Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 4: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
Speaker 4: shot back Money Diary Monday, where we chat to one
Speaker 4: of our Gorge community members and learn about them, their story,
Speaker 4: their plans, their dreams, their hopes, just all of the
Speaker 4: jew juicy details.
Speaker 5: Victoria, how are you going.
Speaker 1: I'm good.
Speaker 2: I'm not as excited about this one as you are,
Speaker 2: purely because I just don't know what I'm looking for yet.
Speaker 4: You don't know what's going on, but it is a goodie.
Speaker 4: Let me give you a little overview, So our diarist wrote,
Speaker 4: I found my old therapy notes from age twelve, and
Speaker 4: a big worry was my family's financials. I was hospitalized
Speaker 4: several times as a child to have open heart surgery,
Speaker 4: and my dad accepted a retrenchment to stay by my
Speaker 4: side in hospital. My parents are now fine financially, but
Speaker 4: I feel like too much was shared with me as
Speaker 4: a kid, and it caused a lot of anxiety about
Speaker 4: what is enough to get by. I want to know
Speaker 4: what financial stability looks like for someone at twenty seven
Speaker 4: years old.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, now I am excited to learn about that.
Speaker 1: That's heavy.
Speaker 2: It's a young person. That's a lot to carry, especially
Speaker 2: because when you're not well, when you're young, you feel
Speaker 2: like a burden already, Like, oh, you feel like a
Speaker 2: burden regardless of your age.
Speaker 4: And just a little content warning as well. We will
Speaker 4: be touching on sexual assault a little bit later. So
Speaker 4: if that's something that is a little challenging for you
Speaker 4: right now, that is so totally fine that this might
Speaker 4: be an episode that you want to give a mess.
Speaker 2: We have a heap of other episodes for you to
Speaker 2: listen to, So jump on over there now, Money Darrist,
Speaker 2: you're hanging out in the wings. Welcome to the show. Hi, welcome,
Speaker 2: I'm excited to have you. Thank you for taking the
Speaker 2: time to hang out with us. But without further ado,
Speaker 2: let's just throw you in the deep end money darist
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about your money story.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so what I wrote there, I've listened to the
Speaker 6: podcasts for a while and kind of related to the
Speaker 6: whole money story thing. That didn't think it was that
Speaker 6: relevant for me, Like I couldn't think of a big
Speaker 6: pivotal moment little did you know exactly? My mom got
Speaker 6: me to go because I moved out of home last year.
Speaker 6: My mom got me to go back and deal with
Speaker 6: all my filing and stuff like that. And I found
Speaker 6: the notes from when I was a kid, and it
Speaker 6: talked about kind of my big anxiety about my family
Speaker 6: and their financial situation. And I just kind of realized, like, whoa,
Speaker 6: that still definitely translates to me now. And I thought,
Speaker 6: you know, who would relate to this? Who could I tell?
Speaker 6: And I instantly thought, oh, like she's on the money
Speaker 6: team know about money stories, And oh.
Speaker 1: My gosh, yes we do, we do.
Speaker 6: We want to hear that I relate now. So yeah,
Speaker 6: I sent that in.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that is so special.
Speaker 2: And do you think that that kind of formed the
Speaker 2: way you've been acting around money even subconsciously as an
Speaker 2: adult today, Like, how do you think that that's impacted
Speaker 2: you growing into an adult?
Speaker 6: One hundred percent? Like I value money quite highly. I
Speaker 6: worry about not having enough. So I was very much,
Speaker 6: especially growing up like a saber rather than a spender.
Speaker 6: And even now I'm like very meticulous with where every
Speaker 6: dollar goes in my paycheck. And I think it's because
Speaker 6: I remember what it's like to not be able to
Speaker 6: afford even like we still got all the big stuff,
Speaker 6: We got all the food and the you know, the
Speaker 6: roof ever ahead. But I remember the first big argument
Speaker 6: I had with my mum was whether she would buy
Speaker 6: the most recent Harry Potter book for me, and she
Speaker 6: was like, we just can't. We can't afford it right now.
Speaker 6: You could go to the library, And I was very
Speaker 6: cranky about that because I like owning money.
Speaker 1: I did not want the library.
Speaker 5: The library's not cool.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've still got them here on my bookshelf at home,
Speaker 6: the Harry Potter books, So they were like a big
Speaker 6: thing in my childhood. But yeah, that idea of not
Speaker 6: being able to afford something that I considered to be
Speaker 6: so small as just a book really like through me.
Speaker 2: But it was a lot, like it was a lot
Speaker 2: in their budget at that time because clearly they were
Speaker 2: living dollar to dollar and it was all making sense
Speaker 2: until a bump in the road came off and money
Speaker 2: diarist was like, excuse.
Speaker 1: Me, but why not? I don't get it.
Speaker 2: So that hits kids pretty hard as well when it
Speaker 2: starts to become things that really impact them. So it's
Speaker 2: interesting to see how that translated to the way you
Speaker 2: behave as an adult, because whether it's conscious or unconscious,
Speaker 2: our money diary is so formative. I find it so interesting.
Speaker 2: So thank you for sharing that with us. But let's
Speaker 2: learn a little bit about you as an adult. Now,
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about what you do for
Speaker 2: work and how much money you earn.
Speaker 6: So I'm a registered nurse in Imagine Department. So I'm
Speaker 6: an RN four.
Speaker 1: Now, fancy lady.
Speaker 6: Well, basically just means I've been out of UNI for
Speaker 6: four years. But it meant that last financial year I
Speaker 6: earned eighty eight thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: And that's pretty good.
Speaker 6: Yeah, last year I had what I affectionately called lockdown
Speaker 6: annual leave, which is where my leaf balance was too
Speaker 6: high that Sydney was still in like our big month long,
Speaker 6: couple months long lockdown.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so I did.
Speaker 6: Some like uber eats driving during that time just to
Speaker 6: have a reason to get out of the house.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I made an extra two thousand dollars after tax.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that was worth it.
Speaker 6: Well, I mean twofold. It stopped me from sitting in
Speaker 6: my house for four weeks in lockdown. And yeah, a
Speaker 6: little bit of extra coin to go towards the holiday
Speaker 6: fund is always nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually epic.
Speaker 2: I love hearing stories about people getting little side hustles
Speaker 2: that aren't necessarily always about the money. It's yeah, great,
Speaker 2: you made two grand, but you're also like, no, I
Speaker 2: needed to get out of the house. This was basically
Speaker 2: a really good insurance policy for my mental health and
Speaker 2: to make sure that I'm still moving and doing stuff
Speaker 2: at a time when arguably a lot of people were
Speaker 2: just locked away and unable to.
Speaker 1: So I love that for you.
Speaker 6: And we still got to chat to people like it
Speaker 6: was still very much like here's your food, but like
Speaker 6: how is your day?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you still feel like you're doing something.
Speaker 6: Still I'm talking to someone other than you know, my
Speaker 6: partner who I live with.
Speaker 2: I feel like in Lockdown I was a bit like that.
Speaker 2: Whenever the postman came, I'm like, how are you do?
Speaker 2: You want to come for a cup of tea? Not
Speaker 2: that I did that, but it was just a lot
Speaker 2: more interactive than it would have been otherwise.
Speaker 6: Oh, I was going to say, Now, if I order Uber,
Speaker 6: it's like the person guidance and drops off my food,
Speaker 6: and because I get we get to go out and
Speaker 6: see all our friends. It doesn't seem as much of
Speaker 6: a social interaction now or as it did last year.
Speaker 6: It was definitely.
Speaker 2: Exciting, totally. Now, you mentioned a holiday fund before. I'd
Speaker 2: love to know what is your big money goal?
Speaker 6: So I always set aside parts of my money like
Speaker 6: for holidays anyway, so I wouldn't really call that the
Speaker 6: big goal. The big goal for me is relatively typically millennially,
Speaker 6: is to try and buy a house. So I set
Speaker 6: aside twenty percent of my income to a deposit account
Speaker 6: that I'm trying to get a home deposit, so figures
Speaker 6: cross that'll get there sometime soon. I'm starting reading into
Speaker 6: doing contributions towards my super to get that as well,
Speaker 6: just to try and strike while the iron's hot hopefully,
Speaker 6: so yeah, buy a house.
Speaker 2: Smart woman. Now tell me a little bit about the
Speaker 2: amounts in those savings accounts, because you can say, look,
Speaker 2: my big money goals this, but this is she's on
Speaker 2: the money. I want to know how much is in
Speaker 2: that account and how much further you want to go.
Speaker 6: So if you exclude my emergency fund, because that's I've
Speaker 6: put that in a separate account that I don't really
Speaker 6: look at. There's ten grand in there, which I guess
Speaker 6: I could tap into if I need, like if I
Speaker 6: got a gin, But otherwise I have fifty thousand dollars
Speaker 6: saved at the moment.
Speaker 1: Oh, check you out.
Speaker 2: You weren't wrong about being a good little saver trying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my gosh, how good?
Speaker 2: And how much do you think you need for a
Speaker 2: house deposit for where you want to purchase.
Speaker 6: I live in Sydney and the house and prising is
Speaker 6: yeah insane. I's so at the moment, and I have
Speaker 6: learned since the Spicy Cough lockdowns that I want like
Speaker 6: a backyard, I want a house with land. I realize
Speaker 6: how important it is for my mental health to be
Speaker 6: able to be outside and like not just on a
Speaker 6: little balcony. Yeah, so it means I'm looking at like
Speaker 6: one point two minimum in terms of purchase price, and
Speaker 6: ideally I'd like to avoid LMI, so I'm going to
Speaker 6: go for twenty percent of that. But currently I'm living
Speaker 6: with my partner, so he also has that as his goal,
Speaker 6: Like he wants a house as well, so let's go
Speaker 6: ten percent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so that'll make it a little bit easier,
Speaker 2: but obviously that's a really big goal. Like we're not
Speaker 2: talking let's just say fifty grand and buy something that
Speaker 2: fifty grand can buy you. How do you feel about
Speaker 2: time frames around goals, so like, are you still committed
Speaker 2: or do you feel like some times you fall off
Speaker 2: the bandwagon, because I think a lot of millennials are
Speaker 2: in this situation where they're like, oh my god, saving
Speaker 2: for a house takes forever, but it's worth it in
Speaker 2: the long term.
Speaker 6: Yeah. I mean, I definitely have those moments where you're
Speaker 6: like trolling domain or real estate dot Com and you're
Speaker 6: seeing what you could get if you've got a deposit
Speaker 6: on what you had now, and it's always disheartening. Yeah,
Speaker 6: but I know that my parents now like they've offered
Speaker 6: to let me move back in home with my partner
Speaker 6: and they set up a little space for us if
Speaker 6: we wanted to save the money we were spending on rent.
Speaker 6: So that's something we're considering because that would save we
Speaker 6: spend fifteen grand on rent, Like my half of it
Speaker 6: is that much. So oh my gosh, wow, Si me
Speaker 6: renting is also expensive, but that would mean that that
Speaker 6: would be fifteen grand that I can save without having
Speaker 6: to like do any And.
Speaker 2: That's a massive saving and like that projects you so
Speaker 2: much further forward when it comes to saving for a home.
Speaker 2: And if you're moving back in, like arguably you and
Speaker 2: your partner, if you're both doing that, that potentially is
Speaker 2: another thirty grand a year, Like that's why.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so that's what we're talking about at the moment.
Speaker 6: But he's a bit older than me and has lived
Speaker 6: out of home for a lot longer, so he's obviously
Speaker 6: very hesitant to give up that independence to move back in,
Speaker 6: especially with my family.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely a balance of values and what you
Speaker 2: want to do and how it's working. I totally understand that.
Speaker 2: Moving on from goals, I want to know, do you
Speaker 2: have any investments.
Speaker 6: I have my super which I never really thought of
Speaker 6: as an investment until the podcast.
Speaker 1: But it is, but it is. I promise it's.
Speaker 6: Got thirty thousand in it at the moment.
Speaker 1: Hey, that's pretty good for your app.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it's like this was a little I
Speaker 6: think you guys might have posted it like a little
Speaker 6: what's the average for your age bracket? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Probably. Yeah, that sounds like something just would have done to.
Speaker 6: Us, and that kind of average, which is good.
Speaker 1: It's nice to just know your own trick.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I always thought I was behind because I didn't really
Speaker 6: like a lot of people start working at fourteen and
Speaker 6: nine months and they keep binding, whereas my first job
Speaker 6: I was eighteen, Like it was. I couldn't work during
Speaker 6: high school, so it was I was always worried that
Speaker 6: I'd be behind. But it's nice to know that I'm
Speaker 6: kind of on average. And then last year I put
Speaker 6: my tax return into a raise account.
Speaker 1: And oh my gosh, who is she? I know you.
Speaker 6: Contribute like the price of one coffee a week, which
Speaker 6: I know isn't a lot.
Speaker 1: No, no, no no.
Speaker 2: I used to quote on the podcast all the time
Speaker 2: from little things, big things grow, and they really do.
Speaker 2: It's about the habit, and it's about forming those habits
Speaker 2: and creating consistency, so when your income increases or your
Speaker 2: situation changes, you can make that change.
Speaker 6: And also, I'm very risk averse, so I went, if
Speaker 6: I can give up one cup of coffee slowly? Yeah,
Speaker 6: like I could handle not having one coffee.
Speaker 2: You're like, if I lost a cup of coffee this week,
Speaker 2: it wouldn't be the worst thing, So let's start investing
Speaker 2: with that.
Speaker 1: I love that exactly.
Speaker 6: I dropped my coffee on the floor the other day
Speaker 6: and that was also five dollars down the drain.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it was so disappointing. I love that
Speaker 1: for you. Next question is do you currently have any debts?
Speaker 1: I feel like you're going to say no. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm pretty good at predicting this, but what is it.
Speaker 6: No, I don't currently have any debts. I have had debt,
Speaker 6: like I got a car loan to buy a car,
Speaker 6: but then I also got essentially I got a payment
Speaker 6: for being a victim of a crime and use that
Speaker 6: to pay off my car loan. So now, apart from
Speaker 6: my hex, I'm debt free.
Speaker 1: That is a really terrible money win.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, it's a money win because you got
Speaker 2: money and got to pay off a debt, but you
Speaker 2: probably experienced something really traumatic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: I feel like I can joke about it now and
Speaker 6: I think of it now as let's just focus on
Speaker 6: the fact that I got.
Speaker 1: That money in I mean, no debt debt free except
Speaker 1: my hex.
Speaker 6: But you know that dies with me anyway.
Speaker 1: So all right, So we're going to come back to
Speaker 1: that after the break.
Speaker 2: But moving on from my question about debt, I want
Speaker 2: to ask about good money habits. But before I get there,
Speaker 2: my friend, you're in the She's on the Money community.
Speaker 2: You knew that you wanted to share money wins with us,
Speaker 2: so it's a logical or something to assume.
Speaker 1: That maybe you use shop back. Can you tell us
Speaker 1: if you do, or if you've had any experience with
Speaker 1: it before?
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 6: I do use shot back. I haven't heard of it
Speaker 6: before the podcast. I was. I had the Honey extension,
Speaker 6: the one that.
Speaker 5: Like, oh my gosh, I remember.
Speaker 6: Allie you like discount codes.
Speaker 4: And it was really annoying though, because I got I
Speaker 4: reckon six emails a day from that Honey.
Speaker 6: Recent I was like, no, the emails are worth it
Speaker 6: if I save some money. Yeah, shot back no emails
Speaker 6: like unless I want them, which is even better. I
Speaker 6: don't feel like they're spamming my inbox, and so far
Speaker 6: I've got like thirty dollars sitting in there, which will
Speaker 6: be a nice little treat at some point.
Speaker 2: I love that I have been trying to use shot
Speaker 2: back as much as possible. If you're a long term
Speaker 2: listener of the pod, you'll know that Jess uses shot
Speaker 2: back on all of our business purchases, so hers is
Speaker 2: looking probably incredibly healthy right now. But I'm planning on
Speaker 2: drawing mine now at Christmas time and using it on
Speaker 2: Christmas groceries, because I feel like that's the thing that
Speaker 2: gets away from me at Christmas. I budget for presents
Speaker 2: and organize all of that stuff, but I totally forget
Speaker 2: how much I spend on groceries. But moving on before
Speaker 2: someone mentions the fact that I did a weeminar we
Speaker 2: shot back one time and said it's just like honey
Speaker 2: guys in front of the MD of shot back, which
Speaker 2: is just they still work with us.
Speaker 1: So far, so good.
Speaker 2: I want to know another one of your good money habits,
Speaker 2: my friend, what is your best money habit?
Speaker 6: I probably go with my best money habit at the
Speaker 6: moment is automation. Like all my pay. I'm very fortunate
Speaker 6: that I work for the government. I work in a
Speaker 6: public hospital, and they allow you to separate your pay
Speaker 6: into like six separate chunks.
Speaker 1: So, oh, how good is that?
Speaker 6: So I've worked out how much my bills for the
Speaker 6: year work out to be for the month, and then
Speaker 6: set that aside, and then I get my twenty percent
Speaker 6: deposit and I set that aside, and you know, five
Speaker 6: percent goes to my little holiday accounts. Set that aside
Speaker 6: each month. So it just means that I never feel short.
Speaker 6: So I think that's probably my best I.
Speaker 1: Really like that.
Speaker 2: So are you saying that what hits your actual bank
Speaker 2: account that you kind of have a debit card with,
Speaker 2: that's just what you can spend and you know you
Speaker 2: can spend because everything else is already pre allocated.
Speaker 6: Yeah, pretty much. So I do HelloFresh for meals, but
Speaker 6: for breakfasts and you know, little snacks and things like that.
Speaker 6: I've still got to put the groceries on that part.
Speaker 6: But other than that, if I want to go out
Speaker 6: with my friends or if I want that you know,
Speaker 6: cheeky second coffee for the day, like I know that
Speaker 6: that money is there for the month, and yeah.
Speaker 1: I really like that.
Speaker 2: I feel like that sounds very similar to the budget
Speaker 2: and cash flow system that I am a massive fan
Speaker 2: of because I created it incredibly biased. But it's really
Speaker 2: about automating all of the things except your food, your fuel,
Speaker 2: and your fun because you still have to like tap
Speaker 2: a debit card for those things.
Speaker 1: And it just makes sense.
Speaker 2: But as you said, if you want another cheeky coffee,
Speaker 2: it's easy to do because in the back of your mind,
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I was pretty good with groceries this week.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter too much if I do that. Or
Speaker 2: if you went over and had a few more splurge
Speaker 2: items in your groceries, you'd be like, ah, anomal coffee.
Speaker 2: I'll just have our tea when I get home.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I mean reading your book did make me
Speaker 6: change my system a little bit.
Speaker 1: Oh really, how tell us spill the beans?
Speaker 6: It was probably more to do with the like making
Speaker 6: sure your fixed expenses are split up per pay cycle
Speaker 6: and audiating that, whereas I was trying to like guess
Speaker 6: before and being like, oh, I think it'll be like
Speaker 6: this much a month or that much a month.
Speaker 5: I'll tell you stress yourself out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how you end up in a pickle.
Speaker 6: I had a spreadsheet and it was like it was
Speaker 6: I was close.
Speaker 1: That's more than guess what. That is better than an edge,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. I like that.
Speaker 2: And I think that we've just tobo charged it. We're
Speaker 2: working together for your cash flow.
Speaker 6: I love it absolutely.
Speaker 2: All right, let's flip this on its head, money diarist,
Speaker 2: what's your worst money habit?
Speaker 6: You thought about this one a lot, mainly because I
Speaker 6: didn't have like a gut answer, or if I did,
Speaker 6: it wasn't one that I thought was like quote unquote valid.
Speaker 6: I think, if anything, it's that I don't treat myself
Speaker 6: like I go to work like forty hours a week.
Speaker 6: We all do. And I don't like spending my money.
Speaker 6: I think that comes from that anxiety of not knowing
Speaker 6: whether I'll have enough, which is silly because I didn't
Speaker 6: really struggle with that much as a kid. But I
Speaker 6: think it's because I don't want to be without the
Speaker 6: money that I do have. So I guess my worst
Speaker 6: money habit is that I don't spend it on me
Speaker 6: that often other people one hundred percent. If you're my
Speaker 6: friend and it's your birthday have gift, but for me,
Speaker 6: I kind of hold on to it very tight.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's really common, especially given the context
Speaker 2: you've provided us with around how you grew up around
Speaker 2: money and that you kind of have carried that as
Speaker 2: a burden, and the way you compensate for that in
Speaker 2: a way is to overcompensate when it comes to money
Speaker 2: and hoard it and not diffuse it when it comes
Speaker 2: to looking after yourself. But I do think that a
Speaker 2: healthy budget long term does include self care, because self
Speaker 2: care is going to mean that you are better at
Speaker 2: work and you're able to, you know, put more into
Speaker 2: your job and ultimately earn more money and be more sustainable.
Speaker 1: So definitely treat yourself.
Speaker 2: But it sounds like you're learning a little bit because
Speaker 2: before we started recording, you did say for your birthday,
Speaker 2: you are getting yourself a nice massage.
Speaker 6: And I have made sure that there will be, you know,
Speaker 6: enough in my little spending account to make sure that happens,
Speaker 6: because payday is after my birthday.
Speaker 2: I hate that when you're like, no, I wanted this
Speaker 2: nice thing, but I'm gonna have to budget for it
Speaker 2: a month in advance.
Speaker 6: I get paid fortnightly my birthdays on the Tuesday and
Speaker 6: payday's on the Wednesday on. It's like just that little
Speaker 6: bit too tight, But that's okay. We'll have enough. Or
Speaker 6: if not, I could steal a little from my travel
Speaker 6: fund and put it back when I get paid.
Speaker 1: We can replenish that later. That is fine.
Speaker 2: You definitely deserve the massage. Yeah, Money Diarist. Last question
Speaker 2: before we head to a quick break is if we
Speaker 2: forced you to give yourself a money grade, what would
Speaker 2: you grade yourself.
Speaker 6: I'm probably going to go with, like, I don't really
Speaker 6: understand the whole pluses and minuses of the grade system.
Speaker 2: Ah, you can just make it up, honestly, when I
Speaker 2: think that's what everybody else does.
Speaker 1: We don't fact check it, so we'll go with.
Speaker 6: Like a B. I'm not great, but I've definitely improved
Speaker 6: a lot, but I still think I have a way
Speaker 6: to go. But I'm like the higher end of the
Speaker 6: B scale, So like.
Speaker 1: A B plus, Yeah, maybe a B plus. We'll give
Speaker 1: you a B plus. I reckon if that's how it works.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know, but let's yeah.
Speaker 1: I reckon.
Speaker 2: There's a few people listening that are like money Diarist,
Speaker 2: You've got a really healthy emergency fund saving for a house.
Speaker 2: Sounds like you've got a budget and cash flow system
Speaker 2: that is incredibly efficient. They're going to be shaking their
Speaker 2: phones right now listening to.
Speaker 1: You, going like, get it together, you're an a.
Speaker 2: I won't argue with you, but I do have a
Speaker 2: few questions for you. Right after this quick break, all right,
Speaker 2: diving straight back in Money Diarist, when you wrote into Jess,
Speaker 2: you explained that you've been going through some stuff at
Speaker 2: your parents' house and found some notes that you'd left
Speaker 2: and like kind of like journal entries from when you
Speaker 2: were little about how you were stressed about money.
Speaker 1: And I'd love to know a little bit more about.
Speaker 2: That process and how that has affected you in the
Speaker 2: long term, because Jess said you had was an open
Speaker 2: heart surgery when you were young. Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: That is a lot of trauma to carry, but obviously
Speaker 2: created a fair bit of financial burden on your family,
Speaker 2: given your dad went through a retrenchment to make sure
Speaker 2: he could hang.
Speaker 1: Out with you, which is so special.
Speaker 2: But could you tell us a little bit about that
Speaker 2: period of your life.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So, throats that I found were like it was
Speaker 6: after I heard that I needed another surgery, so I
Speaker 6: had one when I was born, and then the second
Speaker 6: one when I was fourteen. But when I was twelve,
Speaker 6: I started getting sick with the symptoms of my heart condition,
Speaker 6: and I overheard the doctor telling my parents that I
Speaker 6: needed extra heart surgery, which my parents had never really
Speaker 6: spoken to me about because they.
Speaker 1: Wanted me to be a happy child.
Speaker 6: Exactly like I played rep sport, like I was very
Speaker 6: fit and healthy, and they didn't really want that burden
Speaker 6: hanging over me.
Speaker 2: It's stressful, and a kid doesn't fully comprehend that, especially
Speaker 2: if it's a maybe right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, right. It could have been in ten years from
Speaker 6: that point, It could have been two years from that point,
Speaker 6: It could have been six months from then. Like I
Speaker 6: wasn't going to know, so my parents didn't tell me.
Speaker 6: But then when I did hear, I didn't talk to
Speaker 6: them either, So I kind of compartmentalized and bottled all
Speaker 6: that up and got a bit stressed. And yeah, I
Speaker 6: was very much a diary kid. I wrote a lot,
Speaker 6: and then my dad got retrenched from his job or
Speaker 6: accepted in the retrenchment.
Speaker 4: I guess, can you before you go any further for
Speaker 4: anyone who doesn't know what a retrenchment is. Can you
Speaker 4: just explain that for.
Speaker 6: Them my understanding, I'll put it out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, is essentially I'll confirm nor deny.
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you. It essentially the business went. We no
Speaker 6: longer have a role that suits your needs. So you
Speaker 6: can either take this chunk of money to leave the business,
Speaker 6: or we can try and fit you in a hole,
Speaker 6: but it won't necessarily be at the same pay grade
Speaker 6: or in the same position. That was kind of my
Speaker 6: understanding of it.
Speaker 1: Is not wrong.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's similar to a redundancy.
Speaker 2: Similar to a redundancy, but it's kind of like a
Speaker 2: negotiation and yeah, okay. Rather it's a bit more in
Speaker 2: your court about what the outcome is in comparison to
Speaker 2: a redundancy where they're like, hey, JS, your services are
Speaker 2: no longer needed because you don't have a job here anymore. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: this is the outcome. It's a bit more in your hands.
Speaker 2: But in saying that the world is wild, and that
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that every business treats it in exactly the
Speaker 2: same way.
Speaker 4: I could see though, if that's the case, and if
Speaker 4: it was a bit in his power to negotiate, why
Speaker 4: he would have elected to take that to spend more
Speaker 4: time with you, knowing that you were going to have
Speaker 4: that surgery.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so he actually was one of the ones that
Speaker 6: sat with me. I have siblings and my mom spent
Speaker 6: a lot of time with them, but my dad and
Speaker 6: I are really close and he was probably a better
Speaker 6: presence to have at the bedside anyway.
Speaker 2: At fourteen, I can absolutely attest to that. I used
Speaker 2: to fight like cat'n dog with my mum, but my
Speaker 2: dad would walk in and I'd be like, Hi, Dad,
Speaker 2: love you, right, I was a pet.
Speaker 6: I think my mum and I are very similar, so
Speaker 6: we kind of butt heads a lot. Same that complicates things.
Speaker 1: Love you, mum. If you're listening, three that.
Speaker 6: Mum doesn't know neither, but like she doesn't know that
Speaker 6: I'm doing this, but I still love you.
Speaker 1: We won't tell her, don't worry, but mine listens. We
Speaker 1: need to remind her that I love her still.
Speaker 5: Hello, Judy.
Speaker 4: With your surgery, did you guys have and you may
Speaker 4: not know this because obviously you were quite young.
Speaker 5: Did you have private health?
Speaker 4: Were there additional expenses that were incurred as a part
Speaker 4: of that that then.
Speaker 5: Added to the stress that you were experiencing.
Speaker 6: So I did have private health insurance, not me personally,
Speaker 6: but my family. Yeah, and fortunately for us the business
Speaker 6: that retrenched my father. Part of that was that we
Speaker 6: were able to keep the corporate private health insurance. Oh incredible,
Speaker 6: oh money when yeah, absolutely, the fact that he was
Speaker 6: able to negotiate that into the process. There were a
Speaker 6: few kind of out of pocket expenses afterwards because I
Speaker 6: had some complications after my surgery that required a bit
Speaker 6: more time and kind of accommodations to be made in
Speaker 6: my house. So they all came out of pocket, which
Speaker 6: my parents not like reminded me of in a sense
Speaker 6: that they blamed me for it. But it was like
Speaker 6: money's tight at the moment because we have to afford
Speaker 6: you know, disappointment that's coming up in this new bed
Speaker 6: for you.
Speaker 2: And yeah, and it's like really nice that they're being transparent,
Speaker 2: but I think in those moments sometimes they don't realize
Speaker 2: the impact of their words.
Speaker 1: Like they weren't trying to make you feel guilt or.
Speaker 2: Blame, but that's the way you took it because you're young,
Speaker 2: and you go, well, that's why we can't do other
Speaker 2: cool things.
Speaker 6: It's me Like it was things like oh, well, normally
Speaker 6: for our birthdays, we get to choose either what we
Speaker 6: want or where we want to go for dinner if
Speaker 6: we get to go out, And it was one of
Speaker 6: those times that Mum was like, look, we can't go
Speaker 6: out for birthday dinners because obviously that's more expensive than
Speaker 6: cooking it home most of the time. And she would
Speaker 6: say like, I'll still cook you whatever you want, but
Speaker 6: we just can't because we've just had to pay for this.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I ended up getting one of those like hospital beds,
Speaker 6: you know that like sit up and fold down, so spenno.
Speaker 6: So that was like they still provided for me. And
Speaker 6: you know, like, I don't want to say that I'm
Speaker 6: talking down about my parents at all.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're absolutely not. I don't think anyone listening would
Speaker 2: think that at all. It's like their circumstances were that
Speaker 2: they were like, we've got this kid, We're looking after them,
Speaker 2: We're giving.
Speaker 1: Them all our resources. Kid.
Speaker 2: Do you understand that that's why maybe in other areas
Speaker 2: we're not able to do it. It wasn't because of
Speaker 2: you or that they were doing the wrong thing, was
Speaker 2: actually because they cared to share. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 2: that's really important too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I mean I think in hindsight, as much
Speaker 6: as it was a big stressor for me, I didn't
Speaker 6: want to take away from my parents. I then became
Speaker 6: super mindful of what I was spending and what I
Speaker 6: was asking for. Yeah, but I'm also glad they told me,
Speaker 6: because otherwise I think I would have been confused. Yeah, confused, frustrated.
Speaker 2: And the alternative to that potentially could have been you
Speaker 2: feel guilty as though they were taking it off you
Speaker 2: for another reason. If you hadn't comprehended why that was happening,
Speaker 2: like oh, we had to buy a really expensive hospital bed,
Speaker 2: you'd be like, yeah, did I do something wrong? Why
Speaker 2: aren't we going out for birthday dinners? Like? Why have
Speaker 2: we taken that away? So I think it's important for
Speaker 2: you to understand context. But it's so interesting to see
Speaker 2: how children interpret the world in that way and how
Speaker 2: that impacts you now today in the way that you
Speaker 2: have your money, habits and beliefs and values, and that
Speaker 2: you haven't been spending a lot on yourself because you're like,
Speaker 2: I need to make sure that I'm holding the money
Speaker 2: that I have, which I totally understand.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I mean I've always been told that I
Speaker 6: will at some point need another surgery. So that's also
Speaker 6: just like probably would have been when I was a kid,
Speaker 6: that little voice in the back of my head being like, yeah,
Speaker 6: make sure just in case something goes wrong again.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Oh my gosh, that's so stressed.
Speaker 5: That's okay, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 4: And I know that there are a couple of other
Speaker 4: things we want to ask you about from your story,
Speaker 4: But one more thing for me, I relate to a
Speaker 4: lot of things you said because I grew up in
Speaker 4: a single income household, so I totally get that stress.
Speaker 4: Have you spoken to your mum or your dad since
Speaker 4: as an adult, because I think the thing that's really
Speaker 4: interesting is like that Harry Potter book, for example, that
Speaker 4: you still remember so dearly that she wasn't able to
Speaker 4: get that for you. I would imagine that that incident
Speaker 4: is probably burned into her brain as well. As a parent,
Speaker 4: the guilt of not being able to provide for your
Speaker 4: child something that they want, and something like a book
Speaker 4: in the scheme of things, is a relatively affordable item
Speaker 4: for most people, and it's a luxury, and that is
Speaker 4: a very privileged thing that just came out of my mouth.
Speaker 4: To say, but a twenty dollars book, for example, is
Speaker 4: more accessible than a five hundred dollars xbox or something
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 2: Totally jokes that you think in Xbox is only five
Speaker 2: hundred dollars now, Okay.
Speaker 4: But have you spoken to her or your dad since
Speaker 4: then kind of reflected on how they felt as well,
Speaker 4: or is this something you've kind of held a little
Speaker 4: close to your chest.
Speaker 6: A bit both. I've spoken to my parents about how
Speaker 6: them talking about their finances affects my I guess level
Speaker 6: of security, and about how even though I really appreciate
Speaker 6: that they took care of me and my emotional and
Speaker 6: my physical needs, I don't think that hearing about their
Speaker 6: finances is the best for my mental health. Yeah, because
Speaker 6: it is. It's like, I remember two fights that I've
Speaker 6: had with my mother, and one of them is about
Speaker 6: the Harry Potter book. The other is that she didn't
Speaker 6: like the way I did my hair. Like they're the
Speaker 6: two moments that I think about when I think about
Speaker 6: fighting with my mom.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Okay, we're getting.
Speaker 6: Better at it now. Like they're in a much better
Speaker 6: financial situation. They're both stably full time employed. They've recently
Speaker 6: been able to renovate their house, which is really exciting.
Speaker 6: So we're talking more about that and about you know,
Speaker 6: how they had to reconsolidate their loans and take out
Speaker 6: a new mortgage for the renovation. And we're able to
Speaker 6: have those conversations now, Yeah, but we don't really talk
Speaker 6: about the before times or.
Speaker 5: You know, yeah, the impact that it had on you
Speaker 5: when you were younger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think that's fair, Like it's just a
Speaker 2: place you don't need to go sometimes.
Speaker 6: And like they know that I struggled with it, but
Speaker 6: they were struggling with it too, and I think there's
Speaker 6: a lot that I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, of course, now there's a.
Speaker 6: Lot to that story that they wouldn't have told me.
Speaker 6: And I was the oldest of us kids. So yeah,
Speaker 6: I think we've just both agreed that we'll just be
Speaker 6: more mindful about how we talk about each other's financial
Speaker 6: situation in the future.
Speaker 2: I like that you can have that conversation with your
Speaker 2: parents though. How many people can say I've had an open,
Speaker 2: honest conversation about the way I have money conversations in
Speaker 2: my family, Like no one can say that.
Speaker 1: That is so elp.
Speaker 5: I love that very very healthy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very healthy, knowing boundaries, understanding them, and also just
Speaker 2: respecting them.
Speaker 1: Like, what is that about? I love that.
Speaker 4: So the other big thing I guess that you touched
Speaker 4: on before money, dirist, is that you paid off your
Speaker 4: car because you received a lump some payment following being
Speaker 4: a victim of a crime, which really, disappointingly is more common,
Speaker 4: I think than people would maybe necessarily realize. So I
Speaker 4: just wanted to chat with you a little bit, and
Speaker 4: of course only share as much as little as you're
Speaker 4: comfortable with, but just about what happened, how that payment worked,
Speaker 4: and I'd love to know how you felt about that
Speaker 4: as well, because I think that's a really unique way
Speaker 4: to receive money that potentially could be tied to some
Speaker 4: icky feelings for you which would have been hard to handle.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So, while I was on placement as a student nurse,
Speaker 6: I went out with some friends one night and was
Speaker 6: a I am a survivor of sexual assault, which happened
Speaker 6: when I was out that night, And part of that
Speaker 6: process when you are sexually assaulted is you can get
Speaker 6: referred to a sexual assault support service, which is based
Speaker 6: out of kind of the big metropolitan hospitals in the regions.
Speaker 6: So I went and spoken to a counselor and had
Speaker 6: a lot to work through, understandably, of course, but because
Speaker 6: I was on placement, there was some talk about me
Speaker 6: not finishing my degree because you have to make a
Speaker 6: certain number of hours, and I was a bit stressed
Speaker 6: and didn't really think that I was, of course in
Speaker 6: the bestmental space to go and care for other people.
Speaker 6: So the council that I was speaking to said, hey,
Speaker 6: there's this way that you can apply for. I don't
Speaker 6: really know exactly what they called it, but it's like
Speaker 6: a hardship fund where you write in and you say,
Speaker 6: I have been a victim of a crime. This is
Speaker 6: affecting my life. I would like some funds to help
Speaker 6: support me. It's meant to cover all sorts of things,
Speaker 6: so like going to and from your counseling appointments, if
Speaker 6: you have to go to court and park at the
Speaker 6: courthouse and that's expensive, or just like to live your
Speaker 6: life still, you know, yeah, because it can have a
Speaker 6: big impact on you. Fortunately, the assailants in my crime
Speaker 6: pled guilty, so I didn't have to go to court
Speaker 6: and testify, which.
Speaker 2: Is wow, great, that's so rare, Like I am so
Speaker 2: happy that that was the situation for you, But for
Speaker 2: a lot of people who are like, oh, I was
Speaker 2: in that situation, for them to plead guilty and actually
Speaker 2: get to the stage of court like that is so rare.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I mean, I'm going to say I was fortunate,
Speaker 6: but that's probably not.
Speaker 1: The You're not fortunate. We won't be using that word,
Speaker 1: my friend.
Speaker 6: No, But I was fortunate that the crime was on tape,
Speaker 6: so it was caught by so there was no ifs
Speaker 6: ands or butts about it. The only thing I had
Speaker 6: to do was identify the people involved.
Speaker 4: Who it was, and then deal with the trauma that
Speaker 4: your experience. Because you said before that that money is
Speaker 4: there for what you need it, and I'm really glad
Speaker 4: that that fund didn't have any I guess caveats and
Speaker 4: what you could use it for, because when you're a
Speaker 4: victim of something like that, or when you're involved in
Speaker 4: any kind of personal tragedy, I think people who haven't
Speaker 4: experienced it might underestimate the impact that that could have
Speaker 4: on your ability to just do simple day to day things.
Speaker 4: And it's a big ask for someone to experience something
Speaker 4: like that and then just go back to work or
Speaker 4: go back to UNI.
Speaker 6: Like, Yeah, at the time, I worked at as what
Speaker 6: we call an assistant in nursing, so it's like you're
Speaker 6: not registered, but you go and you do like the
Speaker 6: bed baths and you keep patients company and you know,
Speaker 6: help out with mobilization and stuff like that. Yeah, but
Speaker 6: I wasn't in the right head.
Speaker 1: Space to go, absolutely not.
Speaker 6: So some of that money went towards kind of covering
Speaker 6: my bills and things like that, the therapy that I
Speaker 6: was going to as well. When I did feel better
Speaker 6: to go back and finish that placement, it was a
Speaker 6: rural and remote placement, so I used the money to
Speaker 6: pay for a single accommodation.
Speaker 5: Oh good.
Speaker 6: The time that I went, I was staying in a
Speaker 6: hostel and that kind of crowded culture wasn't something that
Speaker 6: I was quite ready for after the assault.
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not, So I.
Speaker 6: Paid for a hotel room with the money, and then yeah,
Speaker 6: what I had left over, I went, what will make
Speaker 6: me less stressed right now?
Speaker 1: No debt?
Speaker 6: Yeah exactly, so I could use all my mental energy
Speaker 6: on kind of working through that event and getting back
Speaker 6: to graduating, and my life after that was all over back.
Speaker 1: To where it should have been. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: What incredible clarity from you in that moment to be
Speaker 4: able to step back and say this is what I
Speaker 4: need right now and that's okay. You are incredibly impressive
Speaker 4: and so strong, and thank you for sharing that with us,
Speaker 4: like that's a big thing to share. And I'm so
Speaker 4: grateful that you were really candid with us in our
Speaker 4: community because we know the statistics say it's so much
Speaker 4: more common than it ever should be, and it's really
Speaker 4: really appalling. So I have no doubt that there will
Speaker 4: be people listening to this relating to it, as much
Speaker 4: as I wish that they weren't.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean they talk about the percentage and the
Speaker 6: people that go through this, and you don't really want
Speaker 6: to be part of the percent but at least you
Speaker 6: know that our country has a lot of free and
Speaker 6: financial support for victims that have gone through these sort
Speaker 6: of things, and some of the therapy was free. So
Speaker 6: I guess to anyone that's listening and that has gone
Speaker 6: through that and is struggling to access mental health care,
Speaker 6: it could be something to look into.
Speaker 4: And we'll definitely pop some resources in the show notes
Speaker 4: for anybody who needs to access that for themselves or
Speaker 4: for somebody that they love absolutely.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing that. Unfortunately, I do.
Speaker 2: Think that that is all we have time for today.
Speaker 2: So thank you for taking the time and yeah, hanging
Speaker 2: out with us and sharing some really intimate details about
Speaker 2: your life and your finances and your history and how
Speaker 2: you've gotten to be where you are today. I know
Speaker 2: our community absolutely appreciates it.
Speaker 6: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4: If I shared on shees on the money is generally
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