
Speaker 4: would really second guess having this conversation, not go all

1079
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 4: victorious that I should have it and get yourself into

1080
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,359
Speaker 4: a bit of a sticky situation. I think it's really

1081
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 4: important as well to go, oh, I'm really sorry that

1082
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 4: you don't think that way, but I work just as

1083
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 4: hard as you do, Georgia, even though I'm not remunerated financially,

1084
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 4: and exactly the same way. I think really standing your

1085
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,839
Speaker 4: ground and having that conversation, like I'm really opinionated on

1086
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 4: this topic because I care so much about it. You,

1087
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 4: I care literally so much. It hurts sometimes about our

1088
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 4: community and it breaks my heart to think that someone

1089
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,720
Speaker 4: would be in a relationship with a partner that doesn't

1090
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 4: see the value that their partner has to provide. Like,

1091
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 4: I can't imagine how upset I would be George if

1092
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 4: you came to work Kwanjay Cup says, I don't work

1093
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:25,720
Speaker 4: hard in comparison to him, I'd be like, what a dick?

1094
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just not

1095
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 4: I wouldn't want your partners to talk to you this way,

1096
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 4: but unfortunately it is the reality of some people's situations

1097
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 4: where they might not have talked about it before. Also,

1098
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 4: think about your partner's money story. How have they been

1099
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 4: brought up? Have they been brought up to assume that

1100
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 4: the female does all of the work? Have they just

1101
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,839
Speaker 4: assumed this going forward? Have they just not had the

1102
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 4: grace of having that conversation before. And that's why I

1103
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 4: think it's so important to prime for that conversation, not

1104
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 4: just spring it on them and hope that they're ready.

1105
00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 4: Because you got the grace of a warning, Let's send

1106
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:01,240
Speaker 4: that to our partners.

1107
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 2: Yeah amazing, well said Okay, next response, This is my

1108
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: personal favorite. It actually came from the Facebook group. Can't

1109
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 2: remember who posted it, but thank you so much. But

1110
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:15,319
Speaker 2: I thought women wanted to be equal to men this

1111
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 2: is in the case of a hetero relationship, I should qualify.

1112
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:21,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, that is very fair. Absolutely, And that's why

1113
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 4: I really want to have the same opportunities that you

1114
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 4: do to save and invest my money as well, because

1115
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 4: you know, I want what is accessible to you, but

1116
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 4: unfortunately I don't earn what you earn it this point,

1117
00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 4: and I'd really like to talk about what equity in

1118
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 4: this relationship looks like. So maybe we can start a

1119
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 4: list and talk about what you know you do and

1120
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 4: what I do and how we can both contribute to

1121
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 4: this relationship. And George, I say that because if someone

1122
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 4: is willing to say I thought that women wanted to

1123
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 4: be equal to men that relationship, George, I'm just just

1124
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 4: stabbing the dark. They don't contribute a lot domestically, George,

1125
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,880
Speaker 4: I just know, I'm just getting a feeling. So I

1126
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 4: think that having that conversation about equity and what that means,

1127
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 4: and also remembering where they've come from, like we need

1128
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 4: to give people a little bit more, you know, And

1129
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,359
Speaker 4: I keep using the word grace. We need to give

1130
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 4: them grace because they might have been brought up differently

1131
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 4: to you, They might have had a completely different upbringing,

1132
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 4: and I think it's not fair to just assume that

1133
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 4: this is second nature to everybody, because it's not. And

1134
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 4: it's a privilege to be having this conversation now. But

1135
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 4: it's one of those things where, hey, I just think

1136
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 4: that we should be equal and I think that we

1137
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 4: should be having this conversation. And I've said before on

1138
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 4: the podcast, and do you know what I've said on

1139
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 4: the podcast, actually, Georgia. Why Because my mum used to

1140
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 4: say it to me and it was always just such

1141
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 4: a safety net for me growing up that I just

1142
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 4: want to extend it to my shees on the money

1143
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 4: community because I know I lent on that as a teenager,

1144
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 4: and I would want you to have the same opportunity.

1145
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 4: And that is blame me, you know, growing up, Mum

1146
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 4: would be like, if you don't want to be at

1147
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 4: a party, or you want to be picked up early,

1148
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 4: or you know, you don't want to go to Georgia's

1149
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 4: house for a sleepover, just blame me. I'll back you up.

1150
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 4: I'll say I'm the big bad wolf mom. Sorry, Mom's

1151
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 4: not gonna let me do that. Like how many times

1152
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 4: have we blamed our parents? If we are, you know,

1153
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 4: privileged enough to have parents that we can rely on

1154
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 4: in that way for not being able to do something.

1155
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 4: And I just think that, you know, blame the podcast.

1156
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 4: Blame Victoria. Oh my gosh, So I was listening to

1157
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 4: this podcast, and this crazy podcast has said that we

1158
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 4: should be talking about equity. So what do you think, Like,

1159
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 4: blame me? Like I genuinely would be absolutely flattered if

1160
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 4: you guys were using that as an excuse. And I somehow,

1161
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 4: even if your platner hates me, was a pivotal moment

1162
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 4: in your relationship to reach more equality and more equity. Like,

1163
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 4: I just think that's so special. And you know, I

1164
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 4: say that because my mom did that for me, and

1165
00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 4: my mom was that scapegoat to start conversations I didn't

1166
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 4: want to have, or you know, I was very conservative

1167
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 4: as a teenager, Georgia King. I can't imagine, just oh surprise,

1168
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 4: but I just remember being so conservative that, you know,

1169
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 4: I didn't particularly want to go to parties that had

1170
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 4: alcohol at it because that was a bit scary to me.

1171
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 4: So I remember being like, oh, mom wants to know

1172
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 4: is there going to be alcohol there? Yeah? Good one.

1173
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 4: Mom didn't want to know. Victoria wanted to know, but

1174
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 4: she didn't want to look like a loser. Yeah, so

1175
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 4: blame it on mum, blame it on Victoria, because, if anything,

1176
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 4: I think this podcast has been thuser such a positive

1177
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:41,040
Speaker 4: catalyst of conversation and change that if you don't know

1178
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 4: how to start this conversation or bring it up or

1179
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 4: even say you want it, because that could be a

1180
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 4: really hard conversation to have too, Like telling your partner

1181
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 4: you want to change something dramatic about your relationship is hard. Like,

1182
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 4: let's not pretend this is an easy conversation to have,

1183
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,959
Speaker 4: but it might be a really good catalyst to say, Hey,

1184
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 4: you know, you don't have to get them to listen

1185
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 4: to this podcast because then they'll know why blaming me,

1186
01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 4: But hey, oh my gosh, such an interesting podcast. They

1187
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 4: were talking about this, this and this. What are your thoughts?

1188
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 4: And your partner might go ugh, oh my god, menox

1189
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 4: so much harder or this or that, and you get

1190
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 4: to have this conversation kind of as a third party

1191
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 4: without having the conversation directly. Partner might be like, oh,

1192
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 4: that's a really interesting concept. We should do that, and

1193
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 4: you go, great idea, Brian, Like it's one of those

1194
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 4: things where I think that the conversation can start in

1195
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 4: a million different ways, but gee, if you don't know

1196
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,600
Speaker 4: how to start it, start it by saying you listen

1197
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 4: to a podcast.

1198
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the perfect place. Well, I think that's probably

1199
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 2: the perfect place to end today's episode.

1200
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 4: B your thoughts? Are you happy with that? I'm happy

1201
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 4: with everything except our really horrific role playing. But you

1202
01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 4: know what, like everything, practice is going to make perfect.

1203
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 4: And if you, guys thought that was the first and

1204
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,760
Speaker 4: the only time you would hear it on the Shed

1205
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 4: on the Money podcast, you were wrong, because I think

1206
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 4: we had far too much fun. We really did, We

1207
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 4: really really did. So before we go, as always, just

1208
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 4: before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge and pay

1209
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 4: respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander peoples. They're

1210
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 4: the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the

1211
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 4: skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing and

1212
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 4: for caring for the land on which we are able

1213
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,880
Speaker 4: to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,

1214
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 4: and we share our friendship and our kindness see week guys.

1215
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:28,680
Speaker 2: Oh and thank you to everyone who helped shape this episode.

1216
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 2: It was really, really helpful having all of your ideas

1217
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 2: injected into the show from the Facebook groups.

1218
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,439
Speaker 3: Yes, Little Angels.

1219
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 4: Let's do more contributions. I love it. Let's ask them

1220
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 4: more questions. Free labor, free labor, Bye bye,