Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: your host, Georgie Stevenson. I am a lawyer, tend health coach,
Speaker 1: social media influencer, wife and dogmam. On the Rise and
Speaker 1: Conquer Podcast, we dive deep into all things mindset, habits, career, health,
Speaker 1: relationships and more. This is a podcast for women who
Speaker 1: want to rise up to be the best version of themselves,
Speaker 1: who have big dreams in who are willing to put
Speaker 1: in the work to get there. I want to bring
Speaker 1: you the tools and actionable steps to feel confident in yourself,
Speaker 1: inspired to take bold action, and motivated to conquer your goals.
Speaker 1: Are you with me, your friends, Let's rise and conquer.
Speaker 2: Hi, guys, welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast.
Speaker 2: It is your host, Georgie Stevenson. So today we are
Speaker 2: getting into the whole self comparison and I want to
Speaker 2: talk to you guys just some tools that I use
Speaker 2: personally to stop comparing myself to others and to flex
Speaker 2: that self love muscle that I know we all have.
Speaker 2: And the reason why this has come up and I
Speaker 2: wanted to talk to you guys about this is I
Speaker 2: at the start of the week have experienced some mad
Speaker 2: feelings of comparing myself to others, which made me feel
Speaker 2: really uncomfortable because I thought this was something I already
Speaker 2: dealt with, and obviously, not comparing your others and self
Speaker 2: love and self acceptance is not a final destination. It
Speaker 2: is something that we have to constantly work on. So
Speaker 2: let's back it up a little bit. I am currently
Speaker 2: in Sydney, which is in our flight from my hometown Brisbane.
Speaker 2: I'm down here on a business slash work trip. I'm
Speaker 2: here with a brand called jym Shark, which I collaborate with.
Speaker 2: I suppose you would call me an ambassador or athlete
Speaker 2: or that sort of thing, and they're an amazing brand.
Speaker 3: They are an online.
Speaker 2: Active way company if you don't know who they are,
Speaker 2: and they put on these pop up stores where you
Speaker 2: can come and you can shop, and they also fly
Speaker 2: in certain athletes that they have under the brand and
Speaker 2: people get a chance to meet them. So I'm doing
Speaker 2: that this weekend. It is currently Friday, and I've actually
Speaker 2: been in Sydney all week because it's pretty cool. They
Speaker 2: fly you in the week before and we've actually just
Speaker 2: been doing a lot of team stuff. So we did
Speaker 2: a team photo shoot with the other Aussie athletes. I
Speaker 2: met all the American and the UK, and there's even
Speaker 2: athletes here from Canada. So it's been a really cool week.
Speaker 2: But and this is me just being totally real and
Speaker 2: raw and honest with you guys. So I'll paint a
Speaker 2: little picture for you. At the start of the week.
Speaker 2: The first day was a photo shoot day, and this
Speaker 2: was with the other Bussy athletes, and I was with
Speaker 2: this other girl. Her name's Morgan, shout out to Morgan,
Speaker 2: and she is an amazing handstander and gymnastic girl. She
Speaker 2: does handstands and gymnastic and she can bend and flip
Speaker 2: and do these really cool things. And she's obviously beautiful,
Speaker 2: has an amazing body. She's really cool. Also, she's one
Speaker 2: of those girls who can hang with the guys, and
Speaker 2: she has so much confidence and she's just really cool.
Speaker 2: I was like straight away attracted to her personality. So
Speaker 2: she was there and she was lovely, and then all
Speaker 2: the guys were there, and a lot of the guys
Speaker 2: can do cool stuff like flips and handstands and all
Speaker 2: that sort of stuff, so it was really cool. So
Speaker 2: the first day we did the lifestyle shoot and then
Speaker 2: we also went clar diving. So because these guys are
Speaker 2: like extroverted and adrenaline junkies, I swear, and so they're like,
Speaker 2: let's go cliff diving, and I was.
Speaker 3: Like sure, and so I did it.
Speaker 2: And I totally went cliff diving because I honestly felt
Speaker 2: like I had to prove myself because I just have
Speaker 2: no mad skills like they did.
Speaker 3: And so we did that and it was a really
Speaker 3: amazing day.
Speaker 2: But something I did notice, and it's really weird, because
Speaker 2: I have done a lot of work on myself and
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm really confident and I'm really secure
Speaker 2: in the way that I feel about myself and who
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 3: But it's really weird.
Speaker 2: I kept having these feelings of comparing myself to these
Speaker 2: amazing people and basically feeling like they were better than me,
Speaker 2: and I was less because I couldn't do these amazing
Speaker 2: handstands or stuff like that. Something I did notice I
Speaker 2: was comparing myself a lot with is I'm actually, at
Speaker 2: heart a bit of an introvert. So even though I
Speaker 2: can get on you Tube and Instagram and I have
Speaker 2: a really bubbly personality, I definitely get my energy from
Speaker 2: not necessarily being alone. But I'm just not extroverted. So
Speaker 2: I can definitely bring a presence and have a bubbly personality.
Speaker 2: I'm just not overly extroverted, and I'm.
Speaker 3: A little bit shy. I'm not gonna lie. These people.
Speaker 3: They're all either really big.
Speaker 2: On Instagram or YouTube or just have really big presence
Speaker 2: and you could really tell it in their personalities. So
Speaker 2: I was feeling like I kept comparing myself to these
Speaker 2: amazing people, and I kept telling myself because I couldn't
Speaker 2: do these cool skills, I.
Speaker 3: Wasn't a real athlete.
Speaker 2: And because I wasn't extroverted and really out there and
Speaker 2: bobbly and loud, I wasn't good enough. And it's really
Speaker 2: weird because I would feel these feelings and I was
Speaker 2: just kind of pushing them down and ignoring them because
Speaker 2: I kept saying to myself, like, when are you doing
Speaker 2: your job? You're confident, you're secure, you love yourself, it's
Speaker 2: all good. Why are you even thinking like this? So
Speaker 2: I just push the feelings down because you know, when
Speaker 2: you feel feelings and you maybe act a different way.
Speaker 2: I didn't want that to happen because this is my
Speaker 2: bonding time with these amazing people, So I pushed the
Speaker 2: feelings aside when I got back to my room later on,
Speaker 2: and just a couple of days later, I think the
Speaker 2: next day I had a free day, I sort of
Speaker 2: just sat with them. And at first I was really
Speaker 2: annoyed at myself. Like I said, I would consider myself
Speaker 2: very confident and someone who doesn't compare themselves to others
Speaker 2: and feel less or anything like that.
Speaker 3: So I was.
Speaker 2: Annoyed that I was even feeling these feelings. But I
Speaker 2: decided to sort of just sit with them, and I
Speaker 2: have a couple of tools that I do use when
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm comparing myself to others and it's
Speaker 2: affecting me, And so I went through a couple of
Speaker 2: these tools, and after that, I felt so much better
Speaker 2: and I was just like, oh, almost like a relief
Speaker 2: went through me and I was like, oh, it's all good.
Speaker 2: And then the next couple days, I didn't think once
Speaker 2: about comparing myself to someone else or feeling less than
Speaker 2: because someone had this amazing skill or something different to
Speaker 2: what I have. So I just wanted to go through
Speaker 2: some of the tools I use when I'm feeling that
Speaker 2: self comparison creeping in because I know you guys may
Speaker 2: feel this feeling too, and it's really easy.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, guys. On a side note, this is
Speaker 3: so funny.
Speaker 2: Obviously I'm a podcast so you can't see me, but
Speaker 2: I'm sitting here at the protail desk in my room
Speaker 2: and I'm like, my hands are going everywhere because I
Speaker 2: just like to speak.
Speaker 3: My hands and anyway, so hard to note.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so I just wanted to go through some
Speaker 2: stuff that I went through to make myself feel better.
Speaker 2: I know that self comparison it can just sort of
Speaker 2: creep in, even if you are a very confident and
Speaker 2: self aware person. It is so easy. It's especially easy
Speaker 2: on these days with social media and all you see
Speaker 2: is mostlyeople's highlight wheels and these perfect lives, so it's
Speaker 2: very easy to fall in this comparison trap. So I
Speaker 2: don't think I'm even going to go too much into
Speaker 2: the social media side of things. I have dealt a
Speaker 2: lot with that, and I don't compare myself to anyone
Speaker 2: on social media these days anymore because I worked through
Speaker 2: a lot of that previously. It was so shocking to
Speaker 2: me because I have done a lot of work on that,
Speaker 2: and then to feel these feelings in person with other people.
Speaker 3: I just haven't really.
Speaker 2: Felt like that before, so I was just a bit
Speaker 2: blown away, and it was actually good because it did
Speaker 2: make me realize that we have to be constantly working
Speaker 2: on ourselves and constantly practing self love and self compassion
Speaker 2: on ourselves. So anyway, let's get into it. I did
Speaker 2: want to say that don't be upset or annoyed if
Speaker 2: you are comparing yourself to others. I think it's great
Speaker 2: to sort of be self aware and apply these tools
Speaker 2: that I'm about to tell you. But something you do
Speaker 2: need to realize is comparing ourselves to others is a
Speaker 2: natural instinct. If you think about it, back in prehistoric times,
Speaker 2: it would be our natural instinct to analyze others and
Speaker 2: identify possible threats and that sort of thing. So we
Speaker 2: would be constantly comparing ourselves to others back in prehistoric times.
Speaker 3: But I guess it's super.
Speaker 2: Hard in this day and time because we do have
Speaker 2: things like social media and these highlight reels, and it's
Speaker 2: very easy to fall in the self comparison trap. Okay,
Speaker 2: so one of the first tools I use I think about,
Speaker 2: instead of comparing myself to this person, that I'm comparing
Speaker 2: myself to I compare myself to who I am today
Speaker 2: to who I was yesterday.
Speaker 3: Or in the past.
Speaker 2: And I think this is a really great mind shift
Speaker 2: because if you think about it, we are forever growing,
Speaker 2: forever learning and for other achieving different things. So instead
Speaker 2: of focusing on something that we are not because we're
Speaker 2: comparing ourself to someone else, I try and shift the
Speaker 2: mindset and I think, to myself, am I the same
Speaker 2: person that I was a year ago or even a
Speaker 2: week ago? And the answer is no, because I constantly
Speaker 2: am growing and learning and achieving, and we all are.
Speaker 2: And I think it's very easy to fall into this
Speaker 2: track where we think we're moving too slow or we're
Speaker 2: not achieving enough, because we're surrounded by a social media
Speaker 2: and these highlight reels where everyone seems like they're just
Speaker 2: killing it a life. So I think it's really important
Speaker 2: to do a bit of a mind shift and focus
Speaker 2: on yourself, block out those outside ideals that we should
Speaker 2: constantly be achieving sort of thing, and so I will
Speaker 2: look at myself and go, hey, I am learning and
Speaker 2: I am achieving things, And so I will look and
Speaker 2: celebrate my own successes rather than looking at someone else
Speaker 2: because let's be honest, you don't know how they got there,
Speaker 2: what they did to get there, You don't know any
Speaker 2: of the backstory, so you cannot compare yourself. But you
Speaker 2: do know your own backstory. You do know yourself. So
Speaker 2: if you're going to compare yourself to anyone, it should
Speaker 2: be yourself. So I like to do that. It's just
Speaker 2: a small mind shift. You think about it, and obviously,
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes we may not be in the place
Speaker 2: we want to be or progression wise, but this is
Speaker 2: where self compassion comes in. And think about the challenges
Speaker 2: that you have faced and you're still here, you're still fighting,
Speaker 2: and often we overlook those little things. So that's my
Speaker 2: first little tip. I basically went through and I was like, hey, yeah,
Speaker 2: these people are amazing, they can do amazing stuff. But
Speaker 2: also I am amazing. I've done amazing stuff, I've gone
Speaker 2: through crazy challenges and I am super proud of myself.
Speaker 2: The next thing I love to use, and this is
Speaker 2: realizing that the people that you're comparing yourself are not flawless.
Speaker 2: So I have this rule where on social media I
Speaker 2: actually unfollow anyone who if their life looks like too
Speaker 2: perfect and they don't show anything real, I will literally
Speaker 2: unfollow that person because to me, I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: need that shit in my life. I don't need that
Speaker 2: fakeness basically because to me, I want to be surrounded.
Speaker 3: By real, inspiring people.
Speaker 2: And don't get me wrong, I think it's amazing that,
Speaker 2: you know, people celebrate their achievements and they put it
Speaker 2: there highlight reel and their best movements and all that
Speaker 2: sort of thing. I think that's perfectly okay, but also
Speaker 2: make sure you're following accounts where they are also showing
Speaker 2: you their challenges, showing you the not so glamorous life.
Speaker 2: And so basically I will literally unfollow or just not
Speaker 2: associate myself with anyone else who just doesn't show that
Speaker 2: sort of thing, because I did find at one stage
Speaker 2: that was really something that.
Speaker 3: Would get to me personally.
Speaker 2: So that's another thing is you also would realize a
Speaker 2: lot that you tell people, a lot that you put
Speaker 2: on social media, we all do it. We show a
Speaker 2: highlight reel, we show the good stuff. Basically, no matter
Speaker 2: how perfect someone else seems, we all know real life
Speaker 2: is messy.
Speaker 3: Raw, and it's flawed. We all know this.
Speaker 2: So I personally like I said, don't even follow people
Speaker 2: accounts that don't you anything like that. But it's just
Speaker 2: common knowledge that people are not perfect. You've just got
Speaker 2: to realize that. And that's actually another thing this week
Speaker 2: being with these amazing people throughout the week. Like I said,
Speaker 2: I've been here since Monday, and I got to know
Speaker 2: more of their life more in depth, and they have
Speaker 2: been through challenges. There's definitely non glamorous things about their lives.
Speaker 2: And so when we see people initially and we first
Speaker 2: talked to them, or we first see them on Instagram
Speaker 2: or social media, you need to take that with a
Speaker 2: grain of salt and make sure you are refreshing your
Speaker 2: mind and telling yourself.
Speaker 3: No one has the perfect life.
Speaker 2: There's always going to be messiness behind closed doors, and
Speaker 2: that's okay, and we all know that. So basically realizing
Speaker 2: that what you may be comparing yourself to, they will
Speaker 2: have their own challenges and they will have their own issues,
Speaker 2: so it's okay, there's not even any point of comparing
Speaker 2: yourself to that person because they have challenges, they have
Speaker 2: issues too. Okay, this is the last little tool I'm
Speaker 2: going to give you guys, and this is probably my favorite,
Speaker 2: So I probably listened to it on a podcast or
Speaker 2: I've read it somewhere, and it said, when you have
Speaker 2: a feeling, you only actually feel it for ninety seconds
Speaker 2: and then it passes.
Speaker 3: And I just remember being like mind blown by that.
Speaker 2: But then since I've been aware of it, I could
Speaker 2: not agree more So something that I like to do
Speaker 2: and something that I definitely did this week when I
Speaker 2: brought up these feelings, like I said, like push them down,
Speaker 2: and then I brought them up again in my room.
Speaker 2: And I really love the practice of affirmations. So affirmations
Speaker 2: are basically just like sentences and words you say, I
Speaker 2: personally say them out loud and you just repeat and
Speaker 2: you probably don't believe them at the start, but you
Speaker 2: honestly just repeat them enough until you almost believe them.
Speaker 2: And basically, an affirmation is just like the action or
Speaker 2: the process of affirming something. So you are affirming something
Speaker 2: to yourself. So basically what I do and will call
Speaker 2: this tool like basically you are loving and you're accepting
Speaker 2: yourself as you are right now. And if you think
Speaker 2: about it, this little voice in your head that tells
Speaker 2: you that you're not good enough to this person or
Speaker 2: anything like that, it's a natural instinct, and it's basically
Speaker 2: yourself identifying areas where you think you may be falling behind,
Speaker 2: and it can be really cruel to yourself. So basically
Speaker 2: what I do is I just accept myself for who
Speaker 2: I am, and I do this amazing practice of affirmations.
Speaker 2: Something that I did at the start of the week
Speaker 2: is when I got back to my room. This is
Speaker 2: actually an affirmation that I say all the time, and
Speaker 2: I'm just in.
Speaker 3: Love with it.
Speaker 2: I think you need to find affirmations and words that
Speaker 2: really speak to you and you feel a motive when
Speaker 2: you say them or hear them, Otherwise it's not really
Speaker 2: going to work personally. This sentence really speaks to me,
Speaker 2: and so I've always used it, and so I use
Speaker 2: the affirmation no one is me and that is my power.
Speaker 2: So I will sit there, I make sure it's silent,
Speaker 2: I turn my phone on airplane mode, and I sit
Speaker 2: there kind of like I'm meditating, and I will say
Speaker 2: to myself, no one is me and that is my power.
Speaker 2: And I will say it for around two minutes. I
Speaker 2: go off that ninety second and it's basically until I
Speaker 2: feel the feeling of comparing myself and jealousy and not
Speaker 2: feeling good enough to pass through me. And then I
Speaker 2: stop saying it. So I'll sit there and I'll say,
Speaker 2: no one is me and that is my power. No
Speaker 2: one is me and that is my power. No one
Speaker 2: is me and that is my power. And honestly, guys,
Speaker 2: after I feel that sort of feeling go through me,
Speaker 2: it's like this sense of relief and I always feel
Speaker 2: so much better. And I just love that saying, like
Speaker 2: it is so true accepting yourself and realizing that your
Speaker 2: imperfections and what you are makes up you and that
Speaker 2: is your superpower. Like that is your power. And so
Speaker 2: even though I'm looking at what I am not and
Speaker 2: what I wish, maybe I could be taking it back
Speaker 2: and really talking to myself and being like, I am
Speaker 2: so special. Everyone is so different and how amazing is that? Like, honestly,
Speaker 2: imagine how boring life would be if we were all
Speaker 2: the same. No one is you and that is your power.
Speaker 2: That is what makes you you. That is what makes
Speaker 2: you special, and you need to embrace it. And honestly,
Speaker 2: it's taking me years to embrace it, but I finally
Speaker 2: am and it feels good.
Speaker 3: And when I.
Speaker 2: Say that affirmation to myself. Like I said, it just
Speaker 2: honestly transforms the way I'm feeling and it just makes
Speaker 2: me feel so much better. And it's like I just
Speaker 2: I need to say it, and then I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm all good now. And then basically I use some
Speaker 2: of those tools. Honestly, it was mostly the last one.
Speaker 2: I did want to include the other two tools just
Speaker 2: because I use them also, But after that I felt
Speaker 2: such a sense of relief. And then I noticed the
Speaker 2: whole entire week, I met way more athlete and new
Speaker 2: people and I did not compare myself once. That's just
Speaker 2: to me, I'm like wow, because that's how I usually
Speaker 2: feel like. I usually feel like confident, and basically I've
Speaker 2: done the sort of self work where I have just
Speaker 2: loved and accepted myself and I.
Speaker 3: Love being in that place.
Speaker 2: And so it really upset me and I was annoyed
Speaker 2: at myself when I felt those feelings of I wouldn't
Speaker 2: say jealousy, but I just definitely was comparing myself and
Speaker 2: I was feeling less.
Speaker 3: Because of it.
Speaker 2: And it did make me realize that confidence and self
Speaker 2: acceptance and self love is definitely a muscle. As I say, like,
Speaker 2: it's something that you constantly have to be working on.
Speaker 2: It's not an end destination, and I think it's just
Speaker 2: really good to realize that. And I think it definitely
Speaker 2: does get easier. Like I said, I don't usually feel
Speaker 2: that way, but I don't think it ever just completely
Speaker 2: goes away. These feelings will creep back in every now
Speaker 2: and again in situations. This is why you have these
Speaker 2: tools that I've just spoke about, and make sure you
Speaker 2: sort of seeing like it really depends what sort of
Speaker 2: makes you feel a certain emotion, So try them out,
Speaker 2: have a little play. What works for me won't necessarily
Speaker 2: work for you, but you will sort of realize as
Speaker 2: you are more aware of them and you have a
Speaker 2: feel for them and all that sort of stuff. So
Speaker 2: I think it definitely gets easier, but it definitely doesn't
Speaker 2: go away. So make sure you are utilizing these sorts
Speaker 2: of tools. And I think another thing is I think
Speaker 2: it's great to be okay with these feelings. Like I said,
Speaker 2: I was almost like a bit annoyed at myself for
Speaker 2: feeling like this, but then I was like, you've got
Speaker 2: to practice self compassion and be like, oh, it's okay.
Speaker 2: I know you've done the work and I know you
Speaker 2: think you're really confident and you love yourself and you've
Speaker 2: practiced self love and all that sort of thing. And
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean I'm going backwards. It means I'm only human.
Speaker 2: It means I'm only human for feeling these feelings and
Speaker 2: it's okay. So I am gonna wrap this up. This
Speaker 2: was just like a short and sweet episode. I love
Speaker 2: talking to you guys about stuff that I'm currently experiencing.
Speaker 2: I just feel like it just feels better for me,
Speaker 2: and I feel like this is definitely something that you
Speaker 2: guys could probably resonate with, and I felt it could
Speaker 2: help you because, like I said previously, I've definitely dealt
Speaker 2: with a lot of feelings of feeling less and just
Speaker 2: constantly comparing myself and it's a really crappy feeling. So
Speaker 2: I hope if you ever feel like this, or if
Speaker 2: you're currently feeling like this, make sure you are using
Speaker 2: these tools, seeing what works for you, and just putting
Speaker 2: an even into your daily practice and seeing how you go.
Speaker 2: I personally like to say affirmations every single day, not
Speaker 2: necessarily when.
Speaker 3: I'm just feeling that emotion.
Speaker 2: I like to say them every single day, even when
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like really good, and I don't necessarily need them,
Speaker 2: because I think it's really great your affirmations with affirming things.
Speaker 2: So I think it's really great to use them, not
Speaker 2: just necessarily when you need them or in negative or
Speaker 2: bad times, but just to be constantly using them even
Speaker 2: in the positive times, and I feel like it just
Speaker 2: gets easier and it just feels better. So I am
Speaker 2: going to wrap this episode up now, and I hope
Speaker 2: this resonated with you. If this did, If you like
Speaker 2: this episode, make sure that you screenshot check it on
Speaker 2: your story, tag Rise and Conquer Dot podcast Instagram and
Speaker 2: tag me if you want at Georgie Stevenson and I
Speaker 2: love to repost anything that you put up. And also,
Speaker 2: if you think that like a friend, like a girlfriend,
Speaker 2: or any family maybe needs this little pep talk I'll
Speaker 2: call it, make sure you pass on this episode to
Speaker 2: them because that would be really lovely.
Speaker 3: And sharing these sorts of.
Speaker 2: Messages with people you love who may need it could
Speaker 2: literally change that day, so make sure you do that too.
Speaker 2: I hope you have a lovely day or night whenever
Speaker 2: you're listening to this, and I will talk to you
Speaker 2: guys soon.
Speaker 3: Bye now.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening in. If you like
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Speaker 1: Conquer podcast so you don't miss the next one. Also,
Speaker 1: if you found this podcast valuable, it would mean the
Speaker 1: absolute world to me if you wrote the podcast a review. Plus,
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Speaker 1: you want to go beyond this episode, check out our
Speaker 1: official instagram at Riseinconquer dot podcast or my personal instagram
Speaker 1: at Georgie Stevenson. I hope you have an amazing day
Speaker 1: or night whenever you're listening in. Bye for now, and
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon.
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