1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,000
Speaker 1: Jonesy and Amanda in the morning.

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,400
Speaker 2: Sam, Well, here's the news story of police officers trying

3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,840
Speaker 2: to locate a man in connection with a warrant. They

4
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,000
Speaker 2: were led on a chase by a man into the woods.

5
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,600
Speaker 2: They're trying to locate the suspect in the dark. Where

6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,759
Speaker 2: is he? Where is he? There's bushes everywhere, and then

7
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:26,960
Speaker 2: you know what they hear, Try and guess, brendan A cough,

8
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,040
Speaker 2: a bottom cough, a boff.

9
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,200
Speaker 3: He's ripped one out.

10
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,360
Speaker 2: He ripped one out. He was given away by as

11
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,000
Speaker 2: it says here in the story, allowed fart. I'll say

12
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,639
Speaker 2: flatulence from now on, we would have to say that

13
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:41,720
Speaker 2: this f word when you grew up.

14
00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:42,400
Speaker 3: No, of course not.

15
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:43,199
Speaker 2: What would you call it?

16
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:44,320
Speaker 3: A pop off?

17
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,040
Speaker 2: A pop off?

18
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,400
Speaker 3: A pop off, someone's popped off.

19
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,720
Speaker 2: We called them braps because dad wants her. An old

20
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,120
Speaker 2: lady going down the street, and she made exactly that

21
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,600
Speaker 2: noise that it was always got a brack, that's right brack,

22
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,600
Speaker 2: but anyway, that's by the bye. He bracked behind the tree,

23
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,320
Speaker 2: and the one of the officers in pursuit said, I

24
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,280
Speaker 2: was almost out of wind running Luckily the suspects still

25
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,000
Speaker 2: had some I heard him let rip followed the noises

26
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,480
Speaker 2: to a bush, so he was arrested, of course, and

27
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:12,400
Speaker 2: the rest is history.

28
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,160
Speaker 3: No need to hidden with capsican spray.

29
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,200
Speaker 2: No, that's wrong. What designed? You can't always control when

30
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:19,960
Speaker 2: it's going to happen.

31
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 4: Terrible.

32
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 5: It happens to me in the stairwell. In the stairwell

33
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,400
Speaker 5: here on the way to work. So I don't use

34
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,720
Speaker 5: the lift on the fourth floor. I walk run up

35
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,400
Speaker 5: the stairs, and as I run up the stairs, you know,

36
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,760
Speaker 5: in the morning, I'll just rip.

37
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,480
Speaker 3: I had an old two tony.

38
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:34,080
Speaker 4: Put by.

39
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,120
Speaker 2: One that hasn't quite change.

40
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,399
Speaker 5: It's quite satisfying. But every time I do it, I

41
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,880
Speaker 5: don't do it. Often crazy Mindy will be in the

42
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,280
Speaker 5: in the stairwell.

43
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:50,760
Speaker 3: And she doesn't even know it's me. She knows it's

44
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:55,040
Speaker 3: not me, Mindy. I mean it is someone else.

45
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,480
Speaker 2: Times we don't hear she's asphyxiated, but it.

46
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,080
Speaker 5: Resonates right up and down the whole thing. Oh, but

47
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,440
Speaker 5: she's always there when I do it.

48
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,600
Speaker 3: What does she live in that day?

49
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,519
Speaker 2: Simon Reeve, when he and I were reporters on Beyond two.

50
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,239
Speaker 5: Thousand, Channel seven news reporter, that's right, host of MEI

51
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:12,880
Speaker 5: and Dollar Minute.

52
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,040
Speaker 2: Yes, and he and I were once when we had

53
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,240
Speaker 2: only just started it. Beyond two thousand there was the

54
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,400
Speaker 2: Science Awards that beyond two thousand years to have. So

55
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,840
Speaker 2: all these school kids were there and their parents, but

56
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,400
Speaker 2: the school kids were all standing in front of us,

57
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 2: and Simon and I were being filmed looking solemnly up

58
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:29,480
Speaker 2: onto the stage where the winners are being announced. And

59
00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,480
Speaker 2: this kid in front has lets one rip and Simon

60
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,359
Speaker 2: and I who are as juvenile as each other.

61
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,800
Speaker 3: How old have you been at the start?

62
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,040
Speaker 2: I would have been in my mid twenties, mid to

63
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:38,680
Speaker 2: late twenties.

64
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,080
Speaker 3: Okay, so old enough to know better.

65
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,839
Speaker 2: Oh yes, we started just laughing hysterically when you were

66
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,679
Speaker 2: being filmed, so trying to keep your face normal when

67
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,200
Speaker 2: you're trying so hard not to laugh, And to the

68
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,440
Speaker 2: point where the mother of the boy turned around and

69
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:58,359
Speaker 2: said to us, oh, Grower, oh he did it, he

70
00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:58,639
Speaker 2: did it.

71
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:00,800
Speaker 3: It was your kid.

72
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, she knew he'd done it, but she's you know,

73
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,359
Speaker 2: she was looking at us to say, can't you get

74
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:04,799
Speaker 2: over this?

75
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:05,080
Speaker 4: Plan?

76
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,000
Speaker 3: Come on, come to grow.

77
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,440
Speaker 2: Well, the tribal drum is beating for this.

78
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:15,760
Speaker 3: Oh I can't let it out right?

79
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,799
Speaker 2: So pretty much, when is your flatulent's got you into trouble.

80
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,280
Speaker 2: It's pretty much what it is.

81
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,160
Speaker 3: Marie Anne's and Raby Hi, Mary Anne.

82
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,919
Speaker 1: Hi Jonesy, Hi Amanda. I'm actually ringing up to dog

83
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,840
Speaker 1: my son in because I was more embarrassed than he

84
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,600
Speaker 1: was at the time. That was many years ago. He

85
00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 1: was the high school student and it was Easter, so

86
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,720
Speaker 1: we were off to Mass, and he used to come

87
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,040
Speaker 1: up with a thousand reasons why he didn't have to

88
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,640
Speaker 1: go to Mass, or he was unwell or see. And

89
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,360
Speaker 1: this particular day, we was sitting there in a crowded church.

90
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 1: We're in the middle in the pews, and he says

91
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,560
Speaker 1: to me, Mum, I've got to go outside. I feel

92
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,440
Speaker 1: really really unwell. And I went, you're not. You're going

93
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,200
Speaker 1: to sit there. It's something an hour, you know, in

94
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,320
Speaker 1: sort of deal with it. And he kept saying he

95
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,120
Speaker 1: was sick and he had a pain in his stomach.

96
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,040
Speaker 1: So he went on and I said, look, get up

97
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,400
Speaker 1: and go out and then come, I mean, if you

98
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,880
Speaker 1: feel better. From the time, he stood up in his

99
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,400
Speaker 1: seat and walked along the queue. He let one rip

100
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 1: and it just kept going and going and going, and

101
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:15,480
Speaker 1: he was passing elderly people he was passing small families

102
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,479
Speaker 1: on the way out to the aisle, and it just

103
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 1: he must have had them in the bank for six months,

104
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,039
Speaker 1: just saving them for a time to get out of

105
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,320
Speaker 1: going to matt And he walked up the hallway up

106
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,840
Speaker 1: the aisle, all the way up and it just kept going.

107
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:29,839
Speaker 4: It was so loud.

108
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 1: He was above the choir singing the hymns, and I

109
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,560
Speaker 1: was just mortified.

110
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 2: Did anyone laugh?

111
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,120
Speaker 1: Well, this would have dropped their head down, you know,

112
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:42,200
Speaker 1: because they're in Merthimus of solemn occation. But anybody under

113
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:47,720
Speaker 1: the age of about fifteen could barely contain them. People

114
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,200
Speaker 1: were laughing, and he couldn't make out it was anybody

115
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:54,239
Speaker 1: else because it just followed him there for about two minutes.

116
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,919
Speaker 3: It was so good, a new incense.

117
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,920
Speaker 2: Out of key, Thank him, Harry An Rob's in ascri Hi, Rob,

118
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 2: can't keep it in.

119
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,479
Speaker 3: What happened?

120
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,560
Speaker 4: Hi? Man? Hi? Don't you here going? Guys? Why is

121
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,400
Speaker 4: it every time I wring you guys? It's always when

122
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,000
Speaker 4: I'm at my absolute best. And I apologize to my

123
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,880
Speaker 4: two daughters who are about to hear this story. The

124
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:22,560
Speaker 4: year nineteen seventy six, eighteen year old Rob mugging's here,

125
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,480
Speaker 4: has taken a girl up the case with a group

126
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,280
Speaker 4: of about ten of us, and we're keeping in one

127
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,159
Speaker 4: of those big old canvas tents, you know, we've sort

128
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,280
Speaker 4: of them. There's a couple in every corner. Anyway, we're

129
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,880
Speaker 4: laying and then we've had a few beers. We're all

130
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,159
Speaker 4: sort of cabin a bit of fun tale something. Oh

131
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,839
Speaker 4: I need to go to the toilet. I thought, I'll

132
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,400
Speaker 4: just go out here, bind myself a little tree. So

133
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,200
Speaker 4: I've sort of gone out there and sort of done

134
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,000
Speaker 4: a wizard. I said, Oh, there's a bit of flatters here.

135
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,680
Speaker 4: I thought, I know what I'm going to do. I'm

136
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,320
Speaker 4: going to nustle up beside the tenth here and I'm

137
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,279
Speaker 4: going to give him the best rip they've ever ever heard.

138
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,840
Speaker 4: So I sucked in the air in it cobs, and

139
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,640
Speaker 4: I've gone and I've let it rip full full, follow through,

140
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:08,680
Speaker 4: follow through, and all of a sudden, so here I

141
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,840
Speaker 4: am with this is you can to imagine. I won't

142
00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:13,640
Speaker 4: describe the scene. And then I'm thinking, oh my god,

143
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,800
Speaker 4: my shower bags beside this girl whom I've only just

144
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:22,080
Speaker 4: taken away. And so I had to call on a

145
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,120
Speaker 4: friend at the time, and he said, you want to

146
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,400
Speaker 4: use my soap to get that out?

147
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:33,599
Speaker 3: Oh in what world? In what world would you think

148
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,680
Speaker 3: that the girl would be interested in you?

149
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,680
Speaker 2: But this is even after you've chosen to lean against

150
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,680
Speaker 2: the tent and do it.

151
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,240
Speaker 4: I know, I know, I know this is not you know,

152
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,400
Speaker 4: like it was a long time ago. I've grown up.

153
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,120
Speaker 4: I'm sixty sixty two now I do things like this.

154
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,080
Speaker 4: But girls, I do apologize. I know you're sitting there going,

155
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,839
Speaker 4: oh my god, that father of ours.

156
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960
Speaker 2: All right, thank you for sharing, Rob. I look forward

157
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,680
Speaker 2: to your next call.

158
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,360
Speaker 3: I don't know what to live. I think that's pretty much.

159
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:04,960
Speaker 3: And you're not getting mad in the match either.

160
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,160
Speaker 4: For that.

161
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,080
Speaker 3: We don't need to hear that. We don't need to

162
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:07,560
Speaker 3: hear that ever.

163
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:07,919
Speaker 4: Again.

164
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,800
Speaker 5: I think we'll wrap that up join the and Amanda

165
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:15,520
Speaker 5: in the morning.

166
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,040
Speaker 1: But at one point seven, tell you