WEBVTT - Forgive and Forget 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.480 My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:07.440 and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on Diric Land. I'd 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:10.959 like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.680 land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago, 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:18.160 in particular the Cama, Eagle and Uruanderie people whose land 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:21.200 this podcast was recorded on, and we extend our respect 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:25.160 to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:28.280 storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.760 we pay homage to when we tell our stories on 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:31.440 Find and Tell. 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:36.960 Hello, I'm Jamila Risby. 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:39.839 Welcome back to Find and Tell, the search for the 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:44.960 next generation of Australian storytellers. Each week, our storytellers go 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:47.320 head to head to see who finds and tells the 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:50.800 best story, and every win brings them a step closer 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:54.320 to being crowned the Find and Tell Champion and winning 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:59.840 the grand prize. We've now met all four of our storytellers, Mark, Naar, 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.120 Kate and Ben and the competition. 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:03.880 Is starting to heat up. 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:06.880 Honestly, I have been blown away by the quality of 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.440 the stories that each of them has created so far. 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:14.000 It's genuinely incredible when you remember that they have never made. 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:15.399 Anything like this before. 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.640 Okay, so far Mark and Ben have each taken home 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:20.959 a win that we. 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:21.880 Are far from finished. 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:27.080 Today we have a new theme, Forgive and Forget. First 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:28.600 up to tackle the challenge is Mark. 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:30.080 When we last. 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.919 Heard from Mark, he told a really beautiful story about 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:34.640 spirituality and sexuality. 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:39.080 Let's see what story he can find for us this time. Mark, 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:40.600 welcome back to find and tell. 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:42.520 I am so excited to be back. 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.480 Okay, we've done this. We've done this once. It's out 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:48.560 in the world. So you've had that feeling of it's 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.240 about to happen, and it's happened. 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:51.600 You're ready to go again. 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:52.480 I'm so ready. 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.600 I think you're ready too. This week's theme is forgive 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:59.280 and Forget, so we're not we're not pulling any punches 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.960 forgiven forget. What was your first reaction when you saw 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:03.000 that written on the page? 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:06.160 Oh my goodness, I fell to the ground. I was sobbing. 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:06.400 No. 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:11.400 I you know, it's such an interesting topic, interesting theme, 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:14.560 and I think something that a lot of maybe new 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:17.400 adults are experiencing, or just anyone in any stage of 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:19.960 their life, you know, having to let go is such 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:24.040 a hard thing. Having to feel your emotions and go 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:28.320 through them is so difficult. So I so many thoughts 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:29.840 came into my mind when I got the theme. But 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.360 I'm excited with how it turned out. I'm so happy 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:33.200 with how it turned out. 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:33.680 All right. 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:37.120 Well, without further ado, let's hear your second story on 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.280 the theme of forgive and forget, Let's go. 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:45.840 There are many moments in Australian television history that had 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:49.919 the whole country unbaited breath. We had Kathy Freeman's golden 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:53.440 run in the two thousand Olympics to the Tillies penalty 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.919 shootout against France. But back in two thousand and three, 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:59.320 all eyes were on Australian idol. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:01.200 Has My the Decision? 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:07.720 The live Grand final amassed over three million viewers. 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:12.280 The winner of Australie Not in Gossip s. 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.840 The debut season alone, tore through our country's music industry, 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:22.320 setting a new standard and method for the attainment of 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:27.080 musical fame. If you were too young to remember, idle 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:30.720 Mania had Australia in a chokehold. This wasn't your run 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:33.880 of the mill reality TV show. This was why two 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:38.960 K stardom. It was glitz and glamour and fame and fortune, 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:43.880 and the contestants became instant superstars. The series itself had 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.800 produced some of Australia's biggest names in the music industry 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:53.240 Jessica Mowboy, Riki Lee, Matt Korby Milsey. But one contestant 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:56.160 has lived in the back of my mind since I 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.560 was just eight years old at the time. But I 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:02.960 still remember that one feetful night in two thousand and three, 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:06.360 hundreds and thousands of Ossie families gathered around their boxy 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:11.800 TVs and tenas tuned to Channel ten, hearts pounding brows, sweating, 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:13.080 palms clenched. 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:21.240 However, Cosma rescently that you would like to say, I'd like. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:26.200 To thank all my supporters and the Australian public for 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:30.240 believing in me. I've been extremely humbled by the support 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:31.000 that you have shown me. 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:35.919 Where were you the night Costumer Divito withdrew from Australian Idol. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:40.600 Unfortunately, I have a temporary condition that's affecting my voice. 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:44.240 It's forced me to make the decision to leave the competition. 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:51.279 It was the worst case scenario. Costumer Divito, the singer 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:55.640 adored by everyone, was pulling out of the competition just 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.960 as she was becoming an unstoppable force. Australian Idol is 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.200 once in a lifetime opportunity, and all these years later, 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:06.400 I still think about it and I think about Costomer. 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:08.279 Where is she now? 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:12.800 It's so hot, isn't it? Oh my god today? Are 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:15.200 you okay? You look like you're sweating as well. 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.240 Yes, my gorgeous, beautiful sheen because I've got to shut 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:22.760 off the fan for the recording purposes. That's showbiz, baby, 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:27.839 I know, I know, yes, that is the Costomer de Vito, 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:32.000 the legend herself. It was her husky, deep voice that 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:35.599 caught everyone's attention. During the very first season of Australian Idol. 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.440 She was so popular that she was brought back as 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:40.560 a wild card after an early knockout. 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:43.280 When I came back as a world card and then 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:45.520 I got into top twelve, it was like go go, Go, 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:45.839 go go. 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:50.440 However, a hefty run of Belty ballads soon caught up 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:51.839 to the twenty six year old. 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:57.320 This has been the most difficult decision of my life. 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.320 But I'm not sure that I'm going to be able 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.720 to give one and that my voice is gonna hold up. 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:06.520 Costomer still remembers the point in the competition where her 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:08.720 voice started to slip away. 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.640 And then every week I was noticing, what's happening with 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:13.000 my voice is getting really deep. It was there, but 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:15.599 it was just deeper and deeper and deeper. It was 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:17.400 vocal nodules. 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:24.000 This is every singer's nightmare. Vocal nodules are benign folds 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:26.960 and lesions that can sometimes grow on your vocal chords. 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:31.440 It affects both your singing and speaking voice, drastically changing 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:34.920 your natural vocal tone. Amidst her rise up the ranks, 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:38.200 Cossomo was sent to a doctor who soon confirmed various 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:40.920 small nodual growths caused by vocal overuse. 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:46.000 You either rest it or you keep going and they 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:47.719 get hard and then you have to have surgery. 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:51.920 And as soon as you said surgery, I'm like Julie Andrews. 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:56.359 Julie Andrews, the songbird slash actress from the famed Sound 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:00.799 of Music, had surgery to remove vocal nodules in ninety nine. 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:03.800 A routine procedure that I was told would not be 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:05.279 threatening to my vocal cords. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.880 The procedure scarred her vocal cords and she was never 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:13.920 able to sing the same again. So at this point, 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:18.360 Costumer was at a crossroads. She was given an ultimatum, 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:22.240 leave the competition and heal, or push on and risk 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:23.720 injuring herself permanently. 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:26.600 No, we're not doing that. It was hard. It was hard. 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.040 I was crying when I was reading that speech. 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:32.840 And again, a big, big kiss and hugs to everyone 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:36.040 who's supported me. You have humbled me and I'm forever 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:39.560 grateful for what you've done. 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:47.679 For Costomer, running the risk of losing her voice forever 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.520 was not an option. In the end, she decided to 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:55.080 leave Australian Idol to enter a course of recovery that 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.640 would get her back on track, but off the winning one. 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:02.480 Costumer was a fan favorite and many thought she would win, 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:05.400 but then her world fell apart, and her hopes and 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:08.040 aspirations for her singing career soon followed. 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.040 Because in that moment, you just feel like your whole 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:13.760 world is crumbling. That's what it felt like in that moment. 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:18.760 That was extremely difficult. The day after I withdrew, I 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.320 remember I had to hide out in the hotel because 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:25.000 all the media, it was such a hype after I left, 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.440 and for me, I felt like I had lost an opportunity. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:33.480 The year after Idole was the hardest for Customer. The 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:35.960 songshis that hit an all time low, and with her 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:38.840 future up in the air, she struggled with her sense 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:39.240 of self. 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:45.640 It took a good year, I think before my head 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.840 was on straight. But even then, a lot of reflection, 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:52.720 a lot of mourning. I wasn't able to watch any 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:57.040 singing competition for years, and then that whole year I 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:00.000 had this paranoia that they were going to come back. 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:04.400 So every time I sang as a psychological component that 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.000 comes with it also because you feel, oh my god, it's. 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:08.280 Going to come back again. I'm going to lose my 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:08.880 voice again. 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.280 The series finale had taken center stage and for a 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:20.280 period of time, Costomer was nowhere to be found. While 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:22.920 everyone wondered where she had gone, the show moved on 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.200 without her, and she used this moment of quiet to 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:28.920 find herself and her voice again. 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:31.720 As soon as I got off the show, it was like, Okay, 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:37.120 I'm in India, Now what's my next step? And that's 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:38.840 when I went, you know what, I had to be 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:42.560 part of the Idol tour. I had to start speech therapy, 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:44.880 so I was doing that twice a week. I was 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:48.400 going to a vocal coach who was familiar with singers 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.600 who had nodules, and it was just rehabilitation. It was 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:56.600 just hardcore rehabilitation, no singing, just working on getting it 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:57.880 back to where it was. 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:03.400 Costomer threw herself into recovery. While she couldn't win this series, 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.839 she hit back stronger during the Top twelve tour. The 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:10.200 two thousand and four concert was Costumer's return to the 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.800 Australian Idol stage and in their opening group number, she 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:27.240 was back as a crowd favorite. So after all this, 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:32.680 where is the diva? Now? What about Costomer? Having recently 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.719 dropped a duet with Nolsey, the indie artist has hot 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:37.320 plans for her music ventures. 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:40.280 It's a project that I've been working on since last year. 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:43.360 I can't say too much at the moment, but I'll 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.640 be touring towards the end of the year and it's 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:48.840 very exciting and you need to come. I promise, I 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:53.800 promise you'll love it. I promise, but I'm very excited 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:54.280 about it. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:57.440 While there was a hard decision leaving Idol, there was 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:01.120 no other choice. She took the route that in short, 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:03.120 she would be able to keep singing for the rest 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:06.680 of her life. This was simply a hurdle, one that 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.960 she triumphantly conquered with a lot of time and care. 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:14.400 I love my power ballads. The depressing power ballads are 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:17.160 my thing. I think that's the Italian in me. When 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:19.560 you sing an Italian and you sing an Italian ballad, 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:21.720 it's very different to when you do it in English, 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:25.559 just just so much more passionate, and you know the 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.040 words and the lyrics. 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:29.679 It's just different. I absolutely love it, love it. 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:33.719 When I interviewed Costomer, I was starstruck. We share a 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.200 love for singing, and I too dreamed of being a 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:39.880 pop star. I mean, who didn't. I couldn't imagine being 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:41.679 on the rise she was on and then having to 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:45.360 let that go. When I spoke to Costomer, I was 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:48.400 taught an important life lesson and it had nothing to 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:49.200 do with music. 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:51.960 The thing I guess that got me through it was 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:55.000 just the It was the old Wise title of you 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:59.800 know everything happens for a reason, because you know, there's 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:02.160 a reason why you weren't meant to go all the way, 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.240 There's a reason why this has happened. 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:06.640 I wouldn't have met my husband, I wouldn't met my daughter. 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.040 You know, being an independent artist has been incredible. 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:13.720 I've always done what I've wanted to do. 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:17.000 Do you have a message for any fans who, even 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:21.880 twenty years on, are still heartbroken over your Australian ad 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:24.120 or verdicts? I myself included, I'm one of them. 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.280 You're gonna make me very emotional just by saying that. 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.400 I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:30.960 you from. 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.000 The bottom of my heart, even twenty one years on, 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:37.160 that you're all still standing by me. And every time 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.760 I post something, you're on social media, You're there. 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:41.480 You're supporting me. 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.800 I'm here because of you, and I used to say 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.440 that back then. Also, I'm here because you've voted for me, 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.160 because you fiercely voted for me and stood by me, 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:52.640 and you're still here today. 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:56.000 I love to sing, but the support that I get 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.920 from fans is just beautiful and it's truly truly a gift. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:01.000 It's truly a gift. 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.000 And I thank you from the bottom of my heart 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:03.839 still being here. 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:04.960 Thank you, thank you. 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:14.360 I think sometimes we put too much importance on winning. 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.840 What I used to see as a heartbreaking withdrawal, I 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.840 now see as the importance of letting go of the 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:25.040 life and a path that's simply not meant for us. Sure, 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:28.000 in life will miss some chances, but there will always 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:28.520 be others. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:30.840 The human spirit's amazing. 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:34.720 Only when you go through the lows can you really 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:38.200 learn about yourself and learn about life and how to 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:38.800 get through it. 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:40.320 Otherwise you don't learn anything. 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:42.960 You have to go through the lows, and it makes 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:45.360 you a different person on the other side of it, 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:46.480 and you wouldn't change that. 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.040 When you get to the other side, it's great. It's 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:54.320 just through the storm that's really really hard. I'm forty seven. 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:56.520 I feel like I've let a lot of things go. 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.240 When you reach forty it's just like, yeah, kay, I 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:01.520 feel like I'm still learning about myself. 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:03.520 But I am stronger. 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:05.760 I am stronger, and I do know a lot more 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:07.720 than what I did when I was twenty six years old. 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:11.520 When the time comes and the opportunities you were meant 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.400 for are come your way, there's only one thing we 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:14.839 can do. 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:24.560 We've got to rise, and that through the sky. We've 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.040 got to rise over. 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:28.960 Mountain. 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:40.680 Hey, Mark, that was super fun and wild in its 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:44.240 degree of nostalgia. Like I'm still a bit like I 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:49.320 don't think I have thought about Cosmo Divido in a 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:55.520 very long time, but I was equally Australian idol obsessed 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:56.680 that first season. 0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.360 Yes, it was iconic, it was it was it. It 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:03.680 changed the nation, it really did. It swept us away. 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:08.000 I remember borrowing my mum's phone so I could text 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.800 vote for twenty cents or whatever it costs me on 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.560 a smith. But don't let me get get stuck there. 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:17.000 I hadn't thought about her in a long time. Why 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.520 this story? Why do you still think about her? 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:24.760 So it's really interesting. This episode was meant to go 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:28.040 in a really different direction. I had some other people 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:31.200 in mind, but at its core, I really did want 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:37.280 to talk about this proximity to fame, this proximity to fortune, 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.920 to this like what many people consider to be the 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:45.680 jackpot of success, being so close and then not reaching it, 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.360 not hitting it, not winning, being second best. You know, 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.840 being seen is not good enough. And I think, I 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:55.960 think we really do just place so much weight into 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:59.880 success and into what you know, conventional success looks like, 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:02.680 when really it should be a personal thing. It really 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.280 should be an individual thing. You know, we will win 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.800 and thrive in our own ways, and it won't always 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.880 be winning season one of the streaming modol as we 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:12.800 came to find. 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:15.000 Were nervous about speaking to a cosma. 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.280 Yeah, I was a little starstruck. I was very starstark 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.000 speaking to her. But then as we eased into it, 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.160 it was like, no, we're not. This isn't an interview. 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:26.080 This is two adults having a conversation about the realities 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.760 of life and that things won't always go the way 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:31.840 that we want it to go, and how that is 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:33.600 completely fine and completely okay. 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.640 You created a great redemption arc, you know, a sense 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:41.680 of hope came through with Costomer's story. Did you have 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.240 that episode arc planned out from the beginning? Did you 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.760 know where you were going or what did it look 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:50.560 like as it sort of shifted and remolded itself. 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:52.960 I wanted it to be that she had won in 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:57.320 her own way, that she had forgiven this incredibly massive, 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:01.120 big deal that had happened to her, to forget it 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.400 in her own way, not completely disregard it, but to 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:05.920 just let go in her own way and then thrive. 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.080 I wanted that to be the third aspect of that 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:12.600 forgive and forget theme, because it just it doesn't require 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:16.040 a trophy it doesn't. Winning doesn't require a certain thing. 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:18.919 It could just be that you are content with your 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:22.119 life and loving who you are where you are now, 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.960 and understanding that there's more of a life to live 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:28.000 and that there's more to learn. And so yeah, listening 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:32.399 to customer vocalize that and speak that to existence was 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:34.040 just was so nice to hear. 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:35.440 Mark. 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.800 Congratulations, another great episode, and I'm going to do an 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:40.280 extra shout out for the ending there. 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:41.320 Coming out on. 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:45.560 Rise Up, Gosh, you made me feel very, very old. 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:48.320 But then I was like bopping along. You know, I've 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:49.679 got to listen to this for the first time in 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.719 a studio. But I think if I'd been listening to this, 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:55.119 you know, with my EarPods running down the street, I 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:57.440 still would have broken out into a really big, fat 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.119 grin hearing that song again. 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:00.399 So thank you forgive me that. 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:06.400 Of course you're not gone. 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.639 That's two stories down for Mark, well done. Kate is 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:20.560 back with her second in Just a Moment. This is 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.600 Find and Tell. I'm Jamilla Risby, and this week's theme 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:28.400 is Forgive and Forget. Our next storyteller opened her heart 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.840 and revealed to the world the pain behind a really 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.960 difficult breakup a stunning story, but she had stiff competition 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.800 and didn't quite get the win. So let's hear what 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:40.040 she's made for us this time. 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:45.280 Hey, Kate, welcome back to Find and Tell. 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:47.080 Thanks so much for having me Jamilla. 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.600 We're about to hear your second story, but before we 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:52.440 get to that, I want to get to know a 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:55.600 little bit more about you beyond the beautiful vulnerability you 0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:57.800 shared with us last week about your breakup. 0:18:57.960 --> 0:18:58.920 What do you do for a job? 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.960 So I'm actually a visual artist, and so it's been 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:06.000 really cool for me because I think like how you 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:10.680 approach creating art with your hands and how you create art. 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:12.560 For your ears is really different. 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:16.040 How for those of us be on the obvious. 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:20.240 Well, I think for me, a lot of it is 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:26.800 about feeling, and when I'm painting, I really follow colors 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.280 and motifs and things. 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:31.480 That feel like home, that feel special. 0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:33.880 I think for a long time, when I was creating 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:37.760 like physical art, I thought that I had to paint 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:41.960 in a very particular way, And more recently I've realized 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:45.119 that No, I just love sparkly, tacky things. 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:46.919 So that's what I'm going to focus on. 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:50.320 And so I guess with the creative process, Like for 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:53.879 this podcast, it's super different in terms of how you 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:57.119 piece together a story and how you make things make sense. 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.240 But I'm also bringing that essence, like I'm just following 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:04.360 the feelings that I want to explore and little sparkly 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:05.960 things that bring me joy. 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:10.680 To This week's theme is Forgive and Forget. What are 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:11.520 we about to hear? 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.880 Yeah, to be honest, this was a really really difficult 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:19.760 podcast episode to create, I think because I have a 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:23.920 really difficult relationship with forgiveness. Yeah, so I saw Forgive 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:26.199 and Forget and I was like, really, do we have 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:31.439 to forgive and forget? But I guess also when they 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:33.880 gave us their themes, the intention was that we would 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:39.680 create three separate stories, and so I decided to mess 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:43.080 with the format a little bit. And so this one's 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:44.239 also about that. 0:20:44.560 --> 0:20:46.760 Well, that is your right, my friend, and you get 0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:48.560 to throw some glitter at it if you want to. 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:52.200 I can't wait to hear your second contribution to find 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:55.000 and Tell on Forgive and Forget. 0:20:56.720 --> 0:21:00.560 I feel like Persian, you can cover this up. Persian 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:04.000 taciness is coming in in a big way. 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:06.680 Oh that's my aesthetic entirely. 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:09.960 It's really just cool now. 0:21:10.680 --> 0:21:14.280 That's parasitosif she's one half of the band Vallas Alps, 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:17.000 and I'd originally wanted to talk to her because her 0:21:17.080 --> 0:21:19.800 music had a big impact on me during a really 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:24.960 difficult breakup last year, But somehow, maybe because we're both Persian, 0:21:25.320 --> 0:21:28.960 within minutes, I was instead pitching her own music video. 0:21:29.480 --> 0:21:32.240 So there's my suggestion for a future video clip where 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:35.560 you just get thirty fake Versachi bathrobes and try and 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:36.719 incorporate them. 0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:40.080 Yes, that is fantastic. Well, I'm actually working on a 0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:43.040 solo project where I'm using music to connect to my 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:47.320 Iranian heritage, so it's indie pop kind of songwriting with 0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:48.640